Essay About Betrayal Of A Trusted Friend

Essay example on narrative about friend betrayal.

As a child growing up friends are everything. Your best friend is the one you share all your secrets with and trust them not to tell anyone. They are the one who knows everything about you and stands by your side through everything. For some, best friends may change frequently, but that wasn’t the case of Michelle and l. That was the type of friend Michelle was. We had been friends since the first grade and shared everything.

We never kept secrets from one another and more importantly, we never shared those secrets with anyone else. Well at least I didn’t. One fall I learned many important lessons in life.

The most important one was not to trust people. Sounds cynical I know, but I don’t know any other way to put it. I was 12 years old and trust had never been an issue for me, but that year brought on many changes.

On a beautiful Saturday afternoon my whole outlook on life changed. On a day that seemed like so many before, my brother-in-law raped me. Dealing with that was more than I knew how to handle. The betrayal of the one person I thought I could trust only added to the pain. A few weeks passed before I could even bring myself to tell Michelle. He had made me feel like it was my fault, that I had done something to deserve it.

my best friend betrayed me essay

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He has also convinced me that if my sister found out it would cause her to lose the baby she was carrying. At that time I really didn’t know any better so I believed him. Finally I realized I had to tell someone and of course Michelle was who I turned to. I explained what happened, how it made me feel, how it made me view things. Never in my life did I think she would tell anyone. Once again I was wrong, within three days it seemed the whole school knew. To make matters worse Michelle told people that it had been my fault. That it wasn’t rape at all, that I had agreed to it. Even worse she told them I was pregnant by him.

I couldn’t understand how she could do something like that to me. Here I was trying to cope with what had been done to me physically and she betrayed me in a way that I couldn’t even begin to understand. Granted, in time the talk moved on to something else as it always does in schools, and they all realized that I wasn’t pregnant. Still, the damage to me was already done. I learned the hard way the need to be careful who you trust. It is something that was remained with me to this day. After being betrayed by my best friend, it became nearly impossible to trust anyone. Betrayed by my best friend By eschewing 123

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Essay About Betrayal Of A Trusted Friend

F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W.

Betrayed by Your Best Friend? 6 Ways to Heal Your Heart

Psychology can help you explain and manage the pain of a friend's betrayal..

Posted January 14, 2018 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

Lightwavemedia/Shutterstock

Daphne was almost 40 when she came home to find her best friend, Jennifer, in bed with Daphne’s husband, Mike.* “I think it was the worst thing that had happened in my life,” she said. “I guess it was the double betrayal. Mike and Jennifer: Two people I completely trusted.”

Not every deception by a friend is as life-shattering as Daphne’s double whammy, but even the smallest can sting. Daphne is one of the women I spoke with as I gathered the information for my book I Know How You Feel: The Joy and Heartbreak of Friendship in Women’s Lives. Others told me of a number of different ways that friends had betrayed them — sharing something they had told them in confidence , talking about them behind their backs, and lying to them were just a few examples.

Madeleine*, a recent college grad, said that she felt betrayed by a friend who had started dating and suddenly wasn’t available to chat or spend time with her. “I know that’s not fair,” Madeleine said. “She’s involved in a new relationship, and it’s normal not to have as much time as she used to. But it’s happened a few times, and the problem is, when the relationship is over, she sort of thinks I should be available to spend the same amount of time we used to spend. It doesn’t matter if I’m dating, or if I’ve got plans with other friends. I’m supposed to be at her beck and call.”

The psychologist Jeanne Safer describes a friend who betrayed her by becoming more and more self-centered, unable or unwilling to even ask questions about Safer’s life or experience. She writes, “Lost friends are as haunting as lost lovers, and just as hard to replace.” Some of the women I spoke with would have changed her comment to “even harder to replace.” Numerous women described experiences similar to Safer’s, with friends who could not tolerate or support them through an illness, or a divorce , or the loss of a spouse or child.

But in some cases, what feels like a betrayal is really more a change in life situation. Like Madeleine, you may have experienced a sense of betrayal when a friend married, began to have children, and/or became intensely involved in her work. Interestingly, many of the women also told me they felt bad that they had become less available for their friends, but said that their closest friends understood. “We’re all in the same boat, more or less,” said one woman in her early 30s. “We get together when we can, we talk on the phone, but it’s a lot less than it used to be.”

Another woman told me that she felt she had been a bad friend because she was so involved with her family and her career : “I felt like I left my friends behind. And I hurt some of them.”

Change and loss can feel like a betrayal, but it is not always meant that way. As we move through different life stages, it is not unusual that some of our friendships receive less attention . Further, being disillusioned by a friend is a normal and even expected part of a healthy developmental process.

Yet studies have found that we feel these changes are personal — that is, that they are specifically directed at us, which is what makes them sting so much. [ii] [iii] [iv] Julie Fitness, a psychologist who has studied and written about the impact of betrayal, puts it this way: “When those on whom we depend for love and support betray our trust, the feeling is like a stab at the heart that leaves us feeling unsafe, diminished, and alone.”

And this loss makes us more vulnerable physically as well as emotionally.

There are books galore about handling infidelity in a marriage . But what about when a friend is disloyal or unfaithful? What do you do when your best friend — or any friend — betrays you?

Here are some suggestions gleaned from the women I interviewed and from psychotherapists who write about these experiences:

1. Clarify the situation. Whether you are the betrayer or the betrayed, the damage can sometimes be temporary, with the disruptions folded into the fabric of a relationship without doing too much destruction. Sometimes, however, the fallout can be permanent and life-changing. In either case, how we interpret the rupture can add to or alleviate our pain.

What does that mean? Sometimes it means making sure that your interpretation is the same as your friend’s. For instance, Alice* felt abandoned by Deirdre*, her closest friend from childhood , who had stopped returning her phone calls. “I texted, emailed, and did everything I could short of going to her house and pounding on her door,” Alice said. “Eventually, I just decided that our friendship must be over. I was so hurt and angry and really kind of horrified.” But she felt worse when she discovered that Deirdre was in the throes of severe depression . “I finally did go over to her house and knocked until she let me in. She looked terrible. She wasn’t eating and hadn’t been out of the house for days,” Alice said. “I bundled her up and took her to the hospital. It wasn’t a betrayal. It was an illness.”

my best friend betrayed me essay

2. Accept and process your feelings. Once you have faced the painful truth of a betrayal and your own feelings about it, you can start to process the emotions — the good, the bad, and the ugly. After a betrayal, you will very likely have to manage a number of different emotions. Your feelings about what happened are not going to be static. Hurt may turn into anger or vice versa. Each phase will require different emotional and maybe even physical responses on your part. The key is to stay as honest with yourself as you can. And, when possible, to explain your thinking to the people who are important to you, although not necessarily to the person who hurt you.

3. Consider whether or not to process the feelings with the person who hurt you (or the person you hurt). Sometimes the person who betrayed you is around to help you process those feelings. In that case, it can be healing to talk about what happened. But sometimes she cannot join you in that work, or you may not want to open yourself up to the possibility of further injury, and that is okay too. The same is true when you have done the betraying. If your genuine apologies are not accepted, you may feel hurt and frustrated. In either case, you can still express your feelings, but maybe not to the friend. It is also perfectly okay if you want to act like things are fine, and you want your friend to do the same, although of course, this solution works best when it works best for both of you. Like Lillian on the show Bridesmaids , you might just want to say, “Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?”

4. Decide whether or not you can forgive your friend. Daphne felt that she could not forgive her friend Jennifer: “It wasn’t just her, of course. Mike was part of it. And so was I. I mean, I had known for a while that something wasn’t right with our marriage, but I was afraid to address it. But that doesn’t mean that it was my fault. And I’m just not ready to put it all behind me and be kissy-face with either of them.” Safer says that sometimes not forgiving can be both freeing and allow you to move on. It can also help you remember the things that you did love about your friend.

But sometimes forgiving is also freeing. Madeleine found that she missed her friend and decided to accept her for who she was: “We have a great time together. And I’m really fond of her. So, I just have to know that she’s going to put whatever boyfriend she’s with first; that’s just who she is.”

5. Recognize that there is no single right way to handle a betrayal. What is crucial, however, is to recognize and acknowledge, at least to yourself, what you are feeling. Once you have done that, it is easier to find ways to cope with the experience that works best for you. If you do not have a clear sense of what you want to do, you might try talking or even acting out a possible conversation with someone you trust. Take the conversation as far as you can, and then let yourself sit with your feelings about that scenario. Then imagine the opposite. What would happen if you said nothing? How would that look and feel to you? After you have imagined several different scenarios, you will probably have an idea of what you feel most comfortable doing — or not doing — about the situation.

6. Remember that it may not be what it seems. This can mean trying not to take the hurtful actions personally, even when it seems that you are the intended victim. Daphne finally came to realize that the double betrayal by her husband and her best friend was not her fault. Sure, there were things she could have done differently, and ways that she could have been both a better wife and a better friend. But as another friend pointed out to her, their behavior had much more to do with their inner demons than with her. It might seem to you that a friend intentionally hurt you when she was thinking about her own problems, not you. Of course, her lack of consideration of your needs could be hurtful in and of itself, and you do have to deal with that. But stepping back and looking at the bigger picture can help. And turning to other friends can also be an invaluable way to help the injury heal and help you move on.

“It was an awful time,” Daphne said. “I wanted to withdraw from the world.” Because she felt that her children needed extra attention from her during the separation and divorce, she focused all of her attention on them. As a working mother, that meant she had little time to spare for herself, and even less for her friends. “But my friends wouldn’t let me bury myself in my work or my kids,” she said. "They arranged activities!” They would organize a movie day for all of the kids and the moms and insist I come. And then afterward, a couple of them would take the kids for pizza, and the others would take me back to someone’s home for a glass of wine. They knew I wouldn’t come if they just asked me that, but it’s really exactly what I need. I’m so lucky to have friends like this!”

*Names and personal information changed to protect privacy

Copyright @ fdbarth, 2018.

F. Diane Barth, I Know How You Feel: The Joy and Heartbreak of Friendship in Women's Lives. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Feb. 6, 2018

Jeanne Safer, “Broken Bridge,” Psychology Today , March/April 2016, p.43.

Warren H. Jones, Danny S. Moore, Arianne Schratter, & Laura A. Negel, “Interpersonal Transgressions and Betrayals,” Behaving badly: Aversive behaviors in interpersonal relationships , Robin M. Kowalski, (Ed.). (Washington, DC, US: American Psychological Association, 2001): 233-256.

Julie Fitness, “Betrayal, Rejection, Revenge, and Forgiveness: An Interpersonal Script Approach. Interpersonal Rejection , M. Leary (Ed.). (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001):73-103 .

Mark R. Leary, Carrie Springer, Laura Negel, Emily Ansell, Kelly Evans, “The Causes, Phenomenology, and Consequences of Hurt Feelings,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 74 (1998): 1225-1237. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1225

F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W.

F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W. , is a psychotherapist, teacher, and author in private practice in New York City.

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7 Strategies You Can Do to Heal After a Friend Betrayal

Updated: Sep 25, 2022

Do you remember a time you experienced a friend betrayal? I’m sure you do. A friend is a person who cares and supports you. The last thing you might expect is feeling deceived by someone who is supposed to have your back. In this article, I discuss examples and reasons for a friend's betrayal. In addition, I review helpful strategies you can do to recover and heal after a friend betrays you.

A hand is facing upward to the sky needing healing from a friend's betrayal

Examples of a Friend Betrayal

As a therapist in Orange County , I have heard several examples of how individuals feel betrayed by their friends. It’s hard navigating the social world. Particularly, trying to figure out what is a good friend and how to be a good friend. Sometimes, people will share private information about their friend to someone else. Sometimes, others will talk negatively behind their friend's back.

A common friend betrayal is when a friend drops their close friend because of their new romantic relationship. The close friend goes from spending a lot of time with their friend to none at all. A person can feel like their friendship isn’t of any value anymore.

At times, a person can be overly self-centered. They might betray a friend by not reciprocating in the friendship. The friendship can feel one-sided where someone is left putting in all the effort.

Lastly, if a friend is going through a major life event such as a loss, mental health problem, or illness, they are going to be seeking out their close friend for support and comfort. It can be painful if that supposedly close friend is nowhere to be found when they desperately need them.

