thesis statement for financial aid

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How to Write a Financial Aid Statement

Last Updated: February 1, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Michael R. Lewis . Michael R. Lewis is a retired corporate executive, entrepreneur, and investment advisor in Texas. He has over 40 years of experience in business and finance, including as a Vice President for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas. He has a BBA in Industrial Management from the University of Texas at Austin. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 557,078 times.

The financial aid statement is a simple, short piece of writing that students may include on a financial aid letter, in an essay, or in other communications to a financial aid department. The financial aid statement may not be a full communication on its own, but rather an element of a more complex financial aid appeal. If you need to write such a statement in order to reach out to a university or college's financial aid office, follow some basic steps.

Sample Statements and Things to Include

Writing a Statement of Financial Need

• For example, you could write the following: “My parents moved to the United States from Albania in order to give us better opportunities. As their oldest child, I will be the first in our family to attend college.”

• For example, write something like this: “I have worked to help support my family since I was 16 years old. Currently, I work on the weekends as a waitress to support myself. My parents also give me what they can each month. Since my parents didn’t speak English when we moved here, it was very difficult for them to support our family. My mother worked many hours as a housekeeper in a hotel. They saved what they could, but we do not have enough savings to pay for my college education."

• For example: “My earnings from my weekend job cover my living expenses. I worked extra shifts over the summer and saved enough to pay for a portion of this year’s tuition. However, I am seeking aid for the portion of the tuition I cannot cover on my own.”

• For example: “Receiving financial aid will allow me to focus on my studies during the week without having to worry about earning extra money. I would continue to work on the weekends to cover my living expenses, but I would be able to keep the weekdays free to focus solely on my school work.”

• For example: “Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to discussing my opportunities with you.”

Writing a Statement for a Scholarship

• For example: “I am applying for this scholarship in order to further my studies in education. My long-term goal is to work as an ESL teacher in an inner city environment. My academic, work and personal experiences have lead me to this career goal.”

• For example: “I graduated from my undergraduate institution with a 4.0 GPA. I had a double major of Elementary Education and Spanish, with a minor in Sociology. I applied for and received a prestigious internship working with the state government on developing educational policies.”

• For example: “My parents moved our family to this country from Albania when I was 12 years old. I did not speak any English when we arrived. The ESL teachers in my school helped me to be successful in school, and I want to do the same for other students in my circumstances.”

• For example: “Each summer, I volunteer for the Migrant Workers Education Association in Chester County, Pennsylvania. They service migrant workers who come here from Mexico to work on mushroom farms. We not only link families with community services, but we also tutor children in English and help them learn important school skills that will allow them to be successful in school.”

• For example: “My experiences as an ESL student and an English tutor have taught me the value of helping children to feel successful and empowered. I know the meaning of hard work, and I have learned how to overcome challenges in my own personal and academic life.”

Making Your Personal Statement Successful

Expert Q&A

You might also like.

• ↑ http://www.bestvalueschools.com/faq/what-is-a-statement-of-financial-need/
• ↑ https://www.goingmerry.com/blog/how-to-write-a-scholarship-essay-or-statement-about-your-financial-need-with-examples/
• ↑ https://www.laguardia.edu/uploadedfiles/main_site/content/supporters_friends/docs/scholarship_personal_statement.pdf
• ↑ https://scholarships360.org/financial-aid/how-to-write-a-statement-of-financial-need/
• ↑ https://custom-writing.org/blog/financial-needs-essay
• ↑ http://financialaid.ucdavis.edu/scholarships/tips/personal.html

About This Article

If you’re writing a statement of financial need, make it personal by sharing information about yourself and what's motivating you to pursue your studies. Try to be authentic, to write honestly about what you've already accomplished and what you hope to do with your education. Use specific examples if you can to reinforce the points you're trying to make. Finally, be sure to start your first draft early enough to get feedback from teachers or advisers and make revisions before you submit it. For more advice from our reviewer, including how to write a statement for a scholarship, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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• Applying For Scholarships

Financial Need Scholarship Essay Examples (2023)

Jennifer Finetti Oct 2, 2022

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Many scholarships are awarded based on financial need. In order to win these scholarships, you must explain the nature of your financial need. In the guide below, we’ll explain how to write these types of essays to increase your chances of winning. Check out these scholarship essay examples for financial need scholarships.

How to write financial need scholarship essays

Here are some tips for writing financial need scholarship essays:

• Maintain a positive tone throughout the essay . You do not want to come across as self-pitying. Focus on ways you learned and grew from past experiences – how they made you stronger.
• Do not diminish other people’s suffering. This is a competition, but that doesn’t mean you should belittle your competitors. In fact, it would be better to say “I know there are many worthy candidates for this scholarship, but…” than to say “I have suffered far more than…” Show respect in everything you write.
• Frame your essay around a specific event. You may add other details if you have space to, but use one experience as the thesis for your essay.
• Avoid controversial statements and opinions. When discussing events from your past, do not belittle someone else or talk negatively about a group of people. You never know who will be reading your essay.
• Tell your story with honesty. Do not fabricate any details to make yourself sound needy. Your past and present circumstances will speak for themselves.
• Don’t try to sound philosophical. Some students will do this because they think it makes them seem smarter, but it rarely has that effect. Focus on proofreading and writing solid content. That is enough intelligence on its own.
• Discuss your career goals, if possible. You may not have room for this if the essay is short. If you do have room though, discussing your career goals will indicate a plan for the future. Review boards reward determination.

