reasons for divorce essay

The Top 12 Reasons for Divorce

Lack of commitment, financial challenges, and infidelity are some of the leading causes of divorce in the world. But your age and culture may change it all.

Relationship survival usually requires a blend of open communication, intimacy, and empathy. When any of these characteristics are missing or start to fade, the romantic bond between two people may weaken.

Couples may decide to divorce for many reasons. From incompatibility of lifestyles to dishonest behavior. However, researchers have found that some reasons for divorce seem to be more common across cultures and generations.

Leading causes of divorce

The top reasons for divorce have fluctuated over the years and vary by country, often heavily influenced by cultural beliefs and practices.

In Denmark, for example, a 2019 controlled trial study found the top reasons for divorce in that nation included:

lack of love and intimacy
communication problems
lack of sympathy, trust, and respect
growing apart because of different interests and activities

Couples who face challenges in having children also seem to be more likely to divorce if having a larger family is a priority for one or both partners.

Divorce percentages in the United States and the world

According to the most recent data available for the years 1970 to 2008, the average rate of divorce in 84 countries around the world was 4.08 for every 1,000 marriages. In the United States, the numbers are much higher.

In 2008, the divorce rate for women was 20.5 out of every 1,000 marriages, and 19.4 for men. In 2020, rates were 14 and 13.3 respectively per 1,000 marriages.

Divorce in the United States

A national survey from 2005 remains the most recent large-scale report about the leading causes of divorce in the nation.

The survey found that the 12 top reasons for divorce, from most to least common, are:

lack of commitment
constant arguing or conflict
marrying too young
unrealistic expectations about partner or marriage
inequality between partners
inadequate preparation for marriage
domestic violence
financial problems
conflict about domestic work
lack of family support
religious differences

A smaller-scale study in 2013 revealed that lack of commitment , infidelity, and conflict and arguing were indeed the leading causes of divorce in the United States.

A closer look at the reasons for divorce

According to the 2005 national survey, reasons for divorce are complex, and most participants cite multiple causes for the decision.

Lack of commitment (73.2%)

A diminished desire to put effort into making your relationship work can look like poor communication, lack of compromise, or the absence of everyday kindness .

Too much arguing and conflict (55%)

“Constant fighting can signify that you’re not compatible or have irreconcilable differences,” explains Dr. Harold Hong , a board certified psychiatrist from Raleigh, North Carolina.

Endless arguments and poor conflict resolution may take a toll on the relationship and lead couples to divorce.

Infidelity (54.6%)

Research from 2014 suggests that 20% to 40% of U.S. marriages have faced at least one incident of infidelity .

“Infidelity can lead to feelings of betrayal, anger, and resentment, which can destroy a relationship,” explains Joni Ogle , a licensed clinical social worker from Houston, Texas.

Effects of infidelity may include anxiety, depression, trauma, trust challenges, shame, guilt, and social withdrawal.

Marrying too young (45.7%)

Hong explains that growth and change are inevitable, but if you’re not growing together, it can put a strain on your relationship.

When you marry at a young age, you may still be developing key aspects of your personality .

Signs that you may be growing apart from your spouse may include an absence of shared interests, having different life goals, and feelings of isolation or loneliness , says Hong.

Unrealistic expectations (45.3%)

Unrealistic expectations about how the household will run, where you will live, and how you will be treated as a spouse are one of the top reasons for divorce in the United States.

Assuming “things will be better after you’re married” may be a warning sign of unrealistic expectations placed on the marriage.

Lack of equality (43.7%)

Early signs of inequality in a marriage might include double standards or having one partner make all the decisions.

If you feel pigeonholed into a gender stereotype in marriage, that may be another sign of inequality.

Inadequate preparation (41.1%)

Little to no pre-marriage preparation can make cohabitation overwhelming. Having a hard time living with your spouse is a leading cause of divorce.

Signs of inadequate preparation may include underdeveloped skills in home maintenance, household routines, or finance management.

Lack of preparation may also mean skipping conversations about long-term marriage goals related to children, careers, spouse roles, and preferred lifestyles.

Domestic violence (29.1%)

Domestic violence can be any pattern of abusive behavior in an intimate relationship that’s used to maintain power or control.

Domestic violence isn’t only about physical assault. Common signs of an abusive relationship may include persistent blaming, intimidation, manipulation , and social isolation.

Financial problems (28.4%)

Having a hard time making ends meet or having a partner who overextends spending may cause stress in a marriage.

If you’re always being asked for money, it may be a sign your partner finds financial responsibility a challenge.

Unresolved financial challenges are one of the top reasons for divorce.

Conflict about domestic work (21.6%)

Unequal distribution of household chores and child care responsibilities may translate into conflict and resentment for one or both partners.

Feeling your spouse takes you for granted or that you can’t rely on them for support may lead many couples to divorce.

Lack of family support (18.7%)

If your family doesn’t agree with your marriage or your partner, the rift you feel may contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as well as a sense of grief for the lost connections.

Your family may exclude your partner, put them down, or encourage you to “keep your options open.”

Both you and your partner may find this pressure difficult to manage, which could cause you to consider divorce as an option.

Religious differences (13.2%)

“If you and your partner have different values, it can be tough to find common ground,” says Ogle.

If your partner ridicules or demeans your religion early in the relationship, or tries to convert you away despite your expressed disinterest, it may be an indicator of future conflict.

Should couples try separation before divorcing?

There is no evidence that couples may benefit from a separation before considering divorce.

According to Hong, research shows the majority of separations progress to the divorce phase anyway.

Separating can, however, be beneficial when both partners are invested in reconciling and just need some time to regroup.

“Some couples may find that a temporary separation can help them identify and resolve the underlying problems in their marriage,” says Hong. “Separation can give you time to reflect on your relationship and decide if you want to stay married or not.”

Do reasons for divorce change depending on age?

Reasons for divorce don’t change depending on age, but challenges may manifest differently.

Research in 2019 spanning several decades noted that divorce rates do vary depending on age groups. Dr. Danielle McGraw , a licensed clinical psychologist from Scottsdale, Arizona, points out the reasons are often the same, though.

“The causes don’t necessarily change between age groups, but they may look different,” she explains.

McGraw indicates that older couples may have learned to avoid conflict, for example, whereas younger couples may experience more fighting in the relationship. Still, unresolved conflict is a leading cause of divorce for both young and older couples.

How hard should you try before getting a divorce?

All three experts agree: No matter how hard you try, saving a marriage is only possible if both people share that goal.

“A couple can only heal a relationship and avoid divorce if both parties are willing to work on the relationship and communicate effectively,” says Ogle.

Where there’s mutual love, even if complicated by reconcilable differences and communication barriers , marriage can be salvaged.

“In most situations, it is possible to heal a relationship with therapy ,” says McGraw. “Couples therapy can help couples learn communication skills, learn how to express their feelings to one another, express their needs, and rebuild their friendship.”

McGraw adds that safety is a priority when it comes to saving a relationship. When physical, emotional, and mental health are in jeopardy in marriage, separation or divorce may be the best option.

Let’s recap

Infidelity, arguing, infertility, and lack of commitment are some of the top reasons for divorce in the world. There’s usually more than one cause of divorce, though.

Most divorce reasons are preventable, though, when both partners are in love and willing to spend time and energy in solving the differences.

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Hong H. (2022). Personal interview.
Marriage and divorce. (2022). https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm
Marriage and divorce rates. (n.d.). https://www.oecd.org/els/family/SF_3_1_Marriage_and_divorce_rates.pdf
Martin RA, et al. (2014). Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: Relationship outcomes over 5-years following therapy. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fcfp0000012
McGraw D. (2022). Personal interview.
Ogle J. (2022). Personal interview.
Provisional number of marriages and marriage rate: United States, 200-2020. (n.d.). https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/national-marriage-divorce-rates-00-20.pdf
Scott SB, et al. (2013). Reasons for divorce and recollections of premarital intervention: Implications for improving relationships education. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/
Strizzi JM, et al. (2019). “I had not seen Star Wars” and other motives for divorce in Denmark. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2019.1641871
With this ring…A national survey on marriage in America. (2005). http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/nms.pdf
Wang CTL, et al. (2018). Coming out of the penumbras: World culture and cross-national variation in divorce rates. https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/97/2/675/5055442?login=false
Westrick-Payne KK. (2022). Charting marriage & divorce in the US: The adjusted divorce rate, 2008-2020. https://www.bgsu.edu/content/dam/BGSU/college-of-arts-and-sciences/NCFMR/documents/RBT/charting-us-divorce-rate-2008-2020.pdf
What is domestic abuse? (n.d.). https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse
Wineberg H, et al. (2008). Separation and reconciliation in American marriages. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J087v20n01_02

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Why Do People Divorce?

It turns out that the most common reasons are anyone’s guess..

Posted February 22, 2020 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

The Challenges of Divorce
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Recently an interviewer asked me why people divorce. Seems like a simple question, right? However, a review of the research shows that statistics vary widely from one study to another.

In fact, this is a harder question than one might think. Is there a "final straw," such as an affair? Or a long-term "slow burn," such as lack of communication or lack of commitment?

One reason might be that the research data is based on what people report as the reason for divorce, which might be the "final straw" without mentioning the context or long-term problems. For example, one respondent might say, "He had an affair" ("last straw"), and the underlying reason might be "lack of intimacy " ("slow burn"). Some studies say that " infidelity" is the biggest reason , others say "lack of commitment," and yet others say "basic incompatibility."

In this article, I'll share the reasons that come up most often. However, they are not in any particular order because the research is not definitive.

In my work with clients, I have seen that "betrayal" underlies most of the reasons given for divorce, although not necessarily infidelity . When my clients report a betrayal of their wedding vows, they often describe a betrayal of their hopes and dreams . The starry-eyed bride and groom find that their expectations are not met, and their despair may lead to conflict, acting out, addiction , withdrawal, and the eventual breakdown of the relationship.

Here are the most cited issues that people report as their reasons for divorce:

Lack of compatibility: Divorcing couples may have different values, such as in parenting or religion, or even diverging political views. Or it might be that there are no common interests, and the relationship has stagnated, leaving one or both partners bored .
Irreconcilable differences: This is a legal term that people often cite as a catch-all for things like different parenting styles, different goals , different attitudes toward money, or a drifting apart as partners turn to others outside the marriage for friendship .
Money: Many couples have different relationships with money. This usually comes down to differing or conflicting attitudes toward earning, spending, saving, and sharing (charity).
Lack of communication: Often, couples will say, "We can't communicate," and this often means unproductive arguing, dishonesty, withdrawal (avoiding), or stonewalling (evasion). This is sometimes about communication skills, but often it masks deeper underlying problems that couples are avoiding or afraid to talk about.
Constant conflict: Intense and frequent fighting is toxic to a marriage. Couples argue about many different things and often argue about the same things over and over, without resolution. This may be due to power struggles, lack of equality or balance in the relationship, or lack of role clarity.
Infidelity: When there is an affair, the wound is deep. Whether it can be healed or not depends on the partners' willingness to work hard to repair and/or forgive .
Lack of intimacy: Couples may complain that there is not enough sex, or that there are sexual dysfunctions. Lack of libido or lack of attraction is often cited as long-term problems. However, intimacy extends beyond the bedroom. Emotional closeness, trust, and respect are the glue that holds couples together, and if this intimacy fades, it might be acted out in the bedroom.
Getting married too young: People seeking divorce often say that they were not ready or prepared for a long-term commitment. Some say they got married for the "wrong reasons," such as wanting to leave home or their parents' pressure to marry. Clients have told me, "He checked all the boxes, but I didn't really love him."
Abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, fiduciary): People will seek divorce when the abuse becomes intolerable unless it isn't safe to leave the marriage due to potential violence. The abuse is usually targeted toward one of the partners, but often toward one or more of the children as well. In extreme cases, the abused partner will need legal help to leave the marriage.
Addiction ( alcohol , drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, prescription medications): An addict's relationship with her addiction may be stronger than her relationship with her spouse. When the addict refuses treatment or relapses frequently, the relationship is threatened, and the marriage is unstable. Divorce often follows.

Other issues that are often cited as reasons for divorce:

Unrealistic expectations: One of the most common mistakes people make is expecting the other person to change after the wedding. "I really thought when he felt secure, he'd change, but nothing changed." When people have a long-distance relationship, they may feel they know each other well enough to marry: "We thought we knew each other, but we didn't."
Conflict with or intrusion by in-laws: The role of in-laws in marriage is often a point of contention. It can lead to not feeling protected: "I think I should come first," "She always chose her mother over our family's needs," "He was always competing with or criticizing my dad."
Weight gain: This has to do with a loss of attraction, and also perhaps a loss of respect if the spouse refuses to or can't lose weight. However, weight gain is usually a secondary problem, masking deeper problems in the relationship.
Loss of identity : When a spouse gives up a career to raise children, she can lose of sense of her own identity. There are other reasons for the perceived loss of identity, such as when one spouse is very successful or well-known: "I am sick of living in his shadow."
Unwilling to work on the marriage: If one partner feels there is a problem, then you both have a problem. However, I often hear spouses complain that "She refuses to go to counseling." Or, "We went to one session, and it didn't work."
Mental or physical illness or disability: When one partner develops a serious disability or mental or physical illness, her spouse necessarily becomes a caregiver . For some people, the role of the caregiver is simply unacceptable. The situation is so far from what he envisioned on their wedding day that he cannot imagine living in the relationship. He/she doesn't have the capacity to accept such a devastating change in their marriage. Of course, many do stay married and transition into the difficult, and often heroic, role of caregiver.

John Gottman's research found that pre-marital counseling often inoculates marriage against future divorce. His research also showed that by the time couples come to marital counseling, it is often too late. It may be a last-ditch effort to resuscitate the relationship, but someone is already "leaning out" of the marriage.

When you see signs of trouble, I suggest that you take steps immediately. If you sweep your concerns under the rug or assume that the problems will take care of themselves, you are inviting divorce into your life. If you and your spouse are willing to invest in the relationship, the inevitable problems that arise in marriage can often be resolved. Find an experienced marital therapist in your area to guide you through the tough times.

If you or your spouse decides to divorce, choose an amicable path, such as a "Collaborative Divorce." The adversarial route will cause many long-term problems. Remember, you once loved this person. Perhaps you still do. Divorce respectfully so that you can both heal and move on.

https://institutedfa.com/Leading-Causes-Divorce/

https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divo…

https://www.insider.com/why-people-get-divorced-2019-1

https://www.gottman.com/

Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D. , is the author of The Parent's Guide to Birdnesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce.

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There Are Many Reasons for Divorce, But Only 12 Legally Acceptable Ones

The reasons for divorce can be many, and varied, but they must boil down to what the court considers to be adequate legal grounds. You’re obligated to prove the irretrievable breakdown of your marriage, and it must fall into legally defined categories.

Common Grounds for At-Fault Divorces

The legal reasons for divorce can vary by state, but below are some of the most generally accepted grounds to file for at-fault divorce:

Adultery or cheating
Mental incapacity at the time of marriage
Marriage between close relatives
Impotence at the time of marriage
Force or fraud in obtaining the marriage
Criminal conviction and/or imprisonment
Mental or physical abuse
Drug or alcohol addiction
Mental illness

Again, check your state laws to be sure, but these are the most common grounds for divorce across various states.

You’ll be required to provide proof of misconduct during the court proceedings; so, be prepared. For example, if you’re divorcing on the grounds of adultery, you’ll need more than just a strong suspicion your spouse is sleeping around.

Filing for No-Fault Divorce

All states offer a form of no-fault divorce. However, you still need to file based on legal grounds. In no-fault cases, the grounds are commonly referred to by some of the following terms:

Irreconcilable differences
Incompatibility
Irretrievable breakdown

This is simply a formal way of saying you and your spouse have serious differences that have broken your marriage beyond your ability to repair it. No one is at fault, but you still want a divorce.

No-fault divorces are quite common and are usually the faster and simpler form of divorce proceedings. Because there is no burden of proof, the trials tend to be quicker and cheaper than their counterparts.

Deciding Between Filing for At-Fault or No-Fault Divorce

Making the right determination depends on a few factors. First, do you have hard proof of misconduct? If you don’t, filing for no-fault is going to be your only option. Similarly, if your budget is constrained, you may not want to endure the long, dragged-out process of an at-fault divorce.

However, in states where a spouse’s actions and misdeeds can influence the Court’s division of property and allocation of alimony, it may be worth bringing it up. For example, if your spouse lavished expensive gifts on his/her lover, you may want to ask the court to be reimbursed for the share of monies squandered as part of the final settlement.

Ultimately, you’re the only one who can decide what the right path is going to be for you. While you can certainly consult a lawyer about your options, the final decision will be yours.

How Should I Proceed?

Still have questions? You don’t have to wait to find answers about the reasons for divorce. Call (770) 475-2521 and speak with a Family Law Attorney in Cumming.

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Related posts, what are some tips for dealing with children and divorce to ease the process, what do i need to look for when i’m trying to find a divorce lawyer, revealing the best tips from top divorce lawyers, what do i need to do to petition for divorce from my estranged spouse, can social media posts be grounds for a modification of divorce.

Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session.

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

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1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce.

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others.

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship.

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Essays About Divorce: Divorce and its effects on my family

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families.

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher.

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Divorce statistics

Causes Of Divorce: 19 Of The Most Common Reasons

By Brette Sember, JD Updated Mar 15, 2024

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What are the most common reasons for divorce? Of course, this is a subjective question, as the reasons people get divorced are as varied as the reasons they fall in love.

However, certain issues arise more often: conflict, infidelity, poor communication, incompatibility, and a lack of romantic intimacy. Even though the overall divorce rate is decreasing among adults aged 16 to 65, approximately 45% of marriages in the US still end in divorce.

Read on to learn about the 19 most common reasons people decide to divorce.

What Are The Most Common Causes of Divorce?

According to various studies, the four most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.

The 19 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

1. too much conflict, incessant arguing.

Constant conflict, bitter battles, and going to bed angry every night are no one’s idea of a healthy marriage.

"How you handle conflict is the single most important predictor of whether your marriage will survive."

How long could you stick it out when your home – which is supposed to be your place of peace and release from the daily grind – is more stressful than your worst day at work? In a good marriage, your spouse is your partner, your shelter from the storm, and your number-one cheerleader when you’re down.

In a high-conflict marriage, your spouse is as emotionally dangerous as a terrible boss. Unless interrupted by marriage counseling or therapy, this negative spiral will continue downward until the only place left to go is divorce.