Why a Friend Betrays You

There could be many reasons or motivations why a friend betrays you. Some friendships aren’t healthy from the beginning. When listening to individuals talk about their social conflicts, I can’t help to think these friends weren’t good friends in the first place. A friend who does not treat their friendships with respect and kindness has a higher chance of betraying their friend’s trust.

Another motivation could be the friend is angry and is having a difficult time communicating that anger appropriately. The friend does not know how to resolve conflict so, they purposely hurt others to take out their frustration. This betrayal is more direct and purposeful.

Another explanation could be having difficulty juggling friendships and romantic relationships. People who have a fear of abandonment or lower self esteem have a difficult time seeing themselves outside the romantic relationship. The romantic relationship becomes all-encompassing and all consuming. Thus, the other friend is left high and dry.

The Effects of Being Betrayed by a Friend

I feel hurt..

It is incredibly hurtful when a friend betrays you. Most people feel broken trust and emotional pain. You love and care for the person who betrayed the friendship and that is painful.

I Feel Disappointed.

Your friend did not meet your expectations. Your friend has been there for you in the past however, not this time. You probably banked on the fact your friend would never have done this to you, but you were “proven wrong.”

I Feel Confused.

How can my friend do this? I thought everything was fine between me and my friend and now, it’s not. Some individuals turn inward and consistently ask themselves, “what did I do wrong?” Sometimes, a friend's betrayal might end a friendship all together. The person is left with no closure and incredibly confused.

I Feel Doubtful.

Being betrayed by a friend can leave you feeling doubtful of other friendships. You might not want to reach out to others for emotional support for fear of getting betrayed again. You might be telling yourself, “If this person betrayed my trust, then I am sure others can too .”

I Feel a Sense of Loss.

In extreme situations, a possible result of the betrayal is the end of the friendship. Your friendship meant a great deal to you. You invested a lot of time and energy into the friendship. You can feel a sense of grief and loss because the friendship is now over, or the friendship isn’t what it was anymore.

How to Recover from a Friend Betrayal

The first step in recovering after a friendship betrayal is to clarify any misunderstandings in the friendship. It could be your friend is going through psychological or emotional struggles which is clouding their judgement and insight. Talk with your friend and clear up any misinterpretations. If your friend is willing to listen attentively, respond with compassion, and reflect on their part in the situation; that can be a good sign of recovery.

When going through a friend's betrayal, it’s important to be aware of all your feelings. Take the time to sit with your feelings and recognize all your emotions. It is crucial to name those feelings by verbalizing to someone you trust, “I feel hurt by my friend who said negative things behind my back.” When we name those feelings, essentially, we are validating and acknowledging those feelings are important and significant to us!

How to Heal After a Friend Betrays You

1. reflect on the friendship.

Reflect on the possible red flags that went on in the friendship. “Has this friend had similar offenses in the past?” When you take time to think about the friendship, you might figure out maybe this friend wasn’t as much of a friend as you thought they were.

2. Assess on what qualities you want in a friendship

A betrayal in a friendship is a good opportunity to think about what qualities you wish in a friendship. As you go through stages in life, there might be certain qualities you are looking for in friendship. For example, in this season, you are struggling with loss and you notice yourself gravitating towards friends who are emotionally available for you. I suggest writing down qualities you want in your friendships right now.

3. Give your other friendships a chance

A lot of times, we get so wrapped up in the friendship that is causing conflict that we forget about the other wonderful relationships you have. After you figure out what qualities you want in your friendships, identify which current friendships have those qualities you are looking for. Put effort and time towards those friendships that meet your needs.

4. Surround yourself with love and support

Healing is a painful and slow process. It’s super beneficial to surround yourself with people who love and support you. For example, reach out to any family members or trusted loved ones that will offer you emotional support.

5. Do not partake in retaliation

Feeling betrayed by a friend can lead to feelings of anger. If you aren’t in control of your anger, sometimes you can lash out especially at people who have hurt you. Some examples could be gossiping, spreading emotionally harmful information, or betraying back. Hurting others because you are hurt disrupts the healing process. Retaliation only keeps you in the thick of the betrayal.

6. Forgive or not forgive?

You have two options accept the misunderstanding and apology from the friend or accept the friend doesn’t have the qualities you are looking for in a friendship. At that point, you can make the choice to forgive or not forgive. Moving forward and healing is ultimately coming to a state of forgiveness where you accept the result. If that means, giving your friend an opportunity to improve the friendship or putting effort into making other friendships more meaningful. The act of forgiveness is for you not for the friend who betrayed you.

7. Find professional help

Lastly, depending on the type of betrayal and the amount of emotional pain seeking professional help can be effective. Healing from a friend's betrayal encompasses a lot of emotional energy and big emotions. It can be incredibly helpful to have a professional who’s a third-party help guide you through that process.

Any type of betrayal is going to be hurtful especially coming from a friend. Being aware of the motivations and effects of the betrayal will help you begin the recovery process. Allow yourself to recognize and name all those valid emotions. Reflection is crucial in the healing process. Reflection gives you the opportunity to understand your needs, assess your friendships, and decide how you want to move forward.

my best friend betrayed me essay

Needing more help:

Sometimes the pain of a friendship betrayal can become problematic, or you might be experiencing more symptoms than warranted. Specifically, teens and young adults who are trying to figure out where they belong in the social world. During this time, it’s inevitable to come across friends who you might feel betrayed by. I help teens and young adults navigate through depression, anxiety, grief and loss, and life transitions in a safe and therapeutic space.

If you are in the state of California and looking for therapy services, please feel free to contact me to schedule a free consultation.

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15 Comments

I had a best friend that I cherished for almost 40 years. A butt dial caught her talking bad about me in a situation she knew the details of and still spoke ill of me. It broke my heart. Looking back I know that she was never the friend to me that I was to her, but I adored her anyway. Until this happened. It will take me a long time to heal but I know that even if we speak again things will never be the same. It is truly like mourning a death.

Reading these comments I’m questioning if my friend is deliberately leaving me feel isolated and betrayed whilst she “finds her better ability - whatever - to nourish and flourish. After almost 10 years of being my “sister” in a small country town I moved to … Despite the ups and downs i feel I’ve been “dropped” for not being “emotionally supportive” enough. I admit that I have been unable to be my own best friend whilst addressing childhood trauma and ive had to go through the last couple of years doing the work, not all of it pretty.

If some of the things I learnt were at play (Ive been addressing “abandonment” … “rejection sensitive dysphoria“), and she’s the friend…

Ashley, thanks for sharing your insights and strategies to help the healing process. I have read through it many times and reflected on the friendship and forgiveness the most, It helped tremendously, if I were in California I would schedule an appointment!

Kind regards,

I had a very good friend who I knew for 25 years. We went to school together, went on trips together, were even roommates for a while. I knew her whole family and she knew mine. She betrayed me and our friendship ended in a very sad way.

Since then I have very few close friends.

I am very cautious about making new friends. I am older now and it takes a lot of energy just to take care of myself. I have a few close friends I trust and can talk to openly about my feelings and my problems.

Recently a friend I have known for 35 years did something that I felt was indiscreet and hurtful. He ma…

Recently, my best friend betrayed me.......After a beautiful friendship of 6 years, I have come to known that she was betraying me from the starting of the friendship.....She was a two faced person.....She acted like my best friend infront of me but, behind me, she always gossiped and spread rumours about me.......After 6 years I have come to known that the person, whom I always thought of a part of my success was always jelous from inside of me........You know what, it hurts.......It hurts too much.......Right now, from my outside everyone is thinking that I am very happy but the inside of me is still burning by the flame of betrayal..........

my best friend betrayed me essay

What To Do When You Have Been Betrayed by a Friend

  • by Celes     |    
  • Filed in Relationships

Shattered glass

(Image: Jilbert Ebrahimi )

“How should we react when we find out that a friend betrayed us? How do I turn my anger into something positive instead but without being on the losing end? I was promised a great opportunity by a friend but found out that she secretly offered it to someone else later. Thank you Celes.” — Zenwell

Hey Zenwell, thanks for your question. :)

Questioning the Assumption

My first question is: Can you be absolutely sure that your friend deliberately “betrayed” you? Sometimes what we perceive may not be the truth. It may merely be our perception which would be based on a subjective belief system.

For example, a while back, a friend of mine thought that I betrayed him by backing out on something I had promised. However, in my mind, I never made the promise. It was a difference in perception that led to the misunderstanding. After several talks and effort to rebuild the friendship, we finally buried the hatchet and mended the rift between us.

For your friend, it is possible that she offered the opportunity to someone with valid reasons and has not had the chance to inform you yet (rather than “secretly” offering it to someone else). It is possible that the opportunity was offered to someone else due to circumstances outside of her control and she has not informed you yet because she feels guilty about it. It is also well possible that she never “promised” you that opportunity and was simply talking about it as a hypothetical discussion.

These are possibilities you can consider in giving her the benefit of the doubt. Without knowing your friend and what was exchanged between both of you, I can’t pass a verdict on whether she did betray you or not.

Assuming She Did Betray You

However, let’s say that she has indeed done you wrong by deliberately, secretly, offering this opportunity to someone when she has already promised it to you.

My questions to you are: How important is this friend to you? Is this a friendship you treasure? Can you do without this person in your life, or is she someone who means a lot to you and whom you want to keep by your side? Does she mean enough for you to look beyond this betrayal?

Or is this a hi-bye acquaintance-like friendship, where her presence or non-presence in your life wouldn’t mean anything at all?

Option A: Working Out the Issue with Her

If this is an important friendship to you, then you should work this out with her. Find a good time and place to air your unhappiness. Do this objectively—don’t make it an issue about her , but rather, your grievances about  her actions  and their impact on your feelings. This will focus the discussion on the problem at hand rather than turn it into a personal attack. The article on  How to Give Constructive Criticism in 6 Steps  would help.

Don’t fume in silence, because that’s never a good way to resolve issues. Issues can’t get resolved if they aren’t aired. And if you want to build a meaningful friendship with someone, anyone at all, you need to be transparent in your feelings, be it good or bad. That’s how strong, authentic connections are made.

Besides, by not talking about the problem, you are not being fair to her at all. It’s well possible that she’s not aware of her “betrayal”, just like in my situation with my friend. (I only knew his unhappiness after getting him to open up, because I could feel that something was amiss.) And if your friend isn’t aware that she has made you unhappy, there’s no way she can even redress the problem. There’s no way she can make things right at all. She would be forever tainted in your eyes and there’s nothing she can do to fix that. What kind of a friendship would this be, if not a superficial one?

Option B: Letting Her Go

On the other hand, if this isn’t an important friend at all to you (plus you are absolutely sure that she deliberately betrayed you), then let her go. There are way too many people in this world to bog yourself down over an incompatible connection.

I’ve written before about how I let go of an incompatible friend after being best friends for 10 years:  Why I Parted Ways With My Best Friend of 10 Years . While it was not an ideal scenario (the ideal scenario would be us continuing to be best friends and supporting each other in a way that is aligned with our values), the episode helped me to learn a lot about friendships, why it’s important to have friends who are compatible with your being, and how sometimes letting go is the best way to move forward.

Let Go of Your Anger

Whatever the option you take, don’t hold on to the anger, because when you hold on to anger, the person you hurt the most isn’t the other person, but yourself. That’s the worse way anyone can live life, and I don’t want that to happen to you.

Read my series on how to deal with anger, starting with:  My History With Anger and How I Let Go of It, Part 1: Growing Up in a Household of Anger

What I want for you is to live a life filled with happiness and no regrets. At the end of the day, betrayal is only a mental notion. While it’s never a good feeling to be betrayed, we can only let betrayals affect us if we let them affect us.

Create Your Opportunities

Whatever opportunity it is that you have lost, find ways to get that same opportunity then, if not better. While that door may be closed, there are other doors open and waiting for you to find them. The longer you stay hung up over that closed door, the more you are going to miss out on those bigger and better opportunities out there. Wouldn’t that be the truest waste of all?

Good luck Zenwell, and I wish you all the best in your talk with your friend (assuming you pick that path) and in your life. :D

Here’s a related article:  Backstabber Guide: 8 Tips To Deal With Backstabbers

Hi, I’m Celes. Thanks for reading. Personal Excellence is where I write about how to live our best life as we tackle life’s challenges.  About Me »

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Self , Heartbreak

18 Of The Most Brutal, Real Stories About Being Betrayed By A Friend

These "friends" are the worst..

