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The self presentation theory and how to present your best self

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What does self presentation mean?

What are self presentation goals, individual differences and self presentation.

How can you make the most of the self presentation theory at work?  

We all want others to see us as confident, competent, and likeable — even if we don’t necessarily feel that way all the time. In fact, we make dozens of decisions every day — whether consciously or unconsciously — to get people to see us as we want to be seen. But is this kind of self presentation dishonest? Shouldn’t we just be ourselves?

Success requires interacting with other people. We can’t control the other side of those interactions. But we can think about how the other person might see us and make choices about what we want to convey. 

Self presentation is any behavior or action made with the intention to influence or change how other people see you. Anytime we're trying to get people to think of us a certain way, it's an act of self presentation. Generally speaking, we work to present ourselves as favorably as possible. What that means can vary depending on the situation and the other person.

Although at first glance this may seem disingenuous, we all engage in self-presentation. We want to make sure that we show up in a way that not only makes us look good, but makes us feel good about ourselves.

Early research on self presentation focused on narcissism and sociopathy, and how people might use the impression others have of them to manipulate others for their benefit. However, self presentation and manipulation are distinct. After all, managing the way others see us works for their benefit as well as ours.

Imagine, for example, a friend was complaining to you about   a tough time they were having at work . You may want to show up as a compassionate person. However, it also benefits your friend — they feel heard and able to express what is bothering them when you appear to be present, attentive, and considerate of their feelings. In this case, you’d be conscious of projecting a caring image, even if your mind was elsewhere, because you value the relationship and your friend’s experience.

To some extent, every aspect of our lives depends on successful self-presentation. We want our families to feel that we are worthy of attention and love. We present ourselves as studious and responsible to our teachers. We want to seem fun and interesting at a party, and confident at networking events. Even landing a job depends on you convincing the interviewer that you are the best person for the role.

There are three main reasons why people engage in self presentation:

Tangible or social benefits:

In order to achieve the results we want, it often requires that we behave a certain way. In other words, certain behaviors are desirable in certain situations. Matching our behavior to the circumstances can help us connect to others,   develop a sense of belonging , and attune to the needs and feelings of others.

Example:   Michelle is   a new manager . At her first leadership meeting, someone makes a joke that she doesn’t quite get. When everyone else laughs, she smiles, even though she’s not sure why.

By laughing along with the joke, Michelle is trying to fit in and appear “in the know.” Perhaps more importantly, she avoids feeling (or at least appearing) left out, humorless, or revealing that she didn’t get it — which may hurt her confidence and how she interacts with the group in the future.

To facilitate social interaction:

As mentioned, certain circumstances and roles call for certain behaviors. Imagine a defense attorney. Do you think of them a certain way? Do you have expectations for what they do — or don’t — do? If you saw them frantically searching for their car keys, would you feel confident with them defending your case?

If the answer is no, then you have a good idea of why self presentation is critical to social functioning. We’re surprised when people don’t present themselves in a way that we feel is consistent with the demands of their role. Having an understanding of what is expected of you — whether at home, work, or in relationships — may help you succeed by inspiring confidence in others.

Example:   Christopher has always been called a “know-it-all.” He reads frequently and across a variety of topics, but gets nervous and tends to talk over people. When attending a networking event, he is uncharacteristically quiet. Even though he would love to speak up, he’s afraid of being seen as someone who “dominates” the conversation. 

Identity Construction:

It’s not enough for us to declare who we are or what we want to be — we have to take actions consistent with that identity. In many cases, we also have to get others to buy into this image of ourselves as well. Whether it’s a personality trait or a promotion, it can be said that we’re not who   we   think we are, but who others see.

Example:   Jordan is interested in moving to a client-facing role. However, in their last performance review, their manager commented that Jordan seemed “more comfortable working independently.” 

Declaring themselves a “people person” won’t make Jordan’s manager see them any differently. In order to gain their manager’s confidence, Jordan will have to show up as someone who can comfortably engage with clients and thrive in their new role.

