conclusion on shawshank redemption essay

Film Studies: “The Shawshank Redemption” Essay

Burke’s phrase mainly gives the idea of identity as a simple persuasive way by putting the character in the very same shoes as the person the persuasion is directed. This, as he states, entails the use of speech, tone, gestures, order, attitude, idea, and image to identify with the person being persuaded (Burke, 1950). Scriptwriters, film directors, and novelists employ the use of Burke’s idea of identity in their persuasion aims as exemplified in the movie the Shawshank Redemption.

The Shawshank Redemption exemplifies excellently the use of identity as a persuasive tool with the parole of Elis Boyd Redding (Red). Red identifies with the crime and brings about regret in the way he handles the last chance he has with the parole board. He has created an identity with the audience throughout the movie by treating other inmates with respect and gaining respect from other inmates and non-inmates.

Red has the task of persuading the parole board to accept his application for parole. He does this marvelously through assumption of an identity that the parole board identifies with a repented criminal. He uses a regretful tone as he gives the delivery “I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed a crime.” This tone shows conciliation with his past that leaves the parole board stunned. It is the assumption of the identity that works best as Burkes idea of tone and a means of persuasion is in a best way shown.

Red persuades the parole board using a resigned attitude of not being in a position to undo the mistakes of his youth. This identifies well with the parole board as the crime was committed in is youth and that he has accepted his mistakes and is changed for the better when he talks of not being able to talk to the “stupid kid who committed the crime.” This exemplifies use of attitude in identity to persuade as Burke gives in his definition of identity as a form of persuasion.

In his parole speech, Red identifies with the parole board using rhetoric and logical reasoning to persuade the parole board to grant him parole (Brock & Green, 2005). Red logically reasons that he cannot be able to talk to the kid who committed the crime since the kid is long gone. He reasons that what remains is “this old man”. He accepts that he is got to “live with”, which identifies him to the torment he has gone through for many years in prison that persuades the board to offer him parole.

Red also identifies with the audience persuasively through his attitude and mannerisms. He treats his fellow inmates with respect and was ethical, hence, gains respect from everyone. Through his identity of image, he projects an ethical old man frustrated with being denied parole for many years and the pessimism is not lost on the video audience and the parole board (Brock & Green, 2005). He identifies with the board on pessimism due to the many times his parole has been rejected that persuades them to accept his parole and save him years of anguish.

On identity in idea, Red exemplifies a classic identity of an old man who has come to terms with his past and repentant of the sins of his youth (Larson, 2012). He regrets of his committing the crime and laments of inability to take it back identifying well with a person who needs parole. His use of gestures gives the board a conviction to the change and transformation from a crime lover to an ethical old man, changed by the system and harmless to the world (Larson, 2012).

Identity, therefore, through use of speech, tone, gestures, order, attitude, idea, and image act as a simple persuasive technique as shown by Red in the Shawshank Redemption.

Brock, T., & Green, M. (2005). Persuasion: Psychological insights and perspectives . Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publishing.

Burke, K. (1950). A Rhetoric of Motive. Berkeley: University of California Press.

Larson, C. (2012). Persuasion: Reception and Responsibility: Reception and Responsibility. New York: Cengage Learning.

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20 The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“No Matter the Obstacle: The Shawshank Redemption”

By Ryder Rebibis

No matter how difficult a situation or obstacle may be, humans have the ability to persist and overcome even the most sinful tribulations. This can only be achieved from the most determining factor which is, hope. The gift of hope has the capability to push through adversity while maintaining an unshakable optimistic perspective. In the film  The Shawshank Redemption , we see how the power of hope impacts those within the most misfortunate circumstances.

The Shawshank Redemption is a drama film written and directed by Frank Darabont which was based on Stephen King’s novella “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption” from 1982. The protagonist Andy Dufresne received two life sentences because of the murders of his wife and her secret lover. Andy is sentenced to Shawshank Penitentiary where he encounters Red, an inmate who has also received a life sentence for murder and has done 20 years before Andy’s arrival. Andy and Red and other close inmates experience the struggles and hardships when living in a hostile institution. Between the warden, guards, and certain inmates, their relationships were advantageous, amoral, and scandalous. But throughout their journey, they understood what it means to have hope by believing to achieve the best outcome despite how difficult their situation may be.