By SheSaid — Written on Apr 03, 2019

Friendship Stories About Being Betrayed By A Friend

By Team SheSaid

We don’t get to choose our families, but we do get to choose who we’re friends with. Which is why a friendship betrayal hurts so much. 

Those chosen, special few typically earn a position in our lives thanks to their ability to always have our back, even when we’re not necessarily being the best version of ourselves. 

It’s a good friend’s very ability to overlook our flaws and support us through tough times whilst also being our biggest cheerleader in our happiest moments that really cements their place in our hearts.

RELATED:  The One Thing You Should Do If You Were Ghosted By Your Best Friend

Unfortunately though, not all the friends we make throughout the course of our lives have our best intentions at heart.

In fact, some so-called ‘friends’ go to horrifying lengths to cut us down to size and sabotage our lives in the most soul-destroying of ways.

Something these unfortunate Reddit commenters who’ve come face-to-face with some of the ultimate friendship betrayals, know all too well…

1. The other woman

“She started having an affair with my then husband and then lied about it. When my marriage was falling apart, I confided in her. She turned around and told him everything I had said. I’m glad to be rid of them both.”

“[My] roommate broke our lease and gave me a one-week notice to move out because she ‘didn’t like having a dog.’ Next week on Snapchat her and her new roommates got a dog.”

3. Backstabber

“In sixth grade my best friend came up to me and literally stabbed me in the back with a pencil.”

4. Bye, Felicia

“My friend stole $50,000 from a business we started together and took off to Costa Rica.”

5. The mean girl

“They day of my birthday my “best friend” went to a party of a girl she didn’t even know because it was full of girls, I went to a restaurant alone because I didn’t want my father to worry.”

6. Absolutely heartbreaking betrayal

“I raised 11k for a friend who had two types of breast cancer, I raised this money in 4 hours, handed it all over to her and then she went round telling everyone I stole 5k from her. I still get hate mail now.”

7. Straight up disgusting

“I had one friend hook me up with a guy (I lived in a different state and I was visiting her area for a while) she knew. Turns out the reason why she set me up with him is because he was known for having STI’s and she wanted me to get chlamydia, since she couldn’t have kids and I was fertile but childfree.”

8. Breaking every friend code

“I had a “friend” who I thought was pretty awesome. Right up until she developed a habit of getting super drunk and then sleeping with whoever I was dating at the time. And, yes, I say “habit” because it happened more than once, although I can’t say we stayed friends after the first two.”

RELATED:  5 Ways To Tell If The People You Surround Yourself With Are Toxic

9. Going through medical scares can show you who your true friends really are

“My doctors thought I had a tumor and I was undergoing tests and said “friend” said that they were tired of me always being sick. The irony was that I kept the whole situation very private, only this friend knew about it, as did two doctor friends of mine. Needless to say I’m not friends with this person anymore.”

10. So cray cray

“I had a friend who broke into my house, slashed my couch and stabbed me with a fork. She was convinced that I was sleeping with her boyfriend. He was one of my good high school friends, I had introduced them.”

11. Ugh, seriously?!

“I let my “best friend” stay with me while I was house sitting for my grandmother one summer so she could save up money and get a real apartment. The first weekend she arrived I had a short camping trip planned so I left her there alone for two days. When I returned I found out that she and another “friend” of mine invited two shady guys over (one was a drug dealer and the other brought a camera to film). They proceeded to trash the house and then had sex with them in my grandmother's bed leaving a condom on the floor for me to clean. One of the guys stole my $400 iPod.”

12. She won't be winning any BFF Of The Year awards anytime soon

“My “best friend” slept with my boyfriend, the guy I lost my virginity to not even a week earlier, while I was out of town for a funeral.”

13. Real friends don't back out when life gets serious

“She comes on holidays with my family, joined at the hip etc etc. My mother dies suddenly, she doesn’t come see me, leaves the funeral early and a week later texts me calling me bad names because she didn’t get invited to some imaginary party she thought I was having.”

RELATED:  3 Signs Your Insecure Friend Is Sabotaging

14. Do people know what the word "friend" even means anymore?

“A friend asked me to call out a guy. I did, and she defended him.”

15. A true friend always honors her girls' privacy

“When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, my sister had just lost her baby. To give her time to heal, and so my family wouldn’t worry about me, I was going to wait until I was 12 weeks to tell my family. I told a few of my friends, and told them to keep quiet and why. One of them thought it wasn’t right to keep it from my family, so she told my parents behind my back.”

16. Some people just refuse to grow up

“I paid her rent for several months while she hopped from job to job, always quitting what jobs she got with some lame excuses. Then she only gave me a one week notice about her moving out of state. She had to leave a lot of her stuff here, and when she ran out of money out of state, started selling her stuff. She emailed me asking me ship out the items she’d sold on ebay. When I mentioned the burden of the shipping cost, even though she was collecting the shipping, she accused me of only being concerned with money.”

17. Hello, you're supposed to be my friend?

“My friend ignored all major life developments for me. Getting married, buying a house, having a baby. No congratulations or anything.”

18. It's time to agree that friend betrayals are the worst

“[I] helped her get a job where I work. She then cozies up to the boss. Gets me fired. “Hope we can still be friends?” I don’t even bother opening her emails anymore.”

RELATED:  6 Signs You're Being Emotionally Manipulated By A Toxic Person

SheSaid is a website dedicated to covering topics about women, their relationships, and their lives. For more content from SheSaid, visit their website .

This article was originally published at SheSaid . Reprinted with permission from the author.

More content from SheSaid:

  • Why I Broke Up With My Best Friend Of 12 Years
  • I Broke Up With One Of My Best Friends And I’ve Never Felt Better
  • 13 Ways To Know If Your Friends Are Actually Real Friends

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  • Making Up with Friends

12 Strategies for Moving On After a Friend’s Betrayal

Last Updated: November 2, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Nancy Lin, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA . Dr. Nancy Lin is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Owner of Go to Sleep San Diego, a private practice providing therapy for people suffering from insomnia, trauma, depression, and related problems. She is also trained in issues related to cultural diversity in mental health. Dr. Lin holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology from The University of California, Berkeley and a Masters degree in Medical Anthropology from the University of London, SOAS. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from The University of Massachusetts Boston and completed an APA-accredited internship and postdoctoral training at the VA San Diego Healthcare System (VASDHS). There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 382,073 times.

For many of us, friendship is one of the things that makes life meaningful, which is why it hurts so badly to be betrayed by a friend. It can be hard to make sense of a falling out with someone you trusted: why did they do it? Should you give them a second chance? How can you heal and move beyond what happened? You may be mulling over these questions and more right now, but believe us when we say that finding peace and moving forward is possible. We’ll walk you through how to get over a friend’s betrayal, below.

Things You Should Know

  • Take some space away from your friend to heal and collect your thoughts. Engage in hobbies and try talking to trusted loved ones about the situation.
  • If you decide to try to repair the relationship, let them know they did something that hurt you, and set strong boundaries for the future.
  • Whether you decide to stay friends or cut them off, try to forgive them—not for their sake, but for your own. It may make it easier to move forward and heal.

Take some time to yourself.

Get some distance from your friend and the situation.

  • Doing fun things without this friend may also help put the incident in perspective and remind you that you can still have fun without them. No matter what happens between you, you'll be OK. [1] X Research source

Go easy on yourself.

Avoid self-blame.

  • Everyone makes mistakes, and bad things happen to everyone. Blaming yourself for everything that has occurred or believing that bad things always happen to you may make it harder for you to move forward. [2] X Research source

Vent to someone you trust.

Talk to someone to get a fresh perspective.

  • Consider talking to another friend or a trusted family member, journaling about the situation, or maybe even speaking to a counselor about what you’re going through.

Reframe the situation.

Thinking about the incident from another angle may help you heal from it.

  • For instance, instead of thinking that it's all your fault that your friend betrayed you, try to practice self-compassion : maybe you made a mistake, or maybe you trusted the wrong person. You made the best decision that you could at the time, and if you could choose again, you would do it differently.

Get some physical activity.

Exercise can help you process difficult emotions.

  • If you play a sport, play with friends or kick a ball around. Boxing, kickboxing, and even yoga all can be helpful ways to get your stress out of your body.

Ask yourself if it was a misunderstanding.

Consider if they didn’t mean to betray you.

  • It’s not easy to do, but ask yourself if you could have made an assumption that led to a misunderstanding.
  • If you don’t have all the details, try to get a full picture by asking third parties who may know more about what happened for information.
  • Consider all the information, including your own. If your friend really has done something wrong, have they admitted wrongdoing? Not all guilty people confess, so consider all the evidence, and make a decision about what to do next if a betrayal has occurred. [6] X Research source
  • Consider how your friend feels : if they are just as upset as you are, it’s possible the betrayal was a misunderstanding or an accident on their part.

Avoid retaliating.

Getting revenge may be tempting, but it won't help you heal.

  • Seeking revenge may also make it harder for you and your friend to repair your relationship, if you think you may want to try to stay friends.

Reconsider your standards for friendship.

Think about what you look for and expect from your friends.

  • You may value specific traits, like trustworthiness, honesty, or kindness, as well as specific characteristics, like a sense of humor or a shared taste in music.
  • As you heal from and reflect on what happened with this particular friend, dedicate time to your other relationships. They may help you move forward and remind you you deserve friends you can rely on. [9] X Research source

Consider forgiving your friend.

Even if you don’t stay friends, forgiveness may help you heal.

  • If you forgive, you can let the incident go and move on, even if you and your friend don’t patch things up. Without forgiving, it’s easier to hold a grudge, and months or years later you might still be mad as if the incident just occurred.
  • Ideally, the friend who betrayed you should offer an apology. However, many times there is no apology, or there’s an insincere apology. So, you may have to work through the forgiveness stage on your own. [11] X Research source
  • Once you forgive, try not to think about it over and over and over again. One way to catch yourself and stop yourself from thinking about it is to wear a rubber band on your wrist. Snap the band every time that you think about it. [12] X Research source

Reassess your boundaries if you want to stay friends.

Let them know what you will and won't tolerate.

  • “Julia, I really value our friendship, but I was really hurt by what you said about me to everyone. If you have a problem with me, I wish you’d come to me instead of talking about me behind my back. I still want to be friends, but I just don’t want this to happen again.”
  • Repairing your friendship doesn't have to mean things go back to the way they were: if you feel like you can't trust them as much as you used to, you may decide to consider them an acquaintance instead of a friend.

End the friendship if you can't get past what happened.

Sometimes friendships aren't salvageable after a betrayal, and that's OK.

  • “Josh, it really hurt when you shared my secret with everyone, and I just don’t think we can move past it. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
  • “Paul, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I can’t get over the fact that you lied to me. I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Try to learn from what happened.

Think of the event as a life lesson.

Expert Q&A

Nancy Lin, PhD

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my best friend betrayed me essay

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Nancy Lin, PhD .

  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/buoyant-life/202209/6-ways-regain-trust-after-betrayal
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/201304/self-blame-the-ultimate-emotional-abuse
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201404/6-virtues-and-6-vices-venting
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201208/overcoming-betrayal-it-s-2-way-street
  • ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6718717/
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201401/trust-and-betrayal
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201309/revenge-will-you-feel-better
  • ↑ Nancy Lin, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 27 May 2021.
  • ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pragmatic-aspie/201110/betrayal-can-we-get-over-it
  • ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/surviving_betrayal

About This Article

Nancy Lin, PhD

Getting over a friend's betrayal can be really hard, but if you focus on yourself and give yourself time to heal, you can start to feel better. Take time to relax and do things you enjoy to distract yourself from the situation. You can also talk to a friend or family member you trust about it to get it off your chest. If you still want to be friends with the person, tell them how you feel once you’ve calmed down and give them a chance to apologize. Or, if you think you’re better without them, focus on your other friendships and let the wound heal over time. For more tips, including how to see your friend’s betrayal from their perspective, read on. Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Home — Application Essay — Business School — How My Best Friend Changed My Life

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How My Best Friend Changed My Life

  • University: North Carolina State University

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Published: Dec 27, 2022

Words: 627 | Pages: 1 | 4 min read

To truly understand who I am and how my best friend changed my life, I feel the need to share my story. Throughout my life, my mom has always said that my theme song should be 'Miss Independent' by Kelly Clarkson. I've always been someone who did things on my own. It's not that I didn't have any friends; I did. However, I found it much easier to take matters into my own hands. In middle school, my independence both defined and terrified me. I used to believe that because I was so independent, people didn't want to hang out with me. But I soon realized that wasn't true. My independence sometimes held me back from making more friends. Once I acknowledged this, I began to discover who I truly was. I realized that I had been changing myself depending on who I was with, until I met someone who genuinely brought out the best in me.