We may also use self presentation to reinforce a desired identity for ourselves. If we want to accomplish something, make a change, or   learn a new skill , making it public is a powerful strategy. There's a reason why people who share their goals are more likely to be successful. The positive pressure can help us stay accountable to our commitments in a way that would be hard to accomplish alone.

Example:   Fatima wants to run a 5K. She’s signed up for a couple before, but her perfectionist tendencies lead her to skip race day because she feels she hasn’t trained enough. However, when her friend asks her to run a 5K with her, she shows up without a second thought.

In Fatima’s case, the positive pressure — along with the desire to serve a more important value (friendship) — makes showing up easy.

Because we spend so much time with other people (and our success largely depends on what they think of us), we all curate our appearance in one way or another. However, we don’t all desire to have people see us in the same way or to achieve the same goals. Our experiences and outcomes may vary based on a variety of factors.

One important factor is our level of self-monitoring when we interact with others. Some people are particularly concerned about creating a good impression, while others are uninterested. This can vary not only in individuals, but by circumstances.   A person may feel very confident at work , but nervous about making a good impression on a first date.

Another factor is self-consciousness — that is, how aware people are of themselves in a given circumstance. People that score high on scales of public self-consciousness are aware of how they come across socially. This tends to make it easier for them to align their behavior with the perception that they want others to have of them.

Finally, it's not enough to simply want other people to see you differently. In order to successfully change how other people perceive you, need to have three main skills: 

1. Perception and empathy

Successful self-presentation depends on being able to correctly perceive   how people are feeling , what's important to them, and which traits you need to project in order to achieve your intended outcomes.

2. Motivation

If we don’t have a compelling reason to change the perception that others have of us, we are not likely to try to change our behavior. Your desire for a particular outcome, whether it's social or material, creates a sense of urgency.

3.  A matching skill set

You’ve got to be able to walk the talk. Your actions will convince others more than anything you say. In other words, you have to provide evidence that you are the person you say you are. You may run into challenges if you're trying to portray yourself as skilled in an area where you actually lack experience.

How can you make the most of the self presentation theory at work?

At its heart, self presentation requires a high-level of self awareness and empathy. In order to make sure that we're showing up as our best in every circumstance — and with each person — we have to be aware of our own motivation as well as what would make the biggest difference to the person in front of us.

Here are 6 strategies to learn to make the most of the self-presentation theory in your career:

1. Get feedback from people around you

Ask a trusted friend or mentor to share what you can improve. Asking for feedback about specific experiences, like a recent project or presentation, will make their suggestions more relevant and easier to implement.

2. Study people who have been successful in your role

Look at how they interact with other people. How do you perceive them? Have they had to cultivate particular skills or ways of interacting with others that may not have come easily to them?

3. Be yourself

Look for areas where you naturally excel and stand out. If you feel comfortable, confident, and happy, you’ll have an easier time projecting that to others. It’s much harder to present yourself as confident when you’re uncomfortable.

4. Be aware that you may mess up

As you work to master new skills and ways of interacting with others,   keep asking for feedback . Talk to your manager, team, or a trusted friend about how you came across. If you sense that you’ve missed the mark, address it candidly. People will understand, and you’ll learn more quickly.

Try saying, “I hope that didn’t come across as _______. I want you to know that…”

5. Work with a coach

Coaches are skilled in interpersonal communication and committed to your success. Roleplay conversations to see how they land, and practice what you’ll say and do in upcoming encounters. Over time, a coach will also begin to know you well enough to notice patterns and suggest areas for improvement.

6. The identity is in the details

Don’t forget about the other aspects of your presentation. Take a moment to visualize yourself being the way that you want to be seen. Are there certain details that would make you feel more like that person? Getting organized, refreshing your wardrobe, rewriting your resume, and even cleaning your home office can all serve as powerful affirmations of your next-level self.

Self presentation is defined as the way we try to control how others see us, but it’s just as much about how we see ourselves. It is a skill to achieve a level of comfort with who we are   and   feel confident to choose how we self-present. Consciously working to make sure others get to see the very best of you is a wonderful way to develop into the person you want to be.

