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Michelle Obama makes decency great again in her memoir Becoming : EW review

David Canfield is a Staff Editor. He oversees the magazine's books section, and writes film features and awards analysis.

Allow Michelle Obama to clear the air. She doesn't intend to ever run for office. She believes our current president is a "misogynist" whose racist rhetoric put her "family's safety at risk." She fears the impact of the president's recklessness on the country she loves. "I've lain awake at night, fuming over what's come to pass," Obama writes in her memoir, Becoming . "It's been distressing to see how the behavior and the political agenda of the current president have caused many Americans to doubt themselves and to doubt and fear one another."

Becoming arrives like a glass bottle of decency, preserved from a nationwide garbage fire. This is a straightforward, at times rather dry autobiography from a major public figure that stands in remarkably sharp contrast to the state of our discourse — starting with the man in the White House. Yet that contrast isn't derived from Obama's scathing commentary on Donald Trump, which is both brief and somewhat expected, but rather, from the rest — as in, the vast majority — of Becoming , which describes one woman's growth from the South Side of Chicago to First Lady of the United States, through tales of empowerment and overcoming adversity.

What sets Becoming apart is context: Michelle Obama is a black woman, unlike her predecessors, and her book is publishing at a time of unprecedented social division. Thus this latest entrant in the canon of First Lady memoirs — a subgenre themed largely by appeals to unity — can hardly be called apolitical. Every sentence Obama writes makes a statement. This turns out to be especially true because of how little the author deviates from the formula.

The book's first third, "Becoming Me," is dedicated to Obama's upbringing in '60s Chicago and her educational development. It can drag, progressing like so many memoirs of its type. But Obama also constructs episodes from her childhood which vividly, subtly capture the experience of growing up black in America: learning of racism's legacy as she hears her grandfather's stories, being challenged by a peer for "talking like a white girl," occupying spaces like piano recitals and, later, Princeton University, where her blackness — "that everyday drain of being in a deep minority" — clarifies itself.

Obama grew up working-class. Her parents — a stay-at-home mom, and a father whose body she watched decline from multiple-sclerosis until his death at 55 — fully encouraged her ambitions and intellectual curiosity. She recounts memories with an eye toward her political-adjacent future. In remembering how she'd watch her father talk to his neighbors with keen interest and warmth, Obama writes intently to the image of observing a good-hearted politician making the rounds, listening to his constituents' troubles, like he has nowhere else to be. (Remind you of anyone?) She also depicts moments of personal transformation, like when she, still young, physically attacked a moody girl named DeeDee to gain her respect.

But these are the scenes you'd get in the biopic version: meaty, telegraphed, devoid of subtext. The mechanics can outweigh the story here. Obama's strength in Becoming lies in hindsight, her ability to take a step back from a specific anecdote, and not only contextualize but ruminate on it, really consider its power. In these asides, that introspection Obama claims to have had as a kid comes into thrilling evidence — as prose. On one difficult teen experience, she writes, "I look back on the discomfort of that moment and recognize the more universal challenge of squaring who you are with where you come from and where you want to go." One of Becoming 's best passages comes even earlier, in the preface, as Obama details the day of Trump's inauguration: "A hand goes on a Bible; an oath gets repeated. One president's furniture gets carried out while another's comes in. Closets are emptied and refilled in the span of a few hours. Just like that, there are new heads on new pillows — new temperaments, new dreams. And when it ends, when you walk out the door that last time from the world's most famous address, you're left in many ways to find yourself again."

I focus particularly on the book's opening section because it's most reflective of how Obama frames Becoming : as a story of where she came from, where she went, and how she carried herself along the way. The author invests in a sort of quintessentially American narrative, but subverts it by not shying away from the realities of race and gender, and finding opportunities for complex, candid reflection.

The bulk of these opportunities, surely, arrive in "Becoming Us" — the book's second and best section, devoted to her romance with Barack Obama. Again, from a distance, it looks roughly like what we've seen from many a First Lady's public account: the bumps in the road, the difficulty of the spotlight, the durability of their love. But Obama seems determined in Becoming to fully live in the pain, the disappointment, the regret, and the loss she's felt at various times during their relationship. She interrogates it, picks at it, and reveals to readers what's underneath.

Just listen to the words she uses. Obama felt "resentment" toward her husband and his commitment to politics after she suffered a miscarriage and, on a doctor's recommendation, proceeded with IVF treatments to start a family. "Or maybe I was just feeling the acute burden of being female," she continues. "Either way, he was gone and I was here, carrying the responsibility." (Earlier, she draws a hauntingly clear picture: "Now here I was in the bathroom of our apartment, trying, in the name of all that want, to screw up the courage to plunge a syringe into my thigh.") Then there's when she fell for Barack; she describes the feeling as "a toppling blast of lust, gratitude, fulfillment, wonder." Obama embraces passionate language periodically, lending Becoming bursts of authenticity.

Overall, Obama plays to the space she and her husband have occupied in the culture — an idyllic, supportive marital unit — brilliantly. She affirms the public perception, that their relationship is happy, healthy, and loving. But she deconstructs what it took — takes — to get there: couples counseling, flickers of doubt, confusion, sacrifice, even loneliness. In laying that aspect of her life most bare — more than her childhood, more than her own legal career and ambitions — Obama persuasively communicates the primacy of her marriage in her life.

Becoming takes a peculiar turn in its final act, as Obama discusses her time in the White House. She ably conveys the confinement she felt — literalized, perhaps, in the saga that was trying to just sit out on the Truman Balcony — and the toll it took on her family. ("This isn't how families work or how ice cream runs work," she recalls saying after Secret Service intervened in Malia trying to get ice cream with her friends.) But this extends to her writing. It's choppy and guarded and, strangely, a bit defensive as she espouses the value of the causes she took up as First Lady. One senses there are layers yet to be peeled here — that the presidency remains relatively raw for Becoming 's author.

But then Becoming is a rather peculiar read throughout. We're at the end of 2018, a year when the paradigm for Washington memoirs has shifted so dramatically — when a fired FBI Director , a reality TV star , and an award-winning journalist could each top the New York Times best-seller list for the exact same reason: digging up Trump dirt. No one has been able to escape the stench, or if they have, they certainly haven't sold Fire and Fury -level copies . Leave it to Michelle "When they go low, we go high" Obama to meet the challenge.

She is direct, forceful, and condemnatory when speaking about Trump, but in a fashion that doesn't sour or alter her own life story. Her honesty translates. More importantly, her intention translates, to remind her country of what's being lost — what she witnessed during the Obama years, what guided their presidency: "a sense of progress, the comfort of compassion…. A glimmer of the world as it could be." May decency reign again. B

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Title: Becoming

Author: Michelle Obama

Publisher: Crown

Genre: Memoir, Politics,

First Publication: 2018

Language: English

Major Characters: Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, Valerie Jarrett

Theme: Optimism, Growth, and Fulfillment; Community, Investment, and Hard Work; Race, Gender, and Politics; Marriage, Parenthood, and Work; Power, Privilege, and Responsibility

Narration: First person

Book Summary: Becoming by Michelle Obama

In a life filled with meaning and accomplishment, Michelle Obama has emerged as one of the most iconic and compelling women of our era. As First Lady of the United States of America—the first African American to serve in that role—she helped create the most welcoming and inclusive White House in history, while also establishing herself as a powerful advocate for women and girls in the U.S. and around the world, dramatically changing the ways that families pursue healthier and more active lives, and standing with her husband as he led America through some of its most harrowing moments.

Along the way, she showed us a few dance moves, crushed Carpool Karaoke, and raised two down-to-earth daughters under an unforgiving media glare.

In her memoir Becoming, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites readers into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her—from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world’s most famous address.

With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it—in her own words and on her own terms. Warm, wise, and revelatory, Becoming is the deeply personal reckoning of a woman of soul and substance who has steadily defied expectations—and whose story inspires us to do the same.

Book Review: Becoming by Michelle Obama

Becoming by Michelle Obama is one of the most powerful memoirs ever written. It is not an inspirational one nor a controversial one not even a political book of secrets – the book’s strength lies in it’s simple candid ring side view of a stellar life of a woman of great importance.

Michelle Obama is truly a profound and phenomenal woman. She’s an ambitious, powerful, fierce and independent woman. We also get to see the other side of Michelle, the one that’s kind, compassionate and humble, the one that feels insecure and unworthy, and the one that has continuously used her pedestal to help others.

“Now I think it’s one of the most useless questions an adult can ask a child—What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.”

Michelle Obama is an American icon. She recognizes how important it is to empower those who need an ally. Michelle Obama has given a voice, and a pedestal, to women and minorities; to those who need a helping hand to succeed. She recognizes that her own success relied heavily on the people around her who propelled her there. She takes nothing for granted, and she’s determined to give back what was given to her.

As Michelle Obama emphasises in the memoir Becoming, throughout her time as FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States), Michelle Obama has always made a point to present herself to the public as a human, as one of them. I really enjoyed getting to know her as a person – her quirks, her childhood, her flaws and her worries – and this intimacy somehow made me admire her even more. Her story is inspiring, and she is an inspiring person.

“If you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others.”

Michelle Obama is a really excellent writer. Some of her prose reads like a speech, speckled with political rhetoric and summaries of her and Barack Obama’s achievements. But that’s just some. When she would recount very significant emotional moments in her life, she would go into such specific depth and vivid detail, I could feel the emotions of suspense, disappointment, fear, frustration, hope.

I liked that she didn’t just focus the book mostly on her involvement in politics, on the time after Barack Obama was elected President and she entered the White House. She shares intimately about her childhood, her colourful family, her friends and her school experience long before she even met Barack, and those chapters show what a driven and empathetic person Michelle Obama is. And I just love the chapters where she really went into her relationship with Barack – how they met, what they mean to each other, even their disagreements about marriage – it’s cute and sweet, and also a mature reflection on a modern relationship.

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”

I really appreciate how honest and candid is Becoming by Michelle Obama. She talks plainly about her doubts about Barack winning, about her distaste for the US political system, about selfishly wanting more of him for herself and their daughters, about her anxieties about making real impact as a First Lady, about how hurt she was when the media attacked her and took her words out of context… even about her disgust for Trump . It was all so refreshing to read, and inspiring to know that she could still find hope in all the despair.

“Do we settle for the world as it is, or do we work for the world as it should be?”

Finally, I also appreciate how Michelle doesn’t assume that her reader knows a lot about US politics, significant incidents/events that shook the nation, and cultural traditions; she makes the effort to explain a little about some of the more complex systems and incidents. So Becoming by Michelle Obama was informative, too.

