how to describe beaten up in creative writing

7 Ways To Write A Damn Good Fight Scene

• by Bronwyn Hemus
• January 21, 2014
• 79 Comments

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Fight scenes are the single hardest character interaction to write. Many authors who know their craft in every other respect can’t write a fight scene to save their (or their hero’s) life. But don’t despair. There are a few strategies you can use to ensure you write the kind of fight scene that grips a reader from start to finish. Let’s take a look at seven of them…

1. Detail is a dirty word

It’s a general rule in writing that you should leave as much to the reader’s imagination as you can, and this is doubly true for action scenes. The choreography of the fight may be exact in your head, but you can’t force readers to see the same thing.

While describing a fight scene is a great way to paint an accurate picture, it’s not a great way to communicate a compelling experience. A lot of poorly written fight scenes read like this:

I stepped back, balancing my weight on my left foot, and threw my right fist out in a curved punch at his temple. Turning ninety degrees to the side, he brought his right forearm up to counter the blow, formed a fist with his left, and threw it at my outstretched jaw. I was in trouble.

This might be exactly what you imagine happening, but the excessive stage direction stretches the moment out, turning a frenzied series of blows into a dissection of body language and intent. This fight feels slow, and that feeling is paramount – if your reader is instinctively bored by a fight, you can’t convince them it was exciting by describing more of it.

Instead, let them know the outline of the fight and they’ll imagine the rest. Counter as it is to a writer’s instincts, ‘they struggled’ paints a far more vivid picture than describing the exact position of each combatant’s arms.

So, if you’re not describing what your characters are doing, how do you communicate the action?

2. Pace is everything

Intensifying the pace of your writing can communicate the immediacy and suddenness of conflict. Short, simple sentences keep the reader on their toes. Fights happen quickly and your description needs to match that. In The Princess Bride , William Goldman writes a brilliant sword fight, and perhaps the most enjoyable fight scene ever put to paper:

The cliffs were very close behind him now. Inigo continued to retreat; the man in black continued advancing. Then Inigo countered with the Thibault. And the man in black blocked it.

Each sentence is short, the written equivalent of a sudden move. Every time a new person takes an action in this passage, Goldman starts a new line, making the reader encounter each attack as a sudden, vital event.

This ‘new line’ technique is pretty cheesy – it works for Goldman because his story is a deliberate homage to adventure yarns – but short, to-the-point sentences are a must for any fight scene. Clarity is important in many areas of writing, and it’s not something to wish away in a fight, but the energy of a fight scene is more important than its details, and that comes from pace.

Of course, pacing works best when it’s combined with perspective.

3. Perspective defines experience

It’s difficult to communicate excitement when you describe something objectively. This is another reason that hovering around the fight describing the actions of both characters limits how gripping the experience can be. The key is to thrust the reader into the thick of the action, and to do that they need to experience the fight through a character.

That’s not to say that you have to suddenly adopt the first person. In Gregory Mcdonald’s Carioca Fletch , the protagonist attempts to get his bearings as he is set upon by unseen assailants. Mcdonald mimics this experience for the reader by having longer passages between the single sentences of violence:

Instead of looking who had pushed him, Fletch tried to save himself from falling. The edge of the parade route’s pavement shot out from under him. Someone pushed him again. He fell to the right, into the parade. A foot came up from the pavement and kicked him in the face.

The writing, and thus the reader’s experience of events, conforms to Fletch’s experience: the attempt to right himself interrupted by sudden acts of violence. You can also write to match the perspective of the attacker: there’s something especially brutal about a villain methodically taking an opponent apart.

The opposite can also be true

Of course, as with all the advice in this article, there are reasons to do the exact opposite. Mimicking perspective leads to a more energetic, visceral experience, which tends to make a fight more compelling, but perhaps you want the opposite. A detached, distanced perspective saps the energy and involvement from a fight, but if you’re trying to horrify the reader rather than energize or entertain, this is a valid technique.

For instance, a ‘cool’ fight would benefit from a close perspective, whereas an upsetting beating would likely benefit from distance. In this way, there are few ‘bad’ writing techniques – just different effects that either work with or against your intent for a scene. Keep in mind that your actual first step to improving your fight scene is understanding how you want your reader to feel about it.

4. Verbs not adverbs (and avoid passive voice)

Energetic fight scenes demand brevity, and adverbs are the opposite of that . Instead of ‘Adam hit him hard in the chest, again and again’ use ‘Adam pounded at his chest’.

The occasional adverb might have its place, but you want the punch of the sentence to come with the character’s action, not lagging after it.

There are a few exceptions. Variations on ‘She hit him. Hard’ have currency because they’re purposefully simplistic. They embrace guttural simplicity to communicate that same quality in the action, but this trick only works once before you start sounding like a caveman.

Why the passive voice won’t work

A similar technique to avoid is the use of passive voice. This is where the person or object performing an action is absent from the sentence in which it happens, as in ‘he was kicked in the face,’ where the person doing the kicking isn’t mentioned.

This is a technique you’ll see in a lot of news coverage, since it deliberately saps energy from an otherwise startling event. In a story, however, it’s the most roundabout way to communicate an action, and it’s best avoided. Even when the attacker is unseen (and therefore can’t be named), Mcdonald goes for ‘A foot came up from the pavement and kicked him in the face’ as opposed to ‘he was kicked in the face.’

Try to err on the side of ‘person, action, effect,’ since this most closely recreates the experience of watching things in real time. Agency – a person’s ability to effect the world around them – is a huge part of compelling fight scenes, and the passive voice is all about ignoring agency.

5. Sensory information is relatable

Another reason description doesn’t work in fight scenes is that immediate, physical situations aren’t characterized by a heightened degree of analytical thought. In contrast, physical situations do tend to come with a lot of sensory information. The taste of blood, the ringing in their ears, the ache of their injuries.

Evan Hunter wrote fantastically brutal fight scenes by stating a simple, physical act and then following it up with evocative sensory information:

He pulled him to his feet, almost tearing the collar… He heard the slight rasp of material ripping.

That description, from his short story collection Barking at Butterflies , adds more physicality to the encounter than any physical description could.

Sensory information is also more relatable to readers. Not everyone has been held up by the collar, but everyone has heard fabric tear and tasted their own blood. You can summon incredibly detailed information through these minor descriptions: the pull needed to tear a collar is something most people can appreciate, so they understand the violence of the grip without ever consciously considering it.

6. Make the result clear

The opposite of writing a fight scene, but something worth considering in many cases, is to skip the violence entirely. It depends whether you’re trying to provide action or communicate violence, but for the latter this can be incredibly effective.

Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club isn’t about fight scenes or action, but communicates physical violence fantastically:

I asked Tyler what he wanted me to do. Tyler said, “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

At this point a new chapter begins:

Two screens into my demo to Microsoft, I taste blood… My boss doesn’t know the material, but he won’t let me run the demo with a black eye and half my face swollen from the stitches in my cheek.

Here, we don’t get any details of the fight, don’t even have it confirmed that a fight took place, and yet the visceral nature of the missing scene is more powerful because of it.

You don’t have to skip the fight completely, but remember that you can create a powerful sense of what’s happening by referencing the results. While the reader can’t call to mind the exact experience of the fight on the page, fear of injury is something everyone understands.

7. Context is key

The written word is capable of many feats other types of media can’t match, but one thing it isn’t is visual. This matters because a lot of writers take their fight-scene cues from visual media, attempting to mimic the visual bombast of movie shootouts or martial arts.

In a movie, it’s easy for a fight to be impressive all on its own. We can see the people taking part, appreciate their emotions, witness their speed and flexibility, even wince at their pain. In books, fights don’t bring so much of their own context, and if a reader doesn’t understand who is fighting, why, and what the consequences will be, they’re far less likely to be thrilled.

Your fight scene as an action scene

It’s useful, in this sense, to understand your fight scene as just one type of action scene, similar to chase scenes , arguments , and even sex scenes . These scenes are interesting because they’re interactions with consequences, and those consequences are usually what makes the action exciting.

If Character A is chasing Character B, the scene is fine enough. If we know the stakes of Character B escaping, the scene is much better. If we care about Character A and Character B, and have a preferred outcome to the chase, now the scene matters.

Without context, the most an action scene can hope to be is titillating, and it’s unlikely to achieve even that. Many first-time authors begin their stories with a fight scene because it’s the most exciting thing they can think of, but without characters or stakes, it’s hard to be excited by this non-visual style of action.

If you want to write a fight scene, make the stakes clear to your reader and make sure they care about at least one person in the fight. Otherwise, you’re just trying to ‘show’ them something they can’t see, which is what drives a lot of authors to fall back on all the harmful techniques we’ve already covered.

Fight for your write

So, those are our seven tips for writing great fight scenes. Choose pace over detail, don’t get bogged down by adverbs and passive voice, draw on sensory details and results as needed, and give the reader the context and perspective they need to get invested.

What other tips do you think writers should know when dealing with fight scenes? And what is the best fight scene you’ve ever read? Let me know in the comments below.

If you want to work at a larger scale, check out How To Write An Epic Battle Scene , and I also recommend Everything You Need To Know About Writing Fantasy Weapons and What You Need To Know About Writing Injuries for more insight on this topic.

Bronwyn Hemus

79 thoughts on “7 ways to write a damn good fight scene”.

I find that writing from my own experiences help the flow. I got beat up a lot in elementary school. when I write a fight scene, I focus on the emotional aspects ad well. the rushing flow of my blood as rage sweeps through me. the nauseous wave that cramps my stomach as pain ripples from my jaw from rock hard hit. It helps me to place myself in the heroes shoes and try to feel, physically and emotionally, what the hero would.

I’m sorry to hear you had that kind of experience but it’s great that you’ve taken ownership of it and used it positively in your art.

I think you’re completely right about linking the sounds and physical experiences of injury to the emotional experience of it. When you have a personal experience of this kind it can be applied to many different stories; no matter how outlandish the conflict the resulting physical and emotional reactions remain the same.

Best wishes, Rob

Yes, less is more, exactly: even in fight scenes. I especially enjoy your examples, like Palahniuk’s one. Very interesting article, fight scenes fit with fantasy novels, which are my favourite. Thanks

Hi boostwriter,

Thanks very much. Fight scenes do seem particularly at home in fantasy novels, often as part of a larger ‘battle’ scene. Battles are incredibly difficult to write, and often done best through smaller fight scenes that represent the battle as a whole.

ha ha that part about cavemen x) i read a start to a book whose cover was very interesting, but it was written in caveman the whole first paragraph and it aggravated me so much that i didn’t give a unicorn about the story, i just closed the book and looked for a new one. Indeed, all of your points are spot-on and very helpful. Thank you, please keep posting =) Best wishes!

Thanks so much for your feedback and kind words. Yes, caveman style gets old very quickly. There’s also the fact that, generally, starting a book with that kind of action tends not to work. People are keen on it because it’s common (and works) in movies and television, but that’s because action is visceral and thrilling to WATCH. When we read action scenes more of our reaction comes from the context – we worry about a character we like getting hurt – than the action itself. Consequently if a book begins with action that might grip us if we cared about the characters, the gap between how we feel and how the author wants us to feel becomes very apparent.

I am writing a screenplay and led beautifully into a fight scene, but I came to a dead end when it came to the writing the scene itself. So, I didn’t write it at all 🙂 Here’s what I ended with: note: Ben was kicked out of a fictional high school gang called The Boys. Most names are standing names, not finalized.

The Boys arrive at an open field, the gang The Saints are waiting. Ben, in bandages and on a crutch, limps past The Boys. The Boys freeze in shock at his arrival.

BEN (to the Saints): Your two best against me decides the fight.

SAINT ALEX: The Saints don’t make deals with The Boys.

Ben cracks his neck and throws down his crutch.

BEN: Good thing I’m not one of them.

Two Saints sprint toward Ben, one two steps ahead of the other. Ben engages. A single blow. First one down. Impact. The second tackles Ben with brute force. They land with an audible thud.

CUT TO BLACK, FADE TO:

Ben wakes up in a hospital bed. His breath is shallow, his face swollen. Ben wares more bandages than clothing. Ben rolls his head and looks at the table next to him. A note on the table beside him reads: “You saved our asses. Thanks -The Boys” Ben smiles.

Leaving room for the actors and the director to choreograph a fight scene is a great idea when writing a screenplay, and even translates to novels – the reader is a fantastic director, you just need to give them enough information to play out their own idea of how it happened.

A warmth filled johns belly. It trickeled down his leg. “Have I pissed myself again?” Johns legs went numb as he sat down in the grass. His sword became heavy so he let it slip his grasp. “No one can know I’ve pissed myself again.” A shriek rang down from above.John stared into the cloudless sky. He knew that sound. The cry of an emperial falcon.He had seen many of them during his training at the battle camps. He promised his mom, a lover of winged creatures, he would buy one for her. The bird faded from his vision, but he continued searching for it in the greysky which he could have sworn was blue moments ago. A faint sound crept up from behind the young boy. “amazing, I can hear the flaping of your wings great bird.” A shadow slowly grew in front of john. A grin surfaced beneath the dried blood on John’s face. “ve never had a bird fly so close.” A thumping sound filled johns ears as theshadow began moving. Johns vision began to blur. “are you flying away great bird? Please take me with you.” Cried the boy as the ground raced towards his face. He felt a strange peace as his vision blackened. John smiled as he envisioned flying away towards his mother’s cottage. Slowly his eyelids lowered and he flew away from the nightmare of war.

Can u tell me what you think this scene is about. I try to evoke the readers emotion without being direct. I’m practicing lol. Want to be a writer, one who makes people cry, cheer, throw my book at the wall in anger and pick it back up again in curiosity.:)

it’s about a boy who dies after fighting in a war?

Would you say these same tips apply for fights that are rather supernatural? Eg. One with a trident vs someone weaponless that doesn’t stay down

Hi Rebekah,

In a word, yes. The style of writing is meant to evoke the threat and pace of the situation, so it would be applicable to the kind of fight you describe.

Hi Antonio,

I read it as a death on the battlefield scene, a soldier reflecting on his life before the conflict.

i am looking forward to writing one… https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/36246660-mayday

All my books include at least on fist fight between two people who know little about fighting (or at least one knows little.) One or both characters are afraid of fighting and generally will do just about anything to avoid getting in a fight. You tips are very helpful. I failed at the less is more rule in the beginning, but caught on and I think those scenes are not only strengthened, but easier on the reader. I find spending a bit more on the characters experience with the unexpected adrenaline rush, emotions, fears and anger is better. I actually received some feed back from readers who felt for the characters who were more or less trapped into a fist & wrestling fight. That my characters are mostly not skilled in fighting helped win reader sympathy. I managed to stay out of fights, though as human nature goes, I was very close to not being able to get out of close encounters as a teen and young adult. That experience of fear, trepidation, excitement along with some degree of wanting to hit the other person I wanted to bring out in my characters.

You’re right, those visceral feelings are really compelling and the reader is far more likely to back a character who’s been forced into a fight. I think one of the best ‘trying to avoid a fight’ scenes is Romeo and Juliet, act 1 scene 1. The whole idea of bravado versus the reality of injury is really strong, especially in the hands of directors like Baz Luhrmann. If you haven’t seen the opening scene of Romeo + Juliet (by which I mean the 1996 movie) I’d recommend it as great research.

Well Im writing a mystery novel with a touches of paranormal themes. My books always have an immense focus on fights because of the violent nature of one of my characters. I am having trouble with these because I personally have never been very descriptive in my writing. But this Article really helped me understand more of what to do and how to write them. Thanks

I’m really glad this article has been useful to you. Don’t give up on trying to nail your fight scenes – it’s a genuinely difficult subject to get right.

So i have attempted to use this guide to write my first battle scene i will actually use in a story if its ok i would love abit of feedback.

[This scene has been removed by a moderator. Please don’t post entire scenes into comments. For extensive feedback on your writing please refer to our editing services .]

Thanks in advance

It’s really gratifying that you’ve got such immediate use out of the article, so thanks for sharing this part of your story! You’ve completely understood what I was writing about, and all the techniques described are used to great effect in your writing.

If I was going to suggest anything it would be more sensory information in the final section – the more you can put the reader in the cramped, deafening midst of battle the better. Also a proofread would be necessary before including this in a larger work, to catch any errant spelling or grammar issues.

If you want feedback on any more of your work, or to talk more about your story, please feel free to contact me via //www.standoutbooks.com/contact/ .

Hi, I’m writing a fantasy novel and I’m trying to give my character a specific fighting technique. Basically I’m in love with Japanese style Niten Ichi-Ryu, a style that uses both the katana and the smaller wazitashi and I want my character to use this technique. But since it’s set in a fantasy world that knows nothing about Japan or another other country, how would you incorporate it? Or should I just leave it out altogether? The fighting style that is?

Hi Bexter08,

There are a few options for how to handle the fighting style you’ve mentioned. First of all, you could have the character use the style, but not refer to it as Niten Ichi-Ryu – either not naming the style or else inventing an in-world name for it. Second of all, you could simply use the correct name and brazen it out – fantasy worlds are full of terms that can’t realistically, linguistically have developed there (‘katana’ is one of these), and with confidence and skill it’s possible to win the reader over to accepting them. This option would be made easier if the narrator refers to the style by name, but it’s not used in dialogue. Thirdly, you could use the English translation (which I believe is along the lines of ‘the school of the strategy of two heavens as one’), or some variation of it. Finally, you could lose the style altogether, but that would be a shame over what’s a tricky but minor issue.

My advice would be to keep the style and give it an in-world name. This could be a variant of its translated name (‘the school of two heavens’, for example), or a new term that works in your world. The only drawback to the latter option is that those familiar with the style may feel irritated, as if you’re trying to pretend you’ve made it up. This could be solved with a note in the foreword – ‘the style used by _________ and referred to as _________ is Niten Ichi-Ryu’ – or by somehow referencing its actual name – perhaps the person who taught it to the character/the place where they learned it has a name that’s phonetically similar to the style. ‘Nyten’/’Niton’, for example.

I hope that’s useful.

Dear Robert.

I am in amidst of writing a story, and a lot of fight scenes are potentially involved. In regards to leaving much of it to Reader imagination and keeping pace … What if the fight was written like boxing commentary? Think that would work due to short and fast paced that is in real life?

Trying to find that balance between what I would like the reader to see versus what they will conjure up. Got some intricate stuff in mind and I do not want to lose all of it. Thanks for writing this article! It has come in handy. We need more like it.

That sounds like an interesting device – would the narrator be the ‘commentator’, or would one of the actual characters be describing what took place?

It would be the narrator. That way not all the choreography would be lost if done right.

Thanks again.

Sounds like a smart device. My only recommendation would be to ensure you lay the groundwork for that device before jumping into it, so it doesn’t feel forced in execution.

Hello Robert.

I must say, that I find your advice spot on. In my writing I have used all of these techniques – but I wish I had read your advice first – it would have saved me a bloody lot of time. Instead of hammering it out for myself, I could’ve relied on your expertise.

The think there maybe one exception to you words of wisdom: space battles (yes, I know. I am one of those). The quiet majesty of space I believe requires more description rather than less. The vivid scenes of destruction with lasers and missiles and plasma beams play well against the void of space. That being said, I have also finished off ships and their entire crews in a short paragraph.

I am most curious. Although this is a bit outside the parameters of your well-written article, what are your thoughts on fights between vessels, (sailing vessels, modern warships, tanks, starships) both terrestrial and non?

I would like your

Thanks for commenting – I take your point about space battles. Description can lead to detachment in fight scenes, but as you say, sometimes that works well with the sterility and isolation of space. An odd example, perhaps, but the videogame ‘FTL’ is about minutely managed space battles, and the bare-bones story really works with that approach – you’re on the run from a much larger force, adrift in hostile space, so knowing every little thing that can go wrong heightens that narrative tension.