Understand Yourself Better:

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Allaya Cooks-Campbell

With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

Impression management: Developing your self-presentation skills

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The Art of Self Presentation: Impression Management and Self-Identity

Table of Contents

Have you ever considered how the simple act of introducing yourself at a party, or the way you dress for a job interview, can be a strategic move? Behind these seemingly mundane actions lies a complex process we all engage in, known as self-presentation . Self-presentation, or impression management , is not just about vanity or a superficial attempt to be liked. It’s a fundamental aspect of human interaction, deeply rooted in psychology and sociology. Let’s dive into the nuances of how we present ourselves to the world and the motives that drive us to manage impressions.

Understanding self-presentation

Self-presentation is the process by which individuals attempt to control the impressions others form of them. It’s a performance where the stage is everyday life, and the audience is the people around us. We employ a variety of verbal, nonverbal, and stylistic cues to craft an image that serves our goals. Whether it’s the confidence in our voice during a presentation, the firmness of our handshake, or the meticulous choice of attire for an event, each element is a deliberate choice in the art of self-presentation.

Verbal cues

• Language and tone: The words we choose and the tone we adopt can convey authority, warmth, intelligence, or humility.
• Storytelling: Narratives about our experiences and achievements can shape how others see us.

Non verbal cues

• Body language: Posture, gestures, and facial expressions communicate emotions and attitudes without words.
• Eye contact: Maintaining or avoiding eye contact can signal confidence, respect, or evasion.

Stylistic cues

• Dress and grooming: How we dress and groom ourselves can signal our social status, professionalism, or group affiliations.
• Accessories and props: Objects we carry or display can be symbols of our identity or status.

The motives behind self-presentation

Why do we go to such lengths to manage how others perceive us? There are two primary drivers: instrumental and expressive motives . Instrumental motives are goal-directed. We present ourselves in a certain way to achieve specific outcomes, such as gaining favor, avoiding conflict, or securing a promotion. On the other hand, expressive motives are about self-expression and identity. We manage impressions to convey who we believe we are and to maintain a consistent self-image.

Instrumental motives

• Influence: We may present ourselves as competent or likable to sway others to our point of view or to get them to do something for us.
• Obtaining rewards: A well-managed impression can lead to tangible benefits like job offers, social connections, or recognition.

Expressive motives

• Self-identity: Through self-presentation, we affirm and communicate our values, beliefs, and unique personality traits.
• Group identity: We may also use self-presentation to identify with a particular social group, aligning ourselves with its norms and values.

Maintaining consistency in self-presentation

The key to effective self-presentation is consistency. Inconsistencies between our words and actions can lead to a loss of credibility and trust. For instance, if you profess a commitment to environmental causes but are seen littering, this discrepancy can tarnish your image. Such inconsistencies can also lead to cognitive dissonance , a psychological state where we experience discomfort due to conflicting beliefs or behaviors. To resolve this discomfort, we may adjust our attitudes or behaviors to align with the image we wish to project.

Aligning actions and words

• Consistent messaging: Ensure that what you say matches what you do. This builds trust and authenticity in your image.
• Behavioral adjustments: Sometimes, to maintain consistency in our self-presentation, we may change our behavior to align with the impressions we’ve created.

Dealing with cognitive dissonance

• Awareness: Recognize when your actions do not match your expressed attitudes or the identity you’re trying to convey.
• Adjustment: Alter your behaviors or attitudes to reduce the dissonance and create a coherent self-image.

Self-presentation in the digital age

As we navigate the digital world, self-presentation has taken on new dimensions. Social media platforms have become stages where we curate images of ourselves through photos, status updates, and interactions. The line between public and private selves blurs as we manage impressions for a potentially global audience. This digital self-presentation comes with its own challenges and opportunities for expression and influence.

Creating a digital identity

• Curated content: We carefully select which parts of our lives to share online, often emphasizing positive and flattering aspects to craft an idealized self-image.
• Feedback loops: Likes, comments, and shares provide immediate feedback, influencing future self-presentation choices.

Navigating the pitfalls

• Authenticity vs. curation: Striking a balance between presenting an ideal self and remaining authentic is a challenge in the digital world.
• Privacy concerns: Deciding how much personal information to share online is a critical aspect of digital self-presentation.