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Becoming by Michelle Obama review – race, marriage and the ugly side of politics

This revealing memoir offers new insights into her upbringing on the south side of Chicago and the highs and lows of life with Barack Obama

B efore I tell you how much I love Michelle Obama , let me tell you what I have against her. The former first lady is a woman capable of muddying your stance on things you stood firmly against. First on the list is the very concept of a first lady. Just think about this. For feminists, or anyone frankly with a 21st-century grasp of gender equality, it is a highly troublesome concept. It is a position that involves a woman – no matter the glorious complexity, glittering accomplishment or human drama of her prior life – being shoehorned into a role that is, by definition, about the man to whom she is married.

Her role has never been defined, because, I suspect, to do so would involve the awkward truth – that it’s essentially to make her husband look good. First ladies both feed into, and reflect, our patriarchal values, and so, in this world still so intolerant of female domination, making their husbands look good inevitably involves diminishing themselves, and a decoupling from their own achievements, so as not to outshine the president.

Obama is both the ultimate first lady and has also, which is the second issue, been folded into a narrative of the American dream. This is problematic from a black perspective because, as Malcolm X so pithily expressed it, “I don’t see any American dream. I see an American nightmare.” Obama’s role has been in the American dream of both the future, and the past. It’s often remarked that African Americans are the only Americans who do not have any “good ole days”. Because which period of American history could they be nostalgic for? The state sponsored terror of slavery, and segregation? The long, painful battle for civil rights? Or the enduring economic disadvantage and racism that all three left behind?

But it is precisely amid the dark chaos of these conundrums that we find the irresistible light of Michelle Obama. In Becoming – the first book that tells her story from her own perspective – she reveals that her life is a form of alchemy. Her childhood, growing up on the South Side of Chicago, is recalled with an essentially American kind of wholesomeness: a strong nuclear family of four, sharing a one-bed apartment upstairs while the one below was occupied by her piano teacher great aunt Robbie. Her family worked hard and kept things moving upwards.

If Obama were British, this would be a class tale. She describes herself in her early years as “the striver”. Later, campaigning for the first time with her husband, she recounts the moment she realised that her task is mainly to share this story with “people who despite the difference in skin colour reminded me of my family – postal workers who had bigger dreams just as [her grandfather] Dandy once had; civic-minded piano teachers like Robbie; stay-at-home moms who were active in the PTA like my mother; blue-collar workers who’d do anything for their families, just like my dad. I didn’t need to practice or use notes. I said only what I sincerely felt.”

The writer Ta-Nahesi Coates , present at one of these events, was so taken aback by her account of an “idyllic youth” that he “almost mistook her for white”, comparing her, he writes in his book We Were Eight Years in Power, to “an old stevedore hungering for the long-lost neighbourhood of yore”. “In all my years of watching black public figures,” he said, “I’d never heard one recall such an idyllic youth.”

But this protective love of Obama’s childhood did not shut out the communal sense of suffering and injustice that is, for any observer of America, impossible to avoid. The neighbourhood she grew up in was transformed by white flight, and later “deteriorated under the grind of poverty and gang violence”. An early experience with the police via her beloved brother Craig taught her that “the colour of our skin made us vulnerable.” Persistent experiences of discrimination bred in her family “a basic level of resentment and mistrust”.

Most of Obama’s narrative on race, however, comes courtesy not of her own perspective, but that of the many commentators who weaponised her blackness against her. “The rumours and slanted commentary always carried less than subtle messaging about race, meant to stir up the deepest and ugliest kind of fear within the voting public. Don’t let the black folks take over,” she writes. Obama recalls the “angry black woman” messaging, and the time “a sitting US congressman … made fun of my butt.”

But in its dignified tone, Becoming leaves out far more of this sordid history than it chooses to recall. The New Yorker magazine cover depicting her as an armed Black Panther, for example, the time Fox News ran an onscreen graphic describing her as Barack Obama’s “Baby Mama” – like the earlier “welfare queen” trope, a dog whistle appeal to the idea that, if the black family is at the root of America’s problems, how could one of them possibly be part of its solution? Or the time Fox host Bill O’Reilly said: “I don’t want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there is evidence.”

Incidentally it is O’Reilly’s book that Obama will undoubtedly knock off the top of the bestseller list with Becoming – prompting him to tweet something vaguely gracious about the time she, in spite of his bile towards her, made the effort to seek out and be kind to his daughter at a party. It’s a gesture fully grounded in that most Michelle Obama-esque of doctrines. “When they go low, we go high.”

Becoming is a 400-page expansion of this essential doctrine, without compromising a refreshing level of honestly about what politics really did to her. I have read Barack Obama’s two books so far, and this is like inserting a missing piece of reality into the narrative of his dizzying journey. There are brilliant details from their love story, like the time she tried to set him up with other single women, only to discover he was just “too cerebral” for Happy Hour nights where single people would mingle. There are compelling insights into the sorrow of miscarriage, the loneliness of living with a man whose sense of purpose often left little room for anything else, prompting her to seek couples counselling lest their marriage fall apart.

“Coexisting with Barack’s strong sense of purpose – sleeping in the same bed with it, sitting at the breakfast table with it – was something to which I had to adjust,” she writes. Her candour about home life – the pressure of childcare, bills, debts, work and parenting – are interesting because they are so normal, and because normal is something she has never been allowed to be.

As the academic Ula Y Taylor has written, “the idea that a woman would have a ‘radical’ disposition simply by being a thoughtful working black mother says a lot about Americans perceptions of political spouses, and it helps us to better understand why Michelle Obama is perceived as too strong to be first lady.”

It’s hard to be cynical about either Obama’s strength of character or her authenticity. Her book confirms what was observable about her time in the White House, that while she may have had to shape herself into the mould of what politics requires of a first lady, it was still a first lady-shaped version of something real. Her genuine dislike for politics is hard to avoid, in a book rooted in a high moral ground above insults and mudslinging, the political process itself seems the only thing she allows herself to freely insult.

“The appeal of standing in an open gym or high school auditorium to hear lofty promises and platitudes never made much sense to me,” she writes. “The political world was no place for good people”, nothing but “the ugly red versus blue dynamic”, whose “nastiness” has affected her so personally. In this vein, she attempts to end the stubborn speculation about her own future candidacy. “Because people often ask, I’ll say it here, directly: I have no intention of running for office, ever.”

Michelle Barack Obama Donald Trump inauguration in January 2017.

It’s the one time you feel like you maybe know more about her than she knows herself. A few slights against politics and a one-sentence declaration that she will never run for office doesn’t quite cut it after so many pages of what is, unquestionably, a political book. It’s hard not to recall the time when, asked about the challenges of her husband’s political marathon, she once replied, “this is nothing compared to the history we come from”.

During Barack Obama’s tenure, it was Michelle Obama’s roots in the African American experience, in the history of the south that she understood innately as “knit into me”, that lent him crucial legitimacy among black voters. It resurfaces here, adding the profound warnings of past suffering to the observation that, as she sees the Trumps take over the White House, “the vibrant diversity … was gone, replaced by what felt like a dispiriting uniformity, the kind of overwhelmingly white and male tableau I’d encountered so many times”.

Becoming reads as Obama’s first intervention into this distressing new reality. It definitely does not read like it will be the last.

Autobiography and memoir
Book of the week
Politics books
Michelle Obama

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BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME

Notes on the first 150 years in america.

by Ta-Nehisi Coates ‧ RELEASE DATE: July 8, 2015

This moving, potent testament might have been titled “Black Lives Matter.” Or: “An American Tragedy.”

The powerful story of a father’s past and a son’s future.

Atlantic senior writer Coates ( The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood , 2008) offers this eloquent memoir as a letter to his teenage son, bearing witness to his own experiences and conveying passionate hopes for his son’s life. “I am wounded,” he writes. “I am marked by old codes, which shielded me in one world and then chained me in the next.” Coates grew up in the tough neighborhood of West Baltimore, beaten into obedience by his father. “I was a capable boy, intelligent and well-liked,” he remembers, “but powerfully afraid.” His life changed dramatically at Howard University, where his father taught and from which several siblings graduated. Howard, he writes, “had always been one of the most critical gathering posts for black people.” He calls it The Mecca, and its faculty and his fellow students expanded his horizons, helping him to understand “that the black world was its own thing, more than a photo-negative of the people who believe they are white.” Coates refers repeatedly to whites’ insistence on their exclusive racial identity; he realizes now “that nothing so essentialist as race” divides people, but rather “the actual injury done by people intent on naming us, intent on believing that what they have named matters more than anything we could ever actually do.” After he married, the author’s world widened again in New York, and later in Paris, where he finally felt extricated from white America’s exploitative, consumerist dreams. He came to understand that “race” does not fully explain “the breach between the world and me,” yet race exerts a crucial force, and young blacks like his son are vulnerable and endangered by “majoritarian bandits.” Coates desperately wants his son to be able to live “apart from fear—even apart from me.”

Pub Date: July 8, 2015

ISBN: 978-0-8129-9354-7

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

Review Posted Online: May 5, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2015

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | UNITED STATES | HISTORY | CURRENT EVENTS & SOCIAL ISSUES | ETHNICITY & RACE

More by Ta-Nehisi Coates

THE BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE (ADAPTED FOR YOUNG ADULTS)

by Ta-Nehisi Coates ; illustrated by Jackie Aher

by Ta-Nehisi Coates

BOOK TO SCREEN

by Elie Wiesel & translated by Marion Wiesel ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 16, 2006

The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the...

Elie Wiesel spent his early years in a small Transylvanian town as one of four children.

He was the only one of the family to survive what Francois Maurois, in his introduction, calls the "human holocaust" of the persecution of the Jews, which began with the restrictions, the singularization of the yellow star, the enclosure within the ghetto, and went on to the mass deportations to the ovens of Auschwitz and Buchenwald. There are unforgettable and horrifying scenes here in this spare and sombre memoir of this experience of the hanging of a child, of his first farewell with his father who leaves him an inheritance of a knife and a spoon, and of his last goodbye at Buchenwald his father's corpse is already cold let alone the long months of survival under unconscionable conditions.

Pub Date: Jan. 16, 2006

ISBN: 0374500010

Page Count: 120

Publisher: Hill & Wang

Review Posted Online: Oct. 7, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2006

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | HOLOCAUST | HISTORY | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | GENERAL HISTORY

More by Elie Wiesel

by Elie Wiesel ; edited by Alan Rosen

by Elie Wiesel ; illustrated by Mark Podwal

by Elie Wiesel ; translated by Marion Wiesel

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Becoming by Michelle Obama, review: It's humbling and affirming to bear witness to the makings of the former first lady

'i found myself lifting my jaw from my chest at the end of every other chapter,' says kuba shand-baptiste of obama's memoir, article bookmarked.