As far as battles between machines of war go, I think the key is to focus on individual experience. You can, of course, write about tank vs. tank and armada vs. armada (you can write about anything, with enough skill and drafting), but it’s usually more effective to communicate that battle via the experiences of a single crew member. A huge indent being punched into a tank’s wall, or someone burning their hand on a gun that’s been rattling off rounds, can convey the experience of this type of fight without getting lost in technical details.

It’s not a perfect example because there are visual aspects to the medium, but Garth Ennis’ ‘War Stories’ comic book series does this really well. For him, it’s all about the individuals, but he also uses their relationship to their vehicles to anthropomorphize tanks and planes. There’s one story where a huge tank takes on a sort of ‘monster’ role in the story, emerging from the undergrowth just when the protagonists think they’re safe. Certainly a good place to start if looking for examples.

Okay, so my story is about superheroes and villains. Also, I don’t really like short fights but I understand I shouldn’t have 5 pages of fighting. How could I make the fight seem longer but use less pages?

Also, grammar question, can the whole fight be in one paragraph or no?

Thanks for your questions. You can make fights feel longer in a variety of ways. One really effective device is to cut away for a while – perhaps to a character witnessing the action from afar, or someone elsewhere. This lets the fight keep going while the reader is ‘away’, allowing you to extend it for however long suits your needs. In a similar vein, showing the consequences of the fight – the collateral damage – can add to the perceived duration, as the reader has to justify how so much damage has been done.

You can also sidetrack the reader with a few details. If your characters topple a building then let them fly away for a moment, but stay with the building, describing how people escape and how it eventually falls down completely. This is a combination of the devices above, and works as a kind of illusion for the reader – if such a passage is presented between when the fight starts and when it ends, the reader will include it in the duration of the fight afterwards, even if it was really more of an aside.

You could also break the fight up over time – having the fight begin, flashing back to its cause, and then rejoining it – again, this stretches out the reader’s perception of how long the fight has been going on.

In terms of directly witnessing the fight, there are fewer options. As tempting as it can be to show the reader a huge, prolonged fight scene, they rarely translate to the less visual medium of writing. Really, the only thing that justifies a huge fight scene is making the reader really, really want to see the outcome – having built up the animosity between the characters, or the desire to see one of them bite the dust. That kind of build-up takes time, so it’s probably only going to be possible to ‘earn’ two such fight scenes in a story.

Whether the whole fight is in one paragraph or not depends on your writing style and the way you’ve treated paragraphs elsewhere. That said, it would be unusual to turn such an action-heavy scene into a single block of text. We’ve got an article on paragraphs coming up soon, including when it’s best to break them, so that should answer your question in more detail.

hi my names alexis im wriitng a 30,00 word novel for nation novel writing weak im in 8th grade and this is what i got so far————————. The loudness of the room was getting louder and louder until everyone knew that there was gonna be a big huge staring contest that was going to happen during lunch. But when Michaela arrives with Elizabeth they sit down in the chairs that were blue, clean,shiny,and had a new smell to it but those blue shiny chairs where by the cafeteria table that they were sitting. All the sudden they see that Maddie was already there with her boyfriend and her friends,which they didn’t care. but when Michaela and Elizabeth discovers that Maddie, her boyfriend, and her friends are staring at them, and they immediately get mad at maddie so Michala and Elizabeth start staring at them and maddie saw that they were staring back so maddie gave michaela and elizabeth weird looks. And everyone out of nowhere was just staring at Michaela,Elizabeth,Maddie,her boyfriend,and her friends. But as soon as they left the cafeteria it was really quiet but when everyone left the cafeteria, they said there was staring contest, but no fight.

Thanks very much for sharing your NaNoWriMo writing. I’m afraid it’s had to be cut down, as we can only accomodate so much text in the comments. Beginning writing so young is a sure path to future brilliance, so congratulations on your work and be sure to keep at it.

Hello Mr. Wood I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I had a question. I’m now writing a fantasy book where the characters can influence gravity around them and practically fly/jump great distances at great speeds. I’m now struggling in a scene where one of the characters is chasing a bad-guy (who also has those powers). How can I write a chase scene that doesn’t actually get boring? Would really help if you’d share some advice on this matter. Thanks

Thanks for the great question. I think the key thing to keep in mind is that a chase isn’t inherently interesting. Almost no physical competition is – it’s the potential outcomes that interest the reader, and then the chase (or fight, or race, or argument) becomes interesting for how likely a specific outcome seems at any given moment.

To that end, the key to a great chase scene is how worried the reader is that someone will be caught/will get away. Every stumble or shortcut makes one of those outcomes more likely, and that’s something to keep in mind when writing them. This should guide what you focus on – is someone feeling tired, is there an obstacle coming up, is there a point the character can reach where they’ll be impossible to catch?

All the tips above apply – keep it basic, let the reader choreograph the scene, and keep your focus as the author on potential outcomes. As the reader, all the excitement and intrigue of a chase scene comes from who’s going to win. Strip away incidental dialogue, set-dressing, and anything that isn’t about that. Also, try to vary which outcome seems more likely. If it feels like a character is about to be caught and they escape, or it looks like they’re about to get away and then they stumble, that’s the moment where the reader’s heart really starts beating.

Hope that’s what you were looking for.

Hello Mr. Wood

I need advice how to write an aerial, ground and naval battles. When I’m writing a fight scene it look simple and doesn’t excite the readers. This caused me to lose motivation on writing a decent story if I can’t excite the readers.

I’m currently writing two story. The first one is where a large military base was transport to a messed-up fantasy world where magic exists. They trained the peasants to fight against their tyrannical rulers and the corrupted nobles. The second one is a massive denizens went to the another world but find out that the world is controlled by a corrupted Empires so they decided to start a bloody world revolution.

I have a wild imagination so I want to write a good fight scene.

Hi Michael,

Thanks for your comments. In terms of writing huge battles, I’d suggest utilizing some of my advice to Edward (above), and also keeping your eyes peeled, as we have an article on writing battle scenes in the pipeline that should provide more comprehensive information.

In your particular case, though, I’d suggest caution. You say that your scenes fail to excite readers, and I wanted to check that this conclusion is a result of consulting with beta readers. The reason I ask is that there’s a definite tendency to overwrite fight and battle scenes for authors, specifically because it’s impossible to get down on paper the complexity and scale that’s in their heads. Feeling that a scene doesn’t live up to the vision can lead authors to scrap something that’s working.

The key is not to try and chase the vision – to write in such a way that the reader is brought in as a partner, filling in details and choreographing their own most exciting scene. I think in most cases I’d argue there’s no way to write an objectively great battle scene (by which I mean a battle scene that, in and of itself, grabs and excites the reader regardless of everything else about it). Instead, it’s about building up the context of the battle beforehand, communicating it as a web of individual experiences, and leaving space for the reader. As with any action scene, it’s also advisable to focus on the potential outcomes. For example:

A scene where 127 men are blown up = boring. A scene where 127 men are blown up, but where the reader knows that 400 men will be needed to storm a fortress, and there are only 568 left = tense and exciting.

Really, it’s about making the reader do math on the fly. They need to know the ‘win’ and ‘lose’ conditions and then understand every event as a new variable. That way, they’re constantly thinking ‘oh no, now they’re more likely to lose’ or ‘that means they COULD still win’. Once you’ve got that, then it’s time to dress it up a little so the whole process seems a little more natural and less like an equation – battle estimates provided through a commander figure via dialogue rather than narration, taking enough time over a moment that it doesn’t feel perfunctory, that kind of thing.

I hope that’s useful, and please let us know what you think of the battle article once it’s up.

Hello and thank you. I’m writing a story that I most say is writing itself. But two of my characters have been snipping at each other for so long and the testosterone has finally hit its boiling point and there is no alternative, they have to duke it out. I have never written a fight scene. Your blog was the first one to catch my eye in google search. Thanks to you I now know how to proceed. I love the idea of putting the five senses in instead of description. Show don’t tell 😉 I’m very excited.

Fantastic, I’m really glad the article was so useful. I’ve also written specifically on sense writing, and have included a link to that article below:

//www.standoutbooks.com/sense-writing/

I dread battles… I hate them. For some of my earlier attempts I relied on character emotion but seeing as how I’m writing the last book of my series right now though, I am under alot of pressure to offer a lot of action especially since the whole series is leading up to this final fray. I’ve been building the action/tension through small skirmishes for the last while but I will admit it is wearing me down. My fear now is that my reserves will run dry and spoil what I hope to be an awesome climax. One thing I do find to my benifit is that, over the course of seven books, I was able to introduce a wide variety of characters slow enough for the readers to form a strong relationship with them all. Whenever I do tackle the final battle, having so many characters (I don’t know if it’s a good practice) it allows me to write several mini battles in the war, jumping between the characters I use that as my primary tool to offer more action/longer battles. Keep in mind though, this whole jumping between characters style I subtly introduced in book one and by book two I was using it constantly so my readers are used to that style. I find it helps keep the action up so if a character is doing something boring like learning or traveling etc I usually always have another engaged in more entertaining tasks. Just offering a tool that helps me… I wish I could say the same with battles though. I’m hopeless when it comes to them. 🙁

Hi Breanna,

Thanks very much for your thoughts, and a method that will help other writers with their stories. I’m happy to say we also have some advice specific to battles – I’ve included the link below.

//www.standoutbooks.com/write-epic-battle-scene/

Thanks Rob that made my day, it’s nice to know that I was able to offer something of use thay may help someone. I did check out the resource you offered, it is certainly informative. I find I need reprieves between the action both for my creative juices to recover and rest from the high points but also it is in these breaks that I bring back purpose of these fights, whether it is the character navigating the dungeon, redefining what he was looking for or regrouping after an ambush I need these lulls, they are my pillars of grounding, a chance to remind myself and readers what we’re there for. I’ll offer a quick example specific to my plot. Like with Harry Potter, my main character is the Chosen One destined to fulfill a prophecy. They are right now camping near the dark city assembling siege weapons preparing for the fight. The Bad Guy, so to speak, gets this bright idea that if he is able to kill the Chosen One this battle won’t happen and the lands will remain shadowed so he sends an ambush, waits for the main character to be seperate from the main army gathering wood for instance and then attacks. (High action scene) though the catch is that the ambush is made up of undead to increase the chances of the ambush being successful (it was only called off because the leader of the ambush was human and died properly telling his men to retreat). So now, in a lull the main character realises that there are undead he must face in the battle and is talking with any one he can trying to find a way to defeat them else every good folk will be killed by them. I am sorry it’s a bit long but again the ambush had purpose, it created further conflict forcing the Chosen One to adapt. I see no reason to add action with no purpose. One of my first writing lessons was that character and plot are so intertwined remove one and the other falls apart. For a good story they must alter each other in some way. On the flip side I remember reading this novel (which wasn’t very memorable) and in it there was one quote I recal rather vividly as it offers a perfect example of what not to do; Character One: “…we are battling, do you love battles?” Main Character: “Sure I love battles, who are we battling exactly?” Hope I helped.

Thanks for the great examples. I promise not to reply to everything you post with another article, but you reminded me of something we posted on ‘eulogizing’ characters prior to their deaths (though it works just as well for places or even states of being, like innocence or love). It works exactly as you say – in the lull – and lends the forthcoming battle meaning and poignancy.

//www.standoutbooks.com/how-to-kill-character/

Heres one im proud of about a barbarian sort of character winning a duel

The axe came downward and cut through the man’s right shoulder stopping at the first , second , third rib. The man inhales , no air comes back out. The bull puts his foot under the blade and with a single motions pulls it out , dragging a gore of dark flesh and pale organs out with it

Hi MadBull,

Thanks for sharing! There’s definitely some excellent stuff in there – ‘first, second, third rib’ is compelling writing. One thing I would suggest is that ‘came’ isn’t doing enough work for you, at the moment. A more descriptive verb such as ‘sliced’ or even ‘swept’ would tighten this up, and maybe even do enough work to take the place of the whole ‘came downward and cut’.

I’m working on writing with elements that I haven’t read about in a book before, attacks that haven’t existed before (at least in what I’ve been exposed to). Is it harmful to provide a lot of information about the way a person attacks if it is cerebral or indirect. I don’t want my audience to see the play by play, but I want to give them the resources, so when they inhabit the flesh-suit of my characters, they experience combat the way my characters are designed to.

The rule of thumb is that the form of action writing should match its content – if the fighting is meant to be fast-paced and violent, the writing should be staccato. It’s therefore fine to write detailed, cerebral action, but that’s likely to then be the way the reader experiences it. This can work for balletic, graceful action, but it means the reader is unlikely to worry about the character in the same way that brisk writing encourages.

One technique that might work is to write some early, cerebral stuff, to cover the key ideas for the reader, and then move towards more intense fight scenes later.

I’m revising my chapters, I write in deep pov, (or at least I try hard too,!) so yes “the man” is actually needed as she doesn’t know who he is. xD anyway, this has some action to it.

How is this?

The man walked down the darkened hallway, the candles on the wall reflected off of the blade of a thin long handled battle axe that he welded in hand like one would a wand. Maybe Olnenus would grant some luck for a change and he’d miss… that thing surely was flimsy. His features were hidden in the deep hood as he came up to the cell door. She quivered with the pressure struggling to keep from lunging, sweat wet her palms. This had to be a joke right? He’s so tall and skinny, honestly, Kar should’ve sent down someone with more oomph! Still all the better to get out fast. Thank you, Olnenus!

He unlocked the cell door it creaked as he pushed it open, a shining stand of curly red hair fell out from the hood, a hawk like nose jutted out before those hateful green eyes.

The pot clattered as it dropped, she backed away everything was sour again, must have displeased Olenus again. “Damn you Kar.”

He grinned, rolling the axe in his hand, it shrunk and thinned back into a wand. “Good morning pet, not amused hum?” He giggled that freaky giggle again.

A cold streak ran up her neck, she suppressed a shiver. “I won’t be mocked!” She lunged at him, her arm pulled back into a sweaty fist, aiming for his adam’s apple. That’ll shut him up.

Hum.. dialogue still needs work, well, never mind I think the action stuff is better so thanks. ^-^

One more time.. He grinned, rolling the axe in his hand, it shrunk and thinned back into a wand. “Good morning pet, want some kibble?” He giggled that freaky giggle again.

(To lame? or funny? I think it’s hella funny, though my humor is a little odd and might not work for others. Sigh.)

Thanks for sharing – there’s some great, engaging narration in there. If you’d like detailed feedback on a project, you can click the blue button in the top right of the page to contact us directly.

Thank you, you’re kind to say that! I’ll check it out. 🙂 Though, it’s probably too early to have it evaluated yet.

Hello, Mr. Wood? I am a 14 year old aspiring author. So far, my only means of writing my stories is by school-provided computers and/or smart device. Anyways, I am currently writing a story about a group of aliens that crash-land on Earth. These aliens have supernatural abilities, such as cryomamcy and reality warping. There is about to be a fight scene between two aliens. (It should be noted that these aliens have horns that are extremely sensitive to any contact.) One of these aliens has the ability of electrokinesis, while the other has the ability to possess others. Also, their height is very uneven, one being 5’10, the other being 5’2. What do you suggest for this type of scene? I apologize if there was too much to read! I can get a bit wordy at times.

Hi Rebecca,

Thanks for commenting. It really depends how you want the scene to play out – for example, is either of these characters the protagonist, or are nearby civilians how the reader sees things unfold?

The articles below should be useful; the first is about writing battles, which might be useful when one character can be multiple people, and the second is about the characteristics that readers expect from certain fictional weapons, including types of magic and supernatural powers.

//www.standoutbooks.com/write-epic-battle-scene/ //www.standoutbooks.com/writing-fantasy-weapons/

Sir, I want a little bit help in writing a fight scene between my characters who have powers in fire and water.

Hi Adyasha,

I think the article below should be useful in thinking of ways to characterize and write supernatural powers:

//www.standoutbooks.com/writing-fantasy-weapons/

I’ve looked everywhere for an example of a good old fashioned bar/pub shootout. I’m writing a screenplay and originally I planned on just showing the aftermath of said shootout, but I thought why not show it? However, I’ve never written one. You wouldn’t write it like a fist fight or a cage match… so, what’s out there that would be a good model? My mind is blank!

Great question – thanks for commenting. I think a lot of the bare bones logic of a fight scene remains – there are still ‘moves’, ‘reactions’, and a need to contextualize consequence – but shootouts are often more about tension than one constant ‘fight’. The articles below should help with that, and for inspiration, I’d suggest most anything Tarantino.

//www.standoutbooks.com/10-facts-tell-how-use-tension-your-story/ //www.standoutbooks.com/george-orwell-writing-advice/

I do not completely agree. Sometimes the use of detail is helpful because you want to lengthen a particular part of a scene rather than shorten it. You want your readers to get stuck on a certain, and realize how important it is. Rather than have it pass quickly with not as much thought. Right?

Obviously, with art, there are barely any absolute rules. Most advice is more along the lines of what is likely to create a certain effect than what absolutely has to/can’t be in a certain scene. So, yes, there are lots of occasions where you’d want to use detail to lengthen a moment, but that technique is still likely to sap momentum, and therefore to make the fight less visceral and compelling.

It’s like saying ‘don’t stick your hand in a lion’s mouth’ – it’s USUALLY true, but if you WANTED to get your hand bitten off for some reason, it would no longer apply, even though the actual logic (that it’s an action that will get your hand bitten off) doesn’t change in itself. A more applicable version might be ‘try to use speech identifiers or it will be unclear who is saying what’. Good advice usually, but applied differently if you’re in the rare situation of actually wanting the reader to be confused about who is speaking.

Of course, creating art creates such ‘rare’ situations with surprising frequency. The shorter version: absolutely, there can be a benefit to deliberate use of detail, but that benefit should still be weighed against the drag it imposes on the surrounding action.

I am not very good at writing the actual fight part of it, I use a lot of detail and I have been told I am good at arguments. I am not sure where to go with my battle though. I am at the climax of my story and the antagonist is supposed to die. Both of my characters in the fight have magical powers. The Protagonist can use shadows to give her energy to fight things and can shape the shadows to do certain tasks like lift her up into the air or burn out torches. My antagonist uses light for energy and counters the shadows but I am not sure how to write it. This is what I have so far:

[Comment shortened by moderator]

From there I am not sure where to go. The father is supposed to die, I am thinking that somehow he needs to be absorbed by the orb of light so that the protagonist’s town doesn’t crumble, but I do not know how to get there does anybody have any suggestions?

I apologize; I’ve had to cut down your comment to keep our comments section manageable. If you’d like detailed feedback from an editor, I recommend our manuscript critique or editorial consultation services.

As for general advice, I’d suggest the article below, which discusses using the assumed ‘character’ of weapons to write them consistently. It’s something easily applied to types of magic.

Hello! This article really helped me with a part of the book I am writing, and just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed it! If I could add one thing, it would be (if the fight is written through first person, or an omniscient) Is the characters thoughts, what has helped me a lot is to not just making it a physical battle, but emotional as well, ie, “He is saying something to me, but I cannot hear it over all the angry voices in my own head. Suddenly, I forgot my own pain, and lunged forward. I slammed into him vehemently, he tumbles back and crashes into the wall. I begin pummeling his chest and neck with my fists, screaming and ranting. My hatred for him, and what he did, is powering each blow…” (A recent segment from what I’m writing) I guess this really wouldn’t apply to everyone though, and would really depend on what your writing. Again I really enjoyed reading this, and your article has helped my writing improve so much! Thank you!

Hi Equinøx,

Great point – a character’s mental state should definitely be part of a great fight scene. A lot of authors leave emotion at the door when the action starts, but it can prompt a lot of decisions that are otherwise hard to justify (plus, it’s interesting in its own right.)

