essay about inner strength

Courage: the Essence of Inner Strength and Bravery

This essay about courage explores its multifaceted nature beyond heroic tales, delving into its essence in everyday life. It defines courage as the strength to confront fear and make choices aligned with one’s values, emphasizing its subjective and personal dimensions. The essay highlights how courage involves both external actions and internal struggles, shaping individuals and inspiring others. Ultimately, it argues that courage is essential for personal growth, authenticity, and societal progress, challenging us to act despite fear and adversity.

How it works

Courage is often celebrated as a grandiose, almost mythical quality that elevates mere mortals into the realm of heroes. From the valiant charges of knights in folklore to the steadfast resolve of modern-day whistleblowers, the concept of courage permeates our cultural and personal narratives. But what truly defines courage? Is it the absence of fear, or the decision to act despite it?

At its core, courage is the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

This definition, however, only scratches the surface of what courage means in everyday life. Unlike the dramatic depictions we see in movies and literature, real-world courage often manifests in quieter, more personal ways.

One of the fundamental aspects of courage is the confrontation with fear. Fear is a universal experience; it does not discriminate by age, strength, or intelligence. Courage, therefore, isn’t about not feeling fear, but about recognizing it and choosing to move forward in spite of it. This could mean speaking out against injustice, standing up for oneself in a difficult personal relationship, or even pursuing a new career path that seems daunting but fulfilling.

Moreover, courage is context-dependent. What requires courage for one person might not be the same for another. For someone with social anxiety, attending a large gathering can be a profound act of bravery. For others, it might be returning to school later in life, or moving to a new country. This subjectivity is what makes courage so personal and respected; it is tailored to individual challenges and adversities.

Courage also involves a moral dimension—it often requires making choices that align with one’s values, even when those choices are unpopular, difficult, or dangerous. It can mean standing alone, going against the grain of societal expectations, or making sacrifices for the benefit of others. This type of courage is evident in people who blow the whistle on corruption within their organizations, despite the potential personal and professional repercussions.

In addition to facing external challenges, courage also encompasses the internal struggle to overcome personal limitations and self-doubt. This inner battle often goes unseen, but it is just as significant as any physical act of bravery. It involves the resilience to keep going when faced with setbacks or failures, and the strength to be vulnerable. Brené Brown, a researcher and thought leader on vulnerability, argues that showing our true selves requires courage because it exposes us to judgment and rejection.

The transformative power of courage is evident not only in how it changes situations but in how it changes individuals. Acts of courage can lead to a greater sense of self-confidence and a reaffirmation of personal values and beliefs. They can also inspire others to act bravely, creating a ripple effect that promotes more courageous actions within a community or society.

Courage, therefore, is not a one-size-fits-all attribute, nor is it confined to acts of heroism that make headlines. It is deeply woven into the fabric of everyday life, influencing how we face our fears, stand up for what we believe in, and continue to strive towards personal growth and fulfillment. The essence of courage is in the choice to act, the persistence through fear, and the commitment to live authentically in accordance with one’s principles.

In essence, understanding courage gives us a lens through which to view not just our actions but our motivations and fears. It invites us to consider not only how we act when faced with a challenge but why we act in the ways that we do. It challenges us to grow, to be better, and to inspire the same in others. This dynamic and multifaceted nature of courage makes it one of the most admired and essential qualities in human life.

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All About Psychology

Inner Strength: How to develop it?

Despite the difficulties, the obstacles that at first seem insurmountable and the problems apparently irresolvable, we have an incredible ability to overcome adversity and move forward. What guides us through the toughest situations in life is our inner strength.

Inner strength helps us recover from a serious illness, to get out of the black hole in which we fell after the the loss of a loved one and get up after a failure by recomposing the broken pieces to move on. Thanks to inner strength we not only resist adversity, but we are strengthened from the most complicated circumstances.

What is exactly the inner strength?

Inner strength is a psychological resource that promotes well-being and facilitates healing. It is the ability to protect ourselves against adversity by maintaining a positive, hopeful and optimistic attitude that allows us to project ourselves into the future, relying on our resources to deal with the problem.

Inner strength rests on three fundamental pillars:

1. Resilience. It is the force that pushes us towards survival even in the most difficult conditions, which feeds on the confidence in our capacities and resources to move forward. It implies a balance between perseverance – keeping our course in spite of everything and everyone – and the flexibility to adapt our thinking and behavior to circumstances, however hard they may be. Resilience allows us to bend without breaking, becoming survivors.

2. Meaning of life. It is the ability to find meaning in life, to explain what happens to us and understand the most difficult circumstances, so that we can choose the most appropriate coping strategies to deal with stressful situations. It also implies the full awareness that we are free to choose our attitude towards what happens, which allows us to empower ourselves and maintain a certain degree of control over the situation.

3. Self-transcendence. It is the ability to move intra, inter and transpersonally beyond the self. It implies transcending personal interests, so that we can assume a psychological distance that helps us put everything that happens to us in perspective to go one step beyond worry. Thanks to self-transcendence we can expand personal boundaries and even take the apparently more negative experiences with a sense of humor. In this way we manage to go through the difficult periods without falling apart, assuming the difficulties with greater integrity.

Why do we need to develop inner strength?

The inner strength is one of the most valuable tools for life. It is what keeps us hopeful and encourages us to move forward, which subsists when everything else has collapsed. Not only does it allow us to overcome adversity, but it helps us to better weather the storm, maintaining a more positive attitude that allows us to continue to rely on our capabilities.

A study conducted at the University of Åland, for example, found that as women age, the risk of depression increases by 20%. However, inner strength is a protective factor that not only keeps them safe from depression, but also leads them to engage in positive and meaningful activities that improve their health.

Another research conducted at the University of Utah revealed that inner strength is one of the most important factors in determining the quality of life of people who survive cancer because it allows them to face the disease with greater integrity and positivity.

We must think of inner strength as an investment for life. The more problems we face, the more we will rely on our potential to get ahead – whatever happens – and more prepared we will be to deal with future problems without falling apart. Although we do not have an action plan, even if we have never faced that obstacle, inner strength gives us the necessary thrust not to faint.

7 characteristics of people with inner strength

1. They have a locus of control internal. “Pray as if God takes care of everyone, but act as if everything depends on you”, says a popular saying. And people who have a great inner strength put it into practice to the letter. They develop a locus of control internal, which means they take charge of their lives and assume their responsibilities. They don’t blame others or the world for their problems, but try to solve them.

2. They avoid the things on what they have no influence. We tend to think that willpower is an inexhaustible source, but it is not like that. If we have spent all day exercising a strict self-control, during the night we will be more likely to fall into self-indulgence. That means that willpower is a quality that we must learn to dose. That is why people with inner strength tend to concentrate on what really counts and go beyond lost causes or those things that escape their control. This attitude allows them to focus their energy and achieve their goals. They are pragmatic people who contribute as far as they can and don’t get martyred when they can’t do more.

3. They do not complain continuously. Occasionally, complaints may have a cathartic power but the continuous complain – an endemic feature of our society – only serve to focus on the negative aspects of situations and lose extremely valuable energy and time. People with inner strength assume a different attitude: they do not sit down and cry over spilled milk, use that energy to reorganize their strategy and return to fight. They are able to focus their resources on what is really worth it.

4. They are able to adapt to circumstances, however hard they may be. People with inner strength are very flexible. Even staying true to their value system, they manage to reorganize their behavior as circumstances change. Instead of fighting against wind and tide wasting precious energy, they follow the flow and the natural course of things to achieve their goals. And when it is not possible, they are able to change their goal by considering a more affordable and rational objective. It is not about resignation but about maturity and wisdom, knowing how to distribute resources in those things that will really bear fruit.

5. They don’t try to impress anyone, their goal is to outdo themselves. In a culture as competitive as ours, many people act driven by an extrinsic motivation. That is, they look for achievements as if they were medals to hang on their chest, medals that win the approval or admiration of the others. People with inner strength do not pretend to impress anyone, they have enough confidence in themselves to pursue their own dreams. Their goal is not to be better than the others, but to overcome their own limitations.

6. They consider the past a source of information – nothing more. Most people live tied, in one way or another, to their past. However, often the past becomes too heavy a burden that prevents them from moving forward. People with inner strength, on the contrary, do not stay tied to the past, learn from their mistakes and move on. The past does not define them. They understand that failure is just an opportunity to learn and strengthen their resilience. In this way the past becomes a source of empowerment, rather than a bale of blame.

7. They apply gratitude. People with inner strength are aware of the enormous power of gratitude, so they practice it daily. That allows them to focus on positive things, instead of focusing solely on the problems and obstacles of life. It also allows them to better understand their potential and take advantage of their strengths to face adversity. By taking advantage of the effects of gratitude, these people find the tranquility and courage necessary to face any problem from a more balanced perspective.

How to develop inner strength?

– Choose a problem. The key is to choose a specific problem. You may think that life is not fair – and you are right, sometimes it is not – but that will not help you focus on your psychological resources and develop inner strength. Focus on a specific situation and analyze how it is affecting you psychologically. Check its impact on your body. How do you react physically when you think about that situation?

– Assume a psychological distance. All problems are not solved following the same path. Assuming a psychological distance from what is happening will allow you to evaluate things in perspective. You may ask yourself: What would I do if I had that problem when I was a child? What if it will show up when I’m an old man? It will also help you put yourself in someone else’s place and imagine what they would do.

– Decide, without delay. Many times we get stuck in problems because we don’t make decisions. In this way we run the risk that the problem continues to grow, and what is even worse, it will remain active as a focus of attention in our mind, causing great emotional wear. Therefore, you must ensure that you do not delay too much the decision. Do not wait for the “right” moment, because it is likely to never come. And pay more attention to your Intuitive Intelligence .

– Empower yourself with the past. You can use the past in your favor to activate inner strength. You just have to remember another difficult situation in which you also felt equally bad and remember how you got out of it. This memory exercise will help you reduce the impact of what is happening to you, will allow you understand that in the end, everything comes and everything happens, and it will help you activate trust in yourself, in your ability to go ahead.

Boman, E. et. Al. (2015) Inner strength – associated with reduced prevalence of depression among older women. Aging & Mental Health; 19(12): 1078-1083.

Dingley, C. & Roux, G. (2014) The Role of Inner Strength in Quality of Life and Self-Management in Women Survivors of Cancer. Res Nurs Health; 37(1): 32–41.

Lundman, B. et. Al. (2010) Inner Strength—A Theoretical Analysis of Salutogenic Concepts. International Journal of Nursing Studies; 47: 251–260.

Dingley, C. et. Al. (2000) Inner strength: A concept analysis. Journal of Theory Construction & Testing; 4(2): 30.

Jennifer Delgado

I am a psychologist and I spent several years writing articles for scientific journals specialized in Health and Psychology. I want to help you create great experiences. Learn more about me .

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The Importance of Building Inner Strength

I’ve hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you’ve got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include a positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination, and a warm heart. Researchers have identified other strengths as well, such as self-compassion, secure attachment, emotional intelligence, learned optimism, the relaxation response, self-esteem, distress tolerance, self-regulation, resilience, and executive functions.

I’m using the word strength broadly to include positive feelings such as calm, contentment, and caring, as well as skills, useful perspectives and inclinations, and embodied qualities such as vitality or relaxation. Unlike fleeting mental states, inner strengths are stable traits, an enduring source of well-being, wise and effective action, and contributions to others.

Here’s an example. The alarm goes off and you’d rather snooze, so you find the will to get up. Let’s say you have kids and they’re squabbling and it’s frustrating, so instead of yelling, you get in touch with that place inside that’s firm but not angry. You’re embarrassed about making a mistake at work, so you call up a sense of worth from past accomplishments. You get stressed racing around, so you find some welcome calm in several long exhalations. You feel sad about not having a partner, so you find some comfort in thinking about the friends you do have.

A well-known idea in medicine and psychology is that how you feel and act, both over the course of your life and in specific relationships and situations, is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities. For example, the challenge of a critical boss would be intensified by a person’s vulnerability to anxiety, but he or she could cope by calling on inner strengths of self-soothing and feeling respected by others.

We all have vulnerabilities. Personally, I wish it were not so easy for me to become worried and self-critical. And life has no end of challenges, from minor hassles like dropped cell phone calls to old age, disease, and death. You need strengths to deal with challenges and vulnerabilities, and as either or both of these grow, so must your strengths to match them. If you want to feel less stressed, anxious, frustrated, irritable, depressed, disappointed, lonely, guilty, hurt, or inadequate, having more inner strengths will help you.

Inner strengths are fundamental to a happy, productive, and loving life. For example, research on just one strength, positive emotions, shows that these reduce reactivity and stress, help heal psychological wounds, and improve resilience, well-being, and life satisfaction. Positive emotions encourage the pursuit of opportunities, create positive cycles, and promote success. They also strengthen your immune system, protect your heart, and foster a healthier and longer life.

On average, about a third of a person’s strengths are innate, built into his or her genetically based temperament, talents, mood, and personality. The other two-thirds are developed over time. You get them by growing them. To me this is wonderful news, since it means that we can develop the happiness and other inner strengths that foster fulfillment, love, effectiveness, wisdom, and inner peace. Finding out how to grow these strengths inside you could be the most important thing you ever learn.

So, how to do this?

Your experiences matter. Not just for how they feel in the moment but for the lasting traces they leave in your brain. Your experiences of happiness, worry, love, and anxiety can make real changes in your neural networks. The structure-building processes of the nervous system are turbocharged by conscious experience, and especially by what’s in the foreground of your awareness. Your attention is like a combination spotlight and vacuum cleaner: It highlights what it lands on and then sucks it into your brain — for better or worse.

There’s a traditional saying that the mind takes its shape from what it rests upon. Based on what we’ve learned about experience-dependent neuroplasticity, a modern version would be to say that the brain takes its shape from what the mind rests upon.

If you keep resting your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger, sadness, and guilt. On the other hand, if you keep resting your mind on good events and conditions (someone was nice to you, there’s a roof over your head), pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it, as well as a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth.

Looking back over the past week or so, where has your mind been mainly resting?

In effect, what you pay attention to-what you rest your mind on-is the primary shaper of your brain. While some things naturally grab a person’s attention-such as a problem at work, a physical pain, or a serious worry-on the whole you have a lot of influence over where your mind rests. This means that you can deliberately prolong and even create the experiences that will shape your brain for the better.

This practice of growing inner strengths is both simple and authentic. First, look for opportunities to have an experience of the strength. For example, if you are trying to feel more cared about, keep your eyes open for those little moments in a day when someone else is friendly, attentive, including, appreciative, warm, caring, or loving toward you – and let your recognition of these good facts become an experience of feeling cared about, even in small ways. Second, help this experience actually sink into your brain – the good that lasts – by staying with it a dozen seconds or more in a row, helping it fill your body, and getting a sense of it sinking into you as you sink into it.

In essence, growing inner strengths boils down to just four words, applied to a positive experience: have it, enjoy it. And see for yourself what happens when you do.

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How to Find Inner Strength When You Need it the Most

A Science-Backed Strategy for Unleashing Your Inner Superhero

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Verywell / Julie Bang

Friday Fix: Episode 57

More about the podcast.

On The Verywell Mind Podcast , Amy Morin, LCSW, shares the “Friday Fix”—a short episode featuring a quick, actionable tip or exercise to help you manage a specific mental health issue or concern.

Subscribe Now : Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

When you’re faced with a stressful situation, your brain might be quick to remind you of all the ways you’re not equipped to handle the challenge.

Whether your bills are piling up or you’re worried about a loved one with a health issue, difficult experiences raise your stress levels. And the more stressed you feel, the less likely you are to cope with the situation in a healthy way.

You may start thinking things like, “I can’t stand this!” or “I can’t do this anymore.” But believing thoughts like those will just drain you of the mental strength you need to get through the situation.

Catastrophic thoughts about your situation and your ability to cope increases your distress. And the more distressed you feel, the more difficulty you’ll have taking productive action. It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break.

Fortunately, you can take steps to reduce your distress no matter how difficult the situation.

On today’s Friday Fix, I share a quick science-backed strategy that can help you unleash your inner superhero. The truth is, you have inner strength that you draw upon and knowing how to dig deep when you need it the most can help you get through life’s toughest challenges.

The Verywell Mind Podcast is available across all streaming platforms. If you like the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts .

Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too.

Links and Resources

Follow Amy Morin on Instagram
Amy's Books on Mental Strength
10 Ways to Build Your Resilience
What Is Distress Tolerance?
Healthy Coping Skills for Uncomfortable Emotions

By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Just One Thing: Grow a Key Inner Strength

We all have issues—including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: “Life is wiggly.”) Of course, many of our issues—in the broad sense I’m using the word here—are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a business or raising a family. Still, there’s some kind of challenge.

This “Just One Thing” offers a basic road map for how to deal with issues—for healing, well-being and effectiveness, and personal growth. It’s a little longer than usual, but the approach here has helped me a lot—and I bet it will help you, too.

Some issues are out there in the world, such as financial concerns, an aging parent with dementia, a baby with colic, a tough quarter at work (or in college), a combative neighbor, or conflicts in an intimate relationship.

Some issues are in the body, such as an illness, injury, or vulnerability to dysregulated hormones.

And some issues are in the mind, like anxiety, depressed mood, low self-worth, trauma, lingering pain from childhood, learning disability, fear of public speaking, or grief over a loss.

Of course, an issue could be a combo (oh joy), such as feeling angry about being treated unfairly at work.

To deal with issues, we need resources. A fundamental model in psychology and medicine says that a person’s course—over a day or a year or a lifetime—is determined by just two factors: issues (challenges and vulnerabilities) and resources. As issues increase, so must resources as well.

Resources can be found out in the world, in your body, and in your mind. The location of the resource does not need to be linked to the location of the issue. For example, better health insurance (resource in the world) could help with a chronic illness (issue in the body), and more self-confidence (resource in the mind) could help with the need to assert yourself at work (issue in the world).

I’m going to focus here on resources in your mind: what I call inner strengths. These include:

Capabilities like mindfulness, emotional intelligence, resilience;
Positive emotions , such as gratitude, love, self-compassion;
Attitudes like openness, confidence, determination;
Somatic inclinations like relaxation, grit, helpfulness); and
Virtues like, generosity, courage, wisdom.

This is the good stuff we want to have inside ourselves.

Rick Hanson talks in Berkeley

The Greater Good Science Center is pleased to present a day-long presentation on March 14, 2015, by our senior fellow and best-selling author Rick Hanson. In "Taking in the Good," he'll explore specific steps for cultivating inner strengths. Register now !

Sure, it’s also good to do what you can to increase the resources out in your world (like nurturing a friendship with someone at work) and in your body (such as getting more exercise). But it’s often slow and difficult to build resources in the world and the body; you likely have more influence over growing resources in your mind. And as the resources in your mind grow, that will help you build resources in your body and your world.

To grow your inner strengths—particularly the key inner strengths that will help the most with an issue—consider the four questions below. You can use them for yourself or explore them with others. Throughout, it’s good to have an attitude of curiosity, kindness toward oneself, and resourcefulness.

1. What’s the issue?

Pick an issue. (Maybe you’re the rare person with just one.) Try to be reasonably specific. “Life sucks” could feel unfortunately true, but it doesn’t help you focus on resources or solutions.

If the issue is located in your world or body, be mindful of how it affects you psychologically. Sometimes we just can’t do anything about a condition in the world or body, but at least we can do something about our reactions to it.

2. What psychological resource—inner strength—if it were more present in your mind, would really help with this issue?

This is the key question. It can be interestingly difficult to answer, so an initial confusion or struggle with it is common. Clues toward an answer could come from exploring these questions:

What, if you felt or thought it more, would make things better?
What—if you had felt it more as a child, or whenever the issue began—would have made a big difference?
Does the issue ever get better for you—and if so, what factors in your mind (e.g., perspectives, feelings, motivations) help it be better?
Deep down, related to this issue, what does your heart long for?

There could be more than one resource, of course, but for simplicity and focus, it does help to zero in on just one or two key resources at a time.

Sometimes we need to grow an intermediate resource (e.g., capacity to tolerate feeling rejected, so that we are willing to risk experiencing that feeling) in order to get at the key resource we need to develop inside (e.g., inclination to ask for love).

3. How could you have experiences of this inner strength?

In other words, how could you activate it in your mind so that you can install it in your brain? This is the first step— Have —of the HEAL process; you can learn more about it in my book, Hardwiring Happiness , or in this video on “Taking in the Good”:

It could be that the resource is already present and you just need to notice it (e.g., the feeling that the body is basically alright right now). But often, you need to deliberately create it (e.g., call up a sense of determination from the emotional/somatic memory of times you pushed through a difficulty). In Hardwiring Happiness , I go through 16 ways to have (to activate) a beneficial experience, and you could draw upon one or more of these methods.

4. How could you help this experience of the inner strength really sink in to you?

In other words, how could you enhance the installation, the neural encoding, of this experience to grow this resource inside yourself?

This involves the second and third steps of the HEAL process: Enrich and Absorb .

If you like, you can be aware of both the resource (e.g., feeling determined) and one or more psychological aspects of the issue (e.g., feeling helpless) so that the resource starts associating with and helping with these aspects of the issue. This is the fourth, optional step of the HEAL process: Link .

The ultimate multivitamin

Whew. This probably seems like a lot. But in practice it’s simple and straightforward. To use a metaphor, if you have scurvy, what would really help would be some vitamin C. What’s your vitamin C these days?

When you know what your vitamin C is, daily life becomes full of opportunities to notice or create experiences of this inner strength, this key psychological resource. And then you can take it into yourself, making it a part of you that’s with you wherever you go.

If this key resource is not yet clear for you, you can always look for authentic chances to feel cared about (such as included, seen, appreciated, liked, or loved). Love, broadly defined, is the ultimate multivitamin!

About the Author

Rick Hanson

Rick Hanson, Ph.D. , is a psychologist, senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His seven books have been published in 33 languages and include Making Great Relationships , Neurodharma , Resilient , Hardwiring Happiness , Just One Thing , Buddha’s Brain , and Mother Nurture —with over a million copies in English alone.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Bravery — Inner Strength: The Building Block of the Individual

Inner Strength: The Building Block of The Individual

Categories: Bravery Confidence

About this sample

Words: 708 |

Published: Jul 30, 2019

Words: 708 | Pages: 2 | 4 min read

Works Cited:

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Beasley, C., & Bacchi, C. (Eds.). (2019). Gender and politics: theory and concepts. SAGE Publications.
Crenshaw, K. (1989). Demarginalizing the intersection of race and sex: A black feminist critique of antidiscrimination doctrine, feminist theory and antiracist politics. University of Chicago Legal Forum, 139-167.
International Labor Organization. (2021). Violence and harassment against women and men in the world of work. International Labor Organization.
Kabeer, N. (2021). Gender and development: concepts and definitions. Routledge.
Llaveria, M. (2020). Women's organizations in Latin America: dynamics and challenges. Política y Sociedad, 57(2), 315-335. doi: 10.5209/poso.69795
UN Women. (2020). Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment: A Sustainable Development Goal. United Nations.
United Nations. (2015). Transforming our world: the 2030 agenda for sustainable development. United Nations.
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World Economic Forum. (2021). The global gender gap report. World Economic Forum.

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What Is Inner Strength and How to Develop and Improve It

What is inner strength?

Inner strength means the possession of willpower, self-discipline, and staying power.
Resilience, perseverance, and tenacity.
It means inner fortitude.
It expresses itself as assertiveness, courage, and the ability to withstand difficulties and obstacles.
Inner strength is like a powerful engine that drives you forward towards accomplishment and achievement.
It is like a powerful battery that gives you the power, endurance, and discipline to carry on in situations where others fail or break down emotionally and physically.

Inner strength is essential for carrying out tasks, chores, and decisions and achieving goals. Without it, it’s difficult to start anything, and it’s difficult to get to the finish line.

We need inner strength in our lives. We need it to deal with stressful people, our boss, and our employees.
Teachers need it when teaching and dealing with difficult children.
Business people need it for dealing with customers and when plans do not proceed in the way they want.
It is an essential skill for athletes to help them persevere with their training and to keep going in contests.
We need it to keep our patience and deal with impatient people.

This list can go on and on.

This skill is erroneously considered as belonging only to highly successful people.

The truth is that everyone can develop inner strength. Everyone can improve this power with some training.

What Are the Benefits of Inner Strength?

Sometimes, in certain circumstances, people display a great degree of inner strength they did not know they possessed.

Many break down in difficult or dangerous situations, but some display some unexplainable power and help themselves and others.

To make this power available to you at any time, you need to cultivate it. This requires training.

Inner strength enables you to control unnecessary and harmful impulses and habits
If you tend to be lazy, developing this skill will help you overcome laziness.
If you procrastinate , it will help you stop procrastinating.
Inner strength can enhance your self-esteem and self-control.
Cultivating and gaining inner strength will give you more control over your life.
It makes it easier to make decisions and follow them through.
It gives you the courage and strength to endure difficulties and hardships.

You need this ability to do a good job, to succeed in business, to study, lose weight, exercise, maintain good relationships, change habits, self-improvement, meditation, spiritual growth, keep promises, and for almost everything else.

Do You Lack Inner strength?

How many times have you wished you had more inner strength, willpower, or self-discipline?

How many times have you lacked the persistence and inner stamina to follow your decisions and plans?

Do you admire and respect strong individuals who have overcome obstacles and difficulties and reached far because of their inner strength?

Most people are not born with inner strength, but it can be developed like any other skill.

A great number of people lack the inner strength to say “no”.
Many find it difficult to display assertiveness.
Many people lack the inner strength to follow their dreams.
Some, are afraid to take action and make changes , preferring to leave things as they are.
Some people lack the resolution and the persistence to go on with their plans to the end.

How to Cultivate Inner Strength

You can cultivate your inner strength, even if you lack it now. How far you go and how strong you become depends on your earnestness, ambition, and the time devoted to this pursuit.

Developing this ability requires training your willpower and self-discipline. It is a gradual process that is highly beneficial.

I have emphasized the importance of developing willpower and self-discipline in my article on this topic and in my book Strengthen Your Willpower and Self Discipline .

Contrary to erroneous beliefs:

You do not require super ordinary powers to gain inner willpower, self-discipline, and inner strength.
You do not need to sleep on a bed of nails, fast, or stand on one foot for days, as fakirs supposedly do.
The concept that the development of inner strength requires you to undergo suffering and physical hardships is not true.

You get stronger through constant practice, just like exercising your muscles at a gym makes your muscles stronger. In both cases, when you need inner power or physical strength, they are available to you and are at your immediate disposal.