You know why you need financial aid. Tap into the key elements of your circumstances and use them to craft the perfect essay.

Many scholarships are awarded based on financial need. In order to win these scholarships, you must explain the nature of your financial need. In the guide below, we’ve provided examples of scholarship essays for financial need scholarships, along with some tips to help you write your own essay.

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Example 1: “Provide a statement of financial need”

Some scholarships will simply ask for a statement of financial need. There are no parameters to follow. You’re left to write whatever you want. Typically, a statement of financial need is two or three small paragraphs. This will come out to roughly 150-200 words, but it could be slightly longer. Think of this as a cover letter for your scholarship application, highlighting the key elements of your financial need. Don’t build up to the thesis. Get directly to the point.

I am the first person in my family to graduate high school, and thus the first to attend college. Both of my parents dropped out of school when they were teenagers. Because of their limited education, they have always worked in entry-level positions, earning barely enough to put food on the table. My first job I got was at the age of 12 delivering papers, and I have worked hard ever since to relieve pressure from my family. I enrolled in Mississippi’s HELP program during my senior year, which covers tuition and fees at select colleges in the state. I also have a Federal Pell Grant to cover my housing. However, I still need funding for books, supplies, and transportation to campus as needed. I am an engineering student, and our classes come with high fees. My parents cannot contribute to my college expenses, and I cannot work much while I’m in school. This scholarship would help me avoid costly student loans that could take years to repay.  

Example 2: “Describe your financial need in 100 words”

This essay is even shorter than the financial need statement. It may be one of several short answer questions you need to fill out. Working with 100 words is tricky. That only leaves room for about 7-10 sentences, depending on length. Make compelling statements using the fewest words possible.

Also note that grammar errors and misspellings will be much more noticeable in this short essay. Carefully proofread your writing before submitting the scholarship application.

I got pregnant and dropped out of high school when I was 15. By the age of 20, I had two more children, and we all shared a one-bedroom apartment. I worked three jobs to pay the bills, but I never earned much. When my oldest started high school, I did the same. I got my GED at 29 and enrolled in nursing school. My financial status has improved now with a GED, but I’m still a single mom with three kids. I want to become a registered nurse to give my children a stable future. I appreciate your consideration.

Word Count: 100

Example 3: “Explain your financial need in 500 or more words”

This scholarship essay prompt is the opposite of the one above. You have much more room to discuss your circumstances. Talk about your family life, your income, and other restraints that contribute to your financial aid . Try not to throw too much in the essay though. You want the information to flow together seamlessly. Edit carefully, and give the readers a full view of your situation.

My name is Brandon Noviello. I am a sophomore on track to earn my Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. I need financial aid because I do not have a family to contribute to my education. I was in foster care for two years before I aged out of the system, and now I am pursuing a degree completely on my own. I was raised by a wonderful woman who didn’t always have a wonderful life. My mother got pregnant after a sexual assault, but she was determined to raise a smart, successful man. She went through an accelerated program to graduate high school before I was born. She devoted the rest of her life to supporting me, both financially and emotionally. My mother’s family cut ties with her the moment she became pregnant. Life wasn’t easy for us, but I never wanted for anything. She always found a way to keep me fed, dressed, and in school. Unfortunately, she lost a long-term battle with depression when I was 16, and I was put into the foster system until I reached adulthood. I did not have a positive experience with foster care, but I admit, I had no desire to. My mother’s passing weighed heavily on my mind, and I felt an overwhelming sense of anger, regret, and frustration. There was one gleam of hope in my experience though. I had a great social worker. I fought her decisions every step of the way, and she still managed to find a family to get me through high school. My social worker was the only person I invited to my graduation ceremony.  She helped me realize how much one person’s efforts can make a difference in the lives of others. I was only one of countless children she had helped over the years. I researched how to become a social worker so I could help other children like me. My plan is to work with the Department of Human Services in the foster care and adoption division after I graduate. In order to make my dreams a reality, I need financial aid. I am working as a server to pay for food, utilities, and basic necessities, but I do not earn enough to pay for college as well. I go to school during the day and work at night. Furthermore, I have a maximum Pell Grant to cover most of my tuition, but I still need help with other expenses. I did not do well in high school as a result of my mom’s passing, but I have done well in college. I have a 3.25 cumulative GPA, and I have never made less than an A in a degree-related course. As such, I am committed to being successful despite my circumstances, and I want to help young people find that motivation within themselves. I look forward to working with children and teens in the foster system, so I can be the hope that someone else was for me.

Word Count: 498

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Jennifer Finetti

As a parent who recently helped her own kids embark on their college journeys, Jennifer approaches the transition from high school to college from a unique perspective. She truly enjoys engaging with students – helping them to build the confidence, knowledge, and insight needed to pursue their educational and career goals, while also empowering them with the strategies and skills needed to access scholarships and financial aid that can help limit college costs. She understands the importance of ensuring access to the edtech tools and resources that can make this process easier and more equitable - this drive to support underserved populations is what drew her to ScholarshipOwl. Jennifer has coached students from around the world, as well as in-person with local students in her own community. Her areas of focus include career exploration, major selection, college search and selection, college application assistance, financial aid and scholarship consultation, essay review and feedback, and more. She works with students who are at the top of their class, as well as those who are struggling. She firmly believes that all students, regardless of their circumstances, can succeed if they stay focused and work hard in school. Jennifer earned her MA in Counseling Psychology from National University, and her BA in Psychology from University of California, Santa Cruz.