What a useful resource! I’ll be checking out more articles. 🙂

I was wondering if you have any advice on scene cuts or changes mid fight. I could see how breaking away could add tension, lose it, or just be annoying.

I’m towards the end of a long, involved fight scene in my sci-fi/fantasy novel. Currently, my main character is being hunted by a 60ft long, alien snake, and I kinda love the idea of punctuating the last line by ending the chapter on it. But would that be superfluous if the next chapter dives right back into the action? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

“Wren didn’t see it. He was distracted by the four golden eyes now focused on him. Drawn by his noise and movement, the snake rose like a pillar of shadow and let forth a bassy growl that thrummed through Wren’s bones.

Wren didn’t wait for further commentary. His hand whipped forward. His knife flew like an angry wasp into the face of the lunging snake as he rolled to the side and dashed along the beam. He leapt for a low hanging limb, swinging up into a tree just as the beam behind him was encased in tentacles. He scampered along branches and ducked into cover, chancing a glance downward at Rory and Whispering Cloud as the beast disentangled itself to strike again.

He needed Cloud to get the cable back up to him. Once he had it, Wren could free Rory, trap the snake, and get them all to safety – but he was out of tricks, and he could hear the purr of the snake’s breathing as it searched for him, smell its musk as surely as he knew it could smell the blood soaking the bandage on his hand and dripping down the cuts of his arms.

He hoped Cloud had used his distraction to get the cable into position, but all he’d seen was the monk rifling through his backpack. He hoped Rory was still alive. He hoped Cantis was still waiting for them, even though he doubted they’d make it back. It occurred to him that the tree he was pressed against was immense and was something he had never, and would never see again on White Cloud. All these things played through his mind as he waited, silent and breathless for the “collection of problems” that would be his death.

The snake’s golden eyes came into view, and its face unfurled like a velvet flower. Wren had enough dignity not to scream. “

Sorry. Also wanted to mention, as a side note, that setting always makes a huge impression on me. Not stuffing the scene with details, but making sure your characters aren’t just fighting in a vacuum.

A fight being on top of a train, or the deck of a storm tossed pirate ship, or next to the Cliffs of Insanity sure does ratchet up the tension. Even something common place, like a fight next to a swimming pool or in a muddy parking lot can be full of sensory information that add extra grit to the scene.

Hi Caroline,

Thanks for commenting. Your point about setting is a great one – such an easy way to provide oneself with a host of options.

As for ending a chapter mid-action, pretty much anything can be forgiven if it works for the reader. So long as you don’t end up with two noticeably shorter chapters, this is likely to add enough tension to justify any sense that a technical rule has been broken.

Thank you! 🙂

I found this article so helpful, considering I’m bad at fight scenes. Though, I do ask for more advice. How would you write a scene where one character is far more crazy than the other? The stereotypical insane character infatuated with the other losing, a sadistic villain hellbent on destroying the stubborn hero who won’t give up. Yes, the advice above helps, but do you have any examples of these types of fights? How do you write a fight between characters that are on different sides of the mental stability chain?

Thanks very much for the kind words. There are a lot of ways to approach what you describe, but the one I’d suggest playing with first is contrasting experiences. For instance, if the more stable character is hurt and recoils but the less stable character is injured later in a similar way and it doesn’t even slow them down, the reader can see (even without being told) how differently these two people experience the world. It’s the gulf between their experiences that does the work, here, so you can use one character to make the other look unusual just by comparison, and this can work with pain, fear, reluctance to hurt someone else, etc.

There are more straightforward examples you could check out, but I’d actually suggest trying ‘A Clockwork Orange’ to really dig into this idea. The book is full of people with very different approaches to different types of violence, and those people grow and change (or don’t) as the book progresses. In terms of density, you’ll get to witness a lot of interactions predicated on drastically different attitudes to a bit of the old ultraviolence.

This article was honestly one of the most helpful I’ve come across. I’m writing a novel based around pirates and some supernatural elements, and I’d written so much until it led to a fight scene. Action is a giant obstacle for me because I’m terrible at writing it without feeling like it’s choppy and repetitive. Especially since, when it comes to pirates, it’s a lot at once. You have the ships firing their cannons and causing damage while the actual pirates have guns, swords, and fists. I find it very difficult to start writing a fight, let alone finish one successfully.

My sympathies – big battles can be incredibly hard to write well. I’m glad this article helped, and I’ve suggested a couple below that should also be useful.

What Authors Need To Know About Ships And Spaceships How To Write An Epic Battle Scene

How about writing space battles that take place around planets? I feel stuck trying to narrate in third-person limited.

I wanted to zoom in and out of the battle to show what the weapons do, but my editor said my story isn’t working in third-person omniscient.

There are a few ways to do this. The easiest is to add some way for the characters to see more of the battle – a camera drone, some kind of remote-viewing power, or just a weapons/tactics expert telling them what’s happening. This way, the reader is still just seeing what your characters are seeing.

That said, the deeper issue is that leaving the characters behind to go exposit on weaponry is unlikely to be compelling. The characters are what the reader cares about, so this type of exploration is best done through their experiences. I’d therefore suggest writing the scene such that we see the weaponry as it affects the characters. A certain weapon is locked onto them, but they’re buffeted to safety as a nearby ship is blown up by another weapon. Dazed, they’re contacted by another ship with an enemy on its tail, but before they can take action, it’s downed by something else, etc. Not only does this let you explore everything going on, but it makes everything relevant, and the weapons are more interesting because the reader encounters them as threats to the thing they care about. Obviously, you can blur the lines a little, and throw in things they see in the distance or are contacted about so it doesn’t feel like they’ve been personally attacked in every possible way. Finally, be sure to remember that books aren’t movies – spectacle isn’t as inherently impressive in this medium.

I hope that’s useful, and I’d also suggest the articles below for more insight: How To Write An Epic Battle Scene What Authors Need To Know About Ships And Spaceships

Of all the articles I’ve read about the topic, this is the one that I’ve found the most useful, with very good examples to illustrate very clear and sensible advice. I just wanted to thank you for it.

hello. I am writing a training scene. My protagonist learns how to fight. The problem is that I don’t know how to bite that… help!

Robert can you give me tips on how to write a fight against monsters that can’t talk back. Do I just do the perspective of the character during the fight scene or should it change to a 3rd point of view in between the fight. This article has also been very helpful

I find it hard in constructing fight scenes some times. its easy to think about a scenario but to describe it to the readers, I always end up stuck and my last resort is to sleep. This article has been really helpful ! . Thanks to it, I know I’d improve.

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Writing GRUESOME Injury Descriptions

How do you describe an injury so that the reader can see it, smell it, feel it?

Let’s look at some examples then write some gruesome descriptions together!

During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we write some descriptions of gruesome injuries

Watch a short version of the stream here or scroll down for what we wrote.

Describing injuries is tough: you need to make sure to not only evoke the imagery of the wound, but the feeling of it too, plus you can’t go too overboard or else the description will get confusing/silly

So let’s practice it together! But first, some examples:

Hunger Games: “I can see the tear Cato’s sword made in the fabric over his thigh, but it in no way prepares me for what lies underneath. The deep inflamed gash oozing both blood and pus. The swelling of the leg. And worst of all, the smell of festering flesh . … Within minutes of pressing the handful of chewed-up green stuff into the wound, pus begins running down the side of his leg.”

Game of Thrones: “He began to scrape away the black leaves and dried blue mud from Drogo’s chest. A foul, sweet smell rose from the wound, so thick it almost choked her. The leaves were crusted with blood and pus, Drogo’s breast black and glistening with corruption. Black blood ran slow and thick from his open wound.”

• Note how each description uses more than one sense to really make it evocative for the reader
• The use of words like “oozing” and “crusted” that aren’t usually used with human body vocabulary also amp up the gross levels
• Takeaway: Use more than 1 sense, use gross/unnatural vocabulary!

After that, chat came up with a bunch of gruesome injuries, then voted on the ones they liked best for us to describe.

First up, (the aftermath of) being mauled by a bear/lion/large animal.

Here’s what we wrote:

The woman lay on the forest floor after the bear attack, unfortunately still breathing. The skin of her face had been peeled upward, now a flat, bloody sheet of stringed flesh dangling back over her forehead, flapping with her labored breaths. The putrid stench of exposed meat had already summoned a horde of buzzing flies, burrowing under the skin every time it rose and fell with another wet, squelching flop. COZYROGERS Tommy had a threefold gash across his face, each gap wide enough to accommodate a dime lengthwise. Gnarled crevasses with dark walls and bone-white depths, where the beast’s claws had scraped the flesh away, exposing his bare skull. Out gushed a waterfall of blood, coating the man’s formerly handsome face in a crimson mask as he groaned weakly for his mother. JOE The lady sat in the dirt. She had no nose, no lips, no cheeks. Not much of a face anymore. Her mangled flesh barely clung to her exposed skull. Globs of dark blood throbbed, the remaining veins still pumping what they could. One brown eye among flaps of skin. That was the only recognizable part of her.

Next was acid burns on the face.

Her face dripped downward, as if made of putty, flowing into a discolored pool of flesh that had once been her neck. The weight of it dragged down all of her features, pulling her ears, eyes, and mouth into long gaping holes. A sharp, acidic smell still permeated from her skin. No matter how hard anyone scrubbed. Only a faint gurgle escaped from her mouth, unable to ever close again. JUSTINTOONZ Her face was a bulbous, raw chicken breast covered in red and pink scabs of dry, crusted flesh. COZYROGERS You think that’s a burn? Buddy, you’ve never seen a burn before. Remember those acid attacks a dozen years back? Well, I worked in emergency response and… tell you what. Take a look in that mirror. Yeah, that one right there. What do you see? You see a face, right? Good. Now, replace that face with a scab. Just a giant scab. Boiling, bubbling, popping at first, and then… it all… melts together. Smooths out. Like a sheet of glass. And then? It rots. And – if you’re lucky – it all… falls… off.

And last, a disease that eats away flesh from the bone.

His foot looked like it was covered in a thick layer of raw ground beef. Red and orange meat spaghetti with chunky yellowed bits poking out, reeking of old piss and puss. Most terrifying was the healthy skin around it — the plump toes and ankle and shin — like untouched trees waiting for the forest fire to take them too. It was only a matter of time until his entire leg was nothing more than a rancid skin sack brimming with bacterial broth.

Be sure to check out the video for some dramatic readings!

If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch .

And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the  YouTube channel  or  watch the full stream reruns .

Hope to see you next time, friend!

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

4 Tips for Writing Your Character’s PTSD and Trauma Memories

April 22, 2021 by LISA HALL WILSON

Trauma: any event that overwhelms our ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, and diminishes our ability to feel a full range of emotions. Anything can be traumatic depending on the individual and what they can cope with.

Giving a character a trauma background , having them experience some kind of trauma, or having to live with and manage PTSD is something more and more writers are choosing for their stories. 

Trauma is full of conflict and emotional tension, but readers don’t want objective news coverage. They want the lived experience of the event whether it’s happening right now or fifty years ago.

How Our Brains Record Trauma

Memories aren’t recorded in continuous action like a film. It’s recorded in bits with skips and blanks.  Human brains crave beginnings, middles, and ends to things. Context. Continuity. Closure. So, the brain will always look to other sources to fill in those gaps (other survivor accounts, news reports, documentaries, etc) to label, understand, find closure. I cover this more in-depth  here .

What a victim takes in during any trauma may differ from what they remember immediately after and may differ again a week or a month later.  This reality is particularly apparent in rape cases. The Netflix show  Unbelieveable captures this aspect of memory with compelling realism.

This aspect of memory is where you, as the author, can strategically choose which details your characters focus on, are haunted by, prioritize, deny, self-medicate to avoid, etc. 

A PTSD Memory Is Frozen In Time

Generally speaking, memory is flexible and fluid. With time, some elements fade and others come to the fore.  With PTSD however, the event is captured with photographic detail that doesn’t change much or at all. 

If you think of the brain as a giant old-school file cabinet, most memories—even traumatic ones—are filed away for later reference. This relates to how we handle this, react to that, etc. Context. 

But, the PTSD memories are left in the to-be-filed box because the brain doesn’t know where to put them—in modern times there’s usually no context for rape or a natural disaster, right? And those trauma memories are the first ones the brain turns to in order to figure out how to react to things, interpret things, measure risk—everything. The lack of closure means the trauma memory remains a constant and present threat.

There were studies done after WW1 where soldiers just returning from the battlefield were asked to recount a specific battle or incident while it was fresh in their memories. Forty years later, those same soldiers were interviewed again. Those with PTSD recalled the same sights, sounds, smells, and sensory details almost word for word. It’s like an old record or CD with a scratch that gets stuck in one place.

Those who didn’t have PTSD (which represented the majority), their accounts were very different from their original statements, because they’d had time for other sources to fill in the gaps, to find context and closure. As time went on, some or many details changed or were lost.

So how can you use this information when writing trauma or PTSD memories for your character?

1. Know Which Kind of Memories Your Character Is Dealing With

Emotions are the key to capturing the effects of these memories for readers.  Emotions have three jobs: to warn us, to tell us something, or to protect us.  This is super helpful when thinking about how to SHOW the effect trauma memories have, or why they’re triggered.  I go into more detail about emotional context here.

With any trauma memory, there’s one or more emotion concerned with protecting the character from this ever happening again. So any character with a trauma background could have those memories brought forward by feeling too small, insignificant, or weak (as an example). Any situation that recreates that feeling can trigger the trauma memory: someone standing next to them while they’re seated, having to speak with someone in authority (ie., a police officer), etc. 

For those with PTSD, this triggered emotion will activate survival instincts the character will immediately NEED to obey and are often be disproportionate to the situation. Usually, whatever helped them survive initially will be the default reaction. This is not a reaction they can think their way out of. In real life there wouldn’t be much internal dialogue to rationalize or contextualize or self-soothe (though there may be some repeated phrase or warning: good girls do what they’re told , for instance). They may, however, be aware that their reaction isn’t “rational” to the present situation, though it made perfect sense in the trauma situation.

Get curious about the consequences of your character being triggered, because whether he or she chooses to resist or go along with their instinct, those consequences should play into the story. What might happen in a situation where their gut response is anger, but they resist that urge? Or what if they did react instinctively, and they ended up causing physical, emotional, or relational harm to themselves or others? How do they handle the aftermath of a reaction that “makes no sense?” Do you see the kinds of complications this leads to for those with PTSD?     

Without PTSD, someone with a trauma memory is able to retain the ability to think, to problem solve, and intellectualize when faced with those same emotions. It will be upsetting, it will influence their decisions, but the reactions diminish. For those with PTSD, most of the time, their solution is to avoid those emotions being triggered because the consequences are costly.

2. Choose Details That Are out of Place 

Trauma memories will focus on the things that aren’t as they should be—those will be the upsetting details.  Survivors will often focus on what’s out of place, on what’s wrong, what shouldn’t be.  They will register this as wrong, but may be unable in the moment to articulate WHY it’s out of place or shouldn’t be. 

One holocaust survivor recalled how she (as a child) was in hiding with her mother when they were discovered by the Nazis. She hid and her mother was dragged outside several meters away. The girl peeked through a crack in the doorway, saw a soldier point at her mother’s head and heard a crack (a gunshot). In vivid detail, she recounted how the snow turned red. She focused on waiting for hours for her mother to get up. She didn’t have any context for what had happened at the time, but in her retelling there were many details added from an adult perspective.

I also read an account of someone who survived the Oklahoma City bombings. She recalled paper fluttering from the sky, personal papers, and scrambling to try and pick them up. She remembered walking, and the ground crunching underfoot with every step. In the moment, she was deeply upset by this sensory detail but couldn’t say why. Later, she could explain that those were papers people wouldn’t ordinarily be so careless with, that the asphalt was covered in shattered glass from the blown-out windows. She didn’t remember seeing anyone injured or upset, though she acknowledged she must have. Her brain had selectively blocked what was overwhelming. 

When writing memories like these for your character, i nstead of seeking to capture the complete horror of an event, try narrowly focusing on what would be most upsetting to them.  To show what was overwhelming or traumatizing, use things they remember or forget. 

Be visceral with the sensory details . Sound and smell are two senses very closely linked with memory. This will be specific to your character, unique to their experiences and threat levels.

If you’re giving your character PTSD, these memories may have skips and gaps they can’t explain. They may vividly recall every emotion they felt, or they may not recall feeling anything at all (though those same emotions will still be triggered).

3.  Use Flashbacks—Carefully

There are two kinds of flashbacks used in novels. One is a glimpse into a character’s past, basically a cut scene to something that happened before, which may or may not include anything traumatic. This is usually written as a dream or as backstory. 

The second kind of flashback is a trauma memory replayed in detail associated with or to show PTSD. Avoid the temptation to use just this aspect of PTSD and ignore all the intrusive and debilitating aspects of this disorder (well, it’s more correctly a brain injury). Flashbacks are trauma memories re-lived: emotionally, visually, and/or as an auditory memory. 

Here’s the thing: in real life,  a flashback is the body immersing itself in and re-living the worst event of the character’s life over and over without any warning or control to stop it or prevent it from happening.  It’s more like a nightmare than a memory, because it can block out all sense of time and place. These memories can also show up in nightmares that might thematically have no resemblance to the trauma but instead focus on the triggered emotion, like helplessness. These memories are exhausting—mentally, emotionally and physically.  I’ve written more about PTSD flashbacks here.

4. Remember that Memories and the Reactions to Them Are Very Individual

When writing trauma memories, keep in mind how much time has gone by. Those WW1 soldiers recounting events from forty years previous—their memories consisted of what they remembered but they were also made up of what the news reported, what they saw on TV, and what others said. Some consciously or unconsciously altered their memories to avoid a variety of internal consequences (guilt, shame, etc). Think about what other sources might be available to your character to fill in the gaps in the character’s memory, or what reasons they may have to hide or diminish their outward reactions to those memories. What would be the consequences of that emotional suppression?  

No two trauma survivors are the same. Take the time to  research trauma and mental health . Try to find someone you can interview. My experience of PTSD is unique to me. There are commonalities that are used as diagnostic tools, so those are good to be aware of, but the intensity, relational/physical/social consequences, coping mechanisms—all of this is very individual.  Use the lengths the character goes to in order to avoid the memory or its resulting feelings to SHOW the depth and intensity of the pain and tension.

In summary, no one wants to be defined by what’s happened to them, but if you’ve given your character some kind of traumatic memory, be sure those memories significantly influence their decisions, actions, thoughts and feelings—otherwise, why bother?

Resource to help you:

If you would like help unearthing your character’s backstory wound and gain valuable ideas on how each experience might impact their behavior, self-worth, fears, and more, try this Emotional Wound Database .

It can guide you on what to expect for different types of trauma, so you can accurately show the strain of having such a wound be part of their past.

Have you given your character any sort of trauma backstory, or do they experience significant trauma in your story?

If Lisa had a super-power it would be breaking down complicated concepts into digestible practical steps. Lisa loves helping writers “go deeper” and create emotional connections with readers using deep point of view! Hang out with Lisa on Facebook at Confident Writers where she talks deep point of view.

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Reader Interactions

April 28, 2021 at 9:18 pm

Late to the party but this is great stuff on a tough topic. Thanks for sharing. I can’t wait to pass it along for Writer Wednesday.

April 29, 2021 at 11:36 pm

Hope it was helpful!

September 1, 2021 at 7:46 pm

I happened upon this article by accident, but I’d just like to say I love the information presented here. It’s very obvious you’re thoroughly knowledgeable when it comes to this topic. As someone who studies psychology, I’ve seen PTSD written about in all the wrong ways way too often. It’s so refreshing to see someone who knows things like PTSD being a brain injury rather than a disorder, and the complicated issues the brain faces when “filing” PTSD memories. Thank you so much!