Steps and Exercises for Gaining Inner Strength

Here are a few steps and exercises to increase your inner strength:

Refuse to satisfy unimportant or unhealthy desires of yours. Stop and think how unimportant and meaningless they are.
Strive to carry out important tasks, even if you feel inner resistance to make the effort. Refusing to satisfy useless, harmful, or unnecessary desires and abstaining from negative reactions adds to your inner strength.
Don’t read the newspaper for a few days.
Now and then, drink your coffee or tea without sugar.
Climb up the stairs instead of taking the lift.
Park your car a little farther away from your destination so that you have to walk.
Now and then, choose not to watch one of your favorite TV programs.
Read a book that is useful and informative but which you find boring.
Curb your desire to criticize people.
Delay your desire to retort angrily.
Strive to get out of bed quickly on a cold day.
Be more mindful of your actions.
Learn to respond calmly, while using your common sense, instead of reacting instinctively and with anger or impatience. Showing more compassion and forgiveness are an act of inner strength, especially when people display resentment and anger and are unable to forgive.

Though the exercises seem simple, their practice adds you inner strength.

These exercises are only a few examples to show you how you can develop your inner strength. By practicing these or similar exercises, you gain inner power, which you can use when you are in need of it.

Practicing these simple exercises, will develop your inner muscles, just like lifting barbells develops your physical muscles.

After practicing the above mentioned exercises, I strongly advise you to read and practice the exercises in the book about willpower and self-discipline . You will find in this book a simple but powerful and systematic method of training.

In time, you would gain control over yourself, your habits, your reactions and your life. This will take you closer to achieving you dreams and your goals.

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David Goggins: How to Build Immense Inner Strength

Listen or watch on your favorite platforms.

In this episode, my guest is David Goggins, retired Navy SEAL, highly accomplished ultramarathoner, best-selling author, and influential public speaker.

David explains how he mastered his inner dialogue to build extraordinary levels of discipline and mental and physical toughness.

He describes how confronting his early hardships, including physical and mental abuse, learning disorders, and obesity, became a practice of deep and excruciating self-reflection — eventually allowing him to transmute those experiences into a superhuman work ethic.

This conversation is a unique window into David Goggins’ process in that it focuses both on the underlying science and how David manages and directs his inner dialogue.

It’s a conversation that will inform and inspire anyone wondering how exactly to go about building discipline and confidence and reach their potential.

Note: This conversation includes profanity. Some content might not be suitable for all audiences and ages.

‍ ‍ Joe Rogan Experience #1906 – David Goggins ‍
Guest Series | Dr. Paul Conti: How to Improve Your Mental Health
‍ ‍ " Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds "
‍ " Never Finished: Unshackle Your Mind and Win the War Within "

About this Guest

David goggins.

David Goggins is a retired Navy SEAL, highly accomplished ultramarathoner, best-selling author, and influential public speaker.

Merchandise
00:00:00 David Goggins
00:03:22 Sponsors: Maui Nui, AeroPress & Eight Sleep
00:07:58 Learning, Studying & Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
00:14:59 Writing & Learning, ADHD & Focus
00:20:35 Friction, Focus, “Conqueror’s Mindset”
00:25:16 Early Hardships, “Haunted”
00:30:48 Anger, Social Media; Growth & Challenges
00:36:14 Sponsor: AG1
00:37:11 Stick vs. Carrot, Negative Inner Dialogue, “Stay Hard”
00:42:39 Inspiration, Characters & Self Image
00:46:09 Willpower & Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex
00:53:23 Friction & the “Suck”, Willpower
00:59:14 Building Willpower, Brain & “No Days Off” Mentality
01:08:52 Sponsor: InsideTracker
01:09:54 Losing Weight, Challenge & Willpower
01:18:47 Self-Criticism & Discipline; Recovery; Stutter & Building Confidence
01:26:45 Relationships & Honest Conversations, People Pleasing
01:34:49 Self-Reflection & Empowerment
01:39:06 Unseen Work, Real Passion & Purpose, Medicine Cabinet Analogy
01:46:32 Feeling Lost, Self-Reflection & Individual Process
01:54:11 Challenges & Two Internal Voices, Misunderstood
01:59:32 Running, Smoke Jumping; Success; Willpower & Perishable Skills
02:07:04 Self-Reflection & Action, Distractions
02:15:27 Inner Dialogue; Failing Properly
02:24:59 Introspection & Unconscious Mind, Cleaning “Cupboards”
02:35:19 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

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ANDREW HUBERMAN: Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. My guest today is David Goggins. David Goggins is a retired Navy SEAL who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. He's also a highly accomplished ultramarathon runner.

For those of you that don't know, ultramarathons are distances longer than 26 miles and, in David's case, often longer than 200 miles. For his achievements in athletics, he has been inducted into the International Sports Hall of Fame. He also held a Guinness World Record for the most pull-ups completed in 24 hours. I should mention that not only was David a decorated Navy SEAL, but he also graduated from Army Ranger School.

David is also a highly successful writer, having authored two books, the first entitled "Can't Hurt Me" and the second entitled "Never Finished," both of which are best sellers. David's books cover many topics, including his autobiographical description of what can only be described as an incredibly challenging child and young adulthood. His home was abusive. His school environment was abusive. He essentially had no positive resources directed his way and.

In his 20s, he found himself to be obese, that is, more than 300 pounds working a job he despised for minimal pay. And it was at that point that David began an inner dialogue that forced him to explore the demons born out of his childhood but also the position that he found himself in as a young man and then began the journey to navigate that dialogue and transform himself into the Navy SEAL, the ultramarathon runner, the bestselling author, and the extraordinarily positive and influential man that he is today.

As some of you may know, David has done various public lectures. He's a familiar face online because there are so many clips of him on YouTube. And he has done podcasts before. However, I'm certain that you'll find today's discussion to be very different than previous podcasts that David has been featured on.

The reason is that-- of course, we get into his accomplishments. We talk about the mindset that allowed him to achieve those things. But, today, David really lets us under the hood. He lets us into the form of inner dialogue that he has to embrace, indeed that he has to grapple with on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times throughout the day and night in order to impose the sort of self-discipline that he is so well known for.

We also get into some of the scientific mechanisms underlying willpower. And we talk about David's current endeavors that include, for instance, his own exploration of science and medicine for which he has become an intense scholar and practitioner. I should mention that multiple times throughout today's discussion you will hear curse words.

Now David and I both acknowledge that cursing isn't for everybody and that cursing itself is different than cursing at somebody. Nonetheless, we do realize that many people, parents perhaps especially, might not want to hear cursing. If you don't want to hear cursing, well, then this podcast episode is probably not for you.

However, if you are comfortable with cursing or if you can tolerate it, I assure you today's discussion is highly worthwhile. Before we begin, I'd like to emphasize that this podcast is separate from my teaching and research roles at Stanford. It is, however, part of my desire and effort to bring zero cost to consumer information about science and science-related tools to the general public.

In keeping with that theme, I'd like to thank the sponsors of today's podcast. Our first sponsor is Maui Nui Venison. Maui Nui Venison is the most nutrient dense and delicious red meat available. I've spoken before on this podcast and there's general consensus that most people should strive to consume approximately 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight.

Now when one strives to do that, it's important to maximize the quality of that protein intake to the calorie ratio because you don't want to consume an excess of calories when trying to get that 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight. Maui Nui Venison has an extremely high quality protein to calorie ratio. So it makes getting that 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight extremely easy. It's also delicious.

Personally, I like the ground venison. I also like the venison steaks. And then for convenience when I'm on the road, I like the jerky. The jerky has a very high protein to calorie ratio. So it has as much as 10 grams of protein per jerky stick, and it has something like only 55 calories, so, again, making it very easy to get enough protein without consuming excess calories. If you would like to try Maui Nui Venison, you can go to mauinuivenison.com/huberman to get 20% off your first order. Again, that's mauinuivenison.com/huberman to get 20% off.

Today's episode is also brought to us by AeroPress. AeroPress is similar to a French press for making coffee, but it is, in fact, a much better way to make coffee. I first learned about AeroPress well over 10 years ago. And I've been using one ever since. AeroPress was developed by Alan Adler, who was an engineer at Stanford.

And I knew of Alan because he had also built the so-called Aerobie Frisbee, which I believe at one time, perhaps still now, held the Guinness Book of World Records for furthest thrown object. And I used to see Alan, believe it or not, at parks around Palo Alto testing out different Aerobie Frisbees. So he was sort of famous in our community for developing these different feats of engineering that turned into commercial products.

Now I love coffee. I'm somebody that drinks coffee nearly every day, usually about 90 to 120 minutes after I wake up in the morning, although not always. Sometimes if I'm going to exercise, I'll drink coffee first thing in the morning. But I love, love, love coffee. And what I've personally found is that by using the AeroPress, I can make the best possible tasting cup of coffee.

I don't know what exactly it is in the AeroPress that allows the same beans to be prepared into a cup of coffee that tastes that much better as compared to any other form of brewing that coffee, even the traditional French press. The AeroPress is extremely easy to use. And it's extremely compact.

In fact, I take it with me whenever I travel. And I use it on the road, in hotels, even on planes. I'll just ask for some hot water, and I'll brew my coffee or tea right there on the plane. If you'd like to try AeroPress, you can go to aeropress.com/huberman.

That's A-E-R-O-P-R-E-S-S dotcom slash Huberman to get 20% off any aeropress coffeemaker. AeroPress ships anywhere in the USA, Canada, and over 60 other countries around the world. Again, that's aeropress.com/huberman to get 20% off.

Today's episode is also brought to us by Eight Sleep. Eight Sleep makes smart mattress covers with cooling, heating, and sleep tracking capacity. I've spoken many times before on this podcast about the fact that sleep is the foundation of mental health, physical health, and performance.

Now a key component of getting a great night's sleep is that in order to fall and stay deeply asleep, your body temperature actually has to drop by about 1 to 3 degrees. And in order to wake up feeling refreshed and energized, your body temperature actually has to increase by about 1 to 3 degrees. One of the best ways to make sure that those temperature changes occur at the appropriate times, at the beginning and throughout and at the end of your night when you wake up, is to control the temperature of your sleeping environment.

And that's what Eight Sleep allows you to do. It allows you to program the temperature of your mattress and sleeping environment such that you fall and stay deeply asleep easily and wake up each morning feeling incredibly refreshed and energized. I've been sleeping on an Eight Sleep mattress cover for almost three years now. And it has dramatically improved the quality of my sleep.

If you'd like to try Eight Sleep, you can go to eightsleep.com/huberman to get $150 off their Pod 3 mattress cover. Eight Sleep currently ships in the USA, Canada, UK, select countries in the EU, and Australia. Again, that's eightsleep.com/huberman.

And now for my discussion with David Goggins. David Goggins, welcome.

DAVID GOGGINS: My man. Good to see you again, man.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Great to see you. It was late 2016, early 2017, I believe, when you were in my lab at Stanford.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yes sir.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: We did a little work later that day down in San Jose. And, gosh, see you everywhere, but it's not enough. So great to have you here.

DAVID GOGGINS: Thanks for having me on, brother.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Yeah. You embody discipline and doing hard things. I think we should just start right off with--

DAVID GOGGINS: Yeah. Let's just go there.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: --the bold truth. But right before we went hot mics, we were talking about learning. Right now, you're spending some time learning and doing things that I think most people probably don't typically associate David Goggins with.

DAVID GOGGINS: Right.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Why don't you tell us about that?

DAVID GOGGINS: Well, most people just look at me as the guy that runs and yells as he's running. While I do that to motivate people, but people don't understand that my day is broken up into segments. I work out. I eat. I sleep, but I spend most of my time studying.

So like I'm in the medical world. I'm a paramedic in Canada. But I spend a lot of my time trying to nuke every single thing about it because I'm not trying to just be a paramedic, learn about veins, and arteries, and how the heart pumps, and stuff like that. I'm trying to learn to the point where I can save someone's life.

And even though paramedics are doing that all over the world, I'm trying to be that paramedic that can really dissect exactly what's going on and figure out what medication goes where, just trying to learn the algorithm of what's going on, man. So I spent a lot of time with it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I love the word algorithm because when I teach biology or try and learn anything that's related to biology and especially the human body, I need to know the nouns. But it's the verbs that matter. And that's really what you're talking about. Just saying that sits there, that brain part there, doesn't tell you how it all works together.

So what does your process for studying look like? If we dropped a camera in the room, brought a microphone into your inner dialogue-- gosh, wouldn't we all love that. But if we dropped a microphone into your inner dialogue, are you waking up looking at the books and going, yeah, fresh day, let's learn or is some of the same resistance that you've talked about coming up around physical work, is that coming up from time to time?

DAVID GOGGINS: You know what, I was nervous at first. I'm going to keep it real. I'm going to keep it real. So I'm not a real smart guy. And what I mean by that is I was born with ADD, ADHD. Like my brain cannot retain information. I'm not some genetic freak when it comes to running, when it comes to lifting weights. I am absolutely the bottom of the barrel.

And people will never believe me. And they can just whatever. Believe what you want to believe. So when you ask me this question about what does studying look like for me, I have to go over the same page over, and over, and over, and over again, while Jennifer can look at that page while she's quizzing me, she'll learn it right then as she's-- she didn't know anything about it. She will quiz herself or quiz me and learn it as she's quizzing me. It's the most frustrating thing in the world how my brain works.

So what I do is I literally sit there with a pen and paper. And I have my books. And I go through and have to write everything down every single day. I will study the same page until it's photographic memory from writing the same thing down. And then from there, I'll go back through and relearn it again. So I'll learn the bulk of it.

But then I'll go through and learn the small things within that. So if it's a medication, I'll learn what the medication does. First, I'll learn how to even say the medication because these medications aren't like albuterol. No, it's very big words. So I'll go through, learn how to say the name.

Then I'll go through learn what the dose is. Then I'll go through-- and this is like every single day. So it's not like, oh, I got it. Let's just go through-- no, nothing is I got it. Every single thing-- so I can't wait to get in this conversation because everything I do in life, it sucks.

Everything I do in life, it sucks. That's why when I was 300 pounds and 24 years old, it wasn't like I had some big epiphany of let's just go be a Navy SEAL, and let's lose some weight. No, I knew my entire life was going to be a struggle, which is why I just ignored it.

And I said, I'm not even trying to jump off any of this shit and learn how to read, how to write, how to memorize, how to become something I am not. But through that process, something happened to me. And I realized-- this is why I feel sorry for no one. In this podcast, they're going to really not like me because people are going to think that I am maybe lying or maybe fibbing or exaggerating. No, I am literally-- I was the lowest form on Earth, no talent, no ability to learn. And I literally know what it is to be rock bottom and to build that up.

So that question about learning is the pain in my ass. And I don't have to do it. Just think about it. I'm 49 years old, and I'm a multi-millionaire. I don't have to do anything. So all I thought about when I was growing up is, man, I can't wait to one day get to the point where I no longer have to do this stuff.

But what happened as I got older, it became a way of living. So how I do every day is how I do every day. It's a discipline. It's a regimen. It was a choice I made.

And the choice I made was what are you willing to sacrifice, and what are you willing to give up to find every bit of who you are as a human being? And I was willing to give up everything to do that. So studying is no joke.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I love that you're studying. I recall a few years ago, I heard some interview or podcast with you. And you just threw out like I don't know what I'll do next. Maybe I'll be a scientist.

And I went yeah. Because I knew-- because I know you a bit. And I see your work out there, but we had met before, that if you decided that you were going to do it-- and learning medicine, which is what you're doing, learning human physiology is so detailed.

DAVID GOGGINS: Very.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And people out there have to understand when you look at a textbook and you see the veins and the capillaries different colors, when the body is open, they're not different colors.

DAVID GOGGINS: Right, right, right.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So I mean, some things have different color contrasts, but it's not like it's all labeled when you pop it open.

DAVID GOGGINS: Exactly.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And so the process of writing things down by hand is important for you. So you go back and read those notes. Do you think about that stuff on your runs too or are you segmenting your day like when you're done studying, are you heading out for a run and thinking about other things? Or are you still rehearsing the material in your head?

DAVID GOGGINS: So when I write it down, I write it down, and I'm able to-- I'm actually looking down at this table right now because I'm back to writing. So I'm actually there right now as I'm speaking to you. I write it down in a way that I'm memorizing page 69. So I'm writing it down. So then writing it down and that page sync together in my brain.

So I'm looking at the book in my brain right now. That's just how it works for me. And I have to do it over and over again. So that page is stuck in my mind. So I'm literally flipping through pages as I'm taking these tests. And I'm taking these national tests to become a paramedic or become an advanced EMT or whatever. I'm literally as I'm taking that test I'm going through. And I'm like-- now I'm flipping pages in my head where that page was.

And how I do that is just from how I write it and how it's on the page. When I run, I can't recall any of it. I cannot bring any of that because I'm running. How my mind is wired now is that everything I do is what I do. Because the focus it takes for me to-- right now, I'm running.

I'm not like a great runner. I'm not like injury free. So like my first 20 minutes of the run I'm limping. I'm literally limping because I've had several knee surgeries. And my body was twisted. And so now it's untwisting.

So people look at me, oh, looks, like he's limping when he runs. I am limping when I run. My body is jacked up so I'm focusing on how to get the best out of a broken body. So everything I do is a total focus on what I'm doing at that point in my life.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So it seems like you've really trained away or somehow gotten away from the ADD that you mentioned because what you described is like a deep trench. It's like a V shaped trench. I'm imagining like there's a ball bearing, and it's like, phewp, and it can only go forward in that trench or back. And it goes forward. It's not like sliding around at the concave at the bottom, zip-zip-zip, like a tension.

So it's like you trained that up. Is there a similar feeling when you're in the full focus of running versus full focus of studying? Does it kind of feel like, oh yeah, that's the same groove but different thing or is it just completely different world?

DAVID GOGGINS: It's a completely different world. Both of them for me is suffering, but it's suffering a whole different way. Like when I was going through school, I never forget-- I think I was in third grade. And back then, ADD, ADHD, wasn't like here's this medicine or here's this thing. They want to put you in a special school. So for me, I was so far behind in learning that their big thing was let's just put him in a special school because he'll never learn.

And through that process of like I don't want to be in a special school, I don't want to be treated any differently, it really-- like I never took medication. I've never taken medication for this. That's why right now you see me looking right in your eyes. What the hell is Huberman saying right now.

And that's why I don't feel bad for people who have ADHD, who have learning disabilities. And some are impossible because you just can't. But a lot of them you can. But people don't want to go through the process of focus, of teaching yourself how to truly focus. This is where my message gets lost. It gets lost because I may say MF or F because that's the passion that comes out of me. It takes everything for me to learn a sentence.

So when I speak about David Goggins, I can't speak about David Goggins in a way that's just calm and cool. Because when I wake up, I know the journey that it takes for me to find my greatness. And it's hard. Nothing is easy. Nothing just like, oh, I wake up, and I just do this or I do that or it just-- no, I watch people every day go through life, and it's so easy.

For me to be where I'm at today, it takes every bit of me. So when I speak about it, and as I get going here, you'll start seeing me-- the tempo will rise. The passion will come out because I'm back there. I'm doing what I do every day to become a human being. And so nothing is easy.

Like running is running. It sucks. But you have a choice to make. Do you want to sit down and go back to that guy you once were? No. So this is what it takes.

It takes that misunderstanding of people. And they'll never get it because they were never David Goggins. So that is what it takes for me to do what I do. It may take you something differently.

So for me, everything has to be in the study. Everything has to be into this. Everything has to be in-- everywhere I am it has to be there, me, focused where I am. That's why you're my second podcast I've done since Rogan, since the book came out. I don't have time for that shit because if I want to be great, I'm not trying to maximize money or maximize people knowing me. I do these things because maybe someone out there will understand me and get it and say, I can grow from this guy, and others just won't.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Sounds like friction is something you're very familiar with. It's a word just I feel like is like cast above us right now in bold face, highlighted, underlined letters.

DAVID GOGGINS: Friction is growth.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Friction, like you're up in the morning. And I imagine David Goggins going to the coffee maker, stretching out, good morning, sunshine. And you're telling me from eyelids open there's friction.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yes, and that is the thing that people don't-- they don't fucking get. The biggest misunderstanding about David Goggins of all time-- it's like whether you believe in God or not-- I do-- he put this lab rat, which is me, on this planet and said let me fucking see what a beat up, abused kid who can barely learn, barely learn, who has a twisted body, messed up genetics, sickle cell, this and that, let me give him everything that pretty much disqualifies you from the military.

But back then, it wasn't as-- and let's put him in this and see what comes out of it. So to do that, friction-- you don't wake up in the morning time and go to the coffee maker. Matter of fact, sometimes you don't even sleep. What it requires is when I'm at-- 2 o'clock-- it's 2 o'clock in the morning. And my brain is thinking about a fucking drug. And I got to get up and look in my book to see what that drug is, how I remember it.

And this is every day of my fucking life. That's why when I train a fighter or I train someone, I'm like, you have no fucking idea how great you really are because you are using such minimal, minimal of what you have. And if people can learn to focus, this is what's possible. While it may not be pretty-- like people want to do a documentary on me. I go no.

I don't want to do a documentary on me because I will have normal everyday people picking me apart. Oh, his life is miserable. Who wants to live like that? It's crazy how he-- it's almost like he's sick. He's psychotic.

The most frustrating thing in the world for me is when normal people judge a man like myself on what it really takes to extract greatness from nothing. It takes every bit of who you are if you choose that route. If you don't, Merry Christmas, do what you got to do.

But, yeah, all these things for me-- like I told you, man, I'm going to keep it real. I'm not coming here to talk about perform without purpose because I go through-- when I write these books, I go through, I try to dumb down David Goggins. How can I give normal people-- and I'm normal. But I found something that most don't want to find. How can I speak to people and give them something from this crazy psychotic brain that I've developed? How can I give them that?

So I sit down with Jennifer for years and write down perform without purpose, callus your mind, armor your mind, the cookie jar, the accountability mirror, shit that people can fucking use in their lives. No, no, I'm glad it helps you. But the barbaric life that I live that you have to live, the almost obsession that you must have to be great, you can't put that shit in a fucking book, bro. You can't put in a book. You can't. You can't write about it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It has to be experienced.

DAVID GOGGINS: It has to be experienced. And you can't even-- after you experience it, to write it in the book, it would seem like he needs to be locked up.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Too gory.

DAVID GOGGINS: It's too gory. Doesn't make sense for a guy that everything, every second of the day he is trying to extract more from something. He's constantly thinking. He's constantly, constantly disciplined, never going off the path. Whatever is injured on him, he figures away. It's a conquerors mindset.

And very few people, if any, can really understand what that is. Like I'm almost 50. And I've been this way for almost 30 years. Like what do you do for fun? These questions, I don't get them. I don't understand them. I don't-- so yeah.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I get asked that sometimes, what do you do for fun. I start listing off all this stuff like podcasting, reading, working out. So some of that resonates. But I think what's so truly unusual about what you're describing, your process is that from go it's hard. And I have to ask was being 300 pounds, having essentially-- I'm using the words you've described.

DAVID GOGGINS: No, do it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: You've said it before. You had a tendency at one point in your life early on tell lies, try and get people's approval.

DAVID GOGGINS: Lied my ass off.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Crazy haircuts, attention seeking, and yet all of that triggered something that now is extraordinary. Do you think those hardships were necessary to flip the switch?

DAVID GOGGINS: I don't know if they were necessary, but it was something that made me feel-- I didn't feel good. It was easy. The brain that I was given as a child, it was easy to go home and think about, how do I want to be a freak today? How do I want to show up to school today and be a freak? It didn't require me going home and opening a book up saying, it's going to take me all year to learn this fucking page.

So instead of learning that page, I learned how to become a character. And maybe that character that I created, that 300 pound, insecure guy that used to fake it till I make it type of guy, let me become your friend, let me lie to you until you like me type of guy-- when you have any manhood, womanhood, a human being, a soul, a spirit, any-- I must have just this much pride because that's exactly what opened the door for me. Because every day, you were a character.

Every day, you were a clown. Every day, you opened that Spanish book or that science book or English book, and you looked at it. It looked like a foreign language. And you're saying, where do I start? Where do I start? And, obviously, it was necessary. The more I talk about it, it was necessary because what happened is I became haunted by the mere fact that this is my existence.

And you got to live with that. And I lived with it for a lot of years. And so I sat back and said, OK, all right, I know what this takes. And when you sit back, as fucked up as I was-- and I had a laundry list, a table like this of what I have to do to become just a human being that can make ends meet, that can make $1,000 a month.

Just to get there was like, oh my god, dude, like how-- I'm 16, 17, I can't read. I can't write. Oh my god, I'm so behind the power curve. And my brain is about being depressed. And my dad beat-- my mom's not home. And kids are calling me nigger at school.

And I'm like, oh my god, man, what the fuck do I do? And it wasn't like someone came around and said, hey, man, you can do this. This is all me.

Some people want to know where does this cold man come from. I'm not trying to be cold. It's the reality of my life. It's the reality of a lot of people's lives. And so, yeah, that had to happen for me to be haunted, to be haunted, to pull out, to extract the guy that I am today. That haunting is something that's still there today because no matter how much you improve, no matter how much you change who you are, it's not permanent.

You don't just wake up and say, oh my god, man, you're David Goggins. You break records. You do this. You do that. People want to know, how are you able to just be so hard? Because I never turn the fucking thing off.

Because once it turns off, I go right back to the David Goggins that is. And that's the guy that I'm constantly fighting every day. And it's a choice. And that choice makes you misunderstood. It makes you crazy. That's why I hate fucking social media.

In 2013, people wanted me to write my book. I did it in 2018. Took five years. And the reason why I didn't do it-- I sat at the table, and Jennifer was there. This was before she started working for me, I started dating her or whatever. And all these people were there. And they're like, man, you got to go on social media.

And I was like, fuck you, man. It's poison. It's poison because I knew what I did to get where I am. And I'm going to have these people, these normal, everyday people, fat, lazy, exactly who I was judging me. Because I know it because I was once them.

All my hard work, all my dedication, I'm going to have some normal dude get his little brownie, his little Ding Dong, Ho Ho, Twinkie, sit there with his coffee picking me apart. Oh, he must be unhappy. Do you know how hard it is to put these shoes on every damn morning? And I'm gonna have you pick me apart?

So, yeah, there's so much that goes into this that I was like fuck this. I never wanted anything to do with it. So anyway.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I'm not a psychologist. But knowing your story from what you've written, what you've said on social media, and elsewhere, podcasts and here now especially, it's amazing to me, and, frankly, it pulls at my heartstrings a little bit I realize that's not what you're trying to do but that in the course of your childhood and in your young adulthood that no one ever got between you and the world.

I forget where I heard it that if a kid has just one person that believes in them-- and I had my trials and tribulations. But I had great coaches, great mentors. I attached to them. I found them if they didn't necessarily find me. But I'm realizing that your situation was no one's ever said, hey, I'm going to stand here next to you or get in front of you, put a shield up.

