thesis statement on love and marriage

IvyPanda . (2023) 'Marriage in the Importance of Being Earnest: Analysis'. 29 October.

IvyPanda . 2023. "Marriage in the Importance of Being Earnest: Analysis." October 29, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-concept-of-marriage-in-the-importance-of-being-earnest/.

1. IvyPanda . "Marriage in the Importance of Being Earnest: Analysis." October 29, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-concept-of-marriage-in-the-importance-of-being-earnest/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Marriage in the Importance of Being Earnest: Analysis." October 29, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-concept-of-marriage-in-the-importance-of-being-earnest/.

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Essay #2 – “Love and Marriage”

By kannamma shanmugasundaram '99.

Managing and Valuing Cultural Diversity

Dating has been mentioned as the training ground for building a marriage relationship, for learning how to relate to someone of the opposite sex. While dating, people learn early that once they don’t like someone, they can drop them. This not only hurts others but…can possibly cause young people to learn that once they don’t like what they see in another person, they then can get out of the relationship…In marriage, one can’t be thinking like that, or everyone would…[be] divorcing. Unfortunately, this is already happening.

~ Jay Lang, Online Bulletin Board

Then most non-Asians hear of arranged marriages, they think of instances where individuals are sworn over to each other, never meeting until the day of the wedding. Such a custom is often looked upon with doubt and inhibitions, wariness and disbelief. “How can you marry someone you’ve never met?” “What happens if you don’t love them?” I have been fortunate enough to be witness to both love marriages-the kind more common in the United States-and arranged marriages—which are quite common in India. There are advantages and disadvantages to each. 1 have also been able to quell a great many of the misconceptions that may arise regarding one or the other. Arranged marriages have been the custom in India for many centuries, and are still practiced to this day. It is an arrangement between families, however, not between individuals. It is not entered into blindly, as many may think. Instead, a family, usually the groom’s, will send a go-between (usually a trusted family friend) to investigate any potential bride’s family. The go-between finds out information not only about the woman but about her family as well. In India, it is believed that marriage not only connects two individuals, but both of their families as well, and therefore it is imperative that both be of good status. Financial standing, medical history, and social class are all investigated. In addition, both the boy’s and the girls (for this usually occurs while both individuals are in their mid to late teens) astrological signs are examined to ensure compatibility.

Once the two young families have met, they set up a meeting at the girl’s house so that the boy’s family can actually meet the girl. In preparation for this visit, more information regarding the girl and her family is disclosed. Is she willing to adapt to any differences that may arise in the boy’s family pattern of living? In India, equality between the sexes is far from reality. Women are expected to leave their families, in a sense, adopting the man’s family as her own. She is to obey her mother-in-law, serving her and conforming to her expectations. She is also to serve her husband in all of them to cook, clean, care for the children, and stay at home. The man is expected to provide for her and protect her.

The caste system was especially powerful in earlier generations, and although not as common to many, it still plays a large role in possible matrimonial unifications between families in India. Marriage between social classes is frowned upon, and with this in mind, it is of little surprise to discover that many arranged marriages arc inbred.

Not much has changed in Indian society today, although the rules of arranged marriages have acquired some flexibility. Now the bride and groom are allowed to speak before the wedding and in some cases, are even allowed to go out once or twice unchaperoned. In addition, some women are even allowed to reject the choices of their parents. In the past, what die parents decreed was required to have been executed. Now, however, tradition is making way for new Western ways of thinking.

Actual “love” marriages are more common than before, yet they continue to exist only in a small portion of India’s high-class urban residents. Perhaps the most famous Indian love marriage was that of the late Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, who married Sonia, an Italian woman. These types of marriages are increasingly popular as college students seek freedom and their own individuality. The Western ideals of modernization and independence have resulted in “liberal attitudes toward mate selection among the college students,” according to one 1973 survey.

Surprisingly, love marriages were not common in the United States until about three hundred years ago. According to the book, May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons by Elisabeth Bumiller, it has only come about as a result of “courtly love in the Middle Ages and also from the impact of Christianity.” This Anglo-Saxon religion is thought to have “deepened the bond between husband and wife by likening it to the relationship between man and God.”

Perhaps the most crucial element in understanding the difference between an arranged marriage and a love marriage is the respective society’s differences in defining the concept of “love.” Most Americans are familiar with the phrase “falling in love.” There are those, however, who question the truth in this common term. What exactly is “love?” Can one “fall in love?” What about “love at first sight?” Does it exist? Can someone learn to love another? This final question provides the meat and truth to the surprisingly incredible success of arranged marriages. Being exposed a great deal to the culture of tire United States, I have learned that romance and dating in this country are all about expectations. People are asked, “What do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?” and a list of required qualities is rattled off. If someone does not fit those qualities, they are deemed unacceptable. “Well, I like him as a friend, but….”

In an arranged marriage, no expectations exist except for mutual respect. Neither the bride nor the groom, has had a chance to really “get to know” the other. After all, what happens in most Western marriages or relationships? Initially, there is an intense admiration and respect for each other. Usually, positive characteristics arc emphasized and focused on. Negative traits are ignored, overlooked, or brushed aside. Then, the more time you spend with someone, the more you begin to notice little things about them that annoy you. The way they leave the cap off the toothpaste or the way they never put their duty clothes in the hamper becomes irritating.

In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad. If you don’t know anything about the person, you begin to sec both his/her positives and Ms/her negatives at the same time, making the situation slightly more tolerable. Since I have never been in a relationship (love or arranged), I may not be the most ideal person to make such a statement. From what I have observed of others in relationships, this seems to often be the case. With fewer expectations, there are fewer disappointments.

This brings us to another reason why the Western culture often looks with disapproval upon the ancient tradition of arranged marriages. Even a general overview of the Western cultures show that they tend to emphasize independence and the sense of “leaving the nest.” Parents seem to be respected in a much more visible way in most Eastern cultures, as we see a greater occurrence of extended and nuclear families living under the same roof. Perhaps this is why Eastern cultures tend to be more open to the concept of having their parents arrange their marriage. There is a greater sense of respect and reverence towards elders in the Eastern cultures.

Falling in love is often said to actually be falling in “lust” or “awe.” Immediate physical attraction can blind a person to the faults of another. Many love marriages are based on this physical attraction. Note not all love marriages, but many. Physical attraction certainly doesn’t play as immediate and as large a role in arranged marriages. I personally have found the phrase “beauty comes from the inside” to be true, almost literally. I have friends who some may not find attractive, that even 1, upon first meeting them, did not consider to be particularly good looking. However, after knowing them, finding out more about their personalities, and the goodness of their character, 1 have honestly been able to see them in a new light, and they seem more beautiful to me physically as well. This seems to support the theory that arranged marriages’ successes are based on: love is a growing process and an emotion that is acquired. Love isn’t necessarily what individuals raised in the Western frame of thought assume it to be.

My personal opinion on arranged marriages has certainly changed; I feel it has matured. I once thought that love marriages were the best way to truly get to know the person you would be spending the rest of your life with. It would be extremely difficult going into a marriage, not knowing anything about the person, and expected to live together for the rest of your lives. I must admit, it was a very close-minded perspective.

Lately, however, as I have grown older, and closer to the “normal” age of marriage (in India women are usually married by the time they are 30), my opinions have broadened. The first prospect of marriage for me occurred with my grandmother when I was 14. She had mentioned that I would soon come of age (approximately 16 years for Indian girls) and that it was time to start looking for a husband for me. I remember turning to my mother in shock and disbelief. My mother only shook her head. “No, we won’t be doing that for awhile.” But the implications were clear. Eventually, they would. They would look for someone for me. They weren’t expecting me to find someone on my own.

My parents’ marriage was not an arranged marriage, although I believe that by Western standards, it is considered to be an “inbred” relationship. My parents are actually first cousins. My father had approached my mother’s father (his uncle) requesting to marry my mother, and then he had gone to talk to my mother. My mother had ignored his calls and letters because she thought it would be improper of her to respond to a man’s courtship without having her father’s approval first (she didn’t realize that my father had already spoken to her father). My parent’s marriage is not perfect, but then no one’s really is, right?

“Separation” by Sarah Phillips

After graduating from high school, the topic was brought up again. My parents are not in any hurry to find a suitable mate for me, but they are certainly keeping their eyes and ears peeled, as are the rest of my relatives. Most Westerners (myself included at one time) question their parents’ motives. “Do they not trust me?” “How do they know what kind of person I am looking for?” “Just because they pick someone they like doesn’t mean I will like them.” These doubts ran through my mind initially as well. Yet from what I’ve read and what I’ve experienced, parents only want what is best for their child. They want someone who is not only financially sound but someone who will respect and take care of their child as well. We trusted our parents to care for us when we were infants, when we become adults, we lose an element of this trust. I think part of the reason this is so hard to do, especially in the Western world is that there is such an emphasis on independence. Young people get used to being “on their own,” thinking for themselves. They do not feel secure having their future decided for them, and therefore want the selection of their mate to be a decision they make for themselves.

The unique thing about my situation is that if I were to go with an arranged marriage, I would cling to my Western views of female independence. I know my parents understand the influence that growing up in a Western/American society has had on me. I have a free spirit and enjoy my independence. I would not be happy staying at home, playing the “traditional” female role, and my parents understand that and are taking that into consideration when searching for a suitable groom. They are looking for someone who will be able to provide for me, but at the same time, someone who will allow me to further my career if that is what I choose to do.

This is a wonderful example of the differences in thinking and teaching styles of the Western culture, as opposed to the Eastern culture. The key to understanding both types of marriage is being able to keep an open mind and understanding the source of the difference of opinions. I feel that another key way to do that is to find a way to compromise, as my parents and I have done, compromising the best of both worlds, so to speak. We maintain the traditional respect in terms of allowing the parents to choose the mate, but also letting the son or daughter make the final decision and maintain a sense of their valued freedom.

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Strong Thesis Statements

A thesis statement clearly identifies the topic being discussed, includes the points discussed in the paper, and is written for a specific audience. Your thesis statement belongs at the end of your first paragraph, also known as your introduction. Use it to generate interest in your topic and encourage your audience to continue reading. Strong thesis statements:

• State the essay's subject -- the topic that you are discussing
• Reflect the essay's purpose -- either to give your readers information or to persuade your readers to agree with you
• Include a focus -- your assertion that conveys your point of view
• Use specific language -- avoids vague words and generalizations
• May (but don't have to) state the major subdivisions of the essay's topic

Developing Thesis Statements

To develop a thesis statement about your site, do some exploratory research and ask yourself questions about your topic like: 

• What interests me about this topic as I learn more about it?
• How does the topic relate to the larger themes discussed in this course?
• What are the major debates and disagreements over the topic you are studying?

Ask Dr. Wellman  for feedback on your thesis statement.

Picking Your Topic IS Research

Once you've picked a research topic for your paper, it isn't set in stone. It's just an idea that you will test and develop through exploratory research. This exploratory research may guide you into modifying your original idea for a research topic. Watch this video for more info:

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• How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

• Start with a question
• Write your initial answer
• Develop your answer
• Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

• Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
• Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
• Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

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The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

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Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

• Why you hold this position
• What they’ll learn from your essay
• The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

• In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
• In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

• Ask a question about your topic .
• Write your initial answer.
• Develop your answer by including reasons.
• Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

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McCombes, S. (2023, August 15). How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 5, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/thesis-statement/

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, best analysis: love and relationships in the great gatsby.

Book Guides

Love, desire, and sex are a major motivators for nearly every character in The Great Gatsby . However, none of Gatsby's five major relationships is depicted as healthy or stable.

So what can we make of this? Is Fitzgerald arguing that love itself is unstable, or is it just that experiencing love and desire the way the characters do is problematic?

Gatsby's portrayal of love and desire is complex. So we will explore and analyze each of Gatsby's five major relationships: Daisy/Tom, George/Myrtle, Gatsby/Daisy, Tom/Myrtle, and Jordan/Nick. We will also note how each relationship develops through the story, the power dynamics involved, and what each particular relationship seems to say about Fitzgerald's depiction of love.

We will also include analysis of important quotes for each of the five major couples. Finally, we will go over some common essay questions about love, desire, and relationships to help you with class assignments.

Keep reading for the ultimate guide to love in the time of Gatsby!

• George/Myrtle
• Daisy/Gatsby
• Nick/Jordan
• Common Essay Prompts/Discussion Topics

Quick Note on Our Citations

Our citation format in this guide is (chapter.paragraph). We're using this system since there are many editions of Gatsby, so using page numbers would only work for students with our copy of the book. To find a quotation we cite via chapter and paragraph in your book, you can either eyeball it (Paragraph 1-50: beginning of chapter; 50-100: middle of chapter; 100-on: end of chapter), or use the search function if you're using an online or eReader version of the text.

Analyzing The Great Gatsby Relationships

We will discuss the romantic pairings in the novel first through the lens of marriage. Then we will turn our attention to relationships that occur outside of marriage.

Marriage 1: Daisy and Tom Buchanan

Tom and Daisy Buchanan were married in 1919, three years before the start of the novel. They both come from incredibly wealthy families, and live on fashionable East Egg, marking them as members of the "old money" class.

Daisy and Tom Marriage Description

As Jordan relates in a flashback, Daisy almost changed her mind about marrying Tom after receiving a letter from Gatsby (an earlier relationship of hers, discussed below), but eventually went through with the ceremony "without so much as a shiver" (4.142).

Daisy appeared quite in love when they first got married, but the realities of the marriage, including Tom's multiple affairs, have worn on her. Tom even cheated on her soon after their honeymoon, according to Jordan: "It was touching to see them together—it made you laugh in a hushed, fascinated way. That was in August. A week after I left Santa Barbara Tom ran into a wagon on the Ventura road one night and ripped a front wheel off his car. The girl who was with him got into the papers too because her arm was broken—she was one of the chambermaids in the Santa Barbara Hotel" (1.143).

So what makes the Buchanans tick? Why has their marriage survived multiple affairs and even a hit-and-run? Find out through our analysis of key quotes from the novel.

Daisy and Tom Marriage Quotes

Why they came east I don't know. They had spent a year in France, for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. (1.17)

Nick introduces Tom and Daisy as restless, rich, and as a singular unit: they. Despite all of the revelations about the affairs and other unhappiness in their marriage, and the events of the novel, it's important to note our first and last descriptions of Tom and Daisy describe them as a close, if bored, couple . In fact, Nick only doubles down on this observation later in Chapter 1.

Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. 'All right,' I said, 'I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

"You see I think everything's terrible anyhow," she went on in a convinced way. "Everybody thinks so—the most advanced people. And I know. I've been everywhere and seen everything and done everything." Her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way, rather like Tom's, and she laughed with thrilling scorn. "Sophisticated—God, I'm sophisticated!"

"The instant her voice broke off, ceasing to compel my attention, my belief, I felt the basic insincerity of what she had said. It made me uneasy, as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me. I waited, and sure enough, in a moment she looked at me with an absolute smirk on her lovely face as if she had asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged." (1.118-120)

In this passage, Daisy pulls Nick aside in Chapter 1 and claims, despite her outward happiness and luxurious lifestyle, she's quite depressed by her current situation. At first, it seems Daisy is revealing the cracks in her marriage —Tom was "God knows where" at the birth of their daughter, Pammy—as well as a general malaise about society in general ("everything's terrible anyhow").