April 22, 2021 at 3:01 pm

This is such excellent material! I just finished writing a book in which the character suffered from PTSD as well as an amputation. After reading this, I feel like I pretty much presented challenges correctly. Thank you for sharing!

April 29, 2021 at 11:38 pm

Awesome! We need more writers to show the realities of living with and managing these conditions so more people understand and have compassion. Write the truth in the lie to paraphrase Stephen King.

April 22, 2021 at 9:19 am

Thanks for having me!! I’ve read/watched a lot of stories that have characters PTSD just because they seemed to like the idea of using flashbacks. If writers don’t want all the additional consequences of PTSD they’re better off just using a trauma memory. There’s way more flexibility and in time there’s normal function. It’s pretty insulting to see a condition that’s debilitating reduced to an inconvenient memory.

April 22, 2021 at 9:08 am

Love this, especially focusing on details that is out of place. Thank you, Lisa!

April 22, 2021 at 8:48 am

Such good stuff, Lisa. Getting this right is incredibly important—not only for creating realistic characters, but to treat the topic respectfully for readers who have been through trauma. Thanks for sharing.

[…] This is Part One of a Two-Part Series. Find Post Two Here: 4 Tips For Writing Your Character’s… […]

[…] story. Stavros Halvatzis examines the inner life of characters in stories, Lisa Hall-Wilson offers 4 tips for writing your character’s PTSD and trauma memories, Samantha Downing lists 4 tips for writing about family grudges, and Katharine Grubb gives us 10 […]

35 Tips for Writing Fight Scenes (Ultimate Guide + Examples)

Writing fights scenes can be as thrilling as they are challenging.

Creating intense action sequences, engaging characters, and vivid settings requires meticulous planning and execution.

Here are my best tips for writing fight scenes:

Write fight scenes by starting with a dramatic hook and establishing stakes. Balance fast action with detailed moments. For realism, do thorough research and consider emotional aspects. In fantasy or superhero settings, define power limitations and emphasize emotional stakes.

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to describe fight scenes in writing.

35 Best Tips for Writing Fight Scenes (That Readers Love )

Table of Contents

Whether you’re penning a historical war or an epic fantasy, the following 35 tips will help elevate your fight scenes to unforgettable experiences.

Get ready to unleash the warrior in your words.

1. Clash of Titans: The Importance of Scale

Sometimes, size does matter.

Understanding the scale of your fight is vital for delivering an engaging experience.

If it’s a skirmish between two rival gang leaders, the intimacy and grit will be the focus.

On the other hand, an epic clash between galactic empires will have monumental stakes and grandiose displays of power.

Example : In Lord of the Rings , the Battle of Helm’s Deep feels incredibly intense because of the scale.

A small number of defenders are trying to hold off an overwhelming force, making every moment suspenseful. It’s not just about clashing swords but the survival of a way of life.

2. Architects of War: Build the Battlefield

Your battlefield (or fight zone) is more than just a backdrop – it’s a character in its own right.

Whether it’s the muddy fields of medieval Europe or an asteroid in outer space, the setting affects tactics, emotions, and outcomes.

Don’t just mention it—describe it in a way that adds another layer to your fight scenes.

Example : In George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones , the Battle of the Bastards takes place in an open field but it’s the mud, the trenches, and the wall of bodies that make it memorable and affect the combat.

These features become tactical elements that characters use to gain an advantage or suffer setbacks.

3. The Echo Chamber: Sensory Storytelling

Fight scenes are a sensory overload.

The smell of gunpowder or the clang of steel, the touch of rain or the sight of blood – these details pull readers into the action.

Incorporate as many senses as you can to provide a full, immersive experience.

Example : In Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games , the arena is described not just visually but through the smells, the feeling of the ground underfoot, and the ambient sounds around.

When arrows fly or traps are sprung, all senses are engaged, making readers feel like they’re right there in the battle.

4. Quicksilver Moments: Pacing

Pacing is the heartbeat of your fight scene.

Too slow, and it becomes a slog. Too fast, and you lose emotional impact.

Break up long, descriptive passages with short, punchy sentences to maintain a rhythmic flow.

Use cliffhangers at the end of chapters to keep your reader turning pages.

Example : In J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, the Battle of Hogwarts varies in pacing.

It has breathless moments where spells are flying quickly but slows down for emotional depth when characters we love are in peril or make sacrifices.

5. Choreographed Chaos: Balancing Actions

Balancing the action means knowing when to detail a sword swing and when to pull back for a panoramic view.

You don’t need to describe every parry and thrust, but focusing on key actions can accentuate the drama and tension.

Alternate between zooming in for small but significant actions and zooming out to give a broader picture of the battlefield.

Example : In the film adaptation of The Matrix , Neo’s showdown with Agent Smith is a perfect blend of detailed close-ups and wide shots that capture both the intricacy of their fight and the scale of the destruction around them.

6. Masters of Deception: Misdirection and Strategy

Good battle scenes aren’t just a showcase of brute strength.

They involve strategy, deception, and sometimes even a bit of luck.

Plant seeds for surprises or turns of events that will shock the reader and heighten the stakes. When a battle looks like it’s going in one direction, a clever tactical move can flip it on its head.

Think of the fight scenes in the John Wick , Bourne Identity , or Fast and the Furious franchises.

Example : In Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, Ender wins a simulated battle by doing the unexpected—attacking the planet directly instead of its surrounding forces.

It’s a shocking move that surprises both the characters and the readers.

7. Dive into the POV: Perspective and Focus

The point of view (POV) you choose can greatly affect the reader’s emotional engagement.

Close third-person or first-person perspectives can offer intimate, ground-level experiences, while an omniscient POV can provide a grand, sweeping overview of the fight.

You can even switch between multiple POVs to show different facets of the conflict.

Example : Bernard Cornwell often uses a tight third-person perspective in his historical novels, making you feel every sword clash and see every drop of sweat, grounding you in the intense emotions and physicality of the characters involved.

8. Orchestra of War: Crafting a Soundscape

Fight scenes are noisy affairs, filled with shouts, clangs, and roars.

But what sounds dominate your particular scene? The cadence of marching boots? The pop-pop-pop of gunfire? The rustling of arrows?

Identifying and incorporating a specific “soundtrack” into your scene can deeply influence the reader’s experience.

Example : In Dunkirk , Christopher Nolan uses the ticking of a watch and a gradually intensifying soundtrack to create a sense of urgency and tension.

Similarly, you can use the sounds in your battle to heighten the emotional stakes and keep readers on the edge of their seat.

9. The Dance of Death: Choreographing Duels

Individual fights or duels are often highlights in a story.

These moments need to be choreographed carefully.

Every move, block, and strike should reveal something about the characters involved, whether it’s their skill level, emotional state, or underlying motivations.

Example : In Alexandre Dumas’ The Three Musketeers , the duels aren’t just fights – they are conversations in combat, revealing character traits, alliances, and enmities.

Each clash of swords is a statement, each parry a counter-argument.

10. Bravery and Blunders: Showcasing Character Flaws

Nobody is perfect, and fight scenes are the perfect place to let those imperfections shine.

Maybe your hero misjudges a swing or the villain gets overconfident.

These mistakes make the characters relatable and the outcome unpredictable.

Example: In the Star Wars saga, Anakin Skywalker’s overconfidence becomes his downfall in his duel with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

His flaw doesn’t just make for an exciting fight. It also serves as a pivotal character moment.

11. The Fog of War: Creating Confusion and Uncertainty

In real battles, confusion and lack of information are often as dangerous as the enemy.

Apply the “fog of war” to your scenes by obscuring certain facts or presenting misleading information, creating suspense and uncertainty for both the characters and the readers.

Example : In Ernest Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls , the protagonist, Robert Jordan, has to make decisions based on incomplete or conflicting information, adding a layer of tension and uncertainty to the already chaotic battlefield.

12. Emotional Highs and Lows: The Rollercoaster Ride

Battle scenes can be physically exhausting to read if they’re not broken up by changes in emotional intensity.

Moments of hope, despair, love, and loss can provide much-needed respite and deepen the reader’s emotional investment in the outcome.

Example : In the Battle of Helm’s Deep in Lord of the Rings , the emotional low point occurs when all hope seems lost.

But then Gandalf arrives with reinforcements, providing an emotional high that changes the tide of battle.

13. Art of the Underdog: Flip the Odds

Everyone loves a good underdog story.

There’s something inherently satisfying about a small or ill-equipped group overcoming overwhelming odds

If you’re writing such a scenario, focus on resourcefulness, bravery, and a bit of good luck to make the victory believable.

Example : In 300 by Frank Miller, a small force of Spartans fights against overwhelming Persian forces.

Despite their eventual defeat, their bravery and tactics inspire future generations, turning the battle itself into a legend.

14. Fleeting Moments: Capture Small Victories and Defeats

In any fight scene, there are minor victories and setbacks that occur before the final outcome.

These give depth to your fight scene and keep your readers engaged by creating a dynamic ebb and flow of action.

Example : In Saving Private Ryan , each secured building or cleared trench gives the soldiers a momentary win, but each casualty they take is a minor defeat.

These ups and downs keep the audience invested in the unfolding battle.

15. Cosmic Consequences: The Bigger Picture

Sometimes a fight is about more than just the combatants involved.

It has broader implications for a community, a nation, or even a world.

Remind your readers what’s at stake on a grand scale to elevate the emotional intensity.

Example : In Avengers: Endgame , the final battle is about the fate of the entire universe.

This broadens the scope and stakes of the conflict, making every punch and kick feel significant.

16. Stakes and Sacrifices: What’s to Lose and Gain

Physical conflict is only part of the fight.

Internal conflict can also ratchet up the tension.

Make it clear what your characters stand to gain or lose emotionally, spiritually, or psychologically, adding another layer to the physical stakes.

Example : In Les Misérables , the barricade scenes become a crucible for the characters’ beliefs, hopes, and relationships.

This adds emotional weight to the physical conflict.

17. The Aftermath: Consequences of Battle

A fight changes a landscape, both physically and emotionally.

Don’t cut away as soon as the action stops. Show the aftermath.

Whether it’s the jubilant victors, the wounded, or the dead, the way you describe what remains can be as impactful as the fight itself.

Example: In War and Peace , Tolstoy doesn’t shy away from detailing the grim aftermath of battle, describing the wounded, the dead, and the psychological toll on the survivors.

This adds a poignant, humanizing touch to the grand tapestry of war he describes.

18. Rhythm of the Fight: Sentence Structure Matters

The way you construct your sentences can directly affect the reader’s experience of the battle.

Short, choppy sentences can increase the tempo and create a sense of urgency.

Meanwhile, longer, more complex sentences can be used to describe grand strategies or intricate maneuvers.

Example : In Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian , the violence is often rendered in short, brutal sentences that mimic the abrupt nature of combat.

This contrasts sharply with longer, more poetic descriptions that capture the setting or the characters’ internal thoughts.

19. Gods of War: The Role of Divine Intervention

In certain settings, especially those influenced by mythology or fantasy elements, divine intervention can play a crucial role.

Perhaps a god favors one of the warriors, or an ancient prophecy is being fulfilled on the battlefield.

These elements can add another layer of complexity to your scenes.

Example : In Homer’s Iliad , the gods not only watch the battle but actively participate, supporting their chosen champions and even rescuing them from mortal danger.

This injects an entirely different set of tactics and considerations to the human conflict below.

20. Nature’s Wrath: Environmental Challenges

Don’t forget that Mother Nature can be as much a part of a fight as any soldier or weapon.

Elements like rain, snow, and fog can add complications that make your fight scenes richer and more unpredictable.

Example : In the Battle of Agincourt as described in Shakespeare’s Henry V , the muddy field plays a significant role in hampering the French knights, giving the English longbowmen an advantage.

The weather becomes as much an enemy as the opposing army.

21. Tragic Turns: Unexpected Casualties

Sometimes, a well-loved character’s death can serve as a dramatic turning point in the fight.

Unexpected casualties can shock the reader and characters alike, raising the stakes and adding emotional depth to the conflict.

Example: In J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix , Sirius Black’s sudden death in the middle of battle comes as a shock, fundamentally changing Harry’s experience and emotional state for the remainder of the fight.

22. Micro-Moments: Zooming into Emotional Beats

Even in the midst of chaos, small, intimate moments can be impactful.

A soldier’s reaction to an order, a shared glance between comrades, or even a quick flashback can offer a reprieve from the action and add emotional richness.

Example : In Band of Brothers , during the intense battles, there are moments where the camera zooms in on individual soldiers reacting to events around them.

Fear, a quick decision, or a moment of relief – these micro-moments make the larger battle more personal.

23. Symbols and Metaphors: Layered Meanings

Symbols, such as flags, sacred relics, or significant locations, can add deeper meaning to your fight scenes.

They can serve as rallying points, sources of inspiration, or even elements of division and conflict within your ranks.

Example : In The Lord of the Rings , the banner of the White Tree serves as a powerful symbol for Gondor’s fighters.

Its appearance on the battlefield lifts the spirits of the allies and provides a focus that transcends the immediate physical conflict.

24. The Fog Clears: Moments of Clarity

In the midst of chaos, a moment of clarity for your characters can be a powerful narrative device.

This can be a sudden realization of love, the clarity of their cause, or even a flash of brilliant strategy that could turn the tide of battle.

Example : In The Matrix Revolutions , Neo reaches a moment of clarity during his final battle with Agent Smith.

His realization about the interconnectedness of their existences allows him to make a crucial decision that ultimately ends the war.

25. Words as Weapons: The Power of Dialogue

Even in fight scenes, dialogue is crucial.

From rallying cries to verbal sparring between enemies, the words your characters choose can be as impactful as any physical weapon.

Example : In Braveheart , William Wallace’s pre-battle speech does more than just rally his troops.

It serves to crystallize the stakes of the battle and provides a focal point for the reader, establishing the emotional weight of what’s to come.

26. Unlikely Heroes: Spotlight on Minor Characters

Sometimes, minor characters can steal the spotlight in a fight.

They might save the day, make the ultimate sacrifice, or simply provide comic relief.

Giving minor characters moments to shine can add unexpected twists and emotional richness to your action scenes.

Example : In Game of Thrones , Podrick Payne, a minor character, has his moments of bravery and competence in battle.

Such moments provide depth to the larger conflict and contrast to the more established warriors.

27. Women Warriors and Mighty Maidens: Diversity in Combat Roles

Representation matters, even on the battlefield.

Including a diverse array of fighters—be it gender, ethnicity, or even species in fantasy settings—can make your battle scenes more inclusive and relatable to a wider audience.

Example : In Mulan , the titular character disguises herself as a man to fight for China.

Her presence on the battlefield challenges traditional gender roles, and her eventual triumph comes from leveraging her unique skills, rather than conforming to expected norms.

This attaches social commentary to the action.

28. The Morale Mechanism: Group Dynamics and Psychology

In a fight, the emotional and psychological state of a group can be as crucial as their physical prowess.

Describing shifts in morale, moments of collective doubt, or a sudden surge of courage can layer complexity on your scene.

Example : In Bernard Cornwell’s Sharpe series, the British soldiers often sing or use humor to boost morale.

The mood among the troops can shift rapidly depending on their situation, adding another element of tension and potential for reversal in the story.

29. Musical Mayhem: Incorporate Songs and Chants

In many cultures, music, chants, or hymns play a role in warfare.

From war drums to bugle calls to soldiers singing together, these can be powerful tools for setting the mood and deepening cultural context.

Example : In the historical film Zulu , British soldiers sing “Men of Harlech” to boost morale during the Battle of Rorke’s Drift.

This use of music blends cultural depth and an emotional layer to the already intense situation.

30. Tipping Point: The Moment Everything Changes

Every fight has a “tipping point”—a moment when the outcome swings clearly in one direction.

Identifying and amplifying this moment can provide a satisfying climax to the action.

Example : In the Battle of Hogwarts in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows , the moment Harry reveals he’s alive is a significant tipping point.

It reignites the will to fight among his allies, making the ultimate victory possible.

31. Unseen Hands: The Role of Non-Combatants

Not everyone on the battlefield is a warrior.

From medics to messengers to spectators, non-combatants can play important roles in your fight scenes, providing new perspectives and opportunities for heroism or tragedy.

Example : In Gone with the Wind , Scarlett O’Hara is not a soldier.

But her experiences during the Battle of Atlanta provide a different, harrowing view of the conflict.

Her actions and observations add depth to our understanding of the battle’s impact.

32. A Spoonful of Humor: Light Moments in Dark Times

Even in the direst circumstances, a bit of humor can provide relief and humanize your characters.

A sarcastic quip, a ridiculous mishap, or just a moment of irony, humor can make your fight scenes more engaging and relatable.

Example : In Marvel’s The Avengers , Tony Stark’s quips during intense fight scenes serve to lighten the mood and endear his character to the audience.

His humor doesn’t downplay the stakes.

Instead, it adds another dimension to the action.

33. The David Strategy: Use of Ingenious Tactics

Sometimes, the underdog wins by using unconventional or surprising tactics.

Describing such ingenious strategies can not only make the battle more interesting but also showcase the cleverness of your characters.

Example : In Ender’s Game , Ender uses unconventional tactics to win battles in the Battle Room and, ultimately, against the alien Formics.

His innovative strategies make each confrontation intriguing and intellectually satisfying.

34. Echoes of History: Reference Real Battles

Drawing parallels to real historical battles can lend authenticity and depth to your fictional confrontations.

You can recreate a specific historical battle or just borrow elements from one.

Example : George R.R. Martin has stated that the Red Wedding in A Song of Ice and Fir e was inspired by real events like the Black Dinner and the Massacre of Glencoe in Scottish history.

These historical echoes bring a chilling layer of realism to the shocking turn of events.

35. The Final Blow: Ending with a Bang (or a Whimper)

How your fight ends can be just as important as how it unfolds.

Will it end with a dramatic final showdown or an anti-climactic whimper?

The conclusion should serve the broader narrative and character arcs.

Example: In The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe , the battle ends with Aslan’s dramatic return and victory over the White Witch, serving both the plot and the underlying allegorical elements of the story.

Here is a great video about how to write fight scenes:

How Do You Write a Superpower Fight Scene?

Fights between superheroes, spellcasters, or other supernatural entities require special care and consideration.

The Spectacle: Making the Impossible Possible

Superpower fights are where you can really let your imagination run wild.

Whether it’s magic, advanced technology, or otherworldly abilities, the sky’s the limit.

However, remember that every power should have limitations or a cost to keep the fight tense and engaging.

Example : In a superhero script, you might describe a character flying at supersonic speed to intercept a falling satellite, but then struggling with the immense heat and pressure.

• Create visually stunning moves or tactics.
• Define limitations or costs for each superpower.

Emotional Underpinning: More than Just a Showdown

Even a fight with the most dazzling superpowers can fall flat without an emotional core.

Why are these characters fighting? Is it just to save the day, or is there a deeper, personal reason?

By grounding the spectacle in emotion, you give your audience more reasons to care about the outcome.

Example : In Marvel’s Civil War , the fight between Captain America and Iron Man is impactful not just because of their superpowers but because of their fractured friendship.

• Insert emotional stakes or backstory to the fight.
• Use dialogue or flashbacks to add emotional depth.

By paying attention to these factors, from the initial setup to the emotional undertones, you can create battle scenes that are not just thrilling, but also emotionally resonant and memorable.

The key lies in balancing spectacle with substance.