Find your bookmarks in your Independent Premium section, under my profile

Michelle Obama analyses her life candidly in her memoir 'Becoming'

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With the full weight of Trump ’s presidency on our shoulders, there’s something devilishly comforting about losing yourself in a book that so effortlessly pulls you out of today’s hellscape and thrusts you back to what, comparably at least, seem like the good old days.

Tempting as it may have been for Michelle Obama to resort to romanticising both her and America’s past, in her highly anticipated memoir, Becoming , she instead analyses candidly. Which says a lot, these days.

She takes us through her life from Michelle Robinson, the South Side Chicagoan who relished Stevie Wonder’s Talking Book at the height of white flight just as much as she enjoyed talking back to steely adults, to the unflappable former first lady we know her as. It’s both humbling and affirming to bear witness to the very human makings of Obama.

6 things we have learned from Michelle Obama’s new book ‘Becoming’

This could be – up to a certain point, of course – anyone’s story, notably any black woman’s story. Naturally gifted as Obama clearly is, her choice to divulge small joys like opening windows wide (a luxury she couldn’t enjoy in the White House), her lack of patience with politics, or running through fields with ex-boyfriends at college for the sheer fun of it, is what makes this such an honest endeavour.

Reading about her (at one stage) unrelenting imposter syndrome – which forced her to turn the phrase “not enough, not enough”, over in her mind “like a malignant cell that threatened to divide and divide again” throughout her life – was a revelation I didn’t know I needed. I found myself lifting my jaw from my chest at the end of every other chapter, not because of any seedy insight into stories I’d always wondered about, but because, armed as I was with knowledge about her career, her mannerisms and even her elbow-heavy dancing, this was not the Obama I thought I knew. She was more.

There’s girlish excitement in the way she talks about her first loves. This, and other revelations – of feeling indebted to parents whose hopes and dreams had been poured into her brother Craig after the remnants of slavery and the Great Migration stunted theirs; her experience of motherhood, pregnancy complications, miscarriage and IVF; and later, knowing what it meant to navigate all of those things on as public a stage as you can get – were especially illuminating.

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Her decision not to hold back on calling the current president “a bully” who “among other things demeaned minorities and expressed contempt for prisoners of war, challenging the dignity of our country with practically his every utterance”, too, was welcome – although not as much of a surprise.

But it was good all the same, to see someone, especially her, remind us of the importance of continuing to highlight the “painfully familiar” sense of “menace and male jocularity” in his voice, a voice that, in the famous Access Hollywood “ grab ’em by the pussy” tape, betrayed: “I can hurt you and get away with it.”

Each chapter of Becoming reads like a window into a humanised, nuanced version of America that has always existed, but is increasingly sidelined by mentalities like those.

Like a number of western nations with similar histories, it’s a country as full of interpersonal love as it is of a national, lurking, multiplying fear – an existence as inseparable from its historical horrors as it is from its achievements.

Not only does Obama know that, but she leans into it, understanding full well just how much ongoing discrimination in America has “altered the destinies of generations of African Americans”, how code-switching, and, most importantly, how allowing herself to become whatever version of herself she willed – and not what she was supposed to be – was central to her survival.

Becoming is published by Viking

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BookBrowse Reviews Becoming by Michelle Obama

by Michelle Obama

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Biography & Memoir
Midwest, USA
Washington DC
Contemporary
Parenting & Families
Adult-YA Crossover Nonfiction
Black Authors
Strong Women
Top 20 Best Books of 2019

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Former First Lady Michelle Obama offers insight into her life and mind, discussing her education and career, motherhood, and maintaining decorum during politically divisive times.

Voted 2019 Best Nonfiction Award Winner by BookBrowse Subscribers BookBrowse hosted a Book Club discussion early in 2019 about Michelle Obama's memoir Becoming , and participants overwhelmingly expressed their appreciation for the book. Here are some highlights from that discussion. What it's about: In Becoming , former First Lady Michelle Obama narrates her life story, from her upbringing in South Side Chicago, to her education at Princeton and Harvard, to meeting and marrying President Barack Obama. She further narrates the Obamas' eight years in the White House, explaining how she managed to juggle raising children with affairs of state, while also keeping her trademark composure and positive attitude in the face of criticism. Many Book Club participants admired Mrs. Obama's honesty and candor: Her decision to take a different path was inspiring, and she made some difficult choices. It's not easy to walk away from expectations that others have for you. Her honesty throughout the book was very refreshing (Auntie Mame). I was surprised when I got insight into their personal life issues and problems, such as marital difficulties. I feel many normal couples go through these things and they are very relatable (theavidbookerfly). It surprised me when she admitted she disliked being a lawyer, and I admired her courage to switch her "horizons" to working with the people. Her involvement with Public Allies impressed me. She utilized her inherent talents and expanded those assets with future projects, always with the idea of 'uplifting' people to believe in themselves (kathrynb). I found her memoir astounding. She writes with such honesty, passion and love. She recalls her feelings about her miscarriage, the deaths of her father and her friend Suzanne, and the difficulties in her marriage. She is also very funny and clear-eyed about trying to find a balance between career and motherhood (barbarae). Readers also thought the former First Lady was a remarkably good writer: I guess it's no surprise that someone who excelled in academics and in life is so skilled with the written word. Becoming was informative without being stuffy, casual without being chatty and so well-crafted overall (paulak). Michelle has always been one of my favorite First Ladies and now I feel I know her even better. The book is very well written and I felt like I was right in the moment with her and her girls (RuthEh). Many commenters felt like Becoming helped them get to know Mrs. Obama on a personal level: By the time I finished the book I felt as if I had just had a wonderful conversation with a friend (PTK). I really enjoyed it. She writes very well. She is very honest about her life and her family. It was like having a chat with a friend (karenrn). I felt I really got to know what kind of person Michelle was/is beyond her public life and image, and I found a woman who, like all of us, has had her share of ups and downs in life. She has shown us that "becoming" is always a work in progress (pate). I thoroughly enjoyed her story and the way she expressed it. I feel like I have gotten a wonderful glimpse into her life and it left me wanting to know what she is planning to do next. After reading Becoming , there's one thing I do know—she is definitely someone I would love to hang out and share ideas with (jamiek). Overall, readers were very enthusiastic: I could not have loved this book more than I did. It was presented in such a way that when I was finished, I felt I had full knowledge of what made Michelle tick (Carol R). It was like meeting a new friend and over time getting to know her through revelations of the stages of her life. It was easy and still thought-provoking (katherinep). I love Michelle Obama and I loved her book. She is a class act and it came through in her writing (djn). I found her memoir astounding. She writes with such honesty, passion, and love (barbarae). This is a fabulous, informative and uplifting book. I always had a good impression of Michelle Obama and this book enhanced it. I felt that Michelle really shared herself with her readers and offered an intimate look at her life (Lois I).

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In the Best Moments of Becoming, the Miracle of Michelle Obama Arises

By Sonia Saraiya

Image may contain Michelle Obama Clothing Apparel Evening Dress Gown Robe Fashion Sleeve Human and Person

A recurring theme in Becoming, the debut memoir from former First Lady Michelle Obama, is the physicality of her most powerful emotions. On the verge of flying to Europe for a high-school class trip—the first time she’d travel across the Atlantic, an opportunity her parents never had—she describes the experience of taking off. “And then we were rattling down the runway and beginning to tilt upward as the acceleration seized my chest and pressed me backward into my seat for that strange, in-between half moment that comes before finally you feel lifted.” Later, describing early, moonstruck arguments with her future husband, she writes, “When something sets me off, the feeling can be intensely physical, a kind of fireball running up my spine and exploding with such force that I sometimes later don’t remember what I said in the moment.” And after she’d taken up residence in the White House, she describes meeting high-school students in England that give her an intense, melancholy déjà vu. “Something inside me began to quake. I almost felt myself falling backward into my own past.”

In these moving passages, Obama locates the immensity of her emotions within her body—a marked contrast to the controlled, no-nonsense public figure she has been until now. These passages also differ from much of the rest of Becoming, which is told with the style and warmth of a fireside tale. Her story is paced indifferently—there’s twice as much text spent on campaigning for the 2008 presidential election as there is on the first six years of Malia’s life—and regrettably, the prose shifts between bloodless, campaign-trail professionalism and the language of empowerment found on daytime talk shows. What stands out are the moments when she describes how it all felt—from growing up in a cramped South Side apartment in Chicago to standing in front of more than 200,000 people the night that her husband, Barack Obama, was elected the 44th president of the United States.

In those moments, the miracle of Michelle Obama arises. She has a pedigree bristling with accomplishments: a Princeton and Harvard-educated lawyer who leveraged her degrees into a six-figure first job at a corporate law firm, Sidley Austin, before shifting to service-oriented work that emphasized community-building in her hometown. As First Lady, she dedicated herself to ending childhood obesity within in a generation, and in her book lists the many milestones she hit on the way to accomplishing that goal. But her physical being—her famous arms, her fashion, her smile—is also part of that living history. And in Becoming, Obama is so candid about that body—whether that is the in vitro fertilization treatments she underwent to conceive her daughters; the “everyday drain of being in a deep minority” at Princeton University, where, she writes, the black kids stood out like “poppy seeds in a bowl of rice”; or, especially, the “toppling blast of lust” she feels for 28-year-old Barack, the new first-year associate at her firm.

Obama’s romance with the charismatic native Hawaiian is one of the joys of Becoming —an opportunity to fall in love with Barack Obama from the perspective of the person who both knows him best and yet seems to be dazzled again by him daily. Michelle’s story is quite staid until Barack shows up to muck it up; in writing Becoming, Obama glosses over her years at Harvard Law to relate in minute detail the first few days and weeks of her acquaintance with her future husband. Love animates Obama’s prose; her parents, her daughters, and her husband each emerge from her book as vibrant, brilliant personalities, embellished with Obama’s eye for affectionate detail. That love saturates how she describes her neighborhood, too, beginning with her home on Euclid Avenue in the South Side of Chicago, and radiating outward to include the family and friends that live on the floor beneath her, around the corner, and along the two-minute walk to school.

But despite how close we get to her voice here, it’s never quite close enough. She lets us into all kinds of memories, including tender recollections, romantic dates, and triumphant moments on the campaign trail. But for all her candidness, there is still a veil of privacy around the inner workings of this reluctant public figure. She draws the reader in, but pauses at arm’s length. Maybe this is all we can expect, in text, from this woman with so much presence. As she says herself, she’s more of a hugger.