However, right after this confession, Nick doubts her sincerity. And indeed, she follows up her apparently serious complaint with "an absolute smirk." What's going on here?

Well, Nick goes on to observe that the smirk "asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged." In other words, despite Daisy's performance, she seems content to remain with Tom, part of the "secret society" of the ultra-rich.

So the question is: can anyone—or anything—lift Daisy out of her complacency?

"I never loved him," she said, with perceptible reluctance.

"Not at Kapiolani?" demanded Tom suddenly.

From the ballroom beneath, muffled and suffocating chords were drifting up on hot waves of air.

"Not that day I carried you down from the Punch Bowl to keep your shoes dry?" There was a husky tenderness in his tone. ". . . Daisy?" (7.258-62)

Over the course of the novel, both Tom and Daisy enter or continue affairs, pulling away from each other instead of confronting the problems in their marriage.

However, Gatsby forces them to confront their feelings in the Plaza Hotel when he demands Daisy say she never loved Tom. Although she gets the words out, she immediately rescinds them—"I did love [Tom] once but I loved you too!"—after Tom questions her.

Here, Tom—usually presented as a swaggering, brutish, and unkind—breaks down, speaking with "husky tenderness" and recalling some of the few happy moments in his and Daisy's marriage. This is a key moment because it shows despite the dysfunction of their marriage, Tom and Daisy seem to both seek solace in happy early memories. Between those few happy memories and the fact that they both come from the same social class, their marriage ends up weathering multiple affairs.

Daisy and Tom were sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table with a plate of cold fried chicken between them and two bottles of ale. He was talking intently across the table at her and in his earnestness his hand had fallen upon and covered her own. Once in a while she looked up at him and nodded in agreement.

They weren't happy, and neither of them had touched the chicken or the ale—and yet they weren't unhappy either. There was an unmistakable air of natural intimacy about the picture and anybody would have said that they were conspiring together. (7.409-10)

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. . . . (9.146)

By the end of the novel, after Daisy's murder of Myrtle as well as Gatsby's death, she and Tom are firmly back together, "conspiring" and "careless" once again, despite the deaths of their lovers.

As Nick notes, they "weren't happy…and yet they weren't unhappy either." Their marriage is important to both of them, since it reassures their status as old money aristocracy and brings stability to their lives. So the novel ends with them once again described as a unit, a "they," perhaps even more strongly bonded since they've survived not only another round of affairs but murder, as well.

Daisy and Tom Marriage Analysis

Neither Myrtle's infatuation with Tom or Gatsby's deep longing for Daisy can drive a wedge between the couple. Despite the lying, cheating, and murdering that occurs during the summer, Tom and Daisy end the novel just like they began it: careless, restless, and yet, firmly united.

The stubborn closeness of Tom and Daisy's marriage, despite Daisy's exaggerated unhappiness and Tom's philandering, reinforces the dominance of the old money class over the world of Gatsby. Despite so many troubles, for Tom and Daisy, their marriage guarantees their continued membership in the exclusive world of the old money rich. In other words, class is a much stronger bond than love in the novel.

Marriage 2: Myrtle and George Wilson

In contrast to Tom and Daisy, Myrtle and George were married 12 years before the start of the novel. You might think that since they've been married for four times as long, their marriage is more stable. In fact, in contrast from Tom and Daisy's unified front, Myrtle and George's marriage appears fractured from the beginning .

Myrtle and George Marriage Description

Although Myrtle was taken with George at first, she overestimated his money and "breeding" and found herself married to a mechanic and living over a garage in Queens, a situation she's apparently unhappy with (2.112).

However, divorce was uncommon in the 1920s, and furthermore, the working-class Myrtle doesn't have access to wealthy family members or any other real options, so she stays married—perhaps because George is quite devoted and even in some ways subservient to her.

A few months before the beginning of the novel in 1922, she begins an affair with Tom Buchanan, her first affair (2.117). She sees the affair as a way out of her marriage, but Tom sees her as just another disposable mistress, leaving her desperate and vulnerable once George finds out about the affair.

Myrtle and George Marriage Quotes

I heard footsteps on a stairs and in a moment the thickish figure of a woman blocked out the light from the office door. She was in the middle thirties, and faintly stout, but she carried her surplus flesh sensuously as some women can. Her face, above a spotted dress of dark blue crepe-de-chine, contained no facet or gleam of beauty but there was an immediately perceptible vitality about her as if the nerves of her body were continually smouldering. She smiled slowly and walking through her husband as if he were a ghost shook hands with Tom, looking him flush in the eye. Then she wet her lips and without turning around spoke to her husband in a soft, coarse voice:

"Get some chairs, why don't you, so somebody can sit down."

"Oh, sure," agreed Wilson hurriedly and went toward the little office, mingling immediately with the cement color of the walls. A white ashen dust veiled his dark suit and his pale hair as it veiled everything in the vicinity—except his wife, who moved close to Tom. (2.15-17)

As we discuss in our article on the symbolic valley of ashes , George is coated by the dust of despair and thus seems mired in the hopelessness and depression of that bleak place, while Myrtle is alluring and full of vitality. Her first action is to order her husband to get chairs, and the second is to move away from him, closer to Tom.

In contrast to Tom and Daisy, who are initially presented as a unit, our first introduction to George and Myrtle shows them fractured, with vastly different personalities and motivations. We get the sense right away that their marriage is in trouble, and conflict between the two is imminent.

"I married him because I thought he was a gentleman," she said finally. "I thought he knew something about breeding, but he wasn't fit to lick my shoe."

"You were crazy about him for a while," said Catherine.

"Crazy about him!" cried Myrtle incredulously. "Who said I was crazy about him? I never was any more crazy about him than I was about that man there." (2.112-4)

Here we get a bit of back-story about George and Myrtle's marriage: like Daisy, Myrtle was crazy about her husband at first but the marriage has since soured. But while Daisy doesn't have any real desire to leave Tom, here we see Myrtle eager to leave, and very dismissive of her husband. Myrtle seems to suggest that even having her husband wait on her is unacceptable—it's clear she thinks she is finally headed for bigger and better things.

Generally he was one of these worn-out men: when he wasn't working he sat on a chair in the doorway and stared at the people and the cars that passed along the road. When any one spoke to him he invariably laughed in an agreeable, colorless way. He was his wife's man and not his own. (7.312)

Again, in contrast to the strangely unshakeable partnership of Tom and Daisy, the co-conspirators, Michaelis (briefly taking over narrator duties) observes that George "was his wife's man," "worn out." Obviously, this situation gets turned on its head when George locks Myrtle up when he discovers the affair, but Michaelis's observation speaks to instability in the Wilson's marriage, in which each fights for control over the other . Rather than face the world as a unified front, the Wilsons each struggle for dominance within the marriage.

"Beat me!" he heard her cry. "Throw me down and beat me, you dirty little coward!"

A moment later she rushed out into the dusk, waving her hands and shouting; before he could move from his door the business was over. (7.314-5)

We don't know what happened in the fight before this crucial moment, but we do know George locked Myrtle in a room once he figured out she was having an affair. So despite the outward appearance of being ruled by his wife, he does, in fact, have the ability to physically control her. However, he apparently doesn't hit her, the way Tom does, and Myrtle taunts him for it—perhaps insinuating he's less a man than Tom.

This outbreak of both physical violence (George locking up Myrtle) and emotional abuse (probably on both sides) fulfills the earlier sense of the marriage being headed for conflict. Still, it's disturbing to witness the last few minutes of this fractured, unstable partnership.

Myrtle and George Marriage Analysis

While Tom and Daisy's marriage ends up being oddly stable thanks to their money, despite multiple affairs, Myrtle and George's marriage goes from strained to violent after just one.

In other words, Tom and Daisy can patch things up over and over by retreating into their status and money, while Myrtle and George don't have that luxury . While George wants to retreat out west, he doesn't have the money, leaving him and Myrtle in Queens and vulnerable to the dangerous antics of the other characters. The instability of their marriage thus seems to come from the instability of their financial situation, as well as the fact that Myrtle is more ambitious than George.

Fitzgerald seems to be arguing that anyone who is not wealthy is much more vulnerable to tragedy and strife. As a song sung in Chapter 5 goes, "The rich get richer and the poor get—children"—the rich get richer and the poor can't escape their poverty, or tragedy (5.150). The contrasting marriages of the Buchanans and the Wilsons help illustrate the novel's critique of the wealthy, old-money class.

Relationship 1: Daisy Buchanan and Jay Gatsby

The relationship at the very heart of The Great Gatsby is, of course, Gatsby and Daisy , or more specifically, Gatsby's tragic love of (or obsession with) Daisy, a love that drives the novel's plot. So how did this ill-fated love story begin?

Daisy and Gatsby Relationship Description

Five years before the start of the novel, Jay Gatsby (who had learned from Dan Cody how to act like one of the wealthy) was stationed in Louisville before going to fight in WWI. In Louisville, he met Daisy Fay, a beautiful young heiress (10 years his junior), who took him for someone of her social class. Gatsby maintained the lie, which allowed their relationship to progress.

Gatsby fell in love with Daisy and the wealth she represents, and she with him (though apparently not to the same excessive extent ), but he had to leave for the war and by the time he returned to the US in 1919, Daisy has married Tom Buchanan.

Determined to get her back, Gatsby falls in with Meyer Wolfshiem, a gangster, and gets into bootlegging and other criminal enterprises to make enough money to finally be able to provide for her. By the beginning of the novel, he is ready to try and win her back over, ignoring the fact she has been married to Tom for three years and has a child. So does this genius plan turn out the way Gatsby hopes? Can he repeat the past? Not exactly.

Daisy and Gatsby Relationship Quotes

"You must know Gatsby."

"Gatsby?" demanded Daisy. "What Gatsby?" (1.60-1)

In the first chapter, we get a few mentions and glimpses of Gatsby, but one of the most interesting is Daisy immediately perking up at his name. She obviously still remembers him and perhaps even thinks about him, but her surprise suggests that she thinks he's long gone, buried deep in her past.

This is in sharp contrast to the image we get of Gatsby himself at the end of the Chapter, reaching actively across the bay to Daisy's house (1.152). While Daisy views Gatsby as a memory, Daisy is Gatsby's past, present, and future. It's clear even in Chapter 1 that Gatsby's love for Daisy is much more intense than her love for him.

"Gatsby bought that house so that Daisy would be just across the bay."

Then it had not been merely the stars to which he had aspired on that June night. He came alive to me, delivered suddenly from the womb of his purposeless splendor. (4.151-2)

In Chapter 4, we learn Daisy and Gatsby's story from Jordan: specifically, how they dated in Louisville but it ended when Gatsby went to the front. She also explains how Daisy threatened to call off her marriage to Tom after receiving a letter from Gatsby, but of course ended up marrying him anyway (4.140).

Here we also learn that Gatsby's primary motivation is to get Daisy back, while Daisy is of course in the dark about all of this. This sets the stage for their affair being on unequal footing: while each has love and affection for the other, Gatsby has thought of little else but Daisy for five years while Daisy has created a whole other life for herself .

"We haven't met for many years," said Daisy, her voice as matter-of-fact as it could ever be.

"Five years next November." (5.69-70)

Daisy and Gatsby finally reunite in Chapter 5, the book's mid-point. The entire chapter is obviously important for understanding the Daisy/Gatsby relationship, since we actually see them interact for the first time. But this initial dialogue is fascinating, because we see that Daisy's memories of Gatsby are more abstract and clouded, while Gatsby has been so obsessed with her he knows the exact month they parted and has clearly been counting down the days until their reunion.

They were sitting at either end of the couch looking at each other as if some question had been asked or was in the air, and every vestige of embarrassment was gone. Daisy's face was smeared with tears and when I came in she jumped up and began wiping at it with her handkerchief before a mirror. But there was a change in Gatsby that was simply confounding. He literally glowed; without a word or a gesture of exultation a new well-being radiated from him and filled the little room. (5.87)

After the initially awkward re-introduction, Nick leaves Daisy and Gatsby alone and comes back to find them talking candidly and emotionally. Gatsby has transformed—he is radiant and glowing. In contrast, we don't see Daisy as radically transformed except for her tears. Although our narrator, Nick, pays much closer attention to Gatsby than Daisy, these different reactions suggest Gatsby is much more intensely invested in the relationship.

"They're such beautiful shirts," she sobbed, her voice muffled in the thick folds. "It makes me sad because I've never seen such—such beautiful shirts before." (5.118).

Gatsby gets the chance to show off his mansion and enormous wealthy to Daisy, and she breaks down after a very conspicuous display of Gatsby's wealth, through his many-colored shirts.

In Daisy's tears, you might sense a bit of guilt—that Gatsby attained so much just for her—or perhaps regret, that she might have been able to be with him had she had the strength to walk away from her marriage with Tom.

Still, unlike Gatsby, whose motivations are laid bare, it's hard to know what Daisy is thinking and how invested she is in their relationship, despite how openly emotional she is during this reunion. Perhaps she's just overcome with emotion due to reliving the emotions of their first encounters.

His heart beat faster and faster as Daisy's white face came up to his own. He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete. (6.134)

In flashback, we hear about Daisy and Gatsby's first kiss, through Gatsby's point of view. We see explicitly in this scene that, for Gatsby, Daisy has come to represent all of his larger hopes and dreams about wealth and a better life—she is literally the incarnation of his dreams . There is no analogous passage on Daisy's behalf, because we actually don't know that much of Daisy's inner life, or certainly not much compared to Gatsby.

So we see, again, the relationship is very uneven—Gatsby has literally poured his heart and soul into it, while Daisy, though she obviously has love and affection for Gatsby, hasn't idolized him in the same way. It becomes clear here that Daisy—who is human and fallible—can never live up to Gatsby's huge projection of her .

"Oh, you want too much!" she cried to Gatsby. "I love you now—isn't that enough? I can't help what's past." She began to sob helplessly. "I did love him once—but I loved you too."

Gatsby's eyes opened and closed.

"You loved me too?" he repeated. (7.264-66)

Here we finally get a glimpse at Daisy's real feelings— she loved Gatsby, but also Tom, and to her those were equal loves . She hasn't put that initial love with Gatsby on a pedestal the way Gatsby has. Gatsby's obsession with her appears shockingly one-sided at this point, and it's clear to the reader she will not leave Tom for him. You can also see why this confession is such a blow to Gatsby: he's been dreaming about Daisy for years and sees her as his one true love, while she can't even rank her love for Gatsby above her love for Tom.

"Was Daisy driving?"

"Yes," he said after a moment, "but of course I'll say I was." (7.397-8)

Despite Daisy's rejection of Gatsby back at the Plaza Hotel, he refuses to believe that it was real and is sure that he can still get her back. His devotion is so intense he doesn't think twice about covering for her and taking the blame for Myrtle's death. In fact, his obsession is so strong he barely seems to register that there's been a death, or to feel any guilt at all. This moment further underscores how much Daisy means to Gatsby, and how comparatively little he means to her.