2. Lack of Commitment

A happy and healthy marriage requires commitment from both spouses. Unfortunately, it only takes one spouse with a lack of commitment to the relationship to doom the marriage. If one partner isn’t fully committed to the other, then the marriage will eventually suffer.

Sometimes, the spouse who is still committed to the relationship believes they can singlehandedly save their marriage if they work harder at it. After all, if they put in 200% while their spouse puts in 0%, that equals 100% – right?

When their marriage inevitably ends, after the shock and disbelief have worn off, their rage at being used and taken for granted during the relationship may lead to a very difficult divorce.

3. Infidelity / Extramarital Affairs

Being cheated on by the person who vowed to remain faithful to you forever is a bitter pill to swallow, and most people consider this to be an unforgivable offense. Infidelity doesn’t always lead to divorce, but it does destroy how you see your relationship.

Discovering that your spouse has been engaging in an extramarital affair makes you ask three questions:

Can my marriage survive this betrayal?
Can I ever trust my spouse/partner again?
Am I willing to work on my marriage, or is my partner’s infidelity the last straw?

The answer to these questions depends on whether both of you are willing and able to repair your relationship – almost certainly with the help of a marriage and family therapist (MFT) .

To rescue your relationship, you will have to forgive your partner – and your partner will have to make a genuine apology and commit to acting to end their cheating for good. If you have been drifting apart, focus on reconnecting rather than pointing fingers and playing the blame game.

4. Lack of Emotional and/or Physical Intimacy

Emotional and physical intimacy “grease the wheels” of a smooth-running relationship. When they’re gone, however, serious relationship issues often take their place.

Communication breakdown, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, infidelity, and greatly diminished self-esteem are some of the most serious issues – and left untreated, they can irreparably damage a relationship and pave the road to divorce.

When emotional intimacy is low or non-existent, your sex life will probably suffer as well. When you feel emotionally distant or disconnected from your spouse, your marriage may become a sexless one.

To reignite the spark, try to remember why you fell in love with your spouse and consciously view them through those lenses.

Also, think about what you used to love doing together and carve out time to do those things together again. Spending quality time doing something you both enjoy can help rebuild emotional intimacy, leading to physical intimacy.

Emotional and physical intimacy is like super-glue to strengthen your love and marriage bonds.

5. Communication Problems Between Partners

A breakdown in the lines of communication is one of the biggest predictors of divorce. Couples who don’t communicate well cannot resolve issues together and tend to suffer more misunderstandings and hurt feelings than those who have learned how to resolve conflict respectfully.

Good communication is physical as well as verbal, and it is required for almost everything in a good relationship, including sex, a couple’s finances, whether or not to have children, areas of disagreement, and other sensitive topics unhappy couples deem too dangerous to discuss.

An inability to communicate turns problem-solving sessions into shouting matches, which will eventually kill love, intimacy, and respect in your relationship.

To make it through the inevitable tough times, you must be willing and able to talk about what’s wrong or not working and decide how to resolve these issues together.

“Being able to communicate well requires both good transmission skills (articulation) and good receptive skills (listening). Without both, communication will be, at best, difficult.”

6. Domestic Violence: Abuse by a Partner or Parent

Domestic violence can include any act of tangible or threatened abuse – including verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, and/or economic abuse. In such a relationship, one person gains or maintains power over their partner via a pattern of abusive behavior.

This abuse can be directed solely at a spouse, or it can also involve one or more children of the marriage. If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911 now!

For 24/7 confidential help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

In October 2022, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline) merged to form Project Opal .

For more resources, visit: https://ncadv.org/get-help

7. Opposing Values or Morals

There have been literal wars fought over differences in race, religion, nationality, and culture – and persecution based on all of these, plus gender, sexuality, and even which political party someone supports.

When two spouses have or develop opposing values and/or morals, and neither can or is willing to see things from their spouse’s point of view, the marriage is likely to end in divorce.

She believes in a woman’s right to choose, and he believes life begins at conception; his best friend is gay, and his wife is homophobic. They fell in love despite their religious difference, but those differences are tearing them apart now that they have children.

When you’re in love, you tend to overlook or rationalize red flags that your core values and morals are too different for a healthy relationship – but when the rose-colored glasses come off, those differences make it difficult or impossible to sustain a happy marriage.

8. Addiction: Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, or Sex

There are many different types and degrees of addiction, and many top professionals – politicians, businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, portfolio managers, actors, and athletes, to name a few – have been able to hide their addiction successfully as they rose to the top.

Their spouses may be blissfully unaware, willing to look the other way in return for lifestyle/economic benefits, or gaslighted into believing they’re crazy to suspect their spouse’s addiction. No matter how the moment of truth arrives, it is always shattering.

Whether the marriage can survive depends on several factors – including the addict’s willingness and ability to take responsibility for their addiction, a genuine desire to seek treatment, and a lifelong commitment to recovery.

9. Absence of Romantic Intimacy or Love

This one is far too common given how busy and stressful our lives are – especially when you add driving the kids to football/hockey/baseball/ballet/orchestra/theater/choir practice before and after school into the mix.

Too many couples prioritize everything except their relationships, and then one partner is blindsided when the other says, “I want a divorce.” Contrary to popular belief, romantic love is not self-sustaining: without carving out quality time for intimacy and fun as a couple – not just as a family – love withers like a plant without water or sunshine.

Create a weekly carved-in-stone date night. For example, go to bed, wake up earlier, and use the time for daily physical (cuddling and/or sex) and emotional intimacy. Remember what you loved doing while you were dating, then start doing those things again before it’s too late!

10. One Spouse Not Carrying Their Weight in the Marriage

We all know marriages like this: both spouses work full-time, but only one of them takes responsibility for grocery shopping and cooking, household chores, and child-rearing.

Over time, the spouse whose work doesn’t end when they get home can build up a powerful resentment against the other, and unless the situation is addressed and rectified, the marriage could spiral down into divorce.

Sit down and list everything that needs to be done to keep the household running smoothly. Then, place a name beside each task, making sure to divide the chores equitably.

Don’t forget to add your children’s names to tasks they are old enough to tackle or help with – from setting the table to washing the dishes to mowing the lawn to vacuuming the carpets.

“Not carrying your weight” extends to romance and intimacy; if one partner is the only one making romantic gestures, arranging date nights, or initiating sex, that will also take a toll on the marriage.

11. Financial Problems and Debt

Money has been tight for many couples over the last few years. Arguments about money can become nasty and vindictive – and if a couple lacks the communication skills to discuss their financial problems calmly and rationally, that can be a reason for divorce.

In a marriage, financial problems are not limited to carrying massive debt and/or being unable to cover necessities. When the way spouses think about money and debt – no matter how much or how little of it they actually have – are fundamentally incompatible, it can also cause the breakdown of a marriage.

If financial problems are your main issue, consider hiring an expert specializing in financial divorce issues. They could save money by recommending the most efficient property division, tax, and support strategies.

A divorce financial analyst can also provide scenarios extrapolating your cash flow and net worth 5, 10, or even 20 years into the future if you choose Settlement A vs. Settlement B.

12. Marrying Too Young

A study from the University of Utah suggests that the perfect age to get married is between 28 and 32 . This is because those who marry young most likely don’t fully grasp marriage. This could be a reason why a lot of young married couples get divorced.

About 46% of couples who get married young get divorced. Also, 48% of couples who marry before they turn 18 are most likely to get divorced in 10 years, compared to 25% of people who marry after the age of 25.

13. Lack of Shared Interests / Incompatibility Between Partners

Opposites may attract, but similarities are what bind. With no shared interests, you will either start spending less and less time with your spouse as you pursue your hobbies and passions or give them up in favor of your spouse’s interests.

Both of these strategies will build resentment and weaken the bond you share. If you hope to stay together, you will likely need marriage counseling and a willingness to compromise.

For example, if he loves bowling and she loves dancing, he could bowl with his buddies on Thursdays while she goes dancing with her girlfriends – and then they identify something they both love and do that on “Friday date night.”

This applies to every area of your shared life, from household chores to choosing which extracurricular activities their children will do. If you cannot reach a compromise that both of you can commit to, your incompatibility may lead to divorce.

14. Religious Differences

Religious beliefs and practices play a pivotal role in shaping an individual's worldview, values, and daily rituals.

When two partners come from different religious backgrounds, it can sometimes lead to disagreements on fundamental life choices, from dietary habits to child-rearing practices.

While many interfaith couples find ways to blend their beliefs and traditions, for others harmoniously, the differences can become a source of recurring conflict. The challenge often lies in reconciling deeply held beliefs and finding common ground, especially during significant life events or ceremonies.

In some cases, external pressures from family or the broader community can exacerbate these differences.

Religious differences can significantly lead to marital discord without open communication and mutual respect.

15. Parenting Differences

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging responsibilities a couple can undertake together.

Differences in parenting styles, stemming from individual upbringings, personal beliefs, or cultural backgrounds, can become a significant source of tension in a marriage. While one partner might advocate for a more disciplined approach, the other might lean towards a lenient and nurturing style.

These disparities can lead to disagreements, ranging from education choices to setting boundaries and disciplinary actions. As children grow and navigate different life stages, these differences can become more pronounced, especially if not addressed early on.

Effective co-parenting requires open communication, compromise, and a unified front. Without these, parenting differences can strain the marital relationship, leading to deeper misunderstandings and conflicts.

16. External Family Pressures

Marriage often means merging two families, bringing along a mix of expectations and traditions. External pressures from in-laws, cultural differences, or unsolicited advice can strain a marriage.

Balancing the couple's needs with extended family demands is crucial. Without clear boundaries and open communication, these pressures can lead to resentment, potentially pushing a couple toward divorce.

17. Unrealistic Expectations

Every individual enters marriage with a set of expectations, often shaped by personal experiences, societal norms, or portrayals in media. While some expectations are reasonable, others can be unrealistic, setting the stage for disappointment and conflict.

Whether it's about roles in the household, financial achievements, or emotional support, when reality doesn't align with these lofty ideals, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment. For a marriage to thrive, it's essential for partners to communicate openly, adjust expectations, and understand that perfection is unattainable.

Unrealistic expectations, if unchecked, can become a silent threat to marital harmony.

18. Trust Issues

Trust is the bedrock of any strong relationship, and its absence can create deep fissures in the foundation of a marriage. Trust issues can stem from past betrayals, misunderstandings, or personal insecurities.

Whether it's doubts about fidelity, financial decisions, or even smaller daily matters, a lack of trust can lead to constant second-guessing and surveillance. This atmosphere of suspicion can stifle open communication and intimacy.

For a marriage to overcome trust issues, it often requires open dialogue, understanding, and sometimes professional counseling. If not addressed, persistent trust issues can erode the bond between partners, making reconciliation challenging.

19. Supporting Each Other's Goals

In a marriage, individual aspirations don't disappear; they intertwine with shared dreams.

Supporting each other's goals is pivotal for mutual growth and fulfillment. When one partner feels their ambitions are sidelined or undervalued, it can lead to feelings of resentment and stagnation.

Whether it's career advancements, personal passions, or educational pursuits, acknowledging and championing these aspirations strengthens the marital bond. Conversely, neglecting or undermining a partner's goals can create a rift, making one feel unsupported or isolated.

Successful marriages often thrive on mutual respect and encouragement, ensuring both partners feel valued in their pursuits.

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The Main Causes of Divorce

This essay will discuss the primary causes of divorce in contemporary society. It will explore factors such as communication breakdown, financial issues, infidelity, and differences in values or goals. The piece will analyze how these factors contribute to marital dissolution and the impact of divorce on families. More free essay examples are accessible at PapersOwl about Divorce.

How it works

Married with someone is an important decision of everyone life, so most people think carefully before they get married, and they all expect they will have a longevity married. However, some couples could not maintain their relationship after living together anymore, so they get a divorce which is one of the way to solve the problems between wife and husband. There are many reasons lead to couples’ divorce, but in my opinion, there are three main causes of divorce are infidelity, weak communication skill, and unrealistic expectations.

The first significant cause of divorce is infidelity which is the act of being unfaithful to a wife or husband by having other special relationship. As everyone knows, marriage is a relationship based on faith, belief and feelings for each other. When a spouse betrays this trust, it causes pain and suffering to the other partner. In addition, no one wants to share a wife or husband to another person. It is unacceptable to some people, so they could not forgive to their wife or husband if their spouse cheat on them. Due to the pain and the unacceptable when the partner are not faithful, couples decide to divorce to escape each other. This is why infidelity becomes one of the leading factors cause to divorce.

Another cause of divorce is communication skill. Communication is essential for healthy and lasting relationships, so when couples are lack of communication, it can make them boring and misunderstanding. For example, after more than five years together, my ant and her husband found their marriage on the brink because my ant used of the silent treatment whenever problems arose or whenever she was not satisfied with her husband. She admitted that her poor communication made her husband confuse what she wanted or what she did not want him to do for her, and the distance about feeling between them slowly become bigger. Consequently, they decided to divorce. In contrast, too much arguing is also destroying a marrige. In fact, arguing is a nomal action in the family life because arguing helps to solve the problem, but some people do not think that. They argue with their spouse just because they want to become a winner eventhough their reason do not make any sense. Then their little problems expand to big problems, resulting in divorce. Therefore, either too talkative or too quiet can lead to divorce.

Beside the infidelity and communication skill lead to divorce, the unrealistic expectations to spouses is the third cause of divorce. Men and women both have a lot of expectation from their marriage. Some expectations are important such as the respect, the honesty, or the kindness, but some are unrealistic. For instance, men expect their spouse can keep the nice body shape like the day they first date, or women hope their man have a lot of money to buy them expensive stuffs. However, the reality is not like they expect. Indeed, women after give birth they will have more work to do, so they do not have much time to take care of themselves like before, so they will gain their weight or they are getting older. Man are the same situation, they will have more thing to spend their money such as their children stuffs or their house expenses, so their wife will be no more gotten the luxury gift from them. These expectations can put a lot of strain on the other partners, and leaving the spouse feeling disappointed; as a result, that can ruin the marriage relationship.

No marriage is easy, and to keep the healthy and longevity relationship is even more difficult. I believe that cheating on spouse, having bad communication skill, and expecting too high on spouse are cause to the divorce. Divorce is painful, so people need to think more carefully before they are getting maried, and getting divorce as well.

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Argumentative Essay on Divorce: Examining the Pros and Cons

Essay Online

Divorce is a topic that often sparks heated debate, making it a perfect subject for an argumentative essay . While some argue that divorce can be a necessary step towards personal happiness and well-being, others believe it has detrimental effects on families and society. This article explores various perspectives on divorce, presenting arguments both for and against, to help readers form a balanced view.

https://eduessy.uk/2024/06/01/argumentative-essay-on-divorce/

The Impact of Divorce on Families

1. Personal Happiness and Well-Being: One of the most compelling arguments in favor of divorce is the potential for personal happiness and mental health. Staying in an unhappy or abusive marriage can have serious psychological consequences. Divorce can provide individuals with a fresh start and the opportunity to find a more fulfilling life.

2. Better Environment for Children: Contrary to the belief that divorce always harms children, some studies suggest that children can thrive in a happier, more peaceful environment post-divorce. If parents are constantly fighting, the toxic atmosphere can negatively impact children’s development. A divorce, in this case, can lead to healthier relationships between parents and children.

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Essay Samples on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and deeply personal process that involves the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks the end of a once-promising union and triggers a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and newfound independence. Understanding the intricacies of divorce and its effects is crucial when writing college essays about divorce.

How to Write College Essays About Divorce

When exploring the subject of divorce, it is important to delve into the factors that contribute to its occurrence and look at college essays about divorce examples. These can include communication issues, incompatibility, domestic abuse, financial strain, or even external factors such as societal expectations or cultural norms. Discussing these causes helps paint a comprehensive picture of the complexities surrounding divorce.

To provide a well-rounded perspective for an example of college essay about divorce, consider including statistics or research findings related to divorce rates, average durations of marriages, or common age groups affected by divorce. This data can help support your arguments and provide a factual foundation for your essay.

Additionally, it is crucial to examine the legal aspects of divorce. Different jurisdictions have specific laws and regulations governing the process, including property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation rights. Incorporating information about these legal frameworks can add depth to your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of divorce proceedings.

While divorce can be emotionally challenging, it also offers opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Discuss the psychological and emotional impacts divorce can have on individuals, as well as strategies for coping and rebuilding one’s life after the end of a marriage.

Lastly, explore the societal implications of divorce. Analyze how divorce impacts the perception of marriage, family structures, and gender roles. Consider the evolving attitudes towards divorce in different cultures and how society supports or stigmatizes individuals going through this process in the divorce essay example.

Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

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Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

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Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

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The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

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The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

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Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

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Why Divorces Become More Frequent: Research Study

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Best topics on Divorce

1. Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

2. Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

3. Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

4. The Effects Of Divorce On Children

5. The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

6. The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

7. The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

8. The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

9. The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

10. The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

11. Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

12. My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn’t Be Legalized

13. Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

14. Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

15. Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

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Online Divorce

What Causes Divorce? 8 Common Reasons Marriages End

Whether you’re just curious or thinking of your own marital challenges, here’s a look at what research has to say about the most common causes of divorce..

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Social scientists and other scholars have long studied the issue of what leads to divorce. Some have looked at easily measured factors that make divorce more likely, such as the age when people get married. But other researchers have gone right to the source: asking divorced people why they think their marriages ended.

We compared the results from several of the best studies (see details below), compiled a list of the top eight causes of divorce, and ranked them according to how often study participants said those issues were an important reason their marriage ended.

Before we get to the list, it's important to point out the obvious: There's usually more than one reason a couple gets divorced (which is why percentages for answers add up to more than 100%), and those reasons are often intertwined. For example, people are more likely to have extramarital affairs when they're experiencing other problems in their marriage, and communication problems exacerbate issues like money disputes. Another complicating factor that won't surprise you is that couples often disagree about what caused their breakup.

Still, it can be helpful to learn what other people say about why their marriages ended, with the benefit of hindsight. And if you're hoping to avoid the same outcome, it can help to recognize when signs of these problems show up in your own marriage.

1. Lack of Commitment
2. Incompatibility and Growing Apart
3. Communication Problems
4. Extramarital Affairs
5. Financial Incompatibility: Money Disagreements
6. Substance Abuse
7. Domestic Abuse
8. Conflicts Over Family Responsibilities
Some Divorce Reasons Matter More Than Others

In several studies that asked people to choose from a list of important reasons for their divorce, lack of commitment came out at the top of the list. (As many as 85% of participants in one study gave this answer.) Interestingly enough, another study showed lack of commitment was also the reason couples were most likely to agree on—although one spouse usually blamed the other for not working harder to save the marriage.