The first section of the book, “Becoming Me,” is the most thoughtful and well-written of its three parts. (“Becoming Us” is about her marriage; “Becoming More” focuses on her time as First Lady.) It takes nearly 100 pages before Barack turns up, which leaves ample room for Obama’s voice to form. She seems the most assured here, talking about her family life and her pride in her neighborhood, which almost overshadows the deep insecurities that affected her. Her father, Fraser, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in his thirties; he supported a family of four on his working-class paycheck from a city water-filtration plant. When she began kindergarten at her local school, it was a diverse student body; by fifth grade, her entire class was nonwhite, as illustrated by class photos included in the center of the book. As she entered seventh grade, an opinion piece in the Chicago Defender labeled her school as a “run-down slum” governed by a “ghetto mentality.”

She refrains from being more explicit about the effect this had on her, preferring instead to point to the squandered potential of the other children she grew up with. But in slipped details and collected asides—including some recollections of childhood that she doesn’t share until late in the story, when she is already First Lady—Michelle Obama constructs the full shape of the obstacles she was up against, both from external institutions and the learned limitations of her own mind. Becoming skips law school to spend pages on Obama’s decision to leave her unfulfilling job at Sidley Austin. It’s only then, decades into her life, that Obama begins to question how success has been defined for her, and how her parents’ sacrifices made her own passion seem irrelevant.

The preface, which sketches out the outlines of the Obama family’s new post-White House life, ends with the words, “And here I am, in this new place, with a lot I want to say.” It’s a thrilling way to start Becoming, and Obama indeed has a lot to say. But the book is more a compilation of memories than a memoir with thrust. The plot loops back upon itself and embellishes already trod territory with new, surprising, and valuable information. In a sense, it is an entirely honest methodology—a nonlinear narration of becoming, in which old memories take on new meaning as the self evolves. But, put another way, it’s just confusing.

Obama spends reams of text describing how devoted she is to her children—and how knowledgeable she is about policy, whether that is public health or childhood education. But she is still strikingly diffident about her accomplishments, describing herself in the epilogue as an “ordinary person who found herself on an extraordinary journey.” To be sure, Barack Obama changed the life of the young woman named Michelle Robinson when he walked into her office that summer 10 minutes late. But that woman was already exceptional—in skills, drive, and the rock-solid love she had for her family. If nothing else, it would take an exceptional woman to build a home life around what Barack Obama would toss in her lap.

Toward the end of the book, this seeming doublespeak becomes frustrating, but in a way relatable. Obama is a resistant symbol, having never sought out public life herself, but she was also cannily managing her public appearance years before she became First Lady, in that unconscious, everyday way that minority women are especially called to do. She writes that she spent the first year of her husband’s campaign rallying audiences without any media training or speech prep—and despite these handicaps, and what she describes as an aversion to public life, she earned the campaign nickname of “the Closer” for her continued success.

During Barack Obama’s second presidential campaign for president, she describes realizing the capacity of the First Lady’s power—“a gentle light, flattering the president with my devotion, flattering the nation primarily by not challenging it.” But years earlier, she had assessed enough about power to vet her fashion choices thoroughly, describing how her stylist, Meredith Koop, helped her choose outfits in the White House. She protests that she does not know much about fashion, even though, 30 pages earlier, she devotes a thoughtful paragraph to the fantastic Jason Wu number she wore to the 10 inauguration balls in 2008: “The dress resurrected the dreaminess of my family’s metamorphosis, the promise of this entire experience, transforming me if not into a full-blown ballroom princess, then at least into a woman capable of climbing onto another stage.”

Just a couple months later, Obama was on the cover of Vogue for the first of three times. And yet, she grumbles, “It seemed that my clothes mattered more to people than anything I had to say.” So which is it—the soft power of becoming a living symbol, or the protestations of not knowing much about politics? Sometimes Obama wants to have her South Side groundedness and her G20 poise at the same time, and it doesn’t quite work that way. We, the readers, have seen her work her magic; we have assessed her power already, or we would not be reading this book.

But perhaps this is the crux of Michelle Obama’s appeal—this pose of normalcy, amidst a life that is not at all normal. Early on, she insisted on a life that looked a certain way, and despite her “run-down” school and her working-class family, despite her fertility challenges and her confused career goals, she got it: security, family, home. And then, just a few short years later, when her family was elevated to a fabulous, unimaginable height, she focused on that same normalcy—a good education for her daughters, date night with Barack, two dogs to dote on. Barack is the dreamer, the idealist, the leader. Michelle—entranced, overwhelmed, concerned for her family’s safety, and finding comfort in a McDonald’s burger and a Target run—is more like the rest of us.

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Michelle Obama’s New Reign of Soft Power

By Doreen St. Félix

The pavilion outside the Barclays Center on Saturday afternoon was a world of naked want. Ticket holders bounced with frantic entitlement. Scalpers preyed on the unlucky. Police patrolled. Bomb-sniffing dogs sniffed. Michelle Obama’s “ Becoming ” global book tour had made a stop in Brooklyn and, three hours before the event was scheduled to start, a hundred giddy middle-aged women wearing dark lipstick tried and failed to skip past a group of giddy college-aged women in sweatshirts and Vans. A woman holding a Starbucks cup and a Michael Kors purse leaned on a barrier. Three times, she unclipped her Bluetooth from her ear and asked me the same question: “Sweetheart, do you have an extra ticket?”

“What chapter are you on? I’m on thirteen,” another woman, holding a teal umbrella, asked her friend. “Girl, you haven’t finished the book?” the friend replied, producing a copy of “Becoming” from her purse. Both advised me to read it, and if I had been able to get a word in edgewise I would have told them that I had.

Since Lady Bird Johnson, with the exception of only Pat Nixon, every First Lady has published a memoir. (Our most literary First Lady, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, never did.) Traditionally, these books, written in the language of women’s magazines, exalt the Presidential station. Obama’s was expected to be something different: she had more in common with Alice Walker than with Nancy Reagan, after all. Before there was a memoir by Michelle, there were literary love letters to her: thank-you notes in T magazine, in October of 2016, written by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie , Rashida Jones, Gloria Steinem, and Jon Meacham; a collection of essays, “ The Meaning of Michelle ,” written by prominent black women writers; millions of messages dispersed on social media in a time of political whiplash and despair. The memoir has been marketed as truth-telling and life-affirming, an artifact from a lost time of moral uprightness and elegance. Since its publication, on November 13th, it has sold more than two million copies.

What Michiko Kakutani wrote of “ Spoken from the Heart ,” Laura Bush’s memoir, also applies to “Becoming”: it is really two books in one, the first half detail-oriented and warm, the second starched and broad-brushed. The first sections, recounting Obama’s youth, ache with her sense of daughterly duty as she remembers the “striving” and the “dashed dreams” that lived with her on Chicago’s South Side, where her childhood was marked by the resource drain of white flight and the deteriorating health of her father. “Politics had traditionally been used against black folks, as a means to keep us isolated and excluded, leaving us undereducated, unemployed, underpaid,” Obama writes. She recalls her grandfather, who went by the nickname Southside, being so wary of the world that he thought even “the dentist was out to get him.”

Obama’s frankness regarding the media’s processing of her image is famous. In “Becoming,” she dwells often on a concept she calls the “American gaze.” She writes, “It was as if there were some cartoon version of me out there wreaking havoc, a woman I kept hearing about but didn’t know—a too-tall, too-forceful, ready to emasculate Godzilla of a political wife named Michelle Obama.” But her candor dissipates once we get past the reeling first year in the White House, where she knew that her “grace would have to be earned.” The summary of Obama’s White House initiatives relies on promotional language and well-worn anecdotes, and the book’s final pages are just a shade away from an overt advertisement for the Obama Foundation. The memoir’s “bombshell” revelations, which the media has projected as revelations of the female condition writ large—a discussion of Obama’s use of fertility treatment to conceive her daughters, and of a period of her marriage in which “frustrations began to rear up often and intensely”—belie how much the rest of the text withholds.

No matter, because, on the book’s cover, with a decade of work in the rearview, Obama smiles widely, and it’s her image we are most desperate for. Her glow has been featured on the cover of Elle, Essence, Good Housekeeping, People, and other magazines, and on the arena stages of her book tour, where she’s been accompanied by Tracee Ellis Ross, Valerie Jarrett, and, for the inaugural event, in Chicago, by her cultural godmother, Oprah. During her time in the White House, Obama grew into a symbol for rejecting the cool distance inherent to symbolism; she was the first First Lady to court an air of “relatability,” and she retained it even as she became one of the most popular Americans in history. Now “Becoming” is the heralding of her second coming, as an unprecedented, potentially billion-dollar American brand.

The quote of Obama’s that I think of most is a statement that was unimaginable before her reign: “I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves.” We were attracted to Obama’s patriotism because of its roots in world-weariness. Inside the Barclays Center, the lines that were emblazoned on tees, jean jackets, and onesies were the slogans of empowerment: “Work to Create the World as It Should Be”; “When They Go Low We Go High.” Around eight o’clock, as the arena’s tens of thousands of seats filled, an introductory video showed people, young and old, declaring who they were becoming (“a doctor,” “an influencer”). On the speaker system were songs from Bruce Springsteen, Stevie Wonder, and the “Hamilton” soundtrack. Impeccably dressed women consumed chicken fingers and red wine. The evening’s host, the poet Elizabeth Alexander, a longtime confidante of the Obamas, came onstage, riling up the audience for their star. “You may remember me from a very, very cold day in January, 2009, when I read my poem ‘Praise Song for the Day’ to enormous crowds on the Washington Mall as the nation inaugurated President Barack Obama,” she said. A folksy video collage of Obama’s life played on the Jumbotron while, in the darkness, crew members finally arranged the two blue chairs onstage.

In “Becoming,” Obama writes that, on the Presidential campaign trail, she grew tired of the “relentless, carnival-barker commentary on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News,” and that she treated herself instead to a “steadying diet of E! and HGTV.” One of her most common refrains is that she doesn’t care much for politics at all. But she is awesomely at home wielding the soft power of celebrity. From her chair, she wisecracked, chuckled, gestured with her arms. Seamlessly, she delivered stories that included lines of her book nearly verbatim, like one from the evening of June, 26, 2015, when she and Malia tried to evade the Secret Service to revel with the Americans celebrating the legalization of same-sex marriage on the White House lawn. Other times, she seemed less censored than she was on the page. Alexander asked her friend about the labor divide in her marriage. “Marriage still ain’t equal, y’all,” Obama said. “It’s not always enough to lean in, because that shit doesn’t work all the time.” The crowd roared. Her casualness felt natural and knowing. “I thought we were at home, y’all,” she said. “I was getting real comfortable up in here.” I found myself grinning uncontrollably, swept up in the ovations, surrounded by six screens emitting the Obama aura.