30 Best Words for Describing a Battle Scene

• Devastating
• Cataclysmic

30 Best Phrases for Describing a Battle Scene

• “A cacophony of clashing steel.”
• “Thundering hooves and battle cries.”
• “A dance of death and valor.”
• “Waves of arrows darkening the sky.”
• “Swords drawn and spirits unyielding.”
• “Grim faces set in determination.”
• “A torrent of blood and sorrow.”
• “A symphony of chaos and courage.”
• “Where valor meets its ultimate test.”
• “The ground slick with the blood of the fallen.”
• “Cannons roar, shaking heaven and earth.”
• “A storm of lead and fire.”
• “A whirlwind of slashes and parries.”
• “In a hailstorm of bullets.”
• “The sky ablaze with falling embers.”
• “Deafening blasts and piercing screams.”
• “The battlefield strewn with the fallen.”
• “A solemn dance on the edge of oblivion.”
• “The air thick with smoke and dread.”
• “A merciless rain of fire and fury.”
• “Eyes ablaze with unquenchable resolve.”
• “Soldiers advancing like a relentless tide.”
• “The thunderous clash of war drums.”
• “A wall of shields, unbreakable and resolute.”
• “The final charge, do or die.”
• “A desperate struggle, tooth and nail.”
• “Each strike fueled by adrenaline and fear.”
• “The silence before the storm of violence.”
• “Cutting through enemy lines like a hot knife through butter.”
• “The solemn tolling of the death knell.”

Final Thoughts: Tips for Writing Fight Scenes

Sometimes fight scenes explode into all out war or battle scenes.

Other times, they end with death, loss, and funerals. Whereover your story takes you, we have a guide to help you write it.

Check out some of our other articles below.

Related posts:

• How to Write Battle Scenes: The Ultimate Guide
• How to Describe Nervousness in Writing (23 Tips + Examples)
• How to Describe a Brave Person in Writing (21 Tips + Examples)
• How to Describe Pain in Writing: 45 Best Tips with Examples

Describing Sadness in Creative Writing: 33 Ways to Capture the Blues

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on August 25, 2023

Categories Creative Writing , Writing

Describing sadness in creative writing can be a challenging task for any writer.

Sadness is an emotion that can be felt in different ways, and it’s important to be able to convey it in a way that is authentic and relatable to readers. Whether you’re writing a novel, short story, or even a poem, the ability to describe sadness can make or break a story.

Understanding sadness in writing is essential to creating a believable character or scene. Sadness is a complex emotion that can be caused by a variety of factors, such as loss, disappointment, or loneliness. It’s important to consider the context in which the sadness is occurring, as this can influence the way it is expressed.

By exploring the emotional spectrum of characters and the physical manifestations of sadness, writers can create a more authentic portrayal of the emotion.

In this article, we will explore the different ways to describe sadness in creative writing. We will discuss the emotional spectrum of characters, the physical manifestations of sadness, and the language and dialogue used to express it. We’ll also look at expert views on emotion and provide unique examples of describing sadness.

By the end of this article, you’ll have a better understanding of how to authentically convey sadness in your writing.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding the emotional spectrum of characters is essential to creating a believable portrayal of sadness.
• Physical manifestations of sadness can be used to convey the emotion in a more authentic way.
• Authenticity in describing sadness can be achieved through language and dialogue, as well as expert views on emotion.

33 Ways to Express Sadness in Creative Writing

Let’s start with some concrete examples of sadness metaphors and similes:

Here are 33 ways to express sadness in creative writing:

• A heavy sigh escaped her lips as a tear rolled down her cheek.
• His eyes glistened with unleashed tears that he quickly blinked away.
• Her heart felt like it was being squeezed by a cold, metal fist.
• A profound emptiness opened up inside him, threatening to swallow him whole.
• An avalanche of sorrow crashed over her without warning.
• His spirit sank like a stone in water.
• A dark cloud of grief descended on her.
• Waves of sadness washed over him, pulling him under.
• She felt like she was drowning in an ocean of melancholy.
• His eyes darkened with sadness like a gathering storm.
• Grief enveloped her like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.
• The light in his eyes dimmed to a flicker behind tears.
• Sadness seeped through her veins like icy slush.
• The corners of his mouth drooped like a wilting flower.
• Her breath came in short, ragged gasps between sobs.
• A profound melancholy oozed from his pores.
• The weight of despair crushed her like a vice.
• A haunted, hollow look glazed over his eyes.
• An invisible hand squeezed her heart, wringing out all joy.
• His soul curdled like spoiled milk.
• A silent scream lodged in her throat.
• He was consumed by a fathomless gloom.
• Sorrow pulsed through her veins with every beat of her heart.
• Grief blanketed him like new-fallen snow, numbing and icy.
• Tears stung her eyes like shards of glass.
• A cold, dark abyss of sadness swallowed him.
• Melancholy seeped from her like rain from a leaky roof.
• His spirit shriveled and sank like a deflating balloon.
• A sick, hollow ache blossomed inside her.
• Rivulets of anguish trickled down his cheeks.
• Sadness smothered her like a poisonous fog.
• Gloom settled on his shoulders like a black shroud.
• Her sorrow poured out in a river of tears.

Understanding Sadness in Writing

Describing sadness in writing can be a challenging task.

Sadness is a complex emotion that can manifest in different ways. It can be expressed through tears, sighs, silence, or even a simple change in posture. As a writer, you need to be able to convey sadness effectively to your readers, while also avoiding cliches and melodrama.

One way to approach describing sadness is to focus on the physical sensations and reactions that accompany it. For example, you might describe the feeling of a lump in your throat, or the tightness in your chest. You could also describe the way your eyes become watery, or the way your hands tremble.

These physical descriptions can help your readers to empathize with your characters and feel the same emotions.

Another important aspect of describing sadness is the tone of your writing. You want to strike a balance between conveying the depth of the emotion and avoiding excessive sentimentality.

One way to achieve this is to use simple, direct language that conveys the emotion without resorting to flowery language or overwrought metaphors.

When describing sadness, it’s also important to consider the context in which it occurs. Sadness can be a response to many different situations, such as loss, disappointment, or rejection. It can also be accompanied by other emotions, such as anger, confusion, or melancholy.

By considering the context and accompanying emotions, you can create a more nuanced and realistic portrayal of sadness in your writing.

Finally, it can be helpful to draw on examples of how other writers have successfully described sadness. By studying the techniques and descriptions used by other writers, you can gain a better understanding of how to effectively convey sadness in your own writing.

In conclusion, describing sadness in writing requires a careful balance of physical descriptions, tone, context, and examples. By focusing on these elements, you can create a more nuanced and effective portrayal of this complex emotion.

Emotional Spectrum in Characters

In creative writing, it’s important to create characters that are multi-dimensional and have a wide range of emotions. When it comes to describing sadness, it’s essential to understand the emotional spectrum of characters and how they respond to different situations.

Characters can experience a variety of emotions, including love, happiness, surprise, anger, fear, nervousness, and more.

Each character has a unique personality that influences their emotional responses. For example, a protagonist might respond to sadness with a broken heart, dismay, or feeling desolate.

On the other hand, a character might respond with anger, contempt, or apathy.

When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the emotional response of the character. For example, a haunted character might respond to sadness with exhaustion or a sense of being drained. A crestfallen character might respond with a sense of defeat or disappointment.

It’s also important to consider how sadness affects the character’s personality. Some characters might become withdrawn or depressed, while others might become more emotional or volatile. When describing sadness, it’s important to show how it affects the character’s behavior and interactions with others.

Overall, the emotional spectrum of characters is an important aspect of creative writing. By understanding how characters respond to different emotions, you can create more realistic and relatable characters. When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the character’s emotional response, personality, and behavior.

Physical Manifestations of Sadness

When you’re feeling sad, it’s not just an emotion that you experience mentally. It can also manifest physically. Here are some physical manifestations of sadness that you can use in your creative writing to make your characters more believable.

Tears are one of the most common physical manifestations of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your eyes may start to water, and tears may fall down your cheeks. Tears can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Crying is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cry. Crying can be used to show that a character is feeling deeply hurt or upset.

Numbness is a physical sensation that can accompany sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel emotionally numb. This can be used to show that a character is feeling disconnected from their emotions.

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your face may droop, and your eyes may look downcast. This can be used to show that a character is feeling down or depressed.

Gestures can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may slump your shoulders or hang your head. This can be used to show that a character is feeling defeated or hopeless.

Body Language

Body language can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cross your arms or hunch over. This can be used to show that a character is feeling closed off or defensive.

Cold and Heat

Sadness can also affect your body temperature. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel cold or hot. This can be used to show that a character is feeling uncomfortable or out of place.

Sobbing is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sob uncontrollably. This can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Sweating is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sweat profusely. This can be used to show that a character is feeling anxious or nervous.

By using these physical manifestations of sadness in your writing, you can make your characters more realistic and relatable. Remember to use them sparingly and only when they are relevant to the story.

Authenticity in Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, authenticity is key. Readers can tell when an author is not being genuine, and it can make the story feel less impactful. In order to authentically describe sadness, it’s important to tap into your own emotions and experiences.

Think about a time when you felt truly sad. What did it feel like? What physical sensations did you experience? How did your thoughts and emotions change? By tapping into your own experiences, you can better convey the emotions of your characters.

It’s also important to remember that sadness can manifest in different ways for different people. Some people may cry, while others may become withdrawn or angry. By understanding the unique ways that sadness can present itself, you can create more authentic and realistic characters.

If you’re struggling to authentically describe sadness, consider talking to a loved one or best friend about their experiences. Hearing firsthand accounts can help you better understand the nuances of the emotion.

Ultimately, the key to authentically describing sadness is to approach it with empathy and understanding. By putting yourself in the shoes of your characters and readers, you can create a powerful and impactful story that resonates with your audience.

Language and Dialogue in Expressing Sadness

When writing about sadness, the language you use can make a big difference in how your readers will perceive the emotions of your characters.

Consider using metaphors and similes to create vivid images that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the sadness as a heavy weight on the character’s chest or a dark cloud hanging over their head.

In addition to using metaphors, you can also use adjectives to describe the character’s emotions. Be careful not to overuse adjectives, as this can detract from the impact of your writing. Instead, choose a few powerful adjectives that will help your readers understand the depth of the character’s sadness.

For example, you might describe the sadness as overwhelming, suffocating, or unbearable.

When it comes to dialogue, it’s important to remember that people don’t always express their emotions directly. In fact, sometimes what isn’t said is just as important as what is said.

Consider using subtext to convey the character’s sadness indirectly. For example, a character might say “I’m fine,” when in reality they are struggling with intense sadness.

Another way to use dialogue to convey sadness is through the use of behaviors. For example, a character might withdraw from social situations, stop eating or sleeping properly, or engage in self-destructive behaviors as a result of their sadness.

By showing these behaviors, you can help your readers understand the depth of the character’s emotions.

Finally, when describing sadness, it’s important to consider the overall mood of the scene. Use sensory details to create a somber atmosphere that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the rain falling heavily outside, the silence of an empty room, or the dim lighting of a funeral home.

Overall, when writing about sadness, it’s important to choose your words carefully and use a variety of techniques to convey the depth of your character’s emotions.

By using metaphors, adjectives, dialogue, behaviors, and sensory details, you can create a powerful and emotionally resonant story that will stay with your readers long after they’ve finished reading.

Expert Views on Emotion

When it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to have a deep understanding of how they work and how they can be conveyed effectively through writing. Here are some expert views on emotion that can help you write about sadness in a more effective and engaging way.

Dr. Paul Ekman

Dr. Paul Ekman is a renowned psychologist who has spent decades studying emotions and their expressions. According to Dr. Ekman, there are six basic emotions that are universally recognized across cultures: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust.

When it comes to writing about sadness, Dr. Ekman suggests focusing on the physical sensations that accompany the emotion.

For example, you might describe the heaviness in your chest, the lump in your throat, or the tears that well up in your eyes. By focusing on these physical sensations, you can help your readers connect with the emotion on a deeper level.

While sadness is often seen as a “negative” emotion, it’s important to remember that all emotions have their place in creative writing. Disgust, for example, can be a powerful tool for conveying a character’s revulsion or aversion to something.

When writing about disgust, it’s important to be specific about what is causing the emotion. For example, you might describe the smell of rotting garbage, the sight of maggots wriggling in a pile of food, or the texture of slimy, raw meat.

By being specific, you can help your readers feel the full force of the emotion and understand why your character is feeling it.

Overall, when it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to be both specific and authentic. By drawing on your own experiences and using concrete details to describe the physical sensations and causes of emotions, you can create a more engaging and emotionally resonant piece of writing.

Unique Examples of Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, there are many unique ways to convey this emotion to your readers. Here are some examples that can help you create a powerful and moving scene:

• The crying scene : One of the most common ways to show sadness is through tears. However, instead of just saying “she cried,” try to describe the crying scene in detail. For instance, you could describe how her tears fell like raindrops on the floor, or how her sobs shook her body like a violent storm. This will help your readers visualize the scene and feel the character’s pain.
• The socks : Another way to show sadness is through symbolism. For example, you could describe how the character is wearing mismatched socks, which represents how her life is falling apart and nothing seems to fit together anymore. This can be a subtle yet effective way to convey sadness without being too obvious.
• John : If your character is named John, you can use his name to create a sense of melancholy. For example, you could describe how the raindrops fell on John’s shoulders, weighing him down like the burdens of his life. This can be a creative way to convey sadness while also adding depth to your character.

Remember, when describing sadness in creative writing, it’s important to be specific and use vivid language. This will help your readers connect with your character on a deeper level and feel their pain.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective ways to describe a person’s sadness without using the word ‘sad’.

When describing sadness, it’s important to avoid using the word “sad” as it can come across as cliché and lackluster. Instead, try using more descriptive words that evoke a sense of sadness in the reader. For example, you could use words like “heartbroken,” “bereft,” “devastated,” “despondent,” or “forlorn.” These words help to create a more vivid and emotional description of sadness that readers can connect with.

How can you describe the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face?

When describing the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face, it’s important to pay attention to the small details. For example, you could describe the way their eyes become red and swollen from crying, or how their mouth trembles as they try to hold back tears. You could also describe the way their shoulders slump or how they withdraw into themselves. By focusing on these small but telling details, you can create a more realistic and relatable portrayal of sadness.

What are some examples of using metaphor and simile to convey sadness in creative writing?

Metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for conveying sadness in creative writing. For example, you could compare a person’s sadness to a heavy weight that they’re carrying on their shoulders, or to a storm cloud that follows them wherever they go. You could also use metaphors and similes to describe the way sadness feels, such as a “gnawing ache” in the pit of their stomach or a “cold, empty void” inside their chest.

How can you effectively convey the emotional weight of sadness through dialogue?

When writing dialogue for a character who is experiencing sadness, it’s important to focus on the emotions and feelings that they’re experiencing. Use short, simple sentences to convey the character’s sadness, and avoid using overly complex language or metaphors. You could also use pauses and silences to create a sense of emotional weight and tension in the scene.

What are some techniques for describing a character’s inner sadness in a way that is relatable to the reader?

One effective technique for describing a character’s inner sadness is to focus on their thoughts and feelings. Use introspection to delve into the character’s emotions and describe how they’re feeling in a way that is relatable to the reader. You could also use flashbacks or memories to show why the character is feeling sad, and how it’s affecting their current actions and decisions.

How can you use sensory language to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story?

Sensory language is an effective way to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story. Use descriptive words that evoke the senses, such as the smell of rain on a sad day or the sound of a distant train whistle. You could also use sensory language to describe the physical sensations of sadness, such as the weight of a heavy heart or the taste of tears on the tongue. By using sensory language, you can create a more immersive and emotional reading experience for your audience.

Stabbed or Scratched: How to Describe Pain in Writing

Think about the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. How would you have described it when you were in the moment? What did it feel like? Did it have a color and texture? Maybe even a sound or a smell? Did it make you perceive your world in different ways? Did you notice what was going on around you? 

Chances are, if you were in enough pain, you probably didn’t notice much beyond, “Wow, this hurts.” It might be after the fact when you start to think more about how pain affects the body and the mind. Although the weird thing about pain is the body is designed to forget it—otherwise no one would ever have more than one child–so it can be hard to recall what exactly it felt like. 

Incidentally, my worst pain was probably giving birth to my son. The epidural had worn off, and it was too late to do anything about it. He was coming, and it was time to push. All I can remember are bright lights, screaming (not sure if that was me or my husband), and a lot of people surrounding me because things weren’t going very well and my little guy was stuck. 

If I had to give it a color, it would have been white or light blue for the lights and uniforms of the medical personnel. If I were giving it a texture, I would say it was smooth, simply because everything was just passing me by like I was sliding through a tunnel until that moment of absolute relief when the worst of it ended with a healthy baby boy placed in my arms. 

When it comes to writing about the pain your characters experience, you need to walk a fine line between taking your reader along to feel that pain without beating them over the head with it (which would also be painful).

With all that in mind, let’s talk about how to describe pain in your writing. In this article, we’ll go over:

• Challenges of writing pain
• Tips for writing about pain
• A list of pain descriptions you can use in your writing

Challenges of Writing Pain

Of course, one of the challenges of writing about pain is that everyone experiences it differently. What might feel like off the charts pain for one person might just be another day in the life of someone who lives with a chronic illness. A splitting migraine for you might feel like a normal headache to your neighbor. 

We also express pain in different ways. Some people try to suppress it and pretend they’re absolutely fine, while others will make sure you know about every single ache and stitch they’re experiencing. Multiple times. And of course, there are the majority of people who will fall somewhere in between. 

The other challenge with writing pain is that it can feel like a real drag to read paragraphs of how much something hurts. 

Consider the following paragraph…

“She dragged herself up as needle-sharp bolts shot through her shoulder, her teeth clenching so hard her jaw ached. Her body trembled and sweat dripped down her forehead as she groaned. When she inhaled, another flash of pain had her seeing double as her head throbbed and her arm felt like it had been cut in two. She stumbled, clutching her flaring limb as her vision went dark and waves of agony seared through her body.”

OKAY, enough already. 

She hurts, we get it. 

You can see from that paragraph how easy it is to go from describing pain in your character to inflicting pain on your reader. It’s a fine line that, like anything, you can get better at with practice.

Tips for Writing About Pain

And of course, to help you out, we’ve got some tips to make it even easier to learn the intricacies of writing about pain. 

Consider the pain level

Not all pain is created equal and some will impact your life in large ways, while others will be nothing more than a minor inconvenience. You can divide your character’s pain into four categories:

• Mild/minor/low: This is the kind of pain that is a little annoying but doesn’t hamper you. A mild headache or a sore muscle. Use words like pinch, sting, stiff, sore. 
• Moderate/medium: This is a higher level of pain that doesn’t debilitate but still  distracts your character from a task or breaks their concentration. Here, you might use words like ache, throb, or flare. 
• Severe/high: This is a type of pain that prevents your character from doing pretty much anything. It’s the kind of pain that will have them laid up in bed. Consider words like anguish, stabbing, or torturous. 
• Obliterating/extreme: This, of course, is the kind of pain that will have your hero writhing on the ground, unable to think of anything else, even pushing away thoughts of how to actually stop it. Think of words like shredding, twisting, knifing, or ripping. Ouch. 

You can also consider the injury and what kinds of pain would result, such as:

• Getting stuck with a pointed object like a sword or tree branch: pricking, drilling, penetrating, stabbing, piercing
• Getting cut with an object like a blade or knife: slicing, cutting, lacerating, sharp
• Having something tear like a muscle or a joint: pulling, wrenching, tearing
• Getting crushed by something heavy like a stone or piece of a crumbling building: pressing, crushing, tight, squeezing, heavy
• Getting whipped or lashed by magic or a whip: whipping, searing, lashing, lacerating
• Getting burned by cold or hot things like fire or ice: scalding, burning, aching, tingling, freezing, numbing, scalding
• Getting attacked by some kind of magic or curse: cruel, vicious, torturing, twisting, writhing

Less is sometimes more

Remember above when we talked about how it can be a drag to read endless paragraphs about how much your character hurts? With that thought in mind, keep your descriptions tight and resist the urge to wax on for too long about it. 