Lack of commitment can seem vague and hard to prove (or disprove), especially to the person who's being blamed for the problem. The outward signs are often related to other reasons for divorce, like extramarital affairs, not being willing to talk about the relationship, and not working toward shared financial goals. That's probably why so many people point to a lack of commitment as a significant cause of divorce—because they see it as the issue underlying a range of more obvious problems.

All those lawmakers who settled on "irreconcilable differences" as the basic ground for no-fault divorce were on to something. When asked why their marriages ended, a significant proportion of divorced people answer with some variation of "we grew apart," "we drifted apart," or "we were just incompatible" (up to 55% in one study). This concept of incompatibility could include other divorce reasons that came up in various studies, such as:

a lack of shared values
marrying too young (which makes growing apart more likely)
sexual difficulties, and
religious differences.

Of course, many couples live with and even relish their differences. But most successful marriages are based on a core of shared (or at least overlapping) interests, priorities, and values. Outward signs of incompatibility often go hand in hand with other common reasons for divorce—especially poor communication, which is next on the list.

Around 50% of participants in various studies cited reasons for divorce that had to do with poor communication, like arguing too much and not being able to talk to each other. Here again, communication problems can be the cause of other reasons people give for divorce, such as conflict over money and family responsibilities.

It's not hard to recognize when you're arguing all the time with your spouse. But even if the fights aren't that frequent or nasty, keep an eye out for repeated arguments about the same thing or disagreements that never really get resolved. That can be a sign that you need help learning how to communicate with each other more effectively, perhaps through couple's therapy.

Although infidelity (or adultery) came up in every study we reviewed, its frequency among the reasons given for divorce varied from about 20% in one study to 60% in others.

This wide range could be a reflection of the fact that at least some divorced people consider an affair as just the last straw after a string of other marital problems. Those other problems might be the reason someone goes outside the marriage for intimacy, excitement, or distraction—or even as an unconscious way of provoking the other spouse into calling an end to the marriage.

In different studies, about 40% of people said that financial problems—in particular, complaints about how their ex-spouse handled money—were a major reason they got divorced. Fights over money are often referred to as "financial incompatibility," because they usually stem from differences in priorities and values around financial decisions.

Signs that you and your spouse are financially incompatible include when:

one of you keeps secrets or even outright lies about purchases or other financial decisions (like making investments or withdrawing money from savings)
one of you doesn't consult the other before making large purchases or taking other steps that affect your joint finances
you can't talk regularly (and calmly) about your finances
the two of you can't or won't set joint financial goals (like budgeting and saving to buy a house, have kids, or build a retirement nest egg), and
you set financial goals together but one of you keeps subverting them.

Not surprisingly, research has shown that couples with lower incomes are more likely to cite financial incompatibility as a major reason for getting divorced. When there's less to go around—and higher stress about being able to pay bills—there's likely to be more fighting over money issues. And of course, no matter a couple's income level, fights about money and property continue during the divorce itself .

In various studies, between 10% and 35% of people said they divorced because of their spouse's drinking or drug problems.

There are many signs that your spouse could have a substance use disorder , including:

changes in sleep, appetite, and hygiene
secretive behavior
sudden mood swings
paranoia or other personality changes
neglecting work or family responsibilities
abandoning old friends or activities
an unexplained need for extra money, and
difficulties with attention or memory.

(Learn how alcohol and drug use affects custody decisions in divorce .)

Between 15% and 25% of participants in various studies listed domestic violence as an important reason for divorce. And in a study focusing on older divorced couples , more than a third of participants listed verbal, emotional, or physical abuse as one of the three main reasons for their divorce.

Women and men tend to have very different views of domestic abuse as a cause of divorce. In one national study, 42% of women—but only 9% of men—cited domestic violence as an important reason their marriage ended. That could be a reflection of the fact that women are much more likely than men to suffer intimate partner abuse , and that victims of abuse are more likely than abusers to see the behavior as the cause of divorce.

Learn about the effect of spousal abuse on divorce , the warning signs of relationship abuse and how to protect yourself when leaving an abusive relationship .

When some studies asked about the important reasons for divorce, about 20% of participants cited conflicts in their marriage over:

how to raise their kids
child care responsibilities, and/or
other family and household obligations.

It's worth noting that at least one study showed women were significantly more likely than men to cite these disputes as an important cause of their divorce. (In older studies that gave participants a checklist of reasons, the lists seldom included conflicts over family responsibilities—perhaps because many social scientists overlooked or made assumptions about gender roles in marriages between men and women.)

As we've noted, this list of top divorce reasons is based on our review of a number of research studies. It accounts for how often people, looking back at their own divorce, identified these as significant causes —not how severe the issues are when they happen. As one obvious example, any form of domestic violence is normally more serious than communication problems.

Couples who divorce after the age of 50, sometimes called a gray divorce , give additional reasons for ending their unions that range from empty nest syndrome to a spouse's serious health problems.

Of course, every marriage is unique, and the vast majority of couples face at least one of the problems on this list at some point in their relationship. But while some issues are more harmful than others (like domestic abuse and serious substance abuse disorders), most don't have to lead to divorce —as long as both spouses are willing to work together to save the marriage. That's probably why a lack of commitment was at the top of the list in multiple studies.

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April 10, 2017

Reasons people give for divorce.

Most people blame their exes, not themselves, for their divorce. Tweet This
Many marriages end when women become fed up with men behaving badly. Tweet This

What reasons do people give for divorcing? This is a different, simpler question than why marriages fail. In this post, I’m exploring the reasons people give about why they divorced by reviewing research reports that have addressed this question. 1 The five reports I mention rely on a variety of methods and types of samples, yet yield similar answers across different samples, methods, and eras.

In a 2003 study, Paul Amato and Denise Previti used data from the “Marital Instability Over the Life Course” project, which is based on a national survey of men and women in 1980 and 1997. 2 Those who divorced were asked, “What do you think caused the divorce?” The open-ended responses were coded into categories, with the top reasons for divorcing being:

Incompatibility
Drinking or drug use
Growing apart

In 2001, a group of family scholars, including myself, conducted a large, random, statewide phone survey in Oklahoma. 3 We interviewed over 2000 people and asked those who had been divorced to choose among nine “major” reasons for divorcing, with the list being developed by the researchers ahead of time, based on our knowledge of the literature. The top three reasons people gave were:

A lack of commitment
Too much conflict or arguing
Infidelity or extramarital affairs

These reasons were followed by “getting married too young,” “little or no helpful premarital preparation,” and “financial problems or economic hardship.” The reports of marrying too young likely overlap with the general category of incompatibility, since this is one of the risks of marrying very young: people often do not know themselves or what they expect and desire in a mate at age 18. Amato and Previti presenting findings in support of this point, finding that incompatibility was more commonly reported as a reason for divorce among those who had married young than those who had married when a little older.

Infidelity is on both lists covered so far (and on every list coming up). Clearly, that is a sub-category of commitment problems, so commitment is a major theme in both reports I’ve mentioned thus far. For some, infidelity is the main reason their marriage ended, and for others, infidelity is something that happened at the end of years of other problems, such as nasty conflicts, incompatibility, and substance abuse.

I Blame You

Amato and Previti found that more people blamed their ex for their marriage ending (33%) than blamed themselves (5%). Similarly, in the report from the survey in Oklahoma, we found that most people (73%) believed that they had worked hard enough on their marriage but that their ex-spouse should have worked harder (74%). As in Amato and Previti, we see that most people who have divorced believe their ex is more to blame.

Reasons for Divorce and Final Straws

A study published in 2013 by Shelby Scott, Galena Rhoades, Scott Stanley, Elizabeth Allen, and Howard Markman used a multi-year, longitudinal sample of couples marrying who participated in premarital preparation between the years 1995 and 2001 through their religious organizations. 4 After following this sample for many years, the team contacted those who had divorced and interviewed those who responded (52 respondents) about their reasons, using the same list used by Johnson and colleagues. These data are less representative than other samples I cite here, but what the study lacked in sample size may be made up for in the depth of information. Researchers asked respondents not only about the major cause of divorce but also about the “final straw.” The top reported reasons for divorce were:

Lack of commitment
Conflict/arguing

That list looks pretty familiar, right? The most common final straws were:

Domestic violence
Substance abuse

Scott and colleagues made an important distinction in that the reasons why a marriage declines, leading to an end, can be different from what finally breaks the back of one continuing. And when it comes to deciding a marriage is over, women are more likely than men to say it’s done (found by Amato and Previti and many others). In both Amato and Previti’s study, and in the report by Johnson and colleagues, women were more likely than men to report a marriage ending because of abuse. I recall a talk by Amato, years ago, where he noted that, on average, many marriages end when women become fed up with men behaving badly. Clearly, plenty of women behave badly also, as many divorced men will attest. Nevertheless, it is a common scenario where one partner (more often the man) exhibits behavior that the other partner (more often the woman) finally decides is too much to bear. In his talk, Amato described the same deal breakers identified by Scott and colleagues as final straws. Similarly, Johnson and colleagues reported the top reasons men and women gave for divorcing and found that the answers were mostly the same except that women were far more likely (44%) than men (8%) to report that domestic violence was a major reason for the split.

For some, infidelity is the main reason their marriage ended, and for others, infidelity is something that happened at the end of years of other problems, such as nasty conflicts, incompatibility, and substance abuse.

In 2004, AARP put out a report based on a large, national survey of older adults, aged 40 and up, on reasons for the divorces they experienced in their 40s, 50s, or 60s. The survey appears to be representative and used excellent methods. 5 Cutting to the chase (because time is of the essence when you are older), people reported these top reasons for divorcing:

Abuse: verbal, physical, or emotional
Differing values and lifestyles

Runner up was “simply falling out of love/no obvious problems.” So, the older set, who now account for a lot of divorce, 6 give reasons for divorce that are very similar to the reasons found in the other reports covered here.

In a study published in 2012, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, and William Doherty (2012) 7 reported reasons for divorce in the only study I cover here that was not retrospective. As part of the extensive work that Bill Doherty, Steven Harris, and colleagues have been doing about the possibility of reconciliations after filing—but before finalizing—divorce, Hawkins, Willoughby, and Doherty reported reasons people gave for ending a marriage within a sample of 886 individual parents who were in the process of divorcing. These parents were involved in mandated parenting classes as part of the legal system in Hennepin County, Minnesota. They found the two most common reasons for divorcing to be:

Not being able to talk together

People who were the least likely to entertain putting the brakes on a divorce reported growing apart, differences in tastes, and money problems. In an interesting twist, given the other findings noted here, abuse and infidelity were not reasons for divorcing that were associated with how much interest someone had in potentially reconciling the marriage.

Having My Baby: Or Not

There is a lot of consistency across these studies but might there be other reasons emerging as the deal breakers in the current era? While not a study, Vicki Larson ( @OMGchronicles ) recently tweeted about the observations of attorneys in a New York Post piece suggesting that conflicts over having children have become a major cause of divorce. Both I ( @DecideOrSlide ) and Nicholas Wolfinger ( @nickwolfinger ) tweeted that we did not know of research supporting this point. Nevertheless, Larson and I agreed that this is likely to be a growing reason for divorcing. I believe this to be the case for two reasons.

First, I think people are more likely than ever before to slide into important relationships—including marriage and parenting—without making clear decisions about a future together. That means more and more relationships that are poorly vetted. (In fact, if you are single and want more advice on this, try this article .)

Second, incompatibility has often been given as a reason for divorcing, and different family aspirations could easily become a major driver in this category as having children has become less of a default expectation in marriage. Whether or not two spouses were likely to be good parents, or to attempt to be, most married couples in the past had children. Now, like everything else, this is much less a given and much more a (potential) negotiation (when not a slide).

It Takes Two to Tango

While no one can anticipate all the changes and circumstances that will impact a marriage in the future, singles interested in marriage do well to make the best choices they can at the start in preparing for a successful marriage (read more, here ). And those who are married and happy who want to avoid divorce in the future have ways to strengthen and build on what they have (read more, here .) We all know that it takes two people to make a good marriage last. One person cannot make it happen without the other person also being willing to invest and grow. As mentioned already, it’s easiest after the fact for each individual to believe that their ex is the one who failed the dance. But to make a marriage last, it’s going to work best if each spouse is focused on the mantra my colleague Howard Markman and I push: “do your part.”

I am sure there are other studies bearing on this subject, but it is obvious that there is a convergence in reasons people give for their marriages ending. The individual stories will be varied and complex but the basic themes remain: broken hearts and deal breakers.

Scott M. Stanley is a research professor at the University of Denver and a fellow of the Institute for Family Studies.

1. This is not intended to be a systematic review. It is a brief review based on the studies I know about.

2. Amato, P. R., & Previti, D. (2003). People's reasons for divorcing . Journal of Family Issues , 24, 602-626.

3. Johnson, C. A., Stanley, S. M., Glenn, N. D., Amato, P. A., Nock, S. L., Markman, H. J., & Dion, M. R. (2002). Marriage in Oklahoma: 2001 baseline statewide survey on marriage and divorce (S02096 OKDHS). Oklahoma City, OK: Oklahoma Department of Human Services.

4. Scott, S. B., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Allen, E. S., & Markman, H. J. (2013) Reasons for divorce and recollections of premarital intervention: Implications for improving relationship education . Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice , 2(2), 131-145.

5. The work was conducted by Knowledge Networks, which is a sign of typically excellent survey methods.

6. Brown, S. L., & Lin, I. (2012). The gray divorce revolution: Rising divorce among middle-aged and older adults , 1990-2010. Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences & Social Sciences , 67(6), 731-741.

7. Hawkins, Willoughby, & Doherty (2012). Reasons for divorce and openness to marital reconciliation. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage , 53, 453–463.; See also Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., & Wickel Didericksen, K. (2016) A typology of attitudes toward proceeding with divorce among parents in the divorce process . Journal of Divorce & Remarriage , 57(1), 1-11.

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12 Of The Most Common Reasons For Divorce, According To The Experts

And you might not even be familiar with some of them.

Bride and groom figurines standing on two separated slices of wedding cake

Breaking up is hard to do, but divorce? That takes the cake. All kinds of things can lead to a split, from the token celebrity-cited “irreconcilable differences” to a messy affair, or the loss of anything remotely close to the spark you felt in the good old days.

And often, the reason you cross the line from forever to never again traces back to your dating days. “Sometimes people want a divorce for the same reason they might have had doubts of going into the relationship,” Elizabeth Cohen , PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York says. “It’s usually the things that bothered you before, they just compounded over so long that you know it’s not going to change.”

Of course, you presumably wanted to be together (at least at some point) if you got married. But it’s hard as hell for people to change in the ways you may need them to in order to maintain a healthy marriage where both of you can ~thrive~. That’s why getting a divorce can feel like a slow burn. “It’s likely the decision comes after years and years of contemplating and trying to make the marriage work,” says Erin Levine , family law attorney and founder of Hello Divorce , a legal assistance platform.

While the reasons for a divorce are unique to the relationship, here are the issues that a divorce lawyer and psychologist say pop up most often:

1. Communication Problems

The crux of any relationship is communication, Cohen says. Sure, you typically hear reasons for divorce like money disagreements, commitment issues and the other things in this list, but Levine reminds us that these problems are also rooted in a breakdown of communication.

If you can’t talk your ish out in a way both partners understand, all that’s left is an unproductive argument and growing resentment. “Your behavior might not match what your partner needs,” Cohen says. That’s why divorce often waits at the bottom of that slippery slope.

2. Falling Out Of Love

According to a study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , nearly half of recently divorced respondents cited a lack of love or intimacy as the reason for their separation. Instead of one big betrayal, sometimes just growing apart and losing your romantic feelings can end a marriage. “There’s this overarching feeling of distance that happens over time,” Cohen says.

3. There’s No Intimacy

Along with the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” realization, a dormant bedroom life is also a factor for divorce . There’s nothing shameful about a dry spell, but a lack of physical affection—sexy times and long bear hugs included—can cause serious disconnect. “People start telling themselves like, ‘Okay, well the lack of intimacy, I can handle that.’ But ultimately it just becomes too much for them” Levine says.

4. It’s Not A Partnership Anymore

People come to Levine’s practice saying that they’ve felt misunderstood and unheard in the marriage. “They tell me, ‘Here I am in a relationship and it feels like I’m all alone,’” she says. Though they might have full and exciting personal lives, they'll feel like they're no longer working as a unit with their spouse, whether that's because their priorities for the future of shifted or because they realize they simply don't have much in common with their partners anymore. That disconnect and loneliness can be reason enough for divorce.

5. You Weren’t Ready For Marriage

“Similarity between two partners helps predict who stays together and who doesn't,” says Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship and professor at Oakland University. “If you marry too early, or haven’t been able to identify who you are and what’s important to you, then you can’t choose the best partner.” While you want to be in it for the long haul, maybe you rushed down the aisle or weren’t fully in tune with yourself when you said “I do”. That’s when a crop of clashes—think: differing values, emotional baggage from past flings, and a lack of real trust—pop up and put you on the road to divorce.

6. Addiction

When the National Center for Biotechnology Information asked 52 people what contributed to their divorce in 2013, a third of them named substance abuse a factor that contributed to the end of their marriages. Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, or another damaging vice, Levine notes that substance abuse is often a factor in divorces she sees in her practice. If a partner doesn’t want to get help or they become a threat to their partner’s safety, it’s often a straw that breaks the camel’s back.

7. Domestic Abuse

Abuse, from physical harm to emotional manipulation like a partner withdrawing affection as punishment, leaves people feeling powerless. Separating from the abusive partner—in a safe and supported way—is the best way to regain your safety. Abuse differs from other causes for divorce in that “it’s not a relationship issue, but something that is within your partner," Orbuch says. In the same NCBI study, around a quarter of respondents said domestic violence led to their divorce.

8. Cheating

Without trust, what’s left? An affair can feel like the ultimate betrayal and sign that healthy communication skidded to a halt a long time ago. While Cohen notes that it can be possible to move past the infidelity together, it’s a toughie. Most of the time? It’s the moment that causes a partner to officially dip out.