And so it's almost like you've got these different-- it's all you, but there's versions of yourself-- that like you knew social media-- like I don't know that I have the wherewithal in 2013 '14, '15, '16, '17 to get in front of myself while doing all this because I've already got so much going on in here. Is that about right?

DAVID GOGGINS: That is right. But I had developed a lot of anger. And I still have it. And it will never go away for the normal human beings of this world because when you put yourself in the sewer like I was in-- and please, if someone saved me, come out and announce it to the world. There was no one. There's no one.

So when you know that-- and then I'm sitting at the table with all these smart people who are telling me what to do and shit and guiding me through my life now when I'm 40 fucking years old. It's 2000-- I don't know 40-something years old. Now I'm 49. And I'm looking at them all. And they're now trying to guide me on what's right on this poison.

And so, yeah, what you say is right. But for me, it was more of I know now. I don't need you to guide my future. I know what's good for me and what's bad for me. And for me, it took every bit of focus I could.

And I know social media-- that's why people love to go on there because they want to show you the good side of life. I'm not teaching good side of life. So I had to figure out a way when I came on 2016 of teaching you what life really is for the majority of us is hell.

And so while people love to show you the cars, and the house, and the vacations and shit, all that's good. All that's happy. I'm going to show you the side that I know most of you are going through. And people hide very well. I don't want to hide anymore. I hid it for 24 fucking years.

So that's why now when I told you we can talk about whatever you want because as human beings, the first thing we have to learn-- I also stuttered real bad growing up. So if you hear me stutter every now and then, it's because that was part of my life also. So it's funny. Human beings want to show you the best side. And they want to hide the worst side.

For me, I'm going to teach you how to be vulnerable because that's the only way you fix yourself. You don't fix yourself by coming out here and me selling you some fucking books. That's why I don't have them. I forgot them. I'm glad people got something from the book. I want you to learn that the only way you grow is how to look at yourself and say, OK, like I did, table longer than this, what the fuck I have to do to get somewhere?

There was nothing good on there, nothing. Yeah, I loved playing basketball. I left that out. That's something I love to do. I don't care about that. That didn't make the fucking list because the list that I had to live by was the very list that was going to get me at this table with you to talk to you to the normal human beings, which I once was, about how you can get somewhere and how it looks. It looks very ugly.

There's no fucking passion. There's no fucking motivation. There's no, oh my god, man, I fucking-- no, it's every day of your life just doing, no passion, no discipline, no motivation, all these words. I hate that so many people fucking use these words now because it's watered.

Someone sitting in the room by themselves and they figure themselves out and say, god, this is going to fucking suck. Where's passion when you're 300 pounds? Where's the motivation when you can't read and write? Where is it? So how did this happen? I just fucking did. I just did.

I said maybe at the end of this journey, there will be something there for me. If not, I can read. If not, I'm 185 fucking pounds.

There was no magic potion. There was no, oh, let me wake up and look at some shit. No. All those words are overused. They're bullshit. It's all bullshit.

Just do. You're living. How do you want to live? How do you want to die? How do you want to fucking be remembered? That's it. That's it. Period.

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The word haunted is ringing in my head.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yep.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I think it's such a powerful word.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Because I was about to m it seems like a huge part of your process, maybe the entire process, is it's all stick no carrot, you talk about the carrot, the positive thing. And then there's the stick, the thing you're trying to avoid. I feel like it's-- the way it's landing for me is it's all stick and gas pedal.

DAVID GOGGINS: That's it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: There's no carrot. You're not imagining, oh, when I'm a paramedic, when the book is published. And, obviously, you set those goals, and you make those targets. But it's all stick.

DAVID GOGGINS: All stick.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: No carrot.

DAVID GOGGINS: Think about that. I'm waking up right now studying. Like I have a test tomorrow. I already passed the fucking test. Think about that. Every day in my life, that's what I must do just to retain what I learned.

Four hours plus a day, I go through and do that. There's no stick. Or there's only a stick. There's never been a carrot, which is why when I speak to people, I have to figure out a way to resonate with them. Because all I want to say to them is let me teach you the real life, how it really is. The reason why you're a loser and the reason why you're not fucking making it and the reason why you're trying to go to all these-- I go to all these fucking conventions, speak all the fucking time.

I look in the fucking audience. And these people sign up, sign up, sign up fucking every year go to a convention, thinking they're going to learn something fucking different. No, you're lazy. You know exactly what to do, exactly what to do. Because even me in my state of I can't read and write, I knew exactly what to do. It just sucks doing it.

It sucks to do it. It sucks to wake up every morning of your life and say, god, man, I'm not smart. So guess what I got to do. I got to study the same shit that I got one of the highest scores in the nation on and do it again, and do it again, and do it again. It's not just there. It's not just there permanently for me.

So, yeah, it's all stick. It's all stick. The only carrot you have is like maybe, maybe.

Because whenever I take these tests that are real hard, the back of my brain is like a good chance you're not going to make it, Goggins. This ain't you, bro. This ain't you. You weren't born like this. This ain't you. The real you, bro-- study all you want to.

But the second that fucking computer comes on with 150 questions, this ain't you, man. And somehow, comes back. I passed. I passed again, passed again. But that real me back here every fucking time is saying that ain't you, bro. That ain't you. And I have to outwork that voice.

When I'm taking that test and I get to a question I don't fucking know the answer, I'm like fuck, man. And then say, see I told you, man. That ain't you. You're 300 pounds, man. You sit at home. You figure out how to do your hair. That's what you do, how to come to school with the reverse baldness when you're 16. That's you.

So there is no get out of jail free card. This is why I say stay hard. Because when you weren't given the gifts, the only thing you can do in life is stay hard. And I know people cannot stand me. They can't stand this talk. This is all you can do.

There's no magic pill or a magic potion. All you can do is outwork the man that God created or woman in you. And what that looks like is unfun. That's why I said, do not do a documentary on me because people will not see the truth. They will see what they want to see is I don't want to live like that. Good, good. And you will live exactly the way you live now, questioning who you are, wondering what is possible, wondering what you are capable of doing.

That's how that looks or you can be me, which am I happy? I don't know. Never really thought about it. Don't really care about it because all I really cared about was when I looked in that fucking mirror, I saw a piece of shit.

Happiness wasn't on the mirror at 16 or when I was 300 pounds. It wasn't like, I'm looking for happiness. No, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and say, all right, motherfucker, you did it again today. You're a bad boy because that shit sucks.

I have about a couple of minutes of that that I got the carrot. The second I lay down and go to bed, the carrots gone because I'm waking up all through the night to check the work I did that day. Did I get this drug right? Did I get this right?

Did I get that right? What did I do? Oh my god, fuck, I'm already losing it. Stick.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: That stick's haunting you.

DAVID GOGGINS: Haunting me.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It's following you around. So no picture of Jordan on the wall. You're not listening to YouTube inspiration video.

DAVID GOGGINS: No.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Those would be all your voice anyway.

[LAUGHTER]

You're not listening to your top 10 favorite songs just to get rolling and then lace the shoes, hit the books. It's all in here.

DAVID GOGGINS: All in there. I used to do that when I was fat. Rocky, I mean, that was my thing. Round 14 was my thing. And as I got older and older and older, that started to go away.

And I started to create-- I had all these people that I used to watch. Rocky was one, Barnes, Elias from "Platoon," Jack from "A Few Good Men" when he's on the stand going crazy. I saw a lot of these characters that I looked at and I was like, man, I ain't got none of that. But they were characters.

After a while, I lived a life so disciplined that every body that I once looked to, these fake characters, I built that as a man. And when I was younger, I had this image in my mind of what does a man look like to me? And I got all these people who are badasses, characters.

And in my mind, I became that. And that's what kept me going a lot was I had this pipe dream of becoming a little bit of this and a little bit of that because when you have no parents raising you and you have no role models growing up, it's not daydreaming. You start to create a reality like, mm, maybe I can be that.

And after becoming this guy, that is the biggest thing I can ever do in my life is I became that guy. That I once looked at all these, guys and now I look at myself like, god, who the fuck can do that? I can. But what it takes is a discipline that no one can ever even-- they don't understand it. They don't understand it. But everybody has the ability to do it, but they just don't want to. They want to keep asking questions and keep going to seminars.

And the greatness is right in you. And that's why once again-- I say this a million times here, I do not feel sorry for you. I will not sugarcoat what I'm going to say to you because all of you know what I'm saying is the truth. Everybody knows it's the truth. This is what it looks like. And you know it too. You know it too.

If you ain't got nothing, I hate to tell you what it looks like. It's ugly. It's not a documentary. It's not an HBO special. You ain't going to watch me like, hey, man, you guys gotta watch this. No, it's like, oh, god, this looks like a train wreck. It's like a nightmare.

This looks like this guy's got-- no, that's what it looks like. Hard work looks horrible. It's not motivating. It's not motivating at all. It ain't like Rocky round 14 where he gets knocked down and goes like this to Apollo Creed. Looks like a man being stuck in a fucking dungeon. And there's no fucking way out.

But you have the fucking key. But you refuse to use it. And that's nothing motivating about that. So, yes, no documentary on David Goggins.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: The real life--

DAVID GOGGINS: The real life.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: --David Goggins is the documentary. It's already being written. You're it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Yeah, I'm going to share a little neuroscience tidbit.

DAVID GOGGINS: Love it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But I think it's one that you'll appreciate. Most people don't know this, but there's a brain structure called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. As we pointed out before, that's a noun. It's a name. It doesn't mean anything. We could call it the Cookie Monster.

But what's interesting about this brain area is there are now a lot of data in humans, not some mouse study, showing that when people do something they don't want to do like add three hours of exercise per day or per week or when people who are trying to diet and lose weight resist eating something, when people do anything that they, and this is the important part, that they don't want to do, it's not about adding more work. It's about adding more work that you don't want to do. This brain area gets bigger.

Now here's what's especially interesting about this brain area to me. And by the way, I'm only learning this recently because it's new data. But there's a lot of it.

The anterior mid-cingulate cortex is smaller in obese people. It gets bigger when they diet. It's larger in athletes. It's especially large or grows larger in people that see themselves as challenged and overcome some challenge. And in people that live a very long time, this area keeps its size. In many ways, scientists are starting to think of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex not just as one of the seats of willpower but perhaps actually the seat of the will to live.

DAVID GOGGINS: See, now we're talking.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And when I learned about the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, I was like almost out of my seat. And I've been in the neuroscience game since I was 20.

DAVID GOGGINS: Now we're talking.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: We're the same age. And I was so pumped because I've heard of the amygdala, fear, prefrontal cortex. It's planning an action. I could tell you every brain area and every-- I teach neuroanatomy to medical students. But when I started seeing the data on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, I was like, whoa, this is interesting.

And all the data point to the fact that we can build this area up. But that as quickly as we build it up, if we don't continue to invest in things that are hard for us, that we don't want to do-- that's the part that feels so Goggin-esque to me, that we don't want to do. Like if you love the ice bath-- yeah, I love the ice bath-- and you go from 1 minute to 10 minutes, guess what, your anterior mid-cingulate cortex did not grow.

DAVID GOGGINS: None.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But if you hate the cold water, if you're afraid of drowning and you get into water and put your head under and survive, then the anterior mid-cingulate cortex gets bigger. But if you don't do it the next day or if you do it the next day and you enjoy it because, hey, hey, I did it yesterday, woo-hoo, happy me, Merry Christmas as you would say--

DAVID GOGGINS: Right. Merry Christmas.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: --guess what, the anterior mid-cingulate cortex shrinks again. To me, this is one of the most important discoveries that neuroscience has ever made because it's that I don't want to do something but do it anyway that grows this area. And it's almost like-- I have a friend. He's been sober 30 years from alcohol.

And he always says, the amazing thing about addiction is there's a cure. The problem is it only works one day at a time. And so you have to renew it every day.

DAVID GOGGINS: That's right.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So the anterior mid-cingulate cortex to me-- when I learned about it, two things went off in my head. Whoa, this is super interesting. And, two, I got to tell David Goggins about this. And I waited until now--

DAVID GOGGINS: I'm glad.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: --to tell you because I felt like, well, for obvious reasons I wanted to tell you and I wanted to tell you here.

DAVID GOGGINS: Well, I love that because that's how I've lived my entire life. I don't know anything about that. But people go, man, you have such a strong will. It's something that you build. Like I never forget I was on a podcast one time. And this dude goes you were blessed with a strong mind. Like the hell are you talking about I was blessed with a strong mind?

That's something that you have to develop. You develop that over years, decades of suffering and going back into the suffer. That's why a lot of people who graduate Navy SEAL training, they want to know-- I talk about it very openly all the time. A lot of guys don't want to go back into that water, don't want to go back into the hard stuff. And maybe not-- anything hard, anything hard in life, once you get through it, it's like you become a POW.

Like how many POWs you know want to go back to POW camp? None. When something sucks so bad in life-- this is on this that we're talking about now-- very few people want to go back. They're happy they graduated.

I realized I'm the same way. I don't want to go back. I have to go back. I must go back because that is exactly where all the knowledge of my life exists was back there in what you're exactly what you're talking about.

Well, I didn't know anything about this. But how I grew a will was constantly doing these things to now it's just life. I wake up. While it still sucks, it's just life. You don't sit back and like, oh my god. Like I have days I don't want to do. But I know I'm going to do it. I know from years of just doing it. So that's beautiful.

And this is why I came on here with you today. And I'm glad that you're talking about this because human beings need to hear this. They need to stop hearing these hacks on this and that. There's no fucking hack, bro. There's no fucking hack. Yeah, you may this and that and saunas and all this shit that they-- yeah, it's great.

There is no fucking life hack. To grow that thing-- how do you grow it? Do it, and do it, and do it, and do it. That's the hack. The hack is going to fucking suck. And that's what I realized. That's what I realized.

That's why I wanted to come on here today. I didn't want to come on here and talk about no fucking passion and purpose and how to get the fuck out of bed and how to hit a fucking alarm clock, all this catchphrase bullshit because that wasn't how I lived, wasn't how I lived. I lived, I woke up like every human being does and goes fuck, man. I'm a fucking piece of shit today. How the hell is this going to work out for me?

And you fight that. And you fight that. You don't override it. There's no override button. It's the conversation in your head. So how do you do that?

We don't have enough of these conversations about the real conversation that every human being is having. And they have no idea how to get out of it. But they do is that shit right there, man. You got to build your will. How you build your will? Exactly what you said, man. Exactly what you said.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Well, I feel like knowing the name of something, anterior mid-cingulate cortex, doesn't fundamentally change us. But one thing I like about biology is that willpower, if somebody feels they don't have it, feels like this thing that other people have. But everybody, unless they're brain-damaged, like a hole through their head, has two anterior mid-cingulate cortex, one on each side of their brain. Everyone has one. They have two. So I feel like it's just a question of opening the portal. And the portal-- again, I'm going to say 10 times, and forgive me-- is I think people go, oh, I do hard things. I do sets to failure.

And then I do forced reps. I love training with weights. I love doing sets to failure. I even like forced reps. But guess what? I like forced reps. So I'll tell you, they don't build my anterior mid-cingulate cortex because I like to do it. Anything you like to do is not going to enhance this aspect of willpower. And it seems so obvious once you hear it. You kind of go, oh yeah, of course.

But I think you really close that loop for people when you share what you're sharing today and what you've shared elsewhere before as well. When you're trying to explain the friction is the critical ingredient. And I think people think, oh, if it's effort, well, then I'm getting better. That's part of it, necessary, but not sufficient, as we say in science. But the suck part, the haunt, being haunted, the stick, they're really unpleasant terms. These are probably the most unpleasant terms we've ever used on this podcast.

Those are the-- those are the levers. Those are the gears. And without those, this thing that you're talking about, David Goggins, as a verb-- I sometimes make the joke, but it's not a joke. Goggins is a name, and it's a verb. People go, I'm on to Goggins that. But that's, I think-- again, I'm not a psychologist. But I think that's what you're talking about, the stick, the friction, being haunted. It's the suck part that grows this anterior mid-cingulate cortex.

DAVID GOGGINS: So now you know why there's so many people that fail in this world to figure out their purpose, their purpose in life. Where do I go? Because to grow that, now, you may not look like me, how my daily life looks. It don't look fun. Don't look fun. So it's a choice that people have to make in life.

But what's so funny about it is even the richest of rich, who have everything, they always ask me this question. I feel like I'm missing something. I don't feel like I'm missing shit. I don't have what you all have. But you will never in my life hear me tell you I'm missing something. And everybody is. They're missing this feeling. I found it a long time ago. And I found it right there in that willpower thing.

When you're nothing, nothing, and change yourself into something, like me, you call it happiness, peace, whatever the fuck you want to call it, people are missing exactly what went on with David Goggins. Why don't you smile? I do. I do. But I figured something out. That's why I am never-- you never hear me say, I'm missing something. I found it years ago.

You find it in the suck. You find it in the suck. And you find it repeatedly in the suck to the point where you know exactly who you are. Most people are missing something because they don't know who they are. They never examined themselves. They've never done this experiment on themselves. The lab rat. We're all lab rats. But you're also the scientist.

You create your own self. Most people are missing something because there's so much trapped in there. I don't even want to say potential. I think that's a word-- it's used out too much too. There's so much in you that God or whoever the hell you believe in or if you're an atheist in you that you have not unlocked, that you walk around with this gorgeous wife or great husband and all this money. You're like, god, I feel like I'm missing something.

Yeah, because it's about 75% of you is still fucking in there, still chained up because you just didn't want to find your willpower, didn't want to find your soul, your will, your heart, your determination, your guts, your courage. And what that looks like, it looks scary, like you're little scary lab that went in. Scary to wake up every day and say, I'm stupid, but I'm going to figure out a way to be smarter versus saying, man, I just can't do that. So you limit this box.

So your box becomes so small of things you can do. My box wasn't even a box. It was a fucking little pinhole. And then through examining myself, getting some willpower, some courage, it became bigger than this table. But that's what we all do. That's why I wanted to come here today and talk to you about real shit, not no fucking hacks. There's no hacks, bro. It's you against you. You against you.

And if you misunderstand that, you have a real problem, real problem. I can understand you misunderstand me, running down the street, shirt off, fuck this, no. Yeah. I can get it. I get it. If you misunderstand what I'm saying right now today, the problem is you. And you don't want to fix it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Well, the children of wealthy people are a case study in how not having enough friction can destroy a life.

DAVID GOGGINS: True statement.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I mean, I could list off prominent names in the press. But those are actually the least interesting. What's probably more interesting, as an example, is all the ones we don't hear about because we never hear about them. They just dwindle and wither.

Or I think there's this big category of people, I'm realizing, as we have this conversation today that they're not super successful. They're not struggling. They're successful enough that they never have to-- you can get to the point where you don't have to impose friction. You even said it. Your bank account is in a place where you don't really need to do all the things you do, probably not even a small fraction of them.

DAVID GOGGINS: Do nothing.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Right. But you realize the stick and being haunted is the fuel and the engine. And you'd be a-- you'd be truly crazy to give that up because you've internalized all that. But most people, they're good enough for them. And so they don't actually want to be better badly enough in order to start going rung after rung.

DAVID GOGGINS: Well, think about when you build willpower. And think about how much I've built. Now that you know about this-- I didn't know about this. But think about how much I've built. Everything I've ever done in my life, I didn't want to do. Everything every day. I'm a lazy piece of shit. And I'm one of the hardest working people to ever step foot on this planet Earth. And I'm saying that very proudly because I know what I do. It's not cocky. I'll tell you I'm stupid.

And I'll also tell you the exact opposite of what I've done. It's the truth. It is the truth. So imagine how much I've developed in that time frame. But this is the scary thing. Why most people don't want to do that and build that willpower is because it is scary. It unlocks a whole bunch of things about who you are and who you're not. And a lot of people don't want to go down that journey to discover who they are and who they're not because it's not a pretty journey.

I mean, I've gone down it. It's not like I went down it once. I go down it all the time. And when you unlock that-- and you can't just turn it off. Like, people say, hey, how come you haven't retired yet? I built all this willpower. Do you think it's going to let me just retire because my knees hurt? It is telling me every morning-- I wake up, and I'm like, man, my knees hurt. My legs hurt. My body hurts. But you can still run. So why aren't you running?

If you can still run-- there will be a time when you can't lace them up anymore. But you can still run. So I still run. When the time comes I can't run, the body will say, you just can't run. But if I can still do something, that willpower that I have created, it makes me do it every fucking day. And that's what they don't get. What builds a human being is you start with the small building blocks. And before you know it, man, you become something that it doesn't even make sense to most people because it's just who you are now.

That's why I can still run at 50 with broke-- at 49 with broke down knees and broke down body because my body knows you still can. Therefore, I do. Second you stop, the willpower is gone. And that's beautiful. I'm so glad you brought that to me because I always wondered, what's this separation thing now? At 24 years old, I started building something that I didn't even know was going to be what it is now at 49. And that's all it was. It was just that.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: This structure, anterior mid-cingulate cortex, has inputs and outputs from a bunch of places. But you'll probably not be surprised to learn that it's strongly activated when we move our body when we don't want to move our body. I feel like it's like the David Goggins structure.

DAVID GOGGINS: It really is.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It is. And it also has strong connections to the dopamine reward pathway. And everyone goes, yay, dopamine. Everyone loves dopamine. I'm partially responsible for people knowing a bit more about dopamine. But dopamine's badly understood. Everyone thinks dopamine, dopamine hits. It's about reward. It's about motivation and drive. And there are pain inputs to the dopamine centers of the brain. No one talks about that.

Everyone's like, oh, you want the chocolate, chocolate, sex, cocaine. Yeah, that's all true. It'll release dopamine. Pain releases dopamine. The anterior mid-cingulate cortex can trigger the release of dopamine in response to this thing that we're calling friction. And that's a learned thing. That's something that no animal or human being comes into the world learning. We all are averse to pain. And like pleasure, like sugar, fat. Don't like hot surfaces.

But this is a structure that learns. It has neuroplasticity, the ability to change throughout the entire life span. And here's the part that I think, again, is just neuro nerd speak for what you already know and have done and exemplify, is that people say, oh, it has plasticity. You can change it. But guess what? It has plasticity in both directions. It can grow. But just as easily as it can grow, it's like Silly Putty, it can shrink. So it requires constant upkeep.

And that answer isn't one that people are going to like. They're like, give me the energy drink. Give me the supplement. Give me the-- give me the sauna protocol that's going to make my anterior mid-cingulate cortex-- there's someone out there right now who's going, wait, if I took transcranial magnetic stimulation and I stimulate-- yeah, you'd probably-- actually, they've done that.

They stuck a little wire during neurosurgery into this structure. This was actually discovered by a colleague of mine, Joe Parvizi. Stimulate. And the patients go, I feel like there's a storm coming. And they go, oh, is it scary? And they go, no, I want to go through it. They come off the stimulation, and people are like-- this is the seat of what we're talking about.

DAVID GOGGINS: Right. Exactly.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And it learns. So the fact that you've kept this brain structure-- I'm convinced if we imaged your brain, it'd be large, and it would be larger in two years, in a year. But this is the no days off rationale because it can grow, and it can shrink.

DAVID GOGGINS: I know. What you're saying right now, I didn't know any of this. And I never-- and I always talk to you. But I wish I could just put this on paper. And you're saying it in a way that people can understand. I can never put it into words on what I built and the power that is within all of us. But you put it so in a scientific way. Most people, for me, he's just crazy.

That's why I don't like talking about it, man. I know I'm not crazy. I know what I had to do to get where I had to go. People look at it as crazy because there are people that just-- if you can't imagine yourself doing something, if you can't imagine yourself doing something, the person that's doing it is crazy because in your mind, the logic behind it, it doesn't compute. Therefore, you have to give somebody a title.

And the title for me is usually he's crazy or he's this, he's that. No. No. For some reason, me wanting to be somebody so fucking bad in my life, I created that. And I've been trying to figure out years of my life trying to explain to people. But even though you're explaining it now, this is the easy fucking part. Them listening to this shit is the easy fucking part.

The part that why they're always be the ones of ones is because putting that practice, putting that into actual work, no, man. No. No. That's where the demons come in. That's where you're like, I don't want to be better. I don't want to be better. If this is what it takes to be better, I don't want to be better. So everybody's-- that's why there's a lot of average.

And it makes me so fucking mad. Every day I walk this Earth, and I see average all over the fucking place. And they want to ask me, how did you do it? I can't tell you how because you're not going to fucking-- you're not going to do it. You're not going to do it you. You're just going to-- You're going to continue being like this every day you wake up. Like you said, it's like, get the coffee. Make the pancakes. Kiss the girl. Kiss the kids.

You wake up, right to work. Immediate, your mind is in action. No one wants to do that. No one. And I don't blame them. But don't be mad when you're laying there in your fucking bed, and you're in the fucking hospital, and you're 70, 80, 90 years old. And you're thinking, man, I feel like I didn't fucking do something. Because you did. You didn't do it. You didn't do shit.

You may have lived a great life, man, but you're always going to feel empty inside. I don't feel empty. So call me what you want. There's not one empty bone in my fucking body because I have figured out that really-- the magic potion, at least to my life. And it's very rewarding.

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People like to talk about what they used to be able to do. I hear this a lot. You should have seen me in high school. I always laugh. Like, yeah, OK. Got it. And it's not just guys. You should have seen me working out in high school. I was super fit. People will look back to a time where they felt like they were capable of something. And now they're not. And you kind of want to just grab them and go, wait. That was you then. It's you now. And but people tend to think about how the conditions that were around success must have been part of it.

And you can understand why. It's very rational. I was in that situation. I was successful. I'm in this situation. I'm not. That was the past. This is the present. Ergo, capable. You see how people get into these loops. And as you mentioned, you spent the first 20 years of your life in extremely challenged circumstances. And then you can see how people get to a point where everything feels hard. Like, when you're 300 pounds-- I haven't ever been 300 pounds. But I can't imagine it feels good to get up and move around.

DAVID GOGGINS: It's defeating.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I got a friend. He's in excess of 300 pounds. We've been trying on him for years. But no win. And he's got crazy psoriasis on the back of his calves. And he actually smells bad sometimes because he can't wash as well as he would. He's big, big.

And it pulls all my sympathy. But life is very hard for him and getting worse. He's a young guy with a lot of medical issues now, for obvious reasons. And so I think people like that think, well, it's already hard. Why would I make it harder? Your message is a little different. And you have the life experience.

DAVID GOGGINS: It's a lot different.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: You've been there. So for me, saying, oh yeah, lose weight-- I was a skinny guy who got to be a less skinny guy. So I don't really have a foot to stand on. What do you say to those people who are like, listen, getting up in the morning is hard. Trying to not dissolve into a puddle of my own tears and my own misery is hard.