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Going into my freshman year of high school I had a solid group of friends. We did everything together, but around Christmas, I began to notice a change. My so-called friends were doing a lot of things without me, and eventually, my best friend turned everyone against me. Halfway through my first year of high school, I lost all of my friends. I never felt so lost and betrayed before. However, I am now so elated because I have some of the best friends in the entire world. They are all freshmen in college, but they treat me like family. When I was alone they took me in and made me feel wanted again. They helped to shape and show me who I am. I am quirky, shy yet outgoing, responsible, independent, caring, brutally honest, secluded, strong, impulsive, realistic, and much more, but I never would’ve realized this without my friends.

Now at this point you may have either decided that this is just like any other college essay, not what you were looking for, or you actually feel like you are starting to understand who I am. If you couldn’t tell my friends are one of the most important aspects of my life. I don’t have many super close friends, but that doesn’t bother me like it did before. I’m ridiculously self conscious, but before it was a lot worse. I had it set in my mind that because I wasn’t like everyone else I wasn’t normal. I was so hard on myself and it nearly destroyed me. My best friend, Erin, helped me get over this. She is my rock. Our friendship is just so effortless and easy. We know exactly what to do to help the other out, we know everything about the other, and at this point, we might as well be sisters. The prompt essentially stated, “write about something that you think your application would be incomplete without”. My application would be incomplete without Erin. She has been such a large part of my life. She has helped to shape me into the person I am today. She showed me that it’s okay that I am such an honest person. I used to hold my tongue when people said or did something that was morally wrong because I was afraid of the confrontation, but now I’m not as afraid.

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So you see for me it wasn’t necessarily a personality trait, specific event, or interest that had an impact on me, but people. Throughout my whole high school career Erin has been by my side, and now that she’s at college herself, it is only fitting that she be a part of my application.

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my best friend betrayed me essay

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If You Were Betrayed By A Friend, Here Is What You Should Do

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young woman angry at betrayal by her friend

Betrayal is never pretty.

The focus tends to be on betrayal in romantic relationships, but the reality is that a betrayal by a close friend can be just as upsetting.

If this has happened to you, it’s not necessarily going to be an easy thing to get over.

If you decide that your friendship has come to an end, it’ll take you a while to adjust to life without them in it.

But if you want to keep this friend in your life, you’ll need to face up to what’s happened and work through your feelings before you can start to repair the relationship and move forwards.

Here are the steps you should take either way.

What To Do When A Friend Betrays You

1. accept that being betrayed by a friend is deeply hurtful..

If you find that you’ve been betrayed by a friend, it’s completely normal to be devastated by it.

Some people try to fight these feelings, not understanding why a friend could have such power over them, and why a betrayal on the part of the friend can rock their world so.

That’s largely down to the fact that we tend to place far more value on romantic and even familial relationships in our society and often ignore the power of friendships.

But if we’re honest with ourselves about our feelings, we start to appreciate just how important friendship is to us, and what a big impact it can have on our lives when it goes wrong.

Our friends are the ones who are there for us when we need them and are a constant presence in our lives.

They’re the family we choose, and the people we confide our innermost fears and desires to.

Whereas we don’t get to pick our families, and romantic partners often come and go, good friends are there for the long haul.

They see us at our best, and our worst, and every step along the way. And they love us just the way we are.

So, it’s important to remember that it’s totally legitimate for a friend’s betrayal to have cut you so deeply.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, but accept the feelings, give them their due importance and be prepared to examine them and work through them.

2. If you can, have an honest conversation with your friend.

Your friend might have betrayed you to such an extent that you’re not willing to speak to them face to face (at least not for a long while). And that’s your prerogative.

But if you can bring yourself to speak to them, an honest conversation could be the salvation of your friendship, or could at least help you to move on, even if you choose not to remain friends with them going forwards.

You both need to be totally honest about things, without letting your ego get in the way.

Give them a chance to explain the situation from their point of view. Even if it doesn’t make things better between you, hearing their reasons for acting the way they did might help you to understand the things that have happened.

This might not be relevant in your case, but you may also need to consider whether you’ve had a role to play in what’s happened.

If you haven’t been the best friend to them in recent times, that might have contributed to their behavior. That’s not an excuse for their betrayal, but it’s something to bear in mind.

3. Figure out why you feel so betrayed.

What is it specifically about what your friend did that has hurt you so?

You need to take some time to yourself to reflect on why this is hurting you so badly. What elements of what they did bothered you the most?

Was it a concrete action that you felt was a betrayal, or was it them withholding the truth about something from you?

It might be fairly obvious, but the main reasons you’re so hurt by it might be more complex than they appear to be on the surface.

4. Ask whether the relationship is worth saving.

So, you’ve had an honest talk with them about what happened, and you’ve had a chance to analyze the way it’s made you feel.

It’s now time to look to the future and decide whether the friendship you had with them is salvageable and, if so, if it’s really worth your while putting the effort in to patching things up with them.

How important are they in your life? Would your life be poorer without them in it? Are you willing to put the necessary work in to rebuild the friendship?

Was this betrayal entirely out of the blue, and out of character? Or has this person never really be the kind of friend you deserve?

Don’t just focus on how they’ve betrayed you in the present, but think back.

If they’ve consistently been a good friend to you in the past, there for you when you need them, providing you with good advice, being loyal, and enriching your life, then one betrayal might not be enough to counteract all that.

Or it might be. It’s entirely your decision.

5. Ask whether they are sorry.

Of course, a large part of how you move forwards will depend on how your friend is dealing with the situation.

If they can’t understand your feelings of betrayal and haven’t apologized or done what they can to improve matters and make things up to you, that might be an indication that the friendship doesn’t have a future.

If, on the other hand, they’ve shown remorse and are doing their best to make things up to you, that might be a sign that your friendship could survive their betrayal.

6. Don’t rush into a decision.

When we’re angry, we all make decisions that we later regret, and you don’t want the loss of a good friend to be the result of an impetuous decision you made in the heat of the moment.

Give yourself time to calm down and mull over the situation before you make any decisions.

It might be best to avoid speaking to the friend in question until you’ve regained some kind of equilibrium, so that you don’t say anything you might want to take back later on.

After all, if you know someone well, you’ll probably know just how to hit them where it hurts.

Try to focus on the fact that it would be horrible to sacrifice a lifetime of friendship by saying something you don’t mean when the red mist comes down.

7. Say goodbye.

Some betrayals are things you can work past and come back from. But sometimes, a betrayal can spell the end of a friendship.

If you’ve decided that that’s the case with this friendship, it’s time to cut the cord.

It’s your decision if you’d like to have a formal break-up conversation with them, or not. But you wouldn’t just end a romantic relationship without letting the other person know that it’s over, so maybe you should apply the same logic here.

It won’t be an easy conversation to have, but you might want to speak to them, letting them know why you can’t find it within you to forgive them, and that you no longer want them to be a part of your life.

That’ll provide closure for you both and might stop them from trying to contact you if you don’t want them to, which can make it easier for you to move on.

8. Or, forgive them.

On the other hand, you might come to the realization that, despite the betrayal, this person is extremely important to you, and you’re willing to forgive them and work toward building the friendship up again.

In order for you to be able to be friends again, you need to forgive them for what they did. You don’t necessarily have to forget about it entirely, and you probably never will, but you do have to genuinely forgive them in your heart of hearts.

Any lingering resentment will only spell trouble further down the line.

9. Don’t expect miracles overnight.

If you’ve decided to try to rebuild a friendship, don’t expect the two of you to be back to normal within the blink of an eye. Your friendship has been through the mill and is going to need some significant time to recover.

You both need time to process what’s happened and figure out what this new stage of your friendship is going to look like as you move forward.

Be patient with one another, and whenever you find things tough, remember why you’ve chosen to keep this person as part of your life.

And remember, just as it won’t be quick, it won’t be easy. When you decide to try to patch things up, you need to be aware that it’s going to take work and determination.

10. Remember: a good friend is a treasure.

If you want to forgive your friend and move on, but you’re finding it tough, just remember that good friends don’t grow on trees, and friendship is worth fighting for.

Betrayal can spell the end of friendships, but with a commitment on both your parts and love and care for one another, the best of friends can overcome anything.

Why Did My Friend Betray Me?

It can be surprising when someone you care about betrays your trust. Why would they do that to you?

Here are some possible explanations:

1. They didn’t value the friendship as much as you did.

Were you in a one-sided friendship ?

If you cared more about your friendship than they did, it could explain what happened. And why.

If your friend didn’t value your friendship, they weren’t afraid of losing it either. So, backstabbing you was worth the risk to them.

Your friendship was less important to them than doing what they did to hurt you.

They prioritized their happiness over a friendship that they were fine with losing.

2. They wanted to end the friendship.

What if your friends did this to sabotage your friendship?

If they didn’t want to end the friendship directly, they could have been two-faced to make the friendship end on its own.

At best, they didn’t care if the friendship ended. But they may have betrayed you on purpose because they wanted things to end.

They were too afraid to face you and tell you this, so they caused you a trauma to make you leave on your own.

It’s one of the more brutal explanations for friend betrayal.

3. They made an impulsive mistake.

Let’s give your friend the benefit of the doubt. What if they didn’t mean to hurt you?

If what they did was an impulsive mistake, they will feel bad about it, apologize, and try to make up for it.

Sometimes people do things out of impulse that they regret later on.

If your friend regrets what they did, you might want to consider giving them a chance to regain your trust.

People make mistakes, and if your friend wasn’t thinking straight when they did what they did, they probably didn’t mean to cause you pain.

4. They were suffering from poor mental health.

People sometimes do bad things because they’re suffering from stress, depression, anxiety, or some other mental health issue.

How has your friend been feeling lately? Were they in a bad mood for a while now, and could some major stress in their life explain what happened?

If your friend is suffering from poor mental health, you should try to show some understanding. They probably regret what they did.

Maybe they can explain to you what made them feel like it was the right choice at that precise moment.

Of course, you may not want to let them off the hook if this is a repeated behavior. It is okay—healthy even—to let a friend go if their poor mental health is harming your well-being over a prolonged period of time.

5. They were mad at you.

People will want to hurt you when they are mad at you, even if they are your friends.

If you betrayed your friend first, they probably wanted to hurt you back.

But they could want to hurt you even if you did nothing to them.

They could be mad at you because of a disagreement you had and decide to punish you by breaking your trust.

Backstabbing can often be used as a form of revenge or punishment.

6. They are just self-centered.

Does your friend only think about themselves? Did they prioritize their needs like they always do?

If your friend is self-centered, they probably put their happiness, needs, or wants above a friendship with you.

Your friend only cares about themselves and may even be a narcissist. To be honest, this is a classic sign of a fake friend who doesn’t really care about you.

It could have been a situation where they had to choose between you and themselves, and they put themselves first like they always do.

7. They couldn’t control their emotions.

Emotions can cause people to do crazy things, and spiteful things as well.

Your friend may have betrayed you because they couldn’t control their emotions.

Maybe they were mad at you, in love with someone, or sad about something that happened.

They could have even been too drunk to control themselves or under the influence of drugs. If your friend would never betray you sober, they may have done it because of too many drinks.

8. They prioritized their romantic relationship.

Most people will prioritize a romantic relationship over a friendship.

If your friend betrayed you because they had to choose between their partner and you, they just prioritized their romantic relationship.

This may not feel right to you, but it’s a choice most people will make in that situation.

Although friendships can last longer than romantic relationships, people tend to prioritize the latter.

Examples Of Betrayal

In which way did your friend betray you? Here are the most common examples of betrayal in friendships:

You have every right to doubt your friend’s loyalty if they have been dishonest or deceitful.

Sometimes friends tell white little lies to protect your feelings, but even that could be considered a betrayal of your trust depending on the context.

For instance, a friend could lie to you that your zit is barely noticeable when it’s actually huge. That is certainly not the same as if they would lie about their feelings for you or their true intentions.