Conversely, if your character just got shot or got a knife in the gut, don’t forget about the pain a moment later. A serious injury doesn’t just magically disappear (unless you’ve created your world that way) just because the action is picking up. Sprinkle in gentle reminders that the injury is still present and affecting your character’s ability to get to their goal. 

After the fact, don’t forget to also allude to it from time to time as they’re recovering. If they’ve been seriously injured, then they’re bound to feel pain as they heal, too. But as we’ve mentioned, keep it brief and treat it with a light hand. Just a mention here or there to weave it into the details with the rest of your story. 

Show, don’t tell

Oh man, not this again. But yes, with pain, this rule is even more important. Don’t tell us it hurts. Tell us what it feels like. If your character has just been stabbed, talk about how it feels like an iron hot poker has just been shoved through their gut. If they’re being crushed by a heavy object, talk about how they’re having trouble breathing. If they’re being tortured, talk about the way they’re trying to detach from the pain and send their mind into protection mode. 

Give your pain consequences

There should be a consequence for the pain, otherwise what’s the point of hurting your character? (There is one exception to this that I’ll talk about in a minute.) Think about what the pain prevents them from doing. If they’ve been stabbed, can they rescue the handsome prince from the tower? 

Think about how much you want pain to play a role in your story. Do you want your reader to believe your character might not make it? Using pain as a plot device is an effective way to drive up the stakes and is a great way to show that “end of the world” moment for your down-on-their luck character. 

Give your character chronic pain

Chronic pain is something many people live with and yet, we don’t tend to see it represented that often in books. Chronic pain can come in the form of a disease or disability, or something like chronic migraines. How you choose to portray that pain and what you do with it is up to you. 

I mentioned above that not all pain needs to serve a purpose, and this is where chronic pain comes in. It doesn’t need to stop the character from doing anything, but it can be used to show how it affects their life, simply because that’s how people sometimes live. And it definitely doesn’t need to be “cured.” In real life, it rarely is, so for a character to simply exist with this as a part of their day to day is perfectly fine.

In fact, the trope of “healing a disability” is one that’s fallen out of favor and can actually be considered problematic. If you do choose to write about chronic pain or disability, be sure to get yourself a sensitivity reader to ensure you aren’t leaning into negative stereotypes or harmful tropes. 

Research your ailments

Pain is one of those things you want to get right. While you can get away with a lot in fiction, especially if you write speculative fiction, pain and injury are pretty universal ideas. 

If one of your characters gets shot or knifed in the stomach in one scene and they’re making dinner plans and heading to the gym in the next, your readers are going to give you the side eye. 

Yes, it’s fiction and the pain tolerances of fictional characters can be different from real life people, but within limits. 

If you’re writing a fantasy creature that heals quickly, that might be one way to overcome an extreme injury. Or maybe you’re writing a thriller with a Jack Ryan-type hero who would never let a little bullet wound get in his way. 

But for most, breathing, living characters, getting their arm nearly hacked off is going to take them down. Make sure you’re exercising realistic limits of pain tolerance.

The blog Script Medic is a great place to start where a medical professional breaks down various injuries for writers. It’s a great way to get information without filling your search history with things the FBI might investigate you for.

Pain Descriptions

Here are some words and phrases to help you describe pain in writing. Obviously, this isn’t an exhaustive list, but this should help get you started:

• A pale complexion
• Arching of the back
• Avoiding others
• Begging to die
• Biting a bottom lip
• Blacking out
• Blotchy skin
• Blurred vision
• Body going into shock
• Calling for help or aid
• Clenched hands and limbs
• Clenching or grinding of teeth
• Dark hollows under the eyes
• Darkness in the corner of vision
• Dragging one foot
• Drinking excessive alcohol
• Drooping eyelids
• Eyes squeezed shut
• Flinching at contact
• Gingerly moving about
• Glassed over eyes
• Gripping another person for help
• Haggard expression
• Hands gripping clothing
• Hanging on to the wall or furniture for support
• Hunched shoulders
• Hyperventilation
• Impatient gestures
• Limp arms, legs, hands, or fingers
• Looking away
• Mouth hanging open
• Nostrils flaring
• Praying to gods of deities
• Repeating oneself
• Rocking or swaying back and forth
• Rubbing areas of pain
• Sawing breaths
• Short, panting breaths
• Shuddering breaths
• Standing still
• Starbursts or floaties in the eyes
• Stilted gait
• Sweat on the brow
• Taking medication
• Tapping the foot
• Taste of blood or copper in mouth
• Tears or wet eyes
• Tentative steps
• Tight muscles and limbs
• Walking stiffly
• Watering eyes

By now, you’re hopefully a bonafide expert on the art of writing pain. As with anything, make sure you’re reading lots of books where pain is described. It can help you see what works and, maybe more importantly, what doesn’t. If you’re reading a book and the character’s pain is starting to feel like a drag, then that’s a good sign the author has taken it too far. 

But if you find yourself aware of the pain, but not distracted by it, then that’s a sign they’ve done their job well. 

If you found this article useful, be sure to visit our growing database of articles at DabbleU . We’re adding new ones every week to help you become your best writing self. We even make it super easy for you and send you all our latest tips, advice, and tricks when you sign up for our weekly newsletter . 

Nisha J Tuli is a YA and adult fantasy and romance author who specializes in glitter-strewn settings and angst-filled kissing scenes. Give her a feisty heroine, a windswept castle, and a dash of true love and she’ll be lost in the pages forever. When Nisha isn’t writing, it’s probably because one of her two kids needs something (but she loves them anyway). After they’re finally asleep, she can be found curled up with her Kobo or knitting sweaters and scarves, perfect for surviving a Canadian winter.

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beaten up - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

• blood gushing
• Blood trail
• bloody hands
• broken finger
• wound or injury

There is the damage to the skin, yet the damage to the brain takes far longer to heal. For rewiring back to empathy, to happy memories and a positive sense of self requires the patient layering of neurones daily. The damage of moments requires the healing of years. Being beaten up is, in reality, being beaten down.

Gina walked up the bloody mess on the floor that had been her adversary. He was grotesque. Already his eyes were swollen over and bloody spit drooled from his slack jaws. He was now as revolting as he should be, finally the outside reflects the man within. This cockroach of the law who prevented medicine reaching the sick, who tracked down hard working families who do no more than deliver people what they really want, lies foul in his own fluids. Even if he makes it these scars will be forever. With a wrinkled nose she took a step backwards, it was tempting to whisper something in his ear, that he was broken and she had won, but what was the point. He'd be lucky to remember his own name. She dialled for an ambulance herself, maiming a cop doesn't bring down nearly the same heat as killing one, and this way his walking disfigured face would be a living reminder to his colleagues of what happens to those who mess with Gregor's daughter.

When the dawn comes I can barely move, and not because Darwin is snuggled in so close. Every muscle has seized up. My body is struggling to recover, to repair the damage. Unable to move with any grace my movements are jerky. Darwin wakes, this time not in panic but sleepily. I tuck him back in and he stays, thumb in mouth. I edge into the light that flows water-like through the windows and strip off my topmost layer. On each arm there are great purple welts that will only deepen over the coming week. Against my ghostly skin they are grotesque, but I know I am lucky not to have broken bones...I look as beat up as I did in my early days of training, sparring with guys two heads taller and over twice my mass. At least they didn't go for my face - unlike those gang patsies. I don't need to be walking about looking like I came off worse in a fight so I guess I’m gonna be hauled up here for a while. Without looking in a mirror I know my face is as purple as my arms.

Found in Darwin's Ghost - first draft , authored by daisy .

When Parker first comes into view I don't recognize him, he's too far away and his gait is all wrong. He walks like a scarecrow more than a man and all lop-sided at that. As he nears my heart falls right through my sneakers, he's more purple than brown. His left eye is swollen, he can't be seeing a thing out of that and he won't for a while yet. His face still bears congealed blood and his clothes are an utter mess. Then he tries to say my name, his cracked lips failing at the first syllable, but he doesn't need to, I'm already on my feet and running.

Grayson makes his entrance late. I hear the door swing open more loudly than usual. I don't turn, don't acknowledge him. He's late and I don't play nice when he doesn't show up on time. Then he speaks, I know it's him but the voice is all wrong, like he's speaking while being choked. I turn. In one shattered moment my heart and breathing stop, just stop. He's a bloody mess, nose smashed and eyes almost shut with swelling. His arms are wrapped round his guts like he's holding them in and to be honest he's beat so bad he could be.

Jay lay in the hospital bed, eyes fixed on the window until Lara walked in. He turned, knowing already what face she would make, and she did. Her eyes got that wide look, her bottom lip trembled and she hurried to sit by his bedside. Her eyes walked from one injury to another, taking in the gore that was her husband. Jay could see the conflict already, her wanting to be strong for him and the raw need to weep welling up. "It's alright," he croaked, "you can cry." It was all the permission she needed, head down on the white woollen blanket, minutes passing until she could speak his name.

Ronald could never recall how long the beating had gone on for, only the final kick and the sound of the iron bar falling to the concrete. His face wasn't too bad, just a cut above his eyebrow, the scarlet blood flowing into his eyes. It was his body that was damaged almost beyond the point at which recovery was possible. When the paramedics cut away his clothes the blooming purple patches told of internal ruptures, likely organ damage. They had looked at Ron with encouraging faces but were utterly ashen when he couldn't see them, giving involuntary shakes of their heads. And all the while there was Mera crying in the background like her heart had snapped in two.

The shadows of the beating were on Evan's skin and on his heart. The knowledge that his own brother could do such a thing just broke something inside of him, something that would remain long after his skin and bones were healed. It was a sadness in his eyes, a heaviness, an unyielding sorrow that slowed his speech and robbed him of his once easy smile.

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A Guide to Descriptive Writing

by Melissa Donovan | Jan 7, 2021 | Creative Writing | 8 comments

What is descriptive writing?

Writing description is a necessary skill for most writers. Whether we’re writing an essay, a story, or a poem, we usually reach a point where we need to describe something. In fiction, we describe settings and characters. In poetry, we describe scenes, experiences, and emotions. In creative nonfiction, we describe reality. Descriptive writing is especially important for speculative fiction writers and poets. If you’ve created a fantasy world, then you’ll need to deftly describe it to readers; Lewis Carroll not only described Wonderland  (aff link); he also described the fantastical creatures that inhabited it.

But many writers are challenged by description writing, and many readers find it boring to read — when it’s not crafted skillfully.

However, I think it’s safe to say that technology has spoiled us. Thanks to photos and videos, we’ve become increasingly visual, which means it’s getting harder to use words to describe something, especially if it only exists in our imaginations.

What is Descriptive Writing?

One might say that descriptive writing is the art of painting a picture with words. But descriptive writing goes beyond visuals. Descriptive writing hits all the senses; we describe how things look, sound, smell, taste, and feel (their tactile quality).

The term descriptive writing can mean a few different things:

• The act of writing description ( I’m doing some descriptive writing ).
• A descriptive essay is short-form prose that is meant to describe something in detail; it can describe a person, place, event, object, or anything else.
• Description as part of a larger work: This is the most common kind of descriptive writing. It is usually a sentence or paragraph (sometimes multiple paragraphs) that provide description, usually to help the reader visualize what’s happening, where it’s happening, or how it’s happening. It’s most commonly used to describe a setting or a character. An example would be a section of text within a novel that establishes the setting by describing a room or a passage that introduces a character with a physical description.
• Writing that is descriptive (or vivid) — an author’s style: Some authors weave description throughout their prose and verse, interspersing it through the dialogue and action. It’s a style of writing that imparts description without using large blocks of text that are explicitly focused on description.
• Description is integral in poetry writing. Poetry emphasizes imagery, and imagery is rendered in writing via description, so descriptive writing is a crucial skill for most poets.

Depending on what you write, you’ve probably experimented with one of more of these types of descriptive writing, maybe all of them.

Can you think of any other types of descriptive writing that aren’t listed here?

How Much Description is Too Much?

Classic literature was dense with description whereas modern literature usually keeps description to a minimum.

Compare the elaborate descriptions in J.R.R. Tolkien’s  Lord of the Rings  trilogy  with the descriptions in J.K. Rowling’s  Harry Potter series  (aff links). Both series relied on description to help readers visualize an imagined, fantastical world, but Rowling did not use her precious writing space to describe standard settings whereas Tolkien frequently paused all action and spent pages describing a single landscape.

This isn’t unique to Tolkien and Rowling; if you compare most literature from the beginning of of the 20th century and earlier to today’s written works, you’ll see that we just don’t dedicate much time and space to description anymore.

I think this radical change in how we approach description is directly tied to the wide availability of film, television, and photography. Let’s say you were living in the 19th century, writing a story about a tropical island for an audience of northern, urban readers. You would be fairly certain that most of your readers had never seen such an island and had no idea what it looked like. To give your audience a full sense of your story’s setting, you’d need pages of detail describing the lush jungle, sandy beaches, and warm waters.

Nowadays, we all know what a tropical island looks like, thanks to the wide availability of media. Even if you’ve never been to such an island, surely you’ve seen one on TV. This might explain why few books on the craft of writing address descriptive writing. The focus is usually on other elements, like language, character, plot, theme, and structure.

For contemporary writers, the trick is to make the description as precise and detailed as possible while keeping it to a minimum. Most readers want characters and action with just enough description so that they can imagine the story as it’s unfolding.

If you’ve ever encountered a story that paused to provide head-to-toe descriptions along with detailed backstories of every character upon their introduction into the narrative, you know just how grating description can be when executed poorly.

However, it’s worth noting that a skilled writer can roll out descriptions that are riveting to read. Sometimes they’re riveting because they’re integrated seamlessly with the action and dialogue; other times, the description is deftly crafted and engaging on its own. In fact, an expert descriptive writer can keep readers glued through multiple pages of description.

Descriptive Writing Tips

I’ve encountered descriptive writing so smooth and seamless that I easily visualized what was happening without even noticing that I was reading description. Some authors craft descriptions that are so lovely, I do notice — but in a good way. Some of them are so compelling that I pause to read them again.

On the other hand, poorly crafted descriptions can really impede a reader’s experience. Description doesn’t work if it’s unclear, verbose, or bland. Most readers prefer action and dialogue to lengthy descriptions, so while a paragraph here and there can certainly help readers better visualize what’s happening, pages and pages of description can increase the risk that they’ll set your work aside and never pick it up again. There are exceptions to every rule, so the real trick is to know when lengthy descriptions are warranted and when they’re just boring.

Here are some general tips for descriptive writing:

• Use distinct descriptions that stand out and are memorable. For example, don’t write that a character is five foot two with brown hair and blue eyes. Give the reader something to remember. Say the character is short with mousy hair and sky-blue eyes.
• Make description active: Consider the following description of a room: There was a bookshelf in the corner. A desk sat under the window. The walls were beige, and the floor was tiled. That’s boring. Try something like this: A massive oak desk sat below a large picture window and beside a shelf overflowing with books. Hardcovers, paperbacks, and binders were piled on the dingy tiled floor in messy stacks.  In the second example, words like  overflowing  and  piled are active.
• Weave description through the narrative: Sometimes a character enters a room and looks around, so the narrative needs to pause to describe what the character sees. Other times, description can be threaded through the narrative. For example, instead of pausing to describe a character, engage that character in dialogue with another character. Use the characters’ thoughts and the dialogue tags to reveal description: He stared at her flowing, auburn curls, which reminded him of his mother’s hair. “Where were you?” he asked, shifting his green eyes across the restaurant to where a customer was hassling one of the servers.

Simple descriptions are surprisingly easy to execute. All you have to do is look at something (or imagine it) and write what you see. But well-crafted descriptions require writers to pay diligence to word choice, to describe only those elements that are most important, and to use engaging language to paint a picture in the reader’s mind. Instead of spending several sentences describing a character’s height, weight, age, hair color, eye color, and clothing, a few, choice details will often render a more vivid image for the reader: Red hair framed her round, freckled face like a spray of flames. This only reveals three descriptive details: red hair, a round face, and freckles. Yet it paints more vivid picture than a statistical head-to-toe rundown:  She was five foot three and no more than a hundred and ten pounds with red hair, blue eyes, and a round, freckled face.

10 descriptive writing practices.

How to Practice Writing Description

Here are some descriptive writing activities that will inspire you while providing opportunities to practice writing description. If you don’t have much experience with descriptive writing, you may find that your first few attempts are flat and boring. If you can’t keep readers engaged, they’ll wander off. Work at crafting descriptions that are compelling and mesmerizing.

• Go to one of your favorite spots and write a description of the setting: it could be your bedroom, a favorite coffee shop, or a local park. Leave people, dialogue, and action out of it. Just focus on explaining what the space looks like.
• Who is your favorite character from the movies? Describe the character from head to toe. Show the reader not only what the character looks like, but also how the character acts. Do this without including action or dialogue. Remember: description only!
• Forty years ago we didn’t have cell phones or the internet. Now we have cell phones that can access the internet. Think of a device or gadget that we’ll have forty years from now and describe it.
• Since modern fiction is light on description, many young and new writers often fail to include details, even when the reader needs them. Go through one of your writing projects and make sure elements that readers may not be familiar with are adequately described.
• Sometimes in a narrative, a little description provides respite from all the action and dialogue. Make a list of things from a story you’re working on (gadgets, characters, settings, etc.), and for each one, write a short description of no more than a hundred words.
• As mentioned, Tolkien often spent pages describing a single landscape. Choose one of your favorite pieces of classic literature, find a long passage of description, and rewrite it. Try to cut the descriptive word count in half.
• When you read a book, use a highlighter to mark sentences and paragraphs that contain description. Don’t highlight every adjective and adverb. Look for longer passages that are dedicated to description.
• Write a description for a child. Choose something reasonably difficult, like the solar system. How do you describe it in such a way that a child understands how he or she fits into it?
• Most writers dream of someday writing a book. Describe your book cover.
• Write a one-page description of yourself.

If you have any descriptive writing practices to add to this list, feel free to share them in the comments.

Descriptive Writing

Does descriptive writing come easily to you, or do you struggle with it? Do you put much thought into how you write description? What types of descriptive writing have you tackled — descriptive essays, blocks of description within larger texts, or descriptions woven throughout a narrative? Share your tips for descriptive writing by leaving a comment, and keep writing!

Further Reading: Abolish the Adverbs , Making the Right Word Choices for Better Writing , and Writing Description in Fiction .

I find descriptions easier when first beginning a scene. Other ones I struggle with. Yes, intertwining them with dialogue does help a lot.

I have the opposite experience. I tend to dive right into action and dialogue when I first start a scene.

I came across this article at just the right time. I am just starting to write a short story. This will change the way I describe characters in my story.

Thank you for this. R.G. Ramsey

You’re welcome!

Great tips and how to practise and improve our descriptive writing skills. Thank you for sharing.

You’re welcome, Bella.

Hello Melissa

I have read many of your articles about different aspects of writing and have enjoyed all of them. What you said here, I agree with, with the exception of #7. That is one point that I dispute and don’t understand the reason why anyone would do this, though I’ve seen books that had things like that done to them.

To me, a book is something to be treasured, loved and taken care of. It deserves my respect because I’m sure the author poured their heart and soul into its creation. Marking it up that way is nothing short of defacing it. A book or story is a form of art, so should a person mark over a picture by Rembrandt or any other famous painter? You’re a very talented author, so why would you want someone to mark through the words you had spent considerable time and effort agonizing over, while searching for the best words to convey your thoughts?