Throughout this essay, I will explore the film’s differences between moral and immoral actions of institutionalized characters, the power of reputation and status, and the discriminational ties between a prisoner’s past compared to those with authority. The punishment for a prisoner is to be stripped of their freedom, time, and dignity from society. How does status play a role when it is impractical within a prison? Does it depend on what you’re able to do for other inmates or how appalling a crime is committed? Is it morally wrong to take advantage of a murderer for personal gain? Or is it justifiable based on what they did in the past? The total institution theme is compelling because of how the prisoners are in the worst position of humanity by being weak and powerless and controlled by the guards and the warden. Innocences, empathy, and money are worthless for these convicts as they live day by day trying to create the best situation for themselves.

The awareness of difference is very subtle to recognize but is the main reason as to why the majority of viewers can relate to these characters. Change is the most important factor throughout the movie. We observe the changes between the protagonists from the beginning of the film and who they become at the end of the movie. The most defining point of difference we see is from the Red (Morgan Freeman). In the beginning of the film, before he meets Andy, Red is interrogated by five men who are in charge of a rehabilitation conference to release Red into society. Red has been asked if he feels like he has been rehabilitated and responds with a passive appeal stating he has been a changed man. The men don’t bat an eye and reject Red’s acceptance to be released. Red is demoralized as his rejection reinforces his own beliefs, which is to be in prison forever. Throughout the movie, we see how much of an impact Andy has made on Red by observing how determined Andy is to find a way to become free and not show any pessimism. They became good friends until eventually Andy escapes the prison. Red then reflects on who he is as a person and no longer looks forward to being a free man except for one reason. The only thing that keeps him hopeful is Andy’s escape to start his dream of opening a hotel on the coast of Zihuatanejo, Mexico, also known as, “The place of no memory”. He is hopeful that Andy is doing well himself and that they can reunite and make a purposeful living together. After Andy’s escape Red has another rehabilitation conference but gives a different answer. He says he wishes he could go back in time and talk some sense to his younger self. He knows that it’s impossible he has to live with that. He ends his speech by concluding they are wasting his time and that the word “rehabilitation” is a made-up word and truthfully doesn’t care if he gets released or not. Surprisingly the men accept his invocation to be released and Red begins his journey to find Andy. To tie this together, we see how Red refused the idea to have hope for Andy earlier addressed upon Red in the prison. But seeing how influential and determined Andy became paved the way for Red to believe the same.

Power within the film is the most undervalued element because it plays a crucial factor in the film’s storyline. The most noticeable representation of power is between the guards and warden’s power over the prisoners. We see the interactions between both sides and how having the authority to give orders is where we are able to compare the dissimilarities. But for this essay, there is a stronger and more significant representation of power within the film which involves Andy. Before Andy’s crime, he was a successful banker. When he entered the prison he had no motive to use his financing skills until he overheard the chief guard complain about taxes. This is where Andy stepped in to help give tax advice to the chief. That led to Andy finding a way to be a beneficial banker to all of the guards in the prison including the warden. The staff of the prison knew that it was illegal but still proceeded to let Andy take care of their finances. What makes this important is that the prison staff was unaware of Andy taking measured steps to create a fake person on paper with his own acts of money laundering. The connection between power and this theme is that even though Andy is a prisoner, he had the upper hand by using their illegal operation against them. He understands power is the ability to act upon knowledge which in this case is his mastery of financing. He can commit the prison staff for fraud meaning that he has leverage which is powerful for a man in his position. The ability to be a prisoner and be able to discreetly control and oversee those who had authority over him was a concealed power.

An interesting topic about discrimination is how inmates can be categorized as forever bad people especially after their release back into civilization. Typically the biggest challenges for those that are newly released are not knowing where to begin, family support, finding employment, and mental health issues. In this film, we see the development of these characters and how they perceive themself as not what they were once before but to watch them grow into good men for society. The integrity and uprightness that they show in this movie portray that everyone can change because The warden and guards treat the prisoners in unlawful ways which show how immoral they are themselves, in some cases more immoral than the prisoners.

The way we view the prisoners in this film is different compared to how we view them in society. Understanding the psychographics of certain prisoners in this movie shows how not all prisoners have future intentions of committing what they have done in the past. In this case, we see Red and Andy wanting to cause no harm to society and live peaceful lives that they curate for themselves. But compared to the views of public perception we make these people feel alienated based on their past. Society becomes fearful that they will repeat their same crimes that got them in confinement in the first place. Although that may be true, it shouldn’t be the central stereotype that all prisoners can never change and become better for society.