Self-presentation is a crucial part of human interaction, deeply intertwined with our social world and our sense of self. Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’re all engaged in impression management, both offline and online. By understanding the motives and methods behind self-presentation, we can navigate social situations more effectively and authentically. It’s a delicate dance of influence and expression, where the ultimate goal is to present a self that aligns with our identity and aspirations.

What do you think? How do you manage your self-presentation in different social settings? Have you ever experienced cognitive dissonance due to misalignment between your actions and the image you wanted to project?

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Social Psychology

1 Definition, Concept and Research Methods in Social Psychology

• Definition and Concept of Social Psychology
• Research Methods in Social Psychology
• Experimental Methods
• Non-Experimental Methods
• Other Research Methods
• Research Ethics

2 Historical Perspective of Social Psychology, Social Psychology and Other Related Disciplines

• Historical Perspective
• Landmarks in the History of Social Psychology
• Social Psychology and Other Related Disciplines
• Significance of Social Psychology Today

3 Social and Person Perception – Definition, Description and Functional Factors

• Social Cognition – Description and Nature
• Social Perception – Definition
• Understanding Temporary States
• Understanding of the Most Permanent or Lasting Characteristics – Attributions
• Impression Formation
• Implicit Personality Theory
• Person Perception
• Social Categorisation

4 Cognitive Basis and Dynamics of Social Perception and Person Perception

• Cognitive and Motivational Basis of Social and Person Perception
• Bias in Attribution
• Role of Emotions and Motivation in Information Processing
• Motivated Person Perception
• Effect of Cognitive and Emotional States

5 Definition, Concept, Description, Characteristic of Attitude

• Defining Attitudes
• Attitudes, Values, and Beliefs
• Formation of Attitudes
• Functions of Attitudes

6 Components of Attitude

• ABCs of Attitudes
• Properties of Attitudes

7 Predicting Behaviour from Attitude

• Relationship between Attitude and Behaviour
• Attitudes Predict Behaviour
• Attitudes Determine Behaviour?
• Behaviour Determine Attitudes

8 Effecting Attitudinal Change and Cognitive Dissonance Theory, Compliance of Self-perception Theory, Self-affirmation

• Self Presentation
• Cognitive Dissonance
• Self Perception
• Self Affirmation

9 Introduction to Groups- Definition, Characteristics and Types of Groups

• Groups-Definition Meaning and Concepts
• Characteristics Features of Group
• Types of Group
• The Role of Groups

10 Group Process- Social Facilitation, Social Loafing, Group Interaction, Group Polarization and Group Mind

• Social Facilitation
• Social Loafing
• Group Interaction
• Group Polarization

11 Group Behaviour- Influence of Norms, Status and Roles; Introduction to Crowd Behavioural Theory, Crowd Psychology (Classical and Convergence Theories)

• Human Behaviour in Groups
• Influence of Norms Status and Roles
• Crowd Behavioural Theory
• Crowd Psychology

12 Crowd Psychology- Collective Consciousness and Collective Hysteria

• Crowd: Definition and Characteristics
• Crowd Psychology: Definition and Characteristics
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• Collective Hysteria

13 Definition of Norms, Social Norms, Need and Characteristics Features of Norms

• Meaning of Norms
• Types of Norms
• Violation of Social Norms
• Need and Importance of Social Norms
• Characteristic Features of Social Norms

14 Norm Formation, Factors Influencing Norms, Enforcement of Norms, Norm Formation and Social Conformity

• Norm Formation
• Factors Influencing Norm Formation
• Enforcement of Norms
• Social Conformity

15 Autokinetic Experiment in Norm Formation

• Autokinetic Effect
• Sherif’s Experiment
• Salient Features of Sherif’s Autokinetic Experiments
• Critical Appraisal
• Related Latest Research on Norm Formation

16 Norms and Conformity- Asch’s Line of Length Experiments

• Solomon E. Asch – A Leading Social Psychologist
• Line and Length Experiments
• Alternatives Available with Probable Consequences
• Explanation of the Yielding Behaviour
• Variants in Asch’s Experiments
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The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life

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The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life is a book published in the U.S. in 1959, by sociologist Erving Goffman. In it, Goffman uses the imagery of theater in order to portray the nuances and significance of face-to-face social interaction. Goffman puts forth a theory of social interaction that he refers to as the dramaturgical model of social life.