2. Gossiping.

Do your friends talk behind your back?

If they gossip about other people to you, you can bet that they gossip about you to others too.

They could even be spreading rumors, whether those rumors are true or made up.

If your friend is two-faced, you should reconsider your friendship.

But, bear in mind that gossip is not always the same as badmouthing you to others.

It’s not the same when your friend gossips about how much your new car costs and when they badmouth you by highlighting your negative qualities.

But they could also be spilling the beans about your personal life. Revealing your secrets is a huge break of trust.

3. Stealing.

Your friend could steal from you. They could steal your money, your personal belongings, your credit cards, or even your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It’s better to have enemies than bad friends like these, but it happens.

This is not the same as borrowing small things and never giving them back. Although that is a nasty habit too, it is not the same as deliberately stealing valuable things from you.

4. Keeping secrets.

Did your friend keep secrets from you?

If you needed to know something and they kept quiet about it, it is similar to lying to you.

Withholding information could be a form of being dishonest.

Your friend shouldn’t have to tell you everything that happens in their life, but they should tell you things that affect you, as well as the important information about them that could affect your friendship.

5. Being disrespectful.

An act of betrayal could be a sign that your friend doesn’t respect you .

If they disrespect your boundaries, they’re not a good friend to you.

They should respect your boundaries if you’ve clearly communicated what you will and won’t tolerate.

A friend might also act disrespectfully to you in public by putting you down or even humiliating you . You don’t need friends like that in your life.

Don’t tolerate it if your friend puts you down or humiliates you when you’re alone either. Friends tease and joke, but good friends never cross the line.

6. Breaking promises.

What if your friend constantly makes promises that they can’t keep?

They get your hopes up for nothing and leave you disappointed.

If they promised to do or not do something, they should stick to their word.

Sometimes, it can happen that a person can’t keep their promise for reasons that are out of their control. But frequently making and breaking promises is a whole other thing.

7. Using you.

Unfortunately, your friend could be using you , whether it’s for your money, time, attention, or something else.

When someone has a hidden agenda for being friends with you, they’re not really your friends.

Your friends should genuinely like you for who you are, and you should help each other and support each other.

But using someone is never mutual like that, and one person always gives more while the other just takes.

8. Cheating.

How can a friend cheat on you? Obviously, this is not the same as cheating in a romantic relationship.

But, betraying your loyalty is a form of cheating.

Whether your friends broke your trust by lying to you, revealing your secrets, or in any other way, they cheated.

Cheating could also mean that your friend befriends someone else and prioritizes them over you, even if you introduced them in the first place.

The Damaging Effects Of Friend Betrayal

What can a betrayal from a friend do to you and your mental health? Here are the most common effects of friend betrayal:

Naturally, this situation will cause you a lot of stress.

Why did they do it? What else did they do that you don’t know about yet?

Can you ever trust them again? Can you trust anyone again?

Questions like these could put you under a lot of stress. You could also have mood swings, from being stressed to feeling numb and back and forth.

2. Feeling hurt.

It hurts when someone you love betrays you.

Betrayal is a type of trauma that needs a lot of time to heal.

You could be feeling hurt for months after the incident happened, or even hold onto a grudge for years.

It’s hard to forgive someone for hurting you so much. But it is advised that you forgive your friends whether you want to stay friends with them or not.

It will help you move on and recover from this faster.

3. Being disappointed.

It’s only natural to feel let down by your friend . You expected more from them.

What they did left you disappointed in them, and possibly in the the whole world.

How could they have done this to you? How could you have let yourself trust them?

If you didn’t see the betrayal coming, you’re probably asking yourself tough questions like these.

You might even be disappointed in yourself for letting yourself trust this person and not noticing the truth earlier.

4. Being shocked and confused.

You probably didn’t expect your friend to betray you, so their behavior left you shocked and confused.

You could start doubting everything they ever told you because you don’t know what to think anymore.

It’s confusing how someone so close to you could stab you in the back.

You don’t understand their motivation and reasoning for doing what they did.

Didn’t they know that they could lose you? Why were they willing to risk that happening?

5. Low self-esteem.

Your self-esteem may take a hit by all this, especially if your friend was putting you down or badmouthing you.

Maybe they even betrayed you by stealing your boyfriend or girlfriend.

You could have problems with low self-esteem because of it.

Luckily, you can work on your self-esteem and feel better again.

But never let your friend repeat what they did.

6. Trust issues.

This bad experience could leave you with trust issues.

It’s not just that you’ll have trouble trusting that particular friend, but you’ll also find it hard to trust people in general.

You can work on your trust issues with a therapist.

Don’t let one bad experience ruin more of your friendships and relationships.

7. Feeling grief.

You are probably overwhelmed with a sense of loss. You’re grieving the loss of trust, and possibly the loss of the friendship.

If you need to cry or let out your pain in another healthy way, don’t hesitate to do so.

Take all the time you need to grieve in peace before you are ready to move on.

8. Need for revenge.

What if you want to get back at your friend for hurting you?

If you’re angry, you could be thinking about revenge.

However, this is a very bad idea.

Even if they did something terrible to you, don’t stoop to their level. It’s a much better idea to learn to forgive them and let go.

You may also like:

  • 9 Ways Of Dealing With Betrayal And Healing From The Hurt
  • How To Forgive Someone: 2 Science-Based Models Of Forgiveness
  • How To Accept An Apology And Respond To Someone Who’s Sorry
  • How To Let Go Of Anger: The 7 Stages From Rage To Release

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About The Author

my best friend betrayed me essay

Katie is a writer and translator with a focus on travel, self-care and sustainability. She's based between a cave house in Granada, Spain, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England. She spends her free time hiking, exploring, eating vegan tapas and volunteering for a local dog shelter.

I Felt Betrayed By My Best Friend, And I Regret Cutting Her Off

my best friend betrayed me essay

Sometimes we don’t handle things the way we should. Sometimes the hurt’s so bad, the betrayal so awful, we slide back into old habits. And by “old habits,” I mean “acting like a goddamn teenager.” Because betrayal hurts like nothing else, especially when it comes from someone important in your life, someone you depended on for emotional support. A spouse, maybe. A parent. A best friend.

I lost my best friend.

Our oldest sons were born within four months of each other. I nursed her son; she nursed mine. I stood as godmother to her oldest; she stood as godmother to my middle child. When my oldest son had an anaphylactic reaction to a bee sting , she drove her newborn to the hospital to retrieve our other kid and watched him. When she became deathly ill with both severe hyperemesis (uncontrollable vomiting) and diabetes during her second pregnancy, and her husband left town, I drove to her house to inject her with the shots she needed. I cleaned her bathroom on multiple occasions. She took my children when I had a mental breakdown. When she and her husband moved to another state, I was devastated.

Then she betrayed me.

I had no idea it was coming. None.

I opened Facebook one day to see a post about her making it through her first trimester . About how her hyperemesis was progressing this time around. About how excited they were to have a third baby. I felt completely, totally, and utterly betrayed. I found out about my supposed best friend’s pregnancy from Facebook. The worst part: she had clearly told mutual friends, who must have been instructed not to tell my husband and me. We had seen them recently and they hadn’t discussed the topic with us.

my best friend betrayed me essay

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Post after post came from friends — friends I thought were less close than we were. Friends who had clearly known . Friends who lived in my town. Talk about feeling betrayed. I didn’t know what to do. She had always said she couldn’t, wouldn’t have more children because of how sick she got, and that shared inability to expand our families had always bonded us (not to mention that I also suffer from hyperemesis and diabetes while pregnant, though not as severely as she does, and that plays no small role in our inability to have more kids).

Double gut punch.

My best friend had chosen not to share one of the biggest events in her life with me. I felt enraged. I felt disappointed. I felt sad and hurt and lonely and a whole bundle of emotions all at once. But mostly, I felt betrayed.

And she was active on Facebook.

I did the not-smart thing. The immature thing.

Instead of walking away from the computer, instead of having a cup of tea, or calling my husband, or taking deep breaths, I made the super-mature decision to tell her how betrayed I felt. And rather than ask her why she hadn’t told me, why she’d cut me out of the loop, or what had happened, I took the middle school route and typed, “I’m only going to say it once and I prefer not to discuss it at all. I am deeply hurt I found out about your pregnancy on Facebook … And like I said, I don’t really want to talk about it.”

She replied that she didn’t think I wanted to talk to her “after August.” Then refused to explain what happened “in August.” I’d seen her since August. She had come up to town to visit, kids and foster kids in tow. I felt even more betrayed. She didn’t think our relationship was worth addressing important concerns. How do you answer something like that?

my best friend betrayed me essay

Even more hurt, even more angry, and feeling even more betrayed — our friendship didn’t matter enough to discuss basic disagreements — I dove deeper into my sixth grade self. “I don’t know what gave you that impression,” I typed. “But I am incredibly stunned and deeply hurt and NOW I don’t really want to talk to you anymore.”

She didn’t answer, neither did I, and I snoozed her ass on social media. I’ve been snoozing her every thirty days since. This happened three and a half months ago.

Every thirty days, she pops up on my feed talking about her pregnancy. I’m angry: why did she ditch me? Distance? Because I suck at sending cards? Because we couldn’t make it to our godson’s First Communion? Then I remember she’s pregnant, my friend who used to be my buddy in “we can’t have any more babies,” and I feel even more betrayed. I’m happy they can expand their family. But finding out about her pregnancy over Facebook, when we spent so many hours lamenting that we wanted more children, just seemed cruel.

To her credit, she tried recently. She sent me videos via Facebook for Mother’s Day, of both her daughter and son —I am her son’s godmother, after all, and I love him dearly. He was my son’s best friend.

my best friend betrayed me essay

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I should have watched them. I should have sent a nice message back. I should have been the bigger person.

I was still too angry. I was still too hurt, too betrayed, too sad and too mad. I haven’t looked at them. When I opened Messenger to make sure I got the wording right for this essay, I briefly saw her daughter, whom I love so much, dancing on video. I nearly cried. I’m nearly crying now.

I don’t have a best friend anymore. The girl who I’d probably name as my best girlfriend lives 600 miles away. It hurts. It’s lonely. I’m lonely. No one to go to for a walk with on those days you want to get out of the house. No one take a trip to the mall. No one to give you a hug, or help clean your house when your mom’s coming over.

I wish I could say what I wanted out of this relationship, in the end. I wish I could offer a tidy resolution: I want to be friends again, to go back to before. Part of me, of course, longs for it. Another part of me says, fuck it, if she’s shown she’s capable of something this big, she could do something just like it two, three years from now. I may set myself up for heartbreak.

I know this: I miss our long, lazy afternoons scarfing Jamaican food at her dining room table while the kids ran wild. I miss knowing I could pick up the phone and know she’d be there for me. I miss the easy days, the way she hated the microwave, her aversion to mess and the days she forced me to get out of bed when no one else could. I miss calling to ask if she wanted Starbucks on the way over to her house. It hurts, this missing. It hollows me out.

I want it back.

But I don’t know if I can risk the price.

This article was originally published on June 23, 2019

my best friend betrayed me essay

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A letter to … A friend who betrayed me

D ear F, for some reason I feel the need to write. I'm sorry, as I'm sure we're all getting along nicely with our lives and probably don't want to be dredging this up again but I have this nagging desire for closure – a word I've always hated. I know now that it's a load of crap and life isn't a series of neatly packaged parcels, but I can't get rid of this feeling that I need to say my part.

We'd been friends, the four of us, for a long time. Time, and life's challenges, brought us closer together and we ended up spending all our time together. We were godparents to your children, we spent holidays together. Through our years of IVF and miscarriage, we turned to you, our dear friends, to support us and carry us through.

Gradually, I felt J retreating into himself, needing space from me and our life, which had become sad and hopeless. He turned to you for support; you gladly counselled him and, for a while, I was just relieved he had someone to talk to. I trusted you completely. Then, slowly, the atmosphere changed when we were together. I noticed you taking more care of your appearance, a flirtiness in your behaviour, an attempt to block me out and spend time alone.

I dismissed my feelings as paranoia as I trusted you both. He was a mess, taking medication as well as months off work and spending more and more time with you and your children.

After a while I moved out. I continued to spend time with you, for support, friendship and news, as he was blocking out me and his family and you were my only link to him. I still dismissed the doubts I had as pointless, petty jealousy.