A review of the film that I thought was interesting was interpreting The Shawshank Redemption through the theme of its underlying Chrisitianity. The review gives crucial points that showcase how the process of rebirth of Andy when he finally escapes the prison. He is shown as a changed man as if he was reborn becoming cleansed from being isolated for the wrong reasons. That is supported by the entrance into prison and the way he escapes. The review also portrays the warden as the devil because of how manipulative and scheming he is. The warden preaches God but does acts that go against his principles of believing in discipline and the bible. He kills the only man that can prove Andy as innocent and locks Andy in the hole for months at end because he is afraid he will expose his money laundering fraud. What I also find interesting is how the warden says the quote “salvation lies within” which refers to how he thinks that his inmates should act accordingly too. The review discussed Andy as the messiah having his other friendly inmates supporting him based on what he was able to provide for them with no intentions of receiving anything back (Briggs). Taking this film with a religious interpretation, it portrays how leading through forgiveness can result in finding absolution.

The reason I selected this film was because of my interest in psychological thrillers and stoicism. Even though The Shawshank Redemption is more of a crime fiction, it has its psychological elements with ties to stoicism. The ability to push through adversity and persevere is how I try to execute everything throughout my day. Much like Andy, with his ability to persist and be optimistic even in the most difficult part of his life he still managed to find his purpose of a higher calling. Red is the majority of people that we see in reality. People blindly go along their life trying to find a purpose. But with the help of Andy, he is able to follow his path much like a disciple would. Once he finds something to live for he is able to come at peace with himself. My interpretation of the film is the idea to keep moving forward no matter how discouraging and demoralizing the obstacles may be. It’s a very motivational film and changes the perspective of my own life by taking mine for granted by thinking my situation could be worse like Andy’s or Red’s. I would also include the idea of never judging a book by its cover. The reason being is that we see Andy as a guilty man who murdered his wife and her secret admirer. But only he and the film’s audience know that he is actually innocent and always trying to change himself and others around him for the better.

The Shawshank Redemption has both its depressing and triumphant moments that put the audience through a rollercoaster of emotions. From seeing the character development with Red, the rise of power with Andy, and how we can feel sympathy for even the most disgraceful people, we resonate with Shawshank Redemption because of how we can reflect it upon our own lives. As people, we take for granted how great our lives actually are by complaining about things others could never possess and to be able to live the lifestyle and have the people around us that only others could dream of. I recommend this film to those who want to be inspired by those that find themselves to never give up through the worst times of their lives. By reflecting upon your life from an outside perspective, it is easier to go about how you treat yourself and the others around you.

Briggs, Tim. “‘Shawshank’ Still Preaches, 25 Years Later.” The Gospel Coalition . 30 October 2019. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/shawshank-still-preaches-25-years-later/

Difference, Power, and Discrimination in Film and Media: Student Essays Copyright © by Students at Linn-Benton Community College is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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The Shawshank Redemption

By frank darabont, the shawshank redemption study guide.

Frank Darabont 's 1994 film The Shawshank Redemption is an adaptation of Stephen King's 1982 novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption , starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. It follows the story of Andy Dufresne , a man who is serving two life sentences at the Shawshank State Penitentiary for his supposed involvement in the double murder of his wife and her lover. In prison, Andy befriends Ellis "Red" Redding and has a profound effect on life at Shawshank through his quiet spiritual leadership and generous spirit.

Upon release, the film was not widely attended, and indeed it was a box office disappointment, but critics raved about its merits, which gave it a second life. It was nominated for seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Actor (Morgan Freeman), Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Editing, and Best Original Score. While it did not win any awards, the film became an instant classic, with esteemed critic Roger Ebert writing, "...the film is an allegory about holding onto a sense of personal worth, despite everything."

In 2015, the Library of Congress selected the film for preservation in the National Film Registry, finding it "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." Stephen King has called Shawshank his favorite film that is based on his work.

The Shawshank Redemption Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for The Shawshank Redemption is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

What item in Andy cell represents his character

Rocks, crystals, and concrete represent Andy Dufresne's persistence, which he uses to survive the prison environment and nspire others.

What caused the whole prison to come back to life in 1967

Andy's escape was in 1966 so I think you might be meaning that.

List three things Red suggests slowed Andy down in breaking through the wall.

I don't recall Red trying to slow Andy down.

Study Guide for The Shawshank Redemption

The Shawshank Redemption study guide contains a biography of Frank Darabont, literature essays, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.