“He was late,” Obama said, of her first meeting with Barack, in 1989, when he was an intern whom Michelle was assigned to mentor one summer at Sidley Austin LLP, a downtown Chicago corporate firm. Their love story is now lore: a reluctant Michelle fell for Barack and his wanderlust, while Barack was grounded by her traditionalism. Barack’s ambitions crystallized into a Senate campaign, and then a Presidential one. “I relied on my girlfriends to get me through,” Obama said, of her friends in Hyde Park. Except for a mournful mention of the death of George H. W. Bush, stories from Washington were glossed over in favor of topics like work-life balance, exercise, raising feminist boys and girls. Alexander and Michelle giggled and side-eyed, comfortable in their “sister-girl” rapport. “Sometimes we as women miss out on good brothers because we’re too busy looking at the stats and we’re not looking at their story,” Obama said at one point, offering a bit of dating advice. One woman recording on her phone veered close enough to the section barrier that an usher had to remove her. Chants of “We love you, Michelle” rose up.

Before Michelle, it had been a long time since we’d had a compelling First Lady mythos. The fact that we saw ourselves reflected in the image of a brilliant, gorgeous moralist was enough to erase any preoccupation with the hypocrisies of the ruling class. Being mastered like that occasionally feels good; living under the light of Michelle still feels galvanizing. But the promotional machine of “Becoming” delivers a tonic that I can’t always swallow, a compulsive American optimism. Obama walked off the stage at Barclays to Beyoncé’s voice on “Shining”: ”Shinin’, shinin’, shinin’, shinin’, yeah / All of this winnin’ / I’ve been losin’ my mind.” Late in her book, Obama describes visiting a military hospital in San Antonio, where she enters a room to find “a broad-shouldered young man from rural Texas who had multiple injuries and whose body had been severely burned.” He was in clear agony, tearing off the bedsheets and trying to slide his feet to the floor,” she writes, and she understood that, “despite his pain, he was trying to stand up and salute the wife of his commander in chief.” Then, before we can contemplate this image of anguished patriotism, or the Obamas’ place in it, a new section of the book begins.

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Book Reviews

Michelle obama tells the story of 'becoming' herself — and the struggle to hang on.

Danielle Kurtzleben

In her new book, Becoming , former first lady Michelle Obama writes about the profound frustration of being misunderstood — of being pegged as an "angry black woman." She writes about the discomfort of being a hyperaccomplished woman only recognized through her connection to a powerful man. She writes about the power in telling one's own story, on one's own terms.

So it's perhaps a cruel irony that the first headlines about Obama's book have been about her anger at Trump. And that's because Trump, and Obama's accompanying contempt toward him, occupies a minuscule sliver of this memoir — a handful of pages, most of them toward the very end.

In fact, it's probably unfair to have mentioned him in the second paragraph of this review. Actually, let's just start this whole thing over.

You know Michelle Obama because of her husband. Michelle Obama knows you know her because of her husband.

She's fine with that — not that it hasn't taken some work.

EXCLUSIVE: Michelle Obama Reads From Her Forthcoming Memoir 'Becoming'

There's a point about halfway through her new memoir, just after she arrives in Washington, D.C., with her husband, the newly minted junior senator from Illinois, where Michelle Obama realizes how fundamentally her very identity is shifting.

"I'd been Mrs. Obama for the last 12 years, but it was starting to mean something different," she writes. "At least in some spheres, I was now Mrs. Obama in a way that could feel diminishing, a missus defined by her mister."

And that feels like a clear (if inadvertent) window into what she's trying to do in this book.

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Obama's new book is, first and foremost, a story about how she became who she is — a highly accomplished lawyer-turned-public-servant-turned-hospital administrator, a fiercely protective mother, a devoted wife — and then the story about the struggle to hold onto that identity, to maintain a semi-sane life, even after she agrees to let that life be hijacked by politics.

The first part of her book, and particularly the sections about her childhood and college years, is where Michelle Obama's writing shines brightest.

An early chapter about piano lessons becomes an extended, but subtle, exploration of privilege. A stunningly beautiful passage on spring cleaning mixes with reflections on her parents' marriage, and ultimately lands on the comfort in choosing, over and over, to stay with your partner.

In other words, this is one of those rare political books with truly excellent writing.

Unfortunately, crafter-of-immaculate-prose isn't Obama's only mode. Whether due to years in the political sphere or earnest concerns about American society, she often gets didactic, even social-science-y, in even basic descriptions of her life.

Another early paragraph describes the adult male relatives who populated her childhood, like the uncle who drove "an unlicensed jitney, picking up customers who lived in the less safe parts of the West Side, where normal cabs didn't like to go."

So far, so good. And then she slips into politician-speak: "These were highly intelligent, able-bodied men who were denied access to stable, high-paying jobs, which in turn kept them from being able to buy homes, send their kids to college, or save for retirement."

Author Interviews

Previously unseen photos of michelle obama illuminate 'chasing light'.

It's honest and assuredly accurate, but it sticks out. It's a stray piece of eggshell in an otherwise delicious bite of cake — your teeth hit it, and suddenly it's all you can think about.

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The first lady cultivates 'american grown' gardening.

Obama, in other words, is at her best when she's getting into the particulars of her story. Her description of the oasis she found in her fellow black students at Princeton more effectively conveys how isolating race can be than any of the more policy-focused sections of her book.

Childhood and college are only one-third of the book, though; Becoming is broken down into three sections, and the second ("Becoming Us") tells the story of her relationship with Barack.

It's this section where she can be the most bracingly honest, both in relaying the ecstasy of falling in love — "As soon as I allowed myself to feel anything for Barack, the feelings came rushing — a toppling blast of lust, gratitude, fulfillment, wonder" — and the rough patches that follow.

One of Becoming' s key themes is the difficulty of marriage — both in general and to the particular man she chose to marry.

Here, she goes far beyond cute campaign-trail lines about her husband's snoring and dirty socks, to show that her marriage could be downright maddening.

There's the part where, six weeks after their wedding, Barack announces he's going off to Bali for more than a month to finish writing Dreams From My Father , having missed the publisher's deadline for it.

There's her early "flicker of resentment" over her husband's all-consuming political career, followed by her frustrations over being "a working full-time mother with a half-time spouse." Not long after that, she and Barack go to couples counseling — reluctantly, on his part.

Michelle Obama Tells NPR She 'Never Ever' Would Have Chosen Politics For Herself

And Obama doesn't just write about the frustrations she and Barack felt with each other; she writes movingly about the pain of fertility problems, including a miscarriage. (Ultimately, she reveals, they conceived both Malia and Sasha via IVF.)

It's clear that the point of telling these stories isn't to dish. Nor is it to complain about her husband; ultimately, she paints a picture of a marriage that is fiercely loving, on both her part and Barack's part.

Rather, one gets the sense that Michelle Obama has grappled deeply — and is still grappling — with questions about what it means to enmesh two lives together. It's true that the Obamas' circumstances are rarified, but if anything, having her marriage be the focus of global attention has enhanced her perceptivity of the tensions every married couple faces.

There's more warmth and authenticity in this book than your average political memoir, but some of the magic dims in the third section of the book: "Becoming More," which deals with the Obamas' White House years.

Part of that may simply be that she experienced American political life along with the rest of us in that time: sorrow over school shootings, for example, or the tension of the 2012 presidential campaign.

But mirroring the constraints of what she could do and say as first lady, she is also restrained in her writing here. She doesn't question the world of the White House here the way she thoughtfully appraises 1970s South Side Chicago.

And while Obama is clearly passionate about her top causes as first lady, such as gardening with kids and meeting veterans' families, ultimately this is a section where Obama seems most like any politician, lapsing far more often into the policy speak that peppered the early chapters.

Which is to say: This is where her protective walls seem to go up.

The question is how miffed to get about this. On the one hand, Michelle Obama, like any former first lady, doesn't owe us any juicy details about her life. On the other hand, she is writing a memoir here, complete with a nationwide book tour.

At any rate, it's true that Obama is a thoroughly careful person anyway. She's the type who rehearses for weeks — weeks! — before doing carpool karaoke with late-night host James Corden.

The restraint she shows in the White House section may simply count as another instance — once again, perhaps inadvertent — of Michelle Obama showing us who she is.

And here's who she is, by her account: She's an obsessively hard worker. She's type A — intense and tightly wound. She's pragmatic, with fragile patience for the fussier trappings of White House life and the constant fretting over "optics."

She never lets herself make the same mistake twice: whether it's misspelling a word in front of the class in grade school or a hearing from a pediatrician decades later that Malia's weight is creeping a little too high, Michelle Obama sees a problem and goes into lockdown, nipping it all in the bud.

She's proud of being black and of being a woman, and she cares deeply about making sure other black women feel they belong in America.

And these may be the best reasons to read this book, after all: Fans of the widely popular first lady will get to know her at least somewhat better, to see an icon become more human.

As far as the parts of the book that make for sexy headlines — those are barely even there: She expresses her deep contempt for Trump but doesn't unleash any flaming tirades. And if you're wondering, she says she's not interested in being a politician herself ("I'll say it here directly: I have no intention of running for office, ever.")

But as for the attention those things are getting, one can't imagine Michelle Obama complaining too much. She's restrained. She's got other priorities.

Also, the optics would just be awful.

White House
Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama’s ‘Becoming’ Is a Book America Needs, From a Woman It Does Not Yet Deserve

W hen I first learned that Michelle Obama was writing a memoir , one word emerged from the depths of my gut: No!

That reaction came from a protectiveness conceived on Nov. 4, 2008, in my childhood home in Jackson, Miss. The election results had confirmed the impossible — America was getting its first black president. My mom paced the house, shouting her thanks to God. My 90-year-old grandmother shed tears. Gunshots sounded in my neighborhood, which wasn’t unusual — but this time, they were followed by shouts of joy. I sat in front of the television in pure disbelief as I watched the four Obamas appear on stage, our incoming First Family and even more than that, our first black First Family.

It was the kind of dream that I was sure I’d awaken from, or worse, the kind that would be stolen. I grew up knowing that America had a tendency to vilify those who represented me. America had a tendency of literally taking their lives. For eight years, as I feared the dream would come to a devastating end, I watched as everything from the First Lady’s facial expressions to her physique were used to either make her an “angry black woman” or insinuate that she wasn’t a woman at all. Racist caricatures of her were created for laughs, and racism veiled as political discourse tried to prove that the Obamas were “un-American.”

But Becoming , Obama’s memoir, proves that her story is far more American than any of her detractors may ever realize. It is the perfect blend of the American dream and the American reality. As Obama herself has done, her book is breaking through. For weeks now, the memoir has been a news event . On its first day alone, it sold over 700,000 copies. And now that the book is out, it feels like a nation-wide celebration of a woman who was once ridiculed simply for existing.