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How to write a financial need statement for your scholarship application (with examples!)

So you’re applying for a scholarship that asks you about your financial need. What do you say? How honest or specific should you be? What is TMI? In this article, we break down how to pen an awesome financial need scholarship essay or statement.

What to include in a financial need scholarship essay

Template to structure your financial need scholarship essay, introduction: your basic profile, body: your financial situation and hardships, conclusion: how you would benefit from this scholarship, was this financial need essay for a college financial aid application , now, reuse that same essay to apply for more scholarships, additional resources to help you write your financial need scholarship essay.

Many scholarships and college financial aid awards are “need-based,” given to students whose financial situation requires additional support. That’s why one of the most common college scholarship essays is a statement of financial need. This might be very explicit (“Explain your financial need”), somewhat explicit (“Describe your financial situation”), or quite open-ended (“Explain why you need this scholarship”).

In all cases, scholarship providers want to get a sense of your family’s financial picture: what your family income is, if you personally contribute to it (do you have a job?), and how much additional money you need to attend your target college (your “financial gap”).

If the essay prompt is a bit more open-ended (“Explain how this scholarship would help you”), your essay should probably be a combination of a financial need statement and a career goals / academic goals essay.  That’s because you want to show how the award will help you financially and in your academic or career goals.

Usually this statement of financial need is a pretty short scholarship essay (150-300 words), so unlike a college essay or personal statement where you have ample word count to tell anecdotes, you’ll likely need to get right to the point. 

Be sure to include: 

• If you are an underrepresented group at college, for instance, part of an ethnic minority or the first in your family to go to college
• Any relevant family circumstances, like if your parents are immigrants or refugees, as well as your parents’ occupation and how many children/family members they support financially
• How you are currently paying for college, including what you personally are doing to contribute financially (like working student jobs)
• What financial challenges/difficulties your family is facing, for instance, if a parent recently lost their job
• How you would benefit from the scholarship–including your academic and career goals (if word count allows)

Also remember to write in an optimistic tone. Writing about your financial situation or hardships might not be the most positive thing to share. But you can turn it around with an optimistic tone by writing about how these challenges have taught you resiliency and grit.

Give a short introduction to who you are, highlighting any family characteristics that might make you part of an underrepresented group at college. 

“I am a first-generation American and the first in my family to go to college. My family moved from El Salvador to New York when I was seven years old, to escape the violence there.”

Example 2: 

“I am from a working-class family in Minnesota. My family never had a lot, but we pooled our efforts together to make ends meet. My parents both worked full-time (my father as a mechanic, my mother as a receptionist at the local gym), while my siblings and I all worked weekend jobs to contribute to the family income.”

Dive into the details. How are you currently planning to pay for college? The idea here is to show that you and your family have made a good-faith effort to earn enough money to pay your tuition, but that it has simply not been enough. 

Make sure you describe your parents’ occupation, any savings (like a 529 College Savings Account), and any student jobs. You might also discuss any sudden changes in fortune (e.g. parent fell ill or lost their job) that have ruined your original financial plans. 

Example 

As immigrants with limited English, my parents have had to accept low-paying jobs. My father is an Uber driver, and my mother is a housekeeper. They earn just enough to pay our rent and put food on the table, so I’ve always known they could not help me pay for college.  So I’ve been proactive about earning and saving my own money. Since age 11, I’ve worked odd jobs (like mowing my neighbors’ lawns). At age 16, I started working at the mall after school and on weekends. Through all these jobs, I’ve saved about $3000. But even with my financial aid grants, I need to pay $8000 more per year to go to college. 

Bring it home by wrapping up your story.  Explain how you plan to use the financial aid if you’re awarded this scholarship. How will you benefit from this award? What will you put the money toward, and how will it help you achieve your academic and/or career goals?

Scholarship review boards want to know that their money will be put to good use, supporting a student who has clear plans for the future, and the motivation and determination to make those plans a reality. This is like a shortened, one-paragraph version of the “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” essay . 

Winning $5000 would help me close the financial gap and take less in student loans. This is particularly important for me because I plan to study social work and eventually work in a role to support my community. However, since these jobs are not well paid, repaying significant student loans would be difficult. Your scholarship would allow me to continue down this path, to eventually support my community, without incurring debt I can’t afford.

My plan is to study human biology at UC San Diego, where I have been admitted, and eventually pursue a career as a Nurse-Practitioner. I know that being pre-med will be a real academic challenge, and this scholarship would help me focus on those tough classes, rather than worrying about how to pay for them. The $2000 award would be equivalent to about 150 hours of working at a student job. That’s 150 hours I can instead focus on studying, graduating, and achieving my goals. 

Sometimes this financial need statement isn’t for an external scholarship. Instead, it’s for your college financial aid office.

In that case, you’re usually writing this statement for one of two reasons:

• You’re writing an appeal letter , to request additional financial aid, after your original financial aid offer wasn’t enough. In this case, you’ll want to make sure you’re being extra specific about your finances.
• You’re applying for a specific endowed scholarship that considers financial need. In this case, your financial need essay can be quite similar to what we’ve outlined above.

Now that you’ve written a killer financial need scholarship essay, you have one of the most common scholarship essays ready on hand, to submit to other scholarships too.