She was the first "nice" girl he had ever known. In various unrevealed capacities he had come in contact with such people but always with indiscernible barbed wire between. He found her excitingly desirable. He went to her house, at first with other officers from Camp Taylor, then alone. It amazed him—he had never been in such a beautiful house before. But what gave it an air of breathless intensity was that Daisy lived there—it was as casual a thing to her as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it, a hint of bedrooms upstairs more beautiful and cool than other bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its corridors and of romances that were not musty and laid away already in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year's shining motor cars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely withered. It excited him too that many men had already loved Daisy—it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all about the house, pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still vibrant emotions. (8.10, emphasis added)

In Chapter 8, when we get the rest of Gatsby's backstory, we learn more about what drew him to Daisy—her wealth, and specifically the world that opened up to Gatsby as he got to know her. Interestingly, we also learn that her "value increased" in Gatsby's eyes when it became clear that many other men had also loved her. We see then how Daisy got all tied up in Gatsby's ambitions for a better, wealthier life.

You also know, as a reader, that Daisy obviously is human and fallible and can never realistically live up to Gatsby's inflated images of her and what she represents to him. So in these last pages, before Gatsby's death as we learn the rest of Gatsby's story, we sense that his obsessive longing for Daisy was as much about his longing for another, better life, than it was about a single woman.

Gatsby and Daisy Relationship Analysis

Daisy and Gatsby's relationship is definitely lopsided. There is an uneven degree of love on both sides (Gatsby seems much more obsessively in love with Daisy than Daisy is with him). We also have difficulty deciphering both sides of the relationship, since we know far more about Gatsby, his past, and his internal life than about Daisy.

Because of this, it's hard to criticize Daisy for not choosing Gatsby over Tom—as an actual, flesh-and-blood person, she never could have fulfilled Gatsby's rose-tinted memory of her and all she represents. Furthermore, during her brief introduction into Gatsby's world in Chapter 6, she seemed pretty unhappy. "She was appalled by West Egg, this unprecedented "place" that Broadway had begotten upon a Long Island fishing village—appalled by its raw vigor that chafed under the old euphemisms and by the too obtrusive fate that herded its inhabitants along a short cut from nothing to nothing. She saw something awful in the very simplicity she failed to understand" (6.96). So could Daisy have really been happy if she ran off with Gatsby? Unlikely.

Many people tie Gatsby's obsessive pursuit of Daisy to the American Dream itself—the dream is as alluring as Daisy but as ultimately elusive and even deadly.

Their relationship is also a meditation on change —as much as Gatsby wants to repeat the past, he can't. Daisy has moved on and he can never return to that beautiful, perfect moment when he kissed her for the first time and wedded all her hopes and dreams to her.

Relationship 2: Tom Buchanan and Myrtle Wilson

In contrast to Gatsby and Daisy's long history, the novel's other affair began much more recently: Tom and Myrtle start their relationship a few months before the novel opens.

Tom and Myrtle Relationship Description

Myrtle sees the affair as romantic and a ticket out of her marriage, while Tom sees it as just another affair, and Myrtle as one of a string of mistresses.

The pair has undeniable physical chemistry and attraction to each other, perhaps more than any other pairing in the book.

Perhaps due to Myrtle's tragic and unexpected death, Tom does display some emotional attachment to her, which complicates a reading of him as a purely antagonistic figure—or of their relationship as purely physical. So what drives this affair? What does it reveal about Tom and Myrtle? Let's find out.

Tom and Myrtle Relationship Quotes

"I think it's cute," said Mrs. Wilson enthusiastically. "How much is it?"

"That dog?" He looked at it admiringly. "That dog will cost you ten dollars."

The airedale—undoubtedly there was an airedale concerned in it somewhere though its feet were startlingly white—changed hands and settled down into Mrs. Wilson's lap, where she fondled the weather-proof coat with rapture.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked delicately.

"That dog? That dog's a boy."

"It's a bitch," said Tom decisively. "Here's your money. Go and buy ten more dogs with it." (2.38-43)

This passage is great because it neatly displays Tom and Myrtle's different attitudes toward the affair . Myrtle thinks that Tom is spoiling her specifically, and that he cares about her more than he really does—after all, he stops to buy her a dog just because she says it's cute and insists she wants one on a whim.

But to Tom, the money isn't a big deal. He casually throws away the 10 dollars, aware he's being scammed but not caring, since he has so much money at his disposal. He also insists that he knows more than the dog seller and Myrtle, showing how he looks down at people below his own class—but Myrtle misses this because she's infatuated with both the new puppy and Tom himself.

Myrtle pulled her chair close to mine, and suddenly her warm breath poured over me the story of her first meeting with Tom.

"It was on the two little seats facing each other that are always the last ones left on the train. I was going up to New York to see my sister and spend the night. He had on a dress suit and patent leather shoes and I couldn't keep my eyes off him but every time he looked at me I had to pretend to be looking at the advertisement over his head. When we came into the station he was next to me and his white shirt-front pressed against my arm—and so I told him I'd have to call a policeman, but he knew I lied. I was so excited that when I got into a taxi with him I didn't hardly know I wasn't getting into a subway train. All I kept thinking about, over and over, was 'You can't live forever, you can't live forever.' " (2.119-20)

Myrtle, twelve years into a marriage she's unhappy in, sees her affair with Tom as a romantic escape. She tells the story of how she and Tom met like it's the beginning of a love story. In reality, it's pretty creepy —Tom sees a woman he finds attractive on a train and immediately goes and presses up to her like and convinces her to go sleep with him immediately. Not exactly the stuff of classic romance!

Combined with the fact Myrtle believes Daisy's Catholicism (a lie) is what keeps her and Tom apart, you see that despite Myrtle's pretensions of worldliness, she actually knows very little about Tom or the upper classes, and is a poor judge of character. She is an easy person for Tom to take advantage of.

Some time toward midnight Tom Buchanan and Mrs. Wilson stood face to face discussing in impassioned voices whether Mrs. Wilson had any right to mention Daisy's name.

"Daisy! Daisy! Daisy!" shouted Mrs. Wilson. "I'll say it whenever I want to! Daisy! Dai——"

Making a short deft movement Tom Buchanan broke her nose with his open hand. (2.124-6)

In case the reader was still wondering that perhaps Myrtle's take on the relationship had some basis in truth, this is a cold hard dose of reality. Tom's vicious treatment of Myrtle reminds the reader of his brutality and the fact that, to him, Myrtle is just another affair, and he would never in a million years leave Daisy for her.

Despite the violence of this scene, the affair continues. Myrtle is either so desperate to escape her marriage or so self-deluded about what Tom thinks of her (or both) that she stays with Tom after this ugly scene.

There is no confusion like the confusion of a simple mind, and as we drove away Tom was feeling the hot whips of panic. His wife and his mistress, until an hour ago secure and inviolate, were slipping precipitately from his control. (7.164)

Chapter 2 gives us lots of insight into Myrtle's character and how she sees her affair with Tom. But other than Tom's physical attraction to Myrtle, we don't get as clear of a view of his motivations until later on. In Chapter 7, Tom panics once he finds out George knows about his wife's affair. We learn here that control is incredibly important to Tom—control of his wife, control of his mistress, and control of society more generally (see his rant in Chapter 1 about the "Rise of the Colored Empires" ).

So just as he passionately rants and raves against the "colored races," he also gets panicked and angry when he sees that he is losing control both over Myrtle and Daisy. This speaks to Tom's entitlement —both as a wealthy person, as a man, and as a white person—and shows how his relationship with Myrtle is just another display of power. It has very little to do with his feelings for Myrtle herself. So as the relationship begins to slip from his fingers, he panics—not because he's scared of losing Myrtle, but because he's scared of losing a possession.

"And if you think I didn't have my share of suffering—look here, when I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits sitting there on the sideboard I sat down and cried like a baby. By God it was awful——" (9.145)

Despite Tom's abhorrent behavior throughout the novel, at the very end, Nick leaves us with an image of Tom confessing to crying over Myrtle. This complicates the reader's desire to see Tom as a straightforward villain. This confession of emotion certainly doesn't redeem Tom, but it does prevent you from seeing him as a complete monster.

Tom and Myrtle Relationship Analysis

Just as George and Myrtle's marriage serves as a foil to Tom and Daisy's, Tom and Myrtle's affair is a foil for Daisy and Gatsby's . While Daisy and Gatsby have history, Tom and Myrtle got together recently. And while their relationship seems to be driven by physical attraction, Gatsby is attracted to Daisy's wealth and status.

The tragic end to this affair, as well as Daisy and Gatsby's, reinforces the idea that class is an enormous, insurmountable barrier , and that when people try to circumvent the barrier by dating across classes, they end up endangering themselves.

Tom and Myrtle's affair also speaks to the unfair advantages that Tom has as a wealthy, white man. Even though for a moment he felt himself losing control over his life, he quickly got it back and was able to hide in his money while Gatsby, Myrtle, and George all ended up dead thanks to their connection to the Buchanans.

In short, Tom and Myrtle's relationship allows Fitzgerald to sharply critique the world of the wealthy, old-money class in 1920s New York . By showing Tom's affair with a working-class woman, Nick reveals Tom's ugliest behavior as well as the cruelty of class divisions during the roaring twenties.

Relationship 3: Nick Carraway and Jordan Baker

We've covered the novel's two married couples—the Buchanans and the Wilsons—as well as the affairs of three out of four of those married parties. But there is one more relationship in the novel, one that is a bit disconnected to the others. I'm talking, of course, about Nick and Jordan.

Nick and Jordan Relationship Description

Nick and Jordan are the only couple without any prior contact before the novel begins (aside from Nick apparently seeing her photo once in a magazine and hearing about her attempt to cheat). Jordan is a friend of Daisy's who is staying with her, and Nick meets Jordan when he goes to have dinner with the Buchanans.

We can observe their relationship most closely in Chapters 3 and 4, as Nick gets closer to Jordan despite needing to break off his relationship back home first. However, their relationship takes a back seat in the middle and end of the novel as the drama of Daisy's affair with Gatsby, and Tom's with Myrtle, plays out. So by the end of the novel, Nick sees Jordan is just as self-centered and immoral as Tom and Daisy, and his earlier infatuation fades to disgust. She, in turn, calls him out for not being as honest and careful as he presents himself as.

So what's the story with Nick and Jordan? Why include their relationship at all? Let's dig into what sparks the relationship and the insights they give us into the other characters.

Nick and Jordan Relationship Quotes

I enjoyed looking at her. She was a slender, small-breasted girl, with an erect carriage which she accentuated by throwing her body backward at the shoulders like a young cadet. Her grey sun-strained eyes looked back at me with polite reciprocal curiosity out of a wan, charming discontented face. It occurred to me now that I had seen her, or a picture of her, somewhere before. (1.57)

As Nick eyes Jordan in Chapter 1, we see his immediate physical attraction to her , though it's not as potent as Tom's to Myrtle. And similarly to Gatsby's attraction to Daisy being to her money and voice, Nick is pulled in by Jordan's posture, her "wan, charming discontented face"— her attitude and status are more alluring than her looks alone . So Nick's attraction to Jordan gives us a bit of insight both in how Tom sees Myrtle and how Gatsby sees Daisy.

"Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon."

"Of course you will," confirmed Daisy. "In fact I think I'll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I'll sort of—oh—fling you together. You know—lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing——" (1.131-2)

Throughout the novel, we see Nick avoiding getting caught up in relationships—the woman he mentions back home, the woman he dates briefly in his office, Myrtle's sister—though he doesn't protest to being "flung together" with Jordan. Perhaps this is because Jordan would be a step up for Nick in terms of money and class, which speaks to Nick's ambition and class-consciousness , despite the way he paints himself as an everyman. Furthermore, unlike these other women, Jordan isn't clingy—she lets Nick come to her. Nick sees attracted to how detached and cool she is.

"You're a rotten driver," I protested. "Either you ought to be more careful or you oughtn't to drive at all."

"I am careful."

"No, you're not."

"Well, other people are," she said lightly.

"What's that got to do with it?"

"They'll keep out of my way," she insisted. "It takes two to make an accident."

"Suppose you met somebody just as careless as yourself."

"I hope I never will," she answered. "I hate careless people. That's why I like you."

Her grey, sun-strained eyes stared straight ahead, but she had deliberately shifted our relations, and for a moment I thought I loved her. (3.162-70)

Here, Nick is attracted to Jordan's blasé attitude and her confidence that others will avoid her careless behavior—an attitude she can afford because of her money. In other words, Nick seems fascinated by the world of the super-wealthy and the privilege it grants its members.

So just as Gatsby falls in love with Daisy and her wealthy status, Nick also seems attracted to Jordan for similar reasons. However, this conversation not only foreshadows the tragic car accident later in the novel, but it also hints at what Nick will come to find repulsive about Jordan: her callous disregard for everyone but herself .

It was dark now, and as we dipped under a little bridge I put my arm around Jordan's golden shoulder and drew her toward me and asked her to dinner. Suddenly I wasn't thinking of Daisy and Gatsby any more but of this clean, hard, limited person who dealt in universal skepticism and who leaned back jauntily just within the circle of my arm. A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: "There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired." (4.164)

Nick, again with Jordan, seems exhilarated to be with someone who is a step above him in terms of social class, exhilarated to be a "pursuing" person, rather than just busy or tired . Seeing the usually level-headed Nick this enthralled gives us some insight into Gatsby's infatuation with Daisy, and also allows us to glimpse Nick-the-person, rather than Nick-the-narrator.

And again, we get a sense of what attracts him to Jordan—her clean, hard, limited self, her skepticism, and jaunty attitude. It's interesting to see these qualities become repulsive to Nick just a few chapters later.

Just before noon the phone woke me and I started up with sweat breaking out on my forehead. It was Jordan Baker; she often called me up at this hour because the uncertainty of her own movements between hotels and clubs and private houses made her hard to find in any other way. Usually her voice came over the wire as something fresh and cool as if a divot from a green golf links had come sailing in at the office window but this morning it seemed harsh and dry.

"I've left Daisy's house," she said. "I'm at Hempstead and I'm going down to Southampton this afternoon."

Probably it had been tactful to leave Daisy's house, but the act annoyed me and her next remark made me rigid.

"You weren't so nice to me last night."

"How could it have mattered then?" (8.49-53)

Later in the novel, after Myrtle's tragic death, Jordan's casual, devil-may-care attitude is no longer cute—in fact, Nick finds it disgusting . How can Jordan care so little about the fact that someone died, and instead be most concerned with Nick acting cold and distant right after the accident?

In this brief phone conversation, we thus see Nick's infatuation with Jordan ending, replaced with the realization that Jordan's casual attitude is indicative of everything Nick hates about the rich, old money group . So by extension, Nick's relationship with Jordan represents how his feelings about the wealthy have evolved—at first he was drawn in by their cool, detached attitudes, but eventually found himself repulsed by their carelessness and cruelty.