9. Lack Of Emotional Support

“The breakdown in communication often leads to people feeling desperate, so they criticize or get angry or make demands,” Levine says. “Nobody wants to be around that or that energy.” Cohen agrees, noting she speaks to many divorced women who felt undermined, disrespected, and like they weren’t a priority in the marriage. Once empathy and compassion for one another take a nosedive, “it’s very hard to come back together,” Cohen says.

10. They’re Just Done

“People in long-term marriages are generally not just walking out on their marriages for the heck of it,” Levine says. “These are people who tried to save their marriages for years and years, and it just didn’t work out.” You’ve put in so much work to give the relationship new life, but your partner hasn’t shown the same effort. Once it becomes clear that things aren’t going to change, people pull the plug. Every little thing builds up contempt or resentment, until one morning you wake up like: “Here are your divorce papers, my guy.”

11. Financial Issues

How (and when) you spend it, save it, or make it, money is one of those things that can easily trigger tension in a marriage. Disagreements about finances make matters dicey, especially when it gets in the way of working together as a team, Cohen says. Someone might think their partner spends too much, another might be worried about their partner's debt, and, in some cases, couples can't compromise about what to spend their money on. Over time, the strain gets to be too much. What’s mine was once yours, but not anymore.

12. Lost Sense Of Self

We are fluid beings, and what you want can change over the course of a 20-year marriage. “Very often in relationships, a partner has been sacrificing what they want and need for the sake of keeping the marriage together,” Cohen says. Whether that’s passing up a job opportunity or getting lost in the role of “Mom,” the marriage could take you down a path you don’t identify with all that much anymore. It’s one thing to compromise, but it’s another to lose sight of your individuality completely. If you do, you might resent your partner and want out.

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Persuasive & Argumentative Essays about Divorce: Free Tips

A divorce is a life-changing experience that affects spouses and their children (if there are any). Since divorce rates are relatively high in modern society, more and more people face this problem nowadays.

When you are assigned to compose an argumentative essay about divorce, you should be as careful as possible. Remember that the split-up of marriage can be a painful experience for everyone involved.

The article will give you useful advice on how to write an outstanding paper on the topic. Learn the essential features of the following types:

persuasive essay about divorce,
for and against essay,
causes and effects of divorce essay,

Check tips from Custom-writing.org below and write the best paper!

💍 How to Write It
📂 Essays by Type
✒ Causes and Effects

✍️ Divorce Essay Topics

💍 how to write a divorce essay.

The general structure of essays on divorce is quite common:

introduction;
conclusion.

Yet, there are some variations of what info to include in the body, depending on the essay type. The following structure is applicable for divorce argumentative essay. To learn about the features of other types, keep on reading our article.

Argumentative divorce essays are composed according to the standard structure:

1. Thesis Statement about Divorce

A divorce essay introduction isn’t anything extraordinary as you have to introduce your topic and position.

You should always give broad information about the issue and state the main problems you will discuss in your writing.
Make a general statement about the consequences of divorce or the common divorce effects on people.
Then write your thesis statement on divorce. Clearly explain to the audience the topic you’re going to discuss and your position on that topic. In case you find this task difficult, try using a thesis generator for argumentative essay . This will save you some time.

That’s it! Now your divorce essay introduction is ready.

What’s next?

2. Main Body

This section presents all of your ideas and arguments related to the topic of divorce.

Here you can write about the adverse effects of divorce on children or the most common reasons people divorce.
Use compelling arguments and support your ideas with examples.

There are tons of surveys and statistics about divorce on the internet, so it won’t be too challenging to gather the information you need.

3. Conclusion

In the last paragraph, you have to sum up your paper and leave a final expression.

Summarize every idea presented in your divorce essay.
Restate your thesis statement on divorce, relying on your reasoning.
Then list your concluding thoughts on this topic.

Make your sentences clear and easy to follow. Use synonyms to improve your writing style. Such an approach will help you convince the readers and express your thoughts better.

📂 Divorce Essays by Type

The content and reasoning of each paper on divorce depend primarily on the type of essay . See the following sections to understand how to write each of them.

Here are a few types you can consider:

Argumentative Essay about Divorce

When it comes to divorce, there are many disputable topics—for example, the reasons people separate or its impact on children. It’s easy to find support and statistics for both issues. And you’ll need them as facts are a crucial part of a divorce argumentative essay.

As a starting point:

Research your idea and choose a side to support. Make sure that among all argumentative essay topics about divorce, you selected the most interesting for yourself. In your thesis statement, concisely express your position, so the reader can quickly get it.

Then, start writing the entire essay. Regardless of what type of paper you are writing—anti or pro divorce argumentative essay—your writing should meet these requirements:

Base your points on logic;
Present both sides of the arguments, but support only one;
Take into consideration counterclaims;
Support all the arguments by valid evidence;
Use a calm, informative tone.

Don’t forget to incorporate quotes and figures to convince your readers.

Persuasive Essay about Divorce

What is the goal of writing persuasive essays ? It’s to convince your reader that your position on a particular problem is true.

Therefore, writing this paper means that you should identify an individual problem related to the topic. In the introduction of your persuasive essay about divorce, you should choose your side and deliver it to the reader.

Crucial note:

Similarly to an argumentative essay, you have to provide credible facts to support your position. Yet here, you use them to back up your opinion and persuade your reader.

While composing your persuasive essay about the legalization of divorce, remember its distinctive features:

Based on emotions;
Presents only one side of the argument;
Ignores counterclaims;
The tone is dynamic, emotionally-charged, and aggressive to some extent.

Cause and Effect Essay on Divorce

Whether it concerns old parents or a young couple, divorce typically has the same causes and effects. You can often see them clearly, even in books or movies.

The essay outline for the causes and effects of divorce essay is quite common:

Introduction.

In your divorce essay introduction, provide a general background and compose a clear thesis statement. For example, your thesis might look like this:

A divorce, caused by the spouses’ expectations mismatch, results in a lack of communication between children and one of the parents.

In this part of your essay, investigate the cause and effect of divorce, you stated before.

For the given thesis, the main points would be the following:

The primary cause of divorce is the mismatch in the spouses’ expectations from the marriage.

The divorce often results in a lack of children’s interactions with one of the parents.

Conclusion.

Synthesize all of your arguments and give your audience a space for a further investigation of your issue.

Narrative Essay about Divorce

If your assignment is to write a family essay, you can choose from a wide range of topics. For this purpose, a marriage essay or a divorce essay would be perfect.

In a short paper about your family, it isn’t easy to cover many topics. So choose only one.

Look through some narrative essay topics and select the one you like:

The story of my divorce: how did I decide to break up with my spouse?
My life completely changed after my parents divorced.
How my life looked like before the divorce with my wife/husband and how it looks now.
The way divorce destroys healthy communication between children and parents in my family.

For and Against Divorce Essay

As you know, both the negative and positive effects of divorce are disputable, making them appealing to discuss. There are many recent studies and relevant statistical data on the topic to help you write such an essay.

This topic would also be great for a speech on divorce.

Wondering what are the for and against divorce arguments? Take a look at the following:


If a person is in an abusive relationship, divorce might be the only option. It’s better to feel safe and protected than to be predisposed to violence.	You are still a family: you raise children and have a set of values. Consider preserving them and saving your family.
Are you that type of person that cannot forgive adultery? Then, break with your spouse and don’t waste your time.	Are you sure you and your partner are capable of living on their own? Often, spouses are financially dependent and cannot afford to lead the household after the divorce.
If a spouse continually mistreats their children and is unwilling to change their behavior, consider getting divorced.	If you decided to divorce after a single quarrel, don’t hurry up! Reconsider your decision and give your relationship a try.

✒ Divorce: Causes and Effects

We have a pleasant bonus for you! Below, you can find useful arguments and insightful ideas that you can use in your papers on divorce. Apply our concepts in any type of essay, adjusting them to your topic.

Divorce essays can cover the following issues:

Generally Known Facts on Divorces

When covering this issue in your persuasive essay on divorce, you will have to cover the problem altogether. Include the common marriage problems that psychologists all over the world study. Use their statistical data on divorces when crafting your argument.

Divorce is quite a broad topic, and you may want to narrow it down. With so much information available, you could write a research paper on divorce without any difficulty.

Statistical Data on Divorces

Good divorce essays should include enough statistical data. It will add more scientific value and reveal your research abilities. Besides, facts and figures present many exciting topics to comment on.

For example:

You can do significant research concerning divorce causes and consequences. Draw a contrast between divorce in several countries, or examine the age and education of people who officially separate more often.

Reasons for Divorces

What does an essay on divorce mean without discussion of its reasons?

Find out different sociologists’ viewpoints on the reasons for divorces. Then underline the cause you consider to be the most truthful one.

You can also provide your own theory on the grounds for divorces in your persuasive essay on divorce. The key point is to prove the accuracy of your statement.

Divorce Prevention Ideas

If there is a problem, there must be some solution. So, think of the possible ways to make a marriage work.

Investigate divorce causes from a scientific point of view. Examine the primary studies that reveal why people actually break up. Also, discuss the precautions that can help married couples avoid significant conflicts.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents sometimes forget that their divorce isn’t only about them but also about their children. It causes psychological problems for kids, which you can classify in your paper. Don’t forget to add some statistical data on divorce to support your arguments.

Every child reacts differently to their parents’ breakup. It’s a rare case when divorce consequences are positive, making the effects on kids an urgent topic to discuss.

Positive Effects of Divorce

Sometimes divorce isn’t a catastrophe but rather the only way to heal wounds and begin a new life. Often, people don’t recognize that they need to change their lives for the better. This situation is primarily related to abusive marriages or those with regular cheating.

In these cases, the positive effects of divorce may seem easy to understand. However, psychologists have to make great efforts to persuade people to end their relationships. Write a paper making this same argument.

Negative outcomes of divorce on children.
Connection between divorce and antisocial behavior of children.
Family crises and the issue it causes: divorce, remarriage, stepparents, adoption.
Effect of divorce on teenagers’ academic performance.
Causes and consequences of divorce .
What can be done to decrease divorce rates in America?
Does parental divorce affect the rates of juvenile delinquency ?
The most widespread reasons for divorce.
Analyze marital success factors and Gottman’s predictors of divorce.
Impact of divorce on child’s mental health.
Change of divorce law throughout history.
Positive and negative changes in children’s behavior after divorce.
Divorce : a disaster or a benefit?
Is cheating one of the main reasons of divorce?
Gender stratification impact on divorce trends.
Effect of divorce on family relationship.
Do divorced parents change their child-rearing styles?
List of factors typically associated with higher divorce rates.
The support required for all the members of divorced and single-parent families .
Analyze the reasons for high divorce rates .
Does divorce only impact adolescent in a bad way?
Effect of poverty on divorce rates.
Specifics of divorce in the UAE.
Does divorce lead to depression?
Family therapy and its role in decreasing divorce rates.
The impact of divorce on children-parents relationship.
Evaluation of child custody in divorce proceedings.
How to manage the stress of divorce.
Effect of divorce on children’s self-esteem.
How to minimize the devastating consequences of divorce.
Addiction as the reason for divorce.
Effective communication in marriage and its role in preventing divorce.
Divorce as the only way out of an abusive relationship.
Financial issues of divorce and how to overcome them.
Parental support is the best way to help children to go through divorce.
How do adolescents adjust to parental divorce?
Do boys and girls react to the parental divorce the same way?
Social media can destroy relationship and lead to divorce.
Can Christian counseling help couples to resolve their issues and avoid divorce?
Poverty among divorced women.
Young marriage has more chances to break-up.
Respect is the best way to get marriage satisfaction and avoid divorce.
Is interfaith marriage doomed to divorce?
Why a successful marriage may end in divorce?
Marriage contract will help to facilitate the legal side of divorce process.
Reduction of the number of divorces.
Personal development after divorce.
How family relationships influence future marriage and divorce chances of children.
Child support in case of marriage divorce.
Will lack of family and work balance definitely result in divorce?

If you are stuck on writing, you can always ask us for help! Whether you need a persuasive essay on divorce or any other paper, we are here and ready to assist.

Thanks for reading the article! Share it with friends who may need our tips or assistance.

🔗 References

Essay Introductions
Transitional Words and Phrases
Argumentative Paper Format
The Writing Process
Divorce Argument Essay: Bartleby
Cause and Effect Essay: The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Roane State Community College and UNC at Chapel Hill Writing Center
Counterargument: Gordon Harvey, the Writing Center at Harvard University
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Wow! Thanks for this! This will help me on my speech topic a lot! Thank you Jack‼️

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Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education

Shelby b. scott.

Department of Psychology, University of Denver

Galena K. Rhoades

Scott m. stanley, elizabeth s. allen.

Department of Psychology, University of Colorado – Denver

Howard J. Markman

The study presents findings from interviews of 52 divorced individuals who received the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) while engaged to be married. Using both quantitative and qualitative methods, the study sought to understand participant reasons for divorce (including identification of the “final straw”) in order to understand if the program covered these topics effectively. Participants also provided suggestions based on their premarital education experiences so as to improve future relationship education efforts. The most commonly reported major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing. The most common “final straw” reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use. More participants blamed their partners than blamed themselves for the divorce. Recommendations from participants for the improvement of premarital education included receiving relationship education before making a commitment to marry (when it would be easier to break-up), having support for implementing skills outside of the educational setting, and increasing content about the stages of typical marital development. These results provide new insights into the timing and content of premarital and relationship education.

Divorced individuals, compared to their married counterparts, have higher levels of psychological distress, substance abuse, and depression, as well as lower levels of overall health ( Amato, 2000 ; Hughes & Waite, 2009 ). Marital conflict and divorce have also shown to be associated with negative child outcomes including lower academic success ( Frisco, Muller, & Frank, 2007 ; Sun & Li, 2001 ), poorer psychological well-being (Sun & Li, 2002), and increased depression and anxiety ( Strohschein, 2005 ). Given these negative outcomes of marital conflict and divorce, the overarching goal of premarital relationship education has been to provide couples with skills to have healthy marriages.

The Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP; Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg, 2010 ) focuses on teaching appropriate communication and conflict skills, and provides information to help couples evaluate expectations, understand relationship commitment, and enhance positive connections through friendship and fun ( Ragan, Einhorn, Rhoades, Markman, & Stanley, 2009 ). Most research indicates that compared to control groups, PREP helps couples learn to communicate more positively and less negatively (e.g., Laurenceau, Stanley, Olmos-Gallo, Baucom, & Markman, 2004 ; Markman, Renick, Floyd, Stanley, & Clements, 1993 ), increases satisfaction, and reduces risk for divorce in the years following the program (e.g., Hahlweg, Markman, Thurmaier, Engl, & Eckert, 1998 ; Hahlweg & Richter, 2010 ; Markman & Hahlweg, 1993 ; Stanley, Allen, Markman, Rhoades, & Prentice, 2010 ). A few studies have shown more mixed or moderated results (e.g., Baucom, Hahlweg, Atkins, Engl, & Thurmaier, 2006 ; van Widenfelt, Hosman, Schaap, & van der Staak, 1996 ; Markman, Rhoades, Stanley, & Peterson, in press ). In an evidence-based tradition, the growing knowledge base can and should be used to generate insights about how to refine future efforts ( Stanley & Markman, 1998 ). One methodology that could improve PREP is to interview divorced individuals who participated in the program about their reasons for divorce and premarital education experiences in order to understand if the program covered these topics effectively.

Few studies have directly examined retrospective reports of reasons for divorce, particularly within the past two decades (see Bloom, Niles, & Tatcher, 1985 ; Gigy & Kelly, 1992 ; Kitson & Holmes, 1992 ; Thurnher, Fenn, Melichar, & Chiriboga, 1983 ) and no study, to our knowledge, has examined reasons for divorce in a sample of individuals who participated in the same relationship education program. Within a sample of divorcing parents, Hawkins, Willoughby, and Doherty (2012) found that the most endorsed reasons for divorce from a list of possible choices were growing apart (55%), not being able to talk together (53%), and how one’s spouse handled money (40%). Amato and Previti (2003) found that when divorced individuals were asked open-endedly to provide their reasons for divorce, the most cited reasons were infidelity (21.6%), incompatibility (19.2%), and drinking or drug use (10.6%). A statewide survey in Oklahoma found that the most commonly checked reasons for divorce from a list of choices were lack of commitment (85%), too much conflict or arguing (61%), and/or infidelity or extramarital affairs (58%; C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ). International studies have found highly endorsed reasons for divorce to be marrying too young, communication problems, incompatibility, spousal abuse, drug and alcohol use, religious differences, failures to get along, lack of love, lack of commitment, and childlessness, to name a few ( Al Gharaibeh & Bromfield, 2012 ; Savaya & Cohen, 2003a , 2003b ; Mbosowo, 1994 ).

In sum, across studies some consistency exists regarding the importance of issues such as communication, incompatibility, and commitment as reasons for divorce, while other issues seem to vary across samples. Thus, it would be helpful to understand the reasons for divorce in former PREP participants in order to highlight specific areas that the program could have addressed better and in order to improve that program’s effectiveness. In addition, no study, to our knowledge, has asked divorced participants who all participated in the same premarital program to provide suggestions for improving relationship education programs based on their own experiences in the program and considering that their marriages ended in divorce. These results could be valuable for practitioners to consider in order to improve the PREP model specifically and relationship education efforts more generally. The current study qualitatively interviewed individuals who had completed PREP and later divorced about their premarital education, including what they wished would have been covered, as well as their marital experiences, particularly regarding their reasons for divorce. Therefore, this study sought to understand both participants’ reasons for divorce as well as how they thought relationship education could have better addressed their needs. The ultimate goal of the current study was to provide new knowledge on potential ways to help relationship education best prevent marital distress and divorce.

Participants

Data were collected from 52 individuals who received PREP premaritally but subsequently divorced at some point in the following 14 years. These individuals were all initially participants of a larger study of the effectiveness of premarital education ( N = 306 couples; Markman et al., 2004 ; Stanley et al., 2001 ). All participants in the current study either received PREP through the religious organization ( n = 24) that performed their weddings or PREP through a university ( n = 28). The sample included 31 women and 21 men. Of these, 18 men and 18 women had been married to each other (we were unable to assess the former spouse of the other 16 individuals). At the first time point of the larger study (i.e., the premarital assessment), these participants were 25.4 years old on average ( SD = 6.67), with a median education of 14 years, and median income of $20,000–29,999. At the time of the post-divorce interview, the average age was 37.2 ( SD = 6.5), the median education level was 16 years, and 32 of the participants (61.5%) had a least one child. The average number of years since premarital intervention to the post-divorce interview was 12.2 years, and the average number of years from finalized divorce to participating in the interview was 5.2 years. The sample was 88.2% Caucasian, 5.9% Native American, 3.9% Black, and 2.0% Asian; 1 participant did not report race. In terms of ethnicity, 84.3% of the sample identified as Non-Hispanic and 15.7% as Hispanic.