DAVID GOGGINS: You know why people connect with my books so well? For some reason, God put me in almost every fucked up situation on the planet Earth. So when I talk to people, it's not sugar-coated because I'm not saying it from I was a 175 pounds my whole life. I don't say much to those people. Maybe you're a piece of shit. Maybe you want to be nobody. Maybe you're happy exactly where you are in life because obviously, you are. Maybe you don't have the determination to be somebody better than who you are.

And if you want to live with that, I'll support you in that. If you're good with being who you are, that every day you wake up, and every day, you smell like shit because you can't wash your body well, and your skin is messed up because your health's so bad, and you can't put your clothes on right, you need help with that. You need help like-- when I was 300 pounds, I needed help wiping my ass. That makes you feel good? Nothing I can say to you. If every day you wake up with this-- see, people are haunted.

But they obviously like horror films because they keep watching the same fucking movie. I don't like horror films. A lot of people like horror films. So I don't say much to them. I say exactly what I said to you right there because I was once you. I didn't like horror films, so I changed it. Some people are just-- they become-- like you said, it gets real small when you're lazy and you're fat, your will.

Their will is so small that they don't have any. And you can't give it to them. There has to be something-- this is what I'm talking about now because this isn't a hack. This has to be in you. Something in you has to wake up. And usually, the only person that can wake it up is you. Sometimes you can read a David Goggins book because I was all this shit and then a lot more of fucked up.

But if you don't have a little flame, just barely-- you're done. I can't light it for you. And that's the harsh reality of this life that I want to get across so fucking bad. You can watch me. You can watch you. You can watch fucking Rogan and Cameron Hanes, all these motherfuckers. You can go to Tony Robbins's fucking bullshit, all this shit. You can do all this shit.

You're going to keep going back and keep spending money and spending money and spending money with no results. You're going to wonder, wow. Maybe let me go try out David Goggins. He ain't going to fucking help you. You have to explore, examine the insides of yourself. And what do you really want out of life? Your friend and a lot of people out here just don't fucking want it.

So guess what? Have fun with your life. Go from 300 to 350 to 400 to 450 to 500 because you don't want it. And that's the harsh reality. I can't give you shit. You can't give them shit. We can give you ideas. But end of the day, when I was losing the weight, I had to miserably wake up every morning in the cold because it was Indiana, November, when it started. I was miserable.

This is your new life. Take it or leave it. There's no happiness about it. There's no peace behind it. It sucks. It just fucking sucks. And that's the one thing, if I could teach anybody anything, it just fucking sucks. And it's going to continue to suck. And then one day, you'll get to a special part in your life that it might get a little bit better.

But to lose the weight you have to lose, my friend, sorry. It's going to suck every fucking day because then when you're 300 pounds, you're going to go out to lose weight, you could probably get injured. So then you got to work on the injury. And then you get even more depressed. This is what I went through. And then you're hungry because now you're depressed. It's just a vicious cycle. And if you're not strong mentally and you have no willpower, you're going to continue falling back in this hole versus the man that sits back and goes, all right, motherfucker.

This is why I cuss because this is what is in me. This is what it took for me to be me. Sorry. It didn't take, hey, OK, we're going to do this today. No. This fucking really sucks. This is real, dude. This is real. And every day, I'm set back. I'm set back. I'm set back. I'm set back. So this is what I would tell your boy. This is exactly what I'd tell him. Every day you wake up, you're going to probably be set back for the first four weeks before you lose significant weight because the mind is going to be fucking with you the whole time.

There's no dopamine. There's no dopamine in there at 300 pounds. You got nothing. Your hormones are shot. You have to envision something that is more powerful than you. Something has to get you out of bed. And you have to create it. It has to be false because you're not it. You're a fat piece of shit. And that's the reality of it. So you have to create a false reality, to live in that just to get to work on yourself. That's the reality.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: He'll see this, and he'll appreciate that message. We'll see what he does.

DAVID GOGGINS: We'll see.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So far, last 13 years, it's been no movement. But I have had other friends who were drug and alcohol addicts who quit after one conversation. Never went back.

DAVID GOGGINS: That's awesome. That means they want it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Yeah, just one guy, I won't out him, but walked up to me at a party in 2019, July 4th party, and said, I'm a pile. And I go, what? And he goes, I'm a pile. Look at me. I'm 60 pounds overweight. And I go, do you drink? He goes, every day. I go, how much? He goes, a case. He goes, I smoke a lot of weed. But he's successful in other areas of his life. And so I said, well, here's what I know. Quit alcohol and weed for you. I'm not telling people what to do.

Don't eat until 2:00 PM. Get on an exercise bike, and pedal in the morning like someone's chasing you with a poison dart until you want to puke. And I was kind of half-joking. And then two months later, he was, like, I haven't had a drink. I lost 30 pounds. He lost those 60 pounds. He never went back. Now, he's super fit. It's amazing. So some people flip the switch. He is very self-critical by nature.

DAVID GOGGINS: That's what flips--

ANDREW HUBERMAN: He's super self-critical.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yep. That's what flips the switch. Think about it, man. We know what to do. We don't need Andrew Huberman to tell us what to do. We know what to do, every one of us. That's why he flipped it so fast because he knew what to do. He didn't go by your exact protocol. He didn't go by the exact-- no. He knew exactly what to do. And you just saying some shit to him, it woke something up. He knew what to do. And that's the thing that people need to get that. You know what to do. Why aren't you doing it?

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And I'm talking about myself now. Those modes of just kind of passive consumption, they're so easy to wash over us. I used to have this thing, and I'm fighting this now because I knew we were going to have this conversation today, where I like to start things on the hour or the half hour. Worst practice in the world for me because if I miss that half hour, I'm like, oh, it's 12:33. I'll start at 12:45. Ah, it's 12:45. I'll start at 1:00. I just lost time. And so this is so stupid.

And the other day, I was like, man, I got to tell David about this because my new thing is I start no matter what time it is. If I wake up in the middle of the night-- I got a friend. He paints in the middle of the night. I'm like, you're an insomniac? He's like, I don't know. I just do it. Then sometimes he goes back to sleep. Sometimes he doesn't. Everyone's got their thing. But I thought about this. I'm like, no more am I going to say I'm starting at 1:00 because I know me. If I miss the 1:00 ding and then my pen's not hitting the paper or I'm not typing on the keyboard, I'm not going to do it. But That's a self-admitted weakness.

DAVID GOGGINS: I love it, man. I had that for a lot of years. I know I'm going to do it. That's the haunting part is that it's going to happen. It has to happen. And that's a fact. Like, there's no get out of jail free card, bro. None. Like, that is a life that I don't know. I don't have that ability. Or I have the ability.

I don't have the-- I'm not good enough, smart enough. I'm not talented enough to do that. Some people are. Some people can start at 1:00. Some people don't have to start at all. If you lack talent, you can't sit back and say, I'll start in half an hour. I can't do that. I got to start now.

And after I get back from starting, I got to start again. And then when I get done with that run or that study session, if it wasn't good enough, I got to go back again because repetition is what taught me everything. So you can honestly outwork anything. But it's that you, obviously, are a very talented man.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Well, I have worked hard at certain things and built up some things that I've been good at most of my life.

DAVID GOGGINS: You're amazing.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Gathering, organizing, and disseminating information's something I've been doing since I was a little kid. I used to give lectures at school on Monday about stuff I learned over the weekend.

DAVID GOGGINS: See, check that out.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But they took me to a psychiatrist. We're the same age. Back then, if you got sent to a psychiatrist, people thought you were crazy.

DAVID GOGGINS: I was one.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Yeah, exactly.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Exactly. So I remember feeling like a freak. Also, I didn't have a stutter, but I had a grunting tic. It comes back when I'm tired. And the only thing that helped that was hitting my head on something, shaking my head, which is why skateboarding was good because I'd slam, and I'd feel like, oh. I feel good. But that's not healthy. That's not good. Or just work. Work is what gets it out. It's like an-- it's like an RPM or high. [REVVING SOUND] Anyway, that's me.

But yeah, I think certain things over time, I feel like talent or gifts or whatever you want to call them, but there are many things that are exceedingly difficult for me. And I have learned from your example. I know that you are very both humble and very clear that you don't have-- you say, you're not going to get it by examining you. But I think the way you're sharing today and the way you've shared it on other podcasts before, there are pieces that really help people feel into the process of what you're talking about today.

We're elaborating on it, I think, a lot, this notion of being haunted and the stick. I mean, of course, of course, now it makes so much sense why you don't want to talk about sleep or rest or recovery because that's-- sure, that's important. I've heard you say, yes, you sleep. Yes, you eat. Yes, you hydrate. Yes, you will stretch your psoas or whatever. But it's funny how that becomes the viral message.

DAVID GOGGINS: That's why I said fuck that today.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But that's not the unique-- that's not the unique message that you carry. Like, anyone can talk about that. So do I have that right? That you're acknowledging sleep is important. Recovery is important.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yes.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But that's not what you're about.

DAVID GOGGINS: You have to forego something. Yes. Ice baths. Saunas. Sleep. Nutrition. All this shit's so fucking important, dude. I don't have time for some of it. To extract what I had to extract, something had to give. Like, you talk about you when you were younger. You would give these speeches and stuff. The same age you were giving speeches, I was trying to figure out how to say the without stuttering.

And I realized, as I got older, that all these things are important. But for me to stop stuttering, I got to build fucking confidence. And speech therapy didn't help that. Nothing helped that. I have to forgo a lot of shit to be as fucked up as I am to build confidence, for me to stand in a fucking room of 10,000-- of one person, and not [STUTTERING SOUNDS] and be like, oh, and put my head down. Let me look around.

Let me read these paragraphs first. And then before I read the paragraphs, because they're calling me next, let me just leave the room because I'm going to stutter. That's a miserable life. And that's one of many things I did besides lying, besides being insecure, besides being immature, besides being fat, besides being one of the only Black kids in my school. There's a lot of things I had to overcome to gain confidence.

And in doing so, a lot of that had to go. A lot of it. So I became the guy that became, once again, misunderstood. You only sleep four hours a day, two hours a day? Sometimes you don't sleep at all? Like, what's this, and what's this, and what's this? I know it's all important. I can't. Something's got to go.

For me to get confidence, because confidence is the building block of where I'm trying to go, for me to gain confidence in myself, this fucked up kid has got to do a lot of fucked up shit to gain confidence. And along the way, the stutter went away. And I gained confidence. And now, my life is a little bit more-- there is no balance. There is no balance. It's a little bit more what it should be for a lot of people.

But there'll never be balance because confidence is something that you're constantly-- confidence and belief you're building every day. And so something's got to give. And I'm willing to forego a lot of things to have that because I know if you want to give somebody kryptonite, take that shit away from them.

So yeah, I don't sleep sometimes. And sometimes I don't eat the right way. And sometimes I don't do this and do that and whatever, man. But you put me in a room of 10,000 people any time of the day, and I'll walk in there thinking I'm the baddest motherfucker in here because I know what it took to be on this stage. And a lot of people would not do that. So that's what it takes.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: There's a question I've been wanting to ask you since we started. And I thought about coming in here. And I've been thinking about in the weeks ahead of this. And I'm going to just come clean and say I don't exactly know how to ask the question.

DAVID GOGGINS: Just ask it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It's about relationships.

DAVID GOGGINS: Oh, do it, man.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So I know in myself that my discipline is much higher when it's just me. But that's because I had certain things early on. But then I was a terrible student. Barely finished high school. But then when I got serious, I got serious. But I did that by staying away from everybody. And anyone's who's ever had a relationship of any kind, but in particular, romantic relationships, knows that, yes, you can derive tremendous support from those.

Like, you got this, baby. You can go. And you're like, yeah. I got this. She said I got this. Feels great to finish something and share with someone, share a meal, get the hug. But there's another side to all of that that I'd like to learn more about from you, which is there's a warm body next to you in bed in the morning. You don't want to get up. They also have needs. You've got your mission that people sometimes need things from us.

But also, oftentimes, the people that love us most, that truly love us and that want to support us, don't understand this thing. And they're the first people to tell us, like, listen. Take a day off. And then this whole cycle, at least in my head, goes off, like, you just want a vacation. And then it's almost like a paranoia. I'm not saying anything nice about myself right now.

DAVID GOGGINS: All good, man.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Former girlfriends are going to be like, yeah. Like, they remember that. And so support of people close to you is critical. This could be friends. Could be romantic partners. Whatever. But they're also-- the knife cuts both ways. It can be the thing that can really undermine this thing that you're talking about because people that care about us also want to see us comfortable. They want to see us happy. They want to see us peaceful. They want to see us wake up from a great night's sleep. And they want things too. So how do you untangle that whole bit?

DAVID GOGGINS: Well, it's funny, man. I'm unbalanced, but I'm mostly unbalanced towards the family side, which people don't get about me. I'll start being unbalanced. I get all my stuff in. But what I do is I make sure that my family has everything they need, everything they need, those who want to be part of my family. Some don't. Some family members don't want to be part of David Goggins. I get it. I got it. That's life.

Those who are part of my family, I give them everything they need so they can leave me the fuck alone. I make sure you're happy as fuck because I got to go to work. And I don't mean smokejumping. I don't mean running. I mean all of it. It takes every-- I can't have you in my fucking shit. I can't. So I know for me to have a family, I gotta make sure that you realize I'm going to give you everything you need. So when you start bitching at me, I'm going to say, look, hang on.

I dedicated my life to give you everything you need. I need this time right here for me to be the best I can be because this journey started without anybody. And I make sure everybody knows that who comes in my life. I've been left-- think about it. I was left alone at a young age to figure this shit out. I figured it out for myself and have been very successful for myself. No one's going to come in here and fuck with my shit.

That's why I make sure I will take care of whatever you need. Whatever you need from me, you got it. Money, house, my love, my support, I'm going to give you everything you need. That said, I do it the highest level possible. And I'm saying that with Jennifer in the next room. So please come here and say something if it's wrong, Jennifer. I don't give a fuck. Say what you got to say. So then when it's time for me to go to work, I expect you to do the same for me because it takes every bit of me to do what I have to do.

So I make sure that I'm very unbalanced from my family so I can be exactly that unbalanced for myself. And that's how I do it. I let people know right up front, I'm not what you want in a man. I guarantee that. There's going to be a lot of late nights, a lot of early mornings, a lot of times where I got to be by myself thinking about the process that is next in my mind. I can't have aggravation. I can't have this. Can't have that. There's a lot of things. But I let them know up front. I'm very vocal about that.

Sometimes relationships work for me. Sometimes they didn't. But that's who I am. One thing I did wrong in my life was I tried for so many years to please people. And I did it at the expense of myself. I was leaving a lot in the tank. And when you do that, you stop living. But the person in your life is happy as fuck because you're giving them everything they want. They have their-- their life is full.

But you feel empty. And that's not a relationship to me. So for me, it's important that you know exactly who I am because this is what life made. And I'm not trying to change it because I just figured it out. So I'm not trying to compromise David Goggins. I would never, ever compromise David Goggins. That doesn't mean I won't give you what you need and what you want and what you desire. But I don't need money. I don't need fame. I don't need shit. So I give it all away.

What I do need is to make sure that that willpower is worked on every fucking day and every night for the rest of my life because that's the one thing that's going to keep me feeding you, keeping you where you need to be, because once that willpower is gone, 300-pound David Goggins, he may not look like it, but I will walk around with it. So the things that are important to you in life, you must do always. Or you're nobody. And that's how I handle relationships.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Amen to that. Something I could personally work on is that upfront, clear communication because it resonates that feeling of there's something inside that's not getting worked out that, when I'm on my own, it's a lot easier. But then, of course, wanting relationships and family, I think that's a healthy part of being human too. And obviously, you've worked it out. So I appreciate you sharing that. I don't think I've ever heard you talk about it that way before.

DAVID GOGGINS: People are scared of that conversation with their wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend. But why are you scared of it? Why are you scared to tell a motherfucker, your wife, your husband, who you are, who you are, exactly who you are? And that was the problem I had-- that's a problem that a lot of us have in life. No one knows who you really are. No one knew who I really was.

I went to a school where there were a lot of Black kids. A lot of Black kids didn't want to be in special ops. I never talked about special ops to Black kids. Why? I was wondering what-- I'm not going to fit in. That's not what they do. A lot of Black kids don't do that kind of shit. So whatever I wanted to do, no one really knew the real me growing up because I never wanted anybody to know the real me. I was always afraid of what you might say or how you're going to feel or whatever. You got feelings.

You have a life that you have to live. So it's important that whatever's on your mind, you let that person know. Therefore, you're giving them the option to be with you or not. This is who I am. If you don't like it, that's good, man. I got it. But this is David Goggins. So that honest conversation is very important, man, so everybody knows where they stand. That person may not be for you. And that's all good.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: This world could use a lot more of that upfront, completely honest conversation. I feel like so much of the world's problems are because everyone's dancing around these issues.

DAVID GOGGINS: It takes a lot.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Recently in the news, seeing people losing their job because they won't say something publicly. You can tell they kind of what it. It's like, people just, I think, deep down really crave the direct message. Like, what are you about? What are you not about? But I think now, everyone's afraid of getting canceled. It's a big deal, getting canceled, that people think, oh, I can't work if I am who I am. Or if I'm not pretending to be somebody else, then silence is considered agreement. There's all sorts of complicated stuff.

And I do feel for the generation coming up because we didn't have social media and all of that. Again, just walled off from that. There's a real benefit from just not paying attention.

DAVID GOGGINS: People love to lie. People love to lie. You know, I thought I was only a person-- when I was growing up, I thought I was the only person that lied because I lived in a bubble. And people love to lie about who they're not. They love to lie about who they're not, dude. And that's, for me, the reason why I'm so vulnerable, and I'm so real and honest. Find somebody to come out and tell me I'm lying about my fucking life. And for me to come where I came from and have the resume I have now, you know the confidence you get?

How I don't care who-- you're going to-- you're going to judge me? You're going to judge me? What have you done in your life? So me, being so honest and so upfront and so truthful, that came with me finally figuring out who I was, but also conquering David Goggins, the demons of David Goggins. Therefore, now, you're just an open book. You look at somebody, look them right in the eye. Tell me exactly who the fuck you are. You walk away. I'm good, bro, because I know exactly what this journey took to get here.

And that gives you a fire and a passion that people can call you nigger, they can call you-- if you're a lesbian or gay or bise-- call me whatever the fuck you want. If you put yourself in the fire and you come out every fucking day like this, brush it off, not scared to go back in there again, come on, man. Your truth is real. You come out every day, man, with a way of talking to people that people don't have because there's no truth behind them. And the truth is the starting line.

When you sit down the ugly mirror and say, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this and this, you finally started your life. Maybe 40 years old. Maybe 40 years old, five, six kids, wife. But the second you look in that mirror and you say, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, well, basically, I'm not this, I'm not this, I'm not this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I'm all these insecurities, your life finally started.

And once you start that life, man, the truth comes out big time because you no longer care. So that's the problem. Most people just don't want to have that conversation to the point where they can go on stage and a million people and say, I'm all of this. And have a good day. See you. It's empowering. It's very empowering.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I feel like the way we're educated in school, but also outside of school, is we're trained, as human being, as these young brains, to try and figure out how to get positive feedback from other people. It's like we're little dogs. You have a bulldog.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I had a bulldog. Saw the picture of your bulldog. She's great.

DAVID GOGGINS: Charlie dog.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: They're an amazing species.

DAVID GOGGINS: They are.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I think of them economy of effort or amazing breed, excuse me. They're an amazing breed. Economy of effort. They don't do anything unless it's necessary. It's the exact opposite of everything we're talking about. It's kind of interesting. And they're kind of hedonists. Now, it is true that they'll die to protect you.

DAVID GOGGINS: Oh, yeah.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And it's an instinct. I saw that with Costello. I'm sure that--

DAVID GOGGINS: I saw it with Charlie. Yeah.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It's an instinct. But if they're not in that position, if there's no need to exert effort--

DAVID GOGGINS: They're resting.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Yeah. So your bulldog's resting for you.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yes. Got it.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Exactly. So you don't need to rest because--

DAVID GOGGINS: Active recovery Charlie.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Perfect.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Perfect. That's going to be your answer from now on. People go, does he sleep? Does he rest? Go, no. He somehow worked it out so his bulldog does it for him.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But we're sort of indoctrinated into this way of being from a time that we're young, where, of course, praise feels good. Someone tells you, hey, I like that shirt, or good job today, or nicely done. Or for me, because growing up in a big pack of friends growing up, and I was never the greatest athlete, wasn't terrible, wasn't great, et cetera, like, a fist bump, or, like, feeling crewed up. And you're just like, yeah.

But you've talked about this before in reference to the SEAL Teams. We both know a lot of people in that community. And the Teams component is a big part of it for a lot of people. And it's a wonderful thing. But there's a danger to that dopamine hit, for lack of a better way to put it, from we can only derive when it's coming from the outside.

You're talking about being able to either say, good job, but also, just look to one's own personal history and say, I've done hard things. And I can do it again and again because I do it again and again and again. You're talking about parenting yourself, inspiring yourself, scaring yourself, all of that from the inside. So very different than the way we're raised, which is to figure out how to get the biscuit.

DAVID GOGGINS: It's funny, man. People want to know how I'm always motivated. It's the unseen work, which you just said is a true statement. Those are false dopamine hits that people are giving you, man. There's no belief in that. These are teamwork dopamine-- like, I'm out running at 2 o'clock in the morning, 1 o'clock in the morning in the gym, long sessions by myself. That's real. I'm able to extract dopamine, the good dopamine whenever I want.

Man, I've trained 99% of my life alone. No one patted me on the back. I did all of the work alone. And while I'm still hard on myself, I know what I did. So whenever times get bad for me, people are all this, who's going to carry the boats and lo-- that's real. I hate that people know me for that guy because that guy is not every fucking day. When they see me, they want that energy. That's not me every day.

I can extract it immediately when I need to because when you train alone-- and I lived alone for so many years in this misery. And you're able to get out by yourself. I can take myself to such a level of real passion and purpose. And the feeling I get is something I can't even explain by mys-- I don't need anyone. That's why people come to me to motivate them. No one can motivate me.

I have a resume full of fucking motivation that whenever I'm down, I'm like, oh hang on, motherfucker. Oh, you know the truth. You know the truth. You know the darkness of the fucking dungeons and the fucking demons that fly. And then from there, it's like, OK. You were there. You know this. There was no one there to pick up the rucksack, to pick up the boat, to pick up the log, to go in there. It was you. It was you. There was no pat on the fucking back at 300, at 275, at 250, at 220. No. That was you.

So those things that come out of me, that extract from me in the darkness, people are looking for that pat on the back. Where is it? Oh, I don't need it because what I've done is in the fucking unseen work. I built Frankenstein. So whenever shit gets nasty, David Goggins goes, you had nobody anyway, motherfucker. So see how I'm talking to myself right now? That's me. That's shit fires me the fuck up. That shit makes me fucking nuts.

You had nobody anyway, motherfucker. Look around you. There was no fucking team. It was you. There was no weight loss program or mom and dad waking you up, saying you can do it, you can be better, trying to build belief. You built belief when you had nothing. Rock bottom. You did that. So as times get hard for me, the truth comes out. And my truth is powerful as fuck. It's real. It's tangible.

I feel it. It comes out of my brain as I speak about it. I'm reliving every single dark moment of my life to be here. So that is what people don't get. That is what motivates David Goggins is the unseen work. But everybody needs that pat on the back. They need that training partner. They need that accountability coach. I don't need that shit. And neither do they. But it's what we've trained ourselves to believe that we need.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It's almost like there's this pill on the shelf. I'm speaking in analogy. And we take it, and we get jazzed up. And we're like, yeah. But there's this other medicine cabinet behind there. And it's in us. You're saying the real medicine cabinet is inside.

DAVID GOGGINS: Oh, yes. When you continue to overcome-- and I had so many obstacles to overcome. So it's actually a benefit to me. But the benefit, it's not like a benefit like that. You have to have the courage and the patience to overcome and overcome. Before you know it, man, you have a whole medicine cabinet. But there's no medicine in the motherfucker. There's no pre-workout. I don't take none of that shit.

All I got to do is flip my brain. Put my finger in there and say, OK, that's a good one. It's all I got to do, man. I got the Rolodex. I'm just like, go fuck yourself, Goggins. And oh, but you won. Let's do that one today. There's nothing I need. And this is the thing that people don't get about David Goggins. I can't teach it in a 1-minute video. We all have this ability to have our own medicine cabinet.

But unless you go in there and put the medicine in there, it's always going to be fucking empty, man. You're always going to need the pre-workout. You're always going to need the-- I don't drink coffee. I don't do ca-- I don't do none of that. I don't need it. I can run for 70 hours, and I have before, no caffeine. I got all this wonderful shit that I overcame on my own, by myself, in the darkness, that, man, when it's cold, I'm hot.

When it's hot-- I can feed myself all the time. That's why when people say, man, why aren't you missing anything, I can't explain it to you, man. Can't explain it to you. You'll never understand. That's why I don't do all these podcasts, dude. I love you, man. That's why you-- my first book, you did a blurb for me. That's why I'm here. I love what you're doing for people, man.

But I can't explain this. I can't. I can't explain this because people don't want to do this. They don't want to do this, man. But I don't know, man. I get jazzed up even talking about it, man, because so many people think my life is just so, oh god, his life is horrible. Don't follow him. He's crazy. Really?

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But there are a good number of people, I would say, and that's an under-- that actually do. I think what I'm hearing today, and it's really sinking in, is that a great many people either partially or completely misunderstand you.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I'll put myself in the partially category.

DAVID GOGGINS: Big time.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Because I thought it was about just forward center of mass, carrot, carrot, carrot, carrot. But it's the stick.

DAVID GOGGINS: It's the stick.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And it's being haunted. And you know, I do have examples from my own life, which is not what today is about, about being really afraid and then turning things around. My biggest fear is getting comfortable. I do not have as much of a stick-oriented approach. But today's conversation's changing the way I think. I'm not going to step away from this and think, OK, there are 25 neural circuits that can explain 10 of the things that David's talking about.

And what I'm thinking about is the fact that everybody has a brain. They have a mind. Forget the brain. The brain's just the physical structure. But what that manifests, what that creates is the mind. And everybody has that. So I do believe that everyone has the capacity to do what you're talking about at some level.

I also will be the first to confess that I think you are highly unusual. Let's just say maybe even n of 1, as we say in science. Sample size of one. Somebody who has created this process for themselves and keeps them in this-- themselves in this forward center of mass with the stick battering the back of their head all the time. Highly unusual.

But this internal medicine cabinet that you're talking about building up, true confidence, not needing anything from the outside, I like to think that people want that. They want to be known. They're afraid. But that they want to be known for who they really are and that you're describing the path to do this. And I will say I'm immensely grateful that you're talking to us this way today about things that you've talked about before. But we're hitting it a little differently, I like to think.