You can sign up for a free Going Merry account today to get a personalized list of hundreds of scholarships matched to your profile. You can even save essays (like this one!) to reuse in more than one application.  

You might also be interested in these other blog posts related to essay writing:

• What’s the right scholarship essay format and structure?
• How to write a winning scholarship essay about your academic goals
• How to write an awesome essay about your career goals
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How to Write a Statement of Financial Need

Gabriel Jimenez-Ekman is a content editor and writer at Scholarships360. He has managed communications and written content for a diverse array of organizations, including a farmer’s market, a concert venue, a student farm, an environmental NGO, and a PR agency. Gabriel graduated from Kenyon College with a degree in sociology.

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Prior to coming to Scholarships360 for her first internship in 2022, Savannah utilized her campus publications by joining various fashion publications that are offered at Ohio University. One of those publications is Thread Magazine, where Savannah has had the opportunity to work on articles related to world-wide related fashion news and events, as well as articles closer to home, such as a fashion piece on Athens hometown-hero Joe Burrow. This year, Savannah also had the opportunity to be a content writing intern for Aiken House, as well as a section editor for Southeast Ohio Magazine. In 2023, Savannah served as the Chapter President of her sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta. These collective experiences, as well as her experience currently working for Ohio University’s Undergraduate Admissions, has led her to Scholarships360 and aided in her passion for helping students better understand the college admissions process and financial aid. In her free time, Savannah enjoys horseback riding, watching Formula One races, traveling, and spending time with her friends and family. Savannah will graduate from Ohio University in May 2024 with a degree in Journalism News and Information and a certificate in Italian Studies.

Caitlyn Cole is a college access professional with a decade of experience in non-profit program and project management for college readiness and access organizations.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

Many students want to know how to write a statement of financial need since it is a challenge. Deciding what is appropriate to include or omit can make all the difference, so it’s also especially important that you use your words economically and effectively.

What is a Statement of Financial Need?

College is an investment, but for many students financial aid may not be enough to cover the cost. Because of this, students may find themselves needing to write a statement of financial need, which is a brief statement explaining your financial situation. Generally, the statement of financial need will go beyond what is captured by the FAFSA or CSS profile.

In this article, we will provide a step-by-step guide to show you how to write a statement of financial need.

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How we organized this article.

We’ll start with a “Do’s and Don’ts” list. This list will answer questions you may have about which details to include in your statement. Once you’ve got an idea of what should be included, we’ll show you a general template for writing these statements, including some examples. This will help you illustrate your points thoroughly while staying under the word limit. We also included some relevant FAQs just in case you had a few more questions. 

Related: Top need based scholarships

What to include in your statement

• A quick rundown of your family’s employment situation. This includes who in the family is working, what type of job they hold, and if you are working to help support your education or to help support your family
• Whether you are a first-generation college student
• If you or your parents are immigrants or refugees
• Whether you or your parents speak English as a second language, or do not speak English at all
• If you were raised by a single parent, or in a foster home
• Any extenuating circumstances that could be affecting your family’s finances, such as medical issues or job loss. Any recent shortfall in your family’s financial situation is worth mentioning
• If you are a member of any minority group (for many colleges, recruiting underrepresented students is an institutional priority as they seek to create a diverse community).
• Opportunities that you would be able to accept if the scholarship helped meet your financial need. An example would be if you are pursuing an unpaid or low-paying internship over the summer, but needed to earn money to help pay for next semester’s tuition

What to avoid in your statement

• Try to avoid a negative or dramatic tone. Even if your financial situation is stressful, try not to communicate that stress in your statement. It’s best to let the facts speak for themselves
• Avoid comparing your situation with the situations of others. Remember, this essay is about you, and why someone in your situation could benefit from the scholarship
• Avoid focusing too much on tangential details. Try to only include the details that are immediately relevant to your ability to further your education. For example, if your family has experienced a financial shortfall because your father lost his job, you don’t need to go into details of your father’s business or his chance of being re-hired. You need only to mention that it has led to your family receiving less than their projected income for the year, and that this impacts your ability to pay for college

Related: What’s the best scholarship essay format?

Now that you know what to include in your essay, you’re ready to start writing your statement of financial need. This can be done by following a step-by-step process:

Create an outline

Write your introduction.

• Format your essay with body paragraphs

Finish with a strong conclusion

Let’s get started with the first step…

To get started with your outline, try writing out a bullet-point list of the details you’d like to include in your essay. Include all of the details that emphasize your financial need. This includes demographic information, your parents’ employment, and any extenuating circumstances your family is experiencing. Once you have that list, use it as a guide to help format the statement of financial need.

See also: How to write a 250 word essay

In your first sentence, introduce yourself by touching on some key demographic points about yourself. For example, you could write:

“As a first-generation college student who was raised by a single parent, I have worked as a cashier throughout high school to help pay the bills.”

These are all points that do not require too much elaboration. They can be brought up together in the first sentence to give the reader an idea of what they will be reading. Use the rest of the introduction to quickly lay out the discussion points, saving the detail for later.

Related: How to start a scholarship essay

Formatting your essay with body paragraphs

Body paragraphs are your opportunity to dive into the relevant details. Elaborate on the points that you mentioned in the introduction to give a more vivid picture of why you are having trouble paying for your education. These include extenuating circumstances, parents’ employment status, and your employment status.