She was dressed to play golf and I remember thinking she looked like a good illustration, her chin raised a little, jauntily, her hair the color of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that though there were several she could have married at a nod of her head but I pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn't making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up to say goodbye.

"Nevertheless you did throw me over," said Jordan suddenly. "You threw me over on the telephone. I don't give a damn about you now but it was a new experience for me and I felt a little dizzy for a while."

We shook hands.

"Oh, and do you remember—" she added, "——a conversation we had once about driving a car?"

"Why—not exactly."

"You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn't I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride."

"I'm thirty," I said. "I'm five years too old to lie to myself and call it honor." (9.129-135)

In their official break-up, Jordan calls out Nick for claiming to be honest and straightforward but in fact being prone to lying himself . So even as Nick is disappointed in Jordan's behavior, Jordan is disappointed to find just another "bad driver" in Nick, and both seem to mutually agree they would never work as a couple. It's interesting to see Nick called out for dishonest behavior for once. For all of his judging of others, he's clearly not a paragon of virtue, and Jordan clearly recognizes that.

This break-up is also interesting because it's the only time we see a relationship end because the two members choose to walk away from each other—all the other failed relationships (Daisy/Gatsby, Tom/Myrtle, Myrtle/George) ended because one or both members died . So perhaps there is a safe way out of a bad relationship in Gatsby—to walk away early, even if it's difficult and you're still "half in love" with the other person (9.136).

If only Gatsby could have realized the same thing.

Nick and Jordan Relationship Analysis

Nick and Jordan's relationship is interesting, because it's the only straightforward dating we see in the novel (it's neither a marriage nor an illicit affair), and it doesn't serve as an obvious foil to the other relationships. But it does echo Daisy and Gatsby's relationship , in that a poorer man desires a richer girl, and for that reason gives us additional insight into Gatsby's love for Daisy. But it also quietly echoes Tom's relationship with Myrtle , since we Nick seems physically drawn to Jordan as well.

The relationship also is one of the ways we get insight into Nick. For instance, he only really admits to his situation with the woman back at home when he's talking about being attracted to Jordan. "I'd been writing letters once a week and signing them: "Love, Nick," and all I could think of was how, when that certain girl played tennis, a faint mustache of perspiration appeared on her upper lip. Nevertheless there was a vague understanding that had to be tactfully broken off before I was free" (3.170). Through Jordan, we actually see Nick experience exhilaration and love and attraction.

Finally, through his relationship with Jordan, we can easily see Nick's evolving attitude toward the wealthy elite. While he allows himself to be charmed at first by this fast-moving, wealthy, and careless world, he eventually becomes disgusted by the utter lack of morality or compassion for others.

Discussion and Essay Topics on Love in The Great Gatsby

These are a few typical essay topics surrounding issues of love, desire, and relationships you should be prepared to write about. Some of them give you the opportunity to zoom in on just one couple, while others have you analyze the relationships in the book more generally. As always, it will be important to close-read, find key lines to use as evidence, and argue your point with a clearly-organized essay. (You can read more of our essay writing tips in our Character Analysis article .) So let's take a look at a few common love and relationships prompts to see this analysis in action!

Is there any couple in The Great Gatsby that has true love?

For any essay topic that asks if characters in a book represent some kind of virtue (whether that's true love, honesty, morality, or anything else), you should start by coming up with a definition of the value . For example, in this case, you should give a definition of "true love," since how you define true love will affect who you choose and how you make your argument.

For example, if you argue that true love comes down to stability, you could potentially argue Tom and Daisy have true love, since they actually remain together, unlike any of the other couples. But if you argue true love is based on strong emotion, you might say Gatsby's love for Daisy is the truest. So however you define true love, make sure to clearly state that definition, since it will shape your argument!

Remember it's also possible in a prompt like this to argue that no one in the book has true love. You would still start by defining true love, but then you would explain why each of the major couples does not have real love, and perhaps briefly explain what element each couple is missing.

Is The Great Gatsby a love story or a satire?

Some essays have you zoom way out and consider what The Great Gatsby's overall genre (or type) is. The most common argument is that, while Gatsby is a tragic love story on the surface (the love of Gatsby and Daisy), it's really more of a satire of wealthy New York society, or a broader critique of the American Dream. This is because the themes of money , society and class, and the American Dream are pretty constant, while the relationships are more of a vehicle to examine those themes.

To argue which genre Gatsby is (whether you say "it's more of a love story" or "it's more of a satire"), define your chosen genre and explain why Gatsby fits the definition . Make sure to include some evidence from the novel's final chapter, no matter what you argue. Endings are important, so make sure you link Gatsby's ending to the genre you believe it is. For example, if you're arguing "Gatsby is a love story," you could emphasize the more hopeful, optimistic parts of Nick's final lines. But if you argue "Gatsby is satire," you would look at the sad, harsh details of the final chapter—Gatsby's sparsely-attended funeral, the crude word scrawled against his back steps, etc. Also, be sure to check out our post on the novel's ending for more analysis.

Is what Gatsby feels for Daisy love, obsession, affection, or accumulation/objectification? What is Fitzgerald's message here?

A really common essay topic/topic of discussion is the question of Gatsby's love for Daisy (and sometimes, Daisy's love for Gatsby): is it real, is it a symbol for something else, and what does it reveal about both Daisy and Gatsby's characters?

As we discussed above, Gatsby's love for Daisy is definitely more intense than Daisy's love for Gatsby, and furthermore, Gatsby's love for Daisy seems tied up in an obsession with her wealth and the status she represents . From there, it's up to you how you argue how you see Gatsby's love for Daisy—whether it's primarily an obsession with wealth, whether Daisy is just an object to be collected, or whether you think Gatsby actually loves Daisy the person, not just Daisy the golden girl.

Analyze the nature of male-female relationships in the novel.

This is a zoomed-out prompt that wants you to talk about the nature of relationships in general in the novel. Still, even though we have clearly identified the five major relationships, it might be complicated for you to try and talk about every single one in depth in just one essay. Instead, it will be more manageable for you to use evidence from two to three of the couples to make your point .

You could explore how the relationships expose that America is in fact a classist society. After all, the only relationship that lasts (Tom and Daisy's) lasts because of the security of being in the same class, while the others fail either due to cross-class dating or one member (Myrtle) desperately trying to break out of her given class.

You could also talk about how the power dynamics within the relationships vary wildly , but only the couple that seems to have a stable relationship is also described as "conspiratorial" and often as a "they"—that is, Tom and Daisy Buchanan. So perhaps Fitzgerald does envision a sort of lasting partnership being possible, if certain conditions (like both members being happy with the amount of money in the marriage) are met.

This prompt and ones like it give you a lot of freedom, but make sure not to bite off more than you chew!

What's Next?

Wondering how else you can pair these characters in an essay? Check out our article on comparing and contrasting the most common character pairings in The Great Gatsby .

Why is money so crucial in the world of the novel? Read more about money and materialism in Gatsby to find out.

Need to get the events of the book straight? Check out our chapter summaries to get a handle on the various parties, liaisons, flashbacks, and deaths. Get started with our book summary here !

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Thirteen Theses on Marriage

T hirteen theses in defense of so-called heteronormativity and other supposed heresies, from a Christian and specifically Catholic perspective, for the purpose of public debate:

1)Homo sapiens is a sexually dimorphic species that depends for its propagation and socialization on the complementary differences between male and female.

2)Sexual difference, not variation in sexual inclination or “orientation,” is fundamental to the existence and well-being of the human race.

3)A human being comprises body and soul, and human sexual desires are influenced by developments and disorders of both body and soul.

4)Sexual desire, sexual intention, and sexual action must be distinguished, whether for psychological or moral or legal purposes, and each may be well ordered or disordered.

5)Well-ordered sexual intentions have in view goods both of body and of soul, goods that are at once personal and societal.

6)Consideration of these goods ought to respect the conjugal nature and reproductive potential of the most fundamental sexual act.

7)Consideration of these goods ought to respect the highest human good, which is enjoyment of God and of one another in God.

8)All human persons are constitutionally ordered to this highest good and as such are deserving of respect regardless of their desires, intentions, or actions.

9)All persons are capable, by intention or action, of subverting the human vocation and, insofar as they do so, are deserving of disapprobation and well served by appropriate social penalties that do not infringe upon their elemental rights.

10)The full development of a person is possible without sexual intimacy; where sexual intimacy is chosen, the faithful marriage of man and woman provides the only context in which that intimacy can be properly realized and fully expressed.

11)Moreover, the marriage of man and woman, by virtue of the natural law of fecundity, establishes a society more primitive than the state and bears inalienable rights untouchable by the state, which indeed is obligated to offer that society its support.

12)It is therefore right that public policy should encourage the well-being of the natural family unit and discourage activities that fundamentally undermine it, including sexual activities; fornication, for example, whether inter-sex or same-sex, ought to be discouraged in a manner respectful of individual freedom and responsibility.

13)The above claims have public relevance because they concern the public good; they are no more or less discriminatory than other bona fide claims about the public good, and their contraries or alternatives have no greater prima facie claim to public consideration.

Douglas Farrow is professor of Christian Thought at McGill University and a member of First Things ’ advisory council.

By Jonathan Rauch

I admire First Things and Douglas Farrow for asking a secular Jewish homosexual gay-marriage supporter, a “SJHGMS,” to respond to his thirteen theses. That shows the kind of commitment to fair-minded discussion that the marriage debate could use more of. But I find myself at a bit of a loss as to how to respond. From the point of view of this SJHGMS, Farrow’s theses are, as Wolfgang Pauli once said, not even wrong. Most of them lack refutable content (what William James called “cash value”), amounting instead to metaphysical propositions that, for the most part, one must take or leave.

Predictably, I leave them. It’s not even that I choose to leave them; it’s that I’m not sure what they mean or how to get a handle on them. For example, I don’t know what sort of evidence or criticism could be brought to bear on Mr. Farrow’s claim that only sexual difference, and not sexual orientation, is fundamental to human well-being. He will forgive me, and other gay people, for not taking his word for this, and for seeing in it little more than an expression of heterosexual self-congratulation.

The epistemological problem with such propositions is that they provide no common purchase for people of diverse standpoints to discuss public policy. If anything, they excuse the proposer from engaging real-world evidence on marriage and family policy or assessing the equality claims of sexual minorities. This way of talking does not serve “the purpose of public debate” very well, which is why I’m glad the debate generally doesn’t sound like Farrow’s list.

My own way of talking approaches marriage as a social institution, not a Platonic form. Marriage is not infinitely malleable, for sure, but it is also not reducible to one perfect idea. It serves multiple ends and constituencies, and its strength comes from being a hybrid of legal and social, secular and religious, public and private. Attempting to reduce it to a single defining purpose (e.g., male-female, one-flesh union) or constituency (e.g., children) makes it weaker, not stronger, by narrowing its base and its meaning. Insisting that it cannot fundamentally change as the world changes likewise weakens it, by making it brittle or irrelevant or both.

To those epistemological and substantive complaints, I’m sad to add a moral one by noting that Farrow has written homosexuals out of his moral universe. Any sexual expression of love between me and my life partner (now husband), Michael, is mere fornication that should be socially discouraged? Does Farrow have any idea how much gay people have suffered from “social discouragement”? (And, no, there is no “respectful” way to do it.) How much stigma and torment our love has borne? I wish I could help him and others who talk this way to see why, to a gay American in 2012, their approach seems not only unpersuasive but also callous.

Jonathan Rauch is a contributing editor for National Journal and the Atlantic , a guest scholar at the Brookings Institution, and a vice president of the Independent Gay Forum.

By Paige Hochschild

D ouglas Farrow’s theses constitute a defense of marriage as an institution that orders persons to the common good, arising from the natural differences of male and female, the complementarity of which is crucial for the fulfillment of the individual’s good. Sexual difference, he claims, and not inclination or desire, is foundational for the “existence and well-being of the human race.”

Some argue for gay marriage as a fundamental political and moral right by essentializing sexual desire, making it the dominant factor determining a person’s being and well-being. The concept of fulfillment intrinsic to that view is not easily integrated with a concept such as the “public good.” Conservative defenders of gay marriage like Jonathan Rauch observe the personal and social stability that comes with legalizing gay relationships.

However, it is not clear how essential sex is to these relationships, now that it serves chiefly to align political identities. The sense of “public good” at work in this conception is at best the laudable, but surely inadequate, coincidence of the romantic fulfillment of many individuals. This essentializing of sexual desire oversimplifies human persons and their proper end, and excludes the possibility that complementarity reveals something basically human.

Catholic thinkers are almost as guilty of essentializing sexual desire when they fail to reject the deep current in the tradition that sees women primarily in terms of sexual utility. As a consequence, sexual complementarity is either distorted or over-simplified. Catholic “New Feminism,” with deep foundations in late-twentieth-century theology, defends the reality of sexual difference, and this is good. But the complementary relation between male and female is explained by layers of metaphor planted in the ground of the essential desire of the woman for her man.

Where should we locate sexual difference in the human person, philosophically speaking? The Catholic philosopher John M. Rist, in his recent book What Is Truth? , summarizes two narratives dominant in the tradition. One locates sex difference in the body and not the soul, giving rise to a dualist ascetical theology; the other locates sex difference in the soul-body composite precisely because of the deep, natural unity of body and soul.

St. Thomas Aquinas prefers the latter, more Aristotelian picture. He therefore says we must look at woman in two ways: in herself (as a spiritual being, made for God) and in relation to man (as a biological entity made for man, in a way that man is not made for her, for the purpose of reproduction).

The “two ways of looking” at woman opens the possibility of real tension between an earthly and a supernatural vocation. For Rist, the more Thomistic narrative is clearly preferable because it allows sexual difference to be more than merely bodily. But he doubts the usefulness of either traditional narrative, given that the worldly ordering of woman to man for the sake of sexual utility is elaborated with reference to her relative weakness, her moral inferiority, her tendency to be ruled by the emotions (thus tending more easily to vice), and above all, her relative passivity.

“New Feminism” avoids the problem by taking the metaphysical language of the tradition—supposing it to be a clear exposition of the biblical complementarity of Christ and the Church—and giving the terms new meanings. Woman is raised up, like Christ himself, precisely in her passivity and receptivity to the Father. What is weakness is, through Christ, moral superiority, even “genius.” Woman becomes, in relation to man, an icon and example of real Christian loving.

We must do good theological anthropology, speaking meaningfully of complementarity in defense of the good of heterosexual marriage. But this must be done with philosophical care and honest examination of the tradition. This will then provide us with a language that allows us to reflect more realistically, more pastorally, on married life.

Paige Hochschild is assistant professor of theology at Mount St. Mary’s University.

By Russell D. Moore

I agree with virtually everything in this fine manifesto, but I would like to amend my “amen” with an “and yet.” Douglas Farrow is certainly right to ground a vision of human sexuality in the created order and to distinguish between the means of human flourishing and individual human desires or orientations. He also is correct to argue that marriage, and the sexual difference on which it is built, is grounded in a natural order bearing rights and responsibilities the state should recognize but does not bestow and thus cannot redefine.