• About The Shawshank Redemption
• The Shawshank Redemption Summary
• Character List
• Director's Influence

Essays for The Shawshank Redemption

The Shawshank Redemption essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of The Shawshank Redemption by Frank Darabont.

• Receiving Redemption: The Transformative Power of Hope
• Ropes of Oppression: Escaping the Noose
• How Journeys Challenge and Broaden Understanding of the World: "Father and Child," "Spring Hall," and The Shawshank Redemption
• Shawshank: The Injustices of the Justice System
• Patience and Persistence: Andy Dufresne’s Long Game

Wikipedia Entries for The Shawshank Redemption

• Introduction

Home — Essay Samples — Entertainment — Shawshank Redemption — Evaluating the Theme of Abuse and Power in “Shawshank Redemption”

Evaluating The Theme of Abuse and Power in "Shawshank Redemption"

• Categories: Book Review Shawshank Redemption

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Published: Aug 14, 2023

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Table of contents

The tragic reality of shawshank prison: unjust punishment and abuse, references .

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The Shawshank Redemption Conclusion Essay Example

• Pages: 2 (545 words)
• Published: September 30, 2017
• Type: Essay

Although the film is largely narrated by Morgan Freeman playing the role of Red, the central character is Tim Robbins who plays the role of Andy Dufresne. His character has quite a lamentable story of an ex-banker who is accused of murdering his wife and her partner for adultery. Tim Robbins make the most of this role and maximises the personality of the character because he showed the right amount of physical cowardice when confronted by strangers and even worse the sisters; however he showed the corporate and clinical attitude that had made him a successful banker.

This is displayed when he tries to grab what he cannot reach by making a deal with Captain Hadley about his late brother's money. One of the most brilliant things about this character is that he doesn't break sweat even when the

captain has him dangling from the edge of the factory ceiling because he thinks that you need to either, "get busy living or get busy dying". The audience get to perceive and understand the story because most of it is narrated by Morgan Freeman (Red).I believe that he is perfect for this role because his persona emphasises the idea of experience and moral understanding. Another bonus is that his voice is calm, collected and conservative. This is crucial to the progression of the story as the tone sways from desolate despair to optimistic opportunities.

I would criticise some of his physicality in the film because I believe he tries to show his emotions too astutely and doesn't really express his emotion, however that does come part and parcel with his character.Overall, he has done a sound job.

However, I was left a bit confused because the character tended to seem a bit hollow and not as mesmerizing as Andy Dufresne or the Warden. My outline of the movie is that it was well produced, well scripted and well presented. However I would still stand by that fact that the film's ending was almost too good to be true.

The reason for this would be that the director would have wanted to compensate for the lingering feeling of death throughout the film.My opinion of the film is that it is extremely well rounded and gives a well deserved ending to the overall production and progression of the storyline. When I first watched this film I was completely engrossed in the storyline and how will Andy Dufresne live a life utter despair when he was innocent? But then of course, "everyone in Shawshank is innocent. " Right till the very last minute of the film I was sitting there imagining myself on the very same beach Red and Andy met basking in the glorious sunlight and imaging the beauties that hope brings along.Reflecting back on what Red said about hope, "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing.

Hope can drive a man insane". However I do have to say that the film seems too good to be true because your impression of a state prison wouldn't seem to be all that bad. You don't realise it but you end up seeing murderers, rapists and burglars as friendly people and men of honour, how counterintuitive.

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Home Essay Examples Entertainment Shawshank Redemption

Analysis Of 1984 And Shawshank Redemption: Comparative Essay

• Category Literature , Entertainment
• Subcategory English Literature , Movies
• Topic 1984 , Film Analysis , Shawshank Redemption

“In Japan it is said that the words of the soul reside in the spirit called katadoma or the spirit of words and the act of speaking words has the power to change the world.” This powerful line from the Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto reminds us that no matter what form or mode a text is in, it has the ability to convey ideas through personal perspectives allowing room for the creators to be as multifaceted as they please. They invite us to ‘their’ world allowing us to have an insight into their experience. This causes us, class of English advanced 2020 to look at a particular part through a new pair of lenses, changing our view about people, of life and the world surrounding us. Storytelling often deeply influences individuals and the collective through human thoughts, emotions and memories. In George Orwell’s cautionary novel 1984, Orwell imagines a world where totalitarianism reigned, individualism was dead and the reality and history was simply a matter of opinion shown through the display of the systematic abuse of power experienced by Winston physically, mentally and emotionally. Likewise, Shawshank Redemption explores the lack of personal identity a person has when one is being held back in a jail. However, through tough oppressive governing, determination, dreams and new facets that are developed through experience, they outweigh the negativity and sometimes finds the better of people. Through these modes, it’s staggering to see the immense depths storytelling can bring. When stories are told well, it has the ability connect the reader and with 1984 and Shawshank redemption the movie. Today I will examine how when human beings are under surveillance contradictory behaviours are ignited and also how memories has the ability to give hope and inner strength of one’s humanness. Welcome, yr 12 Advanced English class of 2020 I will be exploring how story telling ignites new ideas about the multifaceted nature of human behaviour and how that impacts us, as the responder of these texts.