In addition, you can use these paragraphs to help illustrate your sense of financial responsibility. If you have a college savings account or have taken initiatives to help yourself secure the funds for college, mention them here. Emphasize that there is still a gap between what you are expected to pay and what you are able to pay.

Also see: How to write a financial aid appeal letter

Now is the time to discuss how the increased funding would create opportunities for you. You can mention the internship that you would take if you didn’t have to work all summer to pay your tuition, or describe how one of your other financial hardships would be lightened by receiving this scholarship.

The conclusion is where you make the scholarship committee realize what they could do for you by granting you the scholarship; once you’ve established your need, use the conclusion to illustrate how important this opportunity is to you. We hope that you now know how to write a statement of financial need. Best of luck!

Submitting your statement of financial need is not a guarantee of more aid

We should also mention that submitting your statement of financial need is no guarantee that you will receive more financial aid. While students can be hopeful that they will receive an adjusted aid package, they should be prepared for their situation not changing. 

In this case, students can turn to options like scholarships , student loans , or choosing a more affordable college option. 

See also: What to do if financial aid is not enough?

Key Takeaways

• A Statement of Financial Need can be beneficial for students who know they may not be able to afford college
• Always try to be positive when writing your Statement of Financial Need
• Structure your statement in an easy to read, concise way

Frequently asked questions about how to write a statement of financial need

How is financial need determined, what is proof of need, what documents can be used in a statement of financial need, how long should a statement of financial need be, scholarships360 recommended.

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How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement: 4 Steps + Examples

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What is the purpose of a thesis statement, writing a good thesis statement: 4 steps, common pitfalls to avoid, where to get your essay edited for free.

When you set out to write an essay, there has to be some kind of point to it, right? Otherwise, your essay would just be a big jumble of word salad that makes absolutely no sense. An essay needs a central point that ties into everything else. That main point is called a thesis statement, and it’s the core of any essay or research paper.

You may hear about Master degree candidates writing a thesis, and that is an entire paper–not to be confused with the thesis statement, which is typically one sentence that contains your paper’s focus. 

Read on to learn more about thesis statements and how to write them. We’ve also included some solid examples for you to reference.

Typically the last sentence of your introductory paragraph, the thesis statement serves as the roadmap for your essay. When your reader gets to the thesis statement, they should have a clear outline of your main point, as well as the information you’ll be presenting in order to either prove or support your point. 

The thesis statement should not be confused for a topic sentence , which is the first sentence of every paragraph in your essay. If you need help writing topic sentences, numerous resources are available. Topic sentences should go along with your thesis statement, though.

Since the thesis statement is the most important sentence of your entire essay or paper, it’s imperative that you get this part right. Otherwise, your paper will not have a good flow and will seem disjointed. That’s why it’s vital not to rush through developing one. It’s a methodical process with steps that you need to follow in order to create the best thesis statement possible.

Step 1: Decide what kind of paper you’re writing

When you’re assigned an essay, there are several different types you may get. Argumentative essays are designed to get the reader to agree with you on a topic. Informative or expository essays present information to the reader. Analytical essays offer up a point and then expand on it by analyzing relevant information. Thesis statements can look and sound different based on the type of paper you’re writing. For example:

• Argumentative: The United States needs a viable third political party to decrease bipartisanship, increase options, and help reduce corruption in government.
• Informative: The Libertarian party has thrown off elections before by gaining enough support in states to get on the ballot and by taking away crucial votes from candidates.
• Analytical: An analysis of past presidential elections shows that while third party votes may have been the minority, they did affect the outcome of the elections in 2020, 2016, and beyond.

Step 2: Figure out what point you want to make

Once you know what type of paper you’re writing, you then need to figure out the point you want to make with your thesis statement, and subsequently, your paper. In other words, you need to decide to answer a question about something, such as:

• What impact did reality TV have on American society?
• How has the musical Hamilton affected perception of American history?
• Why do I want to major in [chosen major here]?

If you have an argumentative essay, then you will be writing about an opinion. To make it easier, you may want to choose an opinion that you feel passionate about so that you’re writing about something that interests you. For example, if you have an interest in preserving the environment, you may want to choose a topic that relates to that. 

If you’re writing your college essay and they ask why you want to attend that school, you may want to have a main point and back it up with information, something along the lines of:

“Attending Harvard University would benefit me both academically and professionally, as it would give me a strong knowledge base upon which to build my career, develop my network, and hopefully give me an advantage in my chosen field.”

Step 3: Determine what information you’ll use to back up your point

Once you have the point you want to make, you need to figure out how you plan to back it up throughout the rest of your essay. Without this information, it will be hard to either prove or argue the main point of your thesis statement. If you decide to write about the Hamilton example, you may decide to address any falsehoods that the writer put into the musical, such as:

“The musical Hamilton, while accurate in many ways, leaves out key parts of American history, presents a nationalist view of founding fathers, and downplays the racism of the times.”

Once you’ve written your initial working thesis statement, you’ll then need to get information to back that up. For example, the musical completely leaves out Benjamin Franklin, portrays the founding fathers in a nationalist way that is too complimentary, and shows Hamilton as a staunch abolitionist despite the fact that his family likely did own slaves. 

Step 4: Revise and refine your thesis statement before you start writing

Read through your thesis statement several times before you begin to compose your full essay. You need to make sure the statement is ironclad, since it is the foundation of the entire paper. Edit it or have a peer review it for you to make sure everything makes sense and that you feel like you can truly write a paper on the topic. Once you’ve done that, you can then begin writing your paper.