DAVID GOGGINS: Very differently.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Because what you're talking about is a process. It's verbs. It's all verbs.

DAVID GOGGINS: All action.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And it's not about success. It's more, actually, about keeping that friction dialed to 10. And no energy drink, no supplement. People often misunderstand me. They think-- like, I'm big on people getting sunlight in the morning so they set their circadian rhythm and get better sleep and so they can-- et cetera. But then people always think-- they go straight to the supplements. What should I take? And then, of course, people think I'm all about supplements. And supplements are one piece for me. But it's like tiny fraction compared to the doing, the do's and don'ts.

DAVID GOGGINS: That's why I didn't want to talk about that today. That's why I'm glad we're talking about this. This is it. This is it. Like, the brain is the most powerful weapon in the world. And it's crazy how a kid that wasn't real smart, I was forced to go only internal. External had to go away. The external world had to go away. In living so deep inside myself, it was me in this brain and figuring out how this thing works.

And so many people are doing exactly that, the supplements, the this, the that. And I agree, it helps. But once you figure out your brain, you become unstoppable to almost anything. Yeah, you can't beat death. You can't whatever, whatever. Your brain is amazing.

Once you feed it the right conversation, the right mental nutrients, the right mental supplements, the right internal dialogue at the right time with the right hit, with the right proof of what you've done in the past, and you send that right to the right circuit, dude, you're a fucking beast. A beast.

But once again, you just can't read about it. You can't sit back and be a theorist. You have to be a fucking practitioner. And in that practice is where that becomes proof-positive of what I'm saying. It's like, god, David Goggins is blowing my mind. What is this? He's not crazy.

And so many people, a lot of people, have listened to me the right way. And they come back, and they're like, I'm totally on board. It happened. It happened. I'm like, it'll keep going, man, if you keep doing it. But that is it, man. There's no sun. There's no glory. There's no carrot. There's no victory.

But there is all of it in one. I just can't explain it real well to people, man. But what you get the other end is something that you're always found. You're never lost anymore. Doesn't mean the journey is easy. Doesn't get any easier. But you're always found.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I love that. I just want to hover on that for a sec the same way we hovered on haunted and the stick. I think people feel lost. I've certainly felt lost at times in my life, many times. And yeah, there's that thing. I don't think there's a neuroscience or a psychology term for it. Someone will put it in the comments and say, oh yeah, that's what so-and-so said. But like you said, we're not trying to be theoretical here. We're trying to be practical. The business of finding yourself and knowing, oh.

But it's sort of like I'm safe because I'm in danger, and I've been in danger before, and I got myself out. It always seems to come back to verbs. Again, I don't have a language for this. For once, I'm lost for words. There's like-- it's about a process, the algorithm. And the reason-- here, I'm just kind of trying to make sure I'm understanding things correctly. One of the reasons why it must be uncomfortable for you to be who you are publicly is because people want to focus on the running or the swearing.

And by the way, the swearing is welcome. I'll tell you, I came up through laboratories where all three people I worked for swore a lot. But there was one rule. I couldn't swear at people. So my graduate advisor, brilliant woman, unfortunately, she died early, they all died early-- I'm the common denominator. I had that internalized for a long time. Anyway, she said, but if you swear at people, you're out. But you can swear as much as you want.

So that's the rule I have. It's like, you can swear as much as you want. Just don't swear at people. And if you swear at people, better be ready to fight. Definitely not going to fight you. So you can swear at me, get away with it. But the fact of the matter is that it must be frustrating that people-- because I know people go, oh, it's all about supplements and ice baths. Listen, I like supplements. I love supplements and ice baths. But that's not the full picture. It's just a gravitational pull.

It's the swearing. It's the running. It's his feet that are all messed up. It's the fact that he got a Triton. He's a SEAL guy. Talk about that too. And there's a gravitational pull for people. And they're missing-- that's the tip of the iceberg, is what I'm realizing. I'm realizing that today thanks to the way you're phrasing things because the bigger vessel is all in here. And as you said, how do you put that in a book?

DAVID GOGGINS: It's impossible.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Because it's highly individual. You do it your way. And you're saying, everyone needs to go figure out how to do it their way for them.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yes. And the thing about being misunderstood, it's very frustrating, more than I can even imagine. I can't even express how frustrating it is when the cussing and everything comes from a place of real. I can't explain what I do without it. The passion comes out of me. It's almost like speaking in tongues because when you put that much work-- and people go, oh yeah, there's been this basketball player, this football player, this-- dude. No. No.

Everything, everything is work. Everything. And people don't believe it. So when I speak, the motherfucker and the fuck and the shit, that is what it took for me, what it takes for me, the anger, the passion, the jaw-dropping-- just it takes that because I'm not that.

This is how I look at it, man. What built this guy? Let's imagine being in the coldest water you can possibly take. I always go back to Hell Week with this. I hated that water. Hated it. You're sitting there locked arms, and you're in the water all the time. And they're bringing you in and out of the water, in and out of the water.

When you have this dialogue in your head, and these people are judging me off a freaking 1-minute video, and you're constantly your whole life, when you figured it out at 24, that I got to-- I just got to, just fucking got to, and this is just going to suck. Every day it's going to suck. And live like that to be better. And I put it this way. I'm in the water. The water is going over my head, the Pacific Ocean. It's freezing. February. Cold as shit. Been through three Hell Weeks.

For you to constantly win, win, win, when this voice over here, the real you, is saying get the fuck out of here, go, you're nobody. You've always been nobody. And it's true. People don't hear that. That's a true voice. That's a real reality of David Goggins at 24 years old. It's not a false reality.

And then you had to create another voice over here that is saying, you're better than that other voice. And you're in the freezing cold water that both voices don't want to fucking be in. But you win. Then goes from the water to the studying to the running to the losing weight to how you eat to how you function as a man. Every day of your life, you're winning these battles.

And then I have normal people who only have one voice. Never created the second voice. The winning voice is the second voice. They have one voice. And that's just, I'm a piece of shit. And that's all they hear. And then they judge people like me who are out here trying to be better. It's something that I can never really-- it's a frustrating thing for me because I know the majority of people.

I know what goes on in the brain because I studied the mind more than almost-- more than you because I'm a practitioner. So for you to be a piece of shit and come out of that, you don't just come out of it. You spend decades studying your mind and the human mind on how it functions in good environments, bad environments, stressful environments, patient environments. You study it all because you had to put all this together to create the mind to become successful.

So I had to-- it wasn't like God blessed me with this brain. I had to create a mind. And so in doing so, I figured out every piece of shit human being in the world because that's what I was going off of for myself. So I know why you go on Instagram. I know why you-- because you just have the time. You have the time because you don't want to put that time into bettering oneself.

So I know why I'm misunderstood. I'm misunderstood by people who have plenty of time on their hands to misunderstand me because they are exactly where I once was, which is a low-life, lazy piece of shit. And it's the harsh reality of people who troll you, who go after you. They have nothing better to do with their lives. It's not some after school special. It's the truth.

But I once was that way. I know where it all comes from. That's why it's frustrating to me now because I'm not so frustrated at the fact that I'm being trolled. I'm frustrated by the fact that you don't have the courage, the courage to try to be somebody better than what you're not. And that's the frustrating part.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It's interesting because earlier, we were talking about relationships. And you said, in a very candid way, and I really appreciate you sharing that, that you make sure that the people close to you, your family, has everything they need and that they also understand that you're going to take what you need to continue to build you period.

DAVID GOGGINS: Period.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: In some ways, it seems you've also included the general public in that family. You're saying, listen, I'm going to give you what you need. I'm going to give you as much of myself as I can, except I'm going to stop right at the line that if I were to cross it is going to prevent me from continuing to build myself. And by the way, this relationship only exists because I don't cross that line.

And I think as much as there are detractors out there or people that try-- I mean, whatever they're doing is pretty feeble, in my mind. I mean, it's like cap gun fire, it that.

DAVID GOGGINS: Very feeble.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So many of us, men and women, old and young, hear something and feel something in your message. Like, yeah, it seems kind of crazy. Gosh. Doesn't he ever just relax? What about his sleep? Look at his feet. He's going to-- he's going to injure himself. Listen, I'll be very direct. I got friends who were in the Teams who just go, what's he going to do when he can't run? And I know the answer is keep running.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: But it's more comfortable for people, even high achievers--

DAVID GOGGINS: Especially high achievers.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: --to believe that if you took one thing away, that it would all go away. It's absolutely clear that's not the case with you. I'm 100% convinced. I just know that because we're talking about this.

DAVID GOGGINS: Do you know how many times I haven't been able to run? Two heart surgeries. Multiple knee surgeries. And after every knee surgery, they said, you're not going to run again. And I'm fine with that. There's no running up here, bro. None. This was what it was all about. That's what they lost. What if you can't run? Give a fuck. It was never about running. Why do you think I run? It's the worst thing. I hate doing it more than anything. Hence the willpower.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Right. Your anterior mid-cingulate cortex

DAVID GOGGINS: Hence the willpower.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: --would start to regress if you loved running.

DAVID GOGGINS: Think about it. Every day, I wake up. I don't just run a mile, two miles. It's the one thing I hate the most to do. And I do it like I love it. 250, 260, 300-mile runs at one time. No sleep. And every step, when I get to the-- think about this. I get to the fucking start line cussing at Jennifer. Why the fuck am I here? I hate this shit.

After 70-some hours of running, every fucking question I ever had is answered. Every question I had is answered. I capped success. People go, what do you mean, you capped success? For me to be who I am-- so when I go smokejump, I smoke jump three to four months out of the year, sometimes five.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Could you, just for those that aren't educated about-- just give us a brief description of what smokejumping entails.

DAVID GOGGINS: So basically, you jump into fires. Not into them, but you jump by fires that people can't get to.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So out of planes and helicopters.

DAVID GOGGINS: Right, out of planes. I parachute. It's all parachuting. So you parachute out of airplanes. And then you fight the fire, you and sometimes four other guys or maybe eight other guys, guys and gals. And you're putting this fire out. So I lose millions of dollars every summer to do this. It blows people's minds. Why the hell are you doing this?

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And you're breathing soot.

DAVID GOGGINS: I'm breathing soot. Knees are jacked up. Hitting the ground. Hurting. Whatever. Talking to normal people, they'll never get it, so I don't even explain it to them. But this is why-- this is why I call it capped success. I'm talking financial success.

For me to continue having that willpower, the second I just become a speaking monkey and travel around and speaking gigs 12 months out of the year, put camps on, do this, put on lectures, get supplement lines and do this and write more books and shit, I've ruined the exact thing I worked on my entire life.

And while I didn't know it until the day, but something always told me, this is a very, very, very perishable skill, this willpower that you have, because I do have a willpower that I have never seen in anybody in my life. It is a haunting force that just keeps me going. And I know that that is my strength. If you have that-- so that's worth every dime I've ever made in my life is the fact I can look a man in the eye finally and have a real conversation without going like this because I'm lying, or I'm a piece of shit.

Or I know-- you know how a person-- and so many people do this shit. They're talking to you on who they want to be. They're lying to you. And they walk away-- I've done it so many times. You walk away like, god, man. If I could just tell them the truth. Why the hell can't I just tell him the truth?

Know how good it feels for me now to look at you in your eye and every man I see because women won't get this. Women will not get this. Man to man, that man shit, when you look another man in the eye, and you know that everything you're fucking saying is real, and it comes from a real working place, something that you earned, it's the best feeling in the world.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: You can say that actually happened. Like, I know with certainty what I'm saying actually happened.

DAVID GOGGINS: Actually happened. Who I am and who I say I am, I am. No more lies. No more skirting the truth. No more bullshit. And that is worth every dime I've ever made in my life. And I swear to God on that. Every dime I've ever made in my life, building who I built, so I capped success because I know that if I ever go 12 months out of the year and don't put several-- every day, I'm going at it.

But several months out of the year, I go right back to ground zero, which means I'm just fucking David Goggins. No Goggins. No carry boats, fucking logs bullshit. It's just pick up that fucking Pulaski and dig. Hey, get that fucking pump. Walk down a mile. Put it in the fucking water. Mosquitoes beating-- you're just David Goggins. You're nobody because that's where my growth is. That's where my willpower comes from. And that's where it stays.

That's why when I talk to you now-- and can't nobody talk like this, dude. People don't talk with this kind of passion because it ain't there. It ain't there. They're regurgitating some shit from 30 fucking years ago. I'm regurgitating shit from an hour ago. Hour ago. Come on, man. It's just be real. And I can't be on these podcasts. I can't talk to anybody without being real. I'll go away. I'll just go away because I can't give you what I want to give you.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: You said perishable skill. I think that's another set of words I want to highlight because skill implies behavior. And when we were just talking a second ago about the deep, true bedrock sense of confidence that comes from looking someone in the eye and telling somebody something that you absolutely know it's true because it happened, you're talking about actions. Not talking about perceptions. You're not talking about what you believe happened. You know it happened.

And there's something really concrete about actions. I mean, that's what's so interesting is we're talking about the mind. But actions are the manifestation of the mind. And the stuff that just stays in here, people die with that. It doesn't go anywhere. Long ago, somebody said-- I forget what the context was. It was a neuroscientist. He said, most emotions, they're just emotions. They're just in there. You don't have to do anything with them.

And I think certain emotions you want to do something with. But I think people forget this. They feel miserable, like they're going to dissolve into a puddle of their own tears. No one ever died from an emotion. But they feel-- they overwhelm us as if it's a tidal wave. It's going to pull us under and drown us. It's so interesting to me because I think what people-- listen, you have a gravitational pull. People can feel the energy. I think, yes, you're either completely badly or partially understood. There's only one guy on the planet that truly understands you.

I think there's one woman, Jennifer, who probably understands you as much as anyone's going to. And then the rest of us are kind of grasping, trying to figure it out. But you're saying, go inward. So first, go inward. And then it's actions. Inward and actions. Now, the inward piece is something I'd like to just spend a little bit of time on because there are a couple of characters from history, people that were in concentration camps. Nelson Mandela. I mean, I'm not sure he had Instagram in there. I'm pretty sure he didn't.

And I don't think there was anyone coaching him on, hey, you're going to get out someday. And actually, you're going to lead an entire country. I'm pretty sure that's not how it worked. He had to find it here. He had to find it between his ears. And there are other examples. But that's an important one.

So the process of going inward, does it, for you-- and here, I will ask for suggestions because I think people want-- there are those of us who want to build this skill. Wall yourself off. Phone off for big portions of the day, perhaps. Texting off. The requests, the this, the that. Anyone that knows you knows that-- we've communicated a few texts, but most of it comes through a filter. She's great. She knows you. And she knows how to protect your time.

DAVID GOGGINS: And that hurts people's feelings. People get mad about that.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Hey, God bless-- God bless you, Jennifer. Cutting oneself off, when you're in there, you say it's just you. And the voices that come up are not pleasant. And then at some point, it converts to action. OK. What is the process of picking the action? That's the piece that I feel like there's, like, a bridge to build here, if you can, if you would.

DAVID GOGGINS: So the action being, like, what's next?

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Yeah, so when you go to sleep at night, when that happens, you know what you're going to do the next day? It's pre-planned?

ANDREW HUBERMAN: OK.

DAVID GOGGINS: Yes. It's always the same thing.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: You're not building it on the fly.

DAVID GOGGINS: No. Nothing's on the fly. So how it works internally for me is I'll put it exactly how it is. I'm an artist. And every day, I'm painting Mona Lisa. Every day. And but it's a different one. It's not the same painting. So every day I wake up, even though I'll do the same thing, it takes a different way to get there.

So every day, in my mind, I'm going through my mind. I'm just like-- and a good painter will not just paint. He needs to create. And you can't create with phones and everything going around you. So you got to block yourself off. You only do two podcasts in a year. You block yourself off. And you're painting this thing inside. And you're going through all these different colors of paint and everything else.

And you can only figure out the right painting if you spend the correct amount of time in your brain. So every single day, I'm literally going through my mind, and I'm painting. I'm creating this masterpiece. And the masterpiece is always myself. And but to do that, you cannot have any distractions because if you're talking to an artist and he's trying to think about the next painting, he can't. It's impossible to listen to you and listen to what your mind and body are telling you we must do.

Because people don't do enough of. They don't do any of it. They don't have passion. They lack passion, drive, determination because you haven't spent time with yourself. Your mind will tell you what is next. But you haven't spent the time to go, all right, let me just figure this out. You're looking for let me Google this, and let me Google that, and let me-- you're not going to find it there because there's billions of people in this world. And they're all supposed to be individuals.

But we have a pack mentality. That's why you're so fucking lost. Why am I so unique? I'm being exactly what the fuck I was supposed to be. I ain't follow shit. And when I did follow shit, I was like everybody else. The second I said, OK, man, hang on, dude, you don't like this, you don't like this, you don't like this, who are you, David Goggins? Who are you supposed to be?

Miraculously, all these things just-- I couldn't even-- the list of shit I had to do, just, wham. It's like, fuck. OK. Wow. Once you sit down with yourself and say, OK, I don't want to be like Michael Jordan or Jim Brown-- they're both born on my birthday. So I looked at their birthday. I said, oh, maybe I can be one of the-- I can't. I'm going to be David fucking Goggins. And that looks like this. It just came. Everything flooded.

So every single day of my life, there's a different thing that comes up that I have to do. But no one knows what to do because everybody else is following steps. Like the Republican and Democratic parties. I'm not political--

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Neither am I.

DAVID GOGGINS: --at all for this reason. Republicans are going to vote Republican. Democrats are going to vote Democrat. You're not even a human fucking being, bro. No way all you fuckers agree with all the same fucking shit. And I know I don't. So once you figure out yourself and who you are, all the answers come.

So every night, a different painting is being painted. And it's a beautiful painting for myself. I'm like, OK. That's it. It may look the same to most motherfuckers. But the end result is very fucking different. That's why my-- if you look at what I've done in 49 years, it's more than most people will ever do in their life because they were a race car driver. And that's what they did. They drove a fucking car. It's great.

I was all kind of shit because that's exactly what the painting was saying to do. It's what the mind was saying to do. Wasn't saying just drive a car, so then that race car driver didn't know what the fuck to do. He retires from being a race car driver, and they're lost. People go, how are you still-- I don't get it.

Dude, you're never going to fill your list. But you never found your list because it never was presented in front of you because your head was cluttered with shit because you never just stopped for lots of minutes, lots of years, and just said, all right, it's me and you. Let it go. And it just-- bam. It's right there. It's right there.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: I'm not a psychologist, as I mentioned before. But I'm going to venture a hypothesis here. I think that you've mastered the process of internal dialogue. But when I say dialogue, I think most people think, oh, the inner voice, the chatter. But that's just one half of a dialogue. A dialogue is a two-way street.

So I completely agree because I know from experience that when we go inward, oftentimes, we hear things, if we're really honest with ourselves, it's like, oh no, I don't want to think about that. No. And then we start looking outward. Or we start trying to shift our attention or distract. And there are a million reasons that are handed to us, excuses, and seemingly good justifications to be able to do that.

But dialogue is a two-way street. And it hit me while you were just saying what you were saying, I was paying very close attention. And I realized David Goggins is talking about the voice that comes up, including the terrible stuff that no one wants to hear about themselves from themselves. But then he's also got the dialogue down where he knows the counter voice. He goes, yeah, you're right. And so I'm going to do this. Or maybe no, remember this.

You're in a dialogue, a two-way dialogue in there, not a one-way chatter dialogue. There are books written by famous psychologists about chatter, trying to shift your internal narrative. You're like, bring the internal-- the internal narrative, that's what going inward is about. But it's not one voice. Again, there's a hypothesis. And I'm not claiming to be all-knowing. Lord knows I'm not all-knowing. But you've mastered the dialogue.

And if there are three voices, strong, medium, and weak, in there, you're like, let's all come to the table. So you've got a symphony of voices in there that are all you, that you know to be you. And you know how to have those convers-- you're not afraid to be in those conversations. And then you know what the outcome of that committee decision is, and you put it into real-world action. And the world only sees the action.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: And only you can know your internal dialogue. And only I can know my internal dialogue. And the only way to, quote unquote, "know it" is to spend a hell a lot of time there.

DAVID GOGGINS: A lifetime.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Got it.

DAVID GOGGINS: A lifetime. Like, think about it. For me to be sitting here in front of you, you're not going to call 300-pound Ecolab guy to come sit here. You might. I don't know. Maybe.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Probably not.

DAVID GOGGINS: Probably not. Think about this. What we teach people is kind, kindness to yourself. Do you think if I taught myself kindness-- and I agree with it. God, so many people-- so many people take me out of context, it's ridiculous. Take it however the fuck you want to take it. When I was 300 pounds, where do you think that conversation would that got me if I spoke kindness to myself?

I'll tell you where it gets me. Right back to 7-Eleven with another box of mini chocolate donuts and a chocolate milkshake. That's the one voice. That's the one voice that most of us have that you're talking about. If you don't have a conversation in there, the other voice that you create that says, OK, how does this look? Looks very ugly. That kind conversation for me went away a long time ago, which is why the dialogue is now what you see. A lot of action.

Because most people have inaction because there's one person talking. And that one person is always leading you down the same path, the path that makes you feel very comfortable and happy with yourself. The second you create the other voice, there's conflict. Just battles. Just wars. Just defeat.

One thing I learned, and I taught myself this, and people go, I don't understand what you're saying, I'm going to try to break it down real quick. I didn't teach myself victory first. I taught myself failure. I taught myself how to fail. And people like, that's so depressing. Is it? When you're 300 pounds and you can't read and write and you're fucked up, you know how many times you're going to fucking fail on that process?

So if you don't know how to fail, there is no victory. I never talked about winning because I knew the path to winning was going to be years of failing first. So I taught myself how to fail properly. No one teaches you how to fucking fail. But if you're going out for insurmountable fucking odds that make absolutely no fucking sense, a Black kid that can't swim, 300 pounds-- going to be a Navy SEAL. OK.

You better teach yourself how to fail first because if you sit in failure for too long, you will never come out of it. So the first part of my success was learning how to fail properly. And then eventually, I started getting a few victories. But that's what people don't get. When you have buried yourself in such a deep fucking hole, you better first talk about the failures you're going to have first. And that's when that other voice comes up.

It tells you, we've got to do something. But it also tells you, boy, I'm not going to lie to you, Goggins. You're in for a fucking climb, bro. You're going to get your ass handed to you, made fun of, the outside noise, the inside noise. Both voices are going to be fucking telling you to go fuck yourself. You are in for hell, bro. I am. So I better learn to fail.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: So this is what you mean when you say that whatever anyone says, it's insignificant?

DAVID GOGGINS: Insignificant as fuck.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: It's the cap gun fire because it's just like it-- because the voice in your own head is far worse. And I should say, sorry, one of the voices in your head. I'm being very detailed, almost surgical about that because I think this thing about inner dialogue we think is one voice. But you're making it clear it's many voices.

DAVID GOGGINS: It is. And the thing about it is, you have to be really-- and sometimes all the voices are telling you the wrong shit, man. But through years, years, not a podcast or listening to a book or reading a book, years of sacrifice, of suffering, of diligent pinpoint fucking work on what you want to do for yourself, not like, oh, let me just do a bunch of shit. Let me-- I want to be in every task possible.

No. Pinpoint what I want to do with my life. What happens is you have all these voices that are telling you you're fucked up, and this is going to be hard. But for some reason, you put so much practice into you that you can ignore every one of them that are telling you you're not going to fucking make it. And still be able to fucking make it because you have put the practice in that you know this is the process.

It's such a daunting task that all the voices are saying no. But you still have the conviction that I know I can do this. And that's what it took for me to get here. 20, 30 years ago, I had this-- 35 or whatever it was, 25 years ago, pipe dream. And ever since then, every voice was like, you're a fucking nut. But when you put that practice in every day, you lace them up. And I mean, run. It's just a metaphor for life.

When you lace them motherfuckers up every day, pretty soon, you win. Pretty soon, you'll fucking win. If you have the courage and the heart and the dedication and the mindset of everybody can go fuck themselves, I know what I know. I've listened to myself enough to know. I know what I know. None of you can hear what I'm hearing. And that's what people don't do enough of. They don't listen to their journey. They listen to everybody else's shit.

Before you know it, I'm crazy. But if I'm so fucking crazy, why am I so successful? How that happen? But I'm so misguided and fucked up. And don't listen to him. Why am I the only one to do a whole bunch of shit? Why am I a trailblazer? Why? How is that possible? How can you be fucked up and also self-made at the same fucking-- no. No.

Obviously, you're not looking at the truth in front of you. The truth in front of you is it sucks. It's painful. It's fucking mind-numbing. And that is the truth. And that's why a lot of people don't like listening to me because this is what it takes, creating another voice and sometimes going at it alone. All the time going at it alone because no one's going to believe in you. And that's that.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: What I'm about to say is not conjecture. And I can say that with confidence because I did a four-episode guest series with a brilliant psychiatrist, a guy named Paul Conti. He's from Trenton. He's a Stanford, Harvard-trained guy. He's also got a lot of street in him. He's had his own hardship, real hardship. He's brilliant. And he said something that I'll never forget, which is, we think that the forebrain, the part of our brain that creates strategy, et cetera, is the supercomputer.

He said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. He's like, the supercomputer of the brain is the unconscious mind. It's the part of our mind that's controlling most everything. And most people, unfortunately, don't do the work to understand how their unconscious is controlling them. And that's a scary thing, this idea, like your mind is controlling you. And I'm not going to get into the free will debate. I believe in at least some will.

I believe what you're describing and this internal dialogue, I think you have access to your unconscious mind by listening to the dialogue, going inward. We know this is true in sleep, in dreams, in meditation, and just by shutting out everything else, shutting out all the external noise, which is filled with things that pull us to it. Noise makes it sound bad, but it's the gravitational pull of all the things that allow us to distract ourselves without knowing. The ice cream. The have a cookie. The Merry Christmas.

The unconscious mind, this huge piece of the iceberg underneath that Paul calls the supercomputer, he's saying that with knowledge as a neurobiologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, so he really knows, that's the piece that if one does real introspection, he calls it the cupboards. You got to look in the cupboards. And it's often really scary what you find in there. And most people are just like, I don't even want to know the cupboards are there. But you're pulling all the cupboard doors open.

And then you're-- and you're extremely deliberate with what gets put into action. You're not just going, oh, like, I'm pissed, so I'm going to act pissed. Or I'm tired, so I'm going to act tired. It's you're picking very carefully what to do. And that's a process that I'm guessing came to you. Does it come to you as a, OK, it makes sense why running makes sense. It makes sense why smokejumping makes sense.

So it seems like a huge portion of your time is spent understanding yourself and making sense to you. And so when people don't understand you, it's got to be extra frustrating because most people don't understand themselves. So then we're all running around going, you're this, and you're that because most people are just unwilling to look inward.