My reactionary no when I heard Obama was writing about her life really meant, please, don’t give them any more of yourself. They don’t deserve you . But one thing that Becoming quickly shows you is this: Michelle Obama does not let others define her, nor does she let them determine her actions.

Becoming is inspirational without trying to be. From the first words, the very warmth that permeates its author emanates from the pages. Politics play more of a background role, fitting since Obama makes it clear that the antics of D.C played a huge role in her life, but were not and are not her life. Instead, the book is conversational and welcoming. At times, reading it feels like spending an afternoon in a sunroom with a friend who is sharing her life story. She ties memories from her youth to the events that come later, so that while the reader knows how her story will unfold, she still makes every new development satisfying. At times, her stories overlap so it’s hard to grasp the timeline, but her style makes those moments feel like natural asides. Most of all, even with this coziness, Becoming never shies away from the uncomfortable realities of what it means to be a black woman in America, and more specifically what it means to be the first black First Lady of America.

Obama describes fond memories of her childhood in Chicago in such great detail that you feel as if you’re an honorary member of the Robinson family. But in the midst of those memories, she also discusses how white flight shaped her southside neighborhood and, in some ways, her childhood, creating an awareness that is forced on so many children of color at an early age; an awareness that would stay with her from South Euclid Avenue to Pennsylvania Avenue. Becoming shows how a black girl from a working-class family went on to thrive at Princeton, while still acknowledging the responsibility that many minority students feel to represent their entire race while attending such a prestigious institution. Even something as seemingly minor as speaking up in class carried the pressure of proving that she belonged. In this same vein, Becoming details the luxuries of living in the White House; the opulence and opportunities that very few are privileged to experience, yet Obama recognizes that for her family, the lens was zoomed in closer than on most.

This balance is the heart of the book. This balance is the America I know and that so many marginalized people know. At times, inequality seems as American as apple pie. Yet even while addressing some of the ugly truths, Becoming is never grave. The book’s power is in its ability to instill hope and optimism while maintaining honesty. It is “When they go low, we go high,” in literary form. Becoming manages to be a coming-of-age tale, a love story and a family saga all in one. More importantly, this book is a reminder that America is still a work-in-progress, and that hope can be an action word if we allow it to be. Becoming is a balm that America needs, from a woman America does not yet deserve.

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My Beef With Michelle Obama: Review of Becoming

I barely put Becoming down before I started in on the review, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I have a beef with Michelle Obama.

It’s unsettling because Michelle Obama is the Mary Poppins of real people to me. Practically perfect in every way. Intelligent, witty, courageous, empathetic, and dang… those arms! It was an honor to have her represent our country as First Lady of the United States, for about a million reasons.

So as soon as I could preorder her book Becoming , it was done. Take my money, all in. What follows here is my humble review of Michelle Obama’s book – the love, the fascination, and that pesky little beef.

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Becoming Entranced

First things first. I love Becoming . LOVE it. Like Michelle Obama herself, it’s also practically perfect in every way.

I went with the Audible version so I could take it on the road during my commute , and so that I could hear Michelle’s message in her own voice. It made me feel like we were besties going for a stroll. Which is also why I call her Michelle here. She told me it was fine.

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I was entranced by the history of Michelle’s life. The challenges, the joys, the deep reflection on both simple and monumental moments. At times her language is almost poetic, and at times it’s like you’re texting with your mom. Both styles meld so perfectly together to create a story of how Michelle Robinson became Michelle Robinson, and then Michelle Obama, and always Michelle.

And her story is far from over. She is still becoming every day. Becoming is in fact the perfect title for Michelle Obama’s autobiography because it’s not about how she became First Lady, but rather how she is still becoming who she will be tomorrow and the next day. She has been on a very relatable journey of creating herself, one that doesn’t stop when we “grow up.”

Becoming Joyful

There is one chapter of Becoming in particular that focuses on one of Michelle’s best friends, Suzanne. Suzanne was a woman full of joy, and a woman always in search of MORE joy. That was how she measured her life. If she wasn’t doing something that contributed to her happiness, she was out. Now this wasn’t in a selfish way, but rather a very purposeful “I want to live my life to the fullest” way.

During the course of their friendship, Michelle and Suzanne butted heads over the merits of joy and pragmatism, and they were both correct in their own way. I relate to Michelle’s collegiate desire to achieve and please, but I find I relate more now to Suzanne’s pursuit of happiness. Life is too short to miss out on the scary thing that could also bring immense pleasure to your life.

As you read Becoming , you’ll find that Michelle comes to this realization too and it makes her career path, and how she interacts with the world, make that much more sense.

Becoming #BFF

We’re getting close to the beef of this book review. But not yet. We’re still on the cheesy appetizer of my love for Michelle. In a way I’ll consider it a dose of self love because I found that with the exception of being First Lady of the United States and lifting weights, Michelle Obama and I share some rather specific similarities.

For one, we have the exact same piano recital story . It’s nearly identical. In Becoming she tells it with some beautiful ties to life outside the piano hall and creates a stirring metaphor about perfection and lack there of. I, on the other hand, tell it through the eyes of horrified parents and money washed down the drain. But other than that, same story.

Further, I was deeply moved by her experience with miscarriage and infertility. This is a part of my life I have chosen not to keep hidden because when I was in the depths of our pain, other family’s stories became my lifeline. I desperately needed to know that we weren’t alone. The Obama’s bravery in telling their story brought me to tears, as do every story of pregnancy loss or infertility. This line hit particularly hard – “Fertility is not something you conquer. Rather maddeningly there is no straight line between effort and reward.” I thank Michelle for using her platform to share this message of truth and solidarity.

I wish I could say I shared Michelle’s passion for fitness, but exercise and I have a more low key friendship with fewer burpees and more brisk walks. But Michelle and I do share an Alma mater, close brother/sister relationships, a bond as mothers of two, career paths that brought us to work in higher education, short stints in attempting the part-time work gig, AND extra long inseams.

I feel deep a connection to her, I’m PRETTY sure she feels it too.

Becoming Beefy

To tee off this notion of “becoming,” Michelle Obama starts the book by talking about how as a kid she told adults she wanted to be a pediatrician when she grew up. This was partly a real interest and partly a way to receive approving head nods from the adults on the other side of the question. Perhaps as a result of this experience, or a result of the swerves she has made and continues to make in her career, she feels that “‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ is a useless question to ask kids. It feels too finite.”

Now I completely get where she is coming from with this, I’ve been writing a lot on this topic myself. It’s more about what do you want to be when you grow up NEXT. Not a final destination. And as part of that “what,” you are also deciding “who.” But I have to argue that I do find distinct value in the “what do you want to be when you grow up?” question for kids.

This particular question offers an opportunity for adults to encourage children to imagine what their future could look like. It offers a chance to go exploring in the mind, think about your interests, and dream without restriction. I ask my kids this question all the time, encouraging them to think of ALL the things they could be or want to be. I asked it as a camp counselor too. Kids need support and genuine interest from adults to build their futures. That seems to be the furthest thing from useless to me, both as a parent and a career coach .

Read Fun and Inspiring Career Exploration Books for Kids

Michelle Obama has spent much of her career encouraging young people to see new possibilities for their futures and chase their dreams. She has touched millions of lives with her optimism, leadership and candor. Perhaps that’s why I reacted so strongly to the notion that “what do you want to be when you grow up?” is a useless question. Because I don’t know if she really means it. And next time Michelle and I hang out, I think I could pretty easily convince her of my point of view. Hey Michelle, text me.

Becoming a Treasure

Overall my beef with Michelle Obama’s book Becoming came down to a single word, “useless,” in a book of 100,000 words. So even as a lover of words, I’ll try not to get too hung up on one.

At the end of the day, I not only think this book is special, powerful, and exceptionally written, I also think it is important. It’s an important view into the world of a woman who grew up “having nothing, or everything, depending on how you look at it.” It’s an important reminder of the humanity of our nation’s leaders and the rich histories they bring to the roles, our country’s racial divides, and the pressures on working moms. And it’s an important testimony to the value of holding strong to your principles, owning your story, and embracing the journey of becoming.

Becoming is a gift to be treasured. Thank you, Michelle Obama, for putting Becoming into the world. I, for one, am better for it.

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Becca, your review of “Becoming” by Michelle Obama was riveting. So much so I read it twice! Currently, I am on Chapter 18, so thanks for leaving some mystery in the outcomes. I appreciate the glowing remarks you made explaining your appreciation for Michele and her story. I also grew up in Chicago, and little did I know, but I lived on the very next block on 75th and Euclid, down the street from her and her family. I had no idea that our paths could have crossed. I’m older than she is by 5 years. You are a prolific storyteller in your own right. Thanks for sharing,

Vanessa Church

Thank you so much for your kind words, Vanessa! That’s amazing you lived so close by. What a cool fun fact! Again, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the rest of the book.

I am currently listening to this book. I usually can listen to one or more books a weekend, but I couldn’t with this one. The first third of the book dragged so much that I debated giving up on the whole thing. As a 67 year old Black woman, I found a lot of it so familiar that it was boring. It wasn’t until she met her future husband that the book became interesting to me. I found the differences in their personalities, dating, marriage, life in politics, and time in the White House fascinating. I was surprised at how resentful she sometimes sounds in the recorded book. I often think that author’s are better served when others record their material. With Michelle Obama, the hurt that still lingers comes across in her tone rather than her words. I’d give this book a B-

I find the title of your review to be eye catching, and that’s exactly what you were going for. However, to say you have beef because of one sentence in the book and the to praise the rest of it… seems for show rather than well-thought out. I hope as a writer you take this critique mindfully. I’m not here to bash you, but to you question your motive for such a tasteless… or useless… title.

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Becoming Audio CD – Unabridged, November 13, 2018

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Print length 20 pages
Language English
Publisher Random House Audio
Publication date November 13, 2018
Dimensions 5.05 x 1.59 x 5.83 inches
ISBN-10 0525633677
ISBN-13 978-0525633679
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Publisher ‏ : ‎ Random House Audio; Unabridged edition (November 13, 2018)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Audio CD ‏ : ‎ 20 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0525633677
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0525633679
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.05 x 1.59 x 5.83 inches
#1,042 in Books on CD
#1,372 in Black & African American Biographies
#4,564 in Women's Biographies

About the author

Michelle obama.

Michelle Robinson Obama served as First Lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017. A graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School, Mrs. Obama started her career as an attorney at the Chicago law firm Sidley & Austin, where she met her future husband, Barack Obama. She later worked in the Chicago mayor's office, at the University of Chicago, and at the University of Chicago Medical Center. Mrs. Obama also founded the Chicago chapter of Public Allies, an organization that prepares young people for careers in public service.