When writing a thesis statement, there are some common pitfalls you should avoid so that your paper can be as solid as possible. Make sure you always edit the thesis statement before you do anything else. You also want to ensure that the thesis statement is clear and concise. Don’t make your reader hunt for your point. Finally, put your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph and have your introduction flow toward that statement. Your reader will expect to find your statement in its traditional spot.

If you’re having trouble getting started, or need some guidance on your essay, there are tools available that can help you. CollegeVine offers a free peer essay review tool where one of your peers can read through your essay and provide you with valuable feedback. Getting essay feedback from a peer can help you wow your instructor or college admissions officer with an impactful essay that effectively illustrates your point.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Financial Need Essay: Examples & Writing Guide

Unfortunately, not everyone striving for education can afford it. Some courses are so expensive that even well-to-do citizens need financial assistance. They can write a scholarship application letter or refuse the undertaking. In such a case, students are supposed to submit a financial need essay.

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Funding authorities cannot assist each student. That is why you need to assure them in your statement of financial need that you deserve the scholarship more than anyone else. This article by Custom-Writing experts provides you with a clear structure. Besides, you will see an accurate statement of financial need essay sample.

• ✅ What to Include
• 🚫 Mistakes to Avoid
• 👀 Essay Sample

🔗 References

✅ statement of financial need: what to include.

This type of writing is a statement of a student’s life circumstances . But there is a limited number of aspects that you need to include. Otherwise, the committee will reject your request for financial aid as it will not look persuasive enough. Follow the next five steps to write a scholarship-winning essay. If you will still be unsure of how to write this kind of paper, explore the example in the next section.

• Introduce yourself. Your readers learn about you for the first time. It is polite to tell them who you are . Stress that you are the first person in your family who will attend a college. If you pertain to an ethnic group that may be underrepresented at the college, mention it.
• Explain how you’re now paying for college. Are you working to pay for your studies? Does this work take the time you could spend learning?
• Justify your financial need. Explain why you need assistance and the difficulties you meet in paying for your studies.
• Describe how you would benefit from the scholarship. Will you have to drop out if you are not given the scholarship? What will happen when you receive it? Explain that you will be able to study more if there is no need to work after classes.
• Make a closing statement . Do not beg and avoid being too emotional. Your essay should sound professional. Thank your readers for taking the time to consider your request.

Here, you can read about other secrets of scholarship essay writing .

🚫 Financial Need Essay: Mistakes to Avoid

There are several big mistakes that students can make in their scholarship essays.

👀 Statement of Financial Need: Essay Sample

We hope that this short, but comprehensive guide will get your essay going! Good luck and be sure to check out our blog for more writing tips.

Just in 1 hour! We will write you a plagiarism-free paper in hardly more than 1 hour

✏️ Financial Need Essay FAQ

There is no universal way to justify why you need money. Every situation is unique. Every person might have their life circumstances. Typically, students apply for scholarships because they can’t work full-time yet. Thus, they cannot afford the desired program.

Two key strategies to ask for scholarship money are those below.

1. Write an impressive motivation letter mentioning your tight budget,

2. Write an application letter describing your tough life circumstances (especially if you have incomplete family, etc.).

For additional details, check examples of such papers online and in books.

Applying for a scholarship implies proving why you deserve this assistance. Demonstrate your strong motivation, your real passion for learning, describe your educational background. If you want to be chosen for the program, take a look at examples and templates available online. You need to highlight your strengths and motivation .

It’s probably a bad idea to begin with the statement of financial need itself. Instead, demonstrate your strong motivation and even passion first. Briefly describe your background and highlight relevant educational and work experience. Acknowledge that financial assistance would help you to develop further.

• Writing a Winning College Scholarship Essay | The Princeton Review
• 5 Ways to Make Your Scholarship Essay Stand Out – U.S. News
• How to Write a Scholarship Essay – Maryville University Online
• How Aid Is Calculated | Federal Student Aid
• Definition of need | Student Financial Aid | University of Missouri
• How need is determined | Student Financial Aid (UWashington)
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Ha, fully posting! How to ask for money? Yeah, it is a great idea to write a financial need essay in a humorous manner.

Financial Aid and Scholarships

Important updates.

• The priority filing date for the 2024-25 FAFSA and CADAA has been extended to May 2, 2024 . Visit Apply for Financial Aid for details.
• The Department of Education has announced they will send information from the 2024-25 FAFSA to schools in mid-March. This may result in a delay in financial aid packaging and offers for the 2024-25 academic year. While awaiting your financial aid offer, we encourage you to utilize the UC Davis Financial Aid Estimator  to estimate your potential aid.

Writing a Personal Statement

Perhaps the most critical piece of many scholarship applications is the personal statement. It is often the chance for you to make the best case for why you should be given a scholarship. Personal statements allow the reader of your application to gain the strongest feel for who you are as a person, what sets you apart from other applicants, provide evidence of your intellectual and creative achievements, and show your writing ability.

Your personal statement should be treated as the equivalent of a face-to-face interview. A well-written statement adds clarity, richness, and meaning to the information collected in other parts of your application. It is also an opportunity to explain how factors outside of your school environment have enhanced or impeded your ability to maximize available academic and intellectual opportunities.

While there is no one correct way to write a personal statement, here are some tips that are universally applicable:

Start on your personal statement early.