Throughout history, people of different religions and cultures celebrate by wearing masks. You might ask, what does the act of mask-wearing have to do with any of these texts? How do they fit in to this part of the puzzle humanity? Well let me tell you, in my mind, the act of wearing masks, hides the inner personality of a person which is clearly portrayed through the main characters in both of these texts. The means to survive when one is under tough or unberable conditions, humans can sometimes become contradictory in many ways.

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In George Orwell’s 1984 we see that people of Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia live in a world that condemns them of their personal thoughts and behaviours. Throughout the character Winston, we see that it’s ironic as he works at the Ministry of Truth because despite his work, he’s always searching for the real truth and frequently questions the Party. He tell us that “If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” Because he knows that any secret could be extracted by external forces, especially through the systematic abuse of power and the manipulation of the party. Orwell uses Winston’s habit of introspection and self-analysis to explore the opposition between external and internal reality, and between individualism and collective identity. Convinced that he cannot escape punishment for his disloyalty, Winston nonetheless seeks to understand the motives behind the Party’s oppressive policies, and takes considerable personal risks not only to experience forbidden feelings and relationships but to contact others who share his scepticism and desire to rebel against Ingsoc. O’Brien’s oxymoronic statement “the individual only has power in so far as he ceases to be an individual” creates a paradox that exemplifies the suppression of individualism by the party, as it is impossible to gain individual power without giving up individuality. The capitalised oxymoronic slogans “WAR IS PEACE FREEDOM IS SLAVERY IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH” represents the prevalence of paradoxes that arise due to interference with human experience. It highlights the contradictory values of society, referred to as “doublethink”, which highlights the way words have lost their meaning and hence humans have lost their expression.

Likewise in Shawshank redemption, we see that Andy takes advantage of his educated self ( “Perhaps we can find something more befitting a man of your education.” making the prison guards realise how useful he is to them by giving advice about money, taxes and investments. By gaining the trust of the guards it exemplifies how inconsistent human beings can be when they have a strong mindset of what is needed to do. By his actions, it demonstrates that through oppressive experiences, being in a jail, it reveals aspects of his character like the desire to help out young prisoners, the desire to escape and at the same time the desire to survive in prison and make life there bearable. At one point, Andy tells, “The funny thing is, on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to the prison to be a criminal”. Coming out of him, this idea was revealed as a facet of his behaviour. I don’t think that on the outside, Andy could of ever done anything deceitful or criminal and yet inside, the different experiences he has experienced has revealed an ability to be deceptive. Without the harsh conditions of prison life, he wouldn’t of known he had that capacity of will to live. This is the same with Winston, being oppressed as he is, he has brough out the facets of his nature that maybe he wouldn’t have known he had, the ability to be deceptive and the incredible desire to rebel.

Ok let go and have a look at film techniques. Andy plays music we see the prisoners, shown from a bird’s eye view, displaying the prisoners as small and insignificant. The camera angles used by Darabont allow the audience to see the status of the characters. As the audience, we get an instant look into who is in control and who isn’t. While Andy is inside Shawshank we do not see many variations of colour, mainly just shades of grey. these dull, lifeless colours highlight the prisoners lack of power and for most of the prisoners, their lack of hope.

Memories is the key to the experience and has the ability to drive the behaviour of a character. Bleak, simple sentences of “pushed the picture out of his mind… It was a false memory” are juxtaposed against the romantic imagery of Winston’s past, underscoring the harsh reality that accompanies a loss of individuality. This highlights the Party’s ability to manipulate the conscience of the individual’s behaviour as a way of exerting control, showcasing its significance to the human experience. Therefore, his bleak commentary on society, in which all citizens are stripped of their ability to think freely, evokes paradoxical and complex human emotions. Shown through Julia, memories for her are something of the past. Something she doesn’t have a grasp on. Succumbing to this great loss of identity, she depends on what the Party feed her all the truth that are made up with absolutely no fact backing it up. Having no memory of the past she belongs to the party making that the only world she ever knew.