My “and yet” comes with the theses’ limitation to the natural order. I do not, make no mistake, object to natural-law reasoning or argumentation. There is, in C. S. Lewis’ words, a “Tao” recognizable by every person. Indeed, the Holy Scriptures themselves maintain that there are things that we, in J. Budziszewski’s words, “can’t not know.” In his first letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes that “nature itself” teaches certain aspects of sexual differentiation. Moreover, Farrow is right that there is a public good involved in recognizing the dignity of marriage, one that gives, as he puts it, “public relevance” to these arguments regardless of whether one agrees with any claim to revelation.

The theses themselves aren’t limited to merely natural goods, but point to God. In this, Farrow is obviously not using “God” as a generic metaphor for “the Ultimate” but is speaking of a personal Creator who is to be “enjoyed” and through whom enjoyment of others is possible. This being the case, I would want to add to Farrow’s theses a distinctively Christian urgency for why the Christian Church must bear witness to these things.

Christoph Cardinal Schönborn, in his recent work on the dignity of humanity, Man, the Image of God , notes that one of the statements from Vatican II most often quoted by Pope Benedict XVI is this: “It is only in the mystery of the Word made flesh that the mystery of man becomes clear.” This is certainly true when it comes to marriage and sexuality. The Torah and Jesus himself ground sexual and marital fidelity in the creation design.

But, in the unveiling of the gospel mystery, the apostles then reveal precisely why this design is so cosmically crucial. The one-flesh union of marriage is patterned after an archetype, that of Christ and his church. A disruption of the marital design harms human flourishing, to be sure, but also defaces the icon of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Our neighbors of no religion and of different religions need not respond, of course, to a call to gospel mystery. We can present to them a case, on their own terms, as to why jettisoning normative marriage is harmful. But it seems to me that we harm the cause of public debate and reason if we do not attend to what’s at stake in Christian theology itself as we do so.

We speak publicly of healthy marriages because we love our neighbors and seek their well-being. But we must recognize that at stake is also the very mystery that defines our existence as a church: the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Russell D. Moore is the dean of the School of Theology and professor of Christian theology and ethics at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

By Sherman Jackson

D ouglas Farrow’s “Thirteen Theses” presented me with a dilemma of sorts. This was created not so much by any moral ambiguity in his professions per se (though some inspired less certainty than others) but by two features of my own interpretive hardwiring as a Muslim.

The first relates to a certain vigilance vis- -vis any statement that purports to be normative: Is it a statement of fact, morality, or politics? Is “the faithful marriage of man and woman provides the only context in which that [sexual] intimacy can be properly realized and fully expressed” a statement of fact? Or is it a moral claim? Or is it a political platform instructing us on what types of relationships the state should tolerate?

As a statement of fact, I doubt this can be empirically substantiated. I agree, however, as a matter of moral conviction, that marriage is the only context in which sexual intimacy should be enjoyed, and I believe that marriage itself is incapable of legitimating all sexual arrangements. Yet I disagree that the state should refuse to tolerate intimacy expressed through any medium other than monogamous, heterosexual marriage. In Islam, non-Muslims (and, indeed, Muslims) have a qualified “right” to act “immorally.” Similarly, and with appropriate qualification, our liberal democratic American state is supposed to have no morality of its own that it can invoke above and beyond the so-called will of the people.

The second feature of my interpretive hardwiring relates to theology and its ongoing tango with liberalism. Crudely stated, do the dictates of right reason always reflect the concrete will of God? Or is God possessed of “character” and a “sovereign freedom” by virtue of which God might prefer the a-reasonable or less reasonable to the supremely reasonable? When Farrow speaks, for example, of “the public good,” are the dictates of reason so exclusive and univocal that we could not imagine equally reasonable means of serving this interest? Might not less rational or even a-rational arrangements prove equally God-pleasing, or at least capable of averting divine dissatisfaction?

Reason—and, if I understand Farrow correctly, perhaps I should say Rawlsian reason—may demand a public maximum (i.e., that we be most reasonable in our public justifications) while allowing a private minimum (i.e., that we may be as unreasonable as we like in our private preferences). But does religion necessarily proceed on the same calculus? If so, how is it to aid us in reconciling our morally frail, religiously minimalist, private selves with the maximalist moral dictates of a society committed to the supremely rational?

I do not wish to be misunderstood here. It was the rule rather than the exception that I found myself in agreement with Farrow’s assertions (especially theses eleven and thirteen). But I remain hesitant about the implications of giving them full assent as universally valid norms to be uniformly applied to everyone. Ultimately, I suspect, there is no universal morality that all of us will recognize as such, and it is only the legal monism of the modern state that compels us to look for such. I, for one, welcome the day when we are secure enough to abandon this search and open ourselves to the possibility of political structures that can accommodate multiple communal claims to absolute moral truth.

Sherman Jackson is King Faisal Chair of Islamic Thought and Culture at the University of Southern California.

A s a card-carrying member of the secular right, my response to these thirteen theses is necessarily mixed. Given my lack of faith, the key question is whether religious and non-religious supporters of traditional institutions like marriage can find common ground or, indeed, whether there is any coherent non-faith-based case to be made for social conservatism.

These theses suggest a few key features that secular and religious supporters of traditional values share. First is the assumption that man is by nature fallen. Second is an understanding that each living person must sacrifice for the sake of future generations. For the secular traditionalist, man is inherently weak and imperfect. Although capable of high ideals and a transcendent vision, he is sometimes destined to fall short. For the Christian, man is inherently sinful. For both sensibilities, perfection is unattainable, man’s reach will exceed his grasp, and utopia can never be achieved on earth. However idyllic the conditions, evil is lurking.

The question is: What kind of society will bring us closer to the good? Traditionalists of all stripes, I think, believe that clear, coherent, bright-line rules work best. For the religious, commands for living come from God. For non-believers, longstanding practices that have stood the test of time deserve deference. This is especially so in the areas of sexuality, reproduction, and family life, where temptations are strong and our tendency to pursue our desires at others’ expense ever-present. The distinguished British conservative jurist, Lord Patrick Devlin, said that fornication should be regarded as a natural weakness that can never be rooted out, but must be kept within bounds. Devlin knew that sin would never be eliminated. But he also understood that a clear statement of expectations, and common standards of respectable conduct, would help minimize occasions for sin. Categorical precepts best guide our behavior, and thus keep transgression within bounds.

On this view, moral absolutes are necessary and desirable, regardless of whether and when they are broken. Although habitual flouting can weaken rules, the hope is that bad habits never get out of hand. The critical objective is to prevent a lapse from becoming a way of life. Clear commands accomplish this more effectively than the vague precepts of moral individualism.

This vision stands in contrast to the more enlightened position that regular violations argue for doing away with the rule or at least qualifying it significantly. On this view, a rule is only as good as the number of people who keep it, and hypocrisy (espousing a precept while flouting it oneself) is ridiculous and morally bankrupt. Violators forfeit the right to endorse moral rules or impose them on others. On this conception, goodness is achieved not by aspiring to an unattainable ideal but by creating social conditions that remove all occasion for sin. This position secular and religious traditionalists know to be fantastic. Social reform can never eliminate transgression, and sin will always be with us.

What about our vision of the future? Our society is now awash in presentism, evinced by our celebration of a form of marriage that is intrinsically sterile, our diminishing willingness to bear and raise children, and the wanton irresponsibility of reckless entitlement spending and debt.

These trends are antithetical to the traditionalist view, whether secular or religious, which sees present generations as stewards of the future. The covenant between the born and unborn grows weaker, and our sense of responsibility toward lives not yet lived is fading. The principles embodied in these thirteen theses seek to hold back that tide.

Amy Wax is the Robert Mundheim Professor of Law at the University of Pennsylvania.

By Paul Griffiths

I agree with Douglas Farrow’s first two theses—that homo sapiens is a sexually dimorphic species and so characterized more by differences between male and female than by variation—but with the qualification that these sound like empirical claims, and it is perfectly conceivable that advances in reproductive technology might make sexual dimorphism and difference irrelevant. Better, then, to frame these theses in ?the subjunctive.

I agree without reservation to theses three through five, and I also agree with thesis six (“Consideration of these goods ought to respect the conjugal nature and reproductive potential of the most fundamental sexual act”) but with worries about what “most fundamental” means, and unclarity about what “conjugal nature and reproductive potential” means. Human sexual desire exceeds, radically, interest in and concern for the reproductive, as is evident from the Christian understanding of it as participatory in Christ’s love for the Church, and as is also evident from any superficial study of its phenomenology. It includes, and properly so, interest in receiving oneself as lover by being loved. Hyper-concern with the reproductive runs the serious risk of occluding this. Perhaps “conjugal nature” covers this very large territory, but it’s not clear that it does.

I rejoin Farrow for theses seven through nine, but have a serious reservation about thesis ten. Here he argues that “the faithful marriage of man and woman provides the only context in which [human sexuality] can be properly realized and fully expressed.”

This thesis needs to acknowledge that there are or may be many partial expressions of the goods proper to human sexuality outside the faithful marriage of man and woman and that sexual expression within the context of marriage may be deeply damaged and profoundly improper, up to and including rape and other forms of sexual violence. Not to acknowledge these truths risks a theologically inadequate optimism about sex within marriage, along with a blind denial of sexual goods outside marriage.

I part again from Farrow on the last clause of thesis eleven, in which he states that the political community is obligated to offer its support to marriage. There is, perhaps, in the order of being such an obligation, but it is certainly not apparent to all ordinarily rational people.

Farrow assumes here, and in theses twelve and thirteen, that the views expressed in the first eleven theses are sufficiently evident to the ordinarily rational person today. Yet ours is a pagan late-capitalist democracy ordered to idolatry of the market, and so there is little hope that Farrow’s Christian propositions can be appealed to in support of public-policy positions opposing, say, homosexual marriage.

In such a situation, the claims of twelve and thirteen seem to many arbitrary and ungrounded—much as their contradictories probably seem to Farrow. This has nothing to do with truth; it has to do with what it is prudent and possible to advocate in our situation. To say what twelve and thirteen say to the pagans of our time is to act like the monoglot Englishman traveling abroad who, when faced with incomprehension by the locals, speaks English louder. It doesn’t help. This won’t help, either. It makes the Church look ridiculous.

So I suggest the following thesis: It is time for the Church to treat North American positive law about the contractual form called marriage—a contract dissolvable at the will of either partner—as it already treats North American positive law about the availability of contraception: that is, as something to be tolerated, identified with clarity for what it is, and a golden opportunity for clarifying the truth to the faithful.

Paul Griffiths is Warren Chair of ?Catholic Theology at Duke Divinity School.

By David Blankenhorn

W ith admirable clarity, these theses adumbrate the orthodox Christian, and particularly Catholic, understanding of the goods of sexuality and marriage. They combine natural-law reasoning and theological claims; fully appreciating them likely requires both the cardinal and theological virtues. In my view, their primary utility will be further to educate and motivate those who already in essence agree with them.

But are these formulations likely to encourage skeptics to rethink old positions? I doubt it. Douglas Farrow’s theses both reflect and presuppose a comprehensive system of thought: a philosophy in which all values are rank-ordered and fit seamlessly together, producing a worldview in which each aspect reinforces all others and that is finally at least largely impervious to empirical challenge. Such a comprehensive system of thought does not really invite or even permit the outsider to tinker with it, or to pull out one piece only for closer inspection, or to conclude, “Yes to this, but no to that, please.”

Of course, I bring my own biases to the table. I am a philosophical liberal, a marriage nut, and a wobbly, mostly wannabe, Christian. I agree virtually without reservation with Farrow on theses one, two, four, six, nine, eleven, and twelve. For the others, I have considerable respect and at least some sympathy—but somewhere along the winding trail from natural law to theological doctrine, he and I part company (though I’d happily tag along as what the Communists used to call a fellow traveler, if he’d tolerate the company).

I agree that arguments contrary to Farrow’s “have no greater prima facie claim to public consideration” than do his. But so what? That formally correct fact won’t matter much, so long as Farrow does not adequately trouble himself to translate his particular religious arguments into general public arguments.

An example of a religious argument in favor of Sunday closing laws is “God commands us to honor the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.” An example of translating that belief into a public argument is “Observing the Sabbath is important enough to people of faith to outweigh the objections of some unbelievers.” Substantively, in terms of the practical policy question at hand, the two formulations are nearly identical. But in terms of effective communication in the public square, the second one is better. It’s better because the first formulation is accessible only to believers and does not acknowledge values pluralism, whereas the second is accessible to all persons and acknowledges values pluralism.

Today’s marriage debate is almost entirely about values in conflict, not values in harmony. No one can effectively join that debate without confronting this fact. But Farrow’s propositions sidestep the challenge almost entirely, offering us less a transparent argument than a set of interlocking definitions. The critical mass of skeptics, seekers, and the undecided have little access to this type of presentation. We should not be surprised or disappointed when their main response is “Huh?”

David Blankenhorn is president of the Institute for American Values and author of The Future of Marriage .

By Eve Tushnet

D ouglas Farrow’s “Thirteen Theses” speak of sexual and public morality on the most universal level possible. This may account for a certain antiseptic sting to his words. While we are all called first to relationship with God, and then to a particular vocation, we’re not called as generic-human. We’re called by name. You can tell people that their way of life is wrong, that it’s unsustainable, that it’s damaging, and, even if they agree with you, they will not be able to change if they can’t imagine a different way of life. We are currently suffering from a profound failure of imagination. We do not lack lists of rules. We lack a belief that we can live by these rules without losing the love and care for one another that help us lead fully human lives. Farrow gives us bright black-and-white lines, but they’re lines painted on a deserted highway.

For me, as a lesbian Catholic with no discernible call to monastic life, the absence within the Christian churches of a deep understanding of the human need for vocation is glaringly obvious. Too many gay Christians grow up learning that there’s simply a blank space where God’s vision for their future should be. There’s a list of do-nots and a free-floating sense of shameful disorder, but no image of a path in life on which God might call and lead them. But this void in our culture damages everyone.

Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, in their recent book Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think About Marrying , describe what’s been called the “Second Demographic Transition”: low fertility, plummeting marriage rates, and an increasing percentage of children born out of wedlock. The winners from a secular perspective—mainly the rich and well-educated, who are more likely to marry and to practice a religion—choose their own adventure, reaping the benefits of freedom and mobility. The losers get lost, drifting without familial support. In this world, no one is called to a life of sacrifice; they either choose the life they want and claim it, or long for it and never find it. The purpose and meaning of one’s life in both cases is generated by the individual rather than coming as a call from God.

So here are a few initial theses of my own, on the vocations crisis which has spurred Farrow to write his theses.

A vocation is a call to pour out your life in loving service. Everyone has a vocation in this sense. Some are called to pour out that love directly to God. Most of us, not being hermits, also are called to love and serve others: a parish priest his parishioners, a cloistered nun her community, a wife her husband, a father his children. Beyond these perhaps-obvious vocations, there are vocations to serve those in need, to serve one’s friends with the depth of love Christ showed to his own friends, to care for aging parents, perhaps even an artistic vocation to serve God and one’s audience by presenting beauty and sublimity.