Couples ( N = 306) were recruited for the larger study through the religious organizations that would later perform their wedding services. At the initial wave of the study in 1996, participants were required to be planning marriage with someone of the opposite sex and needed to participate as a couple. As mentioned earlier, they were assigned to either receive PREP through the religious organization, PREP at a university, or naturally-occurring services. Throughout the duration of the larger study, participants were asked to complete annual assessments that included questionnaires and videotaped discussions. If a participant expressed that he/she was divorced or currently divorcing throughout the larger study, this information was recorded. From 2010–2012, we attempted to contact all divorced participants ( n = 114 individuals) to ask if they would participate in the current study. Of these individuals, we were unable to contact 35 participants, 18 declined an invitation to participate, and 1 participant was deceased. Participants who divorced and had received naturally-occurring services ( n = 8) were excluded from these analyses because we could not know exactly what premarital services they had received. There were no significant differences between divorced individuals who participated in this study compared to divorced individuals who did not participate across age at marriage, ethnicity, personal income, or relationship adjustment at the premarital assessment ( p s > .05).

All participants completed an individual 30-minute audio-recorded interview over the phone about their divorce and their recollections of their premarital intervention. They received $50 for participating in this interview. All interviews were transcribed verbatim for analyses. All study procedures were approved by a university Institutional Review Board.

Reasons for divorce

Using items from a previous survey on reasons for divorce ( C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ) participants were asked to indicate whether or not each item on a list of common problems in relationships was a “major contributor to their divorce” (“yes” or “no”). These items included lack of commitment, infidelity/extra-marital affairs, too much arguing or conflict, substance abuse, domestic violence, economic hardship, lack of support from family members, marrying too young, little or no premarital education, and religious differences.

Qualitative feedback on progression of divorce

If participants indicated any of the reasons for divorce, they were subsequently asked to elaborate on how this problem progressed to their eventual divorce by the questions “Considering the problems you were telling me such as [the major reasons for divorce the participant listed], how did they move from problems to actually getting a divorce?” and “You said that [cited reason] was major contributor to the divorce. Can you tell me more about that?” We will only present detailed results from this qualitative feedback on reasons for divorce that were endorsed by at least 20% of participants.

Final straw

Participants were also asked if there was a “final straw” to their relationship ending, and to expand on that reason if there was one.

Who should have worked harder?

Participants were asked two questions ( C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ): “Again looking back at your divorce, do you ever wish that you, yourself, had worked harder to save your marriage?” (with response options of “Yes, I wish I had worked harder” or “No, I worked hard enough.”) and “Do you ever wish that your spouse had worked harder to save your marriage?” (with response options of “Yes, I wish my spouse had worked harder.” or “No, my spouse worked hard enough.”)

Qualitative feedback on PREP

Participants were asked to report and elaborate on what they remembered, found difficult, or wished was different about their premarital education experience in an open-ended format. Example questions from the interviews include “What do you remember about the premarital preparation or training you and your ex-spouse took part in?” and “Based on your experience in a marriage that didn’t work out as you planned, do you think there is any kind of information or education that would have made a difference in how things turned out?”

Analytic Approach

Both quantitative and qualitative approaches were utilized to address our research questions. For the first phase of analysis, answers were counted for close-ended questions, such as the list of major reasons for divorce (see Table 1 ) and if there was a “final straw” (yes or no). For open-ended questions, we followed a grounded-theory methodology ( Creswell, 2006 ; Strauss & Corbin, 1998 ). For the first phase of coding, after repeated readings of the transcripts, two coders, including the first author and a research assistant from the larger project, followed a grounded-theory methodology to generate common themes related to participants’ recollections of their premarital education and reasons for divorce (from open-ended items; Creswell, 2006 ; Strauss & Corbin, 1998 ). The two coders then met repeatedly to compare results and to establish consistency. If the coders disagreed across codes, they discussed their codes with the second author to come to a conclusion. Next, axial coding was used to analyze how different codes vary in order to create specific categories of the individual codes ( Creswell, 2006 ; Strauss & Corbin, 1998 ). For example, axial coding involved examining how respondent reports of general themes (e.g., communication problems) varied in their presentation (e.g., communication problems throughout the relationship vs. communication problems only at the end of marriage).

List of Major Reasons for Divorce by Individuals and Couples Who Participated in PREP

Reason for divorce	Individuals (N =52)	Couples ( N = 36)	Couple Agreement
Lack of commitment	75.0	94.4	70.6
Infidelity or extramarital affairs	59.6	88.8	31.3
Too much conflict and arguing	57.7	72.2	53.8
Getting married too young	45.1	61.1	27.3
Financial problems	36.7	55.6	50.0
Substance abuse	34.6	50.0	33.3
Domestic violence	23.5	27.8	40.0
Health problems	18.2	27.8	25.0
Lack of support from family	17.3	27.8	20.0
Religious differences	13.3	33.3	0.0
Little or no premarital education	13.3	22.2	25.0

Note. The individuals column reflects the percentage of individuals in the total sample who said yes to each reason. The couples column reflects the percentage of couples who had at least one partner say yes to each reason. The couple agreement column represents how many couples had both partners cite each reason out of the couples that had a least one partner mention that reason.

The final stage of coding included selective coding in which categories were refined and relationships between concepts were noted, such as how reasons for divorce related to difficulties utilizing PREP skills. Once all codes were determined, the first author and a new coder, another research assistant on the project, coded all transcripts with the established coding system. Codes were counted for all individuals, as well as couples as a whole (partner agreement on the same code) and couples in which only one partner from the relationship reported a specific code (partner disagreement on the same code). The average Cohen’s Kappa (per code) was .71 ( SD = .28) and the median was .80.

Analyses are presented at the individual level by using data from all 52 participants, as well as at the couple level by using data from the 18 couples ( n = 36) in which both partners completed interviews.

Reasons for Divorce

Table 1 presents the “major contributors for divorce” list. Overall, the results indicate that the most often cited reasons for divorce at the individual level were lack of commitment (75.0%), infidelity (59.6%), and too much conflict and arguing (57.7%), followed by marrying too young (45.1%), financial problems (36.7%), substance abuse (34.6%), and domestic violence (23.5%). Other problems, such as religious differences, were endorsed less than 20% of the time. The order of these rankings was essentially identical at the couple level, although rates of endorsement increased because both partners were reporting. The following provides qualitative elaborations by participants on these specific reasons for divorce.

Results indicated that the most common major contributing factor to divorce reported by participants was lack of commitment , reported by 75% of individuals and by at least one person in 94.4% of couples. Of the couples in which at least one partner mentioned commitment as a problem, 70.6% represented couples in which both partners agreed that lack of commitment was a major reason for divorce. Some participants reported that commitment within their relationships gradually eroded until there was not enough commitment to sustain the relationship, while others reported more drastic drops in commitment in response to negative events, such as infidelity.

“I realized it was the lack of commitment on my part because I didn’t really feel romantic towards him. I always had felt more still like he was a friend to me.” “It became insurmountable. It got to a point where it seemed like he was no longer really willing to work [on the relationship]. All of the stresses together and then what seemed to me to be an unwillingness to work through it any longer was the last straw for me.”

The next most often cited major contributing factor to divorce was infidelity , endorsed by 59.6% of individuals and by at least one partner in 88.8% of couples. Of those couples who had a least one partner report infidelity as a reason for divorce, only 31.3% represented couples in which both partners agreed that infidelity was a major contributor to the dissolution of their marriage. Thus, the majority of couples with apparent infidelity in their relationships only had one partner mention it as a contributing factor to their divorce. Overall, infidelity was often cited as a critical turning point in a deteriorating relationship.

“It was the final straw when he actually admitted to cheating on me. I kind of had a feeling about it, but, you know, I guess we all deny [because] we never think that the person you are married to or care about would do that to us.” “He cheated on me […] Then I met somebody else and did the same thing. […] And when he found out about it we both essentially agreed that it wasn’t worth trying to make it work anymore because it just hurt too bad.”

Conflict and arguing

Too much conflict and arguing was endorsed by 57.7% of individuals and 72.2% of couples had at least one partner report that was a major contributor to divorce. Of these couples, 53.8% of couples agreed that too much conflict and arguing was a contributor to divorce. Overall, participants indicated that conflicts were not generally resolved calmly or effectively. Respondents also reported that such communication problems increased in frequency and intensity throughout their marriages, which at times, seemed to coincide with lost feelings of positive connections and mutual support. By the end of the marriage, these respondents indicated that there was a significant lack of effective communication.

“I got frustrated of arguing too much.” “We’d have an argument over something really simple and it would turn into just huge, huge fights […] and so our arguments never got better they only ever got worse.”

Marrying too young

Getting married too young was reported as a major contributing factor to divorce by 45.1% of individuals and by at least one partner from 61.1% of couples. Both partners mentioned this reason in 27.3% of these couples. Participants who endorsed this item were an average of 23.3 years old at the time of marriage ( SD = 5.5) and participants who did not endorse this item were 29.2 ( SD = 6.7). In commenting about this issue, some participants reported that they had only known their partners for short periods of time before their marriage and/or that they wished they had dated their partners longer in order to either gain a better perspective on the relationship or to make a more rational decision as to whom they should marry. Additional comments about this issue included reports that participants were too young to make mature objective decisions regarding their marriage decisions.

“The main reason [we divorced] was because of our age. I think that being 19 at the time we got married, it just didn’t take. I think that we didn’t take anything as seriously as we should have.” “I wish that we wouldn’t have […] gotten married so young. I wish we would have waited a little bit longer before we actually got married.”

Financial problems

Financial problems were cited as a major contributor to divorce by 36.7% of participants and by at least one partner from 55.6% of couples. Of couples who had at least one partner endorse financial problems as a contributor to divorce, 50% represented couples in which both partners agreed that financial problems were a major reason for divorce. In elaborating about this issue, some participants indicated that financial difficulties were not the most pertinent reason for their divorce, but instead contributed to increased stress and tension within the relationship. Other participants also expressed that some financial difficulties were linked to other problems (e.g., health problems, substance abuse).

“I had a severe illness for almost a year and I was the only employed person [before that] so obviously money ran very short.” “The stress of trying to figure out the finances became a wedge that was really insurmountable.”

Substance abuse

Substance abuse was reported as a major contributing factor to divorce by 34.6% of participants, and by at least one partner in 50% of couples. Of these couples, only 33.3% of partners agreed that substance abuse was a major contributing factor to divorce. Thus, similar to reports of infidelity, the majority of couples who listed substance abuse as a reason for divorce had only one partner cite this reason. Generally, participants expressed that the severity of the substance abuse problem in their relationship was either minimized over the duration of the relationship, or if attempts to address the problem were made, the partner with the substance abuse problem would not improve and/or seek help. After several attempts to address the problem, the relationship finally ended.

“I said ‘absolutely no more bars’ and as soon as I found out he was back in them, I asked for [a divorce].” “He never admitted that he even drank. It wasn’t me against him. It was me against him and the disease.”

Domestic violence

Domestic violence was cited as a contributing factor to divorce by 23.5% of participants and by at least one partner from 27.8% of couples. Of those couples in which one partner listed domestic abuse a major contributor to divorce, 40.0% of partners agreed that it was a major contributor to divorce. Elaborations of this item included descriptions of both physical and emotional abuse. Participants often expressed how the abuse in their relationship developed gradually, with intensified cycles of abuse and contrition, until the severity of the abuse intensified to insurmountable levels.

“[There was] continuous sexual abuse and emotional trauma which only got worse over time.” “There were times that I felt very physically threatened. There was a time that there was a bit of shoving. I got an elbow to my nose and I got a nose bleed. Then there was another time that he literally just slid me along the floor. […]We’d work on it. It would happen again.”

Final Straw

After assessing participant major reasons for divorce, we were interested to see if participants indicated a single event or reason that constituted a “final straw” in the process of their marriage dissolution. Overall, 68.6% of participants and at least one partner in 88.9% of couples reported that there was a final straw leading to the end of their marriage. General themes of final straw issues where generated through qualitative methods for participants who reported a final straw. Of the individuals who indicated that there was a final straw involved in ending their marriages, the most common cited reason was infidelity, which was reported by 24% of these participants, followed by domestic violence (21.2%) and substance abuse (12.1%). At the couple level, no couples (0%) had both partners report the same reason for the final straw. Participants expressed that although these final straw events may not have been the first incident of their kind (e.g., the first time they realized their partner had a substance abuse problem) an event involving these behaviors led to the final decision for their relationship to end. Also, there were some situations in which individuals expressed that these three issues may have interacted with one another or other relationship issues.

“[My ex-husband] and I both had substance abuse problems which led to infidelity […] which also led to domestic violence”. “Along with him having alcohol and drug issues as well as infidelity issues [and] the stress, came the physical and verbal abuse.”

Who is to Blame?

Considering that infidelity, domestic violence, and substance abuse were the most often endorsed “final straw” reasons for divorce, we were interested in deciphering which member of the relationship participants saw as responsible for these behaviors. In examining participants’ elaborations of infidelity, substance abuse, and domestic violence, we found that 76.9%, 72.2%, and 77.8%, respectively, described these events in terms of their partner engaging in these negative behaviors, and only 11.5%, 11.1%, and 0%, respectively, volunteered that they engaged in the behavior themselves.

Furthermore, when participants were asked if their partner should have worked harder to save their marriages, 65.8% of men and 73.8% of women believe that their ex-spouse should have worked harder to save their marriages. Conversely, when participants were asked if they, personally, should have worked harder to save their marriages, only 31.6% of men and 33.3% of women expressed that they, personally, should have worked harder. Further, at the couple level, 70.6% of couples showed a pattern in which the women believed their ex-husbands should have worked harder to save their relationships while their ex-husbands did not believe they, themselves, should have worked harder. Only 11.7% agreed that the husband should have worked harder and 11.7% had the husband endorse that he should have worked harder with the wife disagreeing. Conversely, only 35.3% of couples displayed the pattern in which the men blamed their ex-wives for not working harder while their ex-wives, themselves, denied that they should have worked harder. Only 11.7% agreed that the wife should have worked harder and 17.7% had the wife endorsed that she should have worked harder with her husband disagreeing. Further, 35.3% of couples agreed that the wife had not needed to work harder to save the marriage, while only 5.9% of couples agreed that the husband had not needed to work harder. Thus, most participants believed their ex-partners should have worked harder, but at the couple level, there were more couples in which both partners agreed that the wife did not need to work harder than there were couples in which both partners agreed the husband did not need to work harder. When asked who filed for the divorce, 63.5% of participants indicated that the woman filed for divorce and only 25% participants indicated that the man filed for divorce.

Feedback on PREP

Next, we provide the findings on the most commonly cited qualitative feedback reported by participants regarding how to improve premarital education. The following results and percentages refer to counts of qualitative codes created by the research team based on common themes in the interviews.

Learning more about one’s partner

Results show that 42.3% of participants and 77.8% of couples expressed that they wished they had known more about their ex-spouse before they were married. Of these couples, 28.6% of partners agreed. These statements included desires to understand their partner better in order to improve their communication and better prepare for the marriage, or conversely, information that would have led them to never marry one’s partner in the first place. Indeed, 30.8% of participants specifically mentioned that they wished they had recognized “red flags” to leave the relationship before they entered their marriage.

“I think the only information that could have [helped] would’ve been information that might have led me to not marry him.” “I probably wish that we would have had more premarital counseling and had somebody tell us we should not be getting married.”

Participating in the program before constraints to marry

Twenty-five percent (25.0%) of participants specifically reported that they were influenced by constraints to stay in the relationship already in place during the program. Example constraints included having become engaged, set a wedding date, sent out invitations, or purchased a dress, which made it difficult for participants to objectively reconsider if they were marrying the right person through the educational experience. Thus, a large portion of participants expressed that receiving PREP just before marriage made it difficult for them to seriously considered delaying their wedding plans in order to make more objective decisions about the relationship.

“It was one of those things where you’re like, ‘Well, I already have the dress. We’re already getting married. We already have all the people. Everything is already set up and we bought the house.’ And you just kind of think, ‘Well you know I’m sure things will get better.’ You see the red flags but you kind of ignore them.” “I just didn’t have the guts to say, ‘You know what, I understand the dresses have been paid for. The churches have been booked. The invitations have gone out. But I don’t think I want to do this.’”

Improved support for ongoing implementation

Thirty-one percent (30.8%) of individuals and 38.9% of couples had at least one partner express that, although they found PREP skills helpful during the duration of the program, they had difficulty using these skills in their daily lives outside of their premarital education classes. Of these couples, 42.9% of partners agreed that they had difficulty implementing program skills in their marriage. In general, these participants expressed that, in the heat of the moment, it was hard to utilize their communication skills, such as staying calm, actively listening, working toward the problem as a team, or taking “time outs” as suggested in PREP. Other participants simply expressed that it was hard to remember and perfect their skills after the program ended because they did not practice them regularly.

“I think that the techniques […] were helpful. I just think it mattered if you were going to apply the principles or not. And I don’t think a lot of them were applied.” “It helped with discussion and listening tools. I think, it’s just the follow through, you know. We didn’t remember those things when it came down to it.” “He tried to use it at the beginning, but it was just the continual using of the techniques that were given to us.”

Education regarding the realities of marriage

In addition to not knowing enough about one’s partner, 48.1% of participants and 72.2% of couples expressed that they did not know enough about the realities or stages of marriage after participating in the program. Of these couples, 38.5% of partners agreed. These comments included surprise that their partners changed over the course of the marriage, as well as trouble facing new problems when they emerged (e.g., lack of attraction/connection, decreases in commitment and satisfaction, and new abuse problems).

“Premarital counseling teaches you how you get along, and that you should communicate, but it doesn’t really talk about the phases of a marriage over time.” “[I wish I had learned] that the biggest area in life in an ongoing relationship is knowing that things are going to come up that aren’t perfect. That after the wedding day, and the build up to the wedding day, real life is going to kick in and you have to really have some tools to deal with it.”