If I want to remember some section or point the author is making, then I’ll take a pen and paper and record the page number and perhaps the first few words of that particular section. I’ve found that writing a note this way helps me remember it better. This is then placed inside the cover for future reference. If someone did what you’ve suggested to a book of mine, I’d be madder than a ‘wet hen’, and that person would certainly be told what I thought of them.

In any of the previous articles you’ve written, you’ve brought up some excellent points which I’ve tried to incorporate in my writing. Keep up the good work as I know your efforts have helped me, and I’m sure other authors as well.

Hi Stanley. Thanks so much for sharing your point of view. I appreciate and value it.

Marking up a book is a common practice, especially in academia. Putting notes in margins, underlining, highlighting, and tagging pages with bookmarks is standard. Personally, I mark up nonfiction paperbacks, but I never mark up fiction paperbacks or any hardcovers (not since college).

I completely respect your right to keep your books in pristine condition. And years ago, when I started college, I felt exactly the same way. I was horrified that people (instructors and professors!) would fill their books with ugly yellow highlighting and other markips. But I quickly realized that this was shortsighted.

Consider an old paperback that is worn and dog-eared. With one look, you know this book has been read many times and it’s probably loved. It’s like the Velveteen Rabbit of books. I see markups as the same — that someone was engaging with the book and trying to understand it on a deeper level, which is not disrespectful. It’s something to be celebrated.

Sometimes we place too much value on the book as a physical object rather than what’s inside. I appreciate a beautiful book as much as anyone but what really matters to me is the information or experience that it contains. I often read on a Kindle. Sometimes I listen to audio books. There is no physical book. The experience is not lessened.

I understand where you’re coming from. I used to feel the same way, but my mind was changed. I’m not trying to change yours, but I hope you’ll understand.

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Suspense Unleashed: Describing Anticipation in Creative Writing

My name is Debbie, and I am passionate about developing a love for the written word and planting a seed that will grow into a powerful voice that can inspire many.

Have you ever found yourself on the edge of your seat, eagerly flipping through the pages of a novel or holding your breath during a thrilling scene in a movie? The feeling of anticipation is a powerful tool that creative writers use to captivate and engage their readers. From suspenseful cliffhangers to heart-pounding plot twists, the art of describing anticipation adds an extra layer of excitement to any narrative. In this article, we will explore how skilled writers harness the innate human emotion of anticipation to create unforgettable moments in their storytelling. Whether you are an aspiring writer or simply a lover of literature, join us on this journey as we unravel the secrets behind building suspense and unleashing the power of anticipation in creative writing.

The Power of Suspense: Captivating Readers from the Start

Creating tension: crafting compelling characters and settings, mastering pacing: controlling the release of information, the art of foreshadowing: planting seeds for anticipation, plot twists and cliffhangers: keeping readers on the edge, using atmosphere and mood: evoking suspense through senses, building suspenseful dialogue: crafting intriguing conversations, utilizing suspense in different genres: tailoring techniques for maximum impact, frequently asked questions, to wrap it up.

Anticipation, the heartbeat of suspense, pulsates through the pages of captivating narratives, leaving readers spellbound. As writers, we hold the key to unlocking this enigmatic force, infusing our words with tension that keeps readers on the edge of their seats. Here are a few tips to harness the power of anticipation and create a truly gripping experience for your audience.

1. Building a sense of foreboding: Planting seeds of unease early on can set the stage for an enthralling journey. Start by creating an atmosphere thick with hints, ambiguous clues, and a palpable sense of impending doom. Employ vivid sensory descriptions, using foreshadowing to create a visual and emotional landscape that lingers in the reader’s mind.

2. Playing with pacing: Mastering the art of pacing is essential when crafting suspenseful scenes. Vary the tempo of your writing to control the reader’s heart rate, alternating between moments of calm and chaotic intensity. Slow down during crucial moments, allowing anticipation to mount, while quickening the pace during climactic scenes to increase the thrill.

The power of suspense is a literary technique that has the uncanny ability to captivate readers from the very beginning of a story, leaving them eagerly turning the pages to uncover what lies ahead. It is the art of building anticipation, creating a sense of curiosity, and keeping readers on the edge of their seats. Suspense not only adds excitement and intrigue to a narrative but also allows readers to form a deep emotional connection with the characters and events unfolding.

One of the key elements of suspense is the skillful use of foreshadowing. By subtly hinting at future events or outcomes, authors create a sense of impending danger or mystery. This keeps readers invested and engaged as they try to piece together the puzzle, eagerly awaiting the resolution. Additionally, a well-executed pacing plays a crucial role in building suspense. By alternating fast-paced, intense moments with slower, more contemplative ones, writers can create a rollercoaster effect that heightens tension. This keeps readers emotionally invested , as they yearn for the next plot twist or revelation.

• Suspense engages readers’ emotions and piques their curiosity.
• It creates a deep connection between readers and the story.
• Foreshadowing contributes to the sense of impending danger or mystery.
• Effective pacing amplifies tension and keeps readers engaged.

A skilled writer understands the power of suspense and knows how to wield it to its full potential, drawing readers into a world of anticipation and thrill. Through carefully crafted plots, unforgettable characters, and masterfully executed twists, authors are able to transport readers into a realm where every revelation feels like a step closer to uncovering the truth. So whether it’s through unexpected plot twists , unresolved secrets, or looming threats, the power of suspense is an indispensable tool that holds the key to captivating readers from the very start.

When it comes to writing a gripping story, one of the key elements that can captivate readers is the creation of tension through compelling characters and settings. By carefully crafting these two aspects, writers can establish an atmosphere of anticipation and keep their audience engaged from beginning to end.

Compelling Characters:

• Complexity is key: Develop multidimensional characters with conflicting motives, flaws, and strengths.
• Create a strong protagonist: Give your main character a compelling goal and put them in situations that challenge their beliefs and values.
• Introduce a worthy adversary: Design an antagonist that poses a real threat to the protagonist, pushing them to their limits.
• Emotional resonance: Make your characters relatable by giving them relatable emotions, desires, and fears that readers can empathize with.

Setting the Stage:

• Select an intriguing backdrop: Choose a setting that not only complements the story but also adds an extra layer of suspense or curiosity.
• Utilize sensory details: Engage readers by vividly describing the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures of the environment.
• Create a conflict-ready world: Develop a setting that naturally breeds conflicts, whether it’s a dystopian society or a magical realm on the brink of war.
• Use symbolism: Incorporate symbolic elements within the setting that reflect the story’s theme and enhance the overall tension.

By implementing these strategies, writers can elevate their storytelling to new heights, keeping readers on the edge of their seats. So, dive deep into the souls of your characters, paint pictures with your words, and watch as tension electrifies your narrative, leaving readers hungry for more!

When it comes to communicating effectively, the timing of information plays a crucial role. The art of pacing allows you to guide your audience’s attention, build suspense, and create a memorable experience. Whether you’re writing a novel, composing a speech, or designing a website, mastering pacing is essential to keep your audience engaged from beginning to end.

Why is pacing important?

• Engagement: Well-paced information holds the audience’s attention and keeps them invested in the content. By organizing your ideas and presenting them in a well-timed manner, you can ensure that your message is understood and retained.
• Suspense: Pacing allows you to strategically withhold or release information, creating anticipation and suspense. By revealing details at precisely the right moment, you can captivate your audience and keep them eagerly awaiting the next revelation.
• Comprehension: Proper pacing ensures that information is delivered in a logical and coherent manner. It allows your audience to process and understand each piece of information before moving on to the next, preventing confusion or overwhelm.

Mastering pacing means striking the right balance between fast and slow, managing the ebb and flow of information to create a rhythm that resonates with your audience. By understanding the power of timing and using it intentionally, you can engage and captivate your audience like never before.

When it comes to writing captivating stories, the art of foreshadowing is an indispensable technique that can truly captivate the reader’s imagination. It involves strategically planting seeds of anticipation throughout the narrative, subtly hinting at future events and creating a sense of foreboding or excitement. By skillfully utilizing foreshadowing, writers can deepen the impact of their plot twists, create memorable characters, and engage readers on a profound level.

One of the key elements of effective foreshadowing is the use of symbolism. By incorporating symbolic objects, actions, or even weather patterns, writers can allude to upcoming events or themes in a non-obvious manner. This can add an additional layer of depth to the story and make the eventual revelation all the more satisfying. For example, a single line about a character’s fear of heights early on in the story might foreshadow a dramatic climax that takes place on a towering bridge.

Intriguing questions and ambiguous statements are also powerful tools in the arsenal of foreshadowing techniques. Without revealing too much, writers can plant seeds of curiosity in the minds of the readers, urging them to continue reading to uncover the truth. By crafting open-ended statements such as “Little did she know what awaited her beyond the old oak door,” writers pique the readers’ curiosity, leaving them eager to discover the mysteries lying ahead. Furthermore, authors can create parallel incidents or repeat certain phrases throughout the story, offering subtle hints to important future events.

Through the careful implementation of foreshadowing, writers are able to create a sense of anticipation and keep readers engaged from start to finish. By weaving symbols, asking compelling questions, and subtly repeating certain elements, the art of foreshadowing adds a layer of intrigue that elevates storytelling to new heights. So, embrace this powerful technique and let your stories flourish by planting those seeds of anticipation!

When it comes to captivating storytelling, plot twists and cliffhangers play a crucial role in keeping readers hooked, eagerly turning the pages. These narrative techniques inject an element of surprise, suspense, and anticipation, leaving readers on the edge of their seats. So, how can you effectively incorporate plot twists and cliffhangers into your writing? Here are some tips to deliver those jaw-dropping moments that will keep your readers coming back for more.

1. Foreshadowing: Lay the groundwork by subtly hinting at future plot developments throughout your story. Foreshadowing creates an air of mystery and intrigue, building up anticipation for the eventual twist or cliffhanger.

2. Subverting expectations: Challenge your readers’ assumptions and subvert the established norms. Introduce unexpected turns of events that defy conventional storytelling, flipping the narrative on its head and leaving readers in awe.

When it comes to crafting a suspenseful narrative, atmosphere and mood play a crucial role in engaging the reader and creating an intense experience. By evoking the senses through vivid descriptions and strategic use of sensory details, you can immerse your audience in a world filled with suspense and anticipation.

One effective way to enhance the atmosphere is by leveraging sight. Describing dimly lit settings, obscure shadows, or eerie landscapes can instantly set a foreboding tone. Engage your reader’s imagination and stimulate their sense of sight by vividly portraying the scenes, using powerful and evocative language. Bold and prominent visual cues can help establish a sinister ambiance or create an air of uncertainty, keeping your audience on the edge of their seats.

The art of crafting intriguing conversations is a key element in building suspenseful dialogue that keeps readers on the edge of their seats. Creating tension and suspense through dialogue can make your story more engaging and thrilling. Here are some techniques to help you master the art of building suspenseful dialogue:

• Use subtext: The beauty of suspenseful dialogue lies in what is left unsaid. Subtext refers to the underlying message or meaning that is hinted at through the characters’ words. By incorporating subtext into your dialogue, you can create an air of mystery and tension. Pay attention to what is suggested or implied, rather than explicitly stated.
• Employ effective pacing: The rhythm and pace of your dialogue play a crucial role in building suspense. Vary the length of sentences and use shorter, sparse dialogue to create tension. Quick exchanges can heighten anticipation and make the conversation more gripping. Conversely, slowing down the pace can build anticipation and increase suspense.

Mastering the art of crafting intriguing conversations requires practice and experimentation. By utilizing subtext and employing effective pacing, you can create suspenseful dialogue that captivates your readers and leaves them wanting more. Remember, suspense is the key ingredient to drawing your audience deeper into your story, so keep honing your skills and let the suspense unfold naturally through your characters’ conversations.

Suspense is a powerful tool that can captivate readers and keep them on the edge of their seats. Whether you’re writing a thriller, a mystery, or a romance, mastering the art of suspense can take your storytelling to the next level. By employing various techniques tailored to different genres, you can leave your readers craving for more with each page turn.

In the thriller genre, pacing is key. The relentless build-up of tension through short, snappy sentences and frequent scene changes keeps readers hooked. Introduce unexpected twists and turns, heightening the suspense at every opportunity. Another technique is to create unreliable characters, feeding readers small clues that cast doubt on their intentions. This not only adds complexity to your plot but also amplifies the element of suspense as readers try to figure out who they can trust.

Q: What does it mean to unleash suspense in creative writing? A: Unleashing suspense in creative writing refers to the skillful use of various literary techniques to create a sense of anticipation and tension, keeping the reader engaged and eager to find out what happens next.

Q: Why is suspense an essential element in storytelling? A: Suspense is crucial in storytelling as it adds excitement, intrigue, and emotional investment for readers. It keeps them hooked, eagerly turning the pages, and heightens the overall impact and effectiveness of the narrative.

Q: What are some effective techniques for building suspense in creative writing? A: There are several techniques writers can employ to build suspense, such as foreshadowing, cliffhangers, pacing, unexpected revelations, creating conflicting emotions in characters, and strategic use of descriptive language and setting to add tension and atmosphere.

Q: Can you provide an example of foreshadowing? A: Certainly! Foreshadowing can be as simple as a subtle hint dropped early in the story that alludes to a future event. For instance, a character glancing nervously at a locked drawer, later revealing its contents to be a crucial piece of evidence or a shocking revelation.

Q: How can writers effectively use cliffhangers to create suspense? A: A cliffhanger occurs when a story ends abruptly, leaving the reader in suspense, urging them to know what happens next. By leaving a character in a perilous situation or introducing a pivotal question, writers can effectively compel readers to continue reading or eagerly await the next installment.

Q: What role does pacing play in building anticipation? A: Pacing refers to the speed at which events unfold in a story. By skillfully manipulating the pacing, writers can control the level of suspense. Quickening the pace during moments of high tension or slowing it down during a critical revelation can heighten the reader’s anticipation and engagement.

Q: How can conflicting emotions in characters create suspense? A: By presenting characters with conflicting emotions or choices, writers can keep readers on edge. When characters face difficult decisions or internal conflicts, readers become emotionally invested, anticipating the outcome and the potential consequences for the characters involved.

Q: How can descriptive language and setting contribute to suspense? A: Using vivid, evocative language to describe settings and atmosphere can create a sense of unease or foreboding, enhancing the suspense. Describing unfamiliar or eerie locations with carefully chosen details can help immerse readers in the story’s tension and anticipation.

Q: Are there any other elements that can help build suspense in creative writing? A: Yes, there are many other elements that can contribute to building suspense, such as well-developed characters with complex motivations, unexpected plot twists, skillful use of dialogue, and the controlled release of information to keep readers guessing and yearning for more.

Q: Why is it important to strike a balance in creating suspense? A: Striking a balance is crucial because too much suspense can exhaust the reader, while too little can result in a lackluster story. Skilled writers know how to gradually build suspense, interspersing it with moments of respite to allow the reader to catch their breath while maintaining a thrilling narrative experience.

Q: Can anyone learn to unleash suspense in their writing, or is it a natural talent? A: While some writers may have a natural inclination for creating suspense, it is a skill that can be developed and honed through practice, reading diverse genres, and studying the techniques employed by masterful storytellers. By understanding the mechanics of suspense and experimenting with various techniques, any writer can unleash suspense in their storytelling.

In conclusion, learning how to create suspense and anticipation in creative writing is crucial for captivating readers and keeping them on the edge of their seats.

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Overcoming Blocks: When Writers Get Stuck on a Writing Topic They Should

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• Writing About
• Tips For Writers

May 18, 2015

Writing about: an alley.

TIP: Dumpster is capitalized because it is a trademark. I learned that last year.

102 comments:

Thanks for the very vivid tips! It's a claustrophobic setting, particularly if the alley is a dead end. It can heighten the character's senses if they're cornered and have to look for an escape route.

Exactly! And in my story the alley is a dead end. ;)

Hi Chrys, loving the alley tips. In chapter 1of my wip there's an alley scene and would definitely use these and my senses to enhance that setting.

I'm glad I can help, Lidy. :)

Good tips! We had an alley behind our house where I lived for three years (grades 1-3) that was a neighborhood playground, but it could be seen easily from homes on both sides (so parents could keep an eye on us) and the only traffic was garbage (and you knew when they were coming) and utility trucks which were infrequent.

An alley that was a neighborhood playground? That's interesting.

Chrys, You use what you have as a playground. We used to play in the pasture and had to dodge the cow patties all the time, sometimes missing of course. Sunni http://sunni-survivinglife.blogspot.com/

Unless they figure briefly because somebody cuts through to get somewhere else, alleys seem to be rather disgusting places when used in books.

They sure can be disgusting places, which is why they are perfect for murder stories. ;)

An alley seems pretty limited in terms of the type of stories you can have there. If you're characters go into an alley, you know they're not going there to take an exam ;)

That's very true, Michael. Only certain stories...thrillers and mysteries will bring their characters to an alley. But...hey...it could be an exam or test of some kind if a gang is involved. See how that work? :P

See, that's why you're the published author and I'm not ;)

Hmmm...I don't think I've included many alleyways in my writing. I wonder why.

I think your type of stories could easily include an alley. I read Marionette and reviewed it on Saturday. I really enjoyed it and love your characters. :)

These are some great tips. I love the eagle photo, too. I've heard they are like pigeons in Alaska.

They're like pigeons in Alaska? That's hard to imagine.

Great tips! I'd never thought about using an alley in a story.

Thanks, Sarah! Any place can be a setting in a story. :)

I can tell you - I used to work third shift counselor at a rehab. The worse odor was someone in the last throes of Aids. I will never forget that. Someone can walk by me in a store and I know they have that disease. It's unnerving. Great post of ideas, Chrys, thank you!

That sounds disturbing, Dixie. I hope I never know what that smells like.

Alleys are great spots for events in urban fantasy. Dark and out of sight from the street. Lots of supernatural critters crawling around! That eagle picture is pretty neat. :)

Very true. I can picture all sorts of creepy critters in those shadows. *shutters* ;)

An alley can be a great set up indeed. But usually stuck with so much, unless there is a secret passageway in there haha

A secret passageway would come in handy for character in danger.

Smells in an alley can be quite interesting and very gross. lol

Haha. I agree. :P

I think I feature an alley in at least two of my books, including my WIP. It's set in Chicago, so there's plenty of back alleys to explore!

Yay for alley settings! :)

Dumpster is capitalized? Now I know.

It is. That was something I learned while reading a book last year. In 30 Seconds I didn't capitalize it, but now I know to do it.

I have one alley scene. Its not epic, just an SUV plowing through alleys full speed and sending people jumping back indoors and trash flying all over the place.

Oh, but that sounds pretty exciting.

Most interesting and vivid tips Chrys, enjoyed the post. Yvonne.

Thanks, Yvonne.

Dumpster Diving Eagles! I've never seen that before. And you're absolutely right. Alleys are an essential detail in any story with an alley involved.

Neither have I. I thought the picture was pretty cool and thought some readers could get a kick out of it.

My characters always find themselves in alleys. They usually end up doing something with the dumpster. Jumping on it, blowing it up. Ya know, things like that. ;)

Blowing up Dumpsters. I wouldn't want to be around when your characters do that. haha

These are great tips for writing any setting! I have yet to write an alley scene...perhaps eventually it'll pop up.

Yes, using all the scenes for any scene is important to set it up.

If my character tastes something I'm sure it will be awful.

No doubt about that. Ick!

I think my characters had a fight with some bullies in an alley once. I definitely think sensory images (especially with something like an alley) is definitely the way to go!

Fights usually happen in alleys, don't they? :)

Very vivid descriptions, Chrys! No, my characters haven't found themselves in an alley but I love the idea for suspense and or loneliness. You've described them so well here, just like our alleys downtown Vancouver. Sometimes you see a clean one which is always a pleasant surprise. Just finished Hurricane Crimes this morning! Loved it!! Will post reviews very soon. :)

A clean alley? I'd like to see one of those! ;P Thank you so much! Whenever I know someone is reading one of my eBooks, I get nervous. :)

You can really engage all of the senses with an alley setting!