And I'm including myself, by the way. I mean, I've done a fair amount of introspection. But I'm inspired today, that word, inspired, but it's true, motivated to start going inward further because it is scary. It's like, we don't know what's in those cupboards, and it's terrifying, especially because we don't know.

DAVID GOGGINS: And those are the first ones to open up. And like you talked about, you got to go through those cupboards. I do spring cleaning every fucking day in those dark cupboards. Those dark cabinets are the ones I start with first. That's the real me, man. That's the real me. That's why I'm not ashamed. I don't hide. I used to hide. I don't hide anymore.

He's exactly right. I don't know all the fucking science behind shit. I know what I know. That's why I don't listen to anybody anymore. I don't listen to shit. I think most people are full of shit because I know. I know the deep, dark secrets of those fucking cupboards. It's ugly, man. And every day, I'm talking to them. Every day, I'm cleaning them. I'm cleaning them, and I'm talking to the same demons that came out of those fucking cupboards as I'm cleaning them. Sometimes they go right back in them again.

It's not easy. And this is why most of us just-- why I am misunderstood because what comes out of those cabinets that I'm cleaning, sometimes they see on Instagram. Sometimes they'll see it in a podcast. Sometimes they see it in this one. I turn people off. Open up your own cabinets. And then go talk about it. Let me see how pretty it looks. Let me see how pretty you sound. Let me see how put together your words are.

I bet you a fuck or a motherfucker comes out because for you to go back in there again to clean the same fucking cabinet that the demon came out of takes some big balls, bro. To do it every day of your life. To go back in there and spring clean every day, not once a fucking year, once every decade. Every day you know it gets dusty. And every day, you don't start with the victories. You don't go, oh, this is nice. Look at my-- look at my I love me wall. Let me clean up. This is a little dusty.

No. I go right for the things that are going to keep me buried. And I go right there first because if I don't clean those out first, the day doesn't start. So what are you saying to me is truth. And like I told you many times today, I can never figure out how to explain this shit to people because I'm not neuro nothing. I'm just a guy that said, OK, we got to start in the dungeon.

And we got to stay here for the rest of our lives. For you to become successful, the dungeon is a place that has to be clean. And it's the scariest place to be. That's why I'm misunderstood because I'm speaking from the dungeon. That's why I am successful because I go there every damn day. And that is the truth, what he says. It's the exact truth. Those cabinets are fucking dusty, dirty, and scary as shit. Broken glass, fucking dark, spiders, cobwebs.

But most of all, your biggest fears, the biggest things that put you in a fucked up place you are today are in there. That's why we all like to keep them shut. You like to lock them up. Act like they never happened. That's why you never grow. You never improve. You never have real conversations like we're having right now. Never. Never. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. Let's not-- no, no, no. Let's not go there.

I talked to so many people who tell me that. Let's talk about this. Because they'll tell me, but they can only say it once. And they'll say it in passing. They won't get deep in the weeds with it. Like, you can't just clean it. Motherfucker, you got to spit shine that motherfucker. You got to relive it, every fucking detail of it. You can't just be like, oh yeah, yeah, my dad beat me. And it is what it is.

It ain't is what it is, motherfucker. It's killing you. It's taken over your whole fucking life. But that's the conversation. Yeah, my dad beat-- but I'm fine now, though. I'm good. OK. All right. No, you ain't. You ain't fine. You ain't fine. This is real talk. People don't have that. So your boy's right. 100% right. Scary as shit. It's scary as shit. But it makes you who you're supposed to be.

And that's the test. We forget. We think we're supposed to breathe air and have kids and pay the bills and shit. But what's this life about? That makes no sense. We're being tested, my friend. Tests come when you have not studied. Tests come when you think that you're in a great place.

That's the test. The test is every day of your life. And most of us fail because we don't know why we're here because we don't go inward to say, oh. You gave me a lot of shit to fix, man. And this test sucks. But then you start.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: David Goggins. I don't think I could add to that. I know I can't. Thank you for sharing what you shared today. I mean, as much as your process or anyone's process can't be completely understood from the outside, you gave us a real window into this thing, this process that you-- as you said, God put it on you.

I believe in God too. People can believe what they want. But somehow, your life, God gave you these challenges early on. And then there was a point where you went internal. And like you said, you developed a skill. But it's a perishable skill. And you clearly live in the process of opening those cupboards, reopening those cupboards, trying to spit shine those cupboards, understanding that they're never, ever really done, but that you can gain ground on them, that you can win day after day after day.

And you really shared a lot of concrete things that I know people are going to be able to apply if they choose. And I agree with you. I think most people will be like, whoa. That was a lot. It's heavy. I think I want to just kind of bake myself in Netflix and Chex Mix instead. But there's also the reality that there are men and women, boys and girls who hear that and go, OK, and start cracking the cupboards open.

And I just know that for myself, I'm extremely grateful that you're willing to put it all out there. You're so brutally honest, so brutally authentic. That word authenticity gets thrown around so much. And I can tell you that for me and for everybody else, that's really what resonates. So whether or not you want to, whether or not it's the purpose behind it or not, you're lighting the path. So thank you.

DAVID GOGGINS: Respect Thank you. Thanks for having me.

ANDREW HUBERMAN: Thank you for joining me for today's discussion with David Goggins. To learn more about David and to find links to his two fantastic books, "Can't Hurt Me," and "Never Finished," please see the show note captions. If you're learning from and/or enjoying this podcast, please subscribe to our YouTube channel. That's a terrific zero-cost way to support us. In addition, please subscribe to the podcast on both Spotify and Apple. And on both Spotify and Apple, you can leave us up to a five-star review.

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The Power of Resilience: How To Develop Your Inner Strength | Marisa Peer

Home | Blog | Self Improvement | The Power of Resilience: How To Develop Your Inner Strength | Marisa Peer

Published: March 18, 2022

Resilience is an important skill we all must develop to cope with life’s challenges and obstacles.

Indeed, resilience, determination, and grit are all factors that are crucial to our success and ability to thrive both physically and mentally as individuals.

It’s worth noting that while resiliency includes both emotional and physical resilience, today, we will be diving into emotional resilience, also known as psychological resilience.

So that no matter what life throws at you, you have the inner mental strength and resilience to recover and bounce back.

In this article, we will be exploring:

What resilience is
Examples of inspirational resilience
Six ways to develop powerful resilience

Let’s start by understanding the true meaning of resilience…

What Is Resilience?

Resilience means different things for different people, but one common definition is “The process of adapting well in the face of hardship.”

When referring to mental resilience, this would be how a person’s emotional state and functioning can be recovered after rejection, destructive criticism, or a stressful event.

It’s the ability to keep going no matter what. To quickly pick yourself up after a fall and keep moving forward.

By possessing the strength of resilience, you will have the ability to keep your head up in the face of adversity and never give up on your dreams and goals.

Inspirational Examples of Incredible Resilience

Many of the world’s most successful people have faced incredible hardships but they never gave up. Instead, they kept fighting, even when things looked bleak. As a result, these people have developed robust mental resilience to overcome rejection and achieve great success.

When Naomi Campbell was told the door is shut for Black girls to get on the cover of Vogue, she said, “Well, I’ll kick it open.” This was a clear message that she would not allow others to have the power to reject her or make her feel bad. So instead, she made her own judgments about herself that she was attractive, interesting, and worthy enough to be on the cover. Sure enough, Naomi Campbell has now been on the cover of American Vogue eight times.

Famously, J.K. Rowling, an author best known for her ‘Harry Potter’ series, faced tremendous rejection from publishers but never gave up. Remarkably, she stuck her early rejection letters on her kitchen wall. Instead of letting this lower her confidence, she saw this as something she had in common with every writer she had ever admired, as publishers had also rejected them initially. Today, her books have sold over 500 million copies worldwide.

Lastly, Celine Dion sent her music to a recording label and called them, asking whether they liked her music. When they rejected her, she demonstrated incredible self-belief and resilience. She told them that they mustn’t have played it, as she believed it was not possible to hear her music and not love it. So they got her music out and played it. Thanks to her self-belief and resilience, they signed her on the spot.

These are all excellent examples of resilience in life. They all experienced their fair share of rejection, but they bounced back—they knew what they wanted to achieve and wouldn’t let anything or anyone get in their way.

When you face challenges, obstacles, and hardships in your life, you must also have the ability to bounce back. To return bigger, brighter, stronger, and better than ever before.

How To Develop Resilience

So, we’ve seen the effect of building resilience, but how can we develop it in our own lives?

There are many ways of developing resilience, but here are a few of the most effective methods:

The bounce-back factor

The first step in developing amazing resilience is to develop the ability to bounce back .

None of us like to be rejected. It can hurt us and often makes us feel sad, embarrassed, and wounded.

This is because humans are very fragile and we hate rejection—our minds run from it. So much so that often, we pledge to never put ourselves in that position that brought us pain, sadness, or embarrassment again.

But if you take that feeling and think, “I never want to experience that again,” you won’t allow yourself to return and try again, and, most importantly, you deny yourself the opportunity to reach your goals.

Instead, we must learn from our past rejections. This must be a clear and decisive action to commit yourself to bouncing back. And who knows, that rejection you faced could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Perhaps you were rejected from a job application. But, with that added interview experience and time to improve your skills, you could find an even better job with amazing pay and benefits.

Or maybe you were dating someone who didn’t want to see you again, only to discover an amazing, new, exciting relationship soon after.

Being resilient means you will not let these rejections negatively affect how you continue to pursue your goals.

Harness the power of words

To strengthen your ability to bounce back, you must also harness the power of words . Tell yourself powerful statements, such as, “I am resilient,” “I have incredible grit,” “Nothing can phase me or deter me from my goals.”

These words are not only for you to say internally. You must also make a conscious effort to use them in your life with others.

For example, if you had a job interview that went badly, do you come away and call your friend explaining how awful it was and that you died of embarrassment when you couldn’t answer their questions?

When a relationship fails, do you say that the breakup “crushed” you? Do you explain to those close to you that you wouldn’t be able to cope with the pain of heartbreak ever again?

Instead, update your language. Say you learned some valuable lessons and are determined to bounce back.

This is the language used by someone who has that bounce-back factor; the grit, resilience, and determination to come back stronger than ever.

Never listen to negative criticism

People who have amazing resilience and grit don’t allow the negative words of others to affect their goals or how they feel about themselves.

When people say negative things, they may acknowledge it, but they won’t let those words in.

How do you do this?

It’s very simple. When someone says something negative to you, simply thank them for sharing their opinions.

Because that’s all it is—their opinion—and instead of listening to their negative opinion, you can listen to your own opinion. After all, your opinion is the only opinion that matters.

When you learn to do this, rejection can no longer hurt you.

Of course, if someone has constructive criticism for you, then this can be extremely helpful in identifying the areas in which you can change to help you meet your goals.

It is important to differentiate destructive criticism from helpful criticism. Destructive criticism is made up of negative words that are not helpful to you improving. Allowing these negative words in can diminish self-esteem . That’s why it’s called destructive criticism.

Instead, tell yourself motivating, encouraging, exciting things full of determination and grit.

Praise yourself frequently

While criticism diminishes our self-esteem, praise builds it.

Something critical people rarely do is praise. This is because they are not only critical of others but they are also extremely critical of themselves. Their self-criticism causes them to project negative thoughts and feelings outwards, so it is vital not to let these words in.

Therefore, to ensure you can live a happy life filled with self-esteem, you must create the habit of praising yourself.

When you develop grit and resilience, you praise yourself and become your own cheerleader. You should always aim to cheer yourself on with praise, even when you’re not winning. At the end of each day, tell yourself what an amazing job you did and how proud you are of yourself for the steps that have moved you closer to your goals.

Praise is an excellent motivator for the human mind. So even if you have not achieved much that day, cheer yourself on with praise. Tell yourself, “You can do it, and tomorrow, you’re going to be amazing—you’ve got this.”

See rejection as a delay

You can still achieve whatever you set out to—it just may require a different path than you first expected.

This is because, “No,” always means, “Not yet.”

So don’t let the feeling of rejection stop you. Remember, it’s only a delay—nothing more.

It’s also important to mention that when something doesn’t work out or comes up short, this should be seen as informative data about what change may need to happen for them to finally say yes next time.

Equally, what one person will say, “No,” to, another will say, “Yes,” to. Because, as we’ve established, “No,” does not mean, “No,” rather it means, “Not now,” or, “Not for me.”

Therefore, when you get a, “No,” do not stop there. Instead, exercise your personal resilience and bounce back. Work on whatever it is you are experiencing your delay with and commit yourself to come back later to try again.

Develop excellent coping skills

Again, we must revisit the power of words.

When something doesn’t go to plan and you face a delay, remember to carefully choose your words as you react to the situation.

If you tell yourself, “I am losing my mind,” “I can’t cope,” “Everything is going wrong,” then you are creating an extremely negative blueprint that your mind and body will move towards.

Instead, tell yourself that you have amazing coping skills that will allow you to overcome any adversity life throws at you. For example, say, “I am resilient, determined, and won’t take, ‘No,’ for an answer.”

Tell these words to yourself whenever you face rejection, and eventually, you will find what once would’ve emotionally hurt you and deterred you from your goals will no longer hold you back.

This is how you create the powerful habit of resilience.

Final Thoughts

When you implement these habits into your life, you will see that nothing can hold you back from achieving your goals.

As you develop your resilience, you will see this emotional strength grow, helping you to overcome any fear you may have had about not being good enough or worthy of success .

Resilience will become your key to success, helping you bounce back from any obstacle that life throws your way—all through embodying the strong, determined nature of those who can cope with the delay in a healthy manner and won’t take, “No,” for an answer.

Remember, there’s no better time than now to start practicing your coping skills, praising yourself, acknowledging the power of words, and seeing rejection as nothing more than a delay when moving towards your goals. If you want to develop incredible inner strength and resilience in your life, check out Marisa Peer’s range of self-hypnosis audios today.

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The Power of Inner Strength: Harnessing Your Resilience and Power

The Power of Inner Strength: Harnessing Your Resilience and Empowerment

Table of contents, building resilience: how to cultivate inner strength in challenging times, unleashing your inner power: strategies for empowerment and personal growth.

The Role of Inner Strength in Overcoming Adversity: Inspiring Stories of Triumph

Nurturing Inner Strength: Techniques for Self-Care and Mental Well-being

Unleash your inner strength , embrace resilience , and empower your life.

In today's fast-paced and unpredictable world, it is essential to cultivate inner strength and resilience to navigate through challenging times. Building resilience is not only about bouncing back from adversity but also about harnessing your inner power to thrive and grow. It is about finding the strength within yourself to face life's challenges head-on and emerge stronger than ever before. In this article, we will explore some practical strategies to help you cultivate inner strength and build resilience in the face of adversity.

One of the first steps in building resilience is to develop a positive mindset. Cultivating a positive outlook allows you to see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, see them as stepping stones towards success. By reframing your perspective, you can tap into your inner strength and find the motivation to keep moving forward.

Another important aspect of building resilience is practicing self-care. Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is crucial in developing inner strength. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Prioritize self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of your routine. By nurturing yourself, you are better equipped to handle life's challenges with grace and resilience.

Building a support network is also essential in cultivating inner strength. Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who uplift and inspire you. Seek out mentors or role models who have overcome adversity and learn from their experiences. Having a strong support system can provide you with the encouragement and guidance needed to navigate through difficult times.

In addition to external support, it is crucial to develop self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during challenging times. Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments, and be gentle with yourself when facing setbacks. Remember that resilience is not about being perfect or never experiencing difficulties; it is about how you respond and bounce back from those challenges.

Another effective strategy for building resilience is setting realistic goals. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way. By setting achievable goals, you build confidence in your abilities and reinforce your inner strength. Remember to be flexible and adapt your goals as needed, as life is full of unexpected twists and turns.

Lastly, cultivating gratitude can significantly contribute to building resilience. Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, no matter how small. Gratitude shifts your focus from what is lacking to what is abundant in your life. It helps you develop a positive mindset and appreciate the strength and resilience you already possess.

In conclusion, building resilience and harnessing your inner strength is a lifelong journey. It requires cultivating a positive mindset, practicing self-care, building a support network, developing self-compassion, setting realistic goals, and cultivating gratitude. By implementing these strategies, you can navigate through challenging times with resilience and empowerment . Remember, you have the power within you to overcome any obstacle and emerge stronger than ever before.

The Power of Inner Strength: Harnessing Your Resilience and Empowerment

In today's fast-paced and demanding world, it is essential to tap into our inner strength and resilience to navigate through life's challenges. Inner strength is the ability to stay grounded and centered, even in the face of adversity. It is the power that lies within each of us, waiting to be harnessed and utilized to its fullest potential. When we tap into our inner strength, we become empowered to overcome obstacles, achieve our goals, and live a fulfilling life.

So, how can we unleash our inner power and cultivate resilience and empowerment? The first step is to develop a positive mindset. Our thoughts have a profound impact on our emotions and actions. By cultivating a positive mindset, we can reframe challenges as opportunities for growth and see setbacks as temporary roadblocks rather than permanent failures. This shift in perspective allows us to approach life's challenges with resilience and determination.

Another strategy for empowerment and personal growth is to set clear and achievable goals. When we have a clear vision of what we want to achieve, we can channel our energy and efforts towards reaching those goals. Setting goals also provides us with a sense of purpose and direction, which can be incredibly empowering. It is important to break down our goals into smaller, manageable steps, as this allows us to celebrate our progress along the way and stay motivated.

Building a support network is also crucial in harnessing our inner strength. Surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive individuals can provide us with the encouragement and motivation we need to keep going, especially during challenging times. Additionally, seeking guidance from mentors or coaches who have already achieved what we aspire to can provide valuable insights and strategies for personal growth.

Practicing self-care is another essential aspect of harnessing our inner strength. Taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional well-being allows us to recharge and replenish our energy reserves. Engaging in activities that bring us joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature, can help us maintain a healthy balance in our lives. It is important to prioritize self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of our daily routine.

Furthermore, embracing failure as a learning opportunity is crucial for personal growth and empowerment. Failure is not a reflection of our worth or abilities but rather a stepping stone towards success. By reframing failure as a valuable learning experience, we can bounce back stronger and more resilient than before. Embracing failure also requires cultivating self-compassion and practicing self-forgiveness. We must be kind and understanding towards ourselves, acknowledging that we are human and bound to make mistakes along the way.

Lastly, cultivating gratitude and practicing mindfulness can significantly enhance our inner strength and empowerment. Gratitude allows us to focus on the positive aspects of our lives and appreciate the blessings we have. Mindfulness, on the other hand, helps us stay present and fully engaged in the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. By practicing gratitude and mindfulness, we can cultivate a sense of inner peace and contentment, which further strengthens our resilience and empowers us to face life's challenges head-on.

In conclusion, harnessing our inner strength and empowerment is essential for personal growth and navigating through life's challenges. By developing a positive mindset, setting clear goals, building a support network, practicing self-care, embracing failure, and cultivating gratitude and mindfulness, we can tap into our inner power and live a resilient and empowered life. Remember, your inner strength is a force to be reckoned with – embrace it, nurture it, and let it guide you towards a life of fulfillment and success.

Life is full of challenges and obstacles that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Whether it's a personal setback, a professional failure, or a global crisis, adversity has a way of testing our resilience and pushing us to our limits. However, it is during these difficult times that our inner strength truly shines through.

Inner strength is the ability to persevere in the face of adversity, to stay positive and focused when everything seems to be falling apart. It is the power within us that allows us to rise above our circumstances and find the strength to keep going. Harnessing this inner strength is crucial for overcoming adversity and achieving personal growth.

One inspiring story of triumph in the face of adversity is that of Malala Yousafzai. At just 15 years old, Malala was shot in the head by the Taliban for advocating for girls' education in Pakistan. Despite this horrific act of violence, Malala refused to be silenced. She used her voice and her story to become a global advocate for education and women's rights, eventually becoming the youngest-ever Nobel Prize laureate. Malala's story is a testament to the power of inner strength and the ability to turn tragedy into triumph.

Another example of harnessing inner strength is the story of Nelson Mandela. After spending 27 years in prison for his anti-apartheid activism, Mandela emerged as a symbol of hope and reconciliation in South Africa. Instead of succumbing to bitterness and anger, Mandela chose forgiveness and unity. He became the country's first black president and worked tirelessly to dismantle the oppressive system of apartheid. Mandela's story is a powerful reminder that inner strength can not only help us overcome adversity but also inspire positive change in the world.

Closer to home, many individuals have their own stories of triumph over adversity. Take, for example, Sarah, a single mother who lost her job during the economic recession. Instead of giving up, Sarah tapped into her inner strength and started her own business. Through hard work and determination, she was able to turn her passion for baking into a successful bakery. Sarah's story is a reminder that inner strength can be found within each of us, and it is up to us to harness it and use it to create a better future.

So, how can we tap into our own inner strength and overcome adversity? It starts with cultivating a positive mindset. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of a situation, focus on the opportunities for growth and learning. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who can help lift you up during difficult times. Practice self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. Remember that setbacks are not failures but opportunities for growth and resilience.

In conclusion, the power of inner strength cannot be underestimated. It is the driving force that allows us to overcome adversity and achieve personal growth. Whether it's through inspiring stories like Malala Yousafzai and Nelson Mandela or through our own personal triumphs, harnessing our inner strength is essential for navigating life's challenges. So, let us tap into our inner reservoirs of resilience and empowerment and embrace the power of our own inner strength.

In today's fast-paced and demanding world, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and mental well-being. Nurturing our inner strength is essential for maintaining resilience and empowerment. By harnessing our inner strength, we can navigate through life's challenges with grace and confidence. In this article, we will explore some techniques for self-care and mental well-being that can help us cultivate and nurture our inner strength.

One of the most effective ways to nurture our inner strength is through practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, without judgment. It allows us to observe our thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. By practicing mindfulness, we can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and cultivate a more compassionate and non-reactive mindset.

Another technique for nurturing our inner strength is through the power of positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements that we repeat to ourselves to reinforce positive beliefs and attitudes. By regularly affirming positive statements such as “I am strong,” “I am capable,” and “I am worthy,” we can reprogram our subconscious mind and boost our self-confidence. Positive affirmations can be written down, repeated out loud, or even visualized in our minds.

Engaging in regular physical exercise is also crucial for nurturing our inner strength. Exercise not only improves our physical health but also has a profound impact on our mental well-being. When we exercise, our bodies release endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Regular exercise can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and increase our overall sense of well-being. Whether it's going for a run, practicing yoga, or participating in a team sport, finding an exercise routine that we enjoy is key to nurturing our inner strength.

In addition to mindfulness, positive affirmations, and exercise, another technique for nurturing our inner strength is through the practice of gratitude. Gratitude is the act of acknowledging and appreciating the good things in our lives. By cultivating a gratitude practice, we can shift our focus from what is lacking to what we already have. This shift in perspective can have a profound impact on our mental well-being and overall happiness. Keeping a gratitude journal, where we write down three things we are grateful for each day, is a simple yet powerful way to cultivate gratitude and nurture our inner strength.

Lastly, nurturing our inner strength also involves setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-care. Setting boundaries means knowing our limits and communicating them to others. It means saying no when we need to and prioritizing our own well-being. Self-care involves engaging in activities that bring us joy and rejuvenation. It can be as simple as taking a bubble bath, reading a book, or spending time in nature. By setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-care, we can protect our energy and nurture our inner strength.

In conclusion, nurturing our inner strength is essential for maintaining resilience and empowerment. By practicing mindfulness, using positive affirmations, engaging in regular exercise, cultivating gratitude, and setting healthy boundaries, we can cultivate and nurture our inner strength. These techniques for self-care and mental well-being are powerful tools that can help us navigate through life's challenges with grace and confidence. So, let's prioritize our well-being and harness the power of our inner strength.

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What are inner strengths.

Self-awareness
Authenticity
Self-respect
Self-reliance

Resources of Your Mind

Capabilities (e.g., mindfulness, resiliency)
Positive emotions (e.g., self-compassion, joy)
Attitudes (e.g., confidence, flexibility)
Somatic inclinations (e.g., grit, relaxation)
Virtues (e.g., integrity, generosity)

What Makes Up Your Inner Strengths?

Hardiness: to be courageous and motivated in the face of stressful circumstances
Resilience: to adapt effectively to stress and bounce back from adversity
Sense of coherence: to possess an understanding of how life works and a belief that it can be managed
Life purpose: to find meaning and purpose in the world around you; choosing how to respond to life circumstances
Self-transcendence: an ability to look to someone or something outside of themselves such as a “greater being” or to other human beings

Shared Dimensions of Inner Strength

Connectedness
Flexibility

Inner Strength and Depression

Use meditation to build up and enhance inner strengths, mindfulness meditation, mantra meditation.

I can handle anything life throws at me.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
Everything in life has a purpose.
I accept everything that I cannot control.
Today, I will choose peace.

Guided Meditation

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What does Emerson say about self-reliance?

In Emerson's essay “ Self-Reliance ,” he boldly states society (especially today’s politically correct environment) hurts a person’s growth.

Emerson wrote that self-sufficiency gives a person in society the freedom they need to discover their true self and attain their true independence.

Believing that individualism, personal responsibility , and nonconformity were essential to a thriving society. But to get there, Emerson knew that each individual had to work on themselves to achieve this level of individualism.

Today, we see society's breakdowns daily and wonder how we arrived at this state of society. One can see how the basic concepts of self-trust, self-awareness, and self-acceptance have significantly been ignored.

Who published self-reliance?

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote the essay, published in 1841 as part of his first volume of collected essays titled "Essays: First Series."

It would go on to be known as Ralph Waldo Emerson's Self Reliance and one of the most well-known pieces of American literature.

The collection was published by James Munroe and Company.

What are the examples of self-reliance?

Examples of self-reliance can be as simple as tying your shoes and as complicated as following your inner voice and not conforming to paths set by society or religion.

Self-reliance can also be seen as getting things done without relying on others, being able to “pull your weight” by paying your bills, and caring for yourself and your family correctly.

Self-reliance involves relying on one's abilities, judgment, and resources to navigate life. Here are more examples of self-reliance seen today:

Entrepreneurship: Starting and running your own business, relying on your skills and determination to succeed.

Financial Independence: Managing your finances responsibly, saving money, and making sound investment decisions to secure your financial future.

Learning and Education: Taking the initiative to educate oneself, whether through formal education, self-directed learning, or acquiring new skills.

Problem-Solving: Tackling challenges independently, finding solutions to problems, and adapting to changing circumstances.

Personal Development: Taking responsibility for personal growth, setting goals, and working towards self-improvement.

Homesteading: Growing your food, raising livestock, or becoming self-sufficient in various aspects of daily life.

DIY Projects: Undertaking do-it-yourself projects, from home repairs to crafting, without relying on external help.