What isn’t in this framework, by the way, is the solution some Christians have suggested for the problem of late-onset marriage: a “vocation to singleness.” Vocation, as I understand it, is the rope tying people to God and one another. A “vocation to singleness” is a rope tied only on one end.

Each vocation has its own characteristic loneliness—a crown of thorns as well as a crown of stars. Loneliness is an intrinsic element of marriage. It’s intrinsic to the life of a religious community. For me, there’s the difficulty and unaccountability of living alone and the poignance of watching my friends marry. None of these lonelinesses are signs of failure as long as you are still willing to extend yourself in love toward God and others.

The fear and loneliness of love can be borne more easily when our vocations are publicly acknowledged and honored. When people feel that their sacrifices are ignored or mocked, it’s much harder to continue. Over the past century, marriage, priesthood and religious life, and friendship have all lost a great deal of societal honor. The sacrifices are just as necessary as they always were. If we want people to make them, though, we need to honor them.

Eve Tushnet is a freelance writer whose ?work has appeared in Commonweal , National Review,  and the Washington Blade .

By Thomas Joseph White

W here should we locate the deepest core of the contemporary crisis in marriage? The fundamental problem is found not in the realm of the political, or even in peoples’ sexual practices. Throughout history, conventional sexual practices have very often failed to live up to objective moral norms. This issue today, rather, has to do with speculative reason, which concerns the structure of reality and the order of truth as such.

The problem in contemporary culture is that a large proportion of society is increasingly blind to the fundamental structure of human nature and to the ethical character of human sexuality. In fact, the prevalent vision of sexuality peddled is primarily aesthetic. Sexual experiences are something like listening to one’s favorite songs or taking trips to the art gallery. The only remaining ethical norm is one of procedural liberalism. All is permitted as long as no one gets hurt and everything is consensual.

What Douglas Farrow’s thirteen theses indicate (suggesting thereby a more developed argument) is that this is too thin a notion of ethics to sustain a healthy ethos of marriage and, over time, a functional culture. For human beings come from and are loved and educated in the human heterosexual family. Is that a bigoted or sectarian claim? In fact, Farrow’s list of fundamental truths points eloquently to the basic ontological foundations for human reproduction and the ethical education of children in society, and from these he reasonably draws a normative social claim: Heterosexual marriage open to the transmission of life is the morally normative context of human sexuality.

This view stems from natural realism: There is a unity between human sexuality and reproduction. The purposeful choice to sever that unity is always morally problematic. It has negative consequences for the moral character and ethical development of individuals, families, and societies, necessarily and inevitably. Over time, the separation of the unitive and procreative dimensions of sexuality leads to the progressive rise of the “nightmare menu”: on one side, ways to reproduce without recourse to sexuality (screening to selectively reduce the inconvenient), and on the other, ways to seek sexual union without reproduction, altering socially and legally our definitions of sexuality and marriage.

The root of the problem is contraception. Contraception itself is a practice, but its deeper effect is found in the order of speculative reason and the perception of truth itself. The contraceptive culture renders obscure our very understanding of the nature of human sexuality in its biological, ethical, and inevitably political dimensions. This affirmation may seem too “philosophical” and therefore inopportune to us politically. Both the left and the right want to find a form of discourse free from much theoretical reasoning about human nature. That is naïve. Politics is short-sighted, and any lasting victory for an ethical form of society requires that we nurture and develop theoretical insight into the foundations of human nature and ethics.

Farrow is pointing us to insights that can be further developed by argument and illustration. Such is the kind of reasoning that needs to be advanced in the public square: not an argument from sectarian exceptionalism or the unique privileges of a private religious conscience, but arguments from the inalterable structure of things. Christians can rightly speak in this case of natural-law theory, but we should also speak without shame of biblical revelation. The two overlap: Biblical revelation comes to the aid of fallen, ailing human reason and helps orient and elevate it. As a culture turns away from Judeo-Christian revelation, public reason is impoverished, not improved.

Farrow’s style has a touch of the Barthian about it, with something of the rhetorical flavor of the Barmen Declaration. But his reasoning stands to correct the deficits of an isolationist fideism. We need to make public arguments that touch directly upon the truth about human nature as available to human reason. That is itself a corrective to the effects of sin, and it can be a form of argument derived from and subject to the work of the grace of God.

Pope Paul VI called the Church “expert in humanity” when it came to underscoring the dignity of the human person in the modern world. We would do well to consult the Church’s teaching anew if we would seek to reclaim today an authentic humana vita .

Thomas Joseph White, O.P., is director of the Thomistic Institute at the Dominican House of Studies in Washington, D.C

Image by Drazen Nesic via Creative Commons . Image cropped.

Articles by Douglas Farrow

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Home > Family, Home, and Social Sciences > Family Life > Marriage and Family Therapy > Theses and Dissertations

Marriage and Family Therapy Theses and Dissertations

Theses/dissertations from 2019 2019.

Attachment and Relationship Quality: A Longitudinal Cross-Lagged Panel Model Examining the Association of Attachment Styles and Relationship Quality in Married Couples , Meagan Cahoon Alder

Coding Rupture Indicators in Couple Therapy (CRICT): An Observational Coding Scheme , AnnaLisa Ward Carr

We Shall Overcome: The Association Between Family of Origin Adversity, Coming to Terms, and Relationship Quality for African Americans , Kylee Marshall

Sri Lankan Widows' Mental Health: Does Type of Spousal Loss Matter? , Katrina Nicole Nelson

The Role of the Autonomic Nervous System in the Relationship Between Emotion Regulation and Conflict Tactics in Couples , Natalie Gold Orr

A Content Analysis of Ethnic Minorities in the Professional Discipline of Clinical Psychology , Pedro L. Perez Aquino

Sleep, Stress, and Sweat: Implications for Client Physiology Prior to Couple Therapy , Christina Michelle Rosa

Theses/Dissertations from 2018 2018

A Content Analysis of the Journal of Adolescent Health: Using Past Literature to Guide Healthcare Research of US Ethnic Minority Adolescents , Kate Amanda Handy

Stress of Trying Daily Therapy Interventions , Emily Kathryn Hansen

U.S. Racial/Ethnic/Cultural Groups in Counseling Psychology Literature: A Content Analysis , Jared Mark Hawkins

Can Attachment Behaviors Moderate the Influence of Conflict Styles on Relationship Quality? , Cameron W. Hee

Therapist Behaviors That Predict the Therapeutic Alliance in Couple Therapy , Bryan C. Kubricht

Insider Perspectives of Mate Selection in Modern Chinese Society , Szu-Yu Lin

The Development of a Reliable Change Index and Cutoff for the SCORE-15 , Cara Ann Nebeker Adams

Difference in Therapeutic Alliance: High-Conflict Co-Parents vs Regular Couples , Andrea Mae Parady

Effects of Exercise on Clinical Couple Interactions , Samantha Karma-Jean Simpson

The Effect of Common Factor Therapist Behaviors on Change in Marital Satisfaction , Li Ping Su

Theses/Dissertations from 2017 2017

Physiological Attunement and Influence in Couples Therapy: Examining the Roots of Therapeutic Presence , Julia Campbell Bernards

Youth Disclosure: Examining Measurement Invariance Across Time and Reporter , Robb E. Clawson

A Pilot Study Examining the Role of Treatment Type and Gender in Cortisol Functioning , Stephanie Young Davis

Longitudinal Relations Between Interparental Conflict and Adolescent Self-Regulation: The Moderating Role of Attachment to Parents , Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen

Cost Outcomes for Major Depressive Disorder and Bipolar Disorder Across Professional License Types and Modalities , Julia H. Jones

The Relationship Between Relational Aggression and Sexual Satisfaction: Investigating the Mediating Role of Attachment Behaviors , Melece Vida Meservy

The Effects of Family Stressors on Depression in Latino Adolescents as Mediated by Interparental Conflict , Jenny Carolina Mondragon

A Longitudinal Examination of Parental Psychological Control and Externalizing Behavior in Adolescents with Adolescent Internalized Shame as a Mediating Variable , Iesha Renee Nuttall

Multiculturalism and Social Work: A Content Analysis of the Past 25 Years of Research , Lauren Christine Smithee

Implicit Family Process Rules Specific to Eating-Disordered Families , Mallory Rebecca Wolfgramm

The Impact of Timing of Pornography Exposure on Mental Health, Life Satisfaction, and Sexual Behavior , Bonnie Young

Theses/Dissertations from 2016 2016

The Relationship Between the Poor Parenting in Childhood and Current Adult Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression: Attachment as a Mediator , Kayla Lynn Burningham

Longitudinal Examination of Observed Family Hostility and Adolescent Anxiety and Depression as Mediated by Adolescent Perspective Taking and Empathic Concern , Trevor Dennis Dahle

The Influence of Client General Anxiety and Attachment Anxiety onAlliance Development in Couple Therapy , Erica Leigh Delgado

U.S. Ethnic Groups in the Journal of Family Psychology : A Content Analysis , Jessica Croft Gilliland

Passion and Sexuality in Committed Relationships , Emilie Iliff

Does Self-Esteem Mediate the Effect of Attachment on Relationship Quality , Alexis Lee

A Content Analysis and Status Report of Adolescent Development Journals: How Are We Doing in terms of Ethnicity and Diversity? , Jason Bernard Lefrandt

The Effect of Marital Therapy on Physical Affection , Tiffany Ann Migdat

Predicting Externalizing Behaviors in Latino Adolescents Using Parenting and EducationalFactors , Sergio Benjamin Pereyra

Pathways to Marriage: Relationship History and Emotional Health as Individual Predictors of Romantic Relationship Formation , Garret Tyler Roundy

Examining the Link Between Exercise and Marital Arguments in Clinical Couples , Bailey Alexandra Selland

Cost-Effectiveness of Psychotherapy and Dementia: A Comparison by Treatment Modality and Healthcare Provider , Megan Ruth Story

Childhood Abuse Types and Adult Relational Violence Mediated by Adult Attachment Behaviors and Romantic Relational Aggression in Couples , Tabitha Nicole Webster

Theses/Dissertations from 2015 2015

The Effects of Marital Attachment and Family-of-Origin Stressors on Body Mass Index , Merle Natasha Bates

Shame, Relational Aggression, and Sexual Satisfaction: A Longitudinal Study , Austin Ray Beck

Parent and Adolescent Attachment and Adolescent Shame and Hope with Psychological Control as a Mediator , Natasha K. Bell

The Relationship Among Male Pornography Use, Attachment, and Aggression in Romantic Relationships , Andrew P. Brown

The Moderating Effect of Attachment Behaviors on the Association Between Video Game Use, Time Together as a Problem, and Relationship Quality , Stella Christine Dobry

Attachment Behaviors as a Moderator of the Relationship Between Disapproval and Relationship Satisfaction , Lauren Drean

Effects of Interparental Conflict on Taiwanese Adolescents’ Depression and Externalizing Problem Behavior: A Longitudinal Study , Chih Han Hsieh

The Cost Effectiveness of Psychotherapy for Treating Adults with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder , Micah LaVar Ingalls

Effects of Positive and Negative Events on Daily Relationship Effect for Clinical Couples: A Daily Diary Study , Kayla Dawn Mennenga

A Longitudinal Study of Therapist Emotion Focused Therapy Interventions Predicting In-Session Positive Couple Behavior , Josh Novak

Facilitative Implicit Rules and Adolescent Emotional Regulation , Lexie Y. Pfeifer

Avoidant Parental and Self Conflict-Resolution Styles and Marital Relationship Self-Regulation: Do Perceived Partner Attachment BehaviorsPlay a Moderating Role? , Erin L. Rackham

Individual Personality and Emotional Readiness Characteristics Associated with Marriage Preparation Outcomes of Perceived Helpfulness and Change , Megan Ann Rogers

Interactions Between Race, Gender, and Income in Relationship Education Outcomes , Andrew K. Thompson

Theses/Dissertations from 2014 2014

Partner Attachment and the Parental Alliance , Ashley B. Bell

A Glimmer of Hope? Assessing Hope as a Moderator of the Relationship Between Parenting and Adolescent Depressive Symptoms , Lisa D. Bishop

Father Influence on Adolescent Sexual Debut , Daniel Joseph Blocker

Stable Conflict Resolution Styles and Commitment: Their Roles in Marital Relationship Self-Regulation , Rebecca Suzanne Boyd

Me, You, and Porn: A Common-Fate Analysis of Pornography Use and Sexual Satisfaction Among Married Couples , Cameron C. Brown

The Relationship Between Partner Perceptions of Marital Power and Sexual Satisfaction as Mediated by Observed Hostile Interaction , Amanda Claire Christenson

The Impact of Parentification on Depression Moderated by Self-Care: A Multiple Group Analysis by Gender for South Korea and the U.S. , Sunnie Giles

Romantic Relational Aggression in Parents and Adolescent Child Outcomes , Jennifer Nicole Hawkley

Cost-Effectiveness of Treating Oppositional Defiant Disorder: A Comparison by Treatment Modality and Mental Health Provider Type , Julie Denise Malloy

Constructive vs. Destructive Anger: A Model and Three Pathways for the Expression of Anger , Kierea Chanelle Meloy

Treatment Outcomes for Mood Disorders with Concurrent Partner Relational Distress: A Comparison by Treatment Modality and Profession , Holly Pack

Cost Effectiveness of Treating Generalized Anxiety Disorder in Adolescence: A Comparison by Provider Type and Therapy Modality , Kathryn Evelyn Reynolds

Commitment, Forgiveness, and Relationship Self-Regulation: An Actor-Partner Interdependence Model , Heather Michele Smith

A Comparison of Contemporary Filial Piety in Rural and Non-Rural China and Taiwan , Li Ping Su

A Dyadic Analysis of Couple Attachment Behaviors as Predictors of Dietary Habits and Physical Activity Levels , Stephanie Young

Theses/Dissertations from 2013 2013

Cost-Effectiveness of Treating Pervasive Developmental Disorders: A Comparison by Treatment Modality , Jaime Elizabeth Ballard

Couples' Experience of Attachment-Related Change in Context of Couple-Centered, Enactment-Based Therapy Process and Therapist-Centered Therapy Process: A Qualitative Study , James Waid Ballard

Links between High Economic Distress and School Engagement as Mediated through Negative Marital Interaction and Parental Involvement , Lauren Alyssa Bone Barnes

The Relationship Between Frequency of Incest and Relational Outcomes with Family-of-Origin Characteristics as a Potential Moderating Variable , Kathleen Diane Baxter

Parental Involvement, Parent-Child Warmth and School Engagement as Mediated by Self-Regulation , Jeffrey James Bentley

The Effect of Attachment on the Therapeutic Alliance in Couples Therapy , Shawn A. Bills

Intrinsic Religiosity and Adolescent Depression and Anxiety: The Mediating Role of Components of Self-Regulation , Brent Charles Black