Give yourself time to think about your topics, and carefully consider the rationale behind each question.

Be clear. Be focused. Be organized.

Make sure your personal statement follows a logical structure. Try to think about how it may sound to an audience who doesn’t know you. Getting input from people you trust—teachers, friends, relatives—can help you get different perspectives on how your personal statement affects those who are reading it. Avoiding long, drawn-out essay responses will not only help keep your reader’s attention but will also show that you were thoughtful about your writing.

Get personal.

The readers want to get a sense of who you are, and the only way to do this is to share a bit about who you are.  After all, it is called a Personal Statement. This is your chance to share with the reader what you feel they should know about you to make an informed decision.

Make it authentic.

A personal statement should showcase who you are and what you care about, not what you believe the readers want to hear. Remember that those reading your application will be reading many other applications as well and will be able to tell right away if what you are writing is honest and authentic. It is also worth keeping in mind that some programs require an interview for finalists where it will be easy to spot those who have not been genuine in their personal statements.

Be careful with humor and clichés.

What might seem funny or bitingly ironic to you might not seem that way to someone who doesn’t know you. Remember that the personal statement is an opportunity for you to give a complete picture of yourself. Don’t allow clichés to speak for you.

Be reflective.

A personal statement isn’t effective simply because it chronicles difficult circumstances. Strong personal statements should show that the writer has reflected upon and learned from their past experiences and achievements. Ideally, the writer will be able to show progression towards a clear perspective of how he or she sees the world, and what direction he or she is headed towards in the future. An effective personal statement gives a clear sense of your personal qualities and how you have used and developed them in response to your opportunities and challenges.

Use specific examples to illustrate your ideas.

Being too vague or writing too generally will not make your personal statement memorable. Thousands upon thousands of personal statements discuss initiative, but only hundreds show initiative using concrete examples of demonstrated motivation and leadership. But examples are only one part of the equation. You also need to show how you have assigned meaning to your experiences and how you have grown from them. Prove that you have a sense of who you are, where you are going, and how you are going to use your education and your experiences to accomplish your goals. Although some events have long-term or even lifetime ramifications, it is usually better to focus on recent events because they shed more light on who you are right now.

Finally, give yourself plenty of time for revisions.

Personal statements should go through several drafts before submission. Read your writing to others, and revise for clarity in content and in style. Pay attention to rules of correct grammar and punctuation, and don’t forget to spell-check. It is also recommended that you make use of campus resources (such as professor, teaching assistant, advisor, Academic Assistance and Tutoring Center, classmates, or friends) to gain valuable insight into how to improve your personal statement. If you are applying for prestigious scholarships, make sure to submit all personal statements to the Prestigious Scholarship Advisor for editing and guidance on re-writes.

We hope these tips will help you get organized and will inspire you. Your personal statement is the best tool you have to show us the individual gifts you have to offer.

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Thesis statements are central arguments in essays, and are usually written as one or two sentences (but can be longer depending on the context and discipline). A thesis focuses on the interpretation of facts to create an argument. A thesis is not a statement of fact, but a clear and convincing argument that takes a stand in a range of possible positions.  

Successful thesis statements usually:

State an opinion/position, which will be proved by evidence in the body of the essay, usually through the use of sources.

Are specific about the writer’s position, using details and specific terms.

Produce several responses, for example, agreement, neutrality, and disagreement. 

The WHAT/HOW/SO WHAT Strategy 

This strategy can help develop stronger thesis statements:

The WHAT: the topic you’re writing about . Can also reference larger academic conversations/make connections to the larger context you’re writing in.

The HOW: The methods and means by which you will be analyzing and discussing your topic. Or a general overview of how you will be guiding the reader through your text. 

The SO WHAT: Your analysis or interpretation of the topic. Why is this topic significant? What does your thesis statement mean in the surrounding academic conversation/the larger context you’re writing in? 

Sample thesis: 

In his 2018 poetry collection Elegía/Elegy,   [What]   Raquel Salas Rivera uses self translation and literary devices to create and break dichotomies within language and freedom    [how] . Breaking these dichotomies causes the reader to question how they have internalized colonial understandings of language purism   [so what] .  

This content was adapted by Marissa Burke from the Queen’s University online guide and tutorial for thesis statements, as well as the Carroll College Writing Center online resources for Writing a Good Thesis Statement