The Obamas currently live in Washington, DC, and have two daughters, Malia and Sasha.

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Barbara Walters Did the Work

In “The Rulebreaker,” Susan Page pays tribute to a pioneering journalist who survived being both a punchline and an icon.

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The image portrays a seated Barbara Walters in 1976, wearing a striped lavender and pink cardigan, with a microphone clipped to the shirt.

By Lisa Schwarzbaum

Lisa Schwarzbaum is a former critic for Entertainment Weekly.

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THE RULEBREAKER: The Life and Times of Barbara Walters, by Susan Page

Much of the material in “The Rulebreaker: The Life and Times of Barbara Walters” has been told before, with persuasive narrative control, by the late television journalist herself in her dishy 2008 memoir, “Audition.” Don’t let that stop the reader of this thorough, compassionate biography by Susan Page: It’s a valuable document, sobering where “Audition” aimed for sassy.

If anything, the 16 long years between autobiography and biography endow the two books, taken together, with a memento mori gravitas for any student of Walters, or of television journalism, or of the past, present and future of women in the TV workplace — or, for that matter, of Monica Lewinsky. More on her in a moment.

Walters called her autobiography “Audition” to emphasize the need she always felt to prove herself, pushing her way to professional success in a world that never made it easy for her. Nearly 80 then and still in the game, she acknowledged that personal contentment — love, marriage, meaningful family connections — lagged far behind. She wrote of being the daughter of an erratic father, who bounced — sometimes suicidally — between flush times and financial failure as a nightclub owner and impresario.

She told of her fearful mother, and of the mentally disabled older sister to whose welfare she felt yoked. She wrote of the three unsatisfying marriages, and of her strained relationship with the daughter she adopted as an infant.

She breezily acknowledged the ease she felt throughout her life with complicated men of elastic ethics like Roy Cohn and Donald Trump. She leaned into her reputation as a “pushy cookie.”

Page, the Washington bureau chief of USA Today, who has also written books about Barbara Bush and Nancy Pelosi, tells many of the same stories. (“Audition” is an outsize presence in the endnotes.) But in placing the emphasis on all the rule-breaking Barbara Jill Walters had to do over her long life — she died in 2022 at 93 — the biographer pays respect to a toughness easy to undervalue today, when the collective memory may see only the well-connected woman with the instantly recognizable (thanks to Gilda Radner’s “SNL” impression) speech impediment.

There was no one like her — not Diane, not Katie, not Judy, not Connie, not Gwen, not Christiane. Not Ellen. Not Oprah. Having created her niche, Walters fought all her life to protect it. Because no one else would. Would that be the case today? Discuss.

“At age 35,” Page writes, “she had finally found her place, a space that bridged journalism and entertainment and promotion. Traditionalists viewed the combination with consternation. She ignored their doubts as she redefined their industry. She saw herself as a journalist, albeit of a new and evolving sort. In some ways, she would make herself a leader in the news business by changing what, exactly, that could include.”

Walters broke rules to save her father from debt and jail. She broke rules to secure on-air status — and salary — equal to that of the often hostile men around her. Walters broke rules to land scoops, gain access and bag interviews.

The account of the driven competition she felt with her fellow TV journalist Diane Sawyer is both fun and silly/sad in its evocation of a catty rumble: Isn’t such competition the everyday reality of the bookers working for the famous men who currently host late-night talk shows? Aren’t those late-night hybrids now the closest thing we have to influential news interviews — except, perhaps, on the women-talking daytime show “The View,” invented in large part by Barbara Walters?

Walters didn’t break rules to get the first on-air interview with Monica Lewinsky — she just worked her tuchis off, from the day the news of an affair broke to the night of March 3, 1999 — watched by 74 million Americans.

Walters was nearly 70 and famous; Lewinsky was a private 25-year-old woman whose affair with her married boss had thrown a country into hypocritical hysterics. The process of establishing trust could not be rushed.

The older woman asked the younger woman a chain of tough questions about sex and intimacy and character and judgment that no human should have to endure on national television. The younger woman answered with a dignity currently out of fashion both in celebrity self-presentation and on the floor of the U.S. Congress.

In the quarter-century since that extraordinary event — the essence of a Barbara Walters Interview — Lewinsky has demonstrated an inspiring power to live on her own terms and not on the assumptions of others. The achievement required rules to be broken, and has come with a price.

Barbara Walters knew what that was like.

THE RULEBREAKER : The Life and Times of Barbara Walters | By Susan Page | Simon & Schuster | 444 pp. | $30.99

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5 Strategies for Improving Mental Health at Work

Morra Aarons-Mele

Benefits and conversations around mental health evolved during the pandemic. Workplace cultures are starting to catch up.

Companies are investing in — and talking about — mental health more often these days. But employees aren’t reporting a corresponding rise in well-being. Why? The author, who wrote a book on mental health and work last year, explores several key ways organizations haven’t gone far enough in implementing a culture of well-being. She also makes five key suggestions on what they can do to improve the mental health of their employees.

“I have never felt so seen.”

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Knife by Salman Rushdie review: living to tell the tale of being saved by love

Knife is surprisingly upbeat for a book about being stabbed in the head.

Salman Rushdie: leaning into his role as a poster-boy – ‘’A sort of virtuous liberty-loving Barbie doll, Free-Expression Rushdie”. Photograph: AP

On August 12th, 2022, the British author Salman Rushdie was about to speak at a literary event in upstate New York when an attacker stormed the stage and stabbed him 15 times . That he survived this onslaught was thanks in large part to the courageous intervention of several audience members, who managed to subdue the attacker within 30 seconds. And a dose of good fortune: “You’re lucky that the man who attacked you had no idea how to kill a man with a knife,” his doctor observed.

The attack happened more than 30 years after the Iranian government issued a religious edict or fatwa calling for Rushdie’s assassination because it deemed his 1988 novel, The Satanic Verses, to be blasphemous. Rushdie lost an eye, but lived to tell the tale – quite literally, in this new memoir.

Near death was “an intensely physical experience”, and some of the details are grisly. The stricken eye, dangling from its socket, resembled a soft-boiled egg; Rushdie, who was aged 75 at the time of the attack, was placed on a ventilator, which felt “like having an armadillo’s tail pushed down your throat. And when it was removed it was like having an armadillo’s tail pulled out of your throat.”

His six-week hospitalisation, during which he underwent life-saving surgery and gruelling rehab, was an ordeal: he endured painful, intrusive procedures, and suffered horrible side effects from drug treatments; the hallucinations brought on by strong painkillers were a small upside.

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Later on, Rushdie was puzzled to learn that his assailant had arrived at the venue with not just one knife but a whole bagful. “Did he think he might pass them out to the audience and invite them to join in?” The suspect, a young man in his twenties, is currently awaiting trial. Pondering his possible motives, Rushdie breaks off from first-person narration and imagines a series of conversations between himself and his would-be killer. In this fictional vignette, reprising Rushdie’s customary magical realism, the assailant is portrayed as a credulous simpleton whose fanaticism is driven by loneliness and sexual frustration; he was radicalised online, by a YouTube preacher called “Imam Yutubi”.

Knife is surprisingly upbeat for a book about being stabbed in the head. As a lifelong atheist, Rushdie doesn’t believe in miracles as such, but a sense of deep gratitude – to the cosmos, if not a deity – is palpable in these pages. He pays touching tribute to his wife, the poet and novelist Rachel Eliza Griffiths, and expresses thanks for the messages of support he received after the attack: “I have no doubt at all that the love coming toward me – the love of strangers as well as family and friends – did a great deal to help me come through.” This is the soppy lingua franca of traumatised survivors, be they ordinary folk or Booker-winning wordsmiths – because sometimes, the cliche is the mot juste.

Early on in the book, Rushdie insists he doesn’t want these events to define him. For too long, his status as the beleaguered bête noire of religious zealots overshadowed his work as a novelist. “I have no intention of living in that narrative any more,” he declares. At first, he felt little desire to write about the attack, but his agent talked him round, and eventually he became convinced it was necessary – “my way of taking ownership of what happened”. By the end of the memoir, we find him adopting a rather serene, so-be-it attitude to the whole business, leaning into his role as a poster-boy – ‘’A sort of virtuous liberty-loving Barbie doll, Free-Expression Rushdie”.

Knife ends with a brisk recap of the Enlightenment principles which Rushdie holds dear. His 2022 address to a United Nations PEN America gala, in which he railed against the “dishonest narratives” underpinning Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, is reprinted here. He also calls out the “bigoted revisionism” of right-wing populists from Donald Trump in his adoptive country, the US, to Narendra Modi in the country of his birth, India. He proposes, quite sensibly, that “if we could simply make the distinction between private religious faith and public, politicised ideology, it would be easier to see things as they are and to speak out without worrying about offended sensibilities”.

This is welcome, as far as it goes. On the big, black-and-white questions that separate liberals from outright reactionaries, Rushdie is beyond reproach. But what of the more complex issues – the ones that pit liberals against liberals? One wonders, for example, if Rushdie has a view on US academics being fired from their jobs for expressing opposition to Israel’s actions in Gaza. On such questions, he is above the fray. It falls to a new, younger cohort of dissident writers and intellectuals to fight those battles.

Houman Barekat

Houman Barekat, a contributor to The Irish Times, is a writer and critic and founding editor of the journal Review 31

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Sophie Grégoire Trudeau says family life with PM post-separation 'gets messy,' but they have each other's back

New book, closer together, explores building 'emotional literacy' in difficult times.

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Sophie Grégoire Trudeau's new book isn't going to have the "gossip" that some people may be seeking about the end of her marriage to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

"I've met enough humans in my life to know that, yes, some will be trying to sniff out the gossip … [but] there's not much to sniff out, to be honest," Grégoire Trudeau told The Current .

"I'm in a family and I'm raising my kids, and I've had, you know, a partner where sincerity, open conversations, difficult conversations, are at the core of who we are as a family.

"I feel that this space of calm inside me, most people sense it. And the ones who don't, well, it's OK. I can't control that."

Grégoire Trudeau and the prime minister announced their separation last August, after 18 years of marriage.

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau played 'huge’ role in PM's career, reporter says

Canada does not have an official role of First Lady in the way that countries like the U.S. do, but nonetheless she became the spouse of a world leader when Trudeau's Liberals were elected in 2015.

It's not a role that she significantly identifies with.

"People were asking me, 'How is it to be the wife of a prime minister?'" she said.

"And I was like, 'What are you talking about?' Like, I'm just Sophie G. in the house. I'm staying the same person."