Then he admitted it, that he was falling in love with you and that you wanted to be with him, and my world fell apart. On his part, he was a broken man, believing himself to be in love with the person who was giving him the love and the children that I was unable to and which he so desperately craved.

He hit rock bottom but, amazingly, after a little while longer he realised that what he was feeling wasn't real and we gradually rebuilt our life and our marriage, despite your efforts to prevent us.

Two years on, we are still childless but happy and satisfied with our life together. I resisted contacting you; J was fragile and I wanted to protect him, but I was also frightened of what would happen if I let you into our lives any more.

As much as I want to forgive and forget, it has just not been possible. Every day, J has to face what he did and the impact it had on us and, rightly or wrongly, I blame you.

Your apology via text was laughable and your attempts to justify and excuse your behaviour were irrelevant. You made choices that you knew would devastate and betray the people you loved. I hope you can live with that.

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How To Write a My Best Friend Essay

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Definition: What Is a My Best Friend Essay?

Write about what you know is sage advice often given to fledgling writers. And what do many of our young students know more about than their trusty sidekick, who is a constant presence through thick and thin?

A My Best Friend Essay is precisely what it sounds like; an essay the student writes that is focused on their closest pal’s endearing attributes (and otherwise).

However, the My Best Friend Essay is more than just a chance for students to wax lyrical about their BFFs. It is an authentic opportunity for students to hone their composition skills and exercise their creative flair. 

All this while talking about one of their best mate – not bad!

Visual Writing

STRUCTURING a My Best Friend Essay

This is an essay. It says so right there in the title! Just how complex the structure of a student’s essay is will depend on essential factors such as age and ability. However, the 5-paragraph essay structure is a perfect framework for this type of composition.

One of the most beautiful aspects of the 5-paragraph essay is that it is easily modified to differentiate between lower or higher ability students by simply adjusting the number of paragraphs. The essay will still contain the same essential elements of an introduction, a body, and a conclusion, regardless of how long it is.

The 5-paragraph (or hamburger) essay is a craft in itself and much too broad a topic to go into at length. Check out our complete guide here if you want more detail on this handy essay template.

Briefly though, in essence, the 5-paragraph essay comprises three parts:

  • The Introduction : The opening paragraph will orient the reader to the topic of the essay, in this case, by introducing the show’s star, the best friend .
  • The Body : In the traditional 5-paragraph essay, this makes up three of the five paragraphs. In this type of essay, the student will use these paragraphs to flesh out the main reasons they value their friend, or (at a more advanced level) they will tell a story about them that illustrates why they are the student’s best friend.
  • The Conclusion : In the conclusion, the student can sum up why their friend holds the hallowed title of ‘best’. Or, at a higher level, the student can use the final paragraph of their essay to look forward to the future of their relationship with their best friend. 

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My Best Friend Essay Story

While we are teaching a short essay on my best friend’, it can also be approached from another angle, i.e., as a nonfiction story.

While the clearcut essay format may be eminently suitable for younger students, you may wish to revisit this genre with older students, this time emphasising storytelling.

In this creative nonfiction approach, students can merge the essay format with storytelling elements such as character, setting, central conflict, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. 

Constructing their best friend composition in this manner allows students to work on structuring a nonfiction text. Simultaneously, it offers them a chance to develop their creative flair.

My Best Friend in 10 Lines

Another approach particularly well-suited to younger students is the my best friend essay 10 lines format.

This helps younger students get writing by giving them a clear target to aim for, which makes planning easy.

However, you can still introduce the three elements of the 5-paragraph essay here. As students list the points they want to make in their 10 lines, they can be encouraged to group these into introduction, body, and conclusion sections. 

For example, a plan might look like this:

A ‘My Best Friend in 10 Lines’ Plan

Introduction

Line 1: My friend’s name.

Line 2: What she looks like.

Line 3: Where she is from/her family.

Line 4: What friendship means to me.

Line 5: How we met.

Line 6: The kindest thing she has ever done.

Line 7: The funniest thing she has ever done.

Line 8: My absolute favorite thing about her.

Line 9: Restate why she is my best friend.

Line 10: How I see our future together.

To complete their 10-line ode to their friend, the student simply builds proper sentences around each of these (or similar) ideas.

More on Planning a My Best Friend Composition

As we can see in the sample plan above, the planning process is relatively straightforward when the 5-paragraph essay structure serves as a framework. However, we may want to take things up a notch for students of a higher ability.

A good, old-fashioned brainstorming session is an excellent starting point for the student. They can list their favorite memories and their friend’s best features.

While younger students may inevitably write something of a hagiography (a biography of a saint!), older students may want to present a more realistic portrait of their ever-present amigo.

Likewise, if the student is undertaking their composition in a narrative nonfiction form, they’ll need to map out the narrative arc of their story at the planning stage.

As with any story, the conflict will serve as the engine of the narrative. However, this conflict does not have to take the form of a problem between the writer and the best friend. After all, this text is more likely to be something of a love letter than a letter of complaint. Instead, the conflict is more likely to take the form of a problem or a challenge faced by the writer and their pal together.

Whether or not the student’s text will take a full-blown story form, true-to-life anecdotes will bring life to the student’s writing. The planning process is the perfect time to dump these onto paper, even if they don’t all make it into the final draft.

How to Start a MY Best Friend Essay

As with most text types, fiction or nonfiction, the writer will want to grab the reader’s attention from the outset. An effective way of doing this is by using a hook.

How to Hook The Reader

The student writer has many methods available to grasp the reader’s attention. While some of these will only be suitable for more advanced students, most can be adapted with a bit of effort for our younger writers.

  • Start in the Middle of the Action

Technically known as, In Medias Res , this technique involves opening the story in the middle of a moment of dramatic tension with the exposition filled in later. This type of wizardry is probably best reserved for the more skilled student writer.

  • Make a Bold Promise at the Outset

The promise of a big payoff can undoubtedly catch a reader’s eye and draw them in, but the student-writer must follow through later in the text. For less experienced students, you may want to offer a writing prompt to help out here. For example, 

My best friend Jack is truly one of a kind, but just how special he is wasn’t clear to me until the day a fire broke out in our school.

Students can quickly adapt such prompts by changing the event mentioned to their own circumstances.

  • Create a Sense of Intimacy

Another way to grasp the reader’s interest is to create a sense of intimacy right from the start. This can be achieved by addressing the reader directly in a conversational tone. Students should use informal language and approach writing their text as if they were speaking to a close friend – this is perfect for this writing style.

  • Open with an Anecdote

Another way to create interest (and a sense of intimacy) is to open up with an interesting anecdote about the friend. Students can select an interesting or humorous story to use as a carrot to entice the reader in. The student could substitute an exciting or amusing fact in shorter pieces for a full-blown anecdote.

  • Begin with a Quotation

Quotes are a great way to garner attention. There are many online repositories of inspirational quotes on every topic under the sun where students can find a golden nugget of friendship-based wisdom to open their masterpieces. They must simply type in keywords such as ‘famous’, ‘quotes’, and ‘friendship’ to uncover a smorgasbord of well-articulated wisdom for students to choose from. However, students should ensure the sentiment expressed in their selected quote ties into the type of friendship described in their work.

Working the Body

As we stated earlier in this article, the 5-paragraph essay structure, or the narrative writing arc, lays out a suitable template for the student-writer to work their way through the body of their text. However, it’s worth pointing out five areas where a little attention can significantly impact.

  • Get Specific

The devil’s in the details. The more specific the student is in their writing, the more effectively they will communicate with the reader.

Encourage students to be as precise as possible in their descriptions. A thesaurus is an excellent tool to help students find just the right word for the job.

  • Vary Sentence Length

Often, emergent writers rely on the same couple of simple sentence structures in their writing. This soon makes the writing monotonous for the reader; if they continue to read, it is only with effort that they will finish the student’s work.

Variety is not only the spice of life but also the spice of good writing. Encourage students to vary their sentence structures and alternate between long and short sentences to diversify the rhythm of their writing and evoke interest on the reader’s part.

  • Use Dialogue

Weaving dialogue into a my best friend essay text is a great way to bring colour and variety to a student’s writing. It also allows the student to practice punctuating dialogue – an essential skill!

Students will need to learn to listen carefully if they are to be able to write how people actually speak. Encouraging them to read their dialogue aloud is an effective way to check if it rings true.

  • Incorporate Literary Devices

Though this is undoubtedly a nonfiction text, it has firm roots in creative writing too. Students should incorporate some of the literary techniques and devices that we’d more commonly associate with poetry and fiction writing to add colour, creativity, and imagination to their writing.

For example, for younger students, physical descriptions of their BFF provide the perfect opportunity to introduce similes and hyperbole. Don’t be afraid to get comical here; writing should be fun, after all. 

Does their friend have a big nose? How big? As big as an elephant’s trunk, perhaps?

Just make sure students avoid being too mean or poking fun at areas too sensitive for their friends.

It is easy to differentiate different abilities by challenging stronger students to use more complex literary devices in their work. Zoomorphism anyone?

  • Evoke the Five Senses

Emergent writers often display a bias towards only using the sense of sight in their descriptions. To bring their writing up a notch, encourage your students to employ all five senses in their writing.

By evoking the sense of hearing, smell, taste, and touch in their work, students will help their writing to come alive in the reader’s imagination.

WRAPPING THINGS Up

In a regular 5-paragraph essay, the concluding paragraph is usually the time to summarize the main arguments and drive home the thesis statement one more time. Obviously, things are a little bit different in a “my best friend essay.”

Of course, students can take the opportunity to revisit and restate the main reasons why their best friend holds the best-friend-championship belt. Still, there is a more artistic way to use their composition’s final paragraph.

Ask students to think about their friendship and where they see it in five, ten, twenty, or even forty years.

Undoubtedly, for younger students, in particular, this may be a bit of a challenge, but it can be a fun thought experiment too. Students can pose themselves questions to help, such as:

  • Will we be neighbours?
  • Will we work together?
  • Will our children go to school together? Etc.

Taking a tentative step into the possibilities of the future can make for an impactful ending.

MY BEST FRIEND ESSAY EXAMPLE

My Best Friend Essay | Slide2 | How To Write a My Best Friend Essay | literacyideas.com

So that should get you well on your way to creating an excellent my best friend essay that will not only get you some great grades but also score you some brownie points.

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25 FUN and ENGAGING writing tasks your students can complete INDEPENDENTLY with NO PREP REQUIRED that they will love.

Fully EDITABLE and works as with all DIGITAL PLATFORMS such as Google Classroom, or you can PRINT them for traditional writing tasks.

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Essays About Best Friends: 5 Essay Examples and 7 Prompts

If you’re writing an essay and want to put your best friend in the spotlight, check out these essay examples on essays about best friends. 

Best friends are those with whom we have formed a deep and unique bond. What makes them remarkably special is that we chose them unlike with family. For this, some even consider their best friends to be extensions of themselves. 

We all trust our best friends wholeheartedly; that’s why they are the best people to confide in. And many of the lasting memories in our lives are those that we create with them. These memories could be filled with waves of boisterous laughter or even the most piercing pain when your friendship is tested.

Read on and find essay examples and prompts that could motivate you to write about best friends.

5 Essay Examples

1. how friendships change in adulthood by julie beck, 2. diamonds are not this girl’s best friend by courtney carver, 3. how to tell your best friend you’re in love with them – by those who have taken the plunge by sirin kale, 4. my best friend died: a real-life guide to coping by gabrielle applebury, 5. is it normal to not have a best friend by viktor sander, 7 helpful writing prompts on essays about best friends, 1. describe your best friend, 2. hanging out with your best friend , 3. long distance friendship, 4. cutting off toxic best friends, 5. falling in love with your best friend, 6. famous literary friendships, 7. a dog is a man’s best friend.

“Hanging out with a set of lifelong best friends can be annoying, because the years of inside jokes and references often make their communication unintelligible to outsiders. But this sort of shared language is part of what makes friendships last.”

The above essay delves into the evolution of friendship throughout the different stages of our lives, from childhood and teen years to family life and retirement. While we have all deferred a meetup with friends several times to attend to family and work, many people still treat their friendship as stable and continuous, even in long lapses in communication. 

You might also find these essays about camping trips helpful.