However, sadly the same is found within Shawshank redemption. Brooks showcases the same experience when his lengthy sentence came to an end. Us, as the responders, seeing him come out to the real world made me foster the idea that he would be finally free, but on the other hand, for him, as an inmate at Shawshank state prison, being let out was almost displayed like punishment as he wasn’t ever going to be able to adapt to life in the real world after not being part of it for 50 years. As a result he hangs himself after, etching an inscription saying, “BROOKS WAS HERE” into the ceiling of his motel room. This symbolises as his legacy and by doing this he displays his individuality, expressing that a human being was once on this planet by the name of Brooks Hatlen. Not an inmate, a human being, an individual. Likewise, when Winston enters what he calls ‘his dream’ the golden country, he senses that he is being constantly watched and under surveillance. Although as a glimpse of hope and freedom, Winston still doesn’t feel exactly comfortable. This exemplifies to us that even when we as the audience think he is given a chance of freedom, to him personally, it’s more of a test and that memory can sometimes bring out the worst of people as it. Winston’s feelings of legacy echo Brooks’ as he writes in his journal with the hopes that one day someone will find it, read it, and know that one day in time, someone by the name of Winston once lived. These definitions all point to the fact that memory is the key to experience. The experience is stored in memory and drawn upon when the circumstances are repeated or closely mimicked so we can deal with them

In conclusion, shown through both of these text, 1984 and Shawshank Redemption, they both have the ability to tell stories through the narrator. Both composers tell their story through a ‘third person’ perspective giving us a glimpse into the characters Winston and Julia as well as the totalitarian society in 1984 and Shawshank Redemption the experience they face along their journey. The oppressive experiences that both of these characters face whether in a totalitarian society or in prison, it brings out facets. And these facets are like the faces of a diamond they might not be totally opposite to each other but it reveals multiple of faces as we examine it with a greater level of understanding. The human experience is not black and white because it’s everything in between. In some cases, it might be the oppression and terror one experiences or sometimes the many joys we have in life. It’s not as simple as we may think as it takes time for a person to understand the position they are placed in but through both of these texts, 1984 and Shawshank Redemption, us as the responders clearly enumerates the multifaceted nature of human experience.

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Modern Love

Tiny Love Stories: ‘The Problem Was He Smelled Really Good’

Modern Love in miniature, featuring reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words.

My high school friends restart a group text. Basic holiday wishes turn to cheering on professional accomplishments and then to art, music and book recommendations. We send memes, pictures, Spotify links. Most of us have not seen one another in nearly two decades, yet we remember the smell of each other’s childhood homes, how NPR was always playing. There is a sturdiness here, not just in our friendships enduring, but in the reminder that we existed before all this — the babies, the career ambitions, the illnesses. And that, so far, we’ve survived it all. — Kathleen Donahoe

Everything Together

Walking out of one of countless oncology appointments that year, I asked my parents how they were coping. Mum looked at me earnestly, and cracked a smile. “Well, if your dad has to have cancer, at least I have it too,” she said. Without missing a beat, my father quipped: “After 35 years, I guess the universe still wants us to do everything together.” I stared at them. They stared back. We burst out laughing. In that moment, I realized that when life deals you a rough hand, limitless love and lots of dark humor make all the difference. — Misha Hooda

Parallel Paths

Mom and I unknowingly waded into the dating pool around the same time. She as a widow, at 48, and I as a newly out gay man, at 24. Dating (or, rather, possible rejection) terrified me. But I had learned to be courageous from the best: Mom sacrificed everything for a chance at the American dream. She held our family together in the face of Dad’s grueling illness and death. She loved me unconditionally, though her faith branded me irredeemable. She has always found a way to smile. She has a boyfriend now, and I, a husband. — Roberto López Jr.

First Impression

He was late. His scrubs were wrinkled. His hair had that dent, the one that announces, “I am divorced and fell asleep on the couch.” He looked like he should smell bad. It’s my first day on the job and I’m already going to have to fire someone, I thought. “You are late,” I said, contemplating the H.R. paperwork with my best Jersey-boss-girl attitude. “I always am,” he shrugged, his slight West Texas Tejano accent making it sound less disrespectful, maybe even sexy. The problem was he smelled really good. He still smells good, even after 23 years of marriage. — Laurie Pineda

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