According to Goffman, social interaction may be likened to a theater, and people in everyday life to actors on a stage, each playing a variety of roles. The audience consists of other individuals who observe the role-playing and react to the performances. In social interaction, like in theatrical performances, there is a 'front stage' region where the actors are on stage  before an audience, and their consciousness of that audience and the audience's expectations for the role they should play influence the actor's behavior. There is also a back region, or backstage, where individuals can relax, and be themselves in front of others.

Central to the book and Goffman 's theory is the idea that people, as they interact in social settings, are constantly engaged in the process of "impression management," wherein each tries to present themselves and behave in a way that will prevent embarrassment of themselves or others. This is primarily done by each person who is part of the interaction working to ensure that all parties have the same "definition of the situation," meaning that all understand what is meant to happen in that situation, what to expect from the others involved, and thus how they should behave.

Though written over half a century ago,  The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life  remains one of the most famous and widely taught sociology books, listed as the 10th most important sociology book of the 20th century by the International Sociological Association in 1998.

Performance

Goffman uses the term performance to refer to all activity of an individual in front of a particular set of observers, or audience. Through this performance, the individual, or actor, gives meaning to themselves, to others, and to their situation. These performances deliver impressions to others, communicating information that confirms the actor's identity in that situation. The actor may or may not be aware of their performance or have an objective for their performance, however, the audience is constantly attributing meaning to it and the actor.

The setting for the performance includes the scenery, props, and location where the interaction takes place. Different settings will have different audiences and will thus require the actor to alter his performance for each setting.

Appearance functions to portray the performer’s social status to the audience. Appearance also tells us of the individual’s temporary social state or role, for example, whether he is engaging in work (by wearing a uniform), informal recreation, or a formal social activity. Here, dress and props communicate things that have socially ascribed meaning, like gender , status, occupation, age, and personal commitments.

Manner refers to how the individual plays the role and functions to warn the audience of how the performer will act or seek to act in a role (for example, dominant, aggressive, receptive, etc.). Inconsistency and contradiction between appearance and manner may occur and will confuse and upset an audience. This can happen, for example, when one does not present himself or behave by his perceived social status or position.

The actor’s front, as labeled by Goffman, is the part of the individual’s performance that defines the situation for the audience. It is the image or impression he or she gives to the audience. A social front can also be thought of as a script. Certain social scripts tend to become institutionalized in terms of the stereotyped expectations they contain. Certain situations or scenarios have social scripts that suggest how the actor should behave or interact. If the individual takes on a task or role that is new to him or her, he or she may find there are already several well-established fronts among which he or she must choose. According to Goffman, when a task is given a new front or script, we rarely find the script is completely new. Individuals commonly use pre-established scripts to follow for new situations, even if it is not completely appropriate or desired.

Front Stage, Back Stage, and Off Stage

In stage drama , as in everyday interactions, according to Goffman, there are three regions, each with different effects on an individual’s performance: front stage, backstage, and off-stage. The front stage is where the actor formally performs and adheres to conventions that have particular meaning for the audience. The actor knows he or she is being watched and acts accordingly.

When in the backstage region , the actor may behave differently than when in front of the audience on the front stage. This is where the individual truly gets to be herself and get rid of the roles she plays when in front of other people.

Finally, the off-stage region is where individual actors meet the audience members independently of the team performance on the front stage. Specific performances may be given when the audience is segmented as such.

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self-monitoring

impression management

performance

Erving Goffman (1922—1982)

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The conscious or unconscious control of the impression that one creates in social interactions or situations. It is one of the important forms of impression management, namely management of one's own impression on others through role playing. The phenomenon is encapsulated in Shakespeare's famous observation in As You Like It: ‘All the world's a stage, / And all the men and women merely players: / They have their exits and their entrances; / And one man in his time plays many parts’ (II.vii.139–42). It was popularized by the Canadian-born US sociologist Erving Goffman (1922–82) in his influential book The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959). See also ingratiation, self-monitoring, social constructionist psychology.