The Relationship Between Romantic Relationship Initiation Processes of Single LDS Emerging Adults and Change in Attachment Working Models with Implications for Practice , Matthew Lloyd Call

Attachment and Covert Relational Aggression in Marriagewith Shame as a Potential Moderating Variable: A Two Wave Panel Study , Charity Elaine Clifford

Family Implicit Rules, Shame, and Adolescent Prosocial and Antisocial Behaviors , Jeffrey Paul Crane

Infidelity and Forgiveness: Therapists' Views on Reconciliation and Restoration of Trust Following Disclosure of Infidelity , Miranda Mae Goldie

Power of Shame: The Moderating Effects of Parental and Peer Connection on the Relationship Between Adolescent Shame and Depression, Self-Esteem, and Hope , Alexander L. Hsieh

Couple Attachment and Sexual Desire Discrepancy: A Longitudinal Study of Non-Clinical Married Couples at Mid-Life , Anthony Allen Hughes

Factors Relating to Romantic Relationship Experiences for Emerging Adults , Sabra Elyse Johnson

Attachment Behaviors as Mediators Between Family-of-Origin Quality and Couple Communication Quality in Marriage: Implications for Couples Therapy , Darin Justin Knapp

Division of Labor and Marital Satisfaction in China and Taiwan , Bryan C. Kubricht

Stability and Change in Women's Personality Across the Life Course , Carly D. LeBaron

The Cost Effectiveness of Collaborative Mental Health Services In Outpatient Psychotherapy Care , Ashley Ann Maag

The Relationship Between Insecure Attachment and Premarital Sexual Timing , Carly Ostler

A Longitudinal View of the Association Between Therapist Behaviors and Couples' In-Session Process: An Observational Pilot Study of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy , Lori Kay Schade

Conflict Resolution Styles as Mediators of Female Childhood Sexual Abuse Experience and Couple Relationship Satisfaction and Stability in Adulthood , Ashlee Elizabeth Sloan

The Relationship Between Video Game Use and Couple Attachment Behaviors in Committed Romantic Relationships , Jamie McClellan Smith

Psychological Control, Parental Support, Adolescent Grades and School Engagement , David Brian Thompson

Shame Not the Same for Different Styles of Blame: Shame as a Mediating Variable for Severity of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Trauma Symptoms in Three Attribution of Blame Groups , Tabitha Nicole Webster

Theses/Dissertations from 2012 2012

The Mediating Influence of Child Self-Regulation on the Relationship Between Couple Attachment Security in Parents and Anxiety in Their Children , David P. Adamusko

Couple Communication as a Mediator Between Work-Family Conflict and Marital Satisfaction , Sarah J. Carroll

The Role of Trait Forgiveness in Moderating the Relationship between Materialism and Relationship Instability in Couples , Lance J. Dome

Relationship Between Observed Parental Optimism and Adolescent Optimism with Parental Involvement as a Mediating Variable: Two Wave Panel Study , Allison Ellsworth

Mental Health Treatment for Children and Adolescents: Cost Effectiveness, Dropout, and Recidivism by Presenting Diagnosis and Therapy Modality , David Fawcett

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Unhappiness in Love and Marriage in the Fiction of Anton Chekhov

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This paper will examine Chekhov's attitudes toward love and marriage as revealed in his short stories. An attempt will be made to find certain themes which recur frequently and to discover the reasons for their recurrence.

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Knieff, Nancy Jane Shumate August 1968.

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• North Texas State University Place of Publication: Denton, Texas

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• Level: Master's
• Grantor: North Texas State University
• Name: Master of Arts
• Department: Department of English
• Discipline: English
• Anton Chekhov
• unhappiness
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Marriage In The Great Gatsby Essay

Marriage. This word carries a large amount of weight behind it. For better or worse, for sick or poor, and until death do we part. That’s a lot pressure for one word. Mankind was created imperfect. Humans aim to be flawless, but in reality we are flawed beyond compare. As humans we lie, have impulses, act on those impulses, and we are entitled to a few mistakes. The meaning of marriage has changed over the centuries, but the vows people make to each other have managed to stay the same. Throughout the different novels we have read in class, dysfunctional and destructive relationships have been played a large role in the novels themselves.

Most of the relationships in the novels have failed to flourish due to the meaning of marriage in the different time periods. Marriages were based upon social status , a families’ reputation, security, and compensation. For example, The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald. Tom and Daisy Buchanan are the wealthy couple everyone aims to be on the outside. On the inside, they struggle within their marriage, only to discover they both are having affairs with other people. Another example, The Awakening by Kate Chopin also reflects on the reasons some marriages fall apart.

Edna Pontellier and her husband Leonce Pontellier, are in a failing marriage. Why are the Bunchanan’s and the Pontellier’s marriage failing? After time goes by, their marriages begin to crumble under the pressure of fitting into society. Daisy finds new hope in an old flame, Jay Gatsby and acts upon her impulses to rekindle their once passionate love for one another; yet she is terrified of the repercussions she will face from both Tom and society. On the other hand, Edna’s unhappiness occurs because she falls out of love with Leonce. She desires happiness.

She falls in love with Robert, and she is unhappy with her decisions she’s made throughout her life. The outcome of the Bunchanan’s and the Pontellier’s marriages means that both marriage are weak, unfaithful, crippled, and their marriage are becoming physically and mentally dangerous. Daisy Bunchanan played the role of the darling wife of Tom Bunchanan impeccably well. She had the beauty, grace, talent, and class every well brought up woman desired. After falling in love with Jay Gatsby , she realized she wanted more than love in life. Daisy threw her love for Gatsby away in order to fit in with society.

Love in marriage did not coexist for people like Daisy. Marriage was power, who people married and their social class mattered more. Take Daisy for instance, even if she loved Gatsby (or even if she ever did love him, and that is still debatable), divorcing Tom and marrying Gatsby would be a step down for her socially. She did not want to be a scandal in her high standing society. While Daisy toyed with Gatsby’s emotions, Tom was avidly with his mistress Myrtle Wilson. To Tom, Daisy was his prized possession, his jewel in which he owned. He believed he had the right to mistreat her because her last name was now Buchanan.

Where is there love in marriage? Marriage’s definition in the 1800s and 1900s was strict. In most instances, men were the providers, while women catered to their husbands, nursed their children, and cleaned house. Some men looked to their wives as prizes or some trophy they owned. Like Edna, women in marriages felt like symbols or even reflections of their husband’s accomplishments in life. For example, in The Awakening, Kate Chopin wrote, “… looking at his wife as one looks at a valuable piece of personal property which had suffered some damage” (Chopin 4). Edna felt as if she was not her own person anymore.

She felt washed up and broken. The young girl she used to be, wild and free, was now no more than a caged bird . Religion made up most of a couple’s marriage during the 1800s. It was considered an abomination in the eyes of God if adultery was committed by either man or wife. Divorce was also uncommon until the late 1900s because divorce was also viewed wrong and as adultery in the eyes of God. People who committed these crimes were shunned or their reputation was ruined. People felt obligated to stay in unhealthy marriages no matter how unbearable their relationships got due to the harsh repercussions.

Leonce was a Creole, a Catholic man, which caused him to feel obligated to his and Edna’s marriage. He himself did not believe in turning away from God’s word, Hebrew’s 13:4 clarifies, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (King Games Version 13:4). One of the main reasons Leonce stood by his wife was because of his religion. He strongly believed he would pay for divorcing his wife in the after life. During the early 1900s, when the Great Gatsby was wrote, marriage and the church did not coexist as much as it did in the past.

As the roaring 20s came around, people were more focused on seeking wealth along with prosperity rather than focusing on religion. Christianity as well as other religious practices were still practiced, those who did partake in the old way of believing still shammed those who committed adultery and divorce. As the 1900s continued to change, so did women and marriage. Women began wearing shorter, more revealing clothing to seek men’s attention as well as the idea of feminism becoming more common. Divorces also began to become more socially accepted as the world continued to grow.

Still stuck in her increasingly toxic marriage, readers begin to learn that Edna Pontellier is a passionate, rebellious woman. We learn how unsettled she is in her life as the novel continues. Kate Chopin depicts Edna’s thoughts, desires, and actions, well throughout the novel. Edna’s actions are highly inappropriate for a woman of their current rime period. In the novel, Edna has an “awakening” and finds the courage to make the changes she sees necessary to make herself happy. She puts her reputation, marriage, family, and life on the line while she makes these changes for herself.

Not only does she shame her family, she hurts others in the process, such as Robert Lebrun and Alcee Arobin. No one knew of Daisy to be spontaneous before she met with Gatsby again. Before she was the well-mannered, loving wife. Her community was flabbergasted because they had never had a woman act out in such a manor Daisy did. Due to Daisy’s rash actions with Gatsby, she causes death and an uproar in her community. Daisy hit and murdered Myrtle Wilson due to driving too fast. Her reckless actions not only caused Myrtle’s demise, but caused Gatsby’s as well.

After years of being married to Leonce and having two boys, Edna realizes how dissatisfied she is with her life. Her awakening begins when she talks more with Mademoiselle Reisz. She sees how happy her life is without a husband and Edna’s mind begins to wonder back to her days as a young, free woman. Mademoiselle also begins to encourage Edna to go after what she ends up wanting most, Robert. Life as Edna knows it, is suffocating her as she tries so desperately to be the woman she is supposed to be, while trying to grasp what she wants.

Many people did not see the true side of Edna, she was a hopeless romantic, and she yearned for lust along with passion. No one knew Edna because she kept her feelings locked away from the outside world. Like many marriages in the late 1800s, the bachelor and the bachelorette’s money situation was of most importance. Men were disinterested in women who did not come from wealthy or a high class level. Women often married to have finical security. Women without wealthy families were seen as little to no use as a proper wife or future mother. One of many reasons why Edna married Leonce Pontellier was for financial security.

He was well off in the social world as well as the working world. She knew her reputation would have a high standing if he accepted his marriage proposal. After several years of marriage and the showering with gifts, Edna sees how increasingly unsettled she is becoming. In The Awakening, Edna states, “… all declared that Mr. Pontellier was the best husband in the world. Mrs. Pontellier was forced to admit that she knew of none better (Chopin 13). This was the first instance that Edna’s true feelings were raised up. Tom Bunchanan was a young, wealthy bacholer who would suffice as a good provider and a good standing in society.

Any young bachelorette would be considered lucky to marry someone such as Tom. Daisy was attracted to his wealth, she decided to accept his marriage proposal, knowing she would forever have security with money in her marriage. After having to choose between Tom and Gatsby, Daisy chose Tom. It is arguable that Daisy rejected Gatsby due to his arrogance as a newly wealthy individual and the fact that he spend his money rigorously as people with new wealth do. A growing fear of Daisy’s was that Gatsby would waste his entire fortune on useless gifts and the elaborate, even somewhat ridiculous parties he hosted and never attended.

Love was not as important as security in Daisy’s future. Also, another reason why marriages have often failed is because of their families’ reputations. They were not solely based on only the parents, but as well as their offspring’s reputation. Women who did not marry brought shame on their families. Edna decided to rebel from her parents by marrying Leonce. From the beginning, since she was young, she has always rebelled to those closest to her. When Edna was young, she was more worried about her reputation in society rather than finding someone she truly loved.

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Thesis Statement On Love And Marriage

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Nicholas Kristof

The Case for Saying ‘I Do’

By Nicholas Kristof

Opinion Columnist

With little notice, the United States may be crossing a historic milestone in family structure, one that may shape our health, wealth and happiness.

Historically, most American adults were married — more than two-thirds as recently as 1970. But the married share has crept downward , and today only about half of adults are married. Depending on the data source, we may already have entered an epoch in which a majority are not married.

“Our civilization is in the midst of an epochal shift, a shift away from marriage,” Brad Wilcox, a sociologist who directs the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, writes in his new book, “ Get Married .” “In place of marriage, many Americans are remaining single or simply living together without wedding rings. And to be clear, it’s more of the former than the latter.”

Wilcox believes that perhaps a third of today’s young Americans will never marry. As a long-married romantic myself, I find that troubling, but it’s not just soggy sentimentality. Survey data indicates that married couples on average report more happiness, build more wealth, live longer and raise more successful children than single parents or cohabiting couples, though there are plenty of exceptions.

“Fixing what ails America starts with renewing marriage and family life, especially in poor and working-class communities where the fabric of family life is weakest,” Wilcox argues.

He’s up against a counter view that one should dodge family responsibilities, relish freedom and play hard. Many boys and men flock to the online rantings of Andrew Tate , the misogynistic influencer facing human trafficking charges, who has argued, “There is zero advantage to marriage in the Western world for a man.”

Some women have likewise celebrated freeing themselves from an institution that often shackled them to cooking, laundry and second-class status at a cost to their careers. As women have enjoyed more economic opportunities, they’re less often forced to marry some oaf who gets violent after a few drinks — and, anyway, what self-respecting woman with independent means would want to marry, say, a fan of Andrew Tate?

Yet even as marriage has receded, the evidence has grown that while it isn’t for everyone, in many cases it can improve our lives more than we may appreciate.

“Marriage predicts happiness better than education, work and money,” Wilcox writes. For example, survey data indicates that getting a college degree increases the odds of describing oneself as “very happy” by 64 percent. Earning a solid income lifts the odds by 88 percent. Being “very satisfied” with one’s job raises them by 145 percent. And marriage increases the odds of being very happy by 151 percent — while a “very happy” marriage boosts the odds by 545 percent.

I’ve long been interested in family structure for two reasons. First, I believe the left made a historic mistake by demonizing the Moynihan Report, which 59 years ago this month warned about the consequences of family breakdown. Daniel Patrick Moynihan was prescient, for we now know that households headed by single mothers are five times as likely to live in poverty as those with married couples.

Second, loneliness and social isolation are growing problems. One poignant example: Perhaps 100,000 or more dead bodies in America go unclaimed each year, often because there are no loved ones to say farewell. It’s a topic explored in another recent book, “The Unclaimed,” by sociologists Pamela Prickett and Stefan Timmermans.

Marriage doesn’t solve loneliness and social isolation, but it helps. And there is good news on the family front: The divorce rate has dropped to a 50-year low , and the share of children raised in an intact family with married parents has increased slightly in recent years. Today about 51 percent of American kids reach adulthood with the same two parents they started out with.

But it’s also true that the marriage rate has collapsed, particularly for working-class Americans. Of those without a high school diploma, more than two-thirds are unmarried.

Wilcox writes that “the American heart is closing,” but I wouldn’t put it that way. I think many Americans want to marry but don’t feel sufficiently financially stable, or they can’t find the right person.

I’m staggered by the interest in virtual boyfriends and virtual girlfriends. One virtual boyfriend app offers an assortment of possibilities such as “polite and intelligent Edward” or “romantic and cute Daniel.”

“Don’t be shy, he’ll definitely like you,” the app advises. “He knows how to cheer you up, so you won’t feel sad or lonely.”

Just reading that makes me achingly sad. Virtual mates feel like an elegy for civilization.