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2022 Theses Doctoral

Essays on the Consequences of Financial Aid for Higher Education

Velasco Rodriguez, Tatiana

Financial aid policies are widely used to foster access to higher education for low–income and underrepresented students. Prior research has documented the positive impacts of these programs on the outcomes of the students it intents to help (e.g., Mello, 2021; Londoño-Velez et al., 2020; Bleemer, 2021a; Black, Denning, & Rothstein, 2020). However, how the influx in the number of low–income and underrepresented students at selective institutions shape student outcomes is a somewhat overlooked aspect. Increasing the number of low–income and underrepresented students may come at the cost of reducing the overall academic performance of the group (Arcidiacono et al., 2015). Moreover, it could also lead to social segregation between wealthy and low–income and underrepresented students within the institution. This is an undesirable outcome, if we take into account the increasing evidence on the importance of social membership and networks for employment and overall social mobility (Marmaros & Sacerdote, 2002; S. D. Zimmerman, 2019; Michelman et al., 2021; Rivera, 2016).This dissertation starts by addressing two questions. First, what are the consequences of in- creasing the presence of low–income students at an elite college on students’ academic achieve- ment? And second, can this form of desegregation lead to more interactions between low–income and traditionally privileged students? To answers these questions, I focus on an Elite University in Colombia which experienced a large influx in its enrollment of low–income students, due to the implementation of a large financial aid program known as Ser Pilo Paga (SPP). The program induced plausibly random variation in the shares of low–income students within cohorts and across majors, which I use to examine how the changes in peers’ composition impacted the traditionally privileged students attending this elite institution. In the first chapter of this dissertation, I use administrative data from the Elite University and document how the influx in the share of low–income students led to significant achievement gaps between wealthy and low–income students. Then, I use a difference–in–difference research de- sign to examine the effect that this influx in low–income peers had on wealthy students academic performance and persistence. Overall, my results indicate the influx in low–income peers had no impact on the academic performance of the students traditionally attending this institution. Peer effects estimations suggest that the relatively low academic performance of low–income students had no impact on wealthy students. These findings complement those from Bleemer (2021a), who find college re–segregation has no impacts on the academic performance of White and Asian stu- dents. My results are also consistent with K–12 evidence showing desegregation policies have no impact on the students traditionally attending the desegregated schools (Angrist & Lang, 2004). In the second chapter, I examine whether the influx in the share of low–income peers at the Elite University led students to diversify their social interactions. I complement the administrative data and research design from the previous chapter with administrative records on students’ co– movements across campus captured by turnstiles located at all entrances. To validate the turnstile– elicited interactions, I use secondary survey data on social networks from a sub–sample of students at Elite University. The 9.5 percentage points average increase in the share of low–income peers at an entry cohort–major led wealthy students to double their connections with low–income peers. At least half of the increase in interactions between wealthy and low–income students, however, is explained by interactions of wealthy students with low–income but high–achieving students. These results suggest students diversify their interactions primarily among students with similar academic achievement levels. In the last chapter, I focus on a broader aspect of financial aid policies, and examine how student loans impact college and employment outcomes. In this chapter, my co–author and I are particularly interested in understanding the monetary returns to increasing investments in college education through student loans. To do so, we focus on a nation–wide student loan program in Colombia known as ACCES that covered 75 percent of the tuition cost for low–income students, and exploit rich administrative data to assess the impact of the loan. Importantly, the cost of tuition per semester is fixed for full–time students, regardless of the number of credits they take. The eligibility to the loan increased college enrollment by 9.6 percentage points, the number of semesters attained in 1.76 semesters, and college graduation in 15.4 percentage points. We also find evidence suggesting students with the loan had salaries 13 percent higher six years after high school graduation. To shed light on how student loans can lead to better salaries, we estimate the returns to additional college investments as captured by the marginal increase in college semesters found among loan recipients. We estimate a return to the additional college semester of 3.5 percent of the average daily salary. Sub–group analyses suggest much of the return to the additional semester of college is driven by college completion. This chapter contributes to the literature that has examined how relaxing credit constrains can have positive impacts on long–term outcomes by increasing human capital investments (e.g., Black, Denning, Dettling, et al., 2020; Cameron & Taber, 2004).

Geographic Areas

• Education and state
• School management and organization
• Education--Economic aspects
• Student aid--Education (Higher)
• Low-income college students
• Student loans

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From a high school essay to university term paper or even a PHD thesis

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Chris Kennedy and Isabelle Côté earn Dean of Graduate and Postdoctoral Studies Awards for Excellence!

We're thrilled to announce that both Chris Kennedy and Isabelle Côté have received 2022 Dean of Graduate and Postdoctoral Studies Award for Excellence, for graduate supervision. Highly deserved awards!

SFU professor,  Dr. Chris Kennedy,  joined SFU in 1991 and has coordinated  the Biological Science’s Master’s of Environmental Toxicology (MET)  since 2007, serving as the primary supervisor for the majority of master’s and doctoral students admitted to the program. Kennedy has a long history with SFU, having completed both his BSc in Biological Sciences and PhD in Environmental Toxicology here; he spent three years with the Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Science at University of Miami as a postdoctoral fellow and research associate before returning to SFU as a tenured professor.

" Dr. Kennedy has been very patient with the changes that have come with COVID and has demonstrated his ability to manage many students with different needs "

MASTER’S OF ENVIRONMENTAL TOXICOLOGY (MET) CANDIDATE HANNAH JONES

Biological Sciences  Professor,  Dr. Isabelle Côté  began her career at SFU in 2005. Since that time, in addition to training many graduate students, postdocs and honours students, even training some to become scientific divers, Côté has also served on more than 25 graduate student communities throughout BC, Oregon and even in Mexico.

" Most notably, in her time as chair, Isabelle quickly became known as being a safe and trusted authority figure to turn to for advice. Students frequently told me that they had never felt so supported by a faculty member before. Her empathy for graduate students is unrivalled and our department is simply a better place because of it "

PHD STUDENT, HANNAH WATKINS

Read more on SFU Graduate Studies for 2022 & 2023 recipients. The  2024 Dean of Graduate Studies Awards for Excellence  are open for nominations. Deadline for nominations is May 17, 2024.

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A big bonus of such companies is that you don't have to pay money when ordering. You first receive a ready-made version of the essay, check it for errors, plagiarism and the accuracy of the information, and only then transfer funds to a bank card. This allows users not to worry about the site not fulfilling the agreements.

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