“My best friend is a magical, rooftop sunrise. My best friend is the ocean. My best friend is a hike in the mountains. My best friend is a peaceful afternoon. My best friend is a really good book. My best friend is laughter. My best friend is seeing the world. My best friend is time with people I love.”

This essay takes on a broader definition of a “best friend,” deriving from Marilyn Monroe’s famous quote: “Diamond are a girl’s best friend.” From having excessive material wants for every occasion, the author realizes that the greatest “friends” in life are not material things but the simple joys that nature and love can bring.

“It was supposed to go the way things do in the movies. Nora would tell her best friend that she loved him, he would feel the same way and then they would kiss – preferably in the rain. So when the 30-year-old arts manager declared her love for her best friend when they were still teenagers, she expected a happy ending.”

Check out these essays about beauty .

The essay by Srirn Kale treats its readers to compelling stories of best friends ending up in marriage and those parting ways because of unrequited love. But, before taking the bold step of declaring your love for your best friend, a relationship guru advises lovers first to read the signs that signal any reciprocity of these deep feelings. 

“Losing a best friend may be one of the most difficult and heartbreaking experiences you have in your lifetime. If you aren’t sure how to process that your best friend died, know that there are many healthy options when it comes to coping with this type of loss.”

Coping with losing a best friend could lead to depression or even suicidal thoughts, especially if your best friend means the world to you. Some coping tips include journaling your grieving process to understand your emotions and confusion better and doing things that can relive your best friend’s memories. 

“If you are happy with the friends you currently have, there’s no need to try making a best friend for the sake of it. You might have friends but no best friend; that’s perfectly OK. It’s not necessary to have a BFF.” 

Not everyone has a best friend. Some would find this fact hard to believe, but a YouGov survey has shown that 1 in 5 of the US population claims to have no close friends. The essay, therefore, explores the reasons for this friendlessness and gives tips on building a bond with potential best friends, starting with your existing circle of acquaintances.

Check out our top writing prompts to help you celebrate and write about best friends.

Essays About Best Friends: Describe your best friend

Begin this essay by describing what your best friend looks like and what traits you like most about them. Then, given these qualities, would you consider your best friend a role model? Your essay can also answer how similar you and your best friend are and what things you both agree on. But if you have more differences than similarities, write how you deal with them or put them aside.

In this essay, describe your favorite ways to hang out with your best friend. What do you like doing together? Describe what a day spent with your best friend looks like and which part you like most about your dates. If your conversations draw your mutual admiration for each other, then talk about what topics make you talk for hours on end and their perspectives on things that you find fascinating.

Do different time zones make friends grow apart? Or does distance make the heart grow fonder? First, interview two to three people whose best friends moved to a different country or city. Next, learn how frequently they communicate with each other. Finally, compile these stories and make a smooth transition to each one such that the structure highlights the challenges of long-distance friendships and how each set of friends gets by. 

Discarding best friends is a hard decision. But it is also brave if you feel they are dragging you down. For this prompt, you can pose a list of questions readers can ask themselves to grasp the situation better. For example, is your friend doing you more harm than good? Have you set boundaries that they find hard to respect? Then, explain how reflecting on each question can help one determine when it is time to cut some ties loose.

Falling in love with your best friend can only end in two scenarios: a happy ever after or an end of a beautiful relationship. Expanding on our essay prompt above, list down more tips to know when it is best to confront your best friend about your feelings or work hard to quash your emotions for the continuity of the relationship.

Pick out best friends from novels that formed friendships that touched you the most. They could be Harry, Ron, Hermoine of Harry Potter, Frodo, Sam of the Lord Of The Rings, or even Sherlock and Watson From The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes. First, describe what it is in their friendship that you find most riveting. Then, narrate events that served as the biggest tests to their friendships and how they conquered these challenges. 

What about dogs that some people find more lovable than others? Answer this in your essay by outlining the traits that make a dog the ideal best friend. For one, their loyalty makes us confident that they will not betray us. If you have a dog, write about the qualities that make your dog a reliable and fun companion. Then, narrate events when your dog proved to be your best friend. 

If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics . 

If you want to ensure that your thoughts flow smoothly in your essay, check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays .

my best friend betrayed me essay

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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My Best Friend Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 Words)

A best friend is a special and unforgettable person in our lives and will stay longer than other common friends. We share most of the things, conversations, and important talks and support them anytime in our lives.

In this topic, we are discussing the best friend and the memories that we all spent with our friends and best friends. 

We have covered an essay pattern in various paragraphs of around 100 words, 200 words, 300 words, and 500 words, respectively, that helps many of the children or students of class 2 to 12th to understand the short and descriptive essay pattern of the best friend.

Table of Contents

My Best Friend Essay 100 Words

I always thank God that he sent Rahul into my life as my best friend, and I also wish that everyone has a friend like Rahul. Rahul and I met on the first day of school after the summer vacation when we were studying in the 5th standard.

I also remember an incident when our class teacher asked him about his previous school and the place from where he came. He is a good speaker, and he gave an interesting answer to everyone in his introduction in class. 

He is good at studies and also a good athlete. He loves running and singing too, and his handwriting is also very neat and clean. I feel happy to become his friend, and he also loves my company, and we spend most of our time together.

My Best Friend Essay 200 Words

I have had a lot of friends since childhood, but Raghav is one of the kindest and most trustworthy friends for me. I must say that Rohan has been my best friend since childhood. He is a very good person and a true friend because he has a good manner that he never lies to anyone, and hates people who lie to him. He is a kind boy and also a sincere student. We both live in the same building, and our apartments are also in front of each other. 

My parents also met my friend in the school at the parents-teachers meeting, and they also like Raghav and his sincerity. We both have been in the same class from the 3rd standard until now. We are in the 10th standard now, and we both help each other in the preparation for Board exams, which will be held in the month of March. 

He always invites me to his house to play video games with him. Every Sunday, we both enjoy playing video games with popcorn and juice together. Sometimes, our school teachers also wonder about our true friendship and the strong bond between us. He has a set of badminton rackets and a shuttle, and we also play together in the evening near our building. We both love each other’s company.

My Best Friend Essay 300 Words

Everyone has at least a single friend who is more than just a friend to them. Getting a friend is common, but getting a true friend is very rare and a bit special. It is like a big achievement for people to get a trustworthy and lifelong best friend. I also had a best friend in my life too since childhood. His name is Ganaraj, and his mother is Telugu. We are neighbors too and also classmates. We always sit together in school and also spend most of the time together. 

He is a very talented person and always supports me in my studies. We both like mathematics, and also we love to solve maths numerical problems. I like to play games, and we both always play games together and participate in the sports that are held in school. Our favorite sport is Cricket, and we both are good all-rounders on our school cricket team. Our class teacher always suggests and supports us to play cricket even better and also helps in education to achieve success in life.

He is very valuable to me, and I always value his friendship as I value my parents. He is like my family, as a brother from another mother. Whenever I need his help and support, my best friend is there for me to hold me. We both live in the precious moment and create memories that will stay with me forever. Our friendship is a kind of beautiful relationship, and I hope any kind will never break these mistakes. Every Sunday, we go together to a playground near our locality, and we spend most of our time there. My parents also like Ganaraj to be my friend. Everyone is happy with our friendship and has a strong bond that never goes down in any situation.

My Best Friend Essay 500 Words

My best friend’s name is Siddhart Jadhav. We have been friends since class 7th A in Alfred Nobel High School. We both studied in the same school in childhood but not in the same class as our sections are different. Later that time, all the students from all the sections are sorted according to the previous academics’ percentages and grades and separated into four different sections. Due to this separation, I met Siddhart in the 7th A, and we became friends at that time. Later, time goes by, and our friendship bond becomes stronger, and we become best friends with each other and spend most of our time together in school, tuition, and extra classes. We also sit on the same bench in the classroom. 

Our likes and dislikes are also common, and we also love to dance and sing. In every annual gathering and other function that is held in our school, we both participate and give our best performances. We never wanted to win the competitions, our intention was to enjoy the gathering. Some of our school teachers don’t like our togetherness and friendship, but some of them loved and always blessed our strong bonded friendship to stay longer and longer. Siddharth and I always talked in the running classroom, and most of the time, our teacher also punished both of us by standing outside the classroom. We always tried to irritate the lecturer in the chemistry lectures by asking tons of doubts and questions. We eat tiffin boxes sitting on the last benches.

Apart from this naughtiness, Siddharth is very punctual, and he is never late for coming to school and attending classes. He always completes his homework at a given time and being with him, I also start studying very well and completing my homework on time. He keeps his books and copies very clean. His writing is very nice and encourages me to write cleanly and clearly for better understanding. My parents also compliment my friend that being with him, I also become responsible and a good student.

Siddharth and I are both excellent football players and athletes. When we both start playing the football game, the opponent team never wins. Our sports teacher always motivates us and tells us that we will become good football players one day. My parents also know Siddharth very much, and they like his pleasant behavior. Feel free when Siddharth and I stay together, whether for playing games, video games, study, or for going out to have fun with other classmates. Siddharth is my best friend, my first friend. He is the one who offers me help in my studies when I need it, supports me and always shows love to me, defends me, and stands by my side in any situation no matter what. 

In academics, my best friend, Siddharth, is chosen to be awarded the best student of the year in the 10th class. He is one of the brilliant students of our school and also won many of the competitions that were held in school. He is like a well-wisher, and I always enjoyed his company. He, too, feels secure and relieved by spending time with me as well. He is like a problem-solving friend to me. I never wanted to lose him in my life.

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My friends betrayed me and now I trust no one

I thought i was getting over it, but i'm reverting to anxious, self-destructive habits, by cary tennis.

I recently experienced some serious betrayal. My best friend told some pretty big lies (laced with some small truths) to my "person." He wasn't my boyfriend (we broke up after two years because he couldn't even admit that he loved me) but he was the biggest part of my life. Anyway, so my best friend told him some heinous things about me and he cut off all contact with me, changed his phone number, etc. He didn't even ask me for the truth. And my friend lied to my face and swore she did not tell him. Unfortunately, the small truths she interspersed with the lies were facts only known to her, and she'd threatened to tell him before, once, when she was angry with me.

I moved, I did the stuff exchange, I said good riddance to both of them and have tried to move on. I mean, with friends like these, who needs enemies? I am fortunate enough to have lots of good people in my life who have stood by me -- a good family, good friends who didn't believe the lies, etc. On the outside, I have moved on.

But it's midnight and I am sitting in my car writing this, listening to "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell on repeat. Things are not OK. I am not OK. The two people I have loved the most over these past five years are gone. And I don't even really know why. I spend lots of money I don't have, I don't sleep, the eating disorder I have worked so hard to beat is rearing its head, and I feel like every day I am putting on a show - -- even, sometimes, for myself. I tell myself that I am better off, that things are looking up, I go to a therapist who encourages me to stay present, I run, I listen to happy songs and try to get outside as much as I can. But the heart wants what it wants, and what it wants is to not feel like love is a sham.

I am scared to trust people. I am scared to let anyone really know how much I am hurting -- I am afraid that they will hurt me or leave me too. I am ashamed that I was fucked over this badly -- ashamed that I still, for all intents and purposes -- don't have a clue as to why this happened, as to what I could have done to deserve the calumny of betrayal, and worse the lack of trust (why didn't he just come to me? I could have told the truth!).

I don't think there's anything to be done that isn't already being done, but I'd love some perspective if you have it.

Thank you, Cary,

Both Sides Now

Dear Both Sides Now,

Love is not a sham. Some people are untrustworthy, but not all people. Some people are very trustworthy. So you are in a painful situation, but you have done some good things and all you need to do now is take care of yourself and do the things you are doing, and be patient and pay attention and not go off the rails while you heal. What your therapist says makes sense: Stay present.

Staying present is the big game. The "why" may or may not come. Many people's actions are beyond our understanding. It is our own actions that become clear over time: We come to see how we ended up in the sphere of untrustworthy souls. We see how they led us in, how they trapped us. We see what it was about them that fooled us into thinking they would be loyal.

And we learn how to take care of ourselves after something like this. We learn what lines of thought are helpful and which ones lead to further anxiety. It is tempting to wonder what we could have done differently and why people did what they did, but that is not a very helpful course in the early months. In the early months it's good to take care of yourself.