From:   self-presentation   in  A Dictionary of Psychology »

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Other forms: selves; selfs

Your self is your sense of who you are, deep down — your identity. When you let someone else know you well, you reveal your true self to them.

If the subject of your thoughts is you , you're thinking about your self — or, alternately, yourself. There are parts of your brain that make it possible for you to think about the concept of self , and schools of philosophy devoted to exploring why people have a unique sense of self. Psychologists also study the development of the self, or the beginning of self-awareness, in children. Self comes from the Old English, in which it means "one's own person."

• noun your consciousness of your own identity synonyms: ego see more see less types: anima (Jungian psychology) the inner self (not the external persona) that is in touch with the unconscious type of: consciousness an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself and your situation
• noun a person considered as a unique individual “one's own self ” see more see less types: number one a reference to yourself or myself etc.; `take care of number one' means to put your own interests first type of: individual , mortal , person , somebody , someone , soul a human being
• adjective (used as a combining form) relating to--of or by or to or from or for--the self “ self -knowledge” “ self -proclaimed” “ self -induced”

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SELF-PRESENTATION

Any behaviour that is designed to convey an image about ourselves to other people. This explains why our behaviour can change if we notice we are being watched. See impression management.

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presentation of self

Meanings of presentation and self.

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(Definition of presentation and self from the Cambridge English Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)

• Examples of presentation of self

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a soft toy bear

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• Definition of presentation
• Definition of self
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• Other collocations with presentation

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noun as in being

Strongest matches

• individuality
• personality

Strong matches

• substantive

Weak matches

Example Sentences

Both of the tests she took were of the nasal swab variety, although the one she took on campus was self-administered.

A vicious cycle of rejection by others played out in which undercontrolled youngsters never had opportunities to learn social skills and self-control.

Even though what she’s doing is sometimes very self-serving, and sometimes it’s downright menacing, she still has her reasons.

Those crystals provide a nucleation point where the sugar structure — the candy — can self-assemble.

Florida, concerned that it had taken on too much risk, has since scaled back its self-insurance plan.

We see detoxing as a path to transcendence, a symbol of modern urban virtue and self-transformation through abstinence.

Stephanie Giorgio, a classical musician, credits The Class for helping her cope with anxiety, focus, fear, and self-doubt.

For someone with anorexia, self-starvation makes them feel better.

I went into the audition as Fericito, the Venezuelan percussionist, and then I did a self-defense expert.

Those who come to the Dinner Party are self-selecting; they do want to talk about it.

Let the thought of self pass in, and the beauty of great action is gone, like the bloom from a soiled flower.

Now this setting up of an orderly law-abiding self seems to me to imply that there are impulses which make for order.

At present, Louis was too self-absorbed by the struggles within him, to look deep into what was passing around him.

But to wave this discourse of Heathens, how many self-contradicting principles are there held among Christians?

Jean grinned and dribbled self-consciously, and showed his two little teeth to the proudest father in the world.

Related Words

Words related to self are not direct synonyms, but are associated with the word self . Browse related words to learn more about word associations.

noun as in essential nature

• essentiality
• quintessence

noun as in personality

• self-admiration

noun as in person's individuality

• circumstances
• distinctiveness
• identification
• particularity
• singularity

noun as in singular person, thing

• human being

Viewing 5 / 12 related words

From Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.

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self - rep re sen ta tion

Definition of self-representation.

Note: In legal terminology, a person who engages in self-representation can be said to be acting pro se or in propria persona .

Examples of self-representation in a Sentence

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'self-representation.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

Word History

1696, in the meaning defined above

Dictionary Entries Near self-representation

self-report

self-representation

self-repression

Cite this Entry

“Self-representation.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-representation. Accessed 9 Sep. 2024.

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Synonyms for Self-representation

137 other terms for self-representation - words and phrases with similar meaning.

Alternatively