One reason for the decline in marriage in working-class communities may be a lack of economic opportunity, particularly for men, and another may be culture and changing norms. That’s worth pondering. In polls, majorities of college-educated liberals seem diffident about marriage, unwilling to criticize infidelity and disagreeing with the idea that children do better with two married parents. Perhaps this liberal lack of enthusiasm for marriage also accounts for the marriage penalties built into benefit programs like Medicaid, in turn disincentivizing marriage for low-income Americans.

Wilcox scolds elites for clinging to traditional values themselves — in the sense that they get married and have kids for the most part — even as they are reluctant to endorse marriage for fear of seeming judgmental or intolerant. Elites “talk left but walk right,” he says.

We are social animals, Aristotle noted more than two millenniums ago, and it’s still true. Spouses can be exasperating (as my wife can attest), but they also can cuddle, fill us with love and connect us to a purpose beyond ourselves. They are infinitely better, for us and for society, than virtual lovers on an app, and that seems worth celebrating openly.

Update: I have the final figures for my 2023 holiday giving guide , so I owe readers a follow-up and a “thank you.” More than 5,400 readers contributed a total of $7.2 million to the three nonprofits I recommended , and here’s what the donations will mean in practical terms: 12,150 girls in rural Africa will be supported for a year of high school through Camfed ; 1,645 young people in the United States will be supported for a year of instruction and mentoring to succeed in college or technical school through OneGoal ; and 4,218 low-income Americans will get free training in information technology through Per Scholas so that they can start better-paying careers in the tech world. All three organizations do excellent work. In addition, 671 readers volunteered to help refugees settle in the United States through my recommended volunteer opportunity, Welcome.US . Thanks so much to all who donated and volunteered: People are benefiting here and abroad from your generosity.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

Follow the New York Times Opinion section on Facebook , Instagram , TikTok , WhatsApp , X and Threads .

Nicholas Kristof became a columnist for The Times Opinion desk in 2001. He has won two Pulitzer Prizes, for his coverage of China and of the genocide in Darfur. @ NickKristof

What Makes A Strong Thesis For A Marriage

Table of Contents:

According to Rosman and Rubel (1981), marriage is a ritual that signifies a change in a person’s status and the acceptance of their new family by society.

A comparison of American and Indian cultural marriage customs.

Cultural differences can be seen in marriage customs. Every culture performs marriage in accordance with its own traditions and customs. While many cultures have similar traditions and customs, others have their own special practices. A social union that two people have chosen to form as spouses is referred to as marriage. Sexual relations, marriage as a lifelong commitment, and conception are all implied by the union of couples. This research paper compares marriage customs between American and Indian cultures. The two cultures’ approaches to marriage differ significantly from one another.

According to anthropologist Bruce Knauft, the Gebusi clan had words for a variety of things. For instance, the Gebusi word for yesterday and tomorrow is oil, and the word for grandparents and grandchildren is owa. However, the word kogwayay stands out as the most distinctive among them because it serves as a catchall marker for all of their cultural distinction. Kogwayay is also the term used by the Gebusi for ethnicity, which is the identification with a particular cultural group due to shared values, customs, and beliefs while being inversely excluded from other groups. This is due to the language’s branching terminology. Religion is one factor that contributes to the Gebusi’s sense of kogwayay. Our understanding of their religious practices is expanded upon through Knauft’s book, and we are able to observe how they evolve over time in response to broader cultural shifts.

What does a thesis statement for an arranged marriage look like?

The effects of sociocultural and socioeconomic factors on arranged marriages include lower divorce rates and increased violence. I- Aside from cultural and socioeconomic factors, arranged marriages can result from a variety of other factors as well. A: In some cultures, getting married is both a social event and a family issue.

Which of the following best describes a relationship?

Any relationship must have effective communication for it to succeed, according to the thesis. Relationships require open communication because it enables us to work together to organize our lives, make decisions, share our interests and concerns, and support one another.

What is the child marriage thesis statement?

Child marriage is a form of rights exploitation. Almost everywhere, a child must be at least 18 years old before they can get married. So, marrying a child off before they are of legal age is abusing their right. The long-standing tradition is one of the most frequent causes of child marriage.

Child marriage is still a common practice throughout much of the world. Even though the world is changing quickly, some areas still don’t seem to be able to keep up with the times. The sad reality of child marriage, which is rarely thought about, is regrettable. When a child under the age of 18 marries informally or formally, with or without their consent, it is known as child marriage. The boy or man is typically older than the girl. We will shed light on this social issue by writing an essay about child marriage.

Child marriage is no less than exploitation of right. In almost all places, the child must be 18 years and above to get married. Thus, marrying off the child before the age is exploiting their right.

The long-standing custom that is still followed is one of the most frequent causes of child marriage. In many cultures, a girl is treated as someone else’s property the moment she is born.

What would a strong thesis statement look like?

A good example of an argumentative thesis is that high school graduates should be required to spend a year working on volunteer projects before enrolling in college. This will help them become more mature and aware of the world.

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In addition to examples of various thesis statements, this resource offers advice on how to write a thesis statement.

What words introduce a thesis statement?

Write a topic sentence or present your case as your thesis statement’s basic guidelines. dot. For these, we suggest using one of the following sentence starters to begin your thesis: In this essay, I will… (Subject) is interesting/relevant/my favorite because… Through my research, I learned that….

The most crucial component of an essay is the thesis statement. It serves as the reader’s guide, laying out the overall structure of the paper, establishing the tone of the writing, and generally conveying the main idea.

Writing a strong thesis statement can be difficult because of how crucial it is.

Before we dive into the details, let’s go over the definition of a thesis statement. The word “thesis” is a formal term for “the topic of an essay” or “a stance in a debate.”. A statement is just a sentence (or a few sentences), plain and simple.

What three things must a thesis statement contain?

Thesis Statement Components A thesis statement is composed of three main components: a specific topic, a strong opinion, and a detailed justification.

Jerz Writing Academic (Argument | Title | Thesis | Blueprint | Pro/Con | Quoting |MLA Format).

Your essay’s sole, focused argument, or thesis statement, should be stated. A compelling thesis presents a topic, the position you wish to defend, and a plan of reasoning that outlines how you will support that position in order to address the question you want to raise. A strong thesis is more than just a factual assertion, an observation, a preference or opinion, or the question you intend to answer. (Read more about this in “Academic Argument: Evidence-based Defense of a Non-obvious Position. “.

A thesis that challenges a cultural stereotype is not inherently “correct.”. You might argue that a text “provides a more expensive but more ethical solution than X” or “undermines Jim Smith’s observation that “(insert a quote from Smith here)”” instead of asserting that a book “challenges agenre’s stereotypes.”. (In an effort to develop the “right” thesis, avoid automatically using the phrase “challenges a genre’s stereotype. ).

What is the point of marriage?

Marriage should be for companionship, reproduction, and redemption, according to God. These objectives are still necessary for a functioning society today.

Marriage serves the companionship, procreation, and redemptive purposes that God has for it. These goals are still necessary for a functioning society today and are still relevant. Let’s examine each in greater detail.

God created marriage primarily for three things: companionship, procreation, and redemption. These goals are still necessary for a functioning society today and are still relevant. Let’s examine each of them more closely.

Marriage’s primary goal is to provide for a partner. The Lord stated that it was not good for man to be alone in Genesis 2:18.

What constitutes a basic thesis statement?

The main idea of your paper or essay should be summarized in a thesis statement. In most cases, it comes near the end of your introduction. Depending on the type of essay you’re writing, your thesis will differ slightly. But the main point you want to make should always be stated in the thesis statement.

Published by Shona McCombes on January 11, 2019. Eoghan Ryan made changes on September 14, 2022.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay. It usually comes near the end of your introduction.

Depending on the kind of essay you’re writing, your thesis will take on a slightly different appearance. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should circle back to this idea.

How should a thesis statement be introduced?

Start with a question and work your way toward a thesis statement in four easy steps. Create the initial response. Create a response. dot. The reader should be informed of your position’s justifications in a powerful thesis statement. Exactly what your essay will teach them. Your argument’s or story’s main points.

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes. Revised on September 14, 2022 by Eoghan Ryan.

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

What would make an effective thesis statement introduction?

In these cases, we advise beginning your thesis with one of the following phrases: In this essay, I will… (Subject) is interesting/relevant/my favorite because… Through my research, I discovered that….

A thesis statement is the most important part of an essay. It’s the roadmap, telling the reader what they can expect to read in the rest of paper, setting the tone for the writing, and generally providing a sense of the main idea.

Because it is so important, writing a good thesis statement can be tricky.

Before we get into the specifics, let’s review the basics: what thesis statement means. Thesis is a fancy word for “the subject of an essay” or “a position in a debate. ” And a statement, simply, is a sentence (or a couple of sentences).

What are the three requirements for a thesis statement?

General Thesis Statement Hints A thesis statement typically consists of two parts: your topic and then the analysis, explanation(s), or assertion(s) you are making about the topic. Depending on the kind of paper you’re writing, your thesis statement will take that into account.

Identify the three theses

Explanatory, argumentative, or analytical thesis statements are all possible.

A thesis statement, which is typically found in the opening paragraph of an essay, is a succinct summary of the main idea, purpose, or contention of the paper. It usually only contains one or two sentences.

A solid thesis statement serves as the framework for a well-structured paper and aids in your decision-making regarding which details are most crucial to include and how they should be presented.

For instance, this thesis could serve as the introduction to a paper on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. ‘s significance as an advocate for civil rights: “Dr. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a leader in the American civil rights movement who had a significant impact. His stirring speeches and nonviolent demonstrations helped unify a divided country. “.

How should a personal statement for marriage be written?

The declaration will describe how the couple first met, how their relationship progressed, when the decision to get married was made, and how circumstances following the nuptials support a conclusion that the marriage is motivated by a desire to create a life together rather than merely obtaining legal status.

As an immigration lawyer, my job is to help clients put together a well-prepared petition or application packet for submission to U. S. For those who are about to be deported, contact the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) or the U.S. S. The Immigration Court.

What a personal statement should focus on depends on what immigration relief is being sought. For example, a person applying for asylum because of past persecution back home will describe what harm he or she suffered, or why he or she fears future harm if forced to return to his or her country. The personal statement accompanying the asylum application will discuss the personal events that lead up to the writer’s past persecution, or events that could result in future persecution.

In contrast, an individual seeking lawful permanent resident status (i. e. a green card) through marriage to a U. S. citizen or lawful permanent resident may have to write a personal statement that discusses his or her relationship to the spouse. The statement will reveal how the couple met, how their relationship developed, at what point in time the decision was made to wed, and how events after the wedding support a finding that the marriage is based on the desire to build a life together rather than simply acquiring legal status. Personal statements are also required for victims of domestic violence who are seeking permanent resident status under the Violence Against Women Act, victims of certain criminal acts seeking temporary U Visa nonimmigrant status, and those seeking a change of status from one nonimmigrant category to another (such as an F-1 student seeking a B-2 tourist visa). Depending on what type of status you are seeking, your personal statement will describe the unique circumstances in your life that argue for approval of your petition and/or application.

What is general statement about marriage?

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India.

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only.

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people.

What is a strong thesis statement?

A strong thesis statement requires proof; it is not merely a statement of fact. You should support your thesis statement with detailed supporting evidence will interest your readers and motivate them to continue reading the paper. Sometimes it is useful to mention your supporting points in your thesis. One all-important component that must be included with certain petitions and applications is a client’s personal statement, where the client discusses his or her personal story. A personal statement is also known as an affidavit or declaration.

Related Articles:

• What Keeps A Marriage Strong
• What Constitutes A Strong Marriage?
• Here Are Three Pieces Of Advice For A Strong Marriage
• What Constitutes A Strong Marriage Relationship
• Neal Mccoy Talks About What Keeps His Marriage To Melinda Strong
• How To Keep Your Marriage Going Strong

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Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher Break Up After 13 Years of Marriage

After more than a decade of marriage, isla fisher and sacha baron cohen shared they've filed for divorce: "we forever share in our devotion and love for our children.".

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher  are going their separate ways.

The couple announced they're divorcing after 13 years of marriage and more than two decades together.

"After a long tennis match lasting over twenty years," a joint statement shared to their Instagram Stories April 5 read, "we are finally putting our racquets down. In 2023 we jointly filed to end our marriage."

The pair, who share three children, added, "We have always prioritized our privacy, and have been quietly working through this change," they added. "We forever share in our devotion and love for our children. We sincerely appreciate your respecting our family's wish for privacy."

The Borat star and Australian actress tied the knot in 2010 , eight years after the two crossed paths at a party.

"She was hilarious," the comedian told the New York Times in 2020   of the Wedding Crashers star. "We were at a very pretentious party, and me and her bonded over taking the mick out of the other people in the party. I knew instantly. I don't know if she did. It's taken her about 20 years to know."

As Sacha shared at the time, "It seems bizarre that we're still married in Hollywood after so many years."

It's a sentiment that Isla has treasured over the years .

"Choosing to be together every day is incredibly romantic," she previous told the Sunday Telegraph . "I love marriage. I think it's a wonderful institution and it's the most important decision you make. Life is filled with highs and lows, and you have a best friend to share it with you. It's amazing. It's like winning the lottery, having a good partner."

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However, the two have chosen to keep some details of their romance close to the chest.

"I get nervous talking about it," Isla explained to  Australian Women's Weekly in 2022 ,  "because I feel like, by not having my relationship in the public domain and not having spoken about how we met or really talked about our marriage publicly, it's remained something private and valuable to me."

As for Sacha, 52, he's expressed his adoration for Isla, 48, over the years, especially when it came to celebrating two decades together.

"Happy Anniversary my love," he wrote on Instagram the previous year . "I'm writing this rather than getting you a card. Our duration is largely due to our location - after all Hollywood is the bastion of lengthy marriages."

It was a lighthearted mention that the  Now You See Me  star echoed, sharing the importance of their foundation just one year before they privately filed for divorce.

The  Now You See Me  star also echoed the value of their foundation just one year before they privately filed for divorce.

"I don't want to stand on a soapbox and advise anybody," Fisher told E! News in 2022 , but "if you marry someone that you have a really good friendship with, everything else seems to fall into place."

She continued, "You still get butterflies in your stomach and people sort of tell you that wears off after a few years. But when you're with the right person, actually it just doesn't."

Read on for a look back at their romance.

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher first met in the early aughts at a party in Sydney, Australia. 

“She was hilarious,” the Borat star told The New York Times in Oct. 2020. “We were at a very pretentious party, and me and her bonded over taking the mick out of the other people in the party. I knew instantly. I don’t know if she did.”

The duo got engaged in 2004.

"I Do"

In March 2010, the Wedding Crashers actress and the comedian tied the knot in Paris.

Growing Their Team

Isla and Sacha share three children together.

Milestone Anniversary

"20 YEARS," Isla wrote alongside a series of Instagram photos in Dec. 2021, before quoting Winnie the Pooh. "If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever."

Breakup Announcement

"After a long tennis match lasting over twenty years," they wrote in a joint statement shared to their Instagram Stories April 5, "we are finally putting our racquets down. In 2023 we jointly filed to end our marriage."

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