Exactly. That's why I love alley settings!

Sad to say all my writing and reading have been alley free. I'm not sure why--you're right, it is a great setting. I hate the alley behind my house. I wish it didn't exist. That's really interesting about Dumpster. I didn't know that. And that pic of the eagles is awesome!

Well, maybe an alley...a spooky alley...will make it into one of your future stories. I bet you'd do a great job making it come to life.

I was in Birmingham last week, and participated in a Ghost Tour. We walked by an alley where 50 citizens charged city hall, and 20 people were killed. They say that investigators caught an EVP with a disembodied voice stating very clearly, "Count the bodies."

I have ALWAYS wanted to go on a Ghost Tour/Walk. I've also always wanted to use one of those EVP devices. :) That's creepy!

I've used an alley sometimes, but I can't recall having used it as a setting for a prolonged period of time. My character Urma Smart (née Pancake), the town psychopath, made up a story about being cornered in an alleyway by a drunken Mortez (her future husband and father of her child) to avoid telling her parents she'd willingly gotten drunk and had sex at fifteen years old. She eventually comes clean, but Mortez never forgets the lie she told about him. Then in my second Russian historical, Anastasiya catches antagonist Boris having sex with his clandestine girlfriend under a fire escape in an alley in the Upper East Side. Anastasiya is a bit of an antagonist herself, and rather light-headed, but this is one of the times she shows she's not some moron, and has quite a few choice words for Boris.

Well, because my story is short it was easier to make an alley a setting for most of it such as the beginning and the climax.

Chrys, I love alleys for all the reasons you describe. I think they work well in mysteries and thrillers. I do have an alley in my mysteries series and I do believe I've covered all the issues you describe. Hoping to publish my first in the trilogy this year. It's with an editor now. Good subject for your post. Sunni http://sunni-survivinglife.blogspot.com/

I have my fingers crossed for you, Sunni! I'd love to read your alley scenes. :)

An alley does allow for a lot of disgusting description. A perfect place for a thirller.

Ha! Yes, it certainly does. I guess because I like darker tones, that's why alleys appeal to me.

One of my opening scenes was in an alley and I wished I'd read your post before I wrote it. You came up with some images I didn't think of.

Thank you, Sandra, but I;m sure your opening scene is great. :)

I had never put that much thought into alleys as they are places I tend to avoid. I have never written about an alley but this would be great material to use if I did or about anything else really. Sean at His and Her Hobbies

I'm glad you think so, Sean. :)

There is something spooky about an alley. I can't say I've ever included one, although I did have a scene in a narrow hallway filled with lockers once. It was sort of alley-ish!

Haha. That is a little alley-ish. And schools can be nightmares.

I really liked the alley setting in your book. Alleys can be very creepy.

Thank you, Mary! :D

Oh yikes, I do not go into alleys often enough. And come to think of it, my main character does spend some time in one. Ick...

I don't think I've ever been in one. lol

Alleys can be creepy and scary. I have been in an alley with a friend and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Urine, throw-up and gross things were all around so I got out of there in a hurry and then told my friend never again!

Yeah, I'm not sure if I'd ever want to be in an alley, but I like to put my characters in them. ;)

Great reminder of how important descriptions using all our senses are. I always wonder why that person went in to the alley. No, don't do it.

Ha! It is like watching a slasher movie when someone goes upstairs. :P

I try to stay out of alleys; now I think I know why. betty

Smart, very smart. ;)

Hi. Dark alleys have always creeped me out, and I couldn't resist using one in my novel. And it works so well in your short story too. I find it interesting that the same alley in the daylight wouldn't bother me at all....unless it's in a bad part of town. You can learn so much about a neighborhood this way.

I couldn't resist either! The best thing a writer can do is writer about things that creep him/her out.

Both my characters and I avoid alleys :) but your tips about engaging all the senses are good for every setting really.

Thanks, Nilanjana.

This has nothing to do with my writing, but I thought it was funny you posted about this, because we were just visiting Estes Park, CO this weekend, and we walked through an alley to get to the main street. My son, who is 10, exclaimed that he could officially say he'd walked in an alley now (he reads a lot, so I'm sure he's read about plenty of alleys). We then had an entire short conversation about alleys, and whether we'd been in any. Unfortunately (though fortunately for us that day), it was a clean alley. Pretty spotless, to the point that someone must have swept it. I've never been in an alley so clean.

I'm psychic, that's why I posted it. :P Your son has done more than I...I've never been in an alley, dirty or clean.

You sure bring an alley to life with your descriptions. I've never written about an alley, but want to now. :) I have read a couple of books where part of the action takes place in an alley. Great tips. Maybe an alley is in my future.

Thank you, Beverly! :)

Does anything good every happen in an alley? I don't think I've written a scene in an alley, but I must have read many. Not any particular one coming to mind except Stephen King's IT when Bev is running away from her possessed father near the end.

I don't think so, Tamara. That's why they are best to be avoided...unless you want a character to get into some trouble. ;)

I don't recall reading anything about alley's in any of the books I've read. Same goes for stories I've written. But your descriptions above does remind me of the alley scene in Dream Team. Sight of a dirty alley, Smell of urine, as others are encouraged to urinate in the alley. The sound of someone getting beat up, then murdered. An irate neighbour yelling down "what is going on down there". The course feel of the brick wall as Albert steadies himself to urinate, then sees his psychiatrist laying on the ground, feeling the cold pavement, blood in his own mouth. Your points above, certainly remind me of that scene.

That is a vivid scene. Even how you described it.

My characters have been in alleys before, but a part of me wants to always write them as normal and clean because it seems like everyone turns them into horrific, nasty places with bums fighting and people shooting up in the corner. I don't know. I mean, I've been in normal alleys before.

That's true, Madilyn. I've never heard of a clean alley in fiction. I think the dirty ones are more fun to write about in thrillers, though.

Yeah, I suppose you're right!

My first book had a murder take place in an alley. Great place to sneak up on someone with little chance of detection. Great tips!

Exactly! ;)

I did. My MC was trying to sneak away and used an alley to escape. I love the post and it looks like I'm not the only one. Well done! Anna from Elements of Writing

Thanks, Anna! In 30 Seconds, my hero and heroine use alleys to escape too. :)

No alleys for my books but I find them to be creepy places in real life. At least in cities. They're okay in small towns.

City alleys are the worst.

It seems that when I see an alley in a movie, someone is always cornered and trying to get out by going up. That is a great idea for approaching any story, by thinking about the 5 senses, thanks for the advice!

Climbing fire escapes are a good way to escape, if there are fire escapes.... ;)

Great points, here! I feel like I, like so many other writers, often neglect the other 4 senses and they're so important to make the reader really lose themselves in the writing.

I always try to use as many senses as I can. :)

Fascinating! No, I haven't read any stories that take place mostly in an alley that I can think of... maybe some short stories, but no whole books. That sounds like a tricky setting. Looks like you handled it well. I didn't know Dumpster was a proper noun. Huh. Thanks for the knowledge.

Well, yes, a novel wouldn't be able to play out entirely in an alley, but it could have a big scene set in one. :)

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BRYN DONOVAN

tell your stories, love your life

• Writing Inspiration
• Semi-Charmed Life
• Reading & Research
• Works In Progress.

Master List of Physical Description for Writers

I created this list of ways to describe people

because physical description, when done well, helps the readers see characters in their minds. But sometimes when you’re in the middle of writing, it can be hard to think of physical adjectives and distinguishing features for characters. I find that describing facial features can be especially tricky!

That’s why I created this long list of physical characteristics. It’s kind of like a character description generator, and it’ll help you when you’re trying to think of how to describe a character’s appearance.

Eyes – General

 For all the words about describing facial features, I’m focusing more on physical descriptions rather than emotional expressions, though there’s a little crossover! You can also check out my long list of facial expressions.

heavy-lidded

fringed with long lashes

with sweeping eyelashes

with thick eyelashes

By the way, this post on how to describe (and not describe) the eyes of an Asian character  is really great. Check it out.

Eyes – Color

Brown is the most common eye color by far. Green is quite rare.

chocolate brown

cocoa brown

coffee brown

sienna brown

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If you like what I do, please support me on Ko-fi!

cornflower blue

Arctic blue

glacial blue

crystal blue

electric blue

slate blue / slate gray

storm blue / storm gray

silver / silver gray

concrete gray

gunmetal gray

Skin – Color

Josh Roby made a great chart of skin tones and descriptor words, and I got a lot of these words from him. You can get that here .

The quote from N.K. Jemisin interested me: “I get really tired of seeing African-descended characters described in terms of the goods that drove, and still drive, the slave trade—coffee, chocolate, brown sugar. There’s some weird psychosocial baggage attached to that.” 

cream / creamy

rose / rosy

Skin – General

Some of these are better for the face, and some are better for other parts of the body.

translucent

luminescent

with large pores

weather-beaten

Face – Structure

heart-shaped

high forehead

broad forehead

prominent brow ridge

protruding brow bone

sharp cheekbones

high cheekbones

angular cheekbones

hollow cheeks

jutting chin

pointed chin

receding chin

double chin

dimple in chin

visible Adam’s apple

People don’t write much about noses, but they can be distinguishing features for characters!

Cupid’s bow

straight teeth

gap between teeth

gleaming white teeth

Facial Hair (or lack thereof)

clean-shaven

smooth-shaven

mutton-chop sideburns

a few days’ growth of beard

five o’ clock shadow

Hair – General

I threw a few hairstyles in here, though not many.

shoulder-length

neatly combed

slicked down / slicked back

buzzed / buzz cut

widow’s peak

Hair – Color

There are some repeats here from the eye color section!

salt and pepper

charcoal gray

brown sugar

tawny brown

toffee brown

Titian-haired

strawberry blonde

butterscotch

sandy blond

fair-haired

Body Type – General

average height

barrel-chested

heavy / heavy-set

pot-bellied

full-figured

leggy / long-legged

broad-shouldered

sloping shoulders

stubby fingers

long fingers

ragged nails

grimy fingernails

ink-stained

This list and many more are in my book Master Lists for Writers: Thesauruses, Plot Ideas, Character Traits, Names, and More . Check it out if you’re interested!

And if you don’t want to miss future writing posts, follow the blog, if you aren’t already — there’s a place to sign up on the lefthand side of the blog. Thanks for stopping by, and happy writing!

Related Posts

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127 thoughts on “ master list of physical description for writers ”.

Thanks, Bryn! This list has sparked a spark in my brain. I haven’t seen one of those for a while. I was getting worried I’d lost my flint!

I’m so glad you like it!

I love this, do you mind if we share on our blog WritersLife.org ?

Thanks for the positive feedback! You can’t reproduce it on your blog, but you can share an excerpt of 200 words or less plus a link to my site.

As a new novel writer all I can say is thank very much for sharing with us this wonderful list.

Ah you’re welcome! Thanks for visiting!

This is amazing! Thank you very much!

Thanks for the kind words–glad it seems helpful!

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Aw thank you for this it helped so much! I’m 15 and I’m trying to write a novel and this was sooooo helpful so thank you a billion 🙂 Best wishes.

Ah you’re welcome! Thanks for stopping by. Good for you for working on a novel, and good luck–I bet it will go great!

Hi, Bryn Thank you for doing these lists. They helped me a lot. Can you make a list on how to describe emotions like sadness or anger.

It’s funny you should ask 🙂 There’s a list like that in my book MASTER LISTS FOR WRITERS coming out this fall! I haven’t officially announced it yet, but hey 🙂

You can get a free copy when it comes out if you agree to give it an honest review. SIgn up for my newsletter if you’re interested!

Reblogged this on Kalynn Bayron and commented: Yes! This is great!

Was just looking for this type of lists.Great work.

This is so helpful.

I love your blog, btw. Your posts are informative and/or inspirational.

Are you on any social medial where I can follow you?

Oh, thank you so much! I just checked out your blog — I love the dream casting post! http://sbhadleywilson.com/blog/pull-ideal-cast-2/

I’m @BrynDonovan on Twitter, just followed you!

VERY helpful. I need to get basic descriptions of people done and out of the way to move on with plot. This quickens any details that might have taken me a long time to think through, or strain a sentence. Yuck. I know my females characters would pay attention to lots of physical details. not so with the males. Thanks!

Oh, so glad it’s helpful! That’s always what I’m trying to do with my lists — speed things up. I hate getting stuck on a detail and losing my momentum 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

godsent list! Bryn, I wish you more brains.

Reblogged this on Jessica Louis and commented: This list is beyond helpful. Who knew there were so many eye colors!?

Thanks Bryn your list was amazing. I’m an aspiring writer and it really helped me a lot. When I can I’m going to get a copy of your book. I think it would help me become a better writer. My genre of choice is erotic, but it is so hard to get out there, but I’m hopeful one day I will. It’s what I love to do and I’m going to keep trying.

Hi Beth! Thank you so much for the kind words. If you do get the book, I hope you like it! And good luck on writing erotica — I’m doing a “WIP Wednesday” this Wednesday where you can share a bit of your work in progress, if you like 🙂

That would be great. I have some short stories publish on a site called Literotica. I have some editing issues that I’m trying to work out, nothing a few classes wouldn’t help. How do I share my work.

I am so sorry! I missed this comment before. The next WIP Wednesday on the blog is Dec. 2… if you’re following the blog you’ll see the post! (The follow button is on the righthand side of this page.) Hope your writing’s going well 🙂

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Reblogged this on PRINCE CHARMING ISN'T HERE and commented: what an amazing list! I always have a hard time describing features! words sometimes fail me!

i loved this list! thank you so much for making it! 🙂

So glad it was helpful!

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Thank you! This is so helpful to have for reference. Occasionally I’ll have a particular word in mind and can’t think of it, and I can usually pop over here and find it right away!

I absolutely love your master lists. They have helped me so much in diversifying the words I use when I’m writing. 🙂

Ohhh thank you! That is so great to hear. 🙂 Hope your writing projects are going great!

Thank you, and they are. I’m just about to publish a works I’ve been working on for the past couple of months, which is so exciting. XD Hope all your writing projects are going great as well. 🙂

What a wonderful and thorough list Bryn. Thanks for sharing it! I will at some point ‘link back’ to this fabulous article (I’ll let you know when I do.) I’m new to your site, but will certainly be back for more! I’m fascinated to learn that you’re also a home-grown KC girl. =0) Although, I remarried and moved to California 9 years ago, KC still tugs my heart-strings.

Hey, so glad you like it! Yeah, Kansas City is a special place. Come visit anytime 🙂 And thanks for visiting my blog! — I LOVE your username, by the way. Made me smile.

thanks for following my blog!

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Reblogged this on A Blissful Garden and commented: I find this very important!

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Thanks for sharing this list! It is amazing and so helpful !

I’m going to save this as a favorite. You always provide great information Bryn. Continue with your success.

Oh, thank you so much, Christopher! I really appreciate the kind words. So glad you like this!

This list is so complete! I haven’t worked on fiction in a long while, but lately I’ve been wanting to get back into it. I know this is going to be a great help when i sit down to create my characters!

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This is absolutely perfect for aspiring writers so that we don’t have to use Microsoft Word synonyms that tend to nit have what we’re searching for. Your introductory paragraph about readers falling in love with characters’ personalities and not theit physical attributes was spot on. Thank you thank you, thank you!

Chunny! Thank you so very much for the kind words. I’m so glad you found it helpful!!

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This is amazing! Thank you! I hope it’s alright if I use this as a reference in a blog post for character development.

Hi Jacquelyn! So glad you like it. That’s fine, just please link to the post!

I read this over and over, thank you for creating this! Can I just ask, when thinking of clothing and how to describe it, what are some things you would put? (I’m making a book draft and have never needed clothing described to me as much as now)

Thank you! It’s so important that we don’t reuse the same words too often, so this will help a lot with that problem.

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Thanks for helping me. It really made a big difference of helping me come up with something.

Hi Joseph! Sorry for the delayed reply! I’m so glad you liked it. Thanks for the kind words!

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Your book “Master Lists for Writers” has helped me incredibly. I’ve always wanted to be a romance writer but didn’t have the nerve until now. I am currently working on a short story about a college girl who is assaulted by a classmate. It was based on a dream I had a few nights ago. I haven’t developed how she gets her revenge on him. I know the story line seems dark but the dream stuck with me so much, I felt the urge to turn it into a story. Thank you again for your awesome book. What a great resource

Rhonda! Thank you so much for the kind words. I am so happy that the book is helpful, and even gladder that you’re going for it and writing! Sending you best wishes on your story!

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Great advice in this post, Bryn! Thank you.

Used this for school! It was really helpful!

Oh yay! So glad it was helpful!

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This is a great list! So comprehensive, and just what I was looking for. I struggle with physical descriptions of people and have a tendency to write the same kins of attributes. So this list is fab!

This is great!

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keep up the good work

Hey thanks 🙂

This is so helpful!!!!!

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Tiptoeing out there to publish my first book (I’ve been writing a long time). This post helped so much. Thanks!

oh my gosh, thank you! You have put a lot of effort in this list. I def appreciate it 🙂

Thank you I´m always using this when I´m creating new characters.

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Incredibly helpful! Thanks a lot :3

Thank you for sharing this!

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More extensive than my general list. My wizened goatee and elder Fu Manchu thank you for sharing your time and devotion to the craft.

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Very useful for ready reference. Thank you very much.

Thanks, Mohan! So glad you liked it!

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I’ve been writing for a while, mostly for fun, but this was the one thing I could never get down, but this list is great! all around solid, and incredibly useful, I see myself using it every time I need to make a new character, good job!

You’re a legend! This is fantastic, thank you!

Hahaha, thanks for the kind words! 🙂 Glad it’s helpful!

I am following your prompts and valuable advice for writing a fantasy teen fiction novel. I think you are amazing. You might not know it but I was able to clear hundreds of my doubts through your help. Please keep up the good work and providing your valuable support to all of us upcoming writers.

Hey, thank you so much for the kind words—you made my day! It’s wonderful to hear that you’re working on YA fantasy. I’m so glad I could help, and I wish you every success!

I honestly would not recommend this as good writing advice. The focus is too much on describing someone’s physical features using analogies for food. That is not a good thing, it becomes trite and overdone. If used sparsely it’s okay but almost every word in this list is food related.

Hi, Larissa! Thanks for taking your valuable time to share your opinion.

You have done a great job preparing this Master List. Those who think such precise words for describing someone hurt their sensibilities, move on to another URL. I appreciate every bit of your effort.

Hi, Pradeep! I am so glad you like the list. Thanks so much for commenting!

Bryn, I love your master list book and use it all the time!

Ohh, thank you so much! I’m so glad it’s helpful!

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This is a godsend. I owe you my soul.

I work 20 hours per day, (regular business and writing the memoir). Just ordered the Master List–seems like having my own research assistant. I may be able to get 5 hours sleep now. Thanks

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No jaw descriptions? ;(

You saved my day with your wonderful, descriptive words! Now I’ve found the perfect features for my handsome male character. Thank you!

That is a lot of hours for books but I guess if you keep pushing it will happen.

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Hi Bryn, thanks so much for this information! I always appreciate your lists because I like comprehensive material all in one location as a reference (then if I decide to break the rules, at least I know what the rules are “supposed to be” first!). Have you considered making comprehensive lists of creative writing genre conventions (tropes, archetypes, settings, devices, etc.)?

Hello, and thank you for the valuable and useful information. I agree with Eleanore regarding the list of genre conventions. I’m more than pleased I found you website.

Thank u so much ❤️ that was so helpful

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