Living Off the Grid: Living independently from public utilities, generating your energy, and sourcing your water.

Decision-Making: Trusting your instincts and making decisions based on your values and beliefs rather than relying solely on external advice.

Crisis Management: Handling emergencies and crises with resilience and resourcefulness without depending on external assistance.

These examples illustrate different facets of self-reliance, emphasizing independence, resourcefulness, and the ability to navigate life autonomously.

What is the purpose of self reliance by Emerson?

In his essay, " Self Reliance, " Emerson's sole purpose is the want for people to avoid conformity. Emerson believed that in order for a man to truly be a man, he was to follow his own conscience and "do his own thing."

Essentially, do what you believe is right instead of blindly following society.

Why is it important to be self reliant?

While getting help from others, including friends and family, can be an essential part of your life and fulfilling. However, help may not always be available, or the assistance you receive may not be what you had hoped for.

It is for this reason that Emerson pushed for self-reliance. If a person were independent, could solve their problems, and fulfill their needs and desires, they would be a more vital member of society.

This can lead to growth in the following areas:

Empowerment: Self-reliance empowers individuals to take control of their lives. It fosters a sense of autonomy and the ability to make decisions independently.

Resilience: Developing self-reliance builds resilience, enabling individuals to bounce back from setbacks and face challenges with greater adaptability.

Personal Growth: Relying on oneself encourages continuous learning and personal growth. It motivates individuals to acquire new skills and knowledge.

Freedom: Self-reliance provides a sense of freedom from external dependencies. It reduces reliance on others for basic needs, decisions, or validation.

Confidence: Achieving goals through one's own efforts boosts confidence and self-esteem. It instills a belief in one's capabilities and strengthens a positive self-image.

Resourcefulness: Being self-reliant encourages resourcefulness. Individuals learn to solve problems creatively, adapt to changing circumstances, and make the most of available resources.

Adaptability: Self-reliant individuals are often more adaptable to change. They can navigate uncertainties with a proactive and positive mindset.

Reduced Stress: Dependence on others can lead to stress and anxiety, especially when waiting for external support. Self-reliance reduces reliance on external factors for emotional well-being.

Personal Responsibility: It promotes a sense of responsibility for one's own life and decisions. Self-reliant individuals are more likely to take ownership of their actions and outcomes.

Goal Achievement: Being self-reliant facilitates the pursuit and achievement of personal and professional goals. It allows individuals to overcome obstacles and stay focused on their objectives.

Overall, self-reliance contributes to personal empowerment, mental resilience, and the ability to lead a fulfilling and purposeful life. While collaboration and support from others are valuable, cultivating a strong sense of self-reliance enhances one's capacity to navigate life's challenges independently.

What did Emerson mean, "Envy is ignorance, imitation is suicide"?

According to Emerson, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to you independently, but every person is given a plot of ground to till.

In other words, Emerson believed that a person's main focus in life is to work on oneself, increasing their maturity and intellect, and overcoming insecurities, which will allow a person to be self-reliant to the point where they no longer envy others but measure themselves against how they were the day before.

When we do become self-reliant, we focus on creating rather than imitating. Being someone we are not is just as damaging to the soul as suicide.

Envy is ignorance: Emerson suggests that feeling envious of others is a form of ignorance. Envy often arises from a lack of understanding or appreciation of one's unique qualities and potential. Instead of being envious, individuals should focus on discovering and developing their talents and strengths.

Imitation is suicide: Emerson extends the idea by stating that imitation, or blindly copying others, is a form of self-destruction. He argues that true individuality and personal growth come from expressing one's unique voice and ideas. In this context, imitation is seen as surrendering one's identity and creativity, leading to a kind of "spiritual death."

What are the transcendental elements in Emerson’s self-reliance?

The five predominant elements of Transcendentalism are nonconformity, self-reliance, free thought, confidence, and the importance of nature.

The Transcendentalism movement emerged in New England between 1820 and 1836. It is essential to differentiate this movement from Transcendental Meditation, a distinct practice.

According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Transcendentalism is characterized as "an American literary, political, and philosophical movement of the early nineteenth century, centered around Ralph Waldo Emerson." A central tenet of this movement is the belief that individual purity can be 'corrupted' by society.

Are Emerson's writings referenced in pop culture?

Emerson has made it into popular culture. One such example is in the film Next Stop Wonderland released in 1998. The reference is a quote from Emerson's essay on Self Reliance, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

This becomes a running theme in the film as a single woman (Hope Davis ), who is quite familiar with Emerson's writings and showcases several men taking her on dates, attempting to impress her by quoting the famous line, only to botch the line and also giving attribution to the wrong person. One gentleman says confidently it was W.C. Fields, while another matches the quote with Cicero. One goes as far as stating it was Karl Marx!

Why does Emerson say about self confidence?

Content is coming very soon.

Self-Reliance: The Complete Essay

Ne te quaesiveris extra."

Man is his own star; and the soul that can Render an honest and a perfect man, Commands all light, all influence, all fate ; Nothing to him falls early or too late. Our acts our angels are, or good or ill, Our fatal shadows that walk by us still." Epilogue to Beaumont and Fletcher's Honest Man's Fortune Cast the bantling on the rocks, Suckle him with the she-wolf's teat; Wintered with the hawk and fox, Power and speed be hands and feet.

Ralph Waldo Emerson left the ministry to pursue a career in writing and public speaking. Emerson became one of America's best known and best-loved 19th-century figures. More About Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson Self Reliance Summary

The essay “Self-Reliance,” written by Ralph Waldo Emerson, is, by far, his most famous piece of work. Emerson, a Transcendentalist, believed focusing on the purity and goodness of individualism and community with nature was vital for a strong society. Transcendentalists despise the corruption and conformity of human society and institutions. Published in 1841, the Self Reliance essay is a deep-dive into self-sufficiency as a virtue.

In the essay "Self-Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson advocates for individuals to trust in their own instincts and ideas rather than blindly following the opinions of society and its institutions. He argues that society encourages conformity, stifles individuality, and encourages readers to live authentically and self-sufficient lives.

Emerson also stresses the importance of being self-reliant, relying on one's own abilities and judgment rather than external validation or approval from others. He argues that people must be honest with themselves and seek to understand their own thoughts and feelings rather than blindly following the expectations of others. Through this essay, Emerson emphasizes the value of independence, self-discovery, and personal growth.

What is the Meaning of Self-Reliance?

I read the other day some verses written by an eminent painter which were original and not conventional. The soul always hears an admonition in such lines, let the subject be what it may. The sentiment they instill is of more value than any thought they may contain. To believe your own thought, to think that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, — that is genius.

Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost,—— and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment. Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit we ascribe to Moses, Plato, and Milton is, that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men but what they thought. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light that flashes across his mind from within, more than the luster of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought because it is his. In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.

Great works of art have no more affecting lessons for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility than most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact, makes much impression on him, and another none. This sculpture in the memory is not without preestablished harmony. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray. We but half express ourselves and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace. It is a deliverance that does not deliver. In the attempt his genius deserts him; no muse befriends; no invention, no hope.

Trust Thyself: Every Heart Vibrates To That Iron String.

Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, and the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the absolutely trustworthy was seated at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now men, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not minors and invalids in a protected corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but guides, redeemers, and benefactors, obeying the Almighty effort, and advancing on Chaos and the Dark.

What pretty oracles nature yields to us in this text, in the face and behaviour of children, babes, and even brutes! That divided and rebel mind, that distrust of a sentiment because our arithmetic has computed the strength and means opposed to our purpose, these have not. Their mind being whole, their eye is as yet unconquered, and when we look in their faces, we are disconcerted. Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it. So God has armed youth and puberty and manhood no less with its own piquancy and charm, and made it enviable and gracious and its claims not to be put by, if it will stand by itself. Do not think the youth has no force, because he cannot speak to you and me. Hark! in the next room his voice is sufficiently clear and emphatic. It seems he knows how to speak to his contemporaries. Bashful or bold, then, he will know how to make us seniors very unnecessary.

The nonchalance of boys who are sure of a dinner, and would disdain as much as a lord to do or say aught to conciliate one, is the healthy attitude of human nature. A boy is in the parlour what the pit is in the playhouse; independent, irresponsible, looking out from his corner on such people and facts as pass by, he tries and sentences them on their merits, in the swift, summary way of boys, as good, bad, interesting, silly, eloquent, troublesome. He cumbers himself never about consequences, about interests: he gives an independent, genuine verdict. You must court him: he does not court you. But the man is, as it were, clapped into jail by his consciousness. As soon as he has once acted or spoken with eclat, he is a committed person, watched by the sympathy or the hatred of hundreds, whose affections must now enter into his account. There is no Lethe for this. Ah, that he could pass again into his neutrality! Who can thus avoid all pledges, and having observed, observe again from the same unaffected, unbiased, unbribable, unaffrighted innocence, must always be formidable. He would utter opinions on all passing affairs, which being seen to be not private, but necessary, would sink like darts into the ear of men, and put them in fear.

Society everywhere is in conspiracy - Ralph Waldo Emerson

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.

Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. I remember an answer which when quite young I was prompted to make to a valued adviser, who was wont to importune me with the dear old doctrines of the church. On my saying, What have I to do with the sacredness of traditions, if I live wholly from within? my friend suggested, — "But these impulses may be from below, not from above." I replied, "They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the Devil's child, I will live then from the Devil." No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition, as if every thing were titular and ephemeral but he. I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions. Every decent and well-spoken individual affects and sways me more than is right. I ought to go upright and vital, and speak the rude truth in all ways. If malice and vanity wear the coat of philanthropy, shall that pass? If an angry bigot assumes this bountiful cause of Abolition, and comes to me with his last news from Barbadoes, why should I not say to him, 'Go love thy infant; love thy wood-chopper: be good-natured and modest: have that grace; and never varnish your hard, uncharitable ambition with this incredible tenderness for black folk a thousand miles off. Thy love afar is spite at home.' Rough and graceless would be such greeting, but truth is handsomer than the affectation of love. Your goodness must have some edge to it, — else it is none. The doctrine of hatred must be preached as the counteraction of the doctrine of love when that pules and whines. I shun father and mother and wife and brother, when my genius calls me. The lintels of the door-post I would write on, Whim . It is somewhat better than whim at last I hope, but we cannot spend the day in explanation. Expect me not to show cause why I seek or why I exclude company. Then, again, do not tell me, as a good man did to-day, of my obligation to put all poor men in good situations. Are they my poor? I tell thee, thou foolish philanthropist, that I grudge the dollar, the dime, the cent, I give to such men as do not belong to me and to whom I do not belong. There is a class of persons to whom by all spiritual affinity I am bought and sold; for them I will go to prison, if need be; but your miscellaneous popular charities; the education at college of fools; the building of meeting-houses to the vain end to which many now stand; alms to sots; and the thousandfold Relief Societies; — though I confess with shame I sometimes succumb and give the dollar, it is a wicked dollar which by and by I shall have the manhood to withhold.

Virtues are, in the popular estimate, rather the exception than the rule. There is the man and his virtues. Men do what is called a good action, as some piece of courage or charity, much as they would pay a fine in expiation of daily non-appearance on parade. Their works are done as an apology or extenuation of their living in the world, — as invalids and the insane pay a high board. Their virtues are penances. I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. Wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. The primary evidence I ask that you are a man, and refuse this appeal from the man to his actions. For myself it makes no difference that I know, whether I do or forbear those actions which are reckoned excellent. I cannot consent to pay for a privilege where I have intrinsic right. Few and mean as my gifts may be, I actually am, and do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows any secondary testimony.

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.

This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. The easy thing in the world is to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

The objection to conforming to usages that have become dead to you is, that it scatters your force. It loses your time and blurs the impression of your character. If you maintain a dead church, contribute to a dead Bible-society, vote with a great party either for the government or against it, spread your table like base housekeepers, — under all these screens I have difficulty to detect the precise man you are. And, of course, so much force is withdrawn from your proper life. But do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. A man must consider what a blindman's-buff is this game of conformity. If I know your sect, I anticipate your argument. I hear a preacher announce for his text and topic the expediency of one of the institutions of his church. Do I not know beforehand that not possibly can he say a new and spontaneous word? With all this ostentation of examining the grounds of the institution, do I not know that he will do no such thing? Do not I know that he is pledged to himself not to look but at one side, — the permitted side, not as a man, but as a parish minister? He is a retained attorney, and these airs of the bench are the emptiest affectation. Well, most men have bound their eyes with one or another handkerchief, and attached themselves to some one of these communities of opinion. This conformity makes them not false in a few particulars, authors of a few lies, but false in all particulars. Their every truth is not quite true. Their two is not the real two, their four not the real four; so that every word they say chagrins us, and we know not where to begin to set them right. Meantime nature is not slow to equip us in the prison-uniform of the party to which we adhere. We come to wear one cut of face and figure, and acquire by degrees the gentlest asinine expression. There is a mortifying experience in particular, which does not fail to wreak itself also in the general history; I mean "the foolish face of praise," the forced smile which we put on in company where we do not feel at ease in answer to conversation which does not interest us. The muscles, not spontaneously moved, but moved by a low usurping wilfulness, grow tight about the outline of the face with the most disagreeable sensation.

For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure. And therefore a man must know how to estimate a sour face. The by-standers look askance on him in the public street or in the friend's parlour. If this aversation had its origin in contempt and resistance like his own, he might well go home with a sad countenance; but the sour faces of the multitude, like their sweet faces, have no deep cause, but are put on and off as the wind blows and a newspaper directs. Yet is the discontent of the multitude more formidable than that of the senate and the college. It is easy enough for a firm man who knows the world to brook the rage of the cultivated classes. Their rage is decorous and prudent, for they are timid as being very vulnerable themselves. But when to their feminine rage the indignation of the people is added, when the ignorant and the poor are aroused, when the unintelligent brute force that lies at the bottom of society is made to growl and mow, it needs the habit of magnanimity and religion to treat it godlike as a trifle of no concernment.

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them.

But why should you keep your head over your shoulder? Why drag about this corpse of your memory, lest you contradict somewhat you have stated in this or that public place? Suppose you should contradict yourself; what then? It seems to be a rule of wisdom never to rely on your memory alone, scarcely even in acts of pure memory, but to bring the past for judgment into the thousand-eyed present, and live ever in a new day. In your metaphysics you have denied personality to the Deity: yet when the devout motions of the soul come, yield to them heart and life, though they should clothe God with shape and color. Leave your theory, as Joseph his coat in the hand of the harlot, and flee.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.

Do not follow where the path may lead - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I suppose no man can violate his nature.

All the sallies of his will are rounded in by the law of his being, as the inequalities of Andes and Himmaleh are insignificant in the curve of the sphere. Nor does it matter how you gauge and try him. A character is like an acrostic or Alexandrian stanza; — read it forward, backward, or across, it still spells the same thing. In this pleasing, contrite wood-life which God allows me, let me record day by day my honest thought without prospect or retrospect, and, I cannot doubt, it will be found symmetrical, though I mean it not, and see it not. My book should smell of pines and resound with the hum of insects. The swallow over my window should interweave that thread or straw he carries in his bill into my web also. We pass for what we are. Character teaches above our wills. Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment.

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. For of one will, the actions will be harmonious, however unlike they seem. These varieties are lost sight of at a little distance, at a little height of thought. One tendency unites them all. The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks. See the line from a sufficient distance, and it straightens itself to the average tendency. Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. Act singly, and what you have already done singly will justify you now. Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. The force of character is cumulative. All the foregone days of virtue work their health into this. What makes the majesty of the heroes of the senate and the field, which so fills the imagination? The consciousness of a train of great days and victories behind. They shed an united light on the advancing actor. He is attended as by a visible escort of angels. That is it which throws thunder into Chatham's voice, and dignity into Washington's port, and America into Adams's eye. Honor is venerable to us because it is no ephemeris. It is always ancient virtue. We worship it today because it is not of today. We love it and pay it homage, because it is not a trap for our love and homage, but is self-dependent, self-derived, and therefore of an old immaculate pedigree, even if shown in a young person.

I hope in these days we have heard the last of conformity and consistency. Let the words be gazetted and ridiculous henceforward. Instead of the gong for dinner, let us hear a whistle from the Spartan fife. Let us never bow and apologize more. A great man is coming to eat at my house. I do not wish to please him; He should wish to please me, that I wish. I will stand here for humanity, and though I would make it kind, I would make it true. Let us affront and reprimand the smooth mediocrity and squalid contentment of the times, and hurl in the face of custom, and trade, and office, the fact which is the upshot of all history, that there is a great responsible Thinker and Actor working wherever a man works; that a true man belongs to no other time or place, but is the centre of things. Where he is, there is nature. He measures you, and all men, and all events. Ordinarily, every body in society reminds us of somewhat else, or of some other person. Character, reality, reminds you of nothing else; it takes place of the whole creation. The man must be so much, that he must make all circumstances indifferent. Every true man is a cause, a country, and an age; requires infinite spaces and numbers and time fully to accomplish his design; — and posterity seem to follow his steps as a train of clients. A man Caesar is born, and for ages after we have a Roman Empire. Christ is born, and millions of minds so grow and cleave to his genius, that he is confounded with virtue and the possible of man. An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man; as, Monachism, of the Hermit Antony; the Reformation, of Luther; Quakerism, of Fox; Methodism, of Wesley; Abolition, of Clarkson. Scipio, Milton called "the height of Rome"; and all history resolves itself very easily into the biography of a few stout and earnest persons.

Let a man then know his worth, and keep things under his feet. Let him not peep or steal, or skulk up and down with the air of a charity-boy, a bastard, or an interloper, in the world which exists for him. But the man in the street, finding no worth in himself which corresponds to the force which built a tower or sculptured a marble god, feels poor when he looks on these. To him a palace, a statue, or a costly book have an alien and forbidding air, much like a gay equipage, and seem to say like that, 'Who are you, Sir?' Yet they all are his, suitors for his notice, petitioners to his faculties that they will come out and take possession. The picture waits for my verdict: it is not to command me, but I am to settle its claims to praise. That popular fable of the sot who was picked up dead drunk in the street, carried to the duke's house, washed and dressed and laid in the duke's bed, and, on his waking, treated with all obsequious ceremony like the duke, and assured that he had been insane, owes its popularity to the fact, that it symbolizes so well the state of man, who is in the world a sort of sot, but now and then wakes up, exercises his reason, and finds himself a true prince.

Our reading is mendicant and sycophantic. In history, our imagination plays us false. Kingdom and lordship, power and estate, are a gaudier vocabulary than private John and Edward in a small house and common day's work; but the things of life are the same to both; the sum total of both is the same. Why all this deference to Alfred, and Scanderbeg, and Gustavus? Suppose they were virtuous; did they wear out virtue? As great a stake depends on your private act to-day, as followed their public and renowned steps. When private men shall act with original views, the lustre will be transferred from the actions of kings to those of gentlemen.

The world has been instructed by its kings, who have so magnetized the eyes of nations. It has been taught by this colossal symbol the mutual reverence that is due from man to man. The joyful loyalty with which men have everywhere suffered the king, the noble, or the great proprietor to walk among them by a law of his own, make his own scale of men and things, and reverse theirs, pay for benefits not with money but with honor, and represent the law in his person, was the hieroglyphic by which they obscurely signified their consciousness of their own right and comeliness, the right of every man.

The magnetism which all original action exerts is explained when we inquire the reason of self-trust.

Who is the Trustee? What is the aboriginal Self, on which a universal reliance may be grounded? What is the nature and power of that science-baffling star, without parallax, without calculable elements, which shoots a ray of beauty even into trivial and impure actions, if the least mark of independence appear? The inquiry leads us to that source, at once the essence of genius, of virtue, and of life, which we call Spontaneity or Instinct. We denote this primary wisdom as Intuition, whilst all later teachings are tuitions. In that deep force, the last fact behind which analysis cannot go, all things find their common origin. For, the sense of being which in calm hours rises, we know not how, in the soul, is not diverse from things, from space, from light, from time, from man, but one with them, and proceeds obviously from the same source whence their life and being also proceed. We first share the life by which things exist, and afterwards see them as appearances in nature, and forget that we have shared their cause. Here is the fountain of action and of thought. Here are the lungs of that inspiration which giveth man wisdom, and which cannot be denied without impiety and atheism. We lie in the lap of immense intelligence, which makes us receivers of its truth and organs of its activity. When we discern justice, when we discern truth, we do nothing of ourselves, but allow a passage to its beams. If we ask whence this comes, if we seek to pry into the soul that causes, all philosophy is at fault. Its presence or its absence is all we can affirm. Every man discriminates between the voluntary acts of his mind, and his involuntary perceptions, and knows that to his involuntary perceptions a perfect faith is due. He may err in the expression of them, but he knows that these things are so, like day and night, not to be disputed. My wilful actions and acquisitions are but roving; — the idlest reverie, the faintest native emotion, command my curiosity and respect. Thoughtless people contradict as readily the statement of perceptions as of opinions, or rather much more readily; for, they do not distinguish between perception and notion. They fancy that I choose to see this or that thing. But perception is not whimsical, but fatal. If I see a trait, my children will see it after me, and in course of time, all mankind, — although it may chance that no one has seen it before me. For my perception of it is as much a fact as the sun.

The relations of the soul to the divine spirit are so pure, that it is profane to seek to interpose helps. It must be that when God speaketh he should communicate, not one thing, but all things; should fill the world with his voice; should scatter forth light, nature, time, souls, from the centre of the present thought; and new date and new create the whole. Whenever a mind is simple, and receives a divine wisdom, old things pass away, — means, teachers, texts, temples fall; it lives now, and absorbs past and future into the present hour. All things are made sacred by relation to it, — one as much as another. All things are dissolved to their centre by their cause, and, in the universal miracle, petty and particular miracles disappear. If, therefore, a man claims to know and speak of God, and carries you backward to the phraseology of some old mouldered nation in another country, in another world, believe him not. Is the acorn better than the oak which is its fulness and completion? Is the parent better than the child into whom he has cast his ripened being? Whence, then, this worship of the past? The centuries are conspirators against the sanity and authority of the soul. Time and space are but physiological colors which the eye makes, but the soul is light; where it is, is day; where it was, is night; and history is an impertinence and an injury, if it be anything more than a cheerful apologue or parable of my being and becoming.

Man is timid and apologetic; he is no longer upright; 'I think,' 'I am,' that he dares not say, but quotes some saint or sage. He is ashamed before the blade of grass or the blowing rose. These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God today. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence. Before a leaf bud has burst, its whole life acts; in the full-blown flower there is no more; in the leafless root there is no less. Its nature is satisfied, and it satisfies nature, in all moments alike. But man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but with reverted eye laments the past, or, heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above time.

This should be plain enough. Yet see what strong intellects dare not yet hear God himself, unless he speak the phraseology of I know not what David, or Jeremiah, or Paul. We shall not always set so great a price on a few texts, on a few lives. We are like children who repeat by rote the sentences of grandames and tutors, and, as they grow older, of the men of talents and character they chance to see, — painfully recollecting the exact words they spoke; afterwards, when they come into the point of view which those had who uttered these sayings, they understand them, and are willing to let the words go; for, at any time, they can use words as good when occasion comes. If we live truly, we shall see truly. It is as easy for the strong man to be strong, as it is for the weak to be weak. When we have new perception, we shall gladly disburden the memory of its hoarded treasures as old rubbish. When a man lives with God, his voice shall be as sweet as the murmur of the brook and the rustle of the corn.

And now at last the highest truth on this subject remains unsaid; probably cannot be said; for all that we say is the far-off remembering of the intuition. That thought, by what I can now nearest approach to say it, is this. When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; not see the face of man; and you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. It shall exclude example and experience. You take the way from man, not to man. All persons that ever existed are its forgotten ministers. Fear and hope are alike beneath it. There is somewhat low even in hope. In the hour of vision, there is nothing that can be called gratitude, nor properly joy. The soul raised over passion beholds identity and eternal causation, perceives the self-existence of Truth and Right, and calms itself with knowing that all things go well. Vast spaces of nature, the Atlantic Ocean, the South Sea, — long intervals of time, years, centuries, — are of no account. This which I think and feel underlay every former state of life and circumstances, as it does underlie my present, and what is called life, and what is called death.

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life only avails, not the having lived.

Power ceases in the instant of repose; it resides in the moment of transition from a past to a new state, in the shooting of the gulf, in the darting to an aim. This one fact the world hates is that the soul becomes ; for that forever degrades the past, turns all riches to poverty, all reputation to a shame, confounds the saint with the rogue, shoves Jesus and Judas equally aside. Why, then, do we prate of self-reliance? Inasmuch as the soul is present, there will be power, not confidence but an agent. To talk of reliance is a poor external way of speaking. Speak rather of that which relies, because it works and is. Who has more obedience than I masters me, though he should not raise his finger. Round him I must revolve by the gravitation of spirits. We fancy it rhetoric, when we speak of eminent virtue. We do not yet see that virtue is Height, and that a man or a company of men, plastic and permeable to principles, by the law of nature must overpower and ride all cities, nations, kings, rich men, poets, who are not.

This is the ultimate fact which we so quickly reach on this, as on every topic, the resolution of all into the ever-blessed ONE. Self-existence is the attribute of the Supreme Cause, and it constitutes the measure of good by the degree in which it enters into all lower forms. All things real are so by so much virtue as they contain. Commerce, husbandry, hunting, whaling, war, eloquence , personal weight, are somewhat, and engage my respect as examples of its presence and impure action. I see the same law working in nature for conservation and growth. Power is in nature the essential measure of right. Nature suffers nothing to remain in her kingdoms which cannot help itself. The genesis and maturation of a planet, its poise and orbit, the bended tree recovering itself from the strong wind, the vital resources of every animal and vegetable, are demonstrations of the self-sufficing, and therefore self-relying soul.

Thus all concentrates: let us not rove; let us sit at home with the cause. Let us stun and astonish the intruding rabble of men and books and institutions, by a simple declaration of the divine fact. Bid the invaders take the shoes from off their feet, for God is here within. Let our simplicity judge them, and our docility to our own law demonstrate the poverty of nature and fortune beside our native riches.

But now we are a mob. Man does not stand in awe of man, nor is his genius admonished to stay at home, to put itself in communication with the internal ocean, but it goes abroad to beg a cup of water of the urns of other men. We must go alone. I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching. How far off, how cool, how chaste the persons look, begirt each one with a precinct or sanctuary! So let us always sit. Why should we assume the faults of our friend, or wife, or father, or child, because they sit around our hearth, or are said to have the same blood? All men have my blood, and I have all men's. Not for that will I adopt their petulance or folly, even to the extent of being ashamed of it. But your isolation must not be mechanical, but spiritual, that is, must be elevation. At times the whole world seems to be in conspiracy to importune you with emphatic trifles. Friend, client, child, sickness, fear, want, charity, all knock at once at thy closet door, and say, — 'Come out unto us.' But keep thy state; come not into their confusion. The power men possess to annoy me, I give them by a weak curiosity. No man can come near me but through my act. "What we love that we have, but by desire we bereave ourselves of the love."