A book cover featuring a picture of Sophie Grégoire Trudeau embracing two people, with the words: Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other.

Book explores emotional literacy

Her new book, Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other , came out Tuesday.

Part memoir, part self-help guide , the book's press release says it invites readers on a "deeply personal journey toward self-knowledge, acceptance and empowerment." It's the first of a two-part book deal with publisher Penguin Random House. The second one will be a children's book, expected next year.

Grégoire Trudeau said the book was finished and submitted before the split was announced, and she wasn't tempted to update the manuscript with any details.

A timeline of the Trudeaus' personal and political moments

The former couple have three children, Xavier, 16, Ella-Grace, 15, and Hadrien, 10. Grégoire Trudeau said the separation has been a learning process for them as a family, but she believes you "don't have to slay a relationship in order to restructure it."

"We are still bound by respect and love, and we have each other's backs and minds and hearts," she said.

"Sometimes it gets messy, like, you know, in all family life. And it should be, because it kind of makes us appreciate the better times."

Grégoire Trudeau started her career as a reporter and TV host in Quebec, and in recent years has worked as a public speaker and mental health advocate. She founded her own communications company, Under Your Light Communications, in 2022.

She interviews a range of experts in the book, from addictions and stress specialist Dr. Gabor Maté to Canada's Governor General Mary Simon. One of the topics she explores is emotional literacy, which she described as "emotional leadership."

"It means being aware of why we feel the way we do, how we can intervene on our own emotions and how we can cope better with stress and anxiety."

She acknowledged that finding that emotional equilibrium can be difficult when people are facing major crises, from climate change to political polarization to economic inequity.

But she added that she meets people every day who are working hard to address those problems, well outside the political realm.

"[They make] sacrifices in their own family, devotion to service, to helping each other to create more justice in this world," she said.

Anger directed at PM Trudeau

The prime minister spoke with The Current earlier this month, and was asked about the polarization that has become apparent in Canadian politics — particularly in flags and stickers bearing the words "F--k Trudeau."

The Liberal leader said there's "a level of polarization and toxicity" that is visible in both social media and real life these days, but it doesn't represent all Canadians.

PM on waning support and 'F--k Trudeau' flags

In the book, Grégoire Trudeau writes that her children have seen those slogans, as well as posters of their dad standing on a gallows in front of an executioner. She also writes about attempts to physically harm the prime minister, and that it's hard "to think that your kids might not be or feel secure in the midst of all of this."

She told The Current that the rhetoric saddens her.

"It makes me sad to see that people, you know, have so much anger and fear, and that we have been taught in many ways to direct that anger and that fear at one person."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Padraig Moran is a writer and digital producer for CBC Radio’s The Current, taking great stories from the airwaves to our online audience. He started his journalism career in Ireland primarily covering arts and entertainment, then spent five years at The Times of London in the U.K., before joining the CBC when he moved to Toronto in 2017. You can reach him at [email protected].

Audio produced by Alison Masemann

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Becoming by Michelle Obama
Becoming by Michelle Obama is published by Viking (£25). To order a copy for £15 go to guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over £10, online orders only.
Becoming by Michelle Obama
The book's 24 chapters (plus a preface and epilogue) are divided into three sections: Becoming Me, Becoming Us, and Becoming More. Become Me, traces Obama's early life growing up on the South Side of Chicago, through her education at Princeton University and Harvard Law School, to her early career as a lawyer at the law firm Sidley Austin ...
Michelle Obama's Becoming review: An honest, sharp memoir
The book's first third, "Becoming Me," is dedicated to Obama's upbringing in '60s Chicago and her educational development. It can drag, progressing like so many memoirs of its type.
Becoming by Michelle Obama
Book Review: Becoming by Michelle Obama. Becoming by Michelle Obama is one of the most powerful memoirs ever written. It is not an inspirational one nor a controversial one not even a political book of secrets - the book's strength lies in it's simple candid ring side view of a stellar life of a woman of great importance.
Becoming by Michelle Obama review
In Becoming - the first book that tells her story from her own perspective - she reveals that her life is a form of alchemy. Her childhood, growing up on the South Side of Chicago, is recalled ...
Isabel Wilkerson on Michelle Obama's 'Becoming' and the Great Migration
BECOMING By Michelle Obama Illustrated. 426 pp. Crown. $32.50. ... Each week, top authors and critics join the Book Review's podcast to talk about the latest news in the literary world.
Becoming by Michelle Obama: Summary and reviews
Book Summary. An intimate, powerful, and inspiring memoir by the former First Lady of the United States. In a life filled with meaning and accomplishment, Michelle Obama has emerged as one of the most iconic and compelling women of our era. As First Lady of the United States of America - the first African-American to serve in that role - she ...
In 'Becoming,' Michelle Obama Mostly Opts for Empowerment Over Politics
Nov. 9, 2018. For anyone who's wondering: No, she's not running. In her new memoir, "Becoming" — a book whose reportedly enormous advance rendered its contents almost as closely guarded ...
BECOMING
BECOMING. An engrossing memoir as well as a lively treatise on what extraordinary grace under extraordinary pressure looks like. The former first lady opens up about her early life, her journey to the White House, and the eight history-making years that followed. It's not surprising that Obama grew up a rambunctious kid with a stubborn streak ...
All Book Marks reviews for Becoming by Michelle Obama
The New York Times Book Review. Becoming is refined and forthright, gracefully written and at times laugh-out-loud funny, with a humbler tone and less name-dropping than might be expected of one who is on chatting terms with the queen of England. One of Obama's strengths is her ability to look back not from the high perch of celebrity or with ...
Becoming by Michelle Obama, review: 'An honest endeavour'
6 things we have learned from Michelle Obama's new book 'Becoming' This could be - up to a certain point, of course - anyone's story, notably any black woman's story.
Review of Becoming by Michelle Obama
This is a fabulous, informative and uplifting book. I always had a good impression of Michelle Obama and this book enhanced it. I felt that Michelle really shared herself with her readers and offered an intimate look at her life (Lois I). This review first ran in the December 4, 2019 issue of BookBrowse Recommends.
In the Best Moments of Becoming, the Miracle of Michelle Obama Arises
Becoming, the Miracle of Michelle Obama Arises. In her debut memoir, Michelle Obama—ever the reluctant symbol—sometimes struggles to reconcile her extraordinary accomplishments with the ...
Michelle Obama's New Reign of Soft Power
Doreen St. Félix reviews Michelle Obama's best-selling memoir, "Becoming," and writes about the former First Lady's recent appearance at the Barclays Center, in Brooklyn, for her book tour.
Review
Becoming surprised me with the scope it covered and the detail that it went into. It was a lovely window into the life of a public figure that I initally thought that I didn't need to know more about. Thankfully I was proved wrong. Michelle Obama writes well with warmth, humour and purpose. The honesty and clarity was refreshing. It's a great read, expertly read by the author which gave an ...
Michelle Obama Tells The Story Of 'Becoming' Herself
Michelle Obama Tells The Story Of 'Becoming' Herself — And The Struggle To Hang On The former first lady's new book is a story about her history, how that influenced who she is — and learning ...
Michelle Obama's 'Becoming' Mixes Honesty With Optimism
The book's power is in its ability to instill hope and optimism while maintaining honesty. It is "When they go low, we go high," in literary form. Becoming manages to be a coming-of-age tale ...
Becoming (book)
Becoming is the memoir by former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama, published on November 13, 2018. Described by the author as a deeply personal experience, the book talks about her roots and how she found her voice, as well as her time in the White House, her public health campaign, and her role as a mother. The book is published by Crown and was released in 24 languages.
My Beef With Michelle Obama: Review of Becoming
Becoming a Treasure. Overall my beef with Michelle Obama's book Becoming came down to a single word, "useless," in a book of 100,000 words. So even as a lover of words, I'll try not to get too hung up on one. At the end of the day, I not only think this book is special, powerful, and exceptionally written, I also think it is important.
Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Becoming
"Becoming" is a bittersweet read, but excellent nonetheless. After finishing it (I even read the acknowledgments!) I closed the book and cried for a bit, allowing myself to wonder for the first time how different my illness might have turned out if the GOP cared even 1/100th as much as the Obamas did and do about the wellbeing of ALL Americans.
BOOK REVIEW: 'Becoming' by Michelle Obama
BECOMING. By Michelle Obama. Crown, $32.50, 426 pages. We call them first ladies but, for the most part, they are second-hand celebrities. Famous for being somebody's wife, usually trapped in a ...
Becoming: The Sunday Times Number One Bestseller
"A serious work of candid reflection by a singular figure of early-twenty-first-century America . . . Becoming is refined and forthright, gracefully written and at times laugh-out-loud funny." —Isabel Wilkerson, The New York Times Book Review " Becoming is inspirational without trying to be. From the first words, the very warmth that permeates its author emanates from the pages. . . .
Becoming: Obama, Michelle, Obama, Michelle: 9780525633679: Amazon.com
"A serious work of candid reflection by a singular figure of early-twenty-first-century America . . . Becoming is refined and forthright, gracefully written and at times laugh-out-loud funny." —Isabel Wilkerson, The New York Times Book Review " Becoming is inspirational without trying to be. From the first words, the very warmth that permeates its author emanates from the pages. . . .
Book Review: 'The Rulebreaker,' by Susan Page
Don't let that stop the reader of this thorough, compassionate biography by Susan Page: It's a valuable document, sobering where "Audition" aimed for sassy. If anything, the 16 long years ...
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5 Strategies for Improving Mental Health at Work
The author, who wrote a book on mental health and work last year, explores several key ways organizations haven't gone far enough in implementing a culture of well-being. She also makes five key ...
Knife by Salman Rushdie review: living to tell the tale of being saved
Knife is surprisingly upbeat for a book about being stabbed in the head. As a lifelong atheist, Rushdie doesn't believe in miracles as such, but a sense of deep gratitude - to the cosmos, if ...
World Book Day: Good Reads About Sustainability And Business ...
AFP via Getty Images. World Book Day, celebrated globally on April 23rd, to promote reading and publishing, is a perfect occasion for reflection and learning, especially on topics that impact our ...
Sophie Grégoire Trudeau says family life with PM post-separation 'gets
Sophie Grégoire Trudeau's new book, Closer Together, is out Tuesday. Part memoir, part self-help guide, it looks at emotional well-being in today's world.
Kid reviews for Twisted Love: Twisted, Book 1
Twisted Love: Twisted, Book 1. Sooo, I agree this book is definitely not for kids, but I think the age at which you could read this depends on the person. I know a twelve year old that read all the book in this series, which is not something that I'd personally recommend. But I also don't think that everyone has to wait to be eighteen read this ...