The goal of this study was to increase understanding of divorced individuals’ perspectives on whether their premarital education prepared them for marriage and how relationship education could be modified to better address couples’ needs. Thus, among individuals who received PREP premaritally and later divorced, this study addressed reasons for divorce as well as ideas for what else would have been helpful in relationship education. It is the first study to qualitatively assess divorced participants’ recommendations for relationship education services. Given the small sample and qualitative nature of the reports, the implications discussed below ought to be considered preliminary.

We asked about reasons for divorce to know whether PREP addressed the kinds of problems that couples who went on to divorce tended to experience. The most commonly cited reason for divorce was lack of commitment, followed by infidelity and too much conflict and arguing. These top rated major reasons for divorce noted here are similar to those found in large random surveys of divorced participants (cf. C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ; Hawkins, Willoughby et al., 2012 ). Overall, these findings support the importance of covering communication and commitment in premarital education programs to help foster successful marriages; however, in light of participant feedback on PREP, the program may have been able to cover these and other topics more effectively.

Whereas issues like communication and commitment overlap with core content in PREP and other programs (see Markman & Rhoades, 2012 ), a substantial portion of responses suggested that, although the skills taught in PREP may been helpful, they did not implement them in real-life situations, particularly during heated discussions. Research indicates that commitment and conflict management are related in that commitment helps partners inhibit negative behaviors and engage in more positive behaviors at critical moments ( Slotter et al., 2012 ); thus, the issues of commitment and conflict management are likely intertwined in important ways. Further, consistent with other research on a German version of PREP ( Hahlweg & Richter, 2010 ), participants also reported that they forgot some of the communication skills over time.

These findings highlight a key question for the couple research field regarding how to enhance couples’ ability to use beneficial strategies when they are most needed. One solution could be to increase the time couples spend in premarital education in order for them to master essential skills and to help them become more likely to constructively derail negative processes as they emerge. At the same time, the version of PREP that these couples received was 12 hours long, which is both on the long end of what most couples receive in premarital education ( Mdn = 8 hours; Stanley, Amato, Johnson, & Markman, 2006 ) and in the range of what tends to be the most effective dose ( Hawkins, Stanley, Blanchard, & Albright, 2012 ). Longer curricula do not seem to lead to stronger effects ( Hawkins, Stanley et al., 2012 ), but future random-assignment studies could address this question better.

With most premarital education services, including PREP, couples are not provided opportunities to practice new skills or receive coaching while they are upset or experiencing a difficult disagreement. A group or workshop format likely inhibits such real-world discussions. It could be that couples would benefit from new program content that helps them practice their skills better when they are having trouble. Couples may also benefit from additional opportunities to perfect the use of program strategies after the intervention has ended, such as through booster classes or individual meetings with coaches. Research indicates that such boosters may be effective ( Braukhaus, Hahlweg, Kroeger, Groth, & Fehm-Wolfsdorf, 2003 ). New technologies now offer innovative ways to deliver such boosters, such as through online training or smart phone applications.

Content Considerations for Premarital Education

Introducing new content on the issues that participants identified as final straws in their marriages may also be beneficial. These issues were infidelity, aggression or emotional abuse, and substance use. Addressing these behaviors directly in relationship education raises some questions regarding which couples relationship education providers might seek to help stay together as opposed to help break-up. We believe premarital education should serve as a prevention effort to help healthy and happy couples stay that way and that keeping distressed, abusive, or otherwise unhealthy couples together would not be a positive outcome. Research on the development of these “final straw” behaviors seems particularly important in the future. A limitation of the current study is that the pre-intervention assessment did not include the kinds of measures necessary to determine the extent to which couples in this study presented with these problems before marriage. Thus, future research is needed to investigate whether premarital education can help prevent couples from developing some of these “final straw” behaviors and whether it may help some couples with problems such as aggression or substance abuse either get the additional help they will need to change these behaviors or break up. We discuss preliminary ideas about whether/how premarital education might cover each of these final straw issues below.

Over half of all participants cited infidelity as a major reason for divorce and infidelity was the most often endorsed “final straw” reason. Infidelity is not a major focus in PREP, though the curriculum does address the importance of commitment, including protecting one’s relationship from attraction to others. Based on participants’ reports from this study, it may be that premarital programs could be improved by more directly addressing how to reduce the potential for extramarital involvement.

If providers or programs choose to address infidelity explicitly, Markman (2005) provides useful guidelines for covering the topic. These recommendations include informing participants that there are specific situations and developmental time periods within relationships with increased risks for engaging in extramarital relationships (e.g., transition to parenthood, close relationships with attractive alternatives, significant drinking). Furthermore, participants could be informed that the risk for extramarital relationships may increase during stressful times—such as when partners are separated for long periods by work demands or experiencing low marital satisfaction—and this information could be shared with participants. Partners could also be given structure to talk with each other about expectations for fidelity, management of relationships with friends or co-workers who could be attractive alternatives, and boundaries for their relationship. However, one barrier to increasing a focus on the prevention of infidelity in premarital education is that relationship commitment and satisfaction is highest right before marriage ( Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2006 ), so engaged couples may not be receptive or eager to directly address the possibility of future extramarital affairs during this time ( Allen et al., 2005 ).

Substance abuse also appeared to be a prevalent problem at least for half of divorced couples in this sample. Overall, reports indicate that although substance abuse problems may have developed gradually throughout these relationships, this issue constituted the final straw to end the relationship for a number of individuals once the situation was perceived as insurmountable. Substance abuse is not currently addressed in PREP except that all couples attending PREP are provided with information on how to get more help for a range of problems, including substance abuse.

Premarital programs may benefit from educating participants on how substance abuse is not uncommon as a reason for divorce in an effort to encourage participants to address substance abuse problems as early as possible. Such program additions could also include how to recognize and get help for substance abuse and could encourage partners to discuss their expectations for substance use in the relationship. Partners may also benefit from discussing how to support each other in seeking help, should the need ever arise. Furthermore, couples could be taught that if a substance abuse develops in the relationship, there is often a discrepancy between partners regarding perspectives on the extent of the problem, which is evident by this study’s findings.

Domestic violence was cited by over a quarter of couples as a reason for divorce. When asked to elaborate, some described verbal abuse, while others described physical aggression. Often participants explained that they initially believed they could work through the problem, but later found it unbearable, as some participants considered an act of physical aggression as the final straw in their relationship. As others have suggested ( Halford, Markman, Kline, & Stanley, 2003 ), premarital education programs may benefit from teaching participants about recognizing, preventing, and getting help for aggression in relationships. In current models of PREP, all participants learn that aggression is unacceptable and they all receive basic information on ways to get help (e.g., through shelters), as to not put particular couples or individuals in awkward or unsafe circumstances in class. Still, more could be done.

The field continues to debate how to best address this issue, as different types of violence and couples of varying risk may warrant different approaches. M. P. Johnson (1995) distinguishes between situational couple violence and intimate terrorism. Specifically, situational couple violence tends to be much more common and represents aggression that comes out of conflict. It is typically initiated by either partner while intimate terrorism encompasses more controlling, threatening behavior, typically by the male partner.

With 36% of unmarried couples having experienced some form of physical aggression in the last year ( Rhoades, Stanley, Kelmer, & Markman, 2010 ), relationship education programs should take care not to scare couples who have experienced aggression away from seeking help. As is done routinely in PREP, it seems necessary in relationship education that providers and program content emphasize to all participants that any aggression is unacceptable and also suggest specific, local ways to seek help for problems with aggression. To develop further content, an understanding of the literature on aggression and violence, including men’s vs. women’s roles, and the different type of violence, is likely particularly important, as recommendations may be different for different kinds of problems. For example, recommendations for situational couple violence might include couple and/or individual therapy focused on intensive skills to help better manage negative affect and conflict effectively whereas intimate terrorism would most likely call for referrals to shelters or law enforcement. For further recommendations regarding domestic violence and relationship education, see suggestions by Derrington, Johnson, Menard, Ooms, and Stanley (2010) .

Financial hardship

Financial hardship was cited as a major reason for divorce that provided stress on their relationship by over half the sample. Although PREP helps couples learn communication skills to discuss stressful topics in general, it is worth considering whether specific content on money and economic stress is warranted. Participants could be asked to more directly share expectations about finances and learn coping skills for times of significant financial strain. They could also be provided with appropriate community resources to improve or stabilize their financial situations or these resources could be incorporated into relationship education efforts.

Marriage expectations

Almost half of interviewees commented that they did not know enough about the typical course of events in marriage. PREP typically addresses expectations by encouraging participants to recognize and discuss their own expectations for marriage ( Markman et al., 2010 ), but it does not provide explicit information about how marriages and families tend to develop over time. More content on normal marital development could be helpful. For example, information could be provided about how satisfaction typically drops and conflict tends to increase during the transition to parenthood (e.g., Doss, Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009b ) and about the course of attraction and sexual desire in relationships.

Previous research has shown that couples who develop serious difficulties, and eventually seek help, usually do so long after the problems have become deeply entrenched ( Doss, Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009a ). Thus, relationship education programs may benefit from providing guidelines regarding when to seek professional help and even have couples practice these difficult conversations to encourage them to seek help early and at times when changes are easiest to make. There is survey evidence that premarital education is associated with being more likely to use services later in the marriage ( Williamson, Karney, Trail, & Bradbury, 2012 ), but more direct content on how and when to seek help may be warranted.

This point about seeking help early is complicated by the fact that the majority of participants saw their partner as primarily responsible for participating in the “final straw” behaviors (infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use) and for not working hard enough to save the marriage. Most participants also believed that they, personally, should not have worked harder to save their marriages. Therefore, premarital education may need to focus on encouraging help seeking behaviors in couples with the understanding that most individuals may see their partners as primarily responsible for their difficulties, and therefore, may not feel personally responsible. In addition, the majority of couples displayed a pattern in which the women blamed their ex-husbands while their ex-husbands did not see themselves as responsible. Interestingly, as has been found elsewhere ( Amato & Previti, 2003 ; C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ), women in this sample were also more likely to eventually file for divorce than men. Thus, it may be especially important that husbands and wives develop realistic expectations about seeking help together, so that they later do not disagree about what circumstances might constitute a need for help.

The Timing of Premarital Education

Our findings show that a considerable number of participants wished that they had known more about their partner before marriage, saying they would have either learned how to handle differences better or left the relationship. Many others believed they had married too young. Also, a portion of participants mentioned that they participated in PREP during a time when the constraints of wedding plans made it more likely for them to ignore factors that may have otherwise ended their relationship. These participant comments highlight the difference between when couples might ideally benefit from premarital education compared to when couples typically seek it. One of the potential benefits of relationship education is that is can help some couples on an ill-advised or premature path toward marriage to reconsider their plans (see Stanley, 2001 ); however, couples typically participate in these programs close to their wedding dates, a time when ending the relationship may be especially difficult.

A potentially stronger overall prevention strategy is to reach people earlier in their relationships, before constraints to marry are in place, or even before individuals enter relationships ( Rhoades & Stanley, 2009 ). Early, individual-oriented relationship education can help individuals develop and practice healthy relationship skills and also help them end unsafe or unhealthy relationships ( Rhoades & Stanley, 2011 ). One recently-developed relationship education curriculum designed for individuals, Within My Reach ( Pearson, Stanley, & Rhoades, 2008 ), has shown success in teaching these skills and helping individuals reach their personal relationship goals ( Antle, Karam, Christensen, Barbee, & Sar, 2011 ). Thus, future research may wish to consider how to encourage individuals and/or couples who have yet to make commitments to marry to participate in relationship education programs, as well as how and when these programs should advise individuals to leave damaging relationships.

Conclusions and Limitations

This study provides new information regarding the reasons for divorce and possible improvements to relationship education programs based on feedback from divorced individuals who participated in PREP premaritally. Although the study focuses on improving the PREP model specifically, relationship education programs working with premarital populations may also find value in our findings, particularly regarding how to cover specific topics deemed important by our participants. Other programs may also benefit from suggestions to provide relationship education earlier and to provide services to help couples master their skill development over time.

This study also has several limitations that warrant discussion. First, respondent reports of their progression toward divorce and premarital education experiences were retrospective and may therefore be biased by the passing of time. Future studies may wish to evaluate relationship problems and reasons for divorce closer to the couple’s decision to divorce. Second, the sample was mostly White and only included participants in heterosexual relationships who married within mostly Christian-based religious organizations. Therefore, future studies are needed to examine whether these findings would be replicated with other groups or cultures. A third limitation is the lack of a comparison group of couples who participated in PREP but did not divorce. As a result, it is not clear whether or not the problems and recommendations these participants identified are specific to this divorced sample, or would translate to couples who remain married. Finally, all participants in this study received PREP when they were engaged to be married so research is needed to evaluate reasons for relationship dissolution and how to improve programs that target individuals and couples in different relationship stages (e.g. dating or married). Nevertheless, this study provides new insight in potential improvements to the content and timing of relationship education.

Acknowledgments

This research was supported by award number R01HD053314 from the Eunice Kennedy Shrivner National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. The content is solely the responsibility of the authors and does not necessarily represent the official views of the Eunice Kennedy Shrivner National Institute of Child Health and Human Development or National Institutes of Health.

Contributor Information

Shelby B. Scott, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

Galena K. Rhoades, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

Scott M. Stanley, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

Elizabeth S. Allen, Department of Psychology, University of Colorado – Denver.

Howard J. Markman, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

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The Divorce Process: A Step By Step Guide

Updated: Jul 25, 2024, 7:40am

The Divorce Process: A Step By Step Guide

What is involved in the divorce process, divorce process step by step, serving the petition for divorce, response or default divorce, temporary hearings, discovery and preparation, settlement or trial, do you need an attorney to help you through the steps of divorce, frequently asked question (faqs).

Marriage is more than just a romantic partnership. It is a legal relationship that gives you certain rights and obligations. If you want to end your marriage, you need to go through the divorce process in order for the state to formally dissolve your union.

The steps of divorce can be complicated, and it can take time to become single again. This guide to the divorce process step by step will help you to understand what to expect so you can be prepared for all the hoops you’ll need to jump through if you no longer wish to be married to your spouse.

Divorce occurs when the court legally ends your marriage. You are not considered divorced in the eyes of the law until a judge signs a divorce decree .

In addition to ending your marriage, most divorces decide how your marital property is divided, whether alimony or spousal support is owed and how custody of your children is shared.

The specific steps of the divorce vary by state, so it is important to learn the rules for where you live. In most states, however, you will need to complete similar steps of divorce before your marriage can be dissolved.

There are also different types of divorce , including fault and no-fault divorces and contested and uncontested divorces . You and your spouse will need to consider what is right for you, as well as for any children who are involved.

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Here are the divorce steps you may have to go through before the court declares your marriage is over.

Divorce cannot happen overnight. In fact, many states have a divorce waiting period. This means a certain amount of time must pass between the time you separate and/or the time you file for divorce and the time your marriage is officially over.

The waiting period before divorce could range from as little as a few weeks to as long as a year, although there are some locations that don’t impose a waiting period at all.

During the waiting period, you may be informally or formally separated from your spouse.

If you are informally separated, you live apart. In some states you can do this in the same house.
If you are legally separated, you have a written agreement or order about money, custody and support. This can be helpful if your spouse is not being cooperative (for example, by not allowing you access to your home or children or by denying you financial help you need).

It is very important you understand whether your state requires a period of separation before your marriage ends and how your state defines separation. Otherwise, you could end up delaying your divorce. An experienced divorce attorney can explain this aspect of the divorce process where you live.

Determining the Grounds for Divorce

When you are ready to move forward with the divorce process, you’ll have to decide whether to file a petition asking for a fault divorce or a no-fault divorce.

All states allow no-fault divorce. This means neither party is alleging any specific wrongdoing as justification for the divorce. Instead, the divorce is just based on the fact you and your spouse have irreconcilable differences. A no-fault divorce is granted even if your spouse does not want the divorce.

Some states also allow for fault divorces. This means there are specific grounds for divorce such as abuse, abandonment or adultery.

Fault divorces can be more complicated and expensive, but you may request a fault divorce for several reasons. You may want it on record that you believe the other party was to blame for your breakup. Or you may think you can influence the court’s decisions about issues such as asset division or custody by proving your spouse wronged you.

Filing for Divorce

Filing is one of the most crucial steps of divorce. In this part of the process, you actually file paperwork with the court to begin the process of formally dissolving your marriage.

If your state imposes a waiting period, make sure you have been separated for the required length of time before filing for divorce so you don’t have to begin the process over again.

You also need to make sure you file your petition for divorce in the appropriate court. This is usually the family or divorce court in the county in which you or your spouse live, as there are residency requirements in most locations. These rules require you to have lived in the area for a certain period of time before divorcing there.

You need to provide some crucial information in your petition for divorce including:

Names and contact information for you and your spouse
The grounds for divorce
Whether you have children and, if so, their personal identifying information including their ages and locations
What you desire with regard to the division of property and child custody , as well as whether you are asking for alimony or child support.

You need to pay a divorce filing fee when you submit your petition for divorce (or you can complete a request to waive the fee if paying it would be a financial hardship). Fees vary based on location.

When you file for divorce, your spouse must be formally notified. You can request that the sheriff serve your spouse with divorce papers or hire a process server.

If you do not know the location of your spouse, you still need to attempt to ensure they receive notice of the divorce filing. You can do this by publishing notices in local newspapers if the court gives you permission.

Before you can move forward with the divorce process, you must be able to provide proof to the court that your spouse was served (or that you attempted to serve the papers).

In most cases, when you serve your partner with divorce papers, they have a set period of time to respond.

If your partner does not do so, you can petition the court and request a default divorce (also sometimes called an uncontested divorce). The court typically will move forward, awarding you all that you requested and dissolving your marriage. If you and your spouse have children together, however, the court ensures it is acting in the children’s best interests before making decisions regarding them.

Typically, however, your spouse will respond after you have filed a petition for divorce. This means your spouse will submit an “answer” to your initial petition for divorce. Your spouse might agree with you in the answer or may disagree with your assertions. Your spouse can also file a counter-complaint and introduce new allegations or information for the court to consider.

If your spouse responds, they typically must serve you with a copy of that response and provide proof of this service to the court in order for proceedings to continue.

In some cases, a temporary hearing will be held after a petition for divorce is filed but before the official court proceedings begin to dissolve the marriage. This is especially likely in states where there is a long waiting period between the time a couple separates and the time divorce can take place.