If we cannot at once rise to the sanctities of obedience and faith, let us at least resist our temptations; let us enter into the state of war, and wake Thor and Woden, courage and constancy, in our Saxon breasts. This is to be done in our smooth times by speaking the truth. Check this lying hospitality and lying affection. Live no longer to the expectation of these deceived and deceiving people with whom we converse. Say to them, O father, O mother, O wife, O brother, O friend, I have lived with you after appearances hitherto. Henceforward I am the truth's. Be it known unto you that henceforward I obey no law less than the eternal law. I will have no covenants but proximities. To nourish my parents, to support my family I shall endeavour, to be the chaste husband of one wife, — but these relations I must fill after a new and unprecedented way. I appeal from your customs that I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions if you are not. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men's, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh today? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. — But so you may give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason, when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me, and do the same thing.

The populace think that your rejection of popular standards is a rejection of all standard, and mere antinomianism; and the bold sensualist will use the name of philosophy to gild his crimes. But the law of consciousness abides. There are two confessionals, in one or the other of which we must be shriven. You may fulfil your round of duties by clearing yourself in the direct , or in the reflex way. Consider whether you have satisfied your relations to father, mother, cousin, neighbour, town, cat, and dog; whether any of these can upbraid you. But I may also neglect this reflex standard, and absolve me to myself. I have my own stern claims and perfect circle. It denies the name of duty to many offices that are called duties. But if I can discharge its debts, it enables me to dispense with the popular code. If anyone imagines that this law is lax, let him keep its commandment one day.

And truly it demands something godlike in him who has cast off the common motives of humanity, and has ventured to trust himself for a taskmaster. High be his heart, faithful his will, clear his sight, that he may in good earnest be doctrine, society, law, to himself, that a simple purpose may be to him as strong as iron necessity is to others!

If any man consider the present aspects of what is called by distinction society , he will see the need of these ethics. The sinew and heart of man seem to be drawn out, and we are become timorous, desponding whimperers. We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. We want men and women who shall renovate life and our social state, but we see that most natures are insolvent, cannot satisfy their own wants, have an ambition out of all proportion to their practical force, and do lean and beg day and night continually. Our housekeeping is mendicant, our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate , where strength is born.

If our young men miscarry in their first enterprises, they lose all heart.

Men say he is ruined if the young merchant fails . If the finest genius studies at one of our colleges, and is not installed in an office within one year afterwards in the cities or suburbs of Boston or New York, it seems to his friends and to himself that he is right in being disheartened, and in complaining the rest of his life. A sturdy lad from New Hampshire or Vermont, who in turn tries all the professions, who teams it , farms it , peddles , keeps a school, preaches, edits a newspaper, goes to Congress, buys a township, and so forth, in successive years, and always, like a cat, falls on his feet, is worth a hundred of these city dolls. He walks abreast with his days, and feels no shame in not 'studying a profession,' for he does not postpone his life, but lives already. He has not one chance, but a hundred chances. Let a Stoic open the resources of man, and tell men they are not leaning willows, but can and must detach themselves; that with the exercise of self-trust, new powers shall appear; that a man is the word made flesh, born to shed healing to the nations, that he should be ashamed of our compassion, and that the moment he acts from himself, tossing the laws, the books, idolatries, and customs out of the window, we pity him no more, but thank and revere him, — and that teacher shall restore the life of man to splendor, and make his name dear to all history.

It is easy to see that a greater self-reliance must work a revolution in all the offices and relations of men; in their religion; education; and in their pursuits; their modes of living; their association; in their property; in their speculative views.

1. In what prayers do men allow themselves! That which they call a holy office is not so much as brave and manly. Prayer looks abroad and asks for some foreign addition to come through some foreign virtue, and loses itself in endless mazes of natural and supernatural, and mediatorial and miraculous. It is prayer that craves a particular commodity, — anything less than all good, — is vicious. Prayer is the contemplation of the facts of life from the highest point of view. It is the soliloquy of a beholding and jubilant soul. It is the spirit of God pronouncing his works good. But prayer as a means to effect a private end is meanness and theft. It supposes dualism and not unity in nature and consciousness. As soon as the man is at one with God, he will not beg. He will then see prayer in all action. The prayer of the farmer kneeling in his field to weed it, the prayer of the rower kneeling with the stroke of his oar, are true prayers heard throughout nature, though for cheap ends. Caratach, in Fletcher's Bonduca, when admonished to inquire the mind of the god Audate, replies, —

"His hidden meaning lies in our endeavours; Our valors are our best gods."

Another sort of false prayers are our regrets. Discontent is the want of self-reliance: it is infirmity of will. Regret calamities, if you can thereby help the sufferer; if not, attend your own work, and already the evil begins to be repaired. Our sympathy is just as base. We come to them who weep foolishly, and sit down and cry for company, instead of imparting to them truth and health in rough electric shocks, putting them once more in communication with their own reason. The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. We solicitously and apologetically caress and celebrate him, because he held on his way and scorned our disapprobation. The gods love him because men hated him. "To the persevering mortal," said Zoroaster, "the blessed Immortals are swift."

As men's prayers are a disease of the will, so are their creeds a disease of the intellect . They say with those foolish Israelites, 'Let not God speak to us, lest we die. Speak thou, speak any man with us, and we will obey.' Everywhere I am hindered of meeting God in my brother, because he has shut his own temple doors, and recites fables merely of his brother's, or his brother's brother's God. Every new mind is a new classification. If it prove a mind of uncommon activity and power, a Locke, a Lavoisier, a Hutton, a Bentham, a Fourier, it imposes its classification on other men, and lo! a new system. In proportion to the depth of the thought, and so to the number of the objects it touches and brings within reach of the pupil, is his complacency. But chiefly is this apparent in creeds and churches, which are also classifications of some powerful mind acting on the elemental thought of duty, and man's relation to the Highest. Such as Calvinism, Quakerism, Swedenborgism. The pupil takes the same delight in subordinating everything to the new terminology, as a girl who has just learned botany in seeing a new earth and new seasons thereby. It will happen for a time, that the pupil will find his intellectual power has grown by the study of his master's mind. But in all unbalanced minds, the classification is idolized, passes for the end, and not for a speedily exhaustible means, so that the walls of the system blend to their eye in the remote horizon with the walls of the universe; the luminaries of heaven seem to them hung on the arch their master built. They cannot imagine how you aliens have any right to see, — how you can see; 'It must be somehow that you stole the light from us.' They do not yet perceive, that light, unsystematic, indomitable, will break into any cabin, even into theirs. Let them chirp awhile and call it their own. If they are honest and do well, presently their neat new pinfold will be too strait and low, will crack, will lean, will rot and vanish, and the immortal light, all young and joyful, million-orbed, million-colored, will beam over the universe as on the first morning.

2. It is for want of self-culture that the superstition of Travelling, whose idols are Italy, England, Egypt, retains its fascination for all educated Americans. They who made England, Italy, or Greece venerable in the imagination did so by sticking fast where they were, like an axis of the earth. In manly hours, we feel that duty is our place. The soul is no traveller; the wise man stays at home, and when his necessities, his duties, on any occasion call him from his house, or into foreign lands, he is at home still, and shall make men sensible by the expression of his countenance, that he goes the missionary of wisdom and virtue, and visits cities and men like a sovereign, and not like an interloper or a valet.

I have no churlish objection to the circumnavigation of the globe, for the purposes of art, of study, and benevolence, so that the man is first domesticated, or does not go abroad with the hope of finding somewhat greater than he knows. He who travels to be amused, or to get somewhat which he does not carry, travels away from himself, and grows old even in youth among old things. In Thebes, in Palmyra, his will and mind have become old and dilapidated as they. He carries ruins to ruins.

Travelling is a fool's paradise. Our first journeys discover to us the indifference of places. At home I dream that at Naples, at Rome, I can be intoxicated with beauty, and lose my sadness. I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the stern fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from. The Vatican, and the palaces I seek. But I am not intoxicated though I affect to be intoxicated with sights and suggestions. My giant goes with me wherever I go.

3. But the rage of travelling is a symptom of a deeper unsoundness affecting the whole intellectual action. The intellect is vagabond, and our system of education fosters restlessness. Our minds travel when our bodies are forced to stay at home. We imitate, and what is imitation but the travelling of the mind? Our houses are built with foreign taste; Shelves are garnished with foreign ornaments, but our opinions, our tastes, our faculties, lean, and follow the Past and the Distant. The soul created the arts wherever they have flourished. It was in his own mind that the artist sought his model. It was an application of his own thought to the thing to be done and the conditions to be observed. And why need we copy the Doric or the Gothic model? Beauty, convenience, grandeur of thought, and quaint expression are as near to us as to any, and if the American artist will study with hope and love the precise thing to be done by him, considering the climate, the soil, the length of the day, the wants of the people, the habit and form of the government, he will create a house in which all these will find themselves fitted, and taste and sentiment will be satisfied also.

Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation, but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous, half possession. That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. No man yet knows what it is, nor can, till that person has exhibited it. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? Every great man is a unique. The Scipionism of Scipio is precisely that part he could not borrow. Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. There is at this moment for you an utterance brave and grand as that of the colossal chisel of Phidias, or trowel of the Egyptians, or the pen of Moses, or Dante, but different from all these. Not possibly will the soul all rich, all eloquent, with thousand-cloven tongue, deign to repeat itself; but if you can hear what these patriarchs say, surely you can reply to them in the same pitch of voice; for the ear and the tongue are two organs of one nature. Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart, and thou shalt reproduce the Foreworld again.

To be yourself in a world - Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. As our Religion, our Education, our Art look abroad, so does our spirit of society. All men plume themselves on the improvement of society, and no man improves.

Society never advances. It recedes as fast on one side as it gains on the other and undergoes continual changes; it is barbarous, civilized, christianized, rich and it is scientific, but this change is not amelioration. For everything that is given, something is taken. Society acquires new arts, and loses old instincts. What a contrast between the well-clad, reading, writing, thinking American, with a watch, a pencil, and a bill of exchange in his pocket, and the naked New Zealander, whose property is a club, a spear, a mat, and an undivided twentieth of a shed to sleep under! But compare the health of the two men, and you shall see that the white man has lost his aboriginal strength. If the traveller tell us truly, strike the savage with a broad axe, and in a day or two, the flesh shall unite and heal as if you struck the blow into soft pitch, and the same blow shall send the white to his grave.

The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet. He is supported on crutches, but lacks so much support of muscle. He has a fine Geneva watch, but he fails of the skill to tell the hour by the sun. A Greenwich nautical almanac he has, and so being sure of the information when he wants it, the man in the street does not know a star in the sky. The solstice he does not observe, the equinox he knows as little, and the whole bright calendar of the year are without a dial in his mind. His note-books impair his memory; his libraries overload his wit; the insurance office increases the number of accidents; and it may be a question whether machinery does not encumber; whether we have not lost by refinement some energy, by a Christianity entrenched in establishments and forms, some vigor of wild virtue. For every Stoic was a Stoic, but in Christendom, where is the Christian?

There is no more deviation in the moral standard than in the standard of height or bulk. No greater men are now than ever were. A singular equality may be observed between the great men of the first and of the last ages; nor can all the science, art, religion, and philosophy of the nineteenth century avail to educate greater men than Plutarch's heroes, three or four and twenty centuries ago. Not in time is the race progressive. Phocion, Socrates, Anaxagoras, Diogenes, are great men, but they leave no class. He who is really of their class will not be called by their name, but will be his own man, and, in his turn, the founder of a sect. The arts and inventions of each period are only its costume, and do not invigorate men. The harm of the improved machinery may compensate its good. Hudson and Behring accomplished so much in their fishing boats, as to astonish Parry and Franklin, whose equipment exhausted the resources of science and art. Galileo, with an opera-glass, discovered a more splendid series of celestial phenomena than anyone since. Columbus found the New World in an undecked boat. It is curious to see the periodical disuse and perishing of means and machinery, which were introduced with loud laudation a few years or centuries before. The great genius returns to essential man. We reckoned the improvements of the art of war among the triumphs of science, and yet Napoleon conquered Europe by the bivouac, which consisted of falling back on naked valor and disencumbering it of all aids. The Emperor held it impossible to make a perfect army, says Las Casas, "without abolishing our arms, magazines, commissaries, and carriages, until, in imitation of the Roman custom, the soldier should receive his supply of corn, grind it in his hand-mill, and bake his bread himself."

Society is a wave. The wave moves onward, but the water of which it is composed does not. The same particle does not rise from the valley to the ridge. Its unity is only phenomenal. The persons who make up a nation today, next year die, and their experience with them.

And so the reliance on Property, including the reliance on governments which protect it, is the want of self-reliance. Men have looked away from themselves and at things so long, that they have come to esteem the religious, learned, and civil institutions as guards of property, and they deprecate assaults on these, because they feel them to be assaults on property. They measure their esteem of each other by what each has, and not by what each is. But a cultivated man becomes ashamed of his property, out of new respect for his nature. Especially he hates what he has, if he see that it is accidental, — came to him by inheritance, or gift, or crime; then he feels that it is not having; it does not belong to him, has no root in him, and merely lies there, because no revolution or no robber takes it away. But that which a man is does always by necessity acquire, and what the man acquires is living property, which does not wait the beck of rulers, or mobs, or revolutions, or fire, or storm, or bankruptcies, but perpetually renews itself wherever the man breathes. "Thy lot or portion of life," said the Caliph Ali, "is seeking after thee; therefore, be at rest from seeking after it." Our dependence on these foreign goods leads us to our slavish respect for numbers. The political parties meet in numerous conventions; the greater the concourse, and with each new uproar of announcement, The delegation from Essex! The Democrats from New Hampshire! The Whigs of Maine! the young patriot feels himself stronger than before by a new thousand of eyes and arms. In like manner the reformers summon conventions, and vote and resolve in multitude. Not so, O friends! will the God deign to enter and inhabit you, but by a method precisely the reverse. It is only as a man puts off all foreign support, and stands alone, that I see him to be strong and to prevail. He is weaker by every recruit to his banner. Is not a man better than a town? Ask nothing of men, and in the endless mutation, thou only firm column must presently appear the upholder of all that surrounds thee. He who knows that power is inborn, that he is weak because he has looked for good out of him and elsewhere, and so perceiving, throws himself unhesitatingly on his thought, instantly rights himself, stands in the erect position, commands his limbs, works miracles; just as a man who stands on his feet is stronger than a man who stands on his head.

So use all that is called Fortune. Most men gamble with her, and gain all, and lose all, as her wheel rolls. But do thou leave as unlawful these winnings, and deal with Cause and Effect, the chancellors of God. In the Will work and acquire, and thou hast chained the wheel of Chance, and shalt sit hereafter out of fear from her rotations. A political victory, a rise of rents, the recovery of your sick, or the return of your absent friend, or some other favorable event, raises your spirits, and you think good days are preparing for you. Do not believe it. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.

Which quotation from "Self-reliance" best summarizes Emerson’s view on belief in oneself?

One of the most famous quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self-Reliance" that summarizes his view on belief in oneself is:

"Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string."

What does Emerson argue should be the basis of human actions in the second paragraph of “self-reliance”?

In the second paragraph of "Self-Reliance," Emerson argues that individual conscience, or a person's inner voice, should be the basis of human actions. He writes, "Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist." He believes that society tends to impose conformity and discourage people from following their own inner truth and intuition. Emerson encourages individuals to trust themselves and to act according to their own beliefs, instead of being influenced by the opinions of others. He argues that this is the way to live a truly authentic and fulfilling life.

Which statement best describes Emerson’s opinion of communities, according to the first paragraph of society and solitude?

According to the first paragraph of Ralph Waldo Emerson's " Society and Solitude, " Emerson has a mixed opinion of communities. He recognizes the importance of social interaction and the benefits of being part of a community but also recognizes the limitations that come with it.

He writes, "Society everywhere is in a conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members." He argues that society can be limiting and restrictive, and can cause individuals to conform to norms and values that may not align with their own beliefs and desires. He believes that it is important for individuals to strike a balance between the benefits of social interaction and the need for solitude and self-discovery.

Which best describes Emerson’s central message to his contemporaries in "self-reliance"?

Ralph Waldo Emerson's central message to his contemporaries in "Self-Reliance" is to encourage individuals to trust in their own beliefs and instincts, and to break free from societal norms and expectations. He argues that individuals should have the courage to think for themselves and to live according to their own individual truth, rather than being influenced by the opinions of others. Through this message, he aims to empower people to live authentic and fulfilling lives, rather than living in conformity and compromise.

Yet, it is critical that we first possess the ability to conceive our own thoughts. Prior to venturing into the world, we must be intimately acquainted with our own selves and our individual minds. This sentiment echoes the concise maxim inscribed at the ancient Greek site of the Delphic Oracle: 'Know Thyself.'

In essence, Emerson's central message in "Self-Reliance" is to promote self-reliance and individualism as the key to a meaningful and purposeful life.

Understanding Emerson: "The American scholar" and his struggle for self-reliance.

Princeton University Press. ISBN 0-691-09982-0

Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

Other works from ralph waldo emerson for book clubs, the over-soul.

There is a difference between one and another hour of life, in their authority and subsequent effect. Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.

The American Scholar

An Oration delivered before the Phi Beta Kappa Society, at Cambridge, August 31, 1837

Essays First Series

Essays: First Series First published in 1841 as Essays. After Essays: Second Series was published in 1844, Emerson corrected this volume and republished it in 1847 as Essays: First Series.

Emerson's Essays

Research the collective works of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Read More Essay

Self-Reliance

Emerson's most famous work that can truly change your life. Check it out

Early Emerson Poems

America's best known and best-loved poems. More Poems

Expand on Your Inner Strengths

Inner strengths like resilience and compassion are vital for your well-being..

Posted February 17, 2020 | Reviewed by Chloe Williams

What would make a difference inside you?

The Practice: Expand on Your Inner Strengths

I've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include a positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination, and a warm heart. Researchers have identified other strengths as well, such as self-compassion, secure attachment , emotional intelligence , learned optimism, relaxation response, self-esteem , distress tolerance, self-regulation , resilience , and executive functions . I'm using the word strength broadly to include positive feelings such as calm, contentment, and caring, as well as skills, useful perspectives and inclinations, and embodied qualities such as vitality or relaxation. Unlike fleeting mental states, inner strengths are stable traits, an enduring source of well-being, wise and effective action, and contributions to others.

The idea of inner strengths might seem abstract at first. Let's bring it down to earth with some concrete examples. The alarm goes off and you'd rather snooze—so you find the will to get up. Let's say you have kids and they're squabbling and it's frustrating—so instead of yelling, you get in touch with that place inside that's firm but not angry. You're embarrassed about making a mistake at work—so you call up a sense of worth from past accomplishments. You get stressed racing around—so you find some welcome calm in several long exhalations. You feel sad about not having a partner—so you find some comfort in thinking about the friends you do have. Throughout your day, other inner strengths are operating automatically in the back of your mind, such as a sense of perspective, faith, or self-awareness.

A well-known idea in medicine and psychology is that how you feel and act, both over the course of your life and in specific relationships and situations, is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities. For example, the challenge of a critical boss would be intensified by a person's vulnerability to anxiety , but he or she could cope by calling on inner strengths of self-soothing and feeling respected by others.

We all have vulnerabilities. Personally, I wish it were not so easy for me to become worried and self-critical. And life has no end of challenges, from minor hassles like dropped cell phone calls to old age, disease, and death. You need strengths to deal with challenges and vulnerabilities, and as either or both of these grow, so must your strengths to match them. If you want to feel less stressed, anxious, frustrated, irritable, depressed , disappointed, lonely , guilty, hurt, or inadequate, having more inner strengths will help you.

On average, about a third of a person's strengths are innate, built into his or her genetically based temperament, talents, mood, and personality . The other two-thirds are developed over time. You get them by growing them. To me, this is wonderful news since it means that we can develop the happiness and other inner strengths that foster fulfillment, love, effectiveness, wisdom , and inner peace. Finding out how to grow these strengths inside you could be the most important thing you ever learn.

Your experiences matter . Not just for how they feel in the moment but for the lasting traces they leave in your brain. Your experiences of happiness, worry, love, and anxiety can make real changes in your neural networks. The structure-building processes of the nervous system are turbocharged by conscious experience and especially by what's in the foreground of your awareness. Your attention is like a combination spotlight and vacuum cleaner: It highlights what it lands on and then sucks it into your brain, for better or worse.

There is a traditional saying that the mind takes its shape from what it rests upon. Based on what we've learned about experience-dependent neuroplasticity, a modern version would be to say that the brain takes its shape from what the mind rests upon.

If you keep resting your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger , sadness, and guilt . On the other hand, if you keep resting your mind on good events and conditions (someone was nice to you, there's a roof over your head), pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it, as well as a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth.

Looking back over the past week or so, where has your mind been mainly resting?

In effect, what you pay attention to—what you rest your mind on—is the primary shaper of your brain. While some things naturally grab a person's attention, such as a problem at work, a physical pain, or a serious worry, on the whole, you have a lot of influence over where your mind rests. This means that you can deliberately prolong and even create the experiences that will shape your brain for the better.

This practice of growing inner strengths is both simple and authentic. First, look for opportunities to have an experience of the strength. For example, if you are trying to feel more cared about, keep your eyes open for those little moments in a day when someone else is friendly, attentive, including, appreciative, warm, caring, or loving toward you—and let your recognition of these good facts become an experience of feeling cared about, even in small ways. Second, help this experience actually sink into your brain—the good that lasts—by staying with it a dozen seconds or more in a row, helping it fill your body, and getting a sense of it sinking into you as you sink into it. (My book, Hardwiring Happiness , gets into the details of this process.)

In essence, expanding inner strengths boils down to just four words, applied to a positive experience: have it, enjoy it . And see for yourself what happens when you do.

Like this article? Receive more like it each week when you sign up for Rick Hanson's free Just One Thing Newsletter .

Rick Hanson, Ph.D. , is a senior fellow of the Greater Good Center at UC Berkeley.

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If You Want to Get Stronger, Routine Is the Enemy

To get the most out of your strength training, try progressive overload.

A woman in partial silhouette lifts two dumbbells above her head.

By Hilary Achauer

Hilary Achauer started weight lifting 14 years ago, at 37. Using progressive overload she’s been able to clean and jerk 150 pounds and back squat more than 200 pounds.

When Bryan Mann talks about weight lifting, he often tells the story of Milo of Croton, a Greek wrestler who lived 2,500 years ago.

Legend has it that Milo started his yearly training by buying a newborn calf. Every day, he hoisted the calf onto his shoulders and carried it up the stadium steps. As the calf grew, Milo became stronger, until he was carrying around a full-size ox.

While most people can’t carry livestock around their cul-de-sac, the formula for getting stronger today hasn’t changed, said Dr. Mann, a clinical associate professor of kinesiology at Texas A&M University. The core of every strength training program is a concept called progressive overload , in which you gradually increase either the weight, repetitions , difficulty, intensity or some combination.

Strength training, especially as you age , improves cardiovascular health, blood pressure and bone density and reduces the risk of lower back pain . But none of that happens without progressive overload.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re a 10-year-old on a soccer team, a 30-year-old interested in general fitness or a 70-year-old trying to reduce the risk of falling — some type of overload is needed,” Avery Faigenbaum, a professor of health and exercise science at the College of New Jersey, said.

Overload doesn’t mean you have to clean and jerk 200 pounds, however. It doesn’t even require lifting heavier weights. You can challenge your muscles by doing a more difficult movement — lunges instead of squats — or doing it faster.

Overload doesn’t require weights, but they help.

Going into your garage and lifting the same dumbbells the same number of times for weeks on end will lead to a workout plateau where you stop building additional muscle mass. Muscles grow when challenged, causing microscopic tears in the fibers that the body repairs with stronger muscles.

That said, if you are creative, you can get stronger with a pair of dumbbells or even no weights at all, said Elizabeth Wipff, a strength training coach who specializes in working with women over age 50.

“You can progress from chair squats , without holding onto anything, to squats holding onto a heavy object,” Ms. Wipff said, such as a backpack filled with books.

Or, start by doing push-ups against a wall or a counter, and gradually make the movement more difficult by placing your hands lower so you’re supporting more of your body’s weight. Studies suggest that you can build strength with exercise bands, though Ms. Wipff doesn’t recommend them, because it’s hard to precisely increase the weight and the elastic wears out over time.

How to use progressive overload in your workout routine.

If you already have a strength routine and have been lifting the same weight for months, the simplest change is to add a little more weight. Not sure how hard you should be working? For beginners, Dr. Mann said, stop about two repetitions from failure (or what feels like a 7.5 out of 10) in order to maintain good form. And pick a weight that you can lift for about 10 repetitions.

If you don’t feel like adding more weight, try a more difficult variation, like switching from a chin-up to a pull-up . The exact movements or pounds aren’t as important as the slow increase in difficulty.

Lastly, base your workout on how you feel that day, Dr. Mann said, not on past performance. If you’re feeling worn out or stressed, it’s OK to dial back the weight.

For those looking to build muscle, here is a simple 12-week workout cycle to try with dumbbells or a barbell:

Pick your exercises and weights

Start by lifting twice a week and increase to three or four times a week, if your body feels strong and you want more rapid progress. Write down your weights and reps as you progress.

Pick three different movements total, such as lunges, squats , bench press or shoulder press . You can do the exercises all on one day, or split them up between days. Build in rest days for your muscles to recover.

Weeks 1 to 4

Three sets of 12 to 15 reps: For the first two weeks, use a weight that feels easy and work on your form. If you’re unsure of the correct form or worried about injury, book a session with a trainer for guidance. For the second two weeks, add a small amount of weight, about 5 percent, to each lift. This may be too easy if you started out with a relatively light weight, so increase more than that if you want a greater challenge.

Weeks 5 to 8

Three sets of 8 to 12 reps: Start with a weight that’s 5 to 10 percent more than what you ended with the previous week. You’ll notice you can add more weight for exercises that use the biggest muscles in your body, such as a squat, as opposed to movement that uses a smaller muscle, like a bicep curl.

Increase the weight by 5 to 10 percent every week, as long as you can maintain good form.

Weeks 9 to 12

Three sets of 5 to 8 reps: This is where it should start to get tough. You’ve been building your muscles for eight weeks, so now it’s time to challenge yourself. Find a weight where your last repetition feels difficult.

Increase the weight by 2.5 percent to 5 percent every week, maintaining good form.

Next, take a week off, either lifting very light weights or taking a complete break from weight lifting. Then you can start the program over again, either with new exercises or the same — but with heavier weights.

Hilary Achauer is a freelance writer covering health and fitness.

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