Can you take some time off? It's hard to get back to ourselves when we are so taken out of ourselves by work, family, bills, routine, responsibilities, worries, interruptions, etc. I believe in taking the occasional day to give yourself a break. If you pay attention to the benevolent forces of nature around you, such as trees, clouds and rain, mountains and forests, grasses and flowers, it will become apparent how much you are still part of a much larger world that does enfold you and embrace you. Human betrayals shrink in comparison.

What will come out of this is a better understanding of yourself. Eventually you will see how certain traits in these people led you into their orbit. You will see how certain things they offered awakened your own unknown hungers. You will see how there may have been warning signs. You will see patterns and learn to protect yourself. This will happen. And if you do this gradually, with some grace and some faith that you're going to be OK, then the scarring will be minimal; you won't go into that rigid, protective crouch that we sometimes find ourselves in after a difficult emotional scene; you won't come to flinch at the least hint of intimacy. If you take it gradually, and just heal, and stay present, you will heal wholly.

Take your time. Answers will come.

What? You want more advice?

  • Read more Cary Tennis in the Since You Asked directory.
  • See what others are saying and/or join the conversation in the Table Talk forum.
  • Ask for advice. Letter writers: Please think carefully! By sending a letter to [email protected], you are giving Salon permission to publish it. Once you submit it, it may not be possible to rescind it. So be sure. If you are not sure, sleep on it. You can always send tomorrow. Ready? OK, Submit your letter for publication.
  • Or, just make a comment to Cary Tennis not for publication.
  • Or, send a letter to Salon's editors not for publication.  

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John McWhorter

What if o.j.’s trial happened now.

The letters O and J cut out of a red piece of paper, revealing behind them the headline “not guilty,” with a photograph of two men in a courtroom.

By John McWhorter

Among the signature images of O.J. Simpson’s acquittal of the murders of his ex-wife and her friend was the contrasting tableaus of Black people grouping in front of television screens applauding while white people watching it were shaking their heads — appalled, perplexed and even disgusted by a verdict that flew in the face of obvious fact. Those contrasting perspectives have gone down as demonstrating a gulf of understanding between the races.

That gulf persists, but it narrows apace, and if the verdict came down today, it would be a lot less perplexing to many white people than it was back then. Many would understand why the jury acted as it did. We might even see some of them applauding along with Black people.

It isn’t that these people would celebrate Simpson himself, any more than the jurors did back in 1995. As has been often noted in the wake of his death, Simpson was not much of a hero in the Black community, as he spent little time with Black people, dated white women, made no contributions to Black-related causes and even declared “I’m not Black, I’m O.J.”

I’m not sure how many people of any color sincerely believed that Simpson was not the murderer and that the L.A.P.D., which had long coddled him despite his frequent battery of his wife, had for some reason framed him. The evidence of Simpson’s deed was overwhelming despite the ineptitude of the prosecution team. The verdict and the response to it among the Black community weren’t signs of support for Simpson; they were protests against a long legacy of mistreatment and even murder at the hands of the police.

For Black people in Los Angeles recalling how the L.A.P.D. had treated them for decades, for Black people in Philadelphia not long past the all but open racism of the police force there under Mayor Frank Rizzo, for Black people in Chicago remembering the racist profiling and abuse by the cops called the Flying Squad, the sheer fact of a Black man getting off on a murder charge was of epic significance. If anything, the fact that he was obviously guilty only amplified the victory.

For all the statistical discrepancies between Black and white Americans, interactions with the police may be the central driver of how many Black people experience racism. I noted this in my research and conversations in preparation for my book “Losing the Race” in the late 1990s, when I was sincerely trying to figure out why so many Black people spoke of racism almost as if it were the 1890s rather than the 1990s. There is a reason that the main focus of the Black Panthers was combating police brutality, that anti-cop animus was central to gangsta rap and that today Black Lives Matter may be more influential than the N.A.A.C.P.

In 1995 white people were generally less aware of this legacy. But today a majority of both white people and Black people attest that Black people are treated unfairly by the police.

It’s easier to insist that change doesn’t happen — which, when it comes to race, too many are inclined to — than to allow that it happens slowly. In 1949, even as progressive a soul as Oscar Hammerstein had to be politely implored by Paul Robeson’s wife not to make the one Black male chorus member in the original production of “South Pacific” spend his time onstage jitterbugging happily around. A theater artist would have been vastly less likely to make that mistake by the 1970s, but racism hadn’t ended; it had just become more subtle.

I saw it then, as a kid, in the coverage of television. Two popular sitcoms included actresses in their 80s going strong: Judith Lowry, the white woman who played Mother Dexter on “Phyllis,” and Zara Cully, the Black woman who played Mother Jefferson on “The Jeffersons.” There was endless media coverage of what a marvel Lowry was but all but none of this kind on Cully, despite the fact that “The Jeffersons” was a much bigger show — and that Cully was, frankly, a better and funnier actress. I noticed that Lowry was celebrated as a magnificent aged trouper while Cully was processed as just some old lady. My mother noticed it, too, saying that it was an example of Black people not being fully seen.

Observations like these were common among Black people but much less so among white people. Today I see white people far more aware. That’s why when I fast-forward the Simpson verdict to 2024, I picture some white people getting the news on their phones and doing high-fives and group hugs, some of them in tears. They would be no more likely to see Simpson himself as a hero than were the jurors of 1995, especially given that modern America is more sensitized not only to racism but also to abuse of women. But they would be more likely to see the acquittal as a kind of payback for all of the white cops who have been exonerated for murdering Black people. It would be processed, I imagine, as a teaching moment of sorts.

I, for one, have my issues with how racism and the police are commonly discussed these days. The cops obviously discriminate against Black people; the data is in . But when it comes to murder, I have learned over the past eight years or so that the story is more complex. Too many white people also are killed by cops. Proportionately to our share of the population, Black people are more likely than white people to be killed. But they are also more likely to be poor, and for a whole host of reasons, poor people are more likely to encounter the police. So poverty itself may explain part of the disparity. Also, in 2016 a white man named Tony Timpa was killed by cops in a way very similar to how George Floyd was murdered, but Timpa’s case did not attract the same kind of public outcry. All that leads me to think that America has a problem with police violence in general. But here’s the thing: I am accustomed to vigorous resistance to that argument from not only Black but white people, too.

It is in this context that the stark racial divide in the reception of the Simpson verdict three decades ago seems rather antique. There has been, regardless of the disagreements that inevitably persist, progress.

John McWhorter ( @JohnHMcWhorter ) is an associate professor of linguistics at Columbia University. He is the author of “ Nine Nasty Words : English in the Gutter: Then, Now and Forever” and, most recently, “ Woke Racism : How a New Religion Has Betrayed Black America.” @ JohnHMcWhorter

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  5. Have You Been Betrayed by a Friend or a Loved One? How to ...

    Experiencing betrayal from my best friend was a tough experience to endure. For a long time, I had a hard time trusting people, and it was a relief to find someone I could confide in and share my hopes, dreams, and worries. My friend had also opened up to me, I had faith in her and trusted her, so the betrayal, which seemed to come out of ...

  6. A Personal Narrative About a Friend's Betrayal

    This is a personal narrative about a friend's betrayal. The author describes the sense of loss she felt when her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend. This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement. Exactly what I needed.

  7. What You Can Do When Your BFF Turns Into Your Worst Enemy

    2. If your friend denies responsibility or tries to downplay or negate your feelings, try putting what you're thinking into words anyway. Say it simply and clearly, without blaming, if at all ...

  8. Betrayed by Your Best Friend? 6 Ways to Heal Your Heart

    5. Recognize that there is no single right way to handle a betrayal. What is crucial, however, is to recognize and acknowledge, at least to yourself, what you are feeling. Once you have done that ...

  9. Experiencing A Friend Betrayal?

    The act of forgiveness is for you not for the friend who betrayed you. 7. Find professional help. Lastly, depending on the type of betrayal and the amount of emotional pain seeking professional help can be effective. Healing from a friend's betrayal encompasses a lot of emotional energy and big emotions. It can be incredibly helpful to have a ...

  10. What To Do When You Have Been Betrayed by a Friend

    Option A: Working Out the Issue with Her. If this is an important friendship to you, then you should work this out with her. Find a good time and place to air your unhappiness. Do this objectively—don't make it an issue about her, but rather, your grievances about her actions and their impact on your feelings.

  11. Betrayed Trust: A Painful Chapter in My Life

    Download. Essay, Pages 3 (686 words) Views. 9040. The echoes of betrayal still reverberate in the chambers of my past, as I reflect on the painful episode that unfolded when my closest friend turned out to be the harbinger of my deepest wounds. The year was 1978 when she entered my life, renting the apartment adjacent to the old farmhouse my ...

  12. Friendship Stories About Being Betrayed By A Friend

    4. Bye, Felicia. "My friend stole $50,000 from a business we started together and took off to Costa Rica.". 5. The mean girl. "They day of my birthday my "best friend" went to a party of ...

  13. How to Get Over a Friend's Betrayal: 12 Tips for Healing

    Things You Should Know. Take some space away from your friend to heal and collect your thoughts. Engage in hobbies and try talking to trusted loved ones about the situation. If you decide to try to repair the relationship, let them know they did something that hurt you, and set strong boundaries for the future.

  14. How My Best Friend Changed My Life

    Published: Dec 27, 2022. To truly understand who I am and how my best friend changed my life, I feel the need to share my story. Throughout my life, my mom has always said that my theme song should be 'Miss Independent' by Kelly Clarkson. I've always been someone who did things on my own. It's not that I didn't have any friends; I did.

  15. If You Were Betrayed By A Friend, Here Is What You Should Do

    6. Don't rush into a decision. When we're angry, we all make decisions that we later regret, and you don't want the loss of a good friend to be the result of an impetuous decision you made in the heat of the moment. Give yourself time to calm down and mull over the situation before you make any decisions.

  16. Betrayal: Best Friend Narrative And Reflective Essay Example (400 Words

    Betrayal: Best Friend. Being betrayed by your best friend is one of the most difficult things you might have to deal with. I suppose that I wouldn't really know anything about that due to never considering myself as my best friend. I guess the worst betrayal one can go through is betraying yourself. I have gone through that many times, it's ...

  17. I Felt Betrayed By My Best Friend, And I Regret Cutting Her Off

    Sometimes we don't handle things the way we should. Sometimes the hurt's so bad, the betrayal so awful, we slide back into old habits. And by "old habits," I mean "acting like a goddamn teenager.". Because betrayal hurts like nothing else, especially when it comes from someone important in your life, someone you depended on for ...

  18. A letter to … A friend who betrayed me

    A friend who betrayed me. D ear F, for some reason I feel the need to write. I'm sorry, as I'm sure we're all getting along nicely with our lives and probably don't want to be dredging this up ...

  19. How To Write a My Best Friend Essay

    Briefly though, in essence, the 5-paragraph essay comprises three parts: The Introduction: The opening paragraph will orient the reader to the topic of the essay, in this case, by introducing the show's star, the best friend. The Body: In the traditional 5-paragraph essay, this makes up three of the five paragraphs.

  20. Essays About Best Friends: 5 Essay Examples and 7 Prompts

    You might also find these essays about camping trips helpful. 2. Diamonds Are Not This Girl's Best Friend by Courtney Carver. "My best friend is a magical, rooftop sunrise. My best friend is the ocean. My best friend is a hike in the mountains. My best friend is a peaceful afternoon. My best friend is a really good book.

  21. My Best Friend Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 Words)

    My Best Friend Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 Words) April 3, 2022. A best friend is a special and unforgettable person in our lives and will stay longer than other common friends. We share most of the things, conversations, and important talks and support them anytime in our lives. In this topic, we are discussing the best friend and the ...

  22. My friends betrayed me and now I trust no one

    Published May 23, 2011 12:01AM (EDT) Dear Cary, I recently experienced some serious betrayal. My best friend told some pretty big lies (laced with some small truths) to my "person." He wasn't my ...

  23. Short Paragraph and Long Essay on Betrayal in English

    Betrayal is the demonstration of building trust and afterward utilizing that trust for individual increase. It regularly includes breaking the trust and frequently includes lying. Treachery is anything that carries on the interest of a person or thing when that person or thing has been persuaded that would not occur. Question 2.

  24. What if O.J.'s Trial Happened Now?

    What if O.J.'s Trial Happened Now? Among the signature images of O.J. Simpson's acquittal of the murders of his ex-wife and her friend was the contrasting tableaus of Black people grouping in ...