In the temporary hearing, the court can address issues that are unable to wait until the full trial to dissolve your marriage. This could include:

Creating a temporary custody arrangement
Awarding temporary financial support for spouses or children
Putting a domestic violence restraining order in place
Placing restrictions on the use or sale of joint assets
Ordering an appropriate division of expenses during the divorce proceedings

Both you and your spouse should expect to be present at the temporary hearing—and you should generally make sure you are represented by an experienced divorce lawyer who can advise you on the process and help to protect your rights.

Once the case has begun, your attorney will gather evidence. They may subpoena documentation, hold depositions or send questions to the opposing counsel.

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The final step before your marriage is dissolved involves either negotiating a divorce settlement the court can sign off on or going to trial to decide how support, custody and division of assets will work.

It is generally best if you can move forward with an uncontested divorce in which you and your spouse come to an agreement on the issues involved in ending your marriage. You may wish to work with a mediator if you can’t come to an agreement on your own. Negotiating an out-of-court settlement can save you money and help you come up with a settlement that works best for your family.

If you cannot come to a consensus on all the issues raised in your divorce, you will need to proceed to trial. During the trial, each party can argue their case, including presenting witnesses and evidence. The court will consider the details, as well as state laws governing the division of custody and property, when deciding contested issues during divorce.

Although you can learn about the divorce process step by step, it can still be challenging to complete all of the legal requirements. You also must make sure you protect your rights throughout the process of ending your marriage.

An experienced divorce attorney is there for you during all of the steps of divorce. Your lawyer helps you understand divorce requirements, files the right paperwork in a timely manner, negotiates a fair settlement and maximizes the chances you end up with a divorce judgment you’re happy with.

You should contact a divorce lawyer if you are thinking of ending your marriage so you can better understand your rights and protect your interests throughout the process.

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How long does a divorce take?

The timeline for the divorce process varies based on many factors including whether your state imposes a waiting period for divorce as well as whether you and your spouse can agree on a divorce settlement or must go to trial to allow a judge to decide on custody, support and division of property. An experienced divorce lawyer helps you throughout divorce proceedings to move things along as quickly as possible while protecting your interests.

Do you have to be separated before you get divorced?

State laws differ regarding whether you must be legally separated before you can dissolve your marriage. In some cases, you must live independently of your spouse for months before you can officially divorce. In other locations, there is no prior separation requirement. If you live in a state that does require you to live separately, be sure to understand exactly what the definition of “separated” is so you do not unnecessarily delay your divorce.

How is property divided in divorce?

You and your spouse can determine how you will split up marital property or the court can divide your assets for you if you can’t come to an agreement on your own. Courts follow the laws of your state when determining how to divide property. In community property states , marital property is divided 50/50. In other states, the court provides an equitable (or fair) distribution of property, which does not necessarily mean an equal distribution.

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Christy Bieber has a JD from UCLA School of Law and began her career as a college instructor and textbook author. She has been writing full time for over a decade with a focus on making financial and legal topics understandable and fun. Her work has appeared on Forbes, CNN Underscored Money, Investopedia, Credit Karma, The Balance, USA Today, and Yahoo Finance, among others.

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No Fault Divorce Texas: A Simple Guide to Filing

Updated: September 5, 2024

Home / Blog / No Fault Divorce Texas: A Simple Guide to Filing

Imagine this: you’re relaxing in your favorite café, minding your own business, when you catch an animated conversation at the next table. “Why complicate things?” one person exclaims. “Nobody wants to air their dirty laundry in court!” Their friend nods in agreement, saying, “Exactly, that’s why we’re choosing no fault divorce Texas !” You perk up, thinking, “Is no fault divorce Texas really that straightforward?”

The answer is a resounding yes! With no fault divorce Texas , you can end your marriage without blaming anyone or dragging personal matters into the open. It’s all about keeping things uncomplicated, prioritizing mutual respect, and avoiding the courtroom drama altogether.

But why should you consider a no-fault divorce? How might it affect your finances, your children’s lives, or even your health insurance? What happens to those retirement accounts you’ve been growing for so long? And, seriously, could your social media really play a role in this? We’ll uncover all the juicy details—from managing debts and assets to understanding the finer points of child custody and your legal rights.

So, pour yourself a cup of coffee, get comfortable, and let’s dive deep into the world of no-fault divorce. This guide is packed with everything you need to know to make the smartest choice for your future. Trust us—you won’t want to miss it!

Key Takeaways

No-fault divorce in Texas allows couples to dissolve their marriage without proving wrongdoing, citing ‘insupportability’ as the primary ground.

The process involves specific steps such as preparing and filing a divorce petition, serving papers to the spouse, and addressing child custody and property division through equitable distribution.

Choosing a no-fault divorce can lead to quicker resolutions, lower legal fees, and reduced emotional tension, making it a more practical option for couples.

Understanding No Fault Divorce in Texas

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we often hear clients ask, What is no-fault divorce in Texas ? Simply put, a no fault divorce Texas allows a couple to dissolve their marriage without needing to prove that either spouse was at fault. Instead of assigning blame, the couple can cite “insupportability,” which is a legal term under Texas Family Code, Section 6.001. This term means that the marriage has become insupportable due to discord or conflict that destroys the legitimate ends of the marital relationship.

Opting for a no fault divorce Texas means there’s no need for painful evidence presentations or accusations. This approach can make the divorce process more amicable, focusing on resolution rather than assigning blame.

However, to file for a no fault divorce Texas , there are specific residency requirements outlined in the Texas Family Code, Section 6.301. At least one spouse must have lived in Texas for at least six months, and in the county where the divorce is being filed for at least 90 days. These requirements ensure that the local courts have the appropriate jurisdiction to handle the case.

The concept of no fault divorce Texas represents a significant shift in family law, providing couples with a more respectful and dignified way to end their marriage. This no-fault option allows couples to focus on moving forward rather than dwelling on the past, reducing emotional strain and promoting a smoother path to separation.

An illustration representing the concept of no fault divorce in Texas.

Grounds for No Fault Divorce in Texas

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand that the decision to divorce is never easy. However, when considering your options, it’s essential to know the benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas . Under Texas Family Code, Section 6.001, the primary ground for a no fault divorce Texas is “insupportability.” This means that the marriage cannot continue due to discord or conflict between the spouses, reflecting irreconcilable differences that make it impossible for the couple to live together harmoniously.

One of the benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas is that it allows for a more amicable separation. Unlike fault-based divorces, where one spouse must prove the other’s misconduct, a no fault divorce Texas focuses on the breakdown of the marital relationship itself, making the process less adversarial.

Additional grounds for a no fault divorce Texas include living separately for three years or more without cohabitation, as outlined in Texas Family Code, Section 6.005. This provision allows couples who have already been living apart to formalize their separation legally. Furthermore, if one spouse has been confined to a mental institution for at least three years, Texas Family Code, Section 6.006, provides a legal pathway for the other spouse to seek the dissolution of the marriage.

No-fault divorce laws were introduced in Texas in the 1970s, revolutionizing the divorce process by removing the need to prove fault. The benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas include fostering a more amicable separation, reducing both the emotional and financial strain often associated with fault-based divorces, and providing a more straightforward path to moving forward with your life.

Visual representation of the grounds for no fault divorce in Texas.

Steps to File for a No Fault Divorce

Filing for a no-fault divorce in Texas involves several key steps, beginning with the preparation of necessary documents and culminating in the finalization of the divorce through the court system. Understanding these steps can help ensure a smoother and more organized process.

First, you will need to prepare your divorce petition, which is the initial document required to begin the divorce process. This document outlines the grounds for the divorce and includes information about child custody, property division, and other relevant matters. Once prepared, the petition must be filed with the court clerk in the county where you reside.

After filing the divorce petition, the next step is to serve the divorce papers to your spouse. This ensures that your spouse is formally notified of the divorce proceedings and has the opportunity to respond. Proper service of papers is crucial for the legal process to move forward smoothly.

Preparing Your Divorce Petition

The first step in initiating a no-fault divorce in Texas is to file the Original Petition for Divorce. This document serves as the primary legal instrument that sets the divorce process in motion. The petition must include specific information about the marriage, grounds for divorce, and any requests for child custody, visitation, and parental responsibilities if children are involved.

In addition to the Original Petition, you may need to submit further documents related to the division of the marital estate, spousal support, and any other issues pertinent to the dissolution of the marriage, including the final divorce decree. Properly preparing these documents is essential for ensuring that all aspects of the divorce are addressed from the outset.

Filing with the Court Clerk

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC , we want you to know how to leverage the benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas to ensure a smooth and efficient process. After deciding to pursue a no fault divorce Texas , the first crucial step is to prepare your divorce petition. According to Texas Family Code, Section 6.301, you must file this petition in the county where one spouse has lived for at least 90 days prior to filing.

Filing your divorce documents with the court clerk begins the formal legal process. You will need to pay a filing fee, which varies by county, and submit all required paperwork to the courthouse in your county of residence. It’s important to make sure that your documents are accurately completed and correctly filed. Any errors can cause unnecessary delays or complications in your case.

To fully take advantage of the benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas , consider consulting with an experienced family law attorney. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we can guide you through the complexities of the filing process, ensuring that everything is handled properly and efficiently. This preparation allows you to focus on moving forward with confidence, knowing that your case is on solid legal footing.

Serving Divorce Papers to Your Spouse

After filing your divorce petition, you must serve the divorce papers to your spouse. This step is crucial for ensuring that your spouse is formally notified of the divorce proceedings and has the opportunity to respond. The initial divorce papers include the citation and a copy of the Original Petition for Divorce.

You cannot personally serve the papers; instead, you must hire a constable, sheriff, or private process server to deliver them. Proper service of papers is essential for the legal process to move forward and for your spouse to be aware of their legal rights and responsibilities.

Benefits of Choosing a No Fault Divorce

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand that divorce can be a challenging and emotional process. However, understanding how to leverage the benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas can make a significant difference. According to Texas Family Code, Section 6.001, a no fault divorce Texas allows couples to dissolve their marriage without assigning blame to either spouse. This can substantially reduce emotional tension, fostering a smoother, less contentious environment where both parties can focus on resolving their issues amicably and efficiently.

In light of the push to end the no fault divorce in Texas , it’s important to recognize that no-fault divorces often provide quicker legal resolutions compared to fault-based divorces. By avoiding lengthy court procedures and the need to present evidence of wrongdoing, the divorce process can be expedited, allowing both parties to move forward with their lives sooner.

Additionally, opting for a no fault divorce Texas can lead to lower legal fees, as it bypasses the complexities and costs associated with proving fault. This approach simplifies the divorce process, reducing the financial burden on both parties and offering a more practical and accessible solution for many couples.

Understanding how to leverage the benefits of choosing a no-fault divorce in Texas is essential, especially in the face of the push to end the no fault divorce in Texas . At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we are here to guide you through every step, ensuring a fair and efficient resolution that prioritizes your well-being and future.

An illustration highlighting the benefits of choosing a no fault divorce.

Navigating the No Fault Divorce Process

Navigating the no-fault divorce process in Texas can be challenging, especially when complications arise. Preparation for potential issues related to dividing assets, child support, and custody is crucial. Understanding the legal requirements and available resources can help you manage these challenges more effectively.

For a contested divorce, your spouse must respond to your petition. They will be given a specific timeframe to do so. Mediation may play a role after filing for divorce, helping couples agree on terms amicably and potentially reducing conflict and court time.

For individuals with limited financial means, resources such as legal clinics and sliding-scale fees can help access legal representation. Emotional support, such as counseling, can also be beneficial for spouses dealing with the repercussions of a divorce, especially when one partner is unresponsive.

An illustration depicting the no fault divorce process in Texas.

Child Custody and Support Considerations

When children are involved in a no-fault divorce, custody and visitation agreements must be filed with the court. The Original Petition for Divorce may need to include additional forms regarding child custody and parental responsibilities.

This type of divorce facilitates a more amicable settlement, which is especially beneficial when children are involved. A cooperative approach to child custody and support can reduce emotional stress and provide a more stable environment for the children.

Property Division and Alimony

In a no-fault divorce, property division is based on equitable distribution, which aims for a fair division rather than an equal one. Texas courts consider factors such as the duration of the marriage and both spouses’ financial situations when determining the division of assets.

Spousal support, or alimony, may be awarded based on various factors, including the duration of the marriage and the financial needs of the receiving spouse. Ensuring fair property division and alimony arrangements is crucial for both parties’ financial stability post-divorce.

Mediation and Settlement Agreements

Mediation provides a constructive environment for couples to negotiate the terms of their settlement amicably. This process can help reduce conflict and expedite the divorce process by allowing both parties to reach an agreement without prolonged court battles.

Mediation in Texas no-fault divorces often leads to more amicable outcomes and can significantly reduce court time. By focusing on collaboration and negotiation, mediation can help couples reach mutually beneficial agreements and move forward with their lives more smoothly.

Importance of Legal Representation

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we recognize that navigating a divorce without a lawyer can lead to significant oversights and potential pitfalls due to the complexities of family law. Even in seemingly amicable situations, the expertise of an attorney is crucial, especially when considering w hat are possible defenses against actions of marital fault .

Under Texas Family Code, Section 6.001, a no fault divorce Texas may simplify the process, but there are still instances where one spouse may assert fault-based grounds, such as adultery or cruelty, to influence the division of assets or custody arrangements. In these cases, having an attorney can help build a strong defense against such claims and protect your rights.

An experienced attorney can provide vital legal advice, ensure that all paperwork is correctly filed, and manage court proceedings effectively. Proper legal representation helps to safeguard your interests and ensures that all legal requirements are met, especially in situations where default judgments may occur if a spouse fails to respond to a petition.

By investing in a lawyer for your divorce proceedings, you are better positioned to defend against any claims of marital fault and achieve a fair resolution. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we are committed to protecting your rights and guiding you through every step of the divorce process.

An illustration emphasizing the importance of legal representation in divorce cases.

Real-Life Examples and Case Studies

Real-life examples and case studies can illustrate the advantages of no-fault divorces and the potential pitfalls of navigating the process without legal representation. For instance, couples who reach mutual agreements on divorce terms can often achieve a swift and peaceful resolution.

The timeline for an uncontested divorce in Texas is generally shorter due to fewer court appearances and a streamlined process. Uncontested divorces tend to have lower legal fees compared to contested ones, as they require less judicial involvement. The benefits of opting for an uncontested divorce include reduced emotional stress and greater control over the divorce outcome.

Additionally, case studies show that the lack of legal representation can lead to significant complications. For example, one husband discovered his wife’s mental health issues only after marriage, prompting him to file for annulment due to her deception. In another case, a woman faced shock upon discovering her husband had a secret family after their marriage, which resulted in an annulment.

Conclusion:

So, there you have it—your roadmap to navigating a no-fault divorce in Texas without the drama! Imagine your life a year from now: you’re at a sunny brunch with friends, laughing about old times, feeling lighter and ready for whatever comes next. No awkward court battles, no blame games—just a fresh start on your own terms.

But remember, the journey doesn’t end here. Whether you’re splitting assets, figuring out child custody, or deciding who keeps the family dog (hey, it’s a serious debate!), you’re making choices that will shape your future. And while a no-fault divorce is all about keeping it simple, that doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park.

Lean on your support network, keep your cool on social media, and don’t shy away from asking for help—be it from legal pros or just your BFF with the best breakup advice. You’re not alone on this ride, and with a little planning (and a lot of self-care), you’ll be well on your way to the next great chapter of your life.

So, take a deep breath, keep your chin up, and know that you’re doing this for you . Because at the end of the day, a no-fault divorce in Texas is not just about ending a marriage; it’s about opening the door to new beginnings. Here’s to your fresh start—go out and make it a great one!

FAQ – No-Fault Divorce in Texas

How does no-fault divorce work in texas.

A no-fault divorce in Texas allows a couple to dissolve their marriage without proving fault or wrongdoing by either spouse. The most common ground cited is ‘insupportability,’ meaning the marriage cannot continue due to conflicts or discord.

What is the new divorce law in Texas?

The new divorce law in Texas emphasizes the use of mediation and alternative dispute resolution methods to reduce court congestion and encourage amicable settlements. While the grounds for divorce remain the same, there is a stronger push toward resolution outside of court.

What is the 10 year rule in divorce in Texas?

The ’10-year rule’ in Texas divorce refers to the eligibility for spousal maintenance. If the marriage lasted 10 years or more, one spouse may be eligible for spousal support if they lack sufficient property or ability to earn an income to provide for their minimum reasonable needs.

How does adultery affect divorce in Texas?

Adultery can significantly affect divorce proceedings in Texas. It is considered a fault-based ground for divorce and may impact decisions regarding property division, spousal support, and even child custody.

Is Texas a 50/50 divorce state?

Texas is a community property state, which means that all marital property is subject to equitable distribution. However, this does not necessarily mean a 50/50 split. The court may divide property in a way it deems fair, considering various factors.

Does Texas require separation before divorce?

No, Texas does not require a legal separation before filing for divorce. Couples can live together or separately while the divorce is being processed.

Does it matter who files for divorce first in Texas?

In most cases, it does not matter who files for divorce first in Texas. However, the person who files first, known as the petitioner, may have the advantage of presenting their case first in court.

Can a spouse refuse a divorce in Texas?

A spouse cannot refuse a divorce in Texas. If one spouse wants a divorce, the court will grant it. However, refusal to cooperate can cause delays and make the process more complicated.

Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.

Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.

His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.

Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.

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Can i get 50/50 time with my children, can you get divorced without a lawyer in texas the ultimate diy guide, understanding why a father might lose custody in texas, contact law office of bryan fagan, pllc today.

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, the firm wants to get to know your case before they commit to work with you. They offer all potential clients a no-obligation, free consultation where you can discuss your case under the client-attorney privilege. This means that everything you say will be kept private and the firm will respectfully advise you at no charge. You can learn more about Texas divorce law and get a good idea of how you want to proceed with your case.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — The Main Causes Of Divorce

Overview of The Main Causes of Divorce

Categories: Divorce Relationship

About this sample

Words: 2043 |

11 min read

Published: Mar 18, 2021

Words: 2043 | Pages: 4 | 11 min read

Introduction, major causes of divorce, causes of divorce: essay conclusion, works cited.

Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 650-666.
Cobb, N., & Boivin, J. (2019). “It takes two to tango”: Communication and trust as predictors of marital satisfaction. The Family Journal, 27(1), 68-74.
Feldman, B. N., & Broussard, C. A. (2006). Men’s adjustment to their wives’ breast cancer: A problem-solving perspective. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 1-7.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. Harmony.
Hawkins, A. J., Blanchard, V. L., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2008). Does marriage and relationship education work? A meta-analytic study. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5), 723-734.
Johnson, M. D., & Anderson, J. R. (2015). The evolution of divorce ideology in the United States. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77(2), 347-360.
Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, method, and research. Psychological Bulletin, 118(1), 3-34.
Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for your marriage: Positive steps for preventing divorce and preserving a lasting love. John Wiley & Sons.
Sassler, S., Addo, F. R., & Lichter, D. T. (2012). The tempo of sexual activity and later relationship quality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(4), 708-725.
Snyder, D. K., Castellani, A. M., & Whisman, M. A. (2006). Current status and future directions in couple therapy. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 317-344.

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Jennifer Lopez revealed real reason she filed for divorce from Ben Affleck just weeks before their film released

The two may be in for a very awkward encounter sooner than you think.

Mia Williams

Jennifer Lopez disclosed the real reason behind her divorce from Ben Affleck, as the two could be due to meet one another in the coming days.

It was revealed that Lopez had filed for a divorce from Affleck on August 21, on the same day of the couple's one year wedding anniversary...ouch!

But fans are now waiting anxiously for the the release of Unstoppable , a movie produced by Ben starring his ex-wife Jennifer , that was shot when the pair were still married.

After a break-up, particularly a high-profile one, the last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by meeting up with your ex and causing even more of a stir.

But this might actually happen for Affleck and Lopez sooner than they thought, as Unstoppable is set to premiere on 6 September at the Toronto International Film Festival.

The real reason behind the split has been revealed. (Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

Will the two make an appearance, followed by a particularly awkward encounter?

That's the question on everyone's lips.

In a surprising update, the reasoning behind J Lo's decision to end her marriage to Gone Girl actor Ben has been revealed.

As per further court documents obtained by Page Six, 55-year-old Jen cited 'irreconcilable differences' when asked to give a reason for her request.

A commonly used reason for marriage terminations - especially in the often-private celebrity realm - Girlings Solicitors describes 'irreconcilable differences' as 'disagreements between people, especially two married people that cannot be resolved'.

This isn't the first time that 'Bennifer' fans have been forced to come to terms with their pair's decision to split.

Rumours of a split started circulating before the announcement. (RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)

Jennifer and Ben were first romantically linked in the early noughties, having met on the set of Gigli back in 2001.

By 2004, however, they'd parted ways, citing the mass media 'scrutiny' that their relationship suffered as the reason.

In 2022, however, after almost two decades apart, they rekindled their romance and tied the knot (twice!), leading fans to believe they'd found their happy ending.

Sadly, though, it wasn't long before cracks started showing in their newly-reunited romance.

Rumours of a split started spiralling when the mother-of-two was seen holidaying separately from her hubby, and opted not to wear her wedding ring on 4th of July weekend, which she also spent alone.

And back in June, fans noticed that Affleck wasn't in attendance for the premiere of his wife's Netflix movie Atlas in Mexico - where she sensationally responded directly to divorce rumours when asked by a reporter.

"You know better than that," she warned at the time.

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Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members Cause and Effect Essay

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Introduction

Impacts of divorce, how divorced spouses cope with the divorce.

Divorce has become a common aspect of our society. Current divorce statistics have been estimated to be 50% in America. This portrays a society where people are moving from a situation where family institutions were used as refugees and comfort zones to a one where they are viewed as a place of doom and suffering.

We cannot deny that divorce has devastating and far reaching effects than we are ready to admit. This paper looks into the impacts of divorce to the various members of the broken marriage, and how they try to live through it.

The effects of divorce are experienced by each and every member of the family regardless of who was at fault.

“The effects of divorce can change virtually every aspect of a person’s life including where a person lives, with whom they live with, their standard of living, their emotional happiness, their assets and liabilities, time spent with children and other family…” (eJustice 2002),

Effects of divorce to couples themselves

Even though the couple is the author of the outcome of the marriage, it does not affect them any less. The effects are on all aspects of life i.e., socially, financially, and psychologically.

Socially, individuals relations with the outside is influenced by the persons failed marriage. “Divorced individuals generally experience more social isolation and have smaller social networks than do married individuals” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

This may result from self pity and feelings of inadequacy that may be developed by the individual in question. Further, there are societies where divorced people are viewed as failures and are allocated a lower social standing as compared to married people. In such traditional societies, divorced people and especially women are not allowed to remarry. So they may end up spending their lives in solitude and unhappy.

Moreover, even where it is completely allowed to remarry, “remarriages are less stable than first marriages…Therefore; divorce appears to influence future marital relationships, making them less stable and more vulnerable to dissolution” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

Economically, a person’s normal life is disrupted and normally one of the couple may have to establish a home elsewhere, which requires funds. Further, divorce legal proceedings can be quite expensive, to hire lawyers and paying witnesses not to mention countless hours spent in courtrooms. In addition, the property accumulated during the subsistence of the marriage is ordinarily split up between the couple and these lowers the standards of living from both ends.

Sometimes, a couple may be unable to obtain judicial help in determining property ownership leaving weaker party, especially women, under the mercy of the other couple. This normally causes unfairness where the party refuses to divide the property in his possession fairy, not to mention hiding some of the property, leaving the other party financially starved.

Researchers have reached a conclusion that there is a disparity between the economic situation of women and that of men after divorce, with women generally being on the lower edge while men experiencing an economic upsurge (Braver and O’Connell 1998).

Psychologically, research has revealed that divorced people portray higher rates of anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and psychological instability, with those having more than one divorce experiences exhibiting more of these tendencies as compared to those with one.

Researchers has it that those who stay married, even though they were unhappy before, are likely to be happier five years later in the marriage as opposed to those who opted for divorce (Waite & Gallagher 2000, P. 148).

The psychological impact causes health implications to the couple. It has been shown that both spouses will greatly suffer a decline in mental health but this may affect women more than men. Further, a couple diagnosed with a terminal illness is more likely to recover within the marriage as compared to a divorced individual (Goodwin et al 1987, P. 3125-3130).

This shows that there are deeper issues associated with divorce besides the financial hurdles and social effects.

Impacts to Children

Divorce has profound implications on the children of the marriage. This is regardless of whether they are adult children or otherwise. Study has shown that divorce has serious implications on development of children and affects their future relationships. These effects may be discussed in terms of what the child has to lose resulting from the divorce. These may include such things as economic loss, lack of parental care and other social disruptions.

Economically, since children are moving from an institution where there are two breadwinners to, in most cases, one-breadwinner family it is normal that the financial status will have to be adjusted to suite the new family setting. This will mean cutting costs to incorporate all the needs of the family to the now constrained family budget.

In extreme cases, where the single parent is unemployed and without a stable source of income, the children may be forced to survive without basic necessities. It has been established that, “[children] in single-parent families have less than one-third the median per capita income of kids from two-parent families, and half of them fall below the poverty line in any given year, compared with 10% of their counterparts in intact families” (Magnet 1992, p 43)

Parental factor has various aspects to it. First of all, divorced parents will no longer live together. The children who were used to being with both parents will have to live with one of them. Adjusting to these new casual relationships between parents may pose problems to most children.

Mostly the children grow up without having the fatherly input in their lives. For children below 5 years, “sleep disturbances and an exacerbated fear of separation from the custodial parent are common. There is usually a great deal of yearning for the non-custodial parent” (Eleoff 2003).

It was concluded that youth of around 20 years still carry around with them painful memories ten years after their parents’ divorce. Billings and Emery (2000) among the things that still weigh down on them is the loss of the relationship with their fathers.

Further, the parent bestowed with the custody of the children may not be very effective on his/her own on the over burdened parental obligation. It could be the ordinary imperfections of a parent or it could have arisen from the after-effects of the divorce process. As argued out before, the psychological stability of the parent may be in question, and this is transmitted to the children, albeit unknowingly.

“In the wake of a divorce, most custodial mothers exhibit varying degrees of disorganization, anger, decreased expectations for appropriate social behavior of their children, and a reduction of the ability of parents to separate the child’s needs and actions from those of the adult” (Eleoff 2003).

The other issue on parents is the fact that, after divorce, parents will remarry and the children will have a different set of parents, step parents. Obviously, the step family will not function as naturally as a normal family does.

More often than not, there will be conflicts of loyalties between step parent and biological parent for the child. “Evidence suggests that each change in parenting arrangements represents a risk factor, thus increasing the likelihood that a child will react negatively to their post-divorce environment”(Demo & Supple 2011).

Social disruptions involve such things as moving houses, changing schools and having adapting new and very different surrounding for the child. Sometimes, it means that the new surroundings are worse off than the one the child is used to. This may be due to financial strains on the single parent.

Study has shown that, constant moving for children of single parent families, increased school drop-outs and chances of unplanned pregnancies. (Crowder and Teachman 2004)

When these children move from their original home and schools, they lose their friends and are forced to start all over again in life, a situation that most children have a problem adjusting to.

Overall, children experience such internal and emotional conflicts as low self-esteem, unfamiliarity to the new surroundings and set of parents, feelings of rejection especially from the parent who is not living with them and feelings of hopelessness and insecurity.

Despite the devastating impacts of a divorce, all the members have to find a way of surviving the divorce. Some of the factors that help family members cope may be economical, social or personal factors.

Personal factors have to do with the personal attributes that are specific to an individual. They include such matters as age, level of education, financial security and psychological stability. Research shows that older people are less likely to cope with a divorce as compared to younger people owing to their impaired chances of remarriage and due the comfort they have established in the marriage all those years.

Also, a person who is financially stable will be more likely to adjust to new family set-up as opposed to people who are unemployed. This is made stronger by the now widely adopted principle of property settlement between spouses, which requires a 50-50 property division. This ensures that both spouses’ living standards are least affected by the divorce.

Also, parties will seek to establish new social networks for support. Some spouses will start new romantic relationships or even remarry so as to forget their former spouses as well as help in the hardships of day to day living.

Divorce is a horrible ordeal to go through. The post-divorce experiences are beyond devastation, both to the members of the family involved and to the society at large. Parties should try to resolve their disputes before rushing for divorce and it should only be a last resort.

Many studies have been done on the level divorce with statistics showing that they are currently very high. However, there hasn’t been conclusive research on what are the causes of this rapidly increasing pandemic or even on how it could be stopped.

Therefore, future studies should concentrate more on how we can combine efforts to reduce the occurrence of more divorces. It is a duty and responsibility of each and every member of the society to uphold and protect the sanctity of the institution of the marriage.

Braver, S. L and O’Connell, D. (1998) Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths. New York: Putnam.

Billings, L & Emery, R. E. (2000). Distress among young adults in divorced families: Journal of Family Psychology , 14, 671-687.

Crowder, K & Teachman, J. (2004). Do residential conditions explain the relationship between living arrangements and adolescent behavior? Journal of Marriage and Family , 66, 721-738.

Eleoff, S. (2003). An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescent: The Pennsylvania, State University College of Medicine eJustice.

Goodwin, S et al. (1987). The Effect of Marital Status on Stage, Treatment, and Survival of Cancer Patients; Journal of the American Medical Association 258: 3125-3130.

Henley, K & Pasley, K. (2011). Divorce- Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects on couples .

Magnet, M. (1992). The American Family : Fortune 10 Aug: 42-47.

Waite, L & Gallagher, M. ( 2000). The Case for Marriage. New York: Doubleday p.148.

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Judge Mathis’ Estranged Wife Serves Him Divorce Papers at $5 Million L.A. Mansion

Judge Greg Mathis ’ estranged wife, Linda Mathis , is quickly moving her divorce from the television star forward, In Touch can exclusively reveal.

According to court documents obtained by In Touch, Linda, 61, hired a process server to personally serve her husband with the divorce papers. The process server drove out to their $5 million home in Beverly Hills at 10:30 a.m. Linda said her husband was handed the paperwork.

Linda filed for divorce on August 22 and had Greg, 64, served the following day.

The exes have been married for 39 years. In her petition, Linda cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the split. She put the date of separation as July 17. The duo has four adult children, Amir, Jade, Greg Jr, and Camara, which makes the issues of custody and child support moot. Linda checked the box to request spousal support from Greg and asked that he be cut off from any support.

A couple of days later, Greg spoke to TMZ about the divorce while arriving at LAX airport. Greg said he was experiencing “the worst days of his life.” When asked how he was holding up, the television judge said, “I’m not holding up very well. Maybe I’ll be an example for another man, cautionary tale, don’t neglect your wife. That's what happens, guys.”

He continued, “Never be too busy. Never have too much fun beyond your wife.” Greg explained that his work schedule had created issues in his marriage. He said he had been on the road for weeks at a time, which he believed his wife did not appreciate.

Greg said he moved his show to Los Angeles earlier this year and the plan was to spend more time with Linda.

"I committed to staying home more and making my wife more of a priority, but as you see, I haven't," he said. "I'm still here on the road doing the same thing in terms of going out and to another city."

He said they were still living in the same house and he was “trying to get my wife back.”

Greg said he had to show her through his actions. “Hopefully, I can show her while we're there together and hopefully, she doesn’t complete the [divorce] process.”

He said he was “changing” in hopes that she would stick around. “I’m going to get my wife back,” he proclaimed. On top of that, he said he wanted to eliminate any rumors that he had a secret baby or cheated. Regarding his wife potentially believing he cheated. "Neglect can create suspicion, certainly," he said .

"If you're gone as much as I am, she has every right to suspect. You go to work, and you go to serve the community around the country. Then, you go with your guys to sporting events around the country and you go to other events without your wife. She would have a right to suspect infidelity."

“That’s not the reason for this,” he ended. Linda has yet to respond to Greg's statements he plans to win her back and have her call off the divorce.

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Chelsea’s Husband’s Cheating Rumors on Selling Sunset Aren’t the Only Reason For Their Divorce…

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It was the bombshell heard around West Hollywood. With the end of their marriage taking center stage in Season 8, it makes sense why fans have questions as to why Chelsea and her husband divorced from Selling Sunset and the real reason for their split. (Spoiler alert: His alleged infidelity wasn’t the only problem in their relationship.)

Why did Chelsea Lazkani and her husband Jeff divorce from Selling Sunset ?

The source also claimed that Chelsea believed Jeff’s alleged infidelity “had been going on for months” before she filed for divorce. “She had suspected the cheating for a while and wanted to catch him in the act before filing,” the insider said. “She finally had enough and decided to file this week, but it was a long time coming. She is still in the house with their kids. She wants him to stay out of the house, and they are not on speaking terms.”

Chelsea’s suspicion that her husband was cheating on her corresponds with her storyline in Selling Sunset Season 5, which saw her cast mate and fellow Oppenheim Group real estate agent, Bre Tiesi , tell Chelsea that a friend of a friend saw Jeff kissing another woman.

Though Chelsea appreciated Bre for bringing the information to her first before telling the rest of the cast, she later changed her mind in a scene with cast mates, Chrishell Stause and Emma Hernan , and accused Bre of trying to set her up on camera. “If you bring something to camera to implode my life — as opposed to just calling me — you will do it on camera. It is really sad,” Chelsea said. “I just want to know what the fuck it is.”

However, the cheating rumors weren’t the only issue in Chelsea and Jeff’s marriage. In court documents obtained by E! News in response to Chelsea’s divorce filing, Jeff claimed that he wanted exclusive possession of his and Chelsea’s home in Manhattan Beach, California, “in part” because Chelsea had been “exhibiting suspicious behavior and several of my personal items within the property have gone missing or have been relocated” since she filed for divorce.

He continued, “In the past, [Chelsea] demonstrated that she is capable of being physically violent and aggressive. For example, about a year ago, [Chelsea] struck me in the face, breaking my glasses and causing a small cut on the side of my face. I have never put a hand on [Chelsea] in a physically aggressive way.”

Jeff also told TMZ at the time of Chelsea’s divorce filing that she found out Chelsea filed for divorce when he received a text message from TMZ, leaving him “stunned.”

Selling Sunset is available to stream on Netflix .

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Badshah says cultural differences led to divorce from Jasmine Masih: It got messy

Badshah discussed his 2020 divorce from jasmine masih, citing cultural adjustment issues. he also shared his views on the institution of marriage and why its fundamentals need to be updated in today's day and age..

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Badshah, Badshah ex-wife, Badshah divorce

Badshah opened up about his divorce with Jasmine Masih
They divorced for the well-being of their daughter
Cultural differences led to their marital issues

Singer-rapper Badshah, who divorced his wife Jasmine Masih in 2020 after being married for eight years, recently opened up about what went wrong in their marriage. Badshah and Jasmine have a daughter named Jessamy Grace Masih Singh. The singer also shared his views on the institution of marriage and why its fundamentals need to be updated in today's day and age.

"I loved her with all my heart," Badshah said when asked about his ex-wife Jasmine during a recent interview with India Today's sister channel, Lallantop . "We met on the internet, on Facebook. Then we met at a friend's party in Chandigarh. After dating for 1.5 years, we got married," the 38-year-old singer said.

He shared that even his parents didn't object to his marriage but only asked him, "Are you sure? Since she was born and brought up in London, it might create problems." And that is what happened. Badshah shared, "She could not adjust to the culture and it got really messy. But we tried our best in that relationship."

View this post on Instagram A post shared by BADSHAH (@badboyshah)

He told Lallantop that his daughter, just like his former wife, practices Christianity and likes his song 'Paani Paani'. However, she is a bigger fan of the South Korean music group Blackpink.

Asked if he lost trust and belief in the institution of marriage, Badshah expressed, "Marriage is a flawed concept in today's day and age. Some modifications need to be done. There's a lot of pressure. I think one should get married after thinking about it properly and after having a certain amount of maturity."

According to the rapper-singer, the ideal age to get married is 40. "You should get married once you are extremely sure, or else the marriage suffers and the institution of marriage is maligned. A relationship is a duty, a full-time job. To co-exist with someone with an opinion is a full-time job, especially when you are strongly opinionated," Badshah concluded.

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This essay aims at discussing the causes and effects of divorce in most marriages. Divorce is defined as a permanent separation between a man and a woman who were initially married to each other. This means that when a man and woman divorce they no longer live together and have the right to get married to any other person (Stewart 7).
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Badshah opened up about his divorce with Jasmine Masih; They divorced for the well-being of their daughter; Cultural differences led to their marital issues; Singer-rapper Badshah, who divorced his wife Jasmine Masih in 2020 after being married for eight years, recently opened up about what went wrong in their marriage. Badshah and